Lesson 303 ~Remember What Fear Taste Like~

I can’t describe it, and I could be just like everybody trembling, sweating, wanting to shut my eyes but then how would I ever make it through my day; if you only knew everything that scares me. Remember What Fear Taste Like.

Monday, April 30, 2018

Lesson 303 ~Remember What Fear Taste Like~

Thirtieth Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today, but at least I’m not scared… entirely, because fear is a sickness; in the Bible, it says something to the tune of all have sinned but that’s not true, why should I have to pay for the first man that messed up? Fear, on the other hand, children aren’t born with that, this world infects them, and as far as a cure, there is none, no not one, if anything we can only become stronger.

We seek out fear to endure a greater one or maybe that’s just me, so I never forget the need, or the taste, as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger or what doesn’t kill you had better start running. Nine times out of ten we fear things that could never conceivably hurt us, I could go all political and talk about this country’s fear of black men and why it’s us that should be afraid. I could also tell you about how many people are scared of me, why else would I think of myself as a monster, the “boy” with his head down, keeping to himself, who scares pretty girls with handwritten sentiments, who only needs enough strength to stand today.

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity Kitai. Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice. We are all telling ourselves a story and that day mine changed.” Cypher Raige ― After Earth

Fear is a choice Madam Justice, but like hate, there’s too damn much of it always, so what if I had the strength to stop being afraid there would still be those that fear me for being what I am. If I choose to be frightened those same people will wonder why I am terrified, with everything that I could be fearful of, a pretty girl at Walmart shouldn’t be one, a stupid bitch with a blog shouldn’t matter, the terror of losing my job. Why not become my father, who’s so afraid he allowed anger, rage, hate to consume him, Hell itself follows him but then again I usually give into lust, and that makes me even scarier right?

Courage, of course, is not the defeat of fear but merely it’s acceptance, what about power, will; dare I say, love, I’m almost tempted to say fear might be the highest power. I’ll even admit I like the look on a girl’s face in certain situations; fear can keep you awake. Of all the rules that I have this one is probably the easiest to adhere to every day sadly, Remember What Fear Taste Like.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 302 ~Never Learned To Wrap~

They don’t realize how much of an idiot you are until they open it, like my writing and somebody told me once I wear my heart on my sleeve, and of course, nobody wants to see that. Never Learned To Wrap, and I’m terrible at gift giving I suppose

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Lesson 302 ~Never Learned To Wrap~

To Will:
I Am Not Fine Today but “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday”… no, you would lose what’s left of your mind; how about a birthday, hell no, and Valentine’s everybody knows what they’re getting but you haven’t gotten it on that particular day. They say that it’s better to give than to receive and today you have had a bit of a revelation. That is you have nothing to offer this small world. Seriously are you becoming more depressed or what Will?

Think about it though, rules know creation for a reason, and maybe every person is given one gift and writing isn’t yours; before you say anything, you did complete one of your six impossible things. Anyway, what about the girls that say you have a keen fashion sense, wrapping gifts, e.g., lingerie that some other guy gets to take off of them, that’s not a gift that’s a curse. What about The Simpsons “will somebody please think of the children” yeah introducing a child to Star Wars, really did being a Star Wars fan do me any favors and speaking of favors, six impossible things?

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 43 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 50 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves (Cut The Yard? Find A Pet Groomer)
Completed (Backyard Cut, Two New Groomers Located)
3. I Will Not Trash My New Novel
Completed
4. I Will Complete 50% of VLAD
Completed 77%
5. I Will Post A Review
Completed? Galahad Suns (Today)
6. I Will Finish My Book
Completed

If someone ever asked what’s the best gift you ever gave it would be your presence; and no that doesn’t make you sound conceited, hell look at what you’ve done, the idea that you can even show up for your own life is a miracle. It might be the best thing, and it’s already the worst, but that’s a conversation for Inspector Echo, showing up for a girl, what a test of courage that was. Now that’s a gift you should give yourself, COURAGE, and what men have been known to do in the name of some girl but what about the man in the mirror, next six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 50 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Edit At Least One More Chapter Of My Novel
4. I Will Complete 100% Of VLAD
5. I Will Post A Review
6. I Will Find Something That Makes Me Courageous

You always find a bit of courage for a few seconds at work, why can’t you hold on to it though, or maybe it’s not so much courage but “Will” and that’s always been the question, holding onto yourself and remember that no Fap rule would you. Maybe that’s the thing, everything you want to give shouldn’t be wrapped or is already, and so you never learned how but what is that thing you have to give at the end?

No you wouldn’t say anything as cheesy as “It’s Only Love” and you’re not that wise, and courage is yours, and never surrender any power and as far as everything else; Never Learned To Wrap.

I Will Have No Fear

Glad There’s Two Galahad Suns

The space race is it about the journey or the destination, if anything half the time I didn’t know where it was all going and that’s what kept me there, even if it took awhile, but that was more my fault than the author. Glad There’s Two Galahad Suns

There could be possibly more, but honestly, I barely got through the first one and by no means was it bad… pretty long but not the worst thing I’ve ever read but then again not the best either. The novel Galahad Suns meant to be a space odyssey, but it’s a bit odd to me, some of that being my fault because it took me so long to read it and I’ve read way longer but am I so busy?

Don’t expect delusions of grandeur like for Star Wars or Star Trek, it’s more like an episode of Cowboy Bebop or Firefly and shouldn’t that be considered high praise that Galahad Suns written by David Kimberley is comparable with such works of art? If you want to know one secret between judging a good book and a bad book, ask yourself, a straightforward question “what happens next” if you have to answer with the question of “do I care” well I answered that one with yes but I also have other reasons. Every person in the universe has a purpose, and for Davian Kurcher it’s simple, the man wants to collect a paycheck, a bounty.

The author honestly had to get this out, and when I was reading it was like I too was in space, plenty of black with a shining star here or there, and when you put it all together, you only have to ask yourself what’s it all for truthfully. Speaking of stars if you’re curious I’m giving it three, blame me for being a stickler on time, some books are too brief, some are pretty dang long, some are “just right,” and if the book hooks you I mean genuinely hooks you, it doesn’t matter. Which is another thing about this title, what catches you and what do you read and okay get me to the next planet or the next big moment so I can keep reading this epic?

Well probably not epic but I was highlighting like crazy trying to keep up, and I appreciate the author having a list of characters and alliances and such because I was taking off for days especially at the beginning but it does pick up. Again I think on incredible space adventures, a person can watch Star Wars and get the story, read the books get more, watch the cartoons more, study the folklore and maybe I just wasn’t ready for so much all at once.

Now while I’m making comparisons between other things I don’t think I have ever seen this story done, an original plot which is one of those stars this book is keeping, the concept has been done, but I can’t remember the plot anywhere else. Long story short Davian Kurcher and a band of misfits save the universe but they are going to take a long time getting there, and while I usually give myself an hour and a half daily, my phone is calling me.

So Kurcher is an enlister or executioner, even you sign up or you drop dead, he along with his copilot Justyne Frost are just doing what they do, hunting people down and then Kurcher has to do some enlisting with the worse scum of the galaxy. Kurcher is more of an anti-hero if you consider the fact that he instead shoots first and he happens to be a drug addict, but nobody’s perfect. Frost does get pretty close though, if I were going to fall in love with anybody in this book it would be her, not to mention I always need a bit of a love story a bit of sex in-between all the action, from the front page to last at different paces.

As for everyone else, maybe a hero here or there but for the most part everyone is a killer, almost like The Purge, sure some commit another crime here or there but yeah pretty much all criminals when it comes to a disregard of human life. Also, there is plenty of equal opportunities when it comes to all the outlaws and the military, the author must like strong women, and probably the worse two men out of the lot get what they richly deserve. Don’t worry I’m not giving anything away yet; I don’t know if it were too much or too little and didn’t I say that this was a long book and once you get started… writing, not reading, you get too comfortable; I did decide to sleep rather than continue one time.

The characters are alive as much as they need be because if you had to go over every single individual, I probably wouldn’t have finished it unless there was a side story between Frost and Tara Oakley who had a similar issue in mind. I can’t say there is one character I truly related to but other than my love for Frost, I did like Edlan Rane, he was the smartest guy in the room, but you’ll have to read to find out the reason.

So is three stars worth the read though, in this case, if you’re entirely into sci-fi which I’m not I’m afraid, at least not reading it, or this particular brand. Anyway sci-fi fans, people who like research but want to relax too, maybe you want a touch of some old familiar show perhaps. Now here comes the spoiler alert because it had its moments but if I knew this had a sequel, I would undoubtedly have to have nothing on my reading list, or it would have to be something shorter than this I think.

First and foremost and anyone who knows me saw this coming Justyne Frost and Sieren Broekow, those moments were few and far out, but if they had their own story, I would have read it for sure. Saul Winter working from the shadows was another plus for me, while I didn’t much care for his allegiances the single aspect of his life was something I could do in such a universe as the author paints. The final battle, how I enjoy an epic showdown, that was one of the moments I felt myself becoming part of the story, and even when I knew it was coming, I wanted more. How the ship itself being this incredible weapon, which was Titan A.E. meets Star Wars, which is again high praise indeed.

Now while the beginning of the novel was decent I felt like I was slogging through, maybe I was tired with work and all, as I said I was taking days off reading this because there weren’t any mesmerizing moments. I compare the whole process to building a rocket, research you’re learning so much and just when you’re about to have enough, you get an aha moment, and you keep going. Nothing horrible about the title at all and the ending is good but not even that interest me enough to go looking for the next one let’s say if I got it for another honest review I wouldn’t say no, I wholly believe that.

So I wish on three stars that my novels could come out to such, that this author will gain even more praise with another title and maybe we’ll get a story with one of the criminals “crims,” more Tara Oakley would be excellent. For now, though I’ll keep my feet planted firmly on the ground and dream of stars and women that fall from the Heavens as I find myself Glad There’s Two Galahad Suns.

Lesson 301 ~No More Heroes Anymore~

I’m no hero, but at the same time I don’t want to be just cannon fodder, and for sure I’m not Atlas trying to carry the whole world, but maybe somebody should tell that to my e-mail account or the guy wanting me to donate. No More Heroes Anymore

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Lesson 301 ~No More Heroes Anymore~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Fine Today, and in other news, I don’t need to be saved either and don’t worry I’m not about to turn all religious on you. Honestly, we wouldn’t have so many heroes if that was the case. Why don’t we ask ourselves why we need so many heroes and I answer, it’s because the world is just one big mess and yet we tell everyone to do their part, but look at all the charities, the programs, the ideology.

Hell you might as well call me a Republican, but then again I didn’t donate to babies when I was at the store today, and sure I didn’t want to but say I did, what about the puppies, what about housing, and there is always disease. There was this man today that called me “rabbi,” seriously I’m not religious, and this guy, just another black guy trying to make it in the world who only wanted to talk, maybe he needed a friend. Don’t get me started on friendship; you know “Cherry” can be draining, people talk about enemies but it’s your friends Lu that take it all, and no I don’t mean like that.

“I got enemies, got a lotta enemies
Got a lotta people tryna drain me of my energy.”
Drake ― Energy

How about the girl I saw today while I was shopping, beautiful and all but I didn’t want to mess up her day; another reason I’m not a hero, I lack courage, and to a villain, it wouldn’t have mattered. You see every person on Earth is their world, trying to save themselves, some find by helping others they indeed accomplish this, but that ain’t everybody though they continue to say that thinking of yourself is selfish. Personally and I’ve said it before, I don’t want to be the hero, and I feel so horrible saying that, I feel selfish, every day we are inundated with cries for help, justice, and those that can try.

“Nothing in the world is the way it oughta be. It’s harsh and cruel, but that’s why there’s us: champions. Doesn’t matter where we come from, what we’ve done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world were as it should be, to show it what it can be. You’re not a part of that yet. I hope you will be.” Deep Down

Maybe I’m just feeling overwhelmed at the moment as again I live “my” life not for myself but others, and when I do rest, I feel like I’ve wasted a day. I do it out of love for my dog, the needs of my job, the fear of my father, and the lives of my friends. The problem with being a hero is they only get to see the bad, and with victory comes no meaning, and at the very least a villain understands what he does, don’t I know.

Villains and tragedy give heroes purpose, and I have enough of the bad, but no matter what I say I only need one hero and that’s me, the rest of the world has plenty fighting to keep it going, so let them be strong, I’ll say No More Heroes Anymore.

“You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” The Dark Knight (2008)

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 300 ~I Hope They Remember~

What’s the last story I consider timeless, the story I can reread, and it doesn’t break my heart, or I make me all sorts of anxious before it gets to the good stuff, which one can I quote all day? “I Hope They Remember.”

Friday, April 27, 2018

Lesson 300 ~I Hope They Remember~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Fine Today because I remember… I was thinking of a new rule “Good Stories Are Worth Retelling,” but that’s not true at all or at least it’s less true than “History Is Written By The Victors” I still hate that saying. So the lesson today is what stories would you like retold, remembered, reimagined, and please excuse my alliteration but that’s just another thing I wish I could forget but that seems impossible honestly.

Much like forgetting what I watched last night… I won’t say what because I don’t want to spoil it but even when you don’t care it’s just, I know something you don’t know and you know I am no one for secrets. Part of the reason I am a writer is that I want people to know and in the end, remember me, but there are so many stories of who I am I don’t know which one is true anymore. Did I tell you I finished my book and I’m nowhere near done even editing the first chapter and the ending, don’t get me started on endings today shouldn’t I be focused on beginnings?

Anyway as far as stories retold, hell Lady Sophia do you want a list, it would be pretty short, and the Bible didn’t make it, hell I’ve never gotten through the whole thing, every single book. Now there are plenty of books worth remembering but again if anything I want to remember me, remember the man that isn’t me in my words, or give them something to remember because the man I am was never wanted. As far as reimagined, that takes me to last night, can’t say what I was expecting, but I wanted to know it for myself.

I don’t think any story is the same for any person, so that means there has to be someone out there, out of seven billion people or so that will do what… like my story, remember that I’m only human. As I was telling “Indiana Gone” this morning, I might stand a chance as a teacher, on how not to do something but don’t look to me for any guidance.

Then again tell me to stop highlighting every single thing in a book, trying to find some real reason, like the review that I might write today, but of course, I won’t post it quite yet because for right now Sophia I Hope They Remember.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 299 ~Deaf Of King Midas~

When it comes to the perfect woman how long until you get to the lips, something I might have to ask Real Doll right but then again, I’m into scream queens if you know what I mean between kisses. “Deaf of King Midas,” while I hear a bit too much

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Lesson 299 ~Deaf Of King Midas~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today because all that glitters is not gold and if I had enough of that I’m sure I would have quite the scream queen, oh yes Dirty Diana I do like a screamer, a moaner, and a crier. At the same time though any girl; any submissive that I was with would also need to understand the value of silence and the power that silence holds.

I’m not just talking about non-disclosure agreement (NDA) or fucking in public; speaking of which, they shut Backpage down… don’t ask me how I know or why I care, haven’t I said I’m a traditionalist, I wouldn’t pay for sex, okay maybe in Nevada for “the day.” You should also know I’m not one to kiss and tell, hell first I would need a “Wishing Well” because when’s the last time I asked some girl “Can We Talk” and yet I’m so bold sexually right? Cherry and I were talking the other day about what people did before there was language, *sigh* to return to nothing more than a man’s primal nature but in all facets of my life nowadays, it’s a crime to be silent.

Is that why my fantasies these days have been about how to make people shut up; like one is about a girl who is always talking badly about herself, she even brought up grey hairs which wouldn’t matter much if I was pulling them off while she blew me. Yesterday another girl was upset I wasn’t paying her attention and since we have talked about her having blowjob lips, well here come the pictures. I even told another girl that’s busy texting or otherwise on the phone in her car, she’s lucky she isn’t mine because I would find a way to shut her up.

Isn’t it strange that I don’t have a ball gag for those times might dick might be engaged elsewhere; something else I may need if I ever start building the “Black Room” that I desire. No secrets between us right and today is full of secrets with “Avengers: Infinity War” coming out, for all the respect I have for intelligent and smart mouth chicks here or there, what I wouldn’t give to have Black Widow’s or Shuri’s lips occupied.

Even with that image, silence is golden, I’ve kept it in my pants, and you know me and my dirty talk, but for now, Dirty Diana things are quiet for the Deaf Of King Midas.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 298 ~Time Enough At Last~

Why stand there taking up space; I get road rage just standing in line and perhaps one of my fears is that everyone feels, the same way and I don’t want anyone feeling that way. “Time Enough At Last,” to relax maybe

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Lesson 298 ~Time Enough At Last~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today though I wish I could remember a time that I was, a time I could stop and smell the roses, sometime when I didn’t feel I was running for my life, trying to catch up or rushing things because there is so little time left. How often have I said, the world will end in five minutes, and I have to make it until then, again and again, it becomes incredibly exhausting.

For instance, people falling in love at first sight, it works for dogs, I loved my dog since the moment his paws hit the ground, and I immediately wanted to protect him from the world, can’t say they about any girl and nor should you. Don’t get me wrong Inspector Echo I’m not that much of an idiot… any more and that’s quite a long story but no time. I have too much to apologize for today, I’m not taking the time to live or even wanting to, I want to survive, and I especially don’t have time to figure out how I’ll get that done in the long run.

“I just want to wake up with more time on my hand than hours in the day.” In Time (2011)

Everyday Inspector Echo I feel like I’m getting in the way and I don’t even have time to say I’m sorry, did you ever wonder why I never go anywhere taking the highway, how I have to fly to visit a friend rather than drive because I’d get lost forever. I’m the guy that practices what to say before he goes through the drive-thru, who can’t do anything but stand in line honestly, and then I’m lazy as hell when it comes to sleep. Now I’m not in love with any girl, but I don’t lie, I speak in a certain way, I rush because most guys that can get girls don’t have to talk and I’m a regular Howard Wolowitz, I say whatever stupidly.

And I also apologize for wasting my time apologizing on top of dreaming up revenge or wallowing in misery, I’m sorry every day must fill up with something, and then I can do nothing but waste it, even today, how far have I got in editing my book? To think I hope they never build a time machine or if they do, that the “The Langoliers,” won’t be far behind; why do I need to go back, this sounds familiar.

Doesn’t make me any less sorry though and maybe with enough money, power, or maybe love there will be one day, Time Enough At Last.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 297 ~I’m A Wanted Man~

Do I love too much for having no one to “love,” well anyone with two legs that is; of course I love my dog like pancakes because he wanted my waffles but that’s a long story. I’m A Wanted Man but for all the wrong reasons that I know sadly.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Lesson 297 ~I’m A Wanted Man~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today or more like I didn’t receive a fine today, thankfully I don’t need bail, and yet here I stand wanted, needed, and loved, the only “Wanted” poster I see is the man staring back at me in the mirror. A man captured by his love and I’m guilty as charged, never let me go, throw away the key, though you won’t hear me calling you the ball and chain, as the song goes “What’s My Age Again?”

I’m not one to compare you to a summer’s day either though I’m sure you’ve heard enough of my romantic quips and my smartphone is a constant source of inspiration such as “I Want You To Want Me.” I want to know a want like putting the phone on shuffle and waiting for that all too perfect song to pop up on Spotify, and you can’t help but dance and sing. You know maybe how I am on a Sunday when I’m watching The Walking Dead/Fear The Walking Dead, “Into The Badlands,” and “Westworld” all rolled into one. An addiction like looking up something on YouTube and getting trapped in a stream of dog videos and reactions to shows, talk about “Let’s Get Lost” and we will be but speaking of wants for some reason I want regular TV too, does that make me weird.

Just like I want to be the last thing on your mind when you go to bed, I want to be like a story you tell yourself to help you sleep, as I would once replay Far Cry 5 or Saints Row in my head I want to be your “Escape.” Hell, I want you to be my Anastasia Steele… what too soon, I mean my Anastasia meets Abraham Ford, let’s make some pancakes one day. I want those pancakes to wake me up in the morning and what is it I always say, I love my dog like pancakes, my first born and all.

“When you were, uh, pouring the Bisquick, were you trying to make pancakes?” Abraham Ford

I promise no jokes about women wanting everything and don’t they say “All You Need Is Love” thing is that isn’t a choice, and while I want that too, every day I want to choose us. If this heart has its say I will because I want you, need you, believe, have hope, and many things in-between like the air.

Do I want too much, if wanting such love is a crime then guess what love? I’m A Wanted Man.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 296 ~Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat~

Heaven, Elysium, Home, just give me a room with wi-fi, sunlight, and a place for my dog and I think I’ll be comfortable right here but what was it that Luther Vandross said about a house; one day I’m going to be an old man. Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat

Monday, April 23, 2018

Lesson 296 ~Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat~

Twenty-Ninth Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today because this isn’t Heaven, I wouldn’t even call it home, it’s comfort, security, privacy, the place my family sent me because any mental institution by any name is still just that. Excuse me though for the craziness I’ve been staring at blank white pages for days on end when I think of Heaven though, honestly other than my women Heaven to me would be more like the set of some seedy porno I must admit.

“If a man expects a woman to be an angel, he must create Heaven for her, angels don’t live in Hell” ― an unknown source

I first read this from some meme, and since I am somewhat of a traditionalist, I think this rings slightly right, a man is supposed to have a place, something about a man has a house and a woman makes it a home. Another way to see it is the things men do to reach women, that’s just what it is from the first girl waiting in the tallest tower, to the man who said, “you are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky,” from every song about angels. Anytime I’ve called a girl “angel” let’s say that I had quite high aspirations; the point is that men have always been expected to climb, to rise, to be the best and women… it’s so confusing on the one hand we place them on pedestals, make them the end all be all and then have to climb higher, I’m just saying.

“And hey, I love women. They’re beautiful, majestic, mysterious, mesmerizing creatures. Smart, empathetic, far superior to men in every way. And if I had a choice, I would be with women to my dying day.” ― Friends With Benefits (2011)

Now I also look at this rule regarding death… bring on the depression, but you don’t want to outlive those you love, it’s why children/furbabies passing is such a loss, I’m not a man of faith, but you go to prepare a place for them, not to watch them pass you. Remember last week’s rule; you let your enemies beat you to Hell, you outrun your loved ones to Heaven, that’s just how it goes. So I got a house, perfect if there was a family, three bedrooms, two and a half baths, two cars and no woman and maybe that tells me that Hell doesn’t lie without but more within oneself, don’t you think?

“So, uh, where you headed?

Heaven, baby.
Do you wanna go?

Maybe.” Never Die Alone

That’s just like me though; I have my shining armor always, ask my maid, I clean the castle before she shows up to do that, another girl can tell you, I’ll go and buy food, only to have pasta on the stove too. Aren’t I the Devil looking to get back into Heaven and maybe one day I will know peace but for now who’s early and who’s late *sigh* Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 295 ~Happily Editing After Right~

Whatever will I do with myself tomorrow… editing sounds so much harder than writing, but now it’s time to start living again maybe; didn’t take me the whole month to finish but decisions, decisions. Happily Editing Ever After

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Lesson 295 ~Happily Editing After Right~

To Will:
I Am Not Fine Today though you might have been once upon a time as they say and this just isn’t a story thing it’s life; you feel like it maybe you’re in a state of Mania if you’re honest. You go from the excitement of being so close to the end of the novel, a little over a thousand words left to go and then a depression over is this honestly how April is passing? How about the fact that your hours at work are down so dramatically but at the same time, there is more time to write, to edit; and how many novels have you gone through, I’m just saying.

What about outside of writing, so many things are coming up “Fear The Walking Dead,” “Into The Badlands,” and “Westworld” I guess you won’t be watching much YouTube for a while except to catch some reactions am I right? I’d say you deserve some time off and think about it if all goes well in May, you could be holding your book, not the novel because that’s not happening but poetry without that dreaded fifty-thousand-word cap? The world will start turning again soon enough, and then you can begin work on these six impossible things right because let’s see hmm:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 36 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 43 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Partial Completion (Yard’s A Mess, Nails Trimmed But Paw Got Caught In His Collar)
3. I Will Find Out What My Book Is About
Completed
4. I Will Complete 50% of VLAD
Failed
5. I Will Post A Review
Failed
6. I Will Write My Book
Completed (Just Over A Thousand Words The End)

At the moment though you’re hurting, woke up late today trying to work out an ending, the dog wants all the attention you can give him, getting his paw stuck again doesn’t count, it’s time for a new groomer because PetSmart sucks. Today is dull because anything left of creativity has been thrown into your story and even now, getting back to the grindstone sounds exhausting. You’re going to make it though because that is what you do and it’s not even three thousand words today just a thousand one hundred, not a challenge but then again six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 43 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves (Cut The Yard? Find A Pet Groomer)
3. I Will Not Trash My New Novel
4. I Will Complete 50% of VLAD
5. I Will Post A Review
6. I Will Finish My Book

You honestly need to break the habit of writing out the problem (Novel) and not to seek out the answer (Editing) nobody knows your work nowhere near as you. The day job wants to keep you a “slave to the rhythm,” but this isn’t loving, not sure what it is exactly. All you know is once upon a time there was something else, and it might have been better than this feeling but to find it again you have to discover, Happily Editing After Right?

I Will Have No Fear