Month: September 2018

Episode 082 ~Willie This Tale Again~

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The I got sick at work excuse or I’ll work something out because I can’t talk to a bank teller, how about the one that I was high on an energy drink and found something more crucial to do huh. Willie This Tale Again

Friday, September 21, 2018

Episode 082 ~Willie This Tale Again~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How to make One Million Dollars and it’s not with writing excuses and sad to say I can’t promise you even today that I won’t have a few more for you, they usually come without warning as it was today yet again.

I swear my breakfast or even something so simple as a bag of chips should come with one of those caution stickers like on the side of a pack of cigarettes, may cause sickness when eating around people. A lesson from childhood, I usually ate lunch all alone, or I didn’t eat at all and yet somehow or another I never had my lunch money stolen, my game boy, a dozen G. I. JOE Toys, my dignity but never food funds. Speaking of which that’s what inspired me today, or yesterday honestly, I can write about plenty of things that have happened, I have fiction, but what about the stuff I’ve never done out of FEAR yeah shocking Lady Sophia.

If I’m going to go into confessions I should probably speak to Inspector Echo am I right but only one today *ahem* I’ve never made a transaction with a drive-thru teller; am I supposed to take a drink now, 5-hour ENERGY is my drug of choice, but I still blame the chips. Anyway you know why I haven’t, FEAR is always my go-to excuse, I am afraid, and maybe that should be my new daily quotation, I’ve nearly written a year’s worth of rules seriously.

Hell, I need to be real and being awake is that, considering I have nearly finished Church by Stylo Fantome and I’m talking to you now, how many times have I said that 5-hour ENERGY does its job and I can only hope to do something a quarter as excellent and helpful. Again I need to consider either writing all the reasons I’m a writer or everything that I’m afraid of, and can I honestly find another year’s worth or how about methods of obtaining that million, this month is nearly gone and I’m no closer. Alice Little doesn’t have to wait for any man and what about Detroit: Become Human, I haven’t mentioned that in a while *sigh* Markus and North, Kara and Luther.

For now, I should focus on my story oh yeah and how many reviews should I write again and at least lazy is better off than FEAR because you know the truth my dear Lady Sophia, Willie This Tale Again.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 081 ~Ring A Ding Will~

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A woman can help a man find his bravery but don’t mistake stupidity for courage and my how I feel stupid at the moment even with a clear head, but strangely I’m the richer for it even when I picked up the phone and dialed. Ring A Ding Will.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Episode 081 ~Ring A Ding Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How to make One Million Dollars, well first off let me say how happy I am that porn is free or maybe not considering time is valuable and how much have I wasted this week… I should enjoy the clarity while it last. How I’m going to miss that killer instinct though, maybe I shouldn’t say that considering the world we live in, save that for Isaku, Church by Stylo Fantome, and a Playboy subscription, okay so I’m a hypocrite sadly.

I would choose to be a hypocrite than a failure as Mr. Trump can attest to but despite it all, he managed to score Stormy Daniels and please don’t ask me where my hot blonde is but I know I’m serious when I find the courage to pick up the phone and start dialing. Dirty Diana, I tell you that I am dead serious when I’m in my kitchen and a woman texts, and we’re talking about food, and she says burgers are good, but I’ll give you a blow job for your shrimp pasta, and then both are sitting on the table. You know I’m not giving up when I have a closet full of outfits that I sure as Hell ain’t wearing because someday soon I’m going to have some submissive with voluptuous tits, or amazing legs… it was her legs that made me break today honestly.

As you can see I’m “trying” to be all sorts of positive because I broke today but better to do that than to do what I was planning but who knows what will happen when I go shopping today, one of the reasons to like Halloween, wigs, collars, slutty outfits. What, people are already gearing up for Christmas, and I could go all into Dear Future Wife mode, but right now it’s not my heart that concerns me, something else has to get back up along with the rest of me. You know Tony Montana has it right, and I’m still getting it backward, however Dirty Diana when I make my New Year’s Resolutions, one is always, to either have a new woman in my bed for the month or a steady supply of sex.

That’s why I’m up now… on my feet getting back in the ring because come tomorrow, hell some hours from now I’ll be a mess, that is unless I honestly am the man Dirty Diana, somebody knows that I’m the man *sigh* Ring A Ding Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 080 ~Judas Owes Will Silver~

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Am I not worthy of the gold, I am but there is so much work, I should probably get into my motivational listening again and fill like a winner or worse the one who is cheating myself out of everything? Judas Owes Will Silver.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Episode 080 ~Judas Owes Will Silver~

Forgive Me Echo,
How to make One Million Dollars out of silver and I did attempt to look that up, and then I got somewhat depressed, but you would figure this is something I should know considering I’m always second place. Not a current sin Inspector Echo, back when I was in middle school, I had this “friend” a football jock, son of a preacher man, black kid, and we would always play Mario Kart… he would win consistently or would I let him win?

“Okay,” asked me once do I fear success and when it comes to my writing or getting her into bed the answer is no, I’m lazy pretty much, considering we’re talking now and not two and a half hours ago. I was playing The Walking Dead No Man’s Land, and it’s all about getting more stars than the other guy, I wish I had such a killer instinct a long time ago because I’m grinding wanting to win. My biggest sin though today and perhaps this whole week, hell a few months is why am I not “trying” harder, how I hate that word, and I’m not going to go all Star Wars right now.

You see the person I am guilty of betraying here is myself; I won’t go all religious either since I never swore allegiance to any god… okay, once but I worked in a Christian bookstore and went through a good book phase. I mostly settle for second circle sins (guess I am going a bit religious) LUST for those paying attention and I end up committing ninth circle atrocities, that’s TREACHERY, can you tell I lived in an AME household? Now I could talk about SLOTH which is one of the seven deadly sins but honestly, there was a sin with silver that frankly shows the beast I am, most of my best work this week is slain by it.

Should I be more specific… I could but I won’t which again shows my shame so if I’m adding them all up, the willingness to remain second because of friends, laziness, and indeed lust as well, at least Judas got paid to betray the son of God. May you forgive me my Inspector Echo, for being weighed down my thirty pieces of silver, well one hundred and ten if you count the downloads Monday, and still I want more but you only get that by striving to be no.1, but *sigh* Judas Owes Will Silver.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 079 ~Will To Be Selfish~

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Possession, love can make us do some incredible things, right or horrible, “Stuff And Thangs” as Rick Grimes would put it and indeed it brings us back to life in some ways at least *cough* Life Itself. Will To Be Selfish

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Episode 079 ~Will To Be Selfish~

Dear Future Wife,
How to make One Million Dollars though I’m not sure that my organs are worth that much… don’t turn all squeamish on me now, though if you ever mention Pig Feet or Chitterlings I’ll want a divorce, same if you ever say Roll Tide or War Eagle. Not that Alabama is forever, and as long as we’re together it doesn’t even matter honestly, though I’m looking at Nevada, California, and for some reason New York but you know I hate being cold, another reason I want you all to myself, my love.

“I love you… but I may not be equipped to be loved this much.” Life Itself (2018) Abby, Olivia Wilde

Professional Wrestling is an acceptable sport, right behind the Olympics and Martial Arts competitions “The Karate Kid,” “Cobra Kai,” “Best of The Best” and don’t get me started on my fixation with Kung-Fu, but I’m in a “Life Itself” state of mine FUCK… what they said it a bunch. Anyway so back to wrestling or more like reality TV “Total Bellas” when Nikki’s family was always telling John Cena to compromise, but they didn’t know what that meant, it doesn’t mean surrender, nor submission, or sacrifice. Which brings my point because I believe love is a sacrifice, but when two people love each other, when they give everything of themselves leaving nothing it should feel like you have everything you’ll ever need and even more.

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” The Princess Bride (1987)

I think I’ve told you this before and I know that I can be a bit much to handle that’s why I admire your strength so much, Beauty & the Beast, do you know how incredible she had to be, to fight so hard, and loved even harder, the way that I love you. It can be scary; I keep thinking about when we first met, what did I have to give, and Suddenly I have smiles to give away, and what did I say about cold and now my arms are around you, and is that my hoody? Strange the times I want to cover you up, and then I want to show you off, but you’re all mine… beast, yeah I’m like your shadow, a ghost that haunts you, a zombie and dare I say you’re the prettiest necromancer I have ever seen.

“I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid of anything.”

“I’m only alive when you’re inside me.” Angel “Waiting In The Wings”

Only one fucking demon, is it Halloween yet; yeah, I’m going to have some old white lady screaming at me like that poor studio guy at the screening last night, but as I heard once, it’s a disease this thing called love, a confession, a belief. It transcends everything baby girl, even my words and my phone *gasps*, and I do want to be hoarded, kept away, lost to everything, and so I ask this important question, do you have, the Will To Be Selfish.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 078 ~Find People Worth Suffering For~

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Today’s word is ow, I should probably say sin, sacrifice, and suffering but yes pain encompasses all that, and I’m not suffering for anyone but me and who the Hell am I honestly? Find People Worth Suffering For

Monday, September 17, 2018

Episode 078 ~Find People Worth Suffering For~

Fiftieth Rule Madam Justice

How to make One Million Dollars, or is he, she, or it worth that much honestly but haven’t we already covered my little boy with Rule Twenty-Four Be Who My Dog Deserves, which was also Lesson 261 I’m just saying.

Now sure I want plenty of things and there was a time I spent afternoons at the track for horse racing, and then I fell into Blackjack, Poker is a bit more complicated but speaking of which I’m sure I’ve told you about the Blackjack Scale I use when it comes to people… Anyway this morning I was thinking about The Purge and The V Games from “Ven” by Ker Dukey and K Webster, and it’s a tossup between what I would do to protect another person over what I would do for let’s say revenge. Either way, people bring about sin, sacrifice, and yes suffering and while I would go through Hell for a laugh what would I do for another’s happiness, in the end, be the joke *sigh*?

I look back at some of my poetry, and I can see that while in one way I so wish to honor women, I do the exact opposite, but still, those words were hours off my life, things better left unsaid perhaps but women are always talking about a man’s time. Hell Madam Justice, the time I have spent doing things this morning, I’m not proud of, but like most of my gender I am an idiot and believe you me every day I’m Hustlin’. Nah the keyword is suffering.

So what makes a person worth suffering for; as I clued in “Indiana Gone” a friend is a girl you haven’t slept with yet or a guy willing to throw punches in your defense and as always I’ve avoided doing any fighting. Hatred is suffering, but so is love, so the real question is which hurts more, and I answer love but what person do I love, does need even count, I hope not. If I’m breaking this rule by not searching for somebody to like, is there anyone out there looking for me, and I’m sure the Christians would say Jesus, but you do know you’re talking to someone skilled in all manners of Torture Methodology Dear Madam Justice.

Of course, I have no problem finding people to hate, but that fire, while it burns, is but a candle for today because what will I be doing after this… suffering still especially if I plan on going to the movies tonight; what might happen, Find People Worth Suffering For

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 077 ~A Well Written Check~

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Already I know this is not my best work, I’m sure the first time I wrote this out I said something profound and inspirational but no, as with my goal of having a million dollars I’m just signing my name and handing this off. A Well Written Check

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Episode 077 ~A Well Written Check~

To Will:
How to make One Million Dollars, well to start I definitely would not be talking to you again; one conversation a week right and as much as I want to blame Grammarly, we can chalk this one up to human error, yeah such stupidity, so do I condemn you or me? Well if anything the point of the story is to save, as I said before *sigh* I knew you wouldn’t forget about the concept that I came up with last night which is merely by this time next year you are going to be a millionaire right?

That’s right, and here you are unable to save your work, to write you need to bleed, and these pages are the bandages, and here you are reopening the wound that you already cleansed, what more of a definition of self-harm is there? How about going to the day job you hate, how the General Manager would love to hear you say that, it would give him more of an excuse to fire you but keep thinking about this time, where will you be? I know I said something about Carl Johnson (CJ) and “hardcore gangster shit!” that kept me sane when dealing with Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest and I could use some tunes right now or more YouTube virus watching (actually watching fictional diseases), but you know Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. “I Will” Review “The Art Of Peace”
Failed
4. I Will Eat A Bowl Of Cereal Every Day Before Leaving Here
Failed
5. I Will Finish “Ven” by Ker Dukey and K. Webster
Completed
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush” (Novel)
Failed

I know this is not what you needed to hear again, the same failures reiterated twice but hell considering how much time you wasted today… does Karma work when the only person you’re hurting is yourself? Yeah besides sleeping what did you do today, you said something else about “Stuff And Thangs” Pinterest boards this, edging away to actresses that, and that you need better role models other than zombie killers, and GTA gangsters to be sure. Too bad you still haven’t come up with an idea to make that million you’re going to make within eleven months and some change, though this only popped into my head last night with these Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. “I Will” Review “The Art Of Peace”
4. I Will Eat Breakfast Every Day
5. I Will Finish “Church.” By Stylo Fantome
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”

Yeah, this week is off to a fantastic start, but already you’re proving you’re lazy as how long did this conversation take before but you are experiencing firsthand what rage can do to a person and if you can keep this same fire about everything you do this week? Find a pretty girl to call you skeevy, talk about opening the wound again or find four black men to piss you off but The Man Right “Chea” is doing fine isn’t that right, with a 17.5 F someday maybe you’ll have, A Well Written Check.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 076 ~Will Etch In Stone~

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A hot day today or is that me being sick, maybe my anger was burning my brain giving me fever dreams of making a lot of money, a million dollars to be exact and I’ll have a few days to think on that, give myself ideas. “Will Etch In Stone.”

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Episode 076 ~Will Etch In Stone~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason not to believe it other than the fact that Bruce Lee said “be like water” and that can break down a stone, and in one way I’m attempting to erase bad habits, at the same time, I want to mean what I say. So what is it that I mean to say, a part of me knows it’s a stupid thought with all my broken resolutions, the fact that I can’t ever seem to accomplish my six impossible things, I fell asleep sitting here but before I see “The Day” again, I’m going to make One Million Dollars.

Now I’m sure Lady Lu that by tomorrow I’ll probably have forgotten about this, but today at work it suddenly came to me, by next year I’ll be a millionaire, that’s it, no more, no less. When I was a child I thought, that all it would take is two hundred dollars and all my problems would be solved, well congrats, I’m sitting on a thousand dollars, all part of my Alamo Fund. Am I beginning to turn around perhaps, instead of planning how to die, planning how to live and not day by day but in the long run? Hell, I’m still attempting to get through this day’s sickness.

Considering I didn’t have to deal with Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest, and the general manager stayed out of my face for the most part, so It Was A Good Day minus being sick, again thinking long term. An attempt to be healthy and what did it get me; I can’t let that stop me though, and this was the first time I tried to set a real time limit, then again why am I writing so late? If it helps I finished reading one more novel, that’s something else to put in stone, I’m a lifetime reader, I always get sick before work but when I eat it’s worse, and I keep thinking I’m going to make that money in a year and I have no idea how dear Lady Luna.

You take the first step, and that should be tomorrow, but it’s already late and if I were to take a chance at dinner, who knows if I’m getting over this sickness and my son isn’t doing too well either. As I told “Indiana Gone” when it rains it pours, if only sweat was falling like tears or the bottles of Sprite I’ve been downing like water all day today but yes I am working towards One Million Dollars this time next year, I shouldn’t forget, Will Etch In Stone.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 075 ~Big Names Excuse Will~

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The Man stands tall; he doesn’t have to say he’s big, grand, or as the song goes, gigantic, gigantic, but I have a big, big love if I ever paid my words any attention but like English class, I was busy writing excuses. Big Names Excuse Will

Friday, September 14, 2018

Episode 075 ~Big Names Excuse Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason not to make an excuse; my fifth-grade year of school, I damn near wrote a novel with them, considered it an elective, and it was my first shot at nonfiction… what, eye drops freaked me out, and afterward I forgot about homework. Is that why working from home has come back to bite me in the ass, and of course you ask, why don’t I go to the library today and I have excuses for that too. Need to preserve the car tires until I get new ones, how about the day job, or my little boy WAS sick a few days ago.

However, If I Had $1,000,000; I miss writing plans like that, of course, it was never how to get the money but what I would do once I had it and one of those things would be to give my son the best life ever. I was sitting in the car listening to my motivation playlist of course and the guy says, is it possible to have a million dollars in a year and just saying I thought there is no excuse I shouldn’t be a millionaire, more like a Billionaire. Why should I write even more explanations when I have my purpose WRITING and my why, My SON, REVENGE, POWER, maybe that’s the thing, my whys must outnumber all those things I can blame.

The big stories that seem so incredible, so “Legen-Wait For It… DARY!” that I do get discouraged, how I wish I was that smart, and make me question how they got away with it, 4 Years Trapped in My Mind Palace, Detroit: Become Human or Bible Black. Those names that I hope to be, strive to “date,” and titles I want as much as my name itself, Will Smith, Jennifer Lawrence, and while I should want to be me how about, author, husband, father. Oh Lady Sophia, what big dreams I have, to never worry about money again, to have that brothel. Maybe to get even with those that have done me wrong; yeah my anger doesn’t disappear overnight but how about this; never having to introduce myself, ever again.

My name has to be bigger; my word needs to be greater because now it’s sorry Benjamin Franklin, I have to hide you for a rainy day while I spend Washington and Lincoln. My apologies to the Fanning sisters, stick with my Pinterest, and Alice Little I dream of coming to the ranch someday, and yeah my son needs medication but Big Names Excuse Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 074 ~The Turncoat Has Will~

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From “The Day” to this past week, living all alone in America as a black man, okay sure I have my son but finding a good woman… okay, today is never about finding a good one, but sweet maybe, and so I’ve had to look elsewhere. “The Turncoat Has Will”

Thursday, September 13, 2018

Episode 074 ~The Turncoat Has Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to feel bad about it, as the song goes; we’re all the same color when we turn out the light, the thing is we’re all looking for that brightness be it a video camera, to be better than who we are or dare I call it love.

“White women don’t bring nothing but trouble.”

“That ain’t white women, but women.”

“That’s your women.” Save the Last Dance

Now before I get zealous, erudite, or racial let’s talk about Colors… of clothes that is because my battle standard is usually black and red, I’ll let Wiz Khalifa do Black And Yellow, though if we were talking a girl in a little black dress or yellow sundress… I’ve found that I like bright colors on women just as you’ll usually see me in black, anything to mix with darkness which seems to be the underlying theme, black and white, salt and pepper and take for example women like Zoe Kravitz and Alicia Keys. To quote another song, I got sunshine, on a cloudy day; now I could go on and on about how I want a woman to dress, but that’s a long story; only a woman that matches me in black, a thought.

How about the whole blonde vs. brunette, I told “Okay” that brunettes always get me going but why; even more so if a woman can go back and forth, for example, this MILF I know or Andrea Logan White. How about Jennifer Lawrence but don’t get me wrong I have a thing for all kinds of hairstyles and colors from redheads to black hair so it must be something else. Still brunettes I mean damn.

Speaking of that or more Damnation as most people will think I’m wrong for this because this past week I’ve been fighting with black men but when it comes to black women I know two good ones, my mom and “Indiana Gone.” When I was young, I had maybe a “fetish” for Asian women, somewhat now, but I wouldn’t call it that anymore but I could see myself falling for such a woman. My idea though of being with a white woman, if anything it is only experience, the idea of repeating the same thing and expecting a different result, and when it comes to black vs. white though I am reluctant to use this word I find umm happiness.

Dressing is one thing, hair color, okay, but it has nothing to do with skin, black people have made it abundantly clear I’m not black enough, worthy of anything, one of them so yeah say You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ while wanting to fuck anyone else well yeah it’s a decision, The Turncoat Has Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 073 ~Rage Against The Will~

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This song says “love is the answer” but that will be true when there’s no one left to hate and on the day to day I find only hatred and no I ain’t scared of no sheet, no confederate flag, or swastika, no my enemy is my own. Rage Against The Will

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Episode 073 ~Rage Against The Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
Give Me One Reason not to because I have said before like the “Lord Of War” you can’t fight your biology; to think last week it was a crime that scared me to death and this week it’s a crime of death, and I am not afraid. Maybe I should be but I can’t, and that’s my first sin, the fact that I want this more than anything, my blood to boil, to burn, and indeed want to breathe, believe in RAGE.

Rage
Everywhere
I feel it
Can’t help it
It burns
Through my heart
And my soul

Rage
Consumes me
Every look
Every smile
I want it done
Tears
Don’t fall

Rage
The pain
Insane
I must be
Death
Theirs or mine
Don’t care

Rage
Such a
Misery (the poem RAGE)

Like sex it’s a biological imperative and especially in America a more socially acceptable one, nearly once a week it overcomes someone for one reason or another so what is that for me, you want to know, do you honestly, because none of them do. Every work day I have people coming up to me asking how I’m doing but today there was nothing, maybe they could sense it, I know I still do, and like sex, I know neither, sin, satiation, or satisfaction. So why do I feel this way… some say laughter is one great medicine and no I won’t sit here and say don’t laugh, hell Inspector Echo it’s my best form of camouflage, I type out LOL a dozen times minimum, I might indeed mean it, I even call myself Le Marquis De Joker on occasion…

And I would call it a plague
how this fever infects
me, I sweat

summoning up the blood
which can never assuage
the disgust, the dirt, my name is mud.

Better though, tears for fears,
than this need to purge, to clear.
I lock the monster in its cage

the white walls of the page.
A mad world of ink,
kink, mystique, doublethink

Don’t rage, rage (the poem Vial Rage)

“Oh yeah! I love jokes! I love all kinds of jokes. But you know what I don’t like? I don’t like people trying to kill me, hurting my family and my friends, and destroying the whole world as I know it. That just doesn’t sit well with me.” Toys (1992)

“If you ever loved me, don’t rob me of my hate. It’s all I have.” The Count of Monte Cristo

My second crime today is the fact that I have let this go on for too damn long, in the name of getting along, of professionalism, of attempting to be a decent human being, see I learned something today, these aren’t people I’m dealing with now. I swear I would make a great Neo-Nazi or KKK member because I was ready to scream… okay speaking of crimes, that might account for hate speech and nobody reads this anyway but again being reasonable. Lastly, when did this start, you know Inspector Echo I have no problem giving orders, but I am not an ignorant leader, and if there is one thing in this great big world I can’t stand it’s looking, feeling, and knowing, I’m STUPID.

Stupidity my greatest sin of all, so no Inspector Echo you don’t have to forgive me for my rage, no I’ll happily go to Hell for that, but I apologize for the time, for wanting these motherfucking moronic assholes to die (nothing racial there right) and for being so stupid, I Rage Against The Will.

“Dear Lord, Please forgive us for all the sins we have brought upon us. And look down upon us with forgiveness for the sins we will have in the future. I know you understand that niggas ain’t perfect, but we try lord. We try to keep our heads up in bad times. This is a bad time, show us the way. And if you can’t show us the way, then forgive us for being lost.” Sweet Pea, Baby Boy (2001)

I Will Have No Fear