Month: October 2018

Episode 113 ~Always Write The Truest Sentence~

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As the song goes, every day I write the book or NOT, I found out it’s too late to submit a short story for competition but still, it’s not only a goal to write, it’s my purpose if that is the truth. “Always Write The Truest Sentence.”

Monday, October 22, 2018

Episode 113 ~Always Write The Truest Sentence~

Fifty-Fifth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, is there a fairer sentence these days, the first words of a short story I still plan on writing, all those missed sentences I didn’t read at work as I signed my name, how about the death sentence I hope has known conclusion, somebody getting fired. The truth of the matter is that first sentence; if it doesn’t do what is needed then the last sentence doesn’t matter now does it, and when it comes to you and the others, the concept of making a million dollars is it.

It sounds a lot better than, I’m getting in her pants this way or that way; already I’m beginning to look like a hypocrite, but damn do you know everything that a million dollars could get done simply. When I was a child, it used to be what two-hundred dollars could do, and like my money my sentences have grown as well and again like my finances, this is not always a good thing. My money and my writing have to speak for me because more often than not when I talk out loud, it’s not the real me and you know I despise liars but take this as true; if anything I’m an artist.

“Artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie. But because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.” ― Alan Moore, V for Vendetta (Goodreads)

I can’t say I rightly know what people find out about themselves when they read my writing but for the majority, when I speak I find out they are shit human beings, of course, there are exceptions “Indiana Gone,” “Okay,” yeah I can’t even name a few I can be myself around. So am I Will, when I’m writing… now that would be terrifying, a guy that would rather be with machines than people, a sadistic photographer who does everything to his victims, a vengeful cult-leader? Who do I want to be tomorrow, hell who do I want to be from minute to minute, this is more a question for Lady Sophia, but I’m not going to get to my short story today am I.

Love The Way You Run, working title of course but now I’m stuck on writing the first sentence, but it’s more like the story I tell myself when I first leave work, what did the general manager say “read between the lines.” First there have to be lines, and then there are words and somewhere in all of that junk lies me and if only someone would care to look but the fact that I’m not writing means *sigh* I don’t want to be found; is that the truth or a lie dear Madam Justice, Always Write The Truest Sentence.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 112 ~Willie It’s Cold Outside~

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Last week I was too hot, this past week I was too cold, so when will I have a week when I’m just right, can’t say the people, precipitation, or my purpose are helping, considering I’m stuck in the day job, gratefully. “Willie, It’s Cold Outside”

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Episode 112 ~Willie It’s Cold Outside~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, cold hard cash as it were, I can’t say I have made any headway in such an endeavor but perhaps you may if work keeps being work and you find yourself stuck there. Isn’t that what we don’t want, a man of contradiction deciding between what needs to go out and what needs to stay in and the MILF isn’t helping though I steered clear of the porn… for the most part *cough* “Goblin Slayer” *cough* right.

If I’m not talking about that bit of hardness, how about what I think I did, I mean I still don’t know right, I reported “Dumbest” and this past week I haven’t seen him, I treat the day job like my life, and here I’ve gone and taken someone’s… possibly but good riddance. The world can be a cold, cruel, and complicated place, a lesson that must constantly know exploration, but you know better to go wishing on a star, hell with how you have worked today making up for my “shortcomings.” Should that go on the list, stop comparing everything to penis size, if it’s not all the pretty girls, it’s the dicks you work with and if I could have focused more on you know, Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 016 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Review Church. (Church #1) By Stylo Fantome
Completed
4. I Will Review “Under His Heel.” By Adara Wolf
Completed
5. I Will Finish Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
Completed
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”
Failed

A 67 D, and the only person getting it is me but what about you, no excuses but you have $400.00 in your wallet that is more than enough for the kid’s meds, a bath, and getting those nails clip; I gave up two off days to make more money; Treachery is the Ninth Circle of Hell you know. You have plenty to talk about with Inspector Echo and Dirty Diana, but of course, you’re stuck, frozen, fearful, and forgetful except to all that scares you, no wonder your character in the novel is known as a Dragon. Philosophy, one of the questions you will face is how to break the ice, that is without melting; pieces of you are okay, these Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 016 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
4. I Will Write A “Horror” Short-story
5. I Will Finish Depredation By Natalie Bennett
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”

You should probably review something else but when’s the last time you’ve had a clear inbox, hell there’s still one email from last year, we’re stuck with women on the brain, and again it’s not like you’re going anywhere you want this week. Better to stay bundled up when you can, harden your heart, which is the least of your sins, and follow my example of how to keep your pants on no matter the cosplayer, pornstar, English tart, or incredibly hot MILF, I mean seriously Willie It’s Cold Outside.

I Will Have No Fear

A Feat Under His Heel

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I wish I could have gotten up, not that I have to, my Kindle is full of books, but I had to take that first step to read this, and I could not stop, also another reason nobody saw me reading this book at work. A Feat Under His Heel, quite a challenge

One foot in front, that’s a step, perhaps being the bigger man, and even now I feel like I’m walking on eggshells because I was in no hurry to finish this story. However, don’t let that suggest my “great” endorsement of “Under His Heel” By Adara Wolf, I was more to the point of running away from it. For the record, I’m male, straight, and a dominant and while I have been reading the erotica genre for years, my review may be slanted and more critical, but if I can, I will focus more on the book itself but no promises, so here we go.

Other than being maybe the first “space” adventure I’ve read with a BDSM theme the plot isn’t anything new, to be honest, some guy gets into trouble, needs fast cash, and ends up in the service of a Captain Johannes Tracht, but of course, you can get that from the blurb. I didn’t find that the environment though served much for a change a pace, more like instead of keeping someone in a dungeon or some area, you keep them in dead space and what is it they say, no one can hear you scream. One of Captain Tracht’s fetishes, sensory deprivation, should that have come with a spoiler alert, in BDSM everyone has their thing, and it was somewhat refreshing to learn about his, it’s enough to give someone ideas, regardless of their sexual preference, tools of the trade.

The whole feet thing along with the clothing was not my cup of tea, but that’s the tip of the iceberg with this title, there’s a mountain of negatives, but that’s me being me, but you should know there is a reason for this title Under His Heel. One more would be that of Total Power Exchange, only in this world, it is entirely enforceable by the law, and Captain Tracht utilizes it with no mercy when it comes to his bondservant, Alex. It became a bit repetitive and annoying. I’m all for submission, but I suppose the idea of having someone with apparently no will of there own is one more thing that doesn’t sit well with me but to each his own which was my way of thinking as I trudged my way through this title, for days.

It was a feat to get through it all, but at least I wasn’t surprised “again” not my first time reading about a “man cave” is that even a thing… anyway, I don’t run from a challenge and while I read mostly for enjoyment and to better my writing this was something else. I can’t even begin how to imagine how women would take this title though if it’s how most men look at two women, then I’m sure this will get them going honestly.

The book’s saving grace, but I’ll get to that; out of Captain Johannes Tracht and Alex Stone (immediately made me think of a porno), I’ll choose Captain Tracht merely because it’s always better to be the hungry than the food. Minus the guy chasing and the obsession with feet he is somewhat a man that I can relate to but by no means was he my favorite character, I leave that honor to Jeremy Parsons and thank heavens for Nadia Sinclair; give me a book about her and I’m interested.

Captain Tracht is, stop me if you’ve heard this one, confident, somewhat wealthy, and a long list of expletives I shouldn’t say if I want this posted anywhere so basically he’s the man all the bad girls want. From Ms. Espinosa who desired his body wantonly, the fetishes that he and Dr. Singh shared, and even his sister that wanted him to be a bit nicer when it came to his own family; probably another reason I liked Parsons so much. Also like any dominant, he is quite protective of Alex, but again it’s one thing to have a submissive under contract but with how he treated him, either the moments were a bit hateful, humiliating, or horny, just saying.

Alex was an idiot, most times when I read about a female submissive, she’s naïve, new, but never stupid but Alex, as Captain Tracht will bring up, again and again, is moronic or easily manipulated but of course he has a contract to back him up. Mr. Stone comes off as the muscle, perhaps another selling point for women because he treats women poorly unlike Captain Tracht who is quite respectful; unless a woman messes up professionally, but he loves to torture Alex because of his treatment of women. The only time I even think anything of Alex is when he has his friendship with Parsons or Nadia, probably the only two people that don’t treat him like garbage or a hole they should fill.

Titles such as this are never known truthfully for traditional or “family values” but I liked Parsons because despite what he did, he only wanted to provide a future for his loved ones and when it came to him and Captain Tracht *sigh*, I didn’t like it but Alex signed up, and the Captain does what he does. I would have liked to see something spring up between Alex and Nadia and if men don’t do it for me, neither do tattooed girls with shaved heads, though I could tell you some stories, probably not better than this, not yet.

Three Stars out of Five and I would probably go two, but that would be me, being mean and bored, not to mention not turned on except for a sex scene with women and those were far too few and short. I should also warn you there might be a few more spoiler alerts, but if you like dominant men and it doesn’t matter who’s catching then this is a good book, but sci-fi fans shouldn’t get their hopes up if you’re looking for technical intrigue in the space realm.

I am in no way inspired to read the sequel to this, here’s hoping my erotica reading group doesn’t get any ideas for the time being; this isn’t a bad book by Adara Wolf; it’s not for me, point blank period but I took a somewhat leap. There is a decent note here or there; I remember looking up the name of one of the space stations and having a fascinating read about the Greeks which served as a nice break… how long did it take me to read this? The author gave me that glimmer of hope that this wouldn’t be what I was expecting, I did a review of “Shiver” By Ella Frank, and I said I didn’t read carefully enough to know what I was getting into, and it was… never mind.

Probably my favorite part of the story was “Tracht Made Alex (sleep with) Nadia at one point.” And that was during a somewhat orgy chapter, nothing wrong with that and I was probably dragging at some point. Parsons did break my heart which is probably where that third star comes into play, and I don’t mean what he did but what happens to him. If Alex did what he did on the grounds of, Captain Tracht being his benefactor, I could understand, but this seems more like Stockholm Syndrome than any real love or affection. Besides the punishments, I liked Tracht’s sister who has a stronger role in the next book, but even wanting to see Tracht be put down is not enough to warrant that reading, to be honest.

Three Stars for a book I would rather avoid, but I read what I read, and as always I appreciate being open to a new point of view, what friends I have in the LGBT community don’t talk about their love lives, and I don’t ask, and I’ve never thought to broach the subject of BDSM. Some books are meant to challenge the mind, to teach new things, to even give you a sense of accomplishment and so this has, A Feat Under His Heel.

When Girls Come To Church

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Now this is worth getting up for on a Sunday morning, hell when I was younger my parents would drag me to church, and I would spend time in the balcony reading, nothing akin to this, but it’s better than the Bible. “When Girls Come To Church” though?

No worries I’m not going to get all preachy on you, though if I’m speaking honestly, there was a woman that told me I would be a preacher someday and once upon a time I worked in a Christian bookstore whose owner later became a reverend. I tried reading the “good book” probably one of three books I couldn’t get through all the way but I’m here to talk about a much better book, and that’s “Church.” by Stylo Fantome.

This novel made me believe in five stars again; it brought back my faith that being quiet is not a bad thing especially if you don’t care what anybody thinks and I have always heard that women like the strong silent type and so it was Emma Hartley finds seduction. What a fool believes am I right but I don’t mean only Emma, everyone is in this title from Margo to Jerry, to other girls that want to fall to their pretty knees and worship. All men think their God this one happens to be right and in that, I do mean Paul “Church” Logan, I wouldn’t mind learning his ways, but I can never stick to my silence honestly.

I’ve heard of a man having a dream. Indeed every man should have a plan, but let success make the noise, and there is plenty of that between Church and Emma; sadly, she was not the dream and as far as the plan well? Now I think I’ve asked this question before but what is it that makes the real evil so smart, I wish I were only talking about Church in that but Margo too which is only one more spoiler, I’m warning you just in case. This tale plays its cards close to the chest and then becomes entirely predictable but still extraordinary overall, as the next question is, what happens next which is high praise for any writer, I need to know.

Like life after death; I wouldn’t go that far but this is the first book I’ve read from Stylo Fantome, and now I’m a follower without a doubt, again not as far as Emma, no, if anything I want to be Church. I could fall in love with Emma too, as the song goes, “not a trace of doubt in my mind” as this story will stick with you, it will make you a believer, but the question is what that will be when it’s over; is it love perhaps?

I believe that Emma has known pain, and yeah you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure that out. As I’ve already stated this is the first title I’ve read where silence indeed is reflected in a more positive light; if that means getting a girl out of her panties. The other characters have “admirable” backstories, enough to keep them in the loop, not too much that you need a bio-page to guide you through everything there is about them, thieving mom, lame dad, dirty college girl, etc.

Emma is hurt, thanks to mom’s lying, cheating ways, and is stuck, wanting like anything to get away from everything that’s happened and when do people go looking for faith, that pie in the sky when there seems to be no way out. In walks Church, a man who has found solace in his silence with his own set of mommy issues and yet he meets a woman who understands everything he is trying to say without uttering a word; I’m going to say it now, that’s my dream. Together with all their chemistry when it comes to sex, they formulate a plan, but if only it were the same plan, you would have a love story to be sure.

The mothers in this novel were nothing to write home about and not to creep anyone out, but Church’s mom in a small way reminded me of mine except I didn’t get beat, but second spoiler warning they’re coming too, no doubt. I don’t want to be Church’s dad, a sad man with a small sliver of sanity at any given moment, who only takes what he can get when the time comes, namely Emma’s mother. I would have liked to read more on Stacey Cummings and Marci MacIntosh, but that’s mostly me being a horndog; it is something to see how everyone reacted to Church, from his lover, his “people” and did Margo have something for him too, like mother like daughter that way.

Obsession though, another one of those double standards in the world and one more reason I found myself falling for Emma and wishing to have that “magnetism” that Church could draw out of the female population. Speaking of society, I think everyone, within a reasonable age, of course, should read this because people always talk about love but what you won’t do for love, fairytales have so many princesses, but when push comes to shove what will she do for the dark prince, I’m saying.

You should stop right here maybe, I wonder how many guys are like me reading this sort of title but last warning five stars, can’t wait to read the sequel or others and of course, the ladies will love it. This book got to me in so many ways in all honesty, and that’s even before the sex, and it wasn’t overblown or anything of the sort, but it was there along with everyone’s mental issues and the climax wow.

The eroticism was good, and it could use a bit more but it was enough from Church’s bedroom to the classroom, and what some might call incestuous though Church and Emma were in no way related, merely their parents getting married. Another double standard I saw was the whole don’t kiss and tell, and Marci has a big mouth bragging, while to Church their tryst was nothing but somehow he finds himself falling for Emma, even if at first it was only a means to an end. Emma’s obsession up to the end for Church and then as if she were falling out of a spell, it was reminiscent of “500 Days Of Summer” to wake up in the morning and feel differently about someone.

The things that Emma was willing to do, without knowing anything about Church and when she found out what his end goal was, another change that the man wasn’t aiming to be the killer and the woman would, all for the sake of love. Not that Church didn’t show at least a fondest for Emma and eventually a love, facing off against her mom, getting to see Emma when he showed one time that all his power couldn’t solve a problem. The two scenes that did it for me was the sex on the teacher’s desk; what I’m a traditionalist when it comes to porn; there was also the murder scene that showed such madness.

It showed me five stars, and while I don’t believe in much, I do think that Stylo Fantome’s novel Church has made me a fan and that I couldn’t get enough, it took me less than a week to finish it, so wow. To quote one more song “love is the answer” but there are so many questions. That means it’s going to take a whole lot of love and with men being men, I can see through these tiles When Girls Come To Church.

Episode 111 ~One Way Will Work~

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Let’s give the boy a hand as the song goes, failed to get fired, to be completely lazy though if I heard the voice on the PA right but how often am I right, after all, I work retail, and that’s not working for me. One Way Will Work, such is hope

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Episode 111 ~One Way Will Work~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, last week I talked about going to work and how scared I was of losing my job and is it sad that nothing has changed about that; yes I am grateful, but the thing about any of the employment I’ve held is that I’ve wanted to go. Writing has its good days, and off days, but with the day job there is mind-numbing terror every day, hateful, half-sick, hiding but never hopeful, hell I have PCH for that, and I screwed that up too; my mailing will never make it before the deadline to be sure.

The thing is, what I will do for writing, start a blog, chug a 5-Hour Energy, drive to the library, the money I have spent wasting my time but that makes me feel better than the day job ever has. Hell take today as an example, I researched where to buy stamps so I can mail that stupid PCH letter that won’t make it because that gives me a hope that the rest of this week has never brought me. I know you must be asking yourself Lady Lu why I’m ragging on the day job so much considering, some announcement I’m not even sure I heard succinctly that scared me enough to think I’m losing my job, that does nothing.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas A. Edison

That is how I feel at work Luna; seven years I’m not sure how many days but not one of them has brought me hope, happiness, or hunger, indeed I’m more likely to puke my brains out and don’t get me started on the bathroom situation again. So like my friend “Okay” suggest, write the book, get published, do the work, one of my motivations talks about how to get rid of fear, but how does one stop Sloth, today still sets the perfect example because how much have I gotten done. One book review written up, picking up stamps, and now talking to you, and once again I believe there is a chance of winning the big sweepstakes; the deadline is the 22nd and tomorrow’s Sunday, so there’s that.

Writing should be my only plan, but I can’t break free, at least not intentionally, a fight, a feeling, getting fired and that brings up a random writing concept… what’s with me and “Alliteration” these days, it’s quite fun with titling my Pinterest “Spank Bank” as Cherry calls it but how many times have I used this writing trope today? Thousands of words that haven’t worked but how do I know, I know retail isn’t but with so much Lady Lu, do I still believe, One Way Will Work?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 110 ~Enemies Wills And Writes~

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Who doesn’t have an enemy, you could be sitting in a monstery and Tibet, and some monk is giving somebody grief, and how much is a shiny rock in comparison to a weapon. “Enemies Wills And Writes”

Friday, October 19, 2018

Episode 110 ~Enemies Wills And Writes~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, isn’t it ironic that we spend more on our enemies than we do on our friends, I swear cruelty can be exhausting, and I have a new “respect” for those that practice it. Any writer must know a thing or two about suffering and fear; I don’t care if you’re Mother Goose, and I love my son like pancakes and can give you a million stories, but of course, the last one will hurt the most, a great fear Lady Sophia.

When that day comes, but no worries today about him, only why don’t I write about him more… because when would I find the time to write something good, when there is so much evil in the world. Worry about everything else, that’s what I do, like today at the day job, one enemy said something over the PA, hell I wish there was a memo I misread so I wouldn’t be killing myself over it. What a weapon a voice is, and don’t get me wrong I do believe that the pen is mightier than the sword but that doesn’t stop me from owning a few weapons and what is a weapons purpose, what is a writer’s reason hmm?

“The artist’s job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.” ― Woody Allen Midnight in Paris: The Shooting Script (From Goodreads)

Words are just so potent as a weapon, am I writing a will, a want, how about a warning, it’s a good thing I didn’t give one of those to an enemy right; I still haven’t seen him since last week, and I would almost be giddy if it weren’t for today. Working today *sigh* I had so much time but that’s the real problem, most days I’m my worst enemy, and while I’m not a killer, I’m a pretty decent sadist next to one group in particular. Women, before you freak out, I would never consider women the enemy, this is more keeping myself in check but as much as I hate to admit it, and I have several times, why did I go back to blogging these days.

Writing is not my enemy, to me, it’s like limping off the battlefield and asking myself the question of what will I do with the rest of my life, what dream was there before the war, what dreams may come after, why is there no longer anyone to fight. Wickedness that I can create enemies out of my imagination isn’t it, and OCD mixed with some paranoia doesn’t help but when you know what haunts you, hurts you, and makes you horny well then you have something to write about, so Enemies Wills And Writes.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 109 ~A Greed With Will~

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Doing what you love isn’t working right; now I could tell you exactly what that is to me and most people would say that’s not the L Word, others would say it’s illegal unless you live in Nevada or Rhode Island. “A Greed With Will”

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Episode 109 ~A Greed With Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, did I mention I miss Hugh Hefner and now Dennis Hof, how about the man I want to be, the man I should be? Only Sloth trumps Greed in my book, which explains why I’m hopped up on 5-hour ENERGY. Will I ever stop singing praises to it, well people are continually going on and on about blessed coffee, football, or the “president,” but you know what revs me up, boobs, butts, and ahem beauty.

That’s how such great men made their living, and that’s what I want to do with my life, beauties in both book and brothels, but I’ve been thinking about a niche, well I mean other than everything. Most people I’ve talked to about this know that I’m into brunettes, I still haven’t figured out why considering I’ll go for blondes, redheads, multicolor hair, the list goes on; a man must have choices and I’m still a traditionalist when it comes to marriage. Not talking to that guy right now, no I’m staying a dreamer, and I should be a worker, yeah the guy that spent all of his pay and then some, if I could horde cash the way I do the ladies, and how I should my dark secrets.

I know this isn’t sounding sexy but besides being on hiatus from you know what, I’m thinking more business, not to mention I’m greedy with my time today, which is something I find more valuable than both ladies and money and if I chose between the two… Both are only a means to an end, POWER but nobody lives forever, and when I see everything that I’m missing out on; now I don’t want to be some old man with some eighteen-year-old out for my money. I want to be some old man taking other guys money and getting all my sex for free, and again I’m not getting into love today; love and sex can be entirely different entities.

At the end of each day though, we want it all but what are we willing to do to have that; sometimes I think I’m freaking insane; a friend asked me, what would be so bad about losing the day job I hate every day, to what, write a book about what I love? I choose the money because the idea of flesh, fulfilling a need, let’s agree maybe “fucking” looks worse than the love of money but I want more; A Greed With Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 108 ~Meet The Complacent Will~

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I’m okay, no more and no less, I survive one more day, and I think… yeah right, on to the next one and soon it doesn’t hurt so much, dare I say there is a little less fear after a while? Meet The Complacent Will

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Episode 108 ~Meet The Complacent Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, don’t go to therapy; you think my job pays me enough for health insurance? Stay awake maybe, well look at me today, and eat healthy, again look at where I work. The thing is I still work there, so does Dumb and Dumber and as far as Dumbest, I could be way off the mark, but I haven’t seen him since last week, could I possibly be so lucky… highly doubtful, PCH hasn’t shown up with my big check as such.

That’s my first sin, but even you ask though you are way smarter than Rudy Giuliani. Can hope be a sin, I said yesterday I pray for my dog though I don’t believe in any deity. Every day I plan for the best, and I woke up in my drool, and I wanted to see a black man fall. My second sin is that this makes me as normal as anybody else, I remember when America learned Osama Bin Laden got put down and there was such celebration. Sure he was a killer but are we not better? I know a young woman who took a bullet and another woman who is a dear friend who got robbed, and neither has seen their assailants brought to justice, this world can be better. This leads me to my third sin, it’s people that make this world what it is, and another coworker asked me about my job and if I go through so much crap, hell like my boss, why don’t I leave, and that’s the magic word for today Inspector Echo, COMPLACENCY, I am complacent.

My fourth sin is that I’m willing to accept it, all last week and now this week it’s been; please let me keep my job, no fear Inspector, as I have said the fight does not bother me it’s what I’ll have to do. That’s five, the fact that I have returned to my normal state which is no damn good, wake up, go to work, come back and pass out, then talk to you or any of the girls about making a million dollars all so I can speak with actual girls. Even in that, I have become quite complacent maybe I’m that damn greedy, or perhaps I’m a pervert but if I counted that as a sin every single week I’m screwed right…

So what’s my plan for tomorrow, I could be wrong of course about the situation, and that means, the sixth sin for today. I am going to worry tonight, and the man I want to be should focus on making the world, well my world a better place; I want to be like Dennis Hof may he rest in peace. Will you forgive me Inspector Echo for wishing to see another person fall (nevermind). I apologize for being, well human. For accepting this life in its ways, for not “trying” harder, and for another night of worry. Hell for those five minutes I remembered someone else that threatened to ruin me, but I Ain’t Happy but Meet The Complacent Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 107 ~All Will Be Will~

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Get well soon, nope, usually, it’s better to get Will soon, whether it be a fight at work, a reason to be fired, or some other calamity but the question is who will I be tomorrow, and who cares to know. All Will Be Will.

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Episode 107 ~All Will Be Will~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, yet I Stay here with you, for a little while longer and I don’t worry, more like a wish that all will be Will… yeah for a writer, I’m sure many an English teacher will have a field day with that. I’ve done worst in English classes, ask me about my freshman year in junior college one day but I close my eyes, and I know all will be well if I can be the man you always love every day.

If I can be the man that everyday kisses all of my children’s heads and tells my furry little firstborn “good puppy, good puppy, be good puppy *gives him a treat* I’ll be back, I love you, be a good puppy, make good decisions, always make good decisions.” Could I say the same for myself as you kiss me goodbye, is there anything better to stop my words whether they be angry, negative, or complicated as people seem to find them and that’s when they come at all. Is there a better way to keep a smile on my face, the needs of the many as they say but For The Love Of You, I want to be me all of the time, even when I can’t see him, I still don’t like mirrors much.

Is it strange that I don’t like first person shooters either but “Far Cry 5”… I learn but my point is when I’m leaving, and I’ll never bow to any religion but I pray for my son, and now I pray for you as well and my other children; I believe, I know you’ll be Alright. Again I don’t feel that way most days, people ask me how I’m doing and I find that question so freaking annoying because people don’t care, so I say “another day,” and when I realize at work, I won’t feel my rage. When I’m out in the world and don’t rattle, or when the average person doesn’t leave me with the look of “REALLY” on my face. So I come back to you, and I’ll always ask how your day is going, but you don’t need to ask me, I know you care too but how was my day, how am I doing, how do I feel right now?

I want to feel like Will, I want to love my family, I want to know I have everything I need and I get out of bed not because I’m in a hurry, but because hell maybe Shakespeare had it right, parting is such sweet sorrow and knowing me that’s the only sadness I’ll cater to. I want to kill… for fun, Far Cry 5, Detroit Become Human, Fallout 4, getting around holiday time. Yeah, I can be a monster, trying to be an Eagle surrounded by turkeys, and as far as the Santa Claus question *sigh* we’ll get to it, me and my motivations; when I love you will do, all will be well and All Will Be Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 106 ~For My Opportunity Anything Goes~

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Today was an opportunity for a decent day, every day is born with the same hope, but you must be willing to fight for it both metaphorically and literally as other people take their chances and make their choices. “For My Opportunity Anything Goes.”

Monday, October 15, 2018

Episode 106 ~For My Opportunity Anything Goes~

Fifty-Forth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, I heard somewhere that you don’t wait for the opportunity to knock, you drag it inside kicking and screaming… everything is violent. I’m still caught up in last week. You see when I fight it’s not to teach a lesson, it’s not only the need to defend myself but when I reach that level I’m not even thinking about winning, I have but one function for the victory… kill.

“Tell me why you kept on kicking him. You had already won.”

“Knocking him down won the first fight. I wanted to win all the next ones, too. So they’d leave me alone.” Ender’s Game

One of my favorite motivational speakers says there are only three words that you need; “WHATEVER IT TAKES” this is what makes a person unstoppable, limitless, you do this because there is no other way. I was speaking to Cherry, and she said, writing shouldn’t be a chore, and I won’t lie to you, it can be damn hard sometimes but so can breathing, sleeping, hell being me, Superman (It’s Not Easy), so compared to all that, writing is natural. Everyday something can come of this though I can’t say I’m thinking positively in that aspect, you do remember why I got back into blogging, keeping anything close to a journal, find a girl that pisses you off, or that you like a lot, both ended the same way, honestly.

I have a question though; if writing is my Plan A, why am I still working retail, I even told my coworkers today, if I’m still at it in fifteen years, go ahead and shoot me but to think at one point I did see that job as an opportunity… the pursuit of happiness it is not. There was an opportunity today for a more permanent position at work, but seriously I couldn’t run a crew of three black guys, I like being in charge, but a whip might send the wrong message, and I’ve said it before, if I were white, hand me a polo shirt, and a Tiki Torch. Money though opens up plenty of opportunities which is why I’m always so concerned about it nowadays because without it… so why is right here and now so important, every day I take this time to get it all out, regardless of what comes of it, such ill will.

In every moment lies opportunity and I learned a long time ago, you don’t have to play by everyone else’s rules, I’ve been thinking about this at work *ahem* I’m not here to be your fucking entertainment, I’m not here to be your damn friend, I won’t be taking your shit anymore. I am here to make money, this is my opportunity to do something so that I can have a better life far away from you assholes and if that means fighting for my right to exist, can you hear me now, if anything For My Opportunity Anything Goes.

I Will Have No Fear