Month: October 2018

Episode 105 ~Beware The Walking Will~

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Remember my dream last week, I woke up before I figured out what happened to myself and no I wasn’t infected with their stupidity because I refuse, no my infection is RAGE, and that energy had to go somewhere. “Beware The Walking Will”

Sunday, October 14, 2018

Episode 105 ~Beware The Walking Will~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, a part of me wants to say don’t die, but that’s not a promise you can keep necessarily, especially after this week; you’ll reap what I have sown, and I can’t tell you I’m sorry just yet. You know back in those Navy days the thought of dying, never really occurred and there is a big difference in thinking you’re going to die and believing you might have to kill, always better to be the hunter than the prey my friend, remember.

I think that’s why you’re still here, so many suicide attempts but the plan was never to die but to get stronger, and last week I protected us, so you can return, damn I do owe you a bunch of apologies right now? You might as well save them up because if things go down how you are undoubtedly thinking, you’re going to need them, and if you do die, well, you’ve worked your ass off today but don’t get cocky those reviews should have been up weeks ago. If Today Was Your Last Day you wanted something to be proud of, and I am, the things that RAGE can do if pointed in the right direction or should I say if it’s transformed and as much as you want to deny it let’s look at those Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 009 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Review “Ven” (V Games) Ker Dukey and K. Webster
Completed
4. I Will Review “Life Itself”
Completed
5. I Will Finish “Under His Heel.” By Adara Wolf
Completed
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”
Completed

An 83.5 B and three of those were all you and not me, hell if only I had got up sometime last week and bought my son’s medication this would have been a clean sweep, and no parent should be greedy, there is no right there even if you keep that stuff in your Walmart shopping cart. Is it greed to want to live, to want to breathe easy at work, not to walk around waiting for the inevitable because Monday as Rocko would put it, “is a very dangerous day” but not getting fired shouldn’t make this list. Speaking of that, this is the first time in a while you need all new goals, well except the first two and the last but here’s to these Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Review Church. (Church #1) By Stylo Fantome
4. I Will Review “Under His Heel.” By Adara Wolf
5. I Will Finish Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”

You know I’ve never been one for final words which means one more idea that you are not expected to die, and even now it’s not a fear of losing, no you fear success because most days yeah you wake up and feel like you’re dead and since when did “walkers” develop feelings? No you fear what you’re going to do to the other guy, well guys because of the monster inside you, the rage that infects you but I’ll only ask you to look at what you accomplished today, don’t Pretend We’re Dead, dammit I want you to live, Beware The Walking Will.

I Will Have No Fear

The Language Of Life Itself

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What is the meaning of life, there was a point when I would have said love but if this movie is any indication there is plenty of tragedy that makes you wonder is it worth it… this movie is worth seeing without a doubt. “The Language Of Life Itself.”

One name Samuel L. Jackson, though I don’t know whether to say, way to hide the good stuff or I’m warning you, because you know what’s he’s known for, and even if it is a five-minute cameo, the language is going to remain. I sat in the theater having to remind myself that “Life Itself” is a rated R movie because nothing in the trailers prepared me for this which in a way is a Pleasant surprise, though I saw one mother who brought her son, and an old lady yelling at a studio guy about the language she heard.

If this is what the fans of “This Is Us” watch, what have I been missing, the story though is top notch, and the stars that I recognized were awesome but do I call it a love story, a tragedy, a few laughs here and there but like watching The Lion King after Mufasa dies. You should be prepared for the graphic nature and the storytelling within the film and don’t get attached to characters; it will be a tearjerker if you can deal with the pacing and the shock value of the tale. Now with Fandango appeased perhaps a better explanation of the story would be to call it a series because overall the “drama” while great leaves one with a sense of, I whip my head back and forth, though down is a pretty decent direction just saying.

It amazes me what they get away with on screen sometimes, not that I’m one of those people who enjoys whining about how can they do that but when you compare Oscar Isaac’s character of Will to Olivia Wilde’s Abby well you can guess where they knew to draw the line. Again not with the speech though but I think it was toned down in later parts of the movie, or maybe that’s how New Yorker’s talk… but again I’m not trying to play Annie Wilkes from Misery. When you go from tragedy to tragedy, to disaster, to drama and then the ending but which would I be referring to since I counted at least five couples and the movie could have focused on one, not at all I think.

They were all needed though you only tend to focus on one emotion and spoiler alert it ain’t happy because the moment you begin to feel that well, Life Itself can be funny at times, and I do mean that. Only two of all the couples caught my eye but maybe because I have a thing for girls named Olivia, or I have an idea of a specific type of girl as many of my friends have noticed to be fair, plus it was also the end of the movie.

Attempting to stick to the trailer, two young New Yorkers are together, love and marriage expecting their first child and as I said, do not let the promo put a smile on your face if you’re a fan of the first two leads. Honestly, though I genuinely related to Will and not only in name and I know it’s a scary thought if you go and watch the movie but for a man to be in love so much… and that’s only the beginning of the heartbreak; have tissues ready.

I liked Abby too because she grew to become so understanding and with her past, how could she not fall in love with Will; their relationship is what dreams should all be and something I might want for myself someday. Can’t say I had as strong a reaction to Javier and Isabel’s love played by Sergio Peris-Mencheta and Laia Costa, so of course to give it a bit of extra punch you throw Antonio Banderas as Mr. Saccione into the mix. Though the feelings of the two men wanting what was best for Rodrigo (Àlex Monner) brought a lot of emotion and I only wished my father somehow gave that much caring, yeah that hit pretty close to home honestly.

As I have already mentioned the Lion King and laughter in the aftermath and Samuel L. Jackson is only a brief cameo we have Jean Smart as Linda and Isabel Durant playing Shari, but why did I find it so humorous that they could take the tragedy and turn it into a funny, rooting for construct? However alone, not one character truly stood out and compared to the minimal screen time of everyone involved, that’s why the stakes have to know such incredible heights for everyone to give the characters any depth. In a way, it’s like “GTA V” that everyone who sees this movie will find at least one persona to go with and even more so, a chapter to love and trust me that this film will help with this in a way.

Again for me, Will’s family was the best though, in this age of political correctness, I’m sure that someone will have a problem with that, Americans, a fan of Star Wars, I like the theme song, and the women though no worries on the sex front but considering everyone has kids… It’s also worth mentioning about the theme song that I won’t say yet, that it plays a pivotal role in the movie, if I understand anything about Abby’s college stuff, it’s an unreliable narrator or the only true one.

On the Fandango scale I’ll give it a four out of five, so am eight out of ten for inflation, I would definitely see it again now that I’m over the initial shock of the first time around and yes this movie will do that but do This Is Us fans have nerves of steel or what? From this point forward there will be spoilers, so you know, but I do recommend this film and if you don’t care what kids hear or for them to see you cry then bring them along as well.

One of the things that I didn’t like about this movie, well… people talk about trailers telling too much or featuring things that never make an appearance, “Get Out” deer skeleton or “Happy Death Day” In Da Club for examples but Life Itself is nothing like you’re expecting. I think the tragedy scale is set somewhat high I mean if you don’t have the guts to show one person you don’t get extra for traumatizing the audience with the next death, no matter how graphic, quick but it is quite violent. While I appreciate the good sense to break up the movie into chapters, with most stories the sections correlate, and this was more a miniseries of shorts that fulfilled the overall story of one life that is only on camera for five minutes truthfully.

My favorite parts, Will and Abby, the scene where he is attempting to explain that one day together, and you’re wondering, did they divorce, die, get disintegrated by aliens, and Will can’t seem to make up his mind before. Dylan played by Olivia Cooke; you could see her story arc coming from a mile away, and though her ending was somewhat, unfulfilling, she did a terrific job with the character and the small love story. I’ve already talked about the song which was Make You Feel My Love, sung by Bob Dylan and covered by numerous artists and it didn’t get old or repetitive as many times as it was played in “Life Itself” *sigh*.

Life Itself is masterful storytelling, but it felt more like several great stories that got around to making a good one and is there such a thing as “perfect” anyway, that can be a dirty word too if you think about it. So I’ve done a lot of it myself, trying to untangle it all and if I uttered one final word, it would have to be *ahem* “complicated” which is the truth because what can be more dramatic than The Language Of Life Itself.

Ven Will These Women Learn

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How does one win at life, I heard in a song that life is game for everyone and love is the prize and I never much agreed with that but while I am here looking for what I would consider a victory I might as well read some. “Ven Will These Women Learn”

If a man did this or if a man did that, honestly men do so much and worse, but despite it all when men and women come together it is not their job to fix each other, that responsibility is solely theirs and theirs alone, and so it is with Ven and Diana. Ven by Ker Dukey and K. Webster is the sequel to Vlad and covers the Vetrov bloodline, and I should tell you now there will be spoilers so if you haven’t read the first book… what, you honestly haven’t read about Vlad?

For the record, Vlad is still my favorite character with Diana coming in a close second for one reason in particular honestly, but again, there is, what’s that word; that’s right Responsibility. Her father is responsible for her if not then Veniamin, and then how about she do something, and she did because Vlad didn’t get the whole story. Now this story should be centered more around Veniamin, but it reminds me somewhat of How I Met Your Mother, like how the mom was nowhere in the world but he is in this story, but it centers more around Diana. Last warning spoilers ahead, Diana’s betrayal, Diana betrothed, and Diana can be a real um, a not nice person, in fact, she is a real badass in this story, but the problem is other than violence she is not learning from past misdeeds that aren’t entirely her fault I know.

Ven’s story is not much different from Vlad’s, a wealthy man with an evil daddy destined to rule an empire with the woman he wants so close and yet so far away but of course it does not stay that way for long. Diana brings a new set of problems and while she learns to accept the circumstances of the first problem the overall moral is lost yet again which is, please don’t lie, in a world full of lies, with these people you are supposed to be better than, why continue the mistakes of the past. Of course, the best part is this book starts right where Vlad left off, and honestly, that is what got me to read this one because I wanted to know what was next as I am somewhat of an aficionado of fantasy death games, am I drooling like Homer Simpson, yes I am.

The first half of the book and then some is pretty awesome, but it doesn’t add much to the table other than seeing events through another family’s eyes and wanting to catch a glimpse of Vlad and Irina and their happy ending; or is it. Then they rev up the blood quotient for this one, and I mean by the gallons, and that alone had me so close, and I do mean Diana in the arena close to death wanting me to say wow perfection.

Ven and Diana, what can I say that Vlad and Irina didn’t cover other than a whole new set of circumstances as to why they can or can’t be together, another overbearing father this, a few lies that, and then Diana is always herself. There is also a whole new list of characters to learn about; I think I said in my last review that the biographical information for all of the families is tremendously helpful as I refer to it quite a bit reading.

With Veniamin, he’s somewhat of a more, significantly inebriated version of Vlad, that deep sense of love and killer’s instinct is the same and seeing as how he’s in love with Irina’s sister but while Vlad’s led more by pure rage and passion, add a drug habit, and you have our guy Ven. Now Diana was painted somewhat as a villainess in the last installment, but when you get the bigger picture you understand truthfully that is until well; she doesn’t learn. I find myself lost between hating her for her many lies. Or falling in love because of The V Games. Together as a couple, I keep saying it but Vlad and Irina win hands down but Ven and Diana, that fire they have together is like something out of Sin City and how they come to express it; if only Irina were such.

There is more of Vika where again another villainous woman is painted to be somewhat of a victim, and while I can respect Diana to a certain degree, Vika does everything for her own sake while Diana was seeking to protect others. I can’t forget the Madmen of Moscow, while I can’t keep up with the membership of my erotica reading group if other men are into this genre I’m sure many would want to relate or even be either Rodion or Zahkar. Vas to me seems a bit unfinished like he’s there, he has some pivotal scenes, but somehow it’s as if he’s set apart still, which sort of explains the idea for the next book or maybe the authoresses wanted to stick to the V theme some logically.

Other supporting characters I don’t think are as well done as Vlad, it could be because there was more action in this follow-up and let me be clear while I will give both titles four stars I believe I like Ven as a novel more than Vlad. With Vlad, you have the sex and a bit of violence but with Ven or I should probably say Diana, I suppose that’s a personal preference as I heard in a movie once, power becomes yours through sex and VIOLENCE, true enough friends.

Four-Stars I was there, if I only stopped reading those last few pages I would have given Ven five stars without a doubt, but we never freeze do we, but you have your shot right here, and now this book is incredible. I am also about to share some of my favorite scenes though most of my excitement again stems from being a witness to The V Games just saying.

The ending I guess is that aha moment, but first I was confused, and then there was not a twinge of anything because Vas’s character and his lady love, are not honestly built up again, it was a bit blah. I want to know the ending, but while I was hopeful for Vlad and ecstatic for Ven, I’m more or less okay we’re going to get a ton of backstory in the next book or what, not that I like Vas and Vika but he agrees with that himself. I wish that we got more on Kira Baskin though her scenes were hot but most importantly of all I dream that The V Games were longer and brought into more detail, though it was incredible.

How many times have I said The V Games, Diana fighting for her life and the goings on of the battlefield, I thought it would be more only one person gets out alive sort of deal but the fact that people were going in for the fun of it all. As far as fun, a ton of sex that I can’t pick only one scene, the Madmen, Ven and Diana, the prisoner either Kira and Diana would be enough to rev up anybody and leave you wanting even more. Diana and Vika’s vengeance; after the brutality of everything that happened to them it was well served and perhaps the grandest victory besides The V Games of course of the first two novels that I’ve read.

Those last pages *sigh* do not get your hopes up though I’m sure that other people loved it, compared to the rest of the novel it fizzled out but stopping at Diana’s victory, vengeance, or validation might have been perfectly acceptable. If she learned her lesson before being thrust into Hell itself though it was the greatest thing ever *sigh* they say men never learn so I must ask this, Ven Will These Women Learn?

Episode 104 ~An Hour Of Will~

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As the song goes, don’t dream it’s over but my dream last week did nothing to ready me for what I would face this week though I am trying to figure it out, these hands have been bawled into fists or clutching weapons. “An Hour Of Will”

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Episode 104 ~An Hour Of Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How to make One Million Dollars, it would help if I went to work, and I have faith if I could ever get my writing down that I would be so much better off, or at least that was the dream. Speaking of which, since I had that dream Sunday, I have lived the nightmare, and I’m still trying to figure it out, but my sleep has returned to a state of nothingness; every so often I am even able to forget the trouble I am in this week, the next, never?

You see now I think the hospital symbolizes that somebody was going to get hurt, and nobody would believe this if I told them but if you compare me and that asshole you see he would have fought to win, but you know how violent I go Lady Lu… Didn’t I say the smallest dog has the loudest bark but “my bite” what else do they say; the fact that I was running in a hospital shows that I didn’t plan on dying, I Don’t Fear The Reaper, death is afraid of me I know.

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” ― Mark Twain (Found On Goodreads)

“In this life now, you kill or you die…or you die and you kill” TWD

Others might think I’m losing my head Lady Luna and in a way, I am because what’s my new favorite word… RAGE is making me forget all common sense; I need my job and hell how long was I in college anyway, maybe I was running away from wisdom in the dream. Then again why is it that all supervillains seem to be “wicked smart” if I had fought, already I know exactly how I would have beaten that bastard, it’s like something out of Detroit: Become Human and talk about stupidity, if I got fired though I definitely would have gone on a shopping spree to cheer myself up.

I have no problem with telling you what I would do afterward, fighting that trash though you see he would have been brawling. Instead, I would have been… I can’t say it because that would get flagged as something else, which is why I write fiction mostly. Killing fictional people is so much simpler, and I have no problem baring that part of myself to you or maybe I let my emotions get the better of me at work and I let them see the beast, a peek, a glance.

The time I have spent being angry and afraid, when like Barney Stinson I could be awesome, which is about as much positivity that you’re going to get from me today but what do you think of my dream interpretation but An Hour Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 103 ~File It Under Will~

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It won’t be a best seller or some grandiose poem, not some song lyric that everyone gets wrong on Youtube, how a movie line that shows how the guy gets the girl *sigh* nope it will be how I didn’t get into a fight at work. “File It Under Will,” FAME.

Friday, October 12, 2018

Episode 103 ~File It Under Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How to make One Million Dollars, because I’m not as young as I used to be and if I’m reading all this political mumbo-jumbo right, I won’t be seeing any social security checks; one more reason I should have died young. I’m aging like crazy from worrying about the day job, and now I have two whole days to think about what’s going to happen next, and it feels like I am always writing lousy news, unfortunately.

At this rate I may not have a choice but to write but you know I’ve never been published before or hell I thought I was at one point and how did that turn out for me… as always I should be grateful for what I have now, back then I was begging for a laptop. “Indiana Gone” is perpetually busy with her paperwork, but I haven’t dealt in honest to God paper in forever until Tuesday, and strangely enough nobody ended up bleeding, but the words fell all the same. One way to kill the spirit my Lady, doing what I love in the place I hate, and what about when I went on that yearlong tirade of poetry that barely received any recognition, but then there’s a whole notebook that’s sitting in a college filing cabinet somewhere. There’s even more ramblings with the police, more Inspector Echo’s thing.

My point for today is merely the fact that the only writing of mine that has blown up, in my face, is anything that gets me into trouble and this week I brought it on myself but what choice did I have? The battle cry of the truly committed because when you find your purpose (burned through my motivational playlist) you have no choice but to do it and isn’t that where we find ourselves on day 468 but how long have I held the day job… I saw on a plaque that I have worked there for five years, though at this moment it’s over seven years and I may have ended it with the stroke of a pen.

May I be so loyal to writing as I have been to that place, my hands cracking and bleeding but at least I’m not like one manager, writing about how I was hurt at work but wasn’t I Lady Sophia? Hurt feelings right, maybe I should stick to nonfiction these days, I mean all you have to do is bleed right, and in my fictional stories it’s never me that does the bleeding but in reality, File It Under Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 102 ~And Find Will’s Remote~

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Fire burns until there is nothing left and since there aren’t kisses coming in my direction or candles igniting, these flames are left to burn; no I’m not carrying the fire I’m being engulfed by a worse desire. “And Find Will’s Remote”

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Episode 102 ~And Find Will’s Remote~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How to make One Million Dollars, well I don’t spend any on BDSM leather, and other than condoms I don’t know much about latex, but before I even knew what it meant being “dominant,” I learned one word… CONTROL. When I was young, hell even today, I have issues with anger, now to me RAGE equals ENERGY, and since violence gets frowned upon and I can’t sleep how do I expend it, those days I cleaned.

I can feel your anger. It gives you focus… makes you stronger. ― Supreme Chancellor, Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)

It was all I had Dirty Diana, but if I could have a clean environment, it would clear my mind, I suppose it was a form of control, and in my day to day life I have so little of that but the ability to focus… I let go of everything, fear, hatred, this rage that has engulfed me except I don’t have anything to tidy here and at work, that’s the problem; sex and violence, you see with sex I want complete control, I may be “kinky” according to some women, okay, but I maintain control because there’s life. With fury at another man I don’t give a fuck; with sex and my enjoyment of sadism, hurting a lady in certain ways is pleasurable to a degree but with violence against the men that have wronged me, there’s no pleasure, there’s madness, a beast and what he wants, I cannot speak, I mean honestly.

Now I’m not having sex with the ladies, and I’m forbidden to harm the “gentlemen” (those bastards) so no wonder the beast is at the gates, and the rage is overflowing, and that’s making me even madder because I’m being told to “be myself” again. Yes, they would make me a vagrant with no place, less verbose in my language, the victim. Not sounding very sexy I know and yes I’m repeating myself, but it’s one of the reasons I’m in the lifestyle, to make someone feel as though they have a purpose and at the same time powerless, and to have a peek at the real them. Death is but a parody of life, I can get the thrill in my rage against a bully but what is the opposite of it, calm, clarity, contentment but that requires containment.

Graves can do that, so can a girl’s clothes if you tie her up in them, some might even put their faith in God but I’ve got nothing but Rage and Pain, and the thing about that is, pain can be shared and can be good in some ways. When you ignite that hurt though; when you make someone fear and hate, you can’t control them, and for damn sure you’re not in control of yourself, I must manage the beast, And Find Will’s Remote.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 101 ~Will Quake With Fear~

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I’m not afraid of the giant, and I will not fear the rage, but like most Americans, I fear to lose my job and why would I… this land is full of bullies, and while I believe survivors when it comes to “my people” *sigh*. Will Quake With Fear

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Episode 101 ~Will Quake With Fear~

“All human wisdom is contained in these two words – Wait and Hope” Alexandre Dumas

Forgive Me Echo,
How to make One Million Dollars, well I know you don’t burn down the beanstalk, hell I wanted to fight the giant, and in that rage and fire, I may lose the treasure and so much for buying any more beans, magic or otherwise. Fee-fi-fo-fum what a giant. That’s one more sin because I’m not a great judge of character. The giant was Dumb. Dumber was a bit shorter. The one around my size was Dumbest. The smallest dogs have the loudest bark am I right Echo?

Am I yearning to return to high school, my second sin of this week is I’m going to repeat a lesson in philosophy *ahem* the best thing in the world is to be loved, barring that they like you, no good, be respected, not happening, be invisible, but people joke… then be feared. It took me four years, by my senior year I may be small, skinny, quietest award winner but I was also the one that would F* you up, third sin Inspector Echo, my language, I only like to use that word when it comes to sex. Now is not the time though, I’ll tell you about the story of “four” another day, but my forth sin is I don’t have time, I might get fired tomorrow and what would I be… Wise, Wicked, Warrior, Will, the man I was ready to fight for, still can’t believe it.

I’ve already covered this in two statements at work but okay my fifth sin and possibly my gravest… Tuesday morning I was at work walking the receiving line, Dumb who I have promoted to Dumbest was as well, he wouldn’t move and neither would I and we collided. So I’m not backing down, he threatens, I stand my ground, we let it go. Later on, I bump him, it was an accident this time around, but still, he threatens, again I hold my ground and the manager breaks us up; well I’m a reasonable human being or a scared one maybe. Not afraid of cutting off his balls but This Is America, so I reported it, should I count snitching as a sin or the thought of how I would have brought that giant down, I’m not sorry for standing.

No my sixth sin for the finale is that I always live in fear, when I was a kid it was my grades, when it was money, waiting to be caught stealing, and let’s not forget November the 5th, the worse trouble I’ve had at the day job, and Here I Go Again. So will you forgive me Inspector Echo for not recognizing true threats, for repeating a lesson, for swearing, also this lack of time; shall I be forgiven for the inevitable but most importantly of all the fear because for one more night I Will Quake With Fear.

“Hope strengthens. Fear kills” Fever

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 100 ~Greatest Gift, Me Will~

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There is a reason my parents never got me boxing gloves, why I believe we need stronger *ahem* laws, and even Negan said people are a resource, not a blessing, not a gift and yet standing up for myself. Greatest Gift, Me Will

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Episode 100 ~Greatest Gift, Me Will~

“You make me want to be a better man.” As Good as It Gets (1997)

Dear Future Wife,
How to make One Million Dollars, with the way things are going my love, I think I’m going to need a doctor, like when I first met you, a nurse for the fight I almost got into at work, or a lawyer and not for defending your honor, no baby girl, boys will be boys. Probably not the correct thing to say in this climate and do you think I have always treated women with “dignity and respect,” well you as a woman, my wife, lover my best friend (don’t let my son hear that on repeat ever) mother of our children.

Now Whitney Houston sang about Greatest Love of All, but I have never bought that one must love themselves to love others, I would lay down my life for you or our children without question but before you… That’s a crime against you if we weren’t together and I would never do anything to hurt you like that, and I find out why I saved myself for you (life wise my love, the experience is a process). To this day I don’t know what the greatest gift is that I have ever given you, my heart, my soul, my mind, what about time, or courage because after today I am afraid because I love my family. I want to provide for you all, tradition, chauvinist, maybe a man believes in many things, and he must fight for those beliefs always.

Today I learned how much I believed in me, that I love myself, fighting for my kids is a no-brainer and fighting for you, would that make me “The Black Knight” yeah no filter at work which is part of the problem, well all of it, my love, fear, and TRADITION. I wanted to fight for me, and I didn’t care about being a provider, or even about being a better man, I wanted to be a man, I wasn’t defending you or anything I hold dear I was fighting for “The Man Right Chea.” Honestly, I didn’t know I cared so much about myself. I would fight, and I would win all to come home to you, but again I did not swear to enter the fray for you my Lady, it was all for me, and I don’t know whether to be so very proud or completely devastated.

“Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.” The Talmud

“Instead of tryin’ to help a nigga you destroy a brother” Tupac, K-Ci and JoJo

That’s not you though; I do imagine myself as Prince Pairs being nursed back to health should I have lost the battle, Prince Hector to die for a crime or Achilles himself to fight because of my reasons, no matter what they were. You would love me regardless; sad that I have to imagine, or that I should fear but the fact that you will even listen to me, this man that nearly fought, who may lose everything tomorrow because I gave into my rage.

You love me, and I love you and the fact that I spent over an hour writing two statements about what happened today the man that lies with you now, this man that would fight, I love myself, I love me, and that means I’m the Greatest Gift, Me Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 099 ~Things Will Always Get Worse~

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If I have to go over the lies, I’ve heard in my life one whopper would be “It Gets Better” a rallying cry for the “LGBT” youth but I have seen so many people asked to turn the other cheek, let it go, forget about it. Things Will Always Get Worse

Monday, October 8, 2018

Episode 099 ~Things Will Always Get Worse~

Fifty-Third Rule Madam Justice

How to make One Million Dollars, it helps to stay gainfully employed, and I was on the cusp Madam Justice, perhaps I’m fortunate that there is such a disconnect between my brain and my tongue because here is what I wanted to say to Dumb. First off don’t you f*ing talk to me ever. Secondly I only work here, the product is your problem, and finally, if you ever dare talk down to me again you’ll be too busy picking up your teeth to worry about boxes, now F off.

Language please, maybe “Under His Heel” is rubbing off on me minus the gayness… yeah, the things my mind comes up with only get worse but again having no job would be the absolute worst. The thing is Madam Justice is if I don’t stand up for myself things do get worse, this was Dumb messing with me today, Dumber is bad enough, and Dumbest will get me fired and the fact that the three of them think they can get away with it. How about “Okay,” I got to see her naked but I’ve gone from confident “bad boy” to Christian Grey begging for Anastasia, no wonder she is no longer interested, I know.

If it isn’t violence or sex, it’s retail therapy, I’m getting closer and closer to spending a lot of money; I put items in my cart online but I didn’t go through with the purchase but I want something to make me feel good and if I can’t F someone up one way or another… Takes me back to the days I was in school, and after a hard day which was all of them, I would go to the house, pop in GTA Vice City, add a cheat code and then, well that’s more a confession for Inspector Echo. Games like books and music can take you to another place, and if things get bad there well, at least they have a limit, and you can always start over.

Now I’m not saying things can’t get better, if anything because of the motivational jargon I have to believe that the best stuff is yet to come, like this million dollars I keep going on about, or the bit of satisfaction I would get from kicking some ass. Remember though I always live my life for five-minute intervals, and the world ends, and I don’t have to worry, but the bombs don’t fall ever, so Things Will Always Get Worse.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 098 ~Will To Bear Arms~

WillLeave a comment

Roll up your sleeves; my hands should get dirty, last night I didn’t have an excuse considering I was naked running around a college campus or a hospital… relax I was dreaming, but I shouldn’t be doing either. “Will To Bear Arms.”

Sunday, October 7, 2018

Episode 098 ~Will To Bear Arms~

To Will:
How to make One Million Dollars, I am not a prophet, and you’re not looking like much of anything these days but to be fair, I called the bad news which never seems to end and the good news… what good news? I’m still one for dreaming though, and while it wasn’t a nightmare per se, the last dream predicted trouble at work, though I didn’t know why… because I wasn’t wearing “excessive happiness,” this time I wasn’t wearing anything *gulp* naked really?

Last week I was told to be positive and in the very same thought I was told I was dying, Monday was the last day of the glass being half-full, hell I started with such passion, the two reviews are nearly done, except for keywords, excerpts, pictures, etc. Maybe that’s what the dream was about last night, but we’ll get to that; sometimes I wonder, do you even understand what I’m trying to say, nobody else gets it, and you will have the same excuses come next Sunday. As I said so many people are losing everything, and here you are, I would tell you not to give into temptation but between Fapping, pretty girls who talk a good “game” and a difficult time reading, *sigh* read Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Review “Ven” (V Games) Ker Dukey, K. Webster
Failed
4. I Will Review “Life Itself”
Failed
5. I Will Finish “Under His Heel.” By Adara Wolf
Failed
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”
Failed

One point again; now maybe the dream last night was saying that you’re taking on too much stuff, hell I didn’t want to stand so I took a bath and keeping with the bad karma, the Wi-Fi cut out when I sat; yes I said karma because of this great rage. Considering I was running around naked on a college campus/hospital maybe you need to get smarter and healthier, or you’re not dead yet because the whole damn world is beginning is starting to feel like a cemetery. It could even be the understanding that I talk too damn much sometimes; I bare or again bear too much, one way or another you will get hurt if something doesn’t change but not Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Review “Ven” (V Games) Ker Dukey and K. Webster
4. I Will Review “Life Itself”
5. I Will Finish “Under His Heel.” By Adara Wolf
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”

So what should this week be about, or will you be like Moses and Ramses and call the next plague, that’s why you’ve been on Amazon, Best Buy and Walmart sites; you say you care about being a writer and what are you doing? This morning you saw what matters and don’t say it because you don’t want to jinx yourself but do you have what it takes, to survive this week, the rage is still there but your hands, your arms, have a higher destiny, Will To Bear Arms.

I Will Have No Fear