Month: March 2019

Episode 255 ~Iron Will Makes Steel~

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Why say give me a minute, when I could take one, and time being so valuable and all but what have I wanted for such a long time, what do I need to snatch back, reclaim, even steal if necessary and it is. Iron Will Makes Steel

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Episode 255 ~Iron Will Makes Steel~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a Republican. After all, they make the best thieves. Still, I’m not that bad; bullies aren’t dominants. Don’t I need the brains to build a time machine. You see from where I’m speaking now; it’s Monday, so I’m stealing time? It wouldn’t be the first time I have become so sick and desperate. I’m not proud of it though there was a time when I stole. Reclaimed porn from my “father’s” computer. Then I’d dance around and call it heisting.

As for reclaiming something and taking porn back, this leads me to my first sin. Only is it; I’m still wondering that of many questions. Does Erotica count as porn, seeing a naked girl, how about paying a cosplayer. Technically today being Monday. I already looked up True Teen Babes and Street Blowjobs. Anyway back to sin, it’s not wrong for a drug addict to seek help in rehab. For an alcoholic to go to AA, so okay porn… Well, I did get this app Brainbuddy. Step one saying you have a problem and my only crime snickers is I’ll have to cancel it. At the end of this week, I like to pay my bills all at once. Now I’m not sure if I want the app or not. If I were to go back to the beginning and I hate this flashback. When I first discovered porn, it would either be Princess Ayeka from Tenchi Muyo “Hentai.” How about “dad’s” stash? That might explain some of my avoidance of black women for years.

You break it, and it’s yours, and I won’t get into who that tape belonged to but yeah. I stole cash. Would it help if I said it was life or death? Hell, maybe I am a Republican. I was trying to stay out of jail then. Yes stealing porn used to be my favorite past time. I haven’t for some time, don’t ask timeframe.

You know Patreon and the MILF, but now I am figuring out what I want. Yeah, I’m not giving up my viewing habits. I only need better control of myself. So I’m planning my biggest heist. That’s stealing back my life, mine. Too many people took away my reasons. I am learning, but they say I don’t have the brains, to believe in myself, in truth always to be me.

Isn’t that why I do this? People want to rob me, rip the smile off my face. Have reasons to hate me. These conversations are pretty much a bank vault. All they have to do is take what they want. With beauty comes great pain. Inspector Echo I apologize that I have fallen so far that it has come to outside intervention. Inspector Echo if I had to go to all the girls and all the companies where I gathered my collection, incredible. For not being strong enough to protect who I was. It has been so much time and coming so far; one day this Iron Will Makes Steel.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 254 ~Will You Maddy Me~

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Well this “experiment” is a lesson learned and awfully “creepy,” but I was tired enough to try it out anyway so yeah I may be sticking with the “Dear Future Wife” motif but Amandla Stenberg is hot as Maddy. Will You Maddy Me?

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Episode 254 ~Will You Maddy Me~

Dear Madeline Whittier,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I guess it would help if I learned to speak proper English. Let alone write it, but some things we have to release. My voice, this fear, love, but the rub is I never want to let you go. Ironic that this world is full of things that terrify me. Maddy, you stand at the top of the list yet I’m still here today and always.

Am I cured, the way that I fell for you? I would dream of you. To be beside you at the movies, and the park. You can see that I’m no Luther Vandross at all. Only I must have been seeing and hearing things. The first time I came to believe that we could be together. Enough so that you brought me down to one knee, and I struggled as if this would be my last moment, seeking a breath. To feel a heartbeat, and I asked to borrow yours forever. I became a new man, yours and from this crazy little thing called love. I am not seeking an Escape. Not to Heaven or from Hell. No doctor or God could give me what you have now and forever.

I don’t need a cure for the man I am because I’m the one you love. I promise As Long As You Love Me I’ll be what you need and more. You know it took finding an angel to make me reach for Heaven. Still, I don’t want to go. I want to be here, no matter what this life brings us. Yes, I won’t always be “brawny,” right and bright as you can tell. Still to be yours, the husband, the lover, someday a father to our children, I will make you happy. If anything that is what I want, for you to be “blessed,” that is why I ask you to stay. Because madness it could, would, and should be but if we all learn to love. My what is foolishness would be right and true for us.

Your white dress, the pages I write, the jacket I’d wear. There is not one thing that could convince me otherwise. The word for that is always, for better or for worse. For richer, poorer, in sickness and in health and everything else in-between. This love is everything; you Maddy are everything. So Stay, every time I look in the mirror I ask the man before me to Let My Baby Stay. I will strive to be the man that can make that happen, the moment I knew to ask Love, Will You “Maddy” Me.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 253 ~Being Alive Is Quite Expensive~

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I’m not sure I did it and almost doesn’t count, but I spent nearly eight hours today surviving so that one day I might live, and what would I do with that time… I have plenty of could be classics ready to go ha. “Being Alive Is Quite Expensive.”

Monday, March 11, 2019

Episode 253 ~Being Alive Is Quite Expensive~

Seventy-Fifth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, in a word from Darius Rucker “Time.” In every breath, and as “THEY” always say blood, sweat, and tears. Forgoing any other bodily fluids but we’ll get to that. What about the things that make me feel alive? To be honest with you Madam Justice, death isn’t looking so bad right now but in reality. I’m only tired; as I said last week, I’m only human. Sleep is yet another addiction I’ll have to overcome, again we’ll get there.

It begins with time and how much of that am I spending on my work. Of course, I talk to my girls every day. Still on novels, news about them, nonsense that could be anything from poetry to short stories. There’s getting girls to take off their clothes. No, it wasn’t about that this morning, groaning, grinding, getting out my Fleshlight. I did Meditate, move that scale on my latest read. I even made the bed, and I’m still breathing, right. All of this to become a better “human.” Other than working up a sweat walking B III, I do feel like crying because I’m exhausted. Sadly the day has only begun, but that’s the price, and I’m so greedy.

Yesterday I made a list because I was beginning to forget all these things I’m relying on to stay. What motivated, marginalized and liking it, beats being ME. Anyway, so there’s Patreon because I wanted to look at Cosplayer boobs. Spotify because work sucks. Prime as I desired games sooner. New Brainbuddy to control my feelings towards boobs. If it’s not dollars, I again look to time. I do exercises for my mind, work that makes me want to die. FEAR though, now you wouldn’t think that being afraid and sleep would go together. No, I only see monsters when I’m awake, in the mirror.

How about when I talked about not being a thief. However, I could tell you some stories about MOTHERLESS and True Teen Babes. The way I started my porn stash. Why yes I’ve stolen things other than porn, and I’ll get more into that Wednesday. The idea is today, buying a few more hours. Begging my body to keep going, and “stealing…” well, no it’s a seven-day free trial. That’s how I’m getting by. I’m surviving, and it’s as if I have to win back my life. Somehow that price of having it to keep, Being Alive Is Quite Expensive.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 252 ~When Will, Will Win~

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This week has been one more series of L’s, the days were long, the ladies were lovely, and the people were laughing… at me; what can I say I have a big “ugly” mouth and maybe that’s why I’m struggling to see myself, to hear. When Will, Will Win?

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Episode 252 ~When Will, Will Win~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, only you were busy “trying” to free the Titans. A story idea, “A Tentacle That Wants The Victim To Itself.” Anyway, you should study Necromancy because every day you bring back the dead. You go to bed with a mess, and it’s like you tell yourself, you’re going to fix this. By morning give yourself a yay when you read your 15% of “Heartless Prince: A Dark Captive Romance” by Stella Hart. Sigh then you yawn and fall right back to sleep.

You don’t know how positive I want to be for you right now, which would be so easy at the moment. You’re sitting here well rested and all, the pain from yesterday near nonexistent. So much the better to kick you in the ass now. It could be that you didn’t give in to temptation because “Kininaru Kimochi” doesn’t play around. Along with everything else. Clothed mothers, cosplayers, and other things that make you want to almost? You even took the timeout for meditation. If anything that’s one more thing you’ll have to cancel at the end of the week. Funny how you can remember that list. Her boobs, their music, your penis, that store and yeah Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
    Failed
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
    Failed
  5. I Will Read “Lust” (The Elite Seven #1) by Ker Dukey
    Completed
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel
    Failed

There was a moment you believed you would be done with Depredation and Sell My Soul. It was only yesterday you wrote a tiny bit more. But you are so busy fighting off, every other addiction, 5-hour ENERGY ahem porn. As I said your pain is “almost” gone, hand still hurts. Still, as far as adult entertainment, your new app has no clue what you want to do with your life. Fapping is one thing but your movies and books, what separates Erotica from Porno? The trick is mastering yourself before you can think to dominate another. While every week it seems I can’t get you to do anything. Still with a pair of boobs or some young people asking for sage advice. From a co-worker to a sweet English Tart but you can’t help yourself in Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
  5. I Will Read Heartless Prince: A Dark Captive Romance” Stella Hart
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel

Will that will be your first win. Well except number two because you failed that by eight in the morning. Still the other five, that would be a step in the right direction. You have your new app. Only you want to leap, a win-win, and here we are two Wills, and your time is now, but by Tuesday you’ll bury him. By this time Sunday, you’ll be lamenting what you didn’t do. While the next week comes out of the grave, screw being a necromancer be a time-traveler. Another book idea, but I ask again When Will, Will Win?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 251 ~I’m Staying Alive Will~

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If you don’t have your health; the thing is I think I know what will fix this but after that monster headache, no more energy shots for a while but my poor characters t if I stay awake today. I’m Staying Alive Will.

Saturday, March 9, 2019

Episode 251 ~I’m Staying Alive Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars; I’m sure I’ll make it after I’m long dead. As much as I have written, but it will be nowhere near three thousand words. Did I promise myself such today working?

Head games you know. When your body is telling you your so fucked up (Language) that it has you going looking on WebMD for answers. In that respect why aren’t I dead by now? Hearing one of your coworkers say again and again their not a racist. Speaking the truth though they’re mad about a former lover dating someone black. However, in all fairness, I’m not one to date black women. We’ve talked about the ones that leave me in the morning. Help me; if I were to ask for it, it would come in a little plastic tube. 5-hour ENERGY still has me wrecked, from my head to my feet nowadays, could be worse.

Heartbreak and I know my heart isn’t so. Seriously though I hate coming off like Howard Wolowitz or like some criminal. Yeah, women prefer the clown but the comedian died and how many days has it been? Hair Razing as my heart sank when I saw what was coming. Do you know what’s going to make me such the zombie survivor? I learned to avoid people when they’re still alive. Hands not idle but sore, sexy, and sorry for, well I’m here. Shouldn’t I make a list of my crimes, but that’s the thing, isn’t it. I don’t want to survive; I want to live.

Horny never helps though. If there is any consolation, with all this pain I’m feeling at the present moment; I can’t think about sex. Not saying I would turn it down but that should show you how much this hurts. Hips, Legs, all the way down to my toes, how I stood at all today is a miracle. I got up early to read today. I’m two minutes away from crawling into bed and going back to sleep, much like I did this morning after the book. Health is everything isn’t it Lady Lu. Yes B III has better health care than me because he has me and he’s alive.

How about if I only try living. Am I going to break off into some positive phase like once upon a time? All I know is that today sure as hell ain’t that day, only I’m not dying. I’m not getting arrested, one more miracle right, I’m Staying Alive Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 250 ~Let’s Lie Down Will~

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The lie is I can’t get up, that I can’t face the world, that B III will live to meet his stepmom but the truth, I don’t want to get up, the world scares me, and Triple B is on three medications, yet I wish to create fiction. Let’s Lie Down Will.

Friday, March 8, 2019

Episode 250 ~Let’s Lie Down Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, create the ultimate comfy spot for dogs. A product most owners won’t buy, a lie never accepted. Knowing at the end of the workday we want our fur babies with us. Sitting on our laps, furring up our couches, and bedtime.

That might be easier than writing because I’ve discovered something and that’s I’m not a good liar, and you know how I know? I’ve never convinced myself. A God that can’t convince himself of his creation; like the plot of Legion (2010). I’m not even a good thief because that goes hand in hand with lying. Only haven’t I said that fiction isn’t lying, again it’s creation. Still, everything from girls to gore, to the ground, is real. Writers have to bleed, and that’s one more thing I can’t do correctly. Like a body that lies Undiscovered and when it finally is what’s left, decay?

I haven’t gone through the majority of the Editor’s Notes on Apocalypse Rush. Though if a sea of red was any sign, damn near everything had to be separated and corrected. Not that they said it was terrible by any stretch. I wonder if the editor was a woman. I saw that it’s International Women’s Day and I did go to see Captain Marvel last night. Hell if I wasn’t sitting here with you telling me to Stop Crying Your Heart Out, what would I be doing? A pool of green from vomiting out the amount of cash I’m going to need for my novel. What about being Down With The Sickness that festers inside me. Word apps are leaving whoever I was rotting more.

Lady Sophia, if I want to write and learn how to lie, why don’t I tell you about the movie. How I strolled with confidence, paid, bought my snacks and saw a great film. No, I humiliated myself with an old ticket and agonized over it for two hours. Saw a decent movie and then felt right about a car accident because people were having a worse night. I could tell you I woke up feeling great, with a lot of energy and I plan to get so much done. Again I fell asleep till seven, my body is sore, I have to go out, and all I want to do is sleep. If my life were happy, I would go into nonfiction. Could become one of those reactors for TWD. As King Ezekiel put it “Fake It, Till You Make It,” will I go and lie down in bed or Let’s Lie Down Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 249 ~Will’s Insatiable To Addiction~

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“Love” is a disease and “Lust” is a drug but which is more expensive; I would say I don’t pay for porn but I’m an addict, not a liar and anything stronger may rip me apart, something about last week’s heart and private. Will’s Insatiable To Addiction

Thursday, March 7, 2019

Episode 249 ~Will’s Insatiable To Addiction~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I’m sure The Purge Series did way more than that, GTA, Gun, of course, zombies. Sometimes even I yearn for moments of peace. Okay not with zombies, I would live in a full zombie apocalypse but until then, a brothel.

Sex is the only thing I can never get enough of ever. Today, disgusted at yet another release and all it took was three sets of boobs. The thing is I want more of those boobs and even more in general. If it wasn’t that fantasy of those tits, then it has to be, of the two girls in stockings on their knees sucking me off.

Wait there are three pairs here, and that right there shows how greedy I am. The white “would”belong to the cosplayer. Dirty Diana if I joined the Patreon of every cosplayer I ever wanted. My Sweet Lord, help me if I ever publish and make it big. Like the mess I made, the pain in my head (big one not little one) life in general.

My motivations talk about you have to figure out what you want, and that’s easy. I want to write books, gain property, build a brothel, love hotel, movie studio. As I’ve said before all my moves go towards that goal, dare I call it my purpose? Not my reason, no that’s to provide a life for my son, and I never want to be scared again. I would buy “Indiana Gone” her farm, finally get “Cherry” to take her clothes off, hire “M Anime” for my restaurant. Not sure what “Okay” wants but she would be free to do it; If I Were A Rich Man. Now that’s the rub, to feed one addiction, I have to let go of the other. I give up LUST in exchange for GREED, SLOTH for PRIDE, and ENVY for GLUTTONY, what about WRATH?

It frightens me what people think; I don’t hate women. Okay, I hate certain ones, but that has nothing to do with sex. If anything, I hate myself most of all and an inch below my father. Dirty Diana, that’s why I hate jacking off because that’s giving myself pleasure I don’t deserve. When it comes to certain women, I guess when they show they care in the slightest I have to go all out for their pleasure. Only I need them to see the real monster. No, I didn’t mean my dick alone, but more this beast that never sleeps. Who feeds, feasts, and fornicates and like a drug, he needs a steady supply. I wonder why I was searching up the Brainbuddy App again, Will’s Insatiable To Addiction.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 248 ~Will’s Walking On Sunshine~

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Wasn’t I all about positivity a few weeks ago, was it all the rain and then too much sun, a lack of Energy; can’t say I know much about hangovers but my head hurts something awful, and I’m vomiting up this. “Will’s Walking On Sunshine”

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Episode 248 ~Will’s Walking On Sunshine~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, in six months mind you, half a year wasted. So maybe I should invest in that sinus antidepressant, but that’s my first sin today. While I despise my anxiety, I can’t afford to be happy; a smile’s not required moving forward.

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

Think I’ll stick to the ground, for now, my head is usually in the clouds but go one day without an energy shot. Damn you 5-hour ENERGY as if I don’t have two bottles ready to go. If it wasn’t for that, I still had to go out for the car and sink tools sigh. Life finds a way I heard in a movie; it gets you up and moving. Eric Thomas and Tom Bilyeu both talk about passion. You know I write everyday Inspector Echo but only when my feet get put to the fire. Tell me B III is hurt, a pretty girl is coming by, my car is damaged, and I’m out the door. Hell “Okay” and “Indiana Gone” both want me to get published, and I’m looking into it and buying my PS4′?

“But it’s only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve. This is our moment.” The Day the Earth Stood Still

Now if it isn’t my cowardice, I mean fear of everything, that I’ll be alone, that she won’t like me, or getting stuck. I still drag my feet, and that’s if I’m lucky, I was barely able to get out of bed, and of course, my mouth looks like I kicked myself. Anyway, I can’t be happy; I am on a slow trek of surviving but as lazy as I am if you count my blog. I have written nearly two novels, 120,000 words each, that’s something isn’t it but to what end. Again I turn to my motivations which say you must add value to the universe and no I’m not suicidal. Still tripping into a grave wouldn’t be such a bad thing Inspector.

“When you can’t run, you crawl, and when you can’t crawl – when you can’t do that…”

“You find someone to carry you.” The Message

A reason to find religion, only my son is so much stronger. I don’t mention his heart condition much and excuse me for waxing poetic. He has such love no wonder, but that’s dogs, in general, loving all us humans. How about the fact that even as a dominant I’ll fall to my knees over some boobs. Harley Quinn, The Lady in the (Blue) Dress, Okay, the list goes on. My those bouncy delights keep Heaven light because plenty of guys are going to Hell. A thought that makes me smile because I’m sure there are a lot of uglier things than me down there. THEY say it’s what’s inside that counts, but I am sorry Will’s Walking On Sunshine.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 247 ~Babe Will Baby Will~

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I was “The Walking Dead” at the Day Job this morning, and I asked myself, why do I do it, besides keeping BIII and myself fed; he cries when I’m gone I bet and I want to but if I had more family? Babe Will Baby Will

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Episode 247 ~Babe Will Baby Will~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, make a cure for Everything, Everything. Someone is working on a zombie virus right. When that happens, I’m going to be the man, a grim outlook on the future but when I’m with you baby girl?

In sickness and in health, isn’t that how the vows go and probably before anything else you’ll see me have a panic attack. Even now I want to say I’m sorry and to think I worry more about my teeth than my mental state, such is my vanity. Everything else is easy to cover up, even when I’m sweating because it may take a few years, but I will have the flu again. So I’ll be in a huff; I’m going to howl, and please help yourself to the store. I would be there for you, do I need to say that out loud, the good news is I rarely fall for more than a day. Some days you might ask was I looking more for a wife or somebody to ride out the apocalypse with me… no comment love.

As with the kids and their homework, I know I wanted to cry plenty, but I can tell you this, nobody here is stupid. Between dozens of numbers, getting a D on a test and being thankful and my “dad” I learned to be anything but him. Sure I learned how to count money, and I’m a stickler for being on time as usual. Only I never want to be the reason our children cry. Again with my many apologies, I still do when I step on B III’s paw, but when I give him a treat. If I bring tears, I want them to be of joy, and yes laughter still freaks me out a bit I wish you and all our progeny to be happy. Yeah, I’ll still be a prepper, part of the reason I guess I want to enjoy every moment.

I know when I’m going to cry. How much was it when we got the kids. So you can call me Noah if anything happens to Triple B. I’m going to be the man on the island, sorry that I can see that now. No, I wasn’t the man to cry seeing you in your wedding dress but knowing we’re together… Do I compare that to publishing my first book, going into business? Yes, things may get weird when my father dies, won’t be sad. If I thought crying more would save you tears, I would, but I want to be a man. If only you knew how many pretty girls brought out the waterworks in me before. Please remember above all else “I love you,” those three words are yours; Babe Will Baby Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 246 ~I’m An Ordinary Human, Sucks~

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“You did not wake up to be mediocre;” you are not average, phenomenal skill, phenomenal will, hell I would take being anything than what’s sitting on my couch, and my son is something but me? I’m An Ordinary Human, Sucks

Monday, March 4, 2019

Episode 246 ~I’m An Ordinary Human, Sucks~

Seventy-Fourth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, become a monster, a messiah, or a madness, hell being a writer. I have tried on all the caps, creatures, and contagious diseases to make myself more than HUMAN.

Monster sigh even more so today or don’t I wish. Again I want to give you some horrible backstory seeing as how I’m a novelist and all. Most though would declare it, Fake News, Fiction, or Flights of Fancy. Far from a fantasy or at least, it was while it was happening, so let me get this off my chest. God can I stop thinking about chest or more to the point BOOBS. The Harley Quinn cosplayer, the costly mom, a damn collection but yeah I came. Uglier than Freddy, I should wear a mask like Jason, and infected like a damn zombie but we’ll get to that. I’m a horny man, a human being.

You didn’t see me at work today; I might as well have strings coming out of my ass. (LANGUAGE) I know, but that sounds so much better than having people’s noses, nails, hell even whole heads up it. I tell you Madam Justice, the shit that comes out of my mouth (I’m Trying) is nothing compared to theirs. So I refuse to take part as I’ll drown in it and become even more disgusting as they think I am and I know I am this moment. Someone sang of the differences between monsters and man, but I am so much lower than that. Someone also said that it’s a disease this thing we call love. No this isn’t it Madam; what does this make a crazy little thing called LUST.

Madman, me, now that’s madness, and I barely call the man I see in the mirror a man. It’s like sticking a needle in my arm (which I’ve never) snorting any “powder” (Wrong white Lady Madam Justice). Or smoking something here or there, (never cigarettes) women are my addiction. For nearly two weeks, I’ve avoided any sign of you know who but yeah last night with the cosplayer. I’m not worried, being who I am I’ll be ignored. Then there are the words “Oh My Sweet Goddess” that led to my insanity, either that or Harley Quinn. But I… yeah I have a million excuses on how this day was supposed to turn out, but who could dare carry it out. A sick man like myself, a pretty girl appears and way down, we go, Human. Everyone, to our knees, be it prayer, primal instinct, or psychos; sick of this, I’m An Ordinary Human, Sucks.

I Will Have No Fear