Log 030 ~Four On Will’s Fairway~

Last week I talked about counting on me, and today it’s been hours at work, seven new Pinterest boards I believe, and I didn’t even broach the subject of a million dollars in one month, still not published. Four On Will’s Fairway.

Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Log 030 ~Four On Will’s Fairway~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and like Eric Thomas, I don’t play golf. Here I was expecting four days off when I have six. Sticking with the four though, I won’t tell you the story of “The Big D,” SIGH. For the record that was the first time, I fell in love. It’s why once upon a time Four was a lucky number as in Group 4. Should I tell you about Group Five Photosports; hell I wish. Yeah, I already broke down again. Fear The Walking Dead fantasies plus Kneeling Kinkster Kennedy. Let’s also add Kosame Dash: Letting It Air Out “Public Pickups” and some Angie Varona for good measure.

Never thought about it before but is that why I’m partial to the numbers three and five? You must forgive my scatterbrain, hell I’m going to need it over the next few days. For now, only one thing has been on my mind, and that’s walking out. I told “Cherry” a bit of this, but I got asked to come in today at the Day Job. Low and behold the first question out of the Manager’s mouth is “what are you doing today?” Dammit, Inspector Echo (LANGUAGE) I’m dominant for a reason. I like what I like; I know what I want. Well, “MILF Dos” might disagree, but I have quite the imagination. Anyway, so I blow up at her and the flower child and leave work thirty minutes early. So of course you know I have to worry this week and the next; it happens. Here’s the worrying list:

One job, one source of income, I can’t get fired.

Two girls I yelled at and two lives to worry about, me and B III

Three tacos from Burger King, they suck, Taco Bell forever

Four women that got me FAPPING again well six actually

Five tasks I did accomplish at the Day Job. Shelves cleaned, Trash, Upstairs hardware, Candles and Avengers display set-up, Stockroom

Only it’s never enough. I always tell myself. Hell, I was so out of it this morning with the fantasy and the madness. I didn’t make the bed, and when I got back hell, I’ve been zoned out. I value myself and my time, but I ate those nasty tacos and played around on Pinterest. 158 Sections on one board.

Forgive me Inspector Echo, like Trump, Four On Will’s Fairway

I Will Have No Fear

Log 029 ~First Time For Will~

My first time… falling in love, the second time, the third, hell I have kind of lost count and the first, last, and the only motif, well these days I’m just there, and I have better things to do than wait, but still, I dream. First Time For Will

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Log 029 ~First Time For Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and what do you do with a million dollars? You know how I want to quote Office Space right now? Speaking of a movie about work, I don’t want to rant about that anymore today. Baby Girl, you’ll hear me go off every day, that is until the book is published. When I get the business up and running. How about the studio and everything else? Today I want to talk about, first, last, and only? As long as we’re not recounting that “first time” honestly my love let’s not okay.

Let’s think more like the time you and I first met. You know the saying about how time flies, well not here? I could give you all the clichés. I believe love is an acceptable form of suicide. How glad I am I didn’t say those words? Another saying is if I had to do t all over AGAIN. Look I like Lenny Kravitz as much as the next guy, but no I wouldn’t want to repeat this road. I’m glad I found you, but my life has been The Maze Runner. Yes, another movie reference? I like introducing you to movies, that’s my whole control thing again. You are stepping into my world as I step into yours, “Melancholia” one more film. I never saw it, but it’s about two planets colliding, and with you, it felt like nothing would ever be the same.

Everything with me is always to the extreme, I know. Somebody I can survive the zombie apocalypse with ha. You don’t laugh if I want to build an armory and a prepper stash. You’ll be the last person to know me, hell the only one. I want you to be the last person I will ever hurt. If you didn’t know how you wouldn’t be mine. My love, you could be the only love to make B III give up his spot. Might you be the last time I ever have to fear a woman? Well, I’m sure our daughters finding love, yeah that would scare the crap out of me at some point. Should I tell you about the first time, I knew I was in love. The start of an obsession. Multiple times I sent women heading for the hills? To have a woman say “I Do,” Hey Lover, First Time For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 028 ~Always Be Prepared For War~

Last week I talked about people giving orders, but I once heard in a game “a man chooses, a slave obeys” I never chose to be this way, no I was a slave of my looks, my words, my desires things that make me want to fight. Always Be Prepared For War ha

Monday, July 29, 2019

Log 028 ~Always Be Prepared For War~

Ninety-Fifth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, but I am not ready for power. Like today Madam Justice I was not prepared for war. Every day I gird myself for disappointment. I know that my days at the Day Job will bring about more humiliation. Last week was nothing but one fuck-up (LANGUAGE) after another worried about this week. In the morning, I tell myself I’ll wake up early to read, and then I cut my alarm off. I want to fight temptation, and then I have horrific FTWD fantasies. Worst thought I was not down for the cause, again ready for wickedness, winning, for war.

So what brought this on, my C-3PO feelings of being helpless. How do you even define helpless? “Unable to defend oneself or to act without help.” There’s “Uncontrollable,” I think that about covers it Madam Justice. No positive vibes today but I still no better than to wish harm. However, I couldn’t stop three girls from laughing at me. My General Manager continues to treat me like I’m retarded. The usual manager is useless and treats me as a child. Haven’t I mentioned he’s pretty touchy-feely? Weak, Pathetic, Useless, I’m going against all my motivations right now. If it wasn’t that, it was fucking anger (LANGUAGE) today, I wanted to fight no doubt. I tried to march into the GM’s office all day. “Look I’m leaving, I’m not some fucking retard, and not some damn virus” (YES AGAIN). It was like being back in school with both teams saying you take him he’s not wanted.

Is that why I’m taking what’s going on in my country so personally. From metal to a man that controls it, Magneto; I know what it’s like to be shit on for everything (MORE). It’s because you’re black, skinny, fucked up teeth, you wear the same clothes. I know what it’s like to wear a FUBU shirt (youth) and be sitting by yourself the very next day. I see how easy people have it, the laws. Still, because there is work to do people like me are considered ungrateful. Rule 13 states Power Is All That Matters. Like Markus in DBH, (still a great game) if people want to crack jokes and tear me down okay. Use their stones for fortresses, the pen and keyboard are my swords. Hellfire is how my armor’s forged;, they instilled it in the flesh. Always Be Prepared For War.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 027 ~Will You Name Me~

Again more work I should be doing with Lady Sophia, but someone said “Life Finds A Way,” or if I want my kid to keep living the life he has and what about my other books these days. “Will You Name Me”

Sunday, July 28, 2019

Log 027 ~Will You Name Me~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, and you should keep that same hustle if you want to be a billionaire. Big Dog, Big Nuts, as Lamar Davis would put it in GTA V. Last week we spoke a bit about some characters and yours. Lamar was a good one, and you’ve been lost some in Wolfenstein: Youngblood. *SIGH” Jessie and Sophie Blazkowicz along with Abby. How about getting back into DBH as well. I know you deserve a break after “Fangs For Coming” talk about becoming disillusioned. The blurb when over as expected, nonsense, nope to caring, and no characters. Hell, you barely found the title, might stick.

So that’s what today will be about, besides your list of failure, how’s that for success? You should be mowing the lawn but of course, yesterday was a bust, my fault. I make things so hard for you, I know. B III needs his meds, and you’ll get them. Of course, you’re also downloading oodles of porn like Sofi Ryan “Carpool Pickup.” Worst okay Megan Marx “Teeny Tiny Teen” Instagram. Before you forget Whitney Wright something or other and Carrie “Fuck Your Job” and “Model For Me.” As the song goes, “ It’s times like these, you learn to love again.” You’re not counting it as watching porn. (Didn’t even get hard) It’s work, research; adult entertainment is your purpose. So work on characters and yeah those Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Naming My Novel And Writing A Back Cover Of It
    Completed
  4. I AM Reviewing The Five
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing For NaNoWriMo, A New Novel
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Beauty in the Broken: A Diamond Magnate Novel by
    Charmaine Pauls Failed
  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Naming My Novel And Writing A Back Cover Of Another
  4. I AM Reviewing The Five
  5. I AM Bringing My Email Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Beauty in the Broken: A Diamond Magnate Novel by
    Charmaine Pauls

Wies Andres Barringer (The Beast)
Once he was a guardian of the works of the First Master with knowledge of The Tools Of The Gods. After his home is destroyed in an attempt to contain “The Air of Aeolus” a.k.a. Project Levitation he was kidnapped. Serving the Mistress Director as an Executioner. Married to Briseis and “Canvas” to Skelly Kemper.

Briseis Rosalie Barringer (The Machine)
Former slave girl, bought by the Mistress Director as a wife to The Beast. After her first night taken, she is found to have an immunity to the virus, which creates more beasts. Hating her life at first, she loves The Beast above all others.

Skelly Horatio Kemper (The Artist)
Keeper of The Fangs of Momus. A former brain surgeon turned Tattoo Artist; he sketches the faces of The Beast victims. With both blood and ink, he scars and decorates The Beast’s back. Because of The Beast and Fangs, it’s possible to clone, human beings

Desdemona Autumn Price (Mistress Director)
A Beast herself she hides this fact from those she commands. Scornful of most men her most loyal are either women or Eunuchs. She uses The Beast to punish any who may oppose. She seeks to keep her powers and The Tools of The Gods.

Cassandra Katelin Holloway (The Believer)
Servant of one of The Salamanders from “Apocalypse Rush.” A true believer in her Master, “The Dragon.” Willing to die in his name but cares for other human lives. She is the second immune found, in part to sleeping with Dragon. Hates the Mistress Director.

Tegan Cassie Barringer
Little sister to Briseis and slave belonging to Skelly. Due to his service for the Mistress Director and his true love for Briseis he now possesses Tegan. She knows no other desire but quickly becomes conflicted with Skelly’s actions. Naïve about the world and how Briseis survives.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 026 ~Worrying Winds Of Will~

What’s the point of waking up to worry, to breathe so others can use such valuable air only to make you regret your last one and why not count my blessing of being near an AC? “Worrying Winds Of Will”

Saturday, July 27, 2019

Log 026 ~Worrying Winds Of Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and I still worry. I said a few times that the more you have, the scarier it gets. More money more problems like the song. You know I would give anything for such huge concerns. If you asked me what scares me the most these days, it would be my voice. I’ve never been one to blow hot air, to talk rather than breathe. To this day I can’t stand people that talk about A Quiet Place. You know, “why didn’t they build a home next to the waterfall?” People desperate for their voices, Lady Lu.

One day I need to write a review on that reasoning. Would it be any better than me talking at a Drive-Thru? How about talking on the phone? I swear if one more person refers to me as Ma’am? You know that’s one more reason I’m on Brainbuddy and I’m still screwing up. It says that overtime your voice becomes stronger, manlier, hell I’m back starting at day one. Positive vibes, I did do the exercises today and woke up on time. It doesn’t matter though because how do people see me, but that’s another good thing I usually don’t care. More to the point I’m worried about how people see our conversations, all of them My Lady. One more reason I’m not going for a paperback novel, other than being cheap or damn lazy?

Yeah, I worry about how much money fans in my hands. This morning I was nervous because I thought the AC had cut out. I’m a man that’s scared to call his Olds, and I shouldn’t have to because I’m an “adult?” Yesterday it was the fact that I almost killed B III because he was begging for BBQ and he looked like he might choke. Hell, I thought I might never get from under my sheets this morning. I’m always on high alert when I take Triple B for his walk. I can’t even carry “Lucille” to protect us because somebody ahem (white neighbors) might call the cops. The state of my country and I shiver more at the thought of my people like they say I’m not black enough. How about all those keyboard warriors than might read my cover blurb today ha?

WORRY goes on my list of triggers right STUPID, FEAR, but nobody cares for second or third right? Nobody but me, Worrying Winds Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 025 ~Out Of Ideas Will~

From fiction to the real world, though I always like to think I’ll be a hell of a survivor in the coming war against the dead, chances are I’ll be a corpse in bed, flipping a coin of what will make me get up, oh wait? Out Of Ideas Will

Friday, July 19, 2019

Log 025 ~Out Of Ideas Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now but not if I keep buying naughty coins. Using my money to buy play money; oh the irony. It’s like a writer writing about an author. I get it, but to me, it sounds like cannibalism. My last two stories, one character owned a bookstore. The one I recently finished was somewhat of a firebrand preacher. Wouldn’t you know it I fulfilled that lady preacher’s prophecy that I would somehow be a Reverend? Now I’m not saying I heard the voice of God. Still, orgasms are a divine state of affairs.

Yesterday I told Dirty Diana that I couldn’t take a naked woman only on that fact. It’s why I know Tessa Taylor Bang Bus “Everglades Adventure.” Cassy “Classy Cassy” SBJ or Maggie Green, site: My Friend’s Hot Mom. Before you nail me for being inappropriate, I respect all of the actresses. I even remember Lauren Cohan from TWD as Maggie Greene/Rhee. If anything this makes me better than most Republicans. I acknowledge evidence of wrongdoing. The point is. However, I keep doing it, over and over, twice today. The oldest crimes in the newest ways but that’s Inspector Echo’s call. I wish I could tell you a new story a happier tale. No, if it’s not naked girls, it’s fear. I think that’s it Lady Sophia, sex or hell Fapping makes me fearless. In a world full of mind-numbing terror, but I’ll do it myself.

I worry about my next breakdown when it comes to porn, so I learn to write some. My novels have the main character yours truly, of course. Usually, whoever pissed me off at the moment; at least three stories have the “basic bitch.” There’s a brothel featuring every girl under the sun, Unforgivable sins and tons of blood and/or an orgy. I don’t want to be Taylor Swift, either finding people to make me feel bad. Disney rehashes the same ideas, but like them, I want world domination. Another storyboard trope. Most of all though I want to quit sitting here with a hundred emails to read. Waking up only went I’m horny, hungry or damn near helpless. I want to tell stories of B III having a happy life. Not just guarding me in my depression if that’s what this is, I don’t know.

Help myself right, Lady Sophia but Out Of Ideas Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 024 ~Will Come The Silence~

I’m the strong silent type, well minus the strong I suppose, but I always get that I’m a great listener but whoever listens to me and there are so many things you can do in bed other than that thing. “Will Come The Silence” sometimes, but what’s next

Thursday, July 25, 2019

Log 024 ~Will Come The Silence~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now but shush. Now you know I’m one for moans, whimpers, and screams, yeah I’m no good with dialogue novel wise. Anyway, there is something to be known about the sound of silence. Now should I take the crass route and talk about women gagging. You know choosing a dick over-breathing. How about the use of sex toys though I buy women beautiful lingerie for a reason. There’s also the whole “stalker” angle sigh. Let me reiterate the fact that I’ve never done that, shocker right?

What I mean is I’ve never been one to watch a porno, naked women are everywhere. When I see a particular actress that I like, I have to find her video history. I’m hopeless sometimes in my way. Take, for example, Hayden Bell; she did Sweet Slurpee for Reality Kings. I know a few of her movies, but Street Blowjobs is my favorite. I like Whitley Wright from Prom Night and maybe one other film. My point is dominants study submissives. A one-night stand is one thing but to study a particular woman, to have a personal connection. Again I’m not talking hidden cameras or hiding that type of thing. It’s feeling something beyond language and hell what happens if I tell the truth? What about if I try to be nice? I hate playing Cyrano de Bergerac, not again.

I’ve said it often enough I love Saturday mornings lying in bed with a woman. You know I’ve got my 40’s and 50’s Nuclear Pop, the only time I listen anymore. How about reading a book in bed or on the loveseat? A trip to the library or the movies? You know I think that’s the ticket, intimacy you hear it in the silence. As the song goes, “but words sometimes get in the way.” It’s always spoiled things for me. I know that much is true. If I can’t talk, why should she right? Dirty Diana with my current body issues better I not talk at all. Still, there is the problem of communication, one more reason for a submissive. She learns to anticipate a dominant no words required. In a way that’s my novel but where does the time go these days wow.

Wanted to talk about The Beast and the Dead, and frozen vengeance but you know I Will Come The Silence.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 023 ~Counting On You Will~

Hurt oh let me count the ways but shouldn’t I count my blessings, how I hate the church, but those habits die hard, and I sort of feel like I’m dying from my side to my overabundance of sleep. “Counting On You Will”

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Log 023 ~Counting On You Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now so you would think I could buy a heart. Hell like The Legend of Zelda the truth is I’m living on some. Didn’t Stevie Wonder talk about living enough, yes I know the lyrics. Only I don’t need my “writing resource” penalizing me again. Speaking of which that is what I’m counting up, crimes, slings, and arrows, other pains. For example, I have to report to Brainbuddy again, like rehab, you know. I woke up after a long nap and of course what happens well happened.

So should I blame “Sweet Slurpee Hayden Bell” from Reality Kings? Perhaps one Pinterest board that now has 151 Sections. Yes, I still plan on owning a brothel one day. I wonder how many girls Dennis Hof had on his roster at any one time? Of course, the Milf isn’t helping. Besides those numbers, there’s the list of aliments I’m suffering through today. How many ribs are broken, not for real? I go for days not thinking about my perfect ears but then again? Mornings are getting weird besides being so tired, but of course, I don’t have a schedule. Case and point we’re talking, and I should be reading. I need to drink more water, There’s never enough hours in the day, and my email is going to explode. What about getting my book published again, for Kindle only?

I think the title is an adequate sentiment, “Gulp.” As far as other book titles, the one I finished, “Fangs For Coming” or how about “Faces Only Fangs Could Love?” The blurb still requires more writing than I’m willing to do right now. Anyway, this week haven’t I mention gratitude, being grateful, hell the ideas keep coming. I have more food than I know what to do with Inspector Echo. If anything, I need to eat more or change my diet. The fact that I can is quite a blessing. How about the fact that I can wear jeans at work all the time now? B III has plenty of time I keep saying to myself because I refuse to think otherwise. I protect him from the negative plus he doesn’t understand the news. I’ll say it, I love my country but hate the President. Now my day job and the people, that’s a question.

I’m sorry I hate Math Echo, Counting On You Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 022 ~Love Will Sound Like~

The only PERSON’s opinion that should mean anything is my own and possibly the girl I marry, should I also include my furbaby anyway, a girl said something today and let’s say my earphones will be on. Love Will Sound Like

Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Log 022 ~Love Will Sound Like~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but I don’t need a hearing aid. Old as I am, as loud as the world is, I should be grateful. One of my many motivations today stressed the importance of showing gratitude. I’m thankful my ears are healthy, hell perfect. I didn’t have to listen to A&W; I did get through my Meditation. One more afternoon of people showing me who they are, to be honest. You know what I usually don’t hear, those three little words. I love you.

It’s not that they don’t exist; it’s just that people don’t make them matter. When there was only me and B III, I said them all the time and meant them. Do you know what he said in return? He growled when he knew I was upset and looked for something to fight. My “father” and nephew stopped by, and he barked at the gate, wanting them to go away. Let’s not talk about my dad, and I don’t know any of my nephews enough to form an opinion. Triple B cries when I’m hurt and lies on the affected area. No wonder I thought a bug flew in my ear, too much toxicity at work. Yeah, people talk too damn much. I hear the clack of his nails on the floor, or the pitter-patter, a bath, and a nail grind are needed. He huffs, and he puffs, letting me know to get off my behind and do something anything.
Talk about having a purpose.

Now you tell me you love me, and again I am grateful. I feel undeserving sometimes I know, it even scares me a bit. You want to know when I hear it baby girl. Those Saturdays we lie here for two or three hours and imagine we’re the only two people left in the world. Please don’t let our kids be jocks? A cappuccino when I’m working or hot chocolate when I finish, coffee umm eww. Those times you sing to me because every day I’m losing my voice. How we watch some movie, I’ve seen a dozen times, and you’re surprised or pepper me with questions. Those nights we rant together about what they did to poor Prince Henry or Queen Daenerys. I can pretend I don’t hear some STUPID girl in my ear because I’m coming home to you. Love Will Sound Like

“You’re a good man,
(Will.)
And it doesn’t matter what
anyone else thinks but me.” movie Death Race – 2008

I Will Have No Fear

Log 021 ~Give Orders You Would Follow~

Camp NaNoWriMo, well general NaNoWriMo says 50,000 words, so I get it done, Brainbuddy suggest a podcast, and I listen to a bit, and of course, B III demands his morning stroll, when will someone follow me. Give Orders You Would Follow

Monday, July 22, 2019

Log 021 ~Give Orders You Would Follow~

Ninety-Fourth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, and you can be too. Yeah, I sound like one of my many motivations, Eric Thomas, Tom Bilyeu, Ray Lewis, etc. A better way of saying today’s rule might be Practice What You Preach. Yesterday, for example, I told myself I was going to finish my story, and I did so. Because Camp NaNoWriMo says, you can write 50,000 words in 30 days I finished. Even this morning, while I was on Brainbuddy for once. I read about this podcast, Porn Free Radio #185 How Successful Guys Overcome Edging.

My point is Madam Justice is I want to be a leader. You can’t lead, though unless you know what it means to follow. In my experience, I have known too many corrupt leaders. I always speak about the men that I admire. In these past days, I can add many more women. Don’t look at me like that, I respect women despite my BDSM teachings and dirty talk. Hell in my novel, the head honcho was a woman, the Mistress Director, and she’s a female I despise. Sadly though the leaders I’m surrounded by either make me laugh or make my blood boil. There’s the General Manager at the Day Job, A&W, my “father,” more. I want to be the best leader I can be for those who would follow. I’m a traditionalist, and I believe that a man, a husband, a father must lead his family, you know.

Any true leader of men, a commander, a general, a king, must be willing to die for those he leads. You know I’m not afraid to die, I’m scared to look STUPID. Madam Justice that remains my trigger. The fear that those under my charge will know failure because of my direction. They will know dejection, destruction, and death, and I will not do that to anyone. Strangely enough, my leaders lead me to such things. Brainbuddy is one of the few things that drive me towards being a better person. Rather than hating myself. If you give orders that should be the goal, for betterment. Soldiers will die to protect their families, their country. A submissive and dominant are both set free with their power. My son is happy because he knows I defend him, rethink the leash dynamic.

“Higher, Faster, Further baby” didn’t I say I respect women; Give Orders You Would Follow.

I Will Have No Fear