Month: September 2019

Log 091 ~Curiosity Almost Kills You, Almost~

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Almost doesn’t count, what about school, the things I didn’t want to learn I barely got by; if I so much as said “hi” that was a threat the way some tell it, so I had to stick to shadows which made it worse still. “Curiosity Almost Kills You, Almost”

Monday, September 30, 2019

Log 091 ~Curiosity Almost Kills You, Almost~

Hundred And Fourth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and also a time traveler. Yes, here we go again trying to stay ahead of the game. You know I say that, but I haven’t played Heavy Rain in about a month. Now you think I would be curious about how it ends; as if I don’t know. First off I don’t get interested, I get paranoid. Secondly my curiosity. Maybe any sign of interest is usually mistaken for something more sinister. Take, for example, my new page looking for models. A woman signs up she’s interested and then not, file deleted.

How about that time I got a hacking notice while hard tagging shoes? Hell, I was panicking calling the phone company about nothing. I mentioned modeling, and you’ve seen what a pretty girl does to me Madam Justice. I am proud to say that half of what I’ve written down today is pretty positive. The rest is from YouTube to TeenStarlet, and Xvideos. On top of my social anxiety and bipolar disorder, I could add ADHD. What, so I’m a doctor now; yeah I checked out WebMD? Now I could be too plugged into everything. I’m bound to get into trouble someday. I focus on three things Writing, Women, and Warfare, in nearly everything. Of course, you’ve seen my writing is going nowhere, and I don’t like hurting people. Well, outside of the bedroom, sadist and all so yes women.

I’m a massive fan of horror movies. In Log 90, I talked about zombies which are my favorites. Next would be the Saw franchise; I would be so dead. Any way you look at Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers, they don’t scare me. It’s never the scars, masks, or the weapons but what lies underneath. I look at my son, and he doesn’t hide a thing on his face. It’s when you keep digging, knowing he’s sick. Wanting to know anything is the worse type of torture and when you make the discovery? It’s why I should stick to porn hmm because I know plenty of pretty girls. The thing is contrary to my blog and every aspect of life I don’t want to hide. Doesn’t that make me a killer though because when you’re curious you’re alive? Hell, I should put that on my resume; a gravedigger, yep creepy right?

Digging holes but never filling, Curiosity Almost Kills You, Almost.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 090 ~Will Build A Lot~

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Last week I may myself a judge and coming into this week, I’m trying so very hard to stay positive with a few career paths for consideration, of course there is always me in the parking lot of the Day Job questioning why. “Will Build A Lot”

Sunday, September 29, 2019

Log 090 ~Will Build A Lot~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now; see I told you I was going to change that. Now there is plenty you should change. Your job, your attitude, hell your whole damn life (LANGUAGE). Only as the title suggests you’re not changing anything, you’re building. Donald Trump slept with pornstars, and you still don’t want to be him. Last night I was sitting there thinking about the man I am. The man that potential model lost interest in when it comes to the GULP project. On everything, I love I’m a writer but then again a job change Will.

Today you feel sort of like a zombie. If it’s one type of monster, you respect it’s the living dead. Walkers don’t stop, they only hunger for flesh, and you have to stop the brain for them to find peace. All of yesterday and this morning you keep thinking what you did wrong. What about becoming a private investigator? You don’t believe in hunting animals but knowing about people? Now isn’t that the great question but you need to know you first. “THEY,” say you can understand a person by their friends which by, last count is two. There is also the idea of becoming a museum curator. You like looking over beautiful things, relics of the past and or the future. The library around here is decent, but you would send another girl running. Speaking of stories, why not try another Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 034 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 041 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Gaining One Patron Or One Model For Patreon
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Again, The Art of the Pimp: One Man’s Search for Love, Sex, and Money
    Failed

I know you have a thing for routine but ridiculous. Back to one and you’re barely hanging on with that possibility. It’s like a bookstore with no customers and hell no books seeing as how you’re working on GULP still. If I’m honest, working retail sucks unless you’re a salesman the likes of Dennis Hof. How about all the collections you want to buy and tomorrow is the day. People talk about retail therapy, but what do you want? Erotic books, research materials, and women. Yeah you’re more a retail anatomy type of guy. The STUPIDEST thing is all these jobs. Infection, spying, pretty collections, a business in the ground and more women. At this rate you could become president, but you stick to being a parking lot attendant with the same Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 034 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Gaining One Patron Or One Model For Patreon
  6. I AM Finishing Again, The Art of the Pimp: One Man’s Search for Love, Sex, and Money

When are they leaving, when will you stop paving paradise to put up a parking lot? Will Build A Lot.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 089 ~Who’s The Boss Will~

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Last week it was the idea of speaking at the Day Job, now I have to talk as the CEO of Second Circle Creations and as an author but as the song goes “Who gon’ pray for me?” Who’s The Boss Will, well I hate my managers, time to live the Dream Job

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Log 089 ~Who’s The Boss Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and I’ll be changing that come Sunday. One more thing in my pressing matters that I talked about yesterday. From being a slave to the Day Job. To stealing the plans for the Death Star, (my cash is in a Death Star). Then I am a friend to “Indiana Gone.” What about my Firstborn; now he is going to be pissed. All of that and now I have this moment. Well, minus the girl and getting up on time. Today though I don’t have time to lounge around for two hours.

Who’s the boss, well I did mention my Firstborn? He needed water, of course, so I stopped and got a bottle for myself. I cleaned his bathroom pad. In less than an hour he’ll be chomping at the bit for his walk. Parenthood but my child is the boss, and he knows of course. Okay in speaking of my dog what about the Basic Bitch (LANGUAGE)? I still hate to admit that I quit talking to you for so many years, Lady Luna. One girl calls me skeevy and here we are heading into the third year; what is the point? Hell, Porn has a point though I don’t have time for that right now either. Is it women or my penis that’s making the calls for me right now. I should say emails or texts, and there’s still time. Did I feel this way meeting Indiana Gone at first?

The Man In The Mirror is usually my Sunday gig. You know who I want to meet now though, The CEO of Second Circle Creations. He’s the man that writes the stories, picks the girls, directs the films, and God knows what else. Hell, I am not a man for prayer, but I could use some. I know plenty might say that about the men I look to as heroes. Lady Lu I’m not even getting that far right now, this is only a modeling job. Something I’m putting a lot of stake in and Tom Bilyeu would say the fear is right. It proves I care. Still a few parts of me wants to be the man that could win by words alone. Didn’t I say third year? I wish I could be like Katie O’Shaughnessy on YouTube. Now if I could do something beautiful and positive. My life, lust, Who’s The Boss Will?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 088 ~Pressing Matters For Will~

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Not so worried about today as I am tomorrow, sort of a make or break moment and what will it lead to, more words and when those words are said, written, typed, will I be free, happy, or only stuck, so much on the way. “Pressing Matters For Will”

Friday, September 27, 2019

Log 088 ~Pressing Matters For Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but I wanna be a Billionaire as the song goes. It’s as easy as pressing a button at the Day Job today. A Revelation if you will; also it’s my favorite book in the Bible. No, I haven’t cracked open a Bible in months, maybe a year. The closest I’ve got is the “Bunny Bible” in Dennis Hof’s book. It’s quite the enlightening read but as I’ve said, pressing matters. For example, one million dollars that’s my song of choice isn’t it “If I Had $1,000,000” by the Barenaked Ladies ha.

Hell, I have the chance to see a bare naked lady tomorrow. Why is it I’m worrying more about my dream job than I do the Day Job? It’s the difference between digging a grave and breaking through the glass ceiling as “THEY” say. To quote another song, “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” I remember Chris Rock talking about being black in America. You for damn sure better be doing something positive (LANGUAGE). Something that both jobs have in common somehow. I wouldn’t say I’m doing a good thing now. Well, I wasn’t a while ago drooling over Violet Myers. It’s always research Lady Sophia. If I get a girl to do a shower scene, that means I need those pretty bottle washes. A girl’s make-up and hair will get screwed up in a nude scene. I’m learning, aren’t I?

The thing is I don’t mind worrying about such things, while on the Day Job I worry about everything. How about money, one of the managers begging me to come in tomorrow. I’m going after the Dream rather than the Day. So what was I doing going to sleep? I always feel so lazy. Didn’t I work seven hours for them but don’t want to give a moment to myself. Press a button and open a book to a great man. No, I instead continue to replay the words of people I hate. Of course, this leads me back to today because I don’t hate a million dollars. Lady Sophia, I want so much more, but I’m scared to go out there and get it, fucking comfort zone (LANGUAGE). I press pen to paper, so many buttons, my head on a pillow, but what am I saying or publishing SIGH.

Life’s Pressing Matters For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 087 ~Wil’s Gift Of Gag~

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These days you have to get everything in writing and on video, but still being a black man in America, hell a man like me, somethings, it’s better to keep your mouth shut and how I try. Will’s Gift Of Gag.

Thursday, September 26, 2019

Log 087 ~Wil’s Gift Of Gag~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but should I be spreading that around? Well, I got my first model interview and how long did it take me to tell her that? What about my first model period; as the song goes “I’m begging.” Hell when I first met “Indiana Gone” I took her to a place where you can’t talk. Relax Dirty Diana, it was too the movies and speaking of which, what have I been watching these days; um research?

Yeah, I still have MILF Dos’s videos, and the greatest thing ever is hearing her moan my name. Next to that would be all the messages my Gig has received. Of course as I said, only one of those has panned out. I talked to a would-be scammer for a while remember. Three promising women have yet to get back to me at all. Me and my big mouth doesn’t go with any job nowadays. I’m still a big believer in Co-Ed Confidential’s James when he said “vote with your crotch.” All the more I understand why I do what I sometimes do? If I wasn’t on NO FAP would I still feel the same way? Like Dennis Hof, most men nut and go to sleep. He went looking for the next party. Sex keeps most of us awake right? In those hours though I instead not be talking Diana.

Again while I praise voices raised in ecstasy, you know how I value silence. Take, for example, that girl in Black Widow Vol. 2. Now that was a neat little mouth toy they gave her when she was theirs. You know it could be my fear of saying something well; STUPID. I still hate that word but what do I have to offer; idiocy makes beauty downright atrocious. Am I not down to fuck an idiot? I believe Carlos Mencia said, “if you are a D, please don’t marry a D.” Not that I’m going that far, Dirty Diana. Why don’t I be the man who likes blowjobs? Could it explain the appeal of a songstress? I still have that fantasy of a woman with her panties in her mouth. How about this, do I fear rejection so much? MILF Dos took an excellent opportunity; this model gets an interview.

I should talk to someone, don’t you think Dirty Diana? Only Will’s Gift Of Gag.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 086 ~Will For A Living~

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Thinking of the could be humiliations kept me from a real one; I’m not living a past life I’m living in the what-if, and probably the best thing of all is that is what I call this existence as a father, businessman, entrepreneur? “Will For A Living.”

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Log 086 ~Will For A Living~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, but I’ll let somebody else handle the retail. For once, it would be nice to have a job where I don’t get sick every day. One where there isn’t any rage or I’m bored out of my mind. How about where I have enough to blow it on Hookers and Cocaine. I’m kidding of course Inspector Echo, but you know what isn’t a joke? Let’s see wasting most of a “Tuesday” afternoon, no. I got a message from a potential model today. Of all the things I organize in my life, women make me GASPS happy.

So yeah explain Melanie Rios, Abbey Brooks and Lane/Audrey Holiday. What about Kagney Linn Karter, Melody Parker, and that video of the girl with Uncle Harry. Hell, I wonder if he still alive; anyway Tia Monae, Cat Morris, Liz Vicious and Lizz Tayler? You know my grandfather was a P.I. Does it run in the family that’s how I’m so sure about my model? But she did fill out the form, so it wasn’t much tracking, but she’s the real deal. Now we get to the section of the story where I stumble, the return email. First I was late, still working out some kinks. Second, as always wondering; are you sure. Even if I wasn’t, this is getting in the door somewhat. Last I had two other girls and now that I know Craigslist wasn’t fucking up (LANGUAGE). Yeah, it was whatever I said.

I wish I could say I feel fantastic but notice that list of women. A miracle I’m still on NO FAP. Again it does beat going to the Day Job. Yes, one more sin imagining something worse. Oh like I’m not already a slave to my phone and tomorrow I’ll have to message to see what’s what. A job where I won’t have to feel ashamed every time I get out of bed. Where do I do most of my writing, and I’m still not at the dining room table. Didn’t even write that much today but I’m trying to stay one jump ahead. I might never write for Disney, but I have plenty of life goals. Tomorrow I could be a photographer or should I say I am, Law Of Attraction isn’t that right?

I am sorry though getting all excited, worried, and scared, but Will For A Living.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 085 ~Woman’s Will Is Complicated~

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I refuse to have a woman that doesn’t know what I do, this isn’t Lord Of War; of all the “Sin Stocks” I’ve studied, weapons don’t sit well with me “says the man that wants an armory” I got a crazy little thing called love. Woman’s Will Is Complicated

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Log 085 ~Woman’s Will Is Complicated~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but not Toby from roots. Well, you know I agree with him on the “I’m never going to be a Christian man.” I’m a writer My Love, I don’t bow to gods, I create them. At the same time, I’m one for the Ghetto Gospel of Tupac. So many men to listen to, is it any wonder I chose my business. Eric Thomas says that what he does, you can’t go to school and get that. My teachers as I say often enough, Dennis Hof, Hugh Hefner have passed. Larry Flynt was shot when he started. Others have been arrested or scare me in some ways.

If I upset you don’t stress, never forget
That God isn’t finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes I go blind and let the Lord do his thang
Tupac Shakur Ghetto Gospel

Now usually I don’t like to talk about my business dealings. Yeah, I know I don’t like to talk period. Hell, I want to know what makes my Firstborn happy. I never want my kids to fear me as I do my father. Asking for your father’s blessing? SIGH, because asking his permission, wait, aren’t I a traditionalist? If I asked my father for life, well after I arrive, it would be something like Independence Day. My mother, on the other hand, she wouldn’t approve of my path at all. The thing is she would never stop me either. At least I hope so, as the song goes, be a simple kind of man. If I may play you another “I wanna know what turns you on.” Okay you know how I am with my music, how about a joke? Eve was the first woman to decide what she wanted to eat… look how that turned out. Okay, I tried.

My lifestyle is listening to women, but my life is listening to you. I want to lead my family, but like everything else, I’ll admit, I have no idea what I’m doing. Like I tell my friends all the time, I don’t want to be STUPID, and I definitely don’t want to look that way. So I refer everyone to Washington, Lincoln, Franklin. I watch some other creators. Only as my motivations would say, the power lies in taking responsibility. I do, isn’t that what I told everybody, and if you think I talk about our wedding too much? Hell, again, my business of creating what I desire and let’s say the law of attraction.

Only do you love me always, Woman’s Will Is Complicated.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 084 ~When Does A King Kneel~

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“There is a king in me” as the song goes or I should research a bit of history because it might be easier to find than the things I have been looking for on any given day; enough to bring anyone to their knees. “When Does A King Kneel”

Monday, September 23, 2019

Log 084 ~When Does A King Kneel~

Hundred And Third Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Millionaire right now and soon to be “Like A Boss” as the kids say nowadays. Not today and not tomorrow and yeah I hear you saying and why not. Too busy being a time traveler. Yes, I want to have that moment where The Day Job will be nothing but a horrible memory. I’m sure I will have a woman somewhere to thank for that luck. No, let’s call it something else, like perseverance. Now such a thing requires me to be on my feet or punching these keys daily.

Now’s not the time to sleep, so what else can I do Madam Justice? As the song goes, Run Boy Run, and we’ve talked about it stemming from fear. Eric Thomas says you have to attack the fight, but I still hate math class. Only when was I in a class last, and today (Sunday) I was only counting money. Of course, that leads me to research. If I’m not on the keys, I should be like Bill Gates and read books faster. I’ve been listening to way too many motivations last week, which leads me to my point. When does a king kneel, there is no porno for dummies (LANGUAGE). You know how I feel about words like that but back to the point. Madam Justice there is no master to teach me how. I wanted to go into stocks, but there are none, or I’m not looking hard enough. Of course, I’m looking for actresses, Saturday was bust.

Again I was on my knees this morning counting up the cash, so that’s why I’m starting with modeling. I have my Firstborn, so I’m always kneeling to clean up after the kid and cuddle. One should stop and smell the roses too or play games; I haven’t done either lately. No Madam Justice when I kneel, I’m hiding. Care to take a knee for a noble cause? Never I’m at the fucking Day Job (LANGUAGE). The man who would be king falls out of pain and service. Now I don’t mind service, but the question is how. Again I’m studying other artists on Patreon and adult entertainment. Why would anyone pay $75.00 for a naked character in something I’ve written myself? Do I believe people would fall so quickly, well haven’t I Madam Justice?

Am I a man hmm? When Does A King Kneel?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 083 ~The Will To Judge~

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Some would call me a stalker, a scam artist, even skeevy, which is the second worse word but I would say I’m pretty much a shallow S.O.B no offense to my mother only look at what I want to do with my life. “The Will To Judge”

Sunday, September 22, 2019

Log 083 ~The Will To Judge~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, and the Man in the Mirror. It’s a little too late for Michael Jackson quips. Not that you need any real reminder, but I’m not Martin Luther King Jr either. So are we done focusing on the men you would never be, how about the man you’re becoming? It took me about two days to get back to the table, but here you are, so you have me beat. Of course today is about who are you to judge but wasn’t that my last night, talking to that potential model, yeah right.

Still no temptations, and not counting it as porn but research. Sometime this week I talked about finding that Kaelin Monroe “Rieger” passed away. I downloaded two out of three Kagney Linn Karter scenes. Oh, where are you “Smack My Naughty Ass” ha. Last night though it was Carlie Jo Howell. So I’m talking to this person who replied to the ad, says her name is Christine Jane Olin. Do you remember when “The Basic Bitch” thought you were stalking her; SIGH. Anyway I was plenty suspicious when CJ’s pictures registered but don’t judge me, I’m a guy. Next the fraud had no FB or Twitter, Instagram, talked about Anxiety, now that pisses me off, that lie. Finally, when I confronted whoever I haven’t heard from the imposter since. Speaking of things I haven’t heard from, those Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 027 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 034 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Gaining One Patron Or One Model For Patreon
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Unhinged By Nicole Cypher
    Completed

Again we are back to two, and this doesn’t serve as an excuse, but I was learning. You have to press forward, reading about Dennis Hof. Hell, Carlie Jo runs Bikini Beans Espresso. MILF Dos has her fashion line set-up. The ideas are percolating for you. Let’s take Patreon for example, how my tiers work.

Nine Circles Of Hell

  1. Random Poems (Free)
  2. Five Poems From Current Work $1.00 Up
  3. Erotica Chapter $5.00
  4. Ahegao Cover Art $10.00
  5. Lewd Character Galleries $20.00
  6. Raunchy Readings, Pasties $30.00
  7. Nude Inspirations $50.00
  8. A Full Nude Gallery $60.00
  9. Character Movie Scenes $75.00

I know this is our time but when the ideas come, so do you usually. Still practicing NO FAP but there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 034 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Gaining One Patron Or One Model For Patreon
  6. I AM Finishing Again, The Art of the Pimp: One Man’s Search for Love, Sex, and Money

Now, what could you do with let’s say an extra $100.00 a month? You don’t have anything for tiers 4 – 9 this second. Who you’ll be, The Will To Judge.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 082 ~Will Sell Those F-Bombs~

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If I had to speak at the “Day Job” on the daily, it would be nothing more than obscenities; strangely enough, one job makes me want to drop those bombs, and another is only a colorful word. “Will Sell Those F-Bombs”

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Log 082 ~Will Sell Those F-Bombs~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but I’m not exactly the best salesman on Earth. Yes, I’ve read a bit more of Dennis Hof’s book, my second reading. Now he was far from perfect, but he loved to? Anyway, I’m still trying to keep my mind off that particular F. The thing is my life revolves around three. FEAR, FAILURE, and FEMALES, the order changing depending on my mood. So how is that mood right now; I wish I could practice another F, forgetfulness to be honest.

Let’s focus on FAILURE, and how so, it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. Hell again with my motivations but shouldn’t I focus on gratitude. I’m grateful that I had the money to buy that file uploader. How about having the courage to forge down this path? It’s a mixed bag this, fake it till you make it approach. Of course, all the motivations say that you have to believe first and foremost. While I’m going off on phrasing, what about spending money to make it Lady Lu? In the book Think And Grow Rich or The Secret talked about you can’t control every thought but if you feel happy? Money and Friendship, I care for “Indiana Gone” but her wedding SIGH. I’m not experiencing the Fear but the expense of it all, being a man.

Rule 102 and 001, a man shouldn’t be afraid all of the time. FEAR is my constant and what gets me moving along. How much stuff did I have to get rid of only so I could add that upload form? What about the Craigslist Ad or even Facebook, afraid to be me and why?

Like Marcus put it “Bitches man” (LANGUAGE). Must I be so crass, I tell Cherry about language, there’s a time for it of course. Anyway, contrary to popular belief, I respect FEMALES. Nobody asks why I do what I do ever. I’ve said it before I’ve written for guys for their girls. The internet knows enrichment with porn. I’m not even going down that road at the moment, but yes, I like to add beauty to the world. Some like guns, some cars, and we all love a bit of money don’t we Lady Lu. Bullets, Booze, Bullion, and Babes, pick your poison. Like Nicolas Cage in Lord of War, I have to empty the plane and be a necessary evil. Will Sell Those F-Bombs.

I Will Have No Fear