Chronicle 279 ~Getting A, B’s Easy~

NOTE: I thought better of quoting Gail Graham’s book, but I really felt her on her point. Days like today, I miss my boy B, and if only I could work out those 25 other letters and publish a book? He’d be alive? Getting A, B’s Easy

Wednesday, April 6, 2022

Chronicle 279 ~Getting A, B’s Easy~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But on this day of confession, I’ll admit I’ve questioned my gender only on OnlyFans (sigh).

I mean to say, it’s the only time I wish I had Yabbos to make some fucking money. Now that’s much easier to say than anything at the Day Job. That place is enough of a Hell that I would do anything to get out of there. Today is Sunday, March 27, 2022. Inspector, Time Travel is important. And um downright dangerous, but why am I talking to you this afternoon? I could be doing so many other things. I doubt I’m working on a book, whichever I decide to do. By the time you see this Inspector, I think the day was more manageable. Am I saying you’re easy? For this Sunday, damn straight. More than talking to anyone else. I’m still in bed.

On the one hand, talking to you is the easy path. I can keep going to the Day Job. Every day I will cry over my son. I can live in fear for as long as I can, but you know how it ends, right? I’m going to let Gail say this because these are dangerous words. Gail Graham’s book:

Ditto Inspector, fucking ditto. What happened to me watching my language. Don’t I need every word I can get, even if it is a pardon? Have you ever pardoned me for anything now that I think about it, Echo? Inspector, the last time I said sorry for anything and meant it was 430 days ago speaking to Braxton. Like “Love and Happiness,” sorry’s too easy.

But you know what isn’t easy? I’m sitting on it. Now, getting off my butt, my pathetic ass, and walking to the dining room table to write. Hell going to the den today will be a challenge. Breaking my back for a Day Job I despise ain’t easy, but I do it because what’s the alternative? Write a damn book and get paid. Fuck, I have several ready, waiting, what? Busting my head against the wall and not busting a nut for some relief, why not? B couldn’t care less. Let his Dad have his alone time and worry about getting us out of here. A new furbaby, a job, a book. When I needed Braxton, “Get in the car.” When Getting A, B’s Easy.

430 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 278 ~That B’d The Line~

I read something once to the tune of making sure your bags are packed if you ask a person to choose between their furry kid and you. A line in the sand, if you will. I deal with a line ending my son 429 days ago on a piece of paper. That B’d The Line

Tuesday, April 5, 2022

Chronicle 278 ~That B’d The Line~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I always figured it would make me happy. There’s your boobs, my boy, a b…

Well, a dangerous word that would be crossing the line. It’s why, once again, I’m time traveling. Constantly reminded of the bullshit of the old Day Job. Pardon my language. But you know, babydoll, I’m not one to lie ever. I’ll admit I’m one to omit specific things when needed. Only I know with “All These Things That I’ve Done,” I did kill my son. Even now, 429 days since, all I can think is that B III needs some company. Why do you think I read a book on reincarnation? The Rainbow Bridge, the Other Side, Hell itself, Braxton is my family. He didn’t have anyone else; I shouldn’t say that. His furry family could greet him? I need a drink or good drugs.

How many lines were I, “Tryin’ ta get over” to get next to you? B III was always on my side of the line, and when I hopped it? Ah yes, here come my tears now. Today, being Sunday and all. Of course, this was his last day. I stole his line. Or, more as we said it together, “can we go home?” No, he wasn’t at the vet now to get better. Protecting him. Anyway, I remember the things I kept from him. The stuff I showed Braxton’s aunt… There are lines, even now, I can’t utter because those would be the ones to end me even if truthful. I’m not some fucking member of the “GQP,” again language. Black lines, skin, over white…

A smooth talker, or as Sade put it, Smooth Operator. I know I’ll cut my phone off. That’s something you have over Braxton. He hated my phone, and I don’t think I cut it off even when he lay dying. No beeps or boops, though, ok one boop as I watched him. B III’s nose. I’m trying to say that I wish I could remember the line that got you. The things I needed to say. I’ve continued to tell this story but the moment I knew I was Braxton’s family was when I said, “get in the car, B.” Without a word (rolls eyes), he hopped, Braxton and Will. So what’s my line? I love you and him, always, forever. That B’d The Line.

429 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 277 ~Prevent Your Stupidity, Kiss Her~

I say some pretty effed-up things. But the worst part of this is what I didn’t say. It took 428 days, not to mention my son. I was too busy thinking about kissing some girl to see my failure, grief, and stupidity? Prevent Your Stupidity, Kiss Her, um

Monday, April 4, 2022

Chronicle 277 ~Prevent Your Stupidity, Kiss Her~

Two-Hundred and Thirty-Fourth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, or if I were, I’m sure I’d be in a better mood. Good morning is a lie.

Let me be clear, I haven’t found my “human” soulmate yet. I don’t have a girl or even a Miss Right Now. Is it stupid to say all this now? Confessions for the Inspector, Lunalesca? Right now, talking to you. But I think about two other girls. Uh, I’m in no mood; um, ok, yup. But how can I say that? Considering it’s now 6:00 AM. And yes, I was up at 4:00. In more ways than one, of course. And what have I been doing besides falling back to sleep? Well, you know because I’m going to tell. Like Lester in American Beauty:

“I was whacking off! That’s right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying “hi” to my monster!”

I told Cherry once I was doing that when I thought about her. What would M Anime think? Braxton’s aunt would dig it, I know.

First off, I didn’t finish as much as I would’ve liked to. Second, it’s been 35 days since I’ve cum. And because comedy comes in 3’s, Lester was played by Kevin Spacey; uh, that guy… Better focusing on him as Lester or Jane played by Thora Birch and voluptuous yabbos. While I’m talking about actors and actresses, how about Will Smith? I’ve been listening to a lady at the Day Job talk all sorts of mess about him. How do I feel about him? I’ve got three words “Big Willie Style.” That album was released in 1997. Got me through school. It’s my opinion that people are much too hard on Will. But I’m not trying to argue with some broad or sleep with her.

That’s why this rule doesn’t work. Not with this chick, but I mean in general. It only applies when you already have the woman. And sticking with acting, here’s Scarface:

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”

Money fixes a whole lot, if not everything. But how much money do I spend trying to get some woman to take off her clothes? Kisses are free, aren’t they? It’s from a song I heard like tequila makes her clothes fall off. But I don’t drink either. And telling a woman all these things, Madam. The truth about myself… Prevent Your Stupidity, Kiss Her.

In all this talk about women, I just noticed something. Besides mentioning Braxton’s aunt, I wasn’t thinking of Braxton in this conversation. It has been 428 days. What the fuck!

428 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 276 ~Nightmares, To B Real~

I’m starting to get the hang of Stockholm Syndrome. As much as I hate my Day Job, I’m doing my best not to lose it. I love B III, but where is he now? The tears come for various reasons, but this time I was sleeping. “Nightmares To B Real.”

Sunday, April 3, 2022

Chronicle 276 ~Nightmares, To B Real~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you were still asleep, so you missed your chance. In fact, you were welcomed to nightmares.

The things you shouldn’t be putting out into the universe. No wonder you want to spend money like it’s going out of style. Hell, if you don’t start putting some of that cash up towards your needs… You’ll be living some of the worst days of your entire existence, hmm? Braxton’s dead, you were fucking born, you got the Day Job. Yeah, fucking Hard Times. Now let’s start with the obvious, and I don’t mean being hard. Buying some antibiotics. There’s also the car that you need to worry about. Being trapped isn’t inevitable (sigh). And yup, if you’re going to be staring at a screen all day, you need new specs, an FYI, right. Did all of this bring on nightmares? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “Will YOUR Dog Reincarnate?,” A Novel By Gail Graham
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 027 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 034 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

While you haven’t been working on the whole list, you haven’t dreamed of B III. I never dreamed of him dying but in the daylight? Again things that aren’t meant to be out in the universe. Is this some sick lesson in positive thinking? Um, the horrors of this week? Why did I just look for black stress balls? Ha, something about masturbation, my dude. But 34 days clean, and you think how you’re going nuts. Stop it, ok, before you go back to 1. Why don’t we talk about the dream that drove you from bed? Well, no, but you’re awake. And you didn’t wake up bawling. No, you cried while you were sleeping and for the most horrible reason. Not Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The Amazing Afterlife of Animals by Karen A. Anderson
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 034 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

No, what you cried for is for something that doesn’t deserve a tear. And all last week, people have been saying black men are forbidden from wrath. Hell, you’re one for pride if we’re talking Sister Superbia from Succubus Lord. There’s lust represented by Libidine and envy Invidia. Distractions, yeah, this is something you’re ashamed of besides your treachery with B III. The nightmare that woke you up this morning is this… Losing the Day Job (shocked). Fuck as much as you hate the place, what would you do without it? Whenever you feel you’re too hard on yourself. A grown-ass man, you think what the old man will do. Things not to put out in the universe without Braxton’s protection. Nightmares, To B Real.

427 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 275 ~To B Cornered Sometimes~

Was I locked in here with B III, or was he locked in here with me? I swear that’s about eight pop culture digs? Math has never been my subject of choice. Now porn, for the perves, Maiko Kaneda. Should I go stand in the corner? To B Cornered Sometimes

Saturday, April 2, 2022

Chronicle 275 ~To B Cornered Sometimes~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I got an angel on my shoulder, God up above me, someone by my side…

That’s B in the corner. You know I went through Losing My Religion a long time ago. Should I apologize for the song? It’s been playing in my head all morning, and yes, I was up at 4:00am. Of course, what have I been doing? Between fashion and Maiko Kaneda… We’ll get to that. Of course, the day starts off with B. Once again, I burst into tears at having to wake up without him. Or, as I said before, thinking of my Day Job lurking in the corner. Like the Terminator, “I know now why you cry.” B III knew so much, Luna. Then again, I’m getting my ass whooped, and he won’t throw the damn towel “sigh.” How many pop culture references today?

Maiko Kaneda

That’s why I don’t want V in my corner. You know what I mean, Lady Lunalesca. B as in Braxton and V as in Virgil. If I ever had another kid… I can make all the excuses I want, but the main one? Betrayal, Lunalesca, the ninth circle of Hell is Treachery. I know this. Then again, I finished that book “Will YOUR Dog Reincarnate?” this week. Excuse me for keeping track of my fandoms:

Losing My Religion
Discipline: The Record of a Crusade “Maiko Kaneda”
Rocky
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Will YOUR Dog Reincarnate?

And to add another one to the list, “What Dreams May Come.” I keep saying this place is Hell, don’t I? It’s betrayal if I don’t look? Come “Find Me.

But there’s “P” in the corner. TMI, right Lunalesca? I would give anything to change Braxton’s pee spot again. I still have it on my phone to check. And then there’s my issue with such things. I swear sometimes it’s like I’ll never feel “normal.” It’s all my fault, ok? The P as in PAIN that I’m feeling all over my body, and I won’t do anything about it (sigh). Oh, I could write some prose and make some money. Camp NaNoWriMo is here, but… Porno is so easy to find. That explains what I wasted an hour doing. There is so much to do, but I would rather be punished. Stay here without TV, listening to Jacob pop inside Succubi. To B Cornered Sometimes.

426 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 274 ~B III Of Stories~

Am I writing a new novel today? With the way, I’ve been feeling and considering when I’m writing this. Now I could talk about B III forever. Point out a post before January 31, 2022, where he isn’t mentioned. And there’s always Gulp… B III Of Stories

Friday, April 1, 2022

Chronicle 274 ~B III Of Stories~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But this moment, that’s only “another” word like so many I’ve written. Where to begin today?

Time Travel? Of course, seeing how today is Sunday, March 27, 2022. So, of course, you know why we’re speaking today. Existence is nothing to write home about. But fiction? Considering that it will officially be Camp NaNoWriMo season by the time you read this. So should I write a new novel as per usual? Everything within me screams absolutely! Only I did say fiction, right? I’m still cringing over my stupidity and/or horniness this morning over Cherry. I’m checking every now and again. I’m worried about losing a friend. Hell, if that whole series I wrote didn’t do it… And I’ve forgotten plenty of it. I should start publishing books then, you say? How about writing another one about a B III universe? Gah!

I want to publish, My Turn To B III. It’s only gotten longer if you count every letter I’ve written to Braxton by now. But that’s not going to get done with me staying in bed all day yet again. Wouldn’t I be better off working at the dining room table than the Day Job? My Grandma always said I was one for pride, so is it that when I say no nine to five? Sophia, I could take Braxton into the fiction world. You remember how A Dog’s Journey got to me. Talk about reasons not to see films. Clarity June got to me, and then there is X. Do you remember the horror movie I want to see? But without writing any story?

This brings me to Gulp. I paid those people off years before my son passed. I swear if I had a dollar,… more like if I had my money back for everything I’ve wasted on certain sexual novelties or time. There’s $200 somewhere with a particular sex worker. Thousands more on a pretty sizable investment. I like Eric Vall, but he stole a twenty. I could go on; anyway, back to writing. Finishing Gulp and sending it off is always in my Six Impossible Things. Who knows, that book could have saved Braxton. Again my fucking Day Job. You tell me to get to writing. How about back to reading and listening? Most of the time, I only sleep. Like today… B III Of Stories.

425 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 273 ~Been There, B’s That~

Could I publish a book in a month? Hell, I had three chances to in 2020. I wouldn’t have been filled with so much hate for my Day Job if I had. I would have noticed my son sooner. I’ll read a new book but do I need to write one. “Been There B’s That”

Thursday, March 31, 2022

Chronicle 273 ~Been There, B’s That~

424 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As always, B, we’re speaking early. So today’s been the worst day of my life.

I haven’t decided yet, with today being Friday, March 25, 2022. Yeah, what did time matter to you? Sun comes up; later on, I’d have a book. If you had a ton of food, the day must be special. Then again, when your time was almost up, I know the look you gave me B. It’s my third time crying today, first this morning, then napping, and now waterworks B. And maybe I wouldn’t have to if my “plan” pans out. Hell, it’s not even my idea. If I’m being honest. I’m guessing by the time you read, hear, I’m not sure? Most of the books I’ve read said that you’re super smart now, wherever you are. Anyway, I’ve been reading “Will Your Dog Reincarnate?”

It was written by a “Ph.D.” And you know I could use a doctor, right about now. Am I sick? You saw me through COVID-19. It’s not over yet, though. Plus, fuck the GOP/GQP, B. Please don’t repeat my foul language, B III, ok? But what I mean is the author, Gail Graham, talks about how to bring you back to me. Announce my intention, write it down, believe… Haven’t I done all that? Not one day has passed; your water bowl hasn’t been filled. I think of you every day. Every Thursday, and yes again time-travel. I will talk to you about everything. Every Saturday, facing those “Rebeccas,” I look for you at PetSmart. Were you “Chase” or the little doggie that bit me? The chubby one, the ghost?

And with Camp NaNoWriMo about to startup? I survived two without you here, and then there was the Official NaNoWriMo. I doubt you would want to sit through any of that again. That’s why I’m trying to decide what to do today or on the 31st. A book. Comedy comes in threes, THEY say. I could write a whole new book. My strength? Braxton, I doubt I could do it. And oh yeah, B, I paid those people for the book Gulp (sigh). Then there’s your book, My Turn To B III. What is it with me and closure? As I said, Gail Graham wrote her book, but I assume her dog reincarnated. But to return to me, Braxton, would you? Been There, B’s That.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 272 ~B A Good Man~

It’s been 423 days since the best man I know, B III, died. And it’s been a solid month, not counting that 161 days I abstained after his death. I know the kind of man I am, and it ain’t nowhere close to good, case in point, this morning. B A Good Man

Wednesday, March 30, 2022

Chronicle 272 ~B A Good Man~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I need some titles like Jacob Ralston has in Succubus Lord. Thinking of sex already…

And what time is it? So that will be my second apology of the day. The first is that I’m either wasting a good title or repeating it, “B A Good Man” Inspector, being good… Hell no! Before the humiliations of Tuesday, sigh, I caught a look at myself mirror-wise. That’s what inspires me today. “The Horror, The Horror,” saying I’m not a good man. Pardon my wordage but fuck me. I don’t know how I say I’m a man at all. Well, most days. As far as being good… Braxton would still be alive. It always comes back to my son, doesn’t it? The fact that I haven’t cried yet shows my tears were more about my life. Don’t worry; Braxton always gets his.

In fact, before I turned back to the sex… I spoke of Succubus Lord, and I’m on #10 now. Anyway, I was looking up the price for Cuddle Clones. All my memorials for Braxton, sigh. No, I am not good at all. Keeping my dick in my pants doesn’t count when the AM is this:

1: Dreaming about “doing” Dakota Skye at my Day Job.
2: Looking up money shots, Helter Skelter (Hakudaku no Mura), Bible Black, Tifa

3: Finding the cover shots of the Succubus Lord girls
4: “Planning on seeing X (2022)
5: Watching Hentai “Nuns” violated
6: Listing out dirty fantasies… “wakefulness.”

I was awake last night, which explains why I’m only waking up now. Did I mention I miss Dirty Diana?

Not that I will give up talking to my son for anything. I should be more like Cherry and blab my thoughts on Twitter to save time. Even then, “Temptations End.” Twenty-four hours wasted Echo. I didn’t even eat dinner yesterday as I was so disgusted with such humiliations galore. Next week will be worse, and this week isn’t over yet. My whole life is one fucking waste of time. Well, fifteen years seeing about my boy, and here come my tears. Have I been a good man these past 423 days without him? I don’t want to go look in the mirror once again. There was a point Monday I thought I was healing from my “affliction.” I’d need to B A Good Man.

423 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 271 ~To B In Love~

If you asked me right this second, who or what I loved? My Ma? Then why aren’t I a better human being? My writing? Then why do I still have my effing Day Job? B III? Where’s my tattoo, my gold chain? Why isn’t he alive? “To B In Love.”

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Chronicle 271 ~To B In Love~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t love money. It’s more like I love not thinking about money. “Brewster’s Millions?”

But to this day, this remains my position on love. Love is the want, need, desire, the ability to put one above self. But, when I remember all my younger years, chasing several “shes who shall not be named.” I accept my foolishness, my “Idiocracy,” hell, stupidity. Hate that word. If it ain’t music, YouTube Reactions, or movies, it’s audiobooks. I’ve heard plenty, my love. Oh, and about “that word,” “stupid.” Don’t go there. Hey Stupid, I Love You… Divorce. Another big no, no would be getting rid of my four-legged child. 422 days dammit. Dearest, you’ll have to forgive me. The fact that I’m speaking through time travel lets you know, today is one of those that reminds me of my old Day Job.

Ok, so let me start over. Like an old fucking Republican that has an answer but asks again. What Is Love? I swear, I’m trying to chill on the pop culture, but “Todd,” Succubus Lord? I want to say that love is routine. I can’t tell you how I feel calm, peaceful, and glad when I know everything has its place. When I know where I belong. When B passed, day fucking one, I said everything remains the same. Everyday Is Exactly The Same. I’m trying. Anyway, I fill his water bowl, call him for meds, say hello and goodbye, because how can I not? A Man Provides… yes from Breaking Bad. But Stephen King wrote that Hell is repetition. Love grows, you, our children.

This leads me to believe that love is obsession or at least some form of madness. It’s an addiction, a habit, but that sounds like routine… And don’t people dive into them at their darkest hour. Well, until they hit rock bottom. Then they die or recover. Losing my son… Yes, that’s rock bottom, but then I look at you. Oh, I know it can get worse. I’d take it as another punishment in my failure to protect Braxton, but I can’t lose you, Babydoll. Continually I say I’m in love, which has never changed, but why doesn’t it feel that way right this second? When you love by my definition and that one above is gone… well, people choose eternity, To B In Love.

422 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 270 ~Sense, Desire, Necessity, Age Differently~

If I only had a brain, the heart, courage. All that left with B. All I am is an old man with what? I should break out a fiddle, but B says it’s not my time as old as I am. Not Zibby’s or Jesse’s. “Sense, Desire, Necessity, Age Differently.”

Monday, March 28, 2022

Chronicle 270 ~Sense, Desire, Necessity, Age Differently~

Two-Hundred and Thirty-Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And money, much like my age, is something I don’t want to worry about. Yet I worry.

Sensing that something is wrong. As much as I enjoy talking to you, Madam, why are we speaking today, Thursday, March 24, 2022? I can’t call this time travel. Only FEAR. Dammit, my health concerns continue to plague me. When’s the last time I saw a Ph.D. for other than my eyes? I’ll need some antibiotics. I don’t have the good sense to ask a doctor. That requires money, which brings me to my concern and why we’re talking. (Taking a deep breath) Fucking Day Job!!! Pardon my language, Madam, but I don’t know where the fuck I’m going. There’s no schedule out yet, and I can’t help but think this is all my fault. Do you remember when I got “the call” before, Madam?

Desiring to be at that shithole is… as Todd puts it, “No Bueno.” You’ll have to forgive me, Madam. I’ve been listening to some Succubus Lord and have no desire for the real world now. Braxton stops me. I spoke to him today about the dream I had and wanting to hear from him all this time? Madam, he could have been sending me a message to prepare for war. I’m tired of fighting. But doing something with my life in service of him instead of becoming a monk and torturing myself? The world gets even more fucked up daily. Turning off YouTube social media, my desire is to sleep. Only sometime today, I need to look over the books. Desires are expensive but Necessity.

Necessity would mean more than being some horny fanboy. It’s time to be an adult… Have you seen people older than me all over America? Wizard of Oz, everywhere. Madam, I mean to have a brain, heart, and courage. For example (ahem} Ketanji Brown Jackson. Now the GOP/GQP, they make no sense, desire nothing but power. Pain is their Necessity. Why do you think I always say “Republican Tendencies?” Because I’m A “Bad Man.” Nowhere near as bad as that, but I’m not a good one. What age makes us? Inevitable. Don’t I believe a man can change with time? Well, how much of Braxton was in this? He was my sense, desire, and a Necessity in my life Madam. Sense, Desire, Necessity, Age Differently.

421 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will