Lesson 118 ~Penny For My Thoughts~

I get paid for people to tell me I’m not working hard enough, I’m replaceable, and I don’t know anything, and the sad thing it’s more than any word has ever gotten me which is probably why I’m still doing it. Penny For My Thoughts

Friday, October 27, 2017

Lesson 118 ~Penny For My Thoughts~

“A penny for my thoughts, oh, no, I’ll sell ’em for a dollar
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner” The Band Perry

Hey Lady Sophia
No Fear, at least I don’t think it’s fear that’s making me waste my time, waste my money, and if I listened to a selective minority, waste my talent, and that’s truly something I have no fear of, potential. If anything that goes on my hated words list, next to interesting and the sound of my own name, people talking about potential and maybe it’s mean to say but not everybody has that and the people that do are told this because other people want to use them, not my parents though.

“No. No, no no no. Fuck you, you don’t owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me. Cuz tomorrow I’m gonna wake up and I’ll be 50, and I’ll still be doin’ this shit. And that’s all right. That’s fine. I mean, you’re sittin’ on a winnin’ lottery ticket. And you’re too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that’s bullshit. ‘Cause I’d do fuckin’ anything to have what you got. So would any of these fuckin’ guys. It’d be an insult to us if you’re still here in 20 years. Hangin’ around here is a fuckin’ waste of your time.” Ben Affleck, Good Will Hunting

Speaking of mean, that might be a reason that I haven’t really been writing in days, besides my hated work schedule and that’s something I would rather yell in their faces. No, my novella and you know that is simply a study in me being, petty and cruel to two people, not to mention selfish, I’ve been all sorts of selfish in everything from, writing, to texting, even tonight when I should probably be begging, I’m good at that, I’m ignoring her too. Words cost us Lady Sophia and maybe I’m choosing to be a miser once again but I’m actually losing more than I’m gaining and hell how many artists become famous when they’re dead; why I never have any pressure from my olds.

No real pressure from anybody, not that I miss some writers’ constant emails, a few book reviews and yeah nobody is asking for my words anymore. I will keep my word to one, I am a man of my word or so I like to imagine but it just hurts you know to see everybody else continuing with their work and how about mine, how long did it take me to work on my blog last night? NaNoWriMo is coming up as well and didn’t I specifically say I wanted to take part in that but as always I write excuses, I feel like I’m in third or fourth grade again, one of those years I got by doing maybe zero homework but the excuses?

You can’t run from destiny or maybe I’m just lost which is my most common theme, we learn to walk just so we can imagine lounging all day, we talk but are in search of quiet, we drive as we dream of the sky. Is that it, I mean it’s no secret I want to be rich and any singer, athlete, or artist who says they do it strictly for passion and would be more than willing to stay as they are before the fame is lying, seriously to be heard…

Am I worth be listened to, Penny For My Thoughts

I Will Have No Fear

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