Tag: Excuses

Log 268 ~Will’s Six Of Excuses~

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How many times at the Day Job did I utter the words just another day, so when I came back to the house, exhausted who could blame me for not working on my dream. Now I’m too busy watching Shusaku until 2:00 in the morning. Will’s “Six” Of Excuses yep

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Log 268 ~Will’s Six Of Excuses~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which in this country means I must not be working too hard. Let me say this out in the open, my biggest excuse for not doing something was the Day Job. So here I am, three days in isolation, I still have eight days before I hear from work and what have I accomplished? I guess this is a good experiment seeing where I stand on writing full time. Five thousand words daily, I haven’t gotten close. What about reading The Gargoyle or listening to another book, well I’m here now.

As I said, I should have all of my work by now. The words I do get on the page, around 1500, are so despicable and vile. Yes, I know, leave it to Lady Sophia, but yeah, I’m embarrassed. I guess that doesn’t go away even when I’m all alone, my son and me. Speaking of friends, shouldn’t I be getting back to M Anime? She’s still on the front lines, and I can’t say, I’m exhausted, I nap all day, case and point. I even dreamed that you and I had this conversation Echo. Well, Michonne was high last night (today’s Monday) talk about losing time. I already talked about reading, didn’t I? My life comes back to that always. The words are calling me, and still, I won’t listen to Eric Thomas. You have to learn to give up sleep; when will I.

After The Walking Dead, I could have gone to bed, but I decided to “research” my novella, right? There’s this one scene in “Shusaku Replay 3” (if you look that up, it’s your fault. Anyway, it’s between Kaori Maejima and Ayaka Minami. Okay, if I’m not watching stuff like that, how about catching up on “better” TV. I miss Into The Badlands, The Handmaid’s Tale, A Million Little Things. Thanks to the Coronavirus (COVID-19) wrestling will never be the same. Inspector Echo they are even postponing The Olympics. Finally, why aren’t I watching more of the news? Working at the Day Job, dealing with my Olds and everything else, it felt like my world was falling apart every day. I’m starting to have nightmares these days instead of staying informed.

Inspector Echo, I’m sorry I blame my Day Job and that I even stick with it. I apologize for my excuses. Will’s “Six” Of Excuses

I Will Have No Fear

Log 018 ~Where Will It End~

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One month and some change left before I’m writing the sorriest excuse to a beautiful woman, not to mention all those in my novel but I would have to get published first and the story I’m writing now? “Where Will It End.”

Friday, July 19, 2019

Log 018 ~Where Will It End~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now but still not published. I’m getting closer to finishing one more story that remains nameless today, but I need to feel; accomplished. There is not much of that for me these days. I quit writing to be called Ma’am at Taco Bell. One more reason to choose the Starving Artist path.

What am I a sim? Well, I want to be a customer, but time is not on my side when it comes to Alice Little. Didn’t I say I hate letting pretty girls down? When I started talking to her, I figured, get published become a success. Lady Sophia I’ve wasted a month and a half, hell a year. Alice is texting now, and she won’t buy some story of sorry I trashed your time. I always feel like I need an excuse for being in the way. Women though, I tell myself there is some woman out there waiting. A wonder I go young, not go to jail young but again TTB. If anything, I need to be writing a scene for Nevada. Only this isn’t my novel, and we’ll get to that. I’m sure I still have my Purge “Party” Fantasy somewhere but haven’t been looking for it.

How about my life story or my son’s who’s lying right here next to me sleeping. I read something horrible that I won’t dare repeat, but I want B III to have everything. A yard I’m not scared for him to play in for hours. I’m always worried about his health. He needs a mom and siblings and being fourteen, bless his patient heart. What about me though, the answer still is, I didn’t think I would make it this far. I’ve seen a new version of The Lion King. There are now ten seasons of The Walking Dead. Hell, I am blessed with so much and dare to dream of more. I should be working harder; I did around 2100 words today before I went for food. I’ll make the deadline for Camp NaNoWriMo for sure but let’s talk about sex baby the song says.

Is that what I’m calling my novel. As for now, the group is wading through blood and “other” body fluids. The Beast is losing his tattoos with help from his wife and yes I’m planning an orgy so ask again Where Will It End.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 011 ~How I Will Tomorrow~

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“Some of you love sleep more than you love success,” Eric Thomas said, and that’s one more reason I should be; no I won’t get upset, positive vibes and tomorrow will be better I keep saying. How I Will Tomorrow

Friday, July 12, 2019

Log 011 ~How I Will Tomorrow~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and tomorrow I’ll have more. If that’s one thing that remains constant, it’s my need for more, for everything. Let’s have more words, time, money, fucking self-control (Language). At least today’s story isn’t about giving another chick money. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t quarrel with strippers, pornstars, models, you know I have hired and discovered quite a few. If anything, I would rather spend money and not another piece of my soul. Yeah, what’s another dollar for something I don’t use, ahem Brainbuddy, or Momokun.

Now that’s a “gripping” story, not paying to avoid porn or a grander stash. You see Lady Sophia some things that should be bigger, my cushion for my novel. Last week I was touting a five-thousand-word victory, and I barely got two thousand today. If only excuses sold so easy, B III was sick; I’m addicted to Marz, I napped too long. Hell the writing I did today I’m not too happy with, remember I was looking forward to The Corpse of Anna Fritz. The chapter ended a bit early, 2500 words as always, and I’m nearly halfway done, you know. I can still do worse, I had one character sucking a man’s penis, minus the man keeping it; too graphic? Today isn’t Thursday, and I was in no mood but this afternoon, dammit Momokun.

I could tell you all about my dream girl, umm Alycia Debnam-Carey. Anyway, I add all women all shapes and sizes, races too, though I do owe an apology to a Bailey now. Tomorrow who will be next, Chapter 12: The Horrors of Heavy Petting. What will Audrey do now that she knows she’s an Android? Do they have a plan to deal with those infected girls in the bedroom? Will Audrey continue to love The Beast. Hell will this book ever see the light of day. “Gulp” does have a chance of seeing a million Kindles if I pull the trigger and get it published. It won’t cost me everything and would be my way of testing the waters. One more bit of writing to ruin without playing. What did I say about Marz watching her entire “Heavy Rain” playthrough? Might as well spoil “Until Dawn” heard it’s fantastic.

Not like I’ve had time to play games with not writing, taking naps, and broken promises, How Will I Tomorrow?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 089 ~Will Say, Won’t Write~

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Don’t make me say it when all I want to do is sleep or any other way I choose to waste time, and then I write about the simplest things because the fiction never leads to the dream or better the reality. Will Say, Won’t Write

Friday, September 28, 2018

Episode 089 ~Will Say, Won’t Write~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How to make One Million Dollars, sharing all my secrets might do the trick, but with one year and nearly three months there is still so much left to confess, let’s hope no one ever asks for an FBI investigation, but you don’t need politics to establish power. The power of a word if I have learned anything this week, so that makes me feel sort of sad on this quest of having one million dollars in a year, well eleven months.

September is a crappy month anyway, and you have probably guessed why but I don’t want to say the words; honestly, it hurts so damn much, but again this week others have shown the courage that I lack. Not that I’m a survivor of sexual assault, now multiple suicide attempts, where do I begin, sleeping pills, painkillers, starvation, dehydration, And The Beat Goes On. Somethings I would never say out loud that I don’t mind bleeding on the page, but as I have said before, there are such things that I continue to let poison me despite my fictional sins.

Take yesterday how I have said I’ll talk about my ravishment fantasy… I have liked bondage since I first discovered sex, but I was never one for ropes and leather… whips possibly and when I came to understand ravishment and that it could be done Safe, Sane, Consensual… Back to my suicide attempts, I never wrote a letter, and I thought I was somewhat lazy, but how do I explain why I would do such a thing, hell knowing my parents they would never reveal the letter or worse they would change it. At this stage in the game, I will never write my signature in one of my books; I won’t ever give some girl my room number in a five-star hotel, how about a proper NDA agreement maybe?

Excuses though, if only they were so hard to write then, I would have time for everything else, today though on top of that there was a shopping list, a budget, so many texts, and great to see that McDonald’s Quarter Pounder with Cheese is living up to the hype. You see Lady Sophia it is that type of small talk that infuriates me but I can’t speak the truth and all those things that I want to say, that I wish to make so real Will Say, Won’t Write.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 082 ~Willie This Tale Again~

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The I got sick at work excuse or I’ll work something out because I can’t talk to a bank teller, how about the one that I was high on an energy drink and found something more crucial to do huh. Willie This Tale Again

Friday, September 21, 2018

Episode 082 ~Willie This Tale Again~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How to make One Million Dollars and it’s not with writing excuses and sad to say I can’t promise you even today that I won’t have a few more for you, they usually come without warning as it was today yet again.

I swear my breakfast or even something so simple as a bag of chips should come with one of those caution stickers like on the side of a pack of cigarettes, may cause sickness when eating around people. A lesson from childhood, I usually ate lunch all alone, or I didn’t eat at all and yet somehow or another I never had my lunch money stolen, my game boy, a dozen G. I. JOE Toys, my dignity but never food funds. Speaking of which that’s what inspired me today, or yesterday honestly, I can write about plenty of things that have happened, I have fiction, but what about the stuff I’ve never done out of FEAR yeah shocking Lady Sophia.

If I’m going to go into confessions I should probably speak to Inspector Echo am I right but only one today *ahem* I’ve never made a transaction with a drive-thru teller; am I supposed to take a drink now, 5-hour ENERGY is my drug of choice, but I still blame the chips. Anyway you know why I haven’t, FEAR is always my go-to excuse, I am afraid, and maybe that should be my new daily quotation, I’ve nearly written a year’s worth of rules seriously.

Hell, I need to be real and being awake is that, considering I have nearly finished Church by Stylo Fantome and I’m talking to you now, how many times have I said that 5-hour ENERGY does its job and I can only hope to do something a quarter as excellent and helpful. Again I need to consider either writing all the reasons I’m a writer or everything that I’m afraid of, and can I honestly find another year’s worth or how about methods of obtaining that million, this month is nearly gone and I’m no closer. Alice Little doesn’t have to wait for any man and what about Detroit: Become Human, I haven’t mentioned that in a while *sigh* Markus and North, Kara and Luther.

For now, I should focus on my story oh yeah and how many reviews should I write again and at least lazy is better off than FEAR because you know the truth my dear Lady Sophia, Willie This Tale Again.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 075 ~Big Names Excuse Will~

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The Man stands tall; he doesn’t have to say he’s big, grand, or as the song goes, gigantic, gigantic, but I have a big, big love if I ever paid my words any attention but like English class, I was busy writing excuses. Big Names Excuse Will

Friday, September 14, 2018

Episode 075 ~Big Names Excuse Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason not to make an excuse; my fifth-grade year of school, I damn near wrote a novel with them, considered it an elective, and it was my first shot at nonfiction… what, eye drops freaked me out, and afterward I forgot about homework. Is that why working from home has come back to bite me in the ass, and of course you ask, why don’t I go to the library today and I have excuses for that too. Need to preserve the car tires until I get new ones, how about the day job, or my little boy WAS sick a few days ago.

However, If I Had $1,000,000; I miss writing plans like that, of course, it was never how to get the money but what I would do once I had it and one of those things would be to give my son the best life ever. I was sitting in the car listening to my motivation playlist of course and the guy says, is it possible to have a million dollars in a year and just saying I thought there is no excuse I shouldn’t be a millionaire, more like a Billionaire. Why should I write even more explanations when I have my purpose WRITING and my why, My SON, REVENGE, POWER, maybe that’s the thing, my whys must outnumber all those things I can blame.

The big stories that seem so incredible, so “Legen-Wait For It… DARY!” that I do get discouraged, how I wish I was that smart, and make me question how they got away with it, 4 Years Trapped in My Mind Palace, Detroit: Become Human or Bible Black. Those names that I hope to be, strive to “date,” and titles I want as much as my name itself, Will Smith, Jennifer Lawrence, and while I should want to be me how about, author, husband, father. Oh Lady Sophia, what big dreams I have, to never worry about money again, to have that brothel. Maybe to get even with those that have done me wrong; yeah my anger doesn’t disappear overnight but how about this; never having to introduce myself, ever again.

My name has to be bigger; my word needs to be greater because now it’s sorry Benjamin Franklin, I have to hide you for a rainy day while I spend Washington and Lincoln. My apologies to the Fanning sisters, stick with my Pinterest, and Alice Little I dream of coming to the ranch someday, and yeah my son needs medication but Big Names Excuse Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 006 ~My Number’s Up, Again~

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I got lucky once, but I won’t dodge a bullet the second time and how I tend to count on so much or more like the times I’ve seen disappointment to be sure but I’m far from zero to be sure. My Number’s Up, Again

Saturday, July 7, 2018

Episode 006 ~My Number’s Up, Again~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason not to die though I feel that way regularly, not precisely suicidal; there was a time though I got a speeding ticket and I had no money and figured I only had three weeks to live; life or death how it always is with my father just saying.

Fifteen Hundred words, it took me so much time last night because of all the pretty girls, but I’m still hanging in there, “No Fap” and all, Day 119 and counting but today aren’t I suppose to do five thousand words? Am I giving up, am I making excuses, and I going to say that I won’t do it, I could go back to sleep of course and there it is, I could, between talking to you, writing that review on The First Purge, etc. Talk about being at a loss for speech because there is nothing I can say, keep writing and then asking myself what for, would I find myself published the week after next maybe a millionaire?

Forty-Six dollars is forty-six dollars, and already that’s gone, I figure I’ll go to the bank anyway because I have to find some way to keep the blog afloat and remember when I started it only took around eighty bucks. It’s also not helping that I’m thinking of some retail therapy, not to sound like a sexist but if sex is such a taboo subject, I can see why women are always buying stuff… coping.

Twelve hours, six-hour shifts, two days, I dodged one bullet when it came to working in shoes, but I won’t get so lucky this time, cleaning, what did I say yesterday about being illiterate because I don’t understand what I’m doing. What about the concept of “I’ll think about it” translating to my dumbass boss as “he’ll do it” dammit Lady Luna clearly like my father. If I were doing any writing you would think I’d write more black men as villains instead of somewhat anti-heroes, remember who the real enemy is, here I am a black man, and I can’t stand MOST black people.

“… but the truth is that I dislike most men as much as I dislike women. If anything, I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.”
― Andrew Davidson, The Gargoyle (2008)

Now none of these numbers will honestly kill me, well at least I shouldn’t feel that way but you know “Anxiety” but that sounds like an excuse, and I have a million of them. Now yes I was doomed on day one (but it’s only July) *sigh* I’ve got to use my imagination to show why My Number’s Up… Again.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 365 ~The Reason Is You~

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365 days one whole year, over 120,000 words, enough for a novel, two with “NaNoWriMo” and what was it all for, there is no excuse, and the reason other than I was mad at some girl sounds stupid and petty… a new year. The Reason Is You.

Sunday, July 1, 2018

Lesson 365 ~The Reason Is You~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason; it’s repeated time after time why you began talking to Lady Luna, talking to all the other ladies, and talking to yourself, just not out loud anymore; right? Crazy, obsession is as much a reason as any brunette or wanting to make a million excuses, how about feeling better, a year of life in these words there is no excuse there are only reasons.

The first cannot be denied, feeling shame and guilt for all that was done and preparing for what you knew was to come and when it did, as they say, those who don’t learn from history; there are reasons you don’t edit your work and a purpose not looking back. It’s sort like that movie “50 First Dates” only most of my days are best forgotten, you see most of these days are only prattle or repeated lessons, but no stupid bitch, no amount of anger, confusion, doubt, fear whatever has stopped you. Dare I say you’re a better man despite the failures or should I sound like one of those motivational speeches, there is no failure, but then again you have six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 106** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 113** No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Not Get Fired
Completed
4. I Will Complete 25% Of “The Church” by Celia Aaron
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “Psychopath’s Prey” By V. F. Mason
Completed
6. I Will Write A Thousand Word Preface Page For “The Bedroom Soapbox” Compilation
Completed

If there is anything to learn honestly, it’s to take care of your son, he’s a big reason for all of this, Level 13 and he should have the biggest yard in the world, better food, more time, a father, a daddy. Let writing be the reason to live, but there are no excuses as to why you’re not on bookshelves, who does that, having so many books written and nobody to read them, at least they must be given that opportunity if anything. The biggest reason, of course, is you, Only You, and maybe you want someone to see you, or you only want to look at yourself in the mirror, if you were able to accomplish impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 113** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Not Get Fired
4. I Will Complete 75% Of “The Church” by Celia Aaron
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
6. I Will Write For “Apocalypse Rush” Ten Thousand Five–Hundred Words At Least (Total 15, 400)

I genuinely wish I could write something profound and inspirational, give you something more than “Good Night, Good Luck” or anything for the new year, yes it’s July and other than not comparing a woman to a Brazzers or Reality Kings model what else do I have for you? Even if it was anger, hate, fear, or shame, overwhelming sadness you write, because that is your gift or your curse, but you do because what was your life without it, another question you shouldn’t answer because The Reason Is You.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 364 ~How To Stop Writing~

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Talk about a question I should never ask if I’m going to make a future not just for me, myself and I but also my son as well because home is where the heart is, and he could use a rest, but there is so much work to do to now. How To Stop Writing

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Lesson 364 ~How To Stop Writing~

Hey Lady Lu,
Can You Love Me Again, did you ever stop after my long hiatus, why even call it that, didn’t I quit… strange that I don’t have an excuse for that when I have them for everything else but the stuff I don’t want to do, how many days do I miss the day job. Yesterday I figured I’d get something real done and I did begin writing my story “Apocalypse Rush” working title of course not that I’ll ever finish with editing.

I find that I have that same empty feeling as I usually do at The Closing Of The Year that promise of I’ll do better, and it never comes; if I am grateful for anything today, it’s that my “father” isn’t arriving by which I mean more time to worry next week. How about the fact that I have to cut the yard tomorrow, I have to make it dog-friendly but hasn’t my whole plan been to find us a home, I mean a real place not owned by others built by my success *sigh*. I keep coming back to this speech I heard that when you want success (wisdom) as badly as you want air, that’s when you’ll be successful, and that’s the problem.

Am I going to use suicide as an excuse, I’m not that dramatic today but how else do you stop writing because the clock shouldn’t serve as an excuse, my wants, and desires, hell the needs that I’m skimping on anyway. I can talk day and night about fear but that shouldn’t be it either, I gave in yesterday talking to GoDaddy about my blog and as Mr. Dink put it “Very Expensive.” How about the concept that I’m writing so I’ll have time for other things but for now shouldn’t everything be about writing anything other than more excuses?

Writing is more a conversation for Lady Sophia I take it, but what started all this was a BITCH, and you would think that would be enough, I don’t want to say fear or anger because that is giving her too much credit. Is that the answer, forgiveness, future, forgetfulness probably some other F words to be sure or maybe there is no end, I wouldn’t want to go all Fahrenheit 451, but I do want to play Detroit: Become Human so answer “you don’t” question How To Stop Writing.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 281 ~Flat Of Your Back~

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I went to work today but not the day job, but some real work that I’m missing “WrestleMania” for so the question becomes am I having fun yet, can I go and lie down now that the hard part is over. “Flat Of Your Back,” not again I don’t think

Sunday, April 08, 2018

Lesson 281 ~Flat Of Your Back~

“Next time, you will look up at me from the flat of your back.” ― from A Knight’s Tale (2001)

To Will:
I Am Not Fine Today and in case you haven’t learned this by now “let me sleep on it” as the song goes isn’t truly helping anyone, well not you at least and maybe your bed is telling you something. Just another reason you can’t spend all day on your back, remember that brief bit of time when you wanted to build that dungeon of yours, “The Black Room” hell your bedroom has become one posh prison cell.

Now as they say, to everything there is a season; if you recall the reason you started sleeping on your back was just an acknowledgment of the work day tomorrow, ready to be “up and at ’em” but you’re no hero, wage slave. Speaking of old sayings how about “I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” you’re trying to be free of the mask, but you’re still pretending, still hoping that you won’t have to wake up tomorrow, the bed has taken a tomb’s form. Wouldn’t that explain a lot, like sleeping on bricks or stones which means your back should know what it’s like being against the wall? How about it’s difficult to use a laptop on your back though it keeps the “Fapping” to a minimum and how about those six impossible things you have:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 022 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 029 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed
3. I Will Not “Beg,” ”Cherry or Okay”
Partial Completion, Flirting (Cherry’s Lifestyle and Okay’s Tight Behind)
4. I Will Complete 50% of “VLAD.”
Failed 30%
5. I Will Start My New Book Today
Completed
6. I Will “Get Out” Of This House Other Than Shopping
Partial Completion (“The Miracle Season” and “A Quiet Place”) two movie visits

You want to be on your back, and I can’t blame you, the world is a hard place, but you can make it less of one if you get off your back now and do the work. If lust is the key to everything then your bed, no your beds because you’re going to have The Black Room one day have to be comfortable and bouncy, don’t forget bouncy. You do enjoy when girls know how to ride if you’re interpreting “Pony” right, but that’s just one more reason to be on the flat of your back but what girls have been around here lately? What about being on the beach someday just resting, didn’t you get eight hours last night in bed, another excuse to want more sleep but you can’t write your six impossible things from the flat of your back you know?

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 029 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Announce My Book Camp NaNoWriMo
4. I Will Complete 50% of “VLAD.”
5. I Will Write A Review
6. I Will “Get Out” Of This House Other Than Shopping Or Movies

If you want to lie down you should at least make it comfortable right and have some company that isn’t shedding 24/7, the dog’s hair does not know what to do in this weather but if it’s going to be cold, you should work. Will if it’s hot you should be sweating on your keyboard, not lying in bed on the Flat Of Your Back.

I Will Have No Fear