Log 109 ~The Stories, Will Tell~

So many tales to tell and so little time or no energy because when you’re fighting fear; well, at least I can say I won, but what about tomorrow and the next day. What is my Firstborn doing; I hope he gets a chance to tell. The Stories, Will Tell heh

Friday, October 18, 2019

Log 109 ~The Stories, Will Tell~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that’s only one more story. You know how I am with my motivations, so I am grateful to be alive to tell them. Honestly, though, I don’t know what to say. Am I scared, humiliated, exhausted, all of the above and then some? I guess I can say I beat the bastard (Language). Now that particular fellow is FEAR, still waiting for round two. What about my Olds, I knew it was a matter of time before they called checking-in dammit (Language). There is also an email from dear Norton.

I’m too tired to go over any of that, Lady Sophia. Did I mention that I’m mad as Hell, but that’s no surprise? I forget things, I still carry hope, and even when I’m fighting back FEAR, I always screw up. Does it matter how you win a fight against your demons? It does when you have someone you care for, no doubt. I may hate my “old man,” but I could never picture him behaving as I did today. Only one more reason my Firstborn is safe and sound. Hell, my mother is talking to my father right now, and “my place” is a literal crime scene. What is it about people being into me and at the same time not? Again I always carry that hope, and yet I don’t have any condoms and no prospects. I am in my purest form right now, words and nothing else.

I wonder what Indiana Gone would think if she saw me now. I’m shivering, starving, and seeing ghosts. No, I’m not dead yet, but I did give it the good college try. The funny thing is I was trying to stay alive. Well, I did Yoda proud because I was doing that, I’m still right here. I should crack open “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.” Now all I can remember is Day-Tight Compartments, but with everything today? I want to tell you everything, but this story is still in the making. Okay, if I had a list only for tonight, something like this:

  1. Find Food
  2. Answer M Anime
  3. Look Up Indiana Gone’s plans
  4. Play TWD and attempt to recover

I’ll have far too much time to worry, my son, my privacy, the journey here.

Makes me miss my foot hurting, The Stories, Will Tell

I Will Have No Fear

Log 102 ~Penning, Petting, Punching, Will~

My week has been a punishing one, to say the least, when it should be a publishing one but shouldn’t they all be; you can tell that to the people I work for, wasn’t I supposed to be off today, nope. Penning, Petting, Punching, Will, I think

Friday, October 11, 2019

Log 102 ~Penning, Petting, Punching, Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now or at least pretending this is living. When’s the last time I even saw the Den, having confined myself to bed. In sickness and in health, but that’s more Indiana Gone’s thing at the moment. If I were getting married, I would love getting lost in a hotel room and a pretty little wife for a few days. Not sleeping, ha.

I can’t say I have been working on wedding vows ever. When I was walking my Firstborn today, I was working on political speeches. Once upon a time, I wished to be the Secretary of Defense. Hell my mentor, wasn’t only a Pimp but ran for office and won after death. In all honesty, if given such a choice though I would still be a provider of beautiful women than the President. You deal with people, but as I show, I do a lot for pussy (LANGUAGE). You know how I get with alliteration, and I haven’t been working on Pinterest. What about my terrific model search? I need to go ahead and publish the book first. I’m a writer even here in my bed because the car was again, very expensive. The pen is mightier than the penis, perhaps.

My Firstborn is quite understanding of my exhaustion. From sitting in waiting rooms to shopping for food, friends, and fighting spirit. The Day Job is wiping me out, but yeah I need the money. For the first time in some time, I can say I worked over forty hours. My motivations would say be grateful. Of course everyone else would add, hello this is America and welcome to it boy. My son, though, deserves extra petting with everything happening now.

Life is hard, which is simply a fact. Every day Lady Sophia it’s as if I am at war with myself fighting to be something more. All my motivations would say be yourself, and The Matrix shows know thyself. Now here I am writing, and I ask the question, do you see me changing or evolving at all. I could always check and see who I was at this time three years ago. If I’m honest I think it would hurt to see. Again life is hard, and the truth hurts, repeated lessons as always My Lady. I told Cherry, I’m a reflective gangbanger, quite often Penning, Petting, Punching, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 095 ~Will’s Choice Of Sentences~

THEY say one of our biggest enemies is indecision, I know I have to take a breath before I push that publish key or confirm payment, so many others and then so many words have to follow, after. Will’s Choice Of Sentences

Friday, October 4, 2019

Log 095 ~Will’s Choice Of Sentences~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and yes, it still sounds better than a millionaire. How about the decision between let’s say Miranda Lawson and Ashley Williams? Here’s another one, Ashley Graham vs. Fiona Belli. Yes, Lady Sophia, I blame YouTube this morning. I’m still not getting up when I want to, but I was at Walmart to pick up groceries at 7:30 AM. Didn’t somebody once say that time cost money? What do words cost? When I had an English teacher trying to make me hate writing, I’d play a little game. While defining a word, each word would be the jail sentence in years. Definition, twelve words equals twelve years.

One of the reasons, unlike the President I’m careful with words. Every single one costs time, energy, and are ingrained on brains. I saw this girl that scared the hell out of me the other day. She wore a bikini, and a job site used her picture against her employment. I can only imagine what some of my words will cost me Lady Sophia. For example, I talked about Maitland Ward the other day. Don’t get me wrong I have adopted the Ayn Rand quote about Freedom. You know I was never able to finish one of her books. Anyway, my point is those words took time off my life. I’m not mad or anything honestly, but I’m wondering which is worse. Do I want to be ignored, or do I want to have an answer? Hell, I play hopscotch with that line on the daily. I don’t have any published books, but I have had this blog for two years and three months still.

What about my search for models? I didn’t know if I should post on Craigslist. Next thing I know, I get two more potentials, and one girl was perfect. Of course, I’m a beginner, only one man, and I can’t blame her for looking elsewhere. You know how much I respect women Lady Sophia. Okay, my poetry and novels might say otherwise. I did have this idea of making my next protagonist female though. Didn’t I talk about NaNoWriMo starting soon? I write stories and can’t define words like FEAR, MAN, STUPID, UGLY, shall I continue. No, because I need to have motivation as always. I’m reading, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” now.

Time, Will’s Choice Of Sentences.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 088 ~Pressing Matters For Will~

Not so worried about today as I am tomorrow, sort of a make or break moment and what will it lead to, more words and when those words are said, written, typed, will I be free, happy, or only stuck, so much on the way. “Pressing Matters For Will”

Friday, September 27, 2019

Log 088 ~Pressing Matters For Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but I wanna be a Billionaire as the song goes. It’s as easy as pressing a button at the Day Job today. A Revelation if you will; also it’s my favorite book in the Bible. No, I haven’t cracked open a Bible in months, maybe a year. The closest I’ve got is the “Bunny Bible” in Dennis Hof’s book. It’s quite the enlightening read but as I’ve said, pressing matters. For example, one million dollars that’s my song of choice isn’t it “If I Had $1,000,000” by the Barenaked Ladies ha.

Hell, I have the chance to see a bare naked lady tomorrow. Why is it I’m worrying more about my dream job than I do the Day Job? It’s the difference between digging a grave and breaking through the glass ceiling as “THEY” say. To quote another song, “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” I remember Chris Rock talking about being black in America. You for damn sure better be doing something positive (LANGUAGE). Something that both jobs have in common somehow. I wouldn’t say I’m doing a good thing now. Well, I wasn’t a while ago drooling over Violet Myers. It’s always research Lady Sophia. If I get a girl to do a shower scene, that means I need those pretty bottle washes. A girl’s make-up and hair will get screwed up in a nude scene. I’m learning, aren’t I?

The thing is I don’t mind worrying about such things, while on the Day Job I worry about everything. How about money, one of the managers begging me to come in tomorrow. I’m going after the Dream rather than the Day. So what was I doing going to sleep? I always feel so lazy. Didn’t I work seven hours for them but don’t want to give a moment to myself. Press a button and open a book to a great man. No, I instead continue to replay the words of people I hate. Of course, this leads me back to today because I don’t hate a million dollars. Lady Sophia, I want so much more, but I’m scared to go out there and get it, fucking comfort zone (LANGUAGE). I press pen to paper, so many buttons, my head on a pillow, but what am I saying or publishing SIGH.

Life’s Pressing Matters For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 081 ~Ad It Up Will~

How much for a day off; it’s a price I don’t mind paying again and again and hell can I call this a vacation, got my modeling page up and running and one more ad, when is the profit I ask? “Ad It Up Will.”

Friday, September 20, 2019

Log 081 ~Ad It Up Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, at least in word form. Now maybe I’ve been too deep into my motivations lately. Of course, this happens at the Day Job between my Show Me The Money and Tell Me Something Good playlist. If you asked me WHY I do what I do, I have my furry firstborn lying here. It’s not jealousy or envy that I see MILF Dos going into business. Hell Lady Sophia, how many cosplayers do I follow nowadays? I still remember sending “The Rainbow Girl” a Pokémon and getting blocked. Again, I send Morgan a cash offer and remain among one of many followers.

So why am I so fearful over a craigslist ad? Yesterday I talked about heroes, gurus, and idols. Not to sound like A&W and his current wrestling craze “Iconic.” Let’s say I can have better stalkers not that I’m accusing him. Who do you think I am, “The Basic Bitch” (LANGUAGE)? What I’m saying is, in print, you have to stand up for yourself. If you are a jester, you appreciate the heckle. A business learns to roll with the punches. You know I’ll rep The Red Lantern, Tillie Cole writes incredible books, MILF Dos is a goddess but so is Morgan. 5-hour ENERGY can go to Hell because of my headaches. Walmart employees still laughed at me. Regal Cinemas was a humiliation too. I don’t trust Pizza Hut or McDonald’s but what’s in my fridge, what was for lunch?

My writing that’s what love is to me as always. Yes, I’m still coming up with freaky, creepy, skeevy ass names on Pinterest as always. What about Le Marquis De Sade, another infamous author? I’ve talked some about Todd Michaels “Begging For It” and S Wolf “Sex Zombies.” How about Vladimir Nabokov’s “Lolita” novel? Marquis De Sade though he inspired the term Sadism. All my heroes were notorious in some way. They wrote stories, produced films, ran brothels, or modeling agencies. So here I am wrestling with myself over a Craigslist ad. One guy already called me pathetic. “Indiana Gone” wasn’t creeped out. I can’t talk about these things at the Day Job, of course. How famous do I think I am? The question is how famous do I want to be; how wealthy and that I’ll leave to Tony:

So what’s the price Lady Sophia, Ad It Up Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 074 ~Will’s Hood Has Ideas~

Pop the hood, hell it’s too hot as is and I’m not talking about my car; well let’s say today is a beautiful day to stay indoors despite the sunshine day and as long as I’m removing clothes if I had a model. “Will’s Hood Has Ideas”

Friday, September 13, 2019

Log 074 ~Will’s Hood Has Ideas~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now and have even more ideas. Now which one of them is going to net me that million. I was ready to invest $5.00 more in my new business. Oh my writing, more like getting girls to take their clothes off. Hell one woman I got to do that started a business of her own. The eye doctor didn’t notice any change in my eyesight as I recall. So I’m ready and waiting as far as writing and women which brings me to you today. I’m still playing time traveler as today is Thursday. A man has to eat, so how do I get that done hmm?

As I said ideas for my book, I started off thinking thirteen faces. At least that’s what I told Indiana Gone, and I hate lying. The thing is I don’t know if I’m lying or not. It’s a good idea but getting five women to make an Ahegao face for the cover of my book? A real visceral experience and two birds, one stone. You know I hate that saying that a picture is worth such and such more than words. If I have learned anything a week after “THE Day,” sex sells. Of course, I’ve always known that Lady Soph. Morgan is still trying to sell those headphones of hers. A few nude pictures she would have all the money with change. Please don’t make me go into how much I do respect women. People pay to go to museums and admire art. The same will go to a strip club. What’s the purpose of the internet once again?

So my ideas, finding four or five girls to do an Ahegao face in person for the cover. Of course, I’m a greedy S.O.B so have them here to model, beauty equals profit. With that, I was down the rabbit hole, looking into modeling, adult entertainment, etc. Anyway, people say they give blood, sweat, and tears, to their passions. Water is the element that brings life. Do I need to tell you what other fluid does the same? Five fluids and five women though I can shorten it to four. Finally, there’s that Ad that I keep writing and rewriting. I swear Lady Sophia if it was for my book. There’s also my modeling agenda and doing the finances. Today friend, Will’s Hood Has Ideas.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 067 ~Will Hires A Musing~

So this is it and I don’t know exactly how I feel or how to express it apparently… do I need a doctor or a mortician, should I be directing a horror film or living it and tomorrow will come regardless. Will Hires A Musing, or a “Terminator”

Friday, September 6, 2019

Log 067 ~Will Hires A Musing~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, or I better become one Monday. September 1st was the goal, and with everything yesterday well? Positive vibes Lady Sophia, the law of attraction. As I named my motivational playlist “Tell Me Something Good” for once.

Have you ever played that game Fuck, Marry, Kill? When it comes to my working hours, I will marry my writing. Of course Fuck the adult entertainment industry and kill my Day Job. That’s something I shouldn’t say, again considering yesterday. I’ve said it often enough, the best thing in the world is to be loved. If not that liked, barring that respected. Not right, okay invisible, and after exhausting the idea, feared. I was invisible but why? Rule #002 states: You Are Not A Caveman. Still, where would we be without them Lady Sophia? A grunt here, a picture there, a word? I fuck (LANGUAGE) pixels all the time (FAP), or I used to you know. Again I would marry my words. More than anything I wish I didn’t have to make a sound. Suicidal on the eve of “The Day?” It wouldn’t be the first time Lady Sophia.

Let’s play another game. Would You Rather never be born at all or live my life? How about this, would I rather go back to high school and have bad grades on The Day? Or would I rather keep this moment and worry about going back to Hell? I’m damned either way as always. Can’t say that I’m surprised how this week has turned out. More law of attraction but I wasn’t thinking about The Day at all. I expected nothing and the world manifested shit (LANGUAGE). I’m sure that’s what my mom thinks of her oldest son. Would You Rather have your son or your daughter? Easy when it comes to my Olds. Ask the Day Job, would you rather have an eight-year employee who wants to work or anybody else, I’m fucked (LANGUAGE).

I’m more a Battle Royale, The Hunger Games, The V Games type of guy. Schoolgirls vs. Professional Models. Brothels, strip clubs, movie studios, filled to the brim. Notice I didn’t have any temptations today; I didn’t get much sleep last night. Yeah even when I’m not at the Day Job or with my Olds these days SIGH. Terminator, Hooker, Devil, to help with my life’s story Will Hires A Musing.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 060 ~Will’s Bookshelves And Coffins~

Another day living life, not the life, I didn’t even read yesterday, and I woke up at 4 AM with all the lights blazing in the house; my firstborn was quite confused, but he knew daddy was sleepy the end. “Will’s Bookshelves And Coffins” a short story

Friday, August 30, 2019

Log 060 ~Will’s Bookshelves And Coffins~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now and full of more business ideas. It’s better than having any temptations today though I had a fantasy about MILF Dos. There was also my Lawler moment of “The Puppies, The Puppies.” Relax, “Cherry” had dogs but still, not a day goes by without boobs. As valuable as all the trees that are burning in the Amazon. I should probably get political but oxygen and suffocating boobage by the right girl; flip a coin. Not like there are many of those around here, all my spending.

I wish I could say it was all on books and I don’t regret Raphael by Tillie Cole. Shock and ah or Nah. Hell I gave it five stars and need to write a review. A good idea, I should do that now, but there are so many stories. Do I want to tell you a sad tale; not yet. I could tell you a weird one or a gross one. Raphael had a thing for girls with long hair and watching them sleep in coffins. I also have a jonesing for nuns, well after watching the movie Virgin Territory, now that’s the life, Sophia.

Beats being afraid all the time. I read Rules Of Bennett by Ember Michaels. Now I haven’t been so shocked since Deliverance For Amelia by Bonny Capps. To have a genuine bad guy get the girl, the key concept being unwilling. Have I read far too many HEAs? Don’t get me wrong Amelia got rescued by a bad boy turned good. The same might happen for Aurora. Still, I read these things that happen to young women and feel like Tony Montana. I’m the bad guy and not to sound like R. Kelly, but I’m a bad man, that’s true.

My life is nothing to write about, but here we are Lady Sophia. I worry about liking a girl’s picture or sending a sweet photo, song, or video because I’m wrong. I write out fantasies to two girls at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch. Now one thinks I’m crazy, and the other considers me a loser. I’m gross because I support specific movie producers. There are gaming communities (adult entertainment). In real life, I read about this kid murdering some girl because he didn’t understand rejection. Where does any particular word lead us I ask? Of course Will’s Bookshelves and Coffins.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 053 ~Black And Blue Will~

For the record, I only go to Walmart because I despise Target, though Target has cuter women and speaking of which “Indiana Gone” is one of my dearest friends and a strong black woman like my mom and sister. “Black And Blue Will.”

Friday, August 23, 2019

Log 053 ~Black And Blue Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now but only seeing red. What happened to green, I’ll ask GoDaddy when it comes to my blog? The only company I want to talk about today is Walmart. You want me to comment on your business, do well, and you have a 75% chance. Piss me off (LANGUAGE), and you have a 99.9% probability. Hell, I’m tempted to send this to Walmart. If it only wasn’t for my other temptations this morning. Katelyn May Nacon, Alanna Masterson, Jennifer Lawrence (As Katniss). There’s “Of Inner Demons” too.

Anyway, you know that saying about how mighty the pen is right? Nobody talks about paper ever. I’m sorry I’m not going to talk about the Amazon rainforest burning. It’s even worse I’m about to sound like Trump and whine like a bitch (LANGUAGE). Can I be grateful that I don’t have a massive bruise on my forehead? It’s more my pride that ain’t much. Writing serves as an eraser, for my rage, my pain, all the embarrassment. Yeah, one big edit which explains why writing hurts. I’m still not a masochist though which explains why I usually torture other people writing. Again people neglect thoughts of paper, the eraser, or whiteout. You see Lady Sophia even now, sadist that I am, I’m avoiding talking about inflicting pain. I was supposed to talk about Walmart, black people, and hate, SIGH.

I guess I owe you that much, so long story short. Yesterday at Walmart, I got over my anxiety and reached for a pack of bottled water. So I promptly smash my head against the metal bar. After getting laughed at by two “employees,” I walk away. Five minutes later this black family is laughing at me, so I glare at them as I walk past them. One of them says he’s so ugly. Another says he’s scary. Lady Sophia, I’m an African-American man. Whenever I get to thinking, okay my people aren’t bad, I got yesterday. I hate Trump but my firstborn and I; he hates other dogs. I won’t say I hate anyone; okay, my “father,” “the basic bitch” (WILL, STOP IT). There are reasons I don’t associate with other black people. When did I last dare mention a black chick? Lessons learned, “don’t be brave, have a little common sense.” Black words on paper, far better than a Black And Blue Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 029 ~First Time For Will~

My first time… falling in love, the second time, the third, hell I have kind of lost count and the first, last, and the only motif, well these days I’m just there, and I have better things to do than wait, but still, I dream. First Time For Will

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Log 029 ~First Time For Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and what do you do with a million dollars? You know how I want to quote Office Space right now? Speaking of a movie about work, I don’t want to rant about that anymore today. Baby Girl, you’ll hear me go off every day, that is until the book is published. When I get the business up and running. How about the studio and everything else? Today I want to talk about, first, last, and only? As long as we’re not recounting that “first time” honestly my love let’s not okay.

Let’s think more like the time you and I first met. You know the saying about how time flies, well not here? I could give you all the clichés. I believe love is an acceptable form of suicide. How glad I am I didn’t say those words? Another saying is if I had to do t all over AGAIN. Look I like Lenny Kravitz as much as the next guy, but no I wouldn’t want to repeat this road. I’m glad I found you, but my life has been The Maze Runner. Yes, another movie reference? I like introducing you to movies, that’s my whole control thing again. You are stepping into my world as I step into yours, “Melancholia” one more film. I never saw it, but it’s about two planets colliding, and with you, it felt like nothing would ever be the same.

Everything with me is always to the extreme, I know. Somebody I can survive the zombie apocalypse with ha. You don’t laugh if I want to build an armory and a prepper stash. You’ll be the last person to know me, hell the only one. I want you to be the last person I will ever hurt. If you didn’t know how you wouldn’t be mine. My love, you could be the only love to make B III give up his spot. Might you be the last time I ever have to fear a woman? Well, I’m sure our daughters finding love, yeah that would scare the crap out of me at some point. Should I tell you about the first time, I knew I was in love. The start of an obsession. Multiple times I sent women heading for the hills? To have a woman say “I Do,” Hey Lover, First Time For Will.

I Will Have No Fear