Log 236 ~Will You Say Hi~

I don’t get high anymore, which is the last of my vices as far as putting things into my body, well other than loads of sugar, I do need something to keep up, ladders, ladies, and loads of words because I rather not speak. “Will You Say Hi”

Saturday, February 22, 2020

Log 236 ~Will You Say Hi~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you have to be crazy to pull that off. Now don’t get me wrong, Lady Lu, I’m less crazy than most. Not that I’m trying to distinguish between madness like Silver Linings Playbook. One of these days, I’m going to give a brief lesson on morality to show why I’m not a Trump Supporter. Let me be honest, though; standing with Trump is more STUPIDITY than insanity. I hate saying that because I know a few Trumpers. Those same people would call me everything under the sun, so I understand.

So let’s start across the pond. Part of the reason I’m a bit late talking to you is that I’ve been writing. Oh, is that what I call it Lady Lu? It’s not every day you can tell someone every “dirty” thought in your head. Ahh, the wonders of Erotica. While I’m busy writing it, I haven’t been reading. By now (Thursday), I should have finished Siren by Hazel Grace. Right now, much like Davina’s lovers, I can’t breathe. It’s always the same with any good story; I’ll do anything not to finish. It’s real Lady Lu, even a moment ago. Indiana Gone has me looking forward to something that still hasn’t arrived. A few minutes ago, I saw the FedEx guy deliver a package to another house. Now I know it’s not mine, but I want to go over like I’m a Porch Pirate.

Better I do something crazier like, climbing the roof, for example, hold up a minute? Please excuse me; I’ve started watching a lot of “Girlfriend Reviews” on YouTube lately but back to Amazon. If I’m not buying books, waiting on packages, why not look for a ladder. Am I that eager to die, like when I sent that girl a bustier with my name on it, what the hell? I’ve told you before I don’t seem to be learning from history, which takes me right back to writing that story for Cherry. Am I going to share that with everyone? For all I know, her father is hopping on a plane to come after me at some point. I have a hell of a time dealing with people at the Day Job. Still, you know what’s driving me up the walls. The humming won’t stop.

Only I sooner not greet anyone; Will You Say Hi?

I Will Have No Fear

I Got Five On It, BOOK REVIEW

A girl like Rainey Summer Day deserves more than a five and what I paid for this title, I’ll say it is worth every single penny and then some; Lily White sure knows how to bring on the heat and the taboo. I Got Five On It

I Got Five On It

Now that’s no way to talk about a lady, but you should hear how Rainey Summer Day talks about herself. Indeed how Lily White speaks about everything. Now I can’t say I’m much better at what I’ve made women say about themselves. All I know is The Five is one of the dirtiest books I’ve ever read next to Lily’s “The Director.” Even that Tillie Cole title “Sick Fux.” Anyway for the gentlemen in the audience? If less is more, you get a good idea in Pure Taboo’s film “Guidance.”

Not saying guys don’t read any Erotica. Case and point still I’m one for language, or it could be the bombardment of sex in this title. Most stories are one to five ha drawn-out sex scenes. With this, you’re hit with it over and over. It’s a mishmash of fornication. Quick and to the point but never dull. You’ll be living on the edge of your seat. Though to be fair you’ll know what’s coming or rather who. Still, you’ll only want it all the more with each page that flies by to be sure. Like the character of Rainey, you’ll only crave so much more. How this title will deliver, whatever your fix is, sex, blood, a love story.

Despite everything, keep in mind that this is a love story. The typical how is the lovely girl going to get out of this predicament. Now her paramour never being the prince. Though comparing him to everyone else, is one man better or worse? The author attempts to steer you towards one. Only as you get deeper and deeper into the secrets of Rainey, you’ll say, yeah that’s not the way it’s going to go. For others that might be a fan of C.D. Reiss’s title Forbidden. It’s not a negative by any means. You’ll be rooting for Rainey, and one of the “gentlemen” leads throughout. So yeah I might end up giving it away at some point. May I have more restraint than Rainey.

There is one secret, though and I must have been too blind to see it. Until it comes out near the end, I wish I can say I was playing doctor. No, if anything, I wanted to be a customer as evil as they were towards Rainey. With this title though Lily White has easily made my top five in this genre. While I know, that doesn’t count for much. Only this is one more title of hers that I have become addicted to sigh.

Now stop me if you’ve heard this one. A young girl gets into trouble with guys, though in Rainey’s case she walked right on in. Still, because of her age, we’re to assume she’s trapped, which is true enough. I give marks to the author because of this. Sadly this might show what kind of man I am. Most of these titles the girl isn’t that young. They don’t dare to cross the line. Not Lolita young but depending on the age of consent. That didn’t stop anybody with Rainey.

So Rainey is the only survivor of a murder spree. Anyway seeing as how she’s bruised herself and tied up at the time we get to meet Justin Redding. A doctor sent to evaluate her guilt or innocence of the crime in question. Even so, most of the story is Rainey telling a tale of the Connors. Four men guilty of abusing her but the youngest Rowan. Don’t get your hopes up that isn’t the five, anyway. Rowan was the one to care for her. The story switches back and forth between Justin speaking of his interview with her. Only Rainey continues the tale and then comes the somewhat bombshell.

That’s the only negative that you’ll hear from me. Again I wasn’t looking to be surprised I was rooting for the outcome the whole time. I don’t see how the author could hold back as long as she did. Also, she has a good understanding of men. Most women would hate that men think like this. Many men might hate the casting as such, but I was sitting there. No, I wasn’t falling in love with Rainey, pity yes but yeah I would be going to Hell. Every character was covered. If anything, you are only hoping that it gets raunchier. I mean with everyone that Rainey encounters in bed or out. For example, the two detectives. Justin could set his sights elsewhere. Rather than with his subject, his obsession.

The plot isn’t new. I’m always amazed at how specific authors can spin it this way and that to tell their story. Along with the different voices, each showing a particular aspect. I would never call Rainey a heroine but a survivor. How you’ll find nothing is lacking at the end, and everyone got what they deserved. I remain sad for Rainey despite it all. I’m just as guilty as all those preyed upon her.

If I were going to recommend The Five, it would be those that study killers as a hobby the real-life stories of evil. Though there is death in this, there is so much more sex I’m sugarcoating it. Why should I, it’s a five-star masterpiece as was The Director and for the record. With that book, my beef is I can’t buy a copy to put on my bookshelf. So that was a different sort of darkness that I relished.

The truth, if you read stories the real horrors that some have experienced. If you bleed for the victims and at the same time, you want to know more. You want every visceral image. This fictional account will get you there. It’s like that scene in The Silver Linings Playbook. Pat listens to Tiffany recount her many sexual exploits and Pat gets so turned on. How you only want to take the girl on the table right there. The Five itself comes with a trigger warning. If you know anything about drugs and trading sexual favors, or abuse, you might want to skip this one. Now at the same time, it might help some heal with its way. While Rainey isn’t real, the exploits are seen every day in reality.

So why the five stars? Well other than the colorful language and the constant abuse of Rainey. How does she fulfill so many dark fantasies? Again Lily White doesn’t shy away from taboo subjects. There’s light at the end of many dark tunnels? Only I choose the darkness again and again. There is only a trace amount of a redemption arc when it comes to Rainey and spoiler alert Rowan who she chooses. Even Rowan forced his desires on her. How she never became a saint, she only delved into worse. The same with Justin, who couldn’t keep it in his pants despite wanting to come out as Rainey’s hero. In some shape or devilish form, which is why he got his ending of course.

Dare I say it was like Winston and Julia in 1984? That I can’t help wanting a Rainey of my own, now how sick is that? I know but yes I Got Five On It.

Episode 358 ~Make It Worth Fighting For~

It’s my father’s birthday today, the man did threaten a teacher for me once before, went off on a judge too, but all Masters protect their slaves, my life is valuable to those that can use me, so I never fight for myself. “Make It Worth Fighting For”

Monday, June 24, 2019

Episode 358 ~Make It Worth Fighting For~

Ninetieth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now; money is worth fighting for Madam Justice. Every day I sound more and more like a Republican, how’s that for thinking positive. What about when I fought to do that story with my adopted Big Sister? Hell, does that mean my words are worth the struggle? I am helping my son get well and sitting on this loveseat the past few hours. What about not quitting my Day Job today or breaths coming in and out of my body.

The fact that I have The Alamo Fund or did proves this life isn’t worth shit (LANGUAGE). I know I must remain positive, but with my age, that’s a lot to surmount. If anything, I want to break out into a rousing addition of a “Girl Worth Fighting For.” Thanks to Disney but I can’t do this because of a girl. To me, it’s like rehab, you know, your family, your friends, your fuck buddies (CAREFUL). The truth is that if you don’t help yourself first; if you treat your life as expendable. How can you be expected to help anybody else or make amends? Like with my Six Impossible Things, if I can’t be a man, how can I be a father for my son? My motivations say that your WHY can’t be because of you. Another adds you must feel your cup up first to thrive at all.

Trickle Down theory, but I give so much I treat others before myself. It’s like I don’t deserve anything, like wanting to die so I won’t be in the way. Hell, it would beat today, how humiliated I was at work. Could you imagine my life if I fought as hard for me as I fight for others? B III had me on the phone, ready to punch-out the Vet, beating back sleep. I defied my Olds because I wanted to write. Still, when it comes to my right to exist? Will Smith says if you’re not helping you’re wasting your time. Again others say give to yourself first. So if I were to choose today, fuck everybody else (COME ON REALLY) I want what’s mine. The good news is I have some time to think about it at least. Then we’ll see what happens won’t we dear Madam Justice.

I’m not June; I’m getting out of Gilead. My life, Make It Worth Fighting For

I Will Have No Fear

An Ending To The “Depredation” Book Review

Such a long time, but I do need to bring a finale to my affairs and sadly this novel Natalie Bennett’s title didn’t have that, but it was pretty good if you ask me, wait you didn’t right, but yes the end has come. “An Ending To The Depredation.”

An Ending To The Depredation

There should have been, but I will get to that. For now, I will start at the beginning. As a matter of personal taste, I’m not a fan of Depredation title-wise. Still this story written by Natalie Bennett is solid. Nothing to write home about, not that Harper Lane would see much of that in this title. Neither at the beginning or the ending. I can’t stress the finish enough. Being a writer myself and all it can be stressful. However, Depredation or as a matter a fact most books in the erotica genre never do that. So yeah I will shut up now about women, and they’re everyday lives.

Well except Harper’s and that’s what we’re here for right? The girl getting kidnapped by the big bad and the aftermath. Which is pretty different than most and it’s not as if I’m giving anything away. Other than all the gory details of this sweet victimized pinup, yeah I said that. I’m a guy. The types of guys that read these stories and what; get turned on. Not as much by this as others, for example, Whispers In The Dark. Anyway, that was done over a more extended period and had the semi-traditional ending. I must applaud the author for keeping the focus on Jayce and Harper. Even more so the prison where Harper found herself. That’s a bit of originality. The victim is held in one area and not always moving in some way.

Now there is hope, only as I said before it becomes pretty different than in most stories. Still not giving anything away. But how to make a Monster 101. Furthermore, I wish there were a little more on Jayce as far as his madness. I imagine though a taste of Harper’s horror. It’s not the thing they put up when missing girls somehow make it back. Natalie Bennett did a superb job of touching that world. Parts of Harper’s life for two years, and then some more. Still makes me sad, the “then some.” I was looking forward to that payoff and payback, and well, that’s why we’re at four stars instead of five now.

On the flip side, what do I know? We’re going to see won’t we if you continue reading, but I’m not Depredation. The book held me from start to tripping over the finish line. Although to be fair I am inspired to give the author another chance. What can I say I’m a lot more merciful than our two main characters in this tale. Though you would never expect this from them, perhaps it’s strange. I wish Harper made it hurt more. Or at least we should get to read about it some, another chapter?

Harper Roseanne Lane didn’t stand out to me. Other than her type but she’s not the heroine. She’s not the vengeful angel but more. The everyday girl, and that’s the thing. That there was nothing spectacular about her, plain jane.

However, the way that she’s brought to life by the author through the eyes of her kidnapper. Not surprising that she’s unique. How I didn’t see it but when it came to the pain? The gore made Harper so much more visceral. The beginning and then the aftermath of her captivity was like night and day. Still, I keep going back to the fact that I wish there were more. Instead of the rush to put it to bed. Leaving me with a feeling of “what.” Not a cliffhanger but more of “that’s it.” You could write a whole other book or at least a novella about how she took her vengeance. Yes, it gets bloody somewhat near the end.

If you want fear though? Is it scary that I enjoy seeing through the eyes of the villain? I have a plethora of reasons for that. Here’s Jayce Charles Haywood, the clear-minded, I have a regular life. However incredible darkness sort of individual. I could only relate to his choice of Harper as I like the same look. How many women have I sent heading for the hills so far? Which is why I can see why this genre is female dominated. Anyway, Jayce was fleshed out more than his victim somewhat. So I can say I didn’t like him, but we shouldn’t I mean of course. Only and I can’t stress this enough. As “painful” as it was at times, it’s an excellent read.

There was a tidbit about other characters. Nevertheless, the standout would have to be Jayce’s wife Minnie which I find original. I can’t say I have read much in terms of the villains that have spouses. Well, the main characters anyway. While she wasn’t a willing participant, she still acted as a partner. Yes, pretty wifey was an accomplice to Jayce’s perversions. To a certain degree which was quite deplorable. That was a breath of fresh air; for a while. I don’t want to spoil the novel any more than I have now. I think it would have changed things up if she spoke a chapter in the tale. Minnie had an integral role and also gave me an idea for a story of mine.

As always I considered five stars for Natalie Bennett’s “Depredation,” but it wasn’t quite there. Rest assured that four is worth it and I’m about to go into spoiler mode. So if you want to stop here, that would be wise. Also if you are one for the positive but this is only me ranting about what went wrong. Know that I have no right to judge, but I have a few things on my mind. My brain sigh is a scary place I know.

The mental aspect was remarkable from the beginning. Showing what it could be like for someone like Harper that suffered the way she did. I would make a pretty lousy therapist. Because of what those stories do to me at times. The idea that you don’t get it all with Harper. Albeit with some of the most critical moments in her captivity. Your body begins to react to the pain she is going through. In every effort to somehow make someway for herself. Before the ending where the story trips up with Jayce. We get a nice bit of gore with Minnie and Harper’s wrath. Along with everything that she went through suffering so much.

The end though, right there. Time to break out the party favors and let’s see how far she’s going to take this. To become nothing; an excellent beginning and then a no thank you. As if the reader can’t handle what’s about to go down. Is it not the same for women I wonder? All the sexual depravity on the woman no doubt but now it’s the man’s turn. Is that a turn-off or something? Could be me but I wanted Jayce to pay. I suppose I could do with more story all the way around. I want to like Harper more. Somehow while again keeping everything practically in that room for so long. If to see more of her outside of it or in her house of horrors for Jayce, former assailant now victim.

Oh and the title change. I can see why it was so, but between you and me I liked the old title better. Being honest and on that note Whispers In The Dark by LeTeisha Newton is a quite detailed version of this title.

I’m looking forward to reading even more titles from Natalie Bennett. How many are said to have connections with the one I finished? Which would be awesome and maybe I’ll find, An Ending To The Depredation.

Love The Way You Run

It’s a disease this thing called love I once heard, but I think I’m an asymptomatic carrier when you get right down to it, or as the song goes, Love Don’t Love Me but I haven’t written any “sweet” poetry lately, or short stories. Love The Way You Run

My heart beats faster and faster, as though it can escape me, soon I almost mutter aloud and yet she sees, one of the many and if she thinks I can turn around and face the rest of them as her voice breaks through. “How about today, Mr. Berton” Ms. Everard tutted, how she surely must have gone into the wrong profession, but who better to teach a man about life and death but a woman but this was Math.

How long have I been staring at her, could I count the breaths that I missed and apparently I must be missing a brain, I must be the Tin Man, minus the ax as well… one more reason I couldn’t turn around. Her eyes as brown as the dirt I wanted to bury myself under, was I not one more dead man and yet it’s dead things that make others grow, as hard as the board I haven’t touched in ages, please let me just hack away and build a coffin. Yeah but my heart won’t allow it, or that’s what I keep telling myself, fighting to stay alive though I was already in Hell, though nobody would know it with my complexion but hers?

The dead can be monsters, lucky for her, though I could see the rivers of red run along her tanned cheeks, the small scars healing as though she met a beast long before me, though her soft pink lips called me anything but her worst nightmare. “Mr. Berton” she cried as she walked over to me, her black top barely containing her but it could be worst, if it were her heart I was after, and then men chase skirts, the tigress’s one she was wearing, no I would instead trace the black heart tattoo along her cheek or the designs along her wrist. Surely she must be crazy to approach me, killing me like this or bringing me back to life, I would choose the former rather than face the class once again in this state, I just couldn’t.

Saved by the bell, as the class began to leave, my backpack not big enough to hold me, no EMT’s or coroner’s to pronounce what I already knew, was it wrong for me to even wish for a cop, death might come that much quicker. No, I wouldn’t need that, as Ms. Everard, cautioned “see you tomorrow,” now honestly I am no track star, but I am surely going to give it a chance as I ran out of there as fast as my feet cared to carry me now.

If I didn’t see her, her, or even her, why was I still going to school if my only job prospect was looking at the ground, knowing the moment I looked up, I would be knocked off of my feet, better to find the whole now, get it over with.

Better a cabin in the woods than being eaten alive, a careless whisper, a kiss, the scent of perfume, there was no fighting this, I wanted to believe, as I scurried along, call me a coward, or worse one of the infected. Rage, at them, at myself, hell that’s what I felt, but it’s nature, even the animals that have no concept of it, knew it, and here I thought people were supposed to prefer the privacy of their own homes. That’s where I was headed, maybe I could attribute my sickness to anything but the butterflies in my stomach, though I doubted even Noah had the problems I was feeling running through my veins.

No, they will not make a monster out of me, idle hands being the devil’s playthings and all but I didn’t have anyone to call, no money to spend, and while violence was far more accepted, it could never be condoned. If I could be like the cool kids, I could probably get a drink somewhere, maybe I could smoke something, it might even make me that much braver and live or die, it wouldn’t matter in the end perhaps.
Some idiot laughing on the ground and the pretty girls’ laughter brings him back to life, and he’ll only fall down again, for her I suppose or she for him, why don’t I find more joy in my immunity to all of this? Sickness is never a good thing, and that’s what the world would make of me as I ran that much faster, I must look like a lunatic and if only they knew they would have me committed by sundown. Why couldn’t this all exist in the dark, that’s where the monsters were supposed to come out and play, but where was I headed now, there were no bright lights where I was going if I kept my computer off of my obsession.

I would make myself a sacrifice for the good of the world, the sole survivor but to what end, and her’s, had God chosen to curse me so, as I stared and in the next second wondered who put that pole there as I crashed.

Light as a feather but only a board, was written on one of the books she carried but she did not stop, perhaps I was already a ghost, and none of them could see me, even if she was attuned with the spirit world as her library would suggest. It would make sense the way I was haunting her, some might say stalking, others would make me out to be a creep, nobody ever saw me until far too late.

Not good enough for Heaven and not bad enough for Hell and yet I was surrounded by angels and the devils that would have them, if but a word from me, after all, a ghost still needed a place to haunt some nights. It would explain a lot, I didn’t eat much, nobody ever heard a word I said, well at not women and some women loved to pretend that I would jump out at them when they least expected, it’s like being an alien only that beast would be my heart crawling its way out of my chest. Just it wouldn’t be today if I could make it back to my haunting ground without any more bruises or scars.

At least that’s how the guys saw me, maybe I was surrounded by ghosts or angels, and every guy saw me as a necromancer, I was paid to bring girls to life, and those men got to “love” them, I could be the grim reaper. Only it was grim I would ever see that girl again, her burgundy hair, those greenish-brown eyes, her snow-white skin, clad in black top similar to my teacher’s and blue jeans that would have to be peeled off of her slowly. Much like my dark skin if I ever got the chance, she was probably looking into the tarot now, coming up with a million reasons why we couldn’t be together in some way maybe.

I could help her out with that, but I will be damned if I was chasing after such a beauty like the beast I could not choose to be for the life of me, or for the life of her, and that was one million and one if she could hear me. We didn’t belong together because I was already dead or would be I imagined all the more as I saw my reflection in a puddle, yes I decide what I was going to be or was, a zombie.

Some zombies were only interested in brains, others were connoisseurs of the flesh, and while I could admit there was something about brunettes, I was not picky from wanting a dark-haired single mother, to a girl interested in the next realm. Still lacking my brain, why else would I feast on or find any thought I had elsewhere and not on the tip of my tongue, I must be starving.

Werewolves would lock themselves in cages, vampires had one coffin, but what could hold a zombie, the cure would be a million times worse than the virus, the ground may not change on the path, but these people were walking obituaries. Feasting upon each other time and again, some for their whole lives, and they pitied me… maybe they were right, but I accepted what I was a long time ago, and how dare I take somebody with me, zombies have mobs, as for me… I wanted to tear her apart, but I wouldn’t turn around and follow my black magic woman, I wouldn’t taste those juicy pink lips, bite or even nibble upon her.

Too many people had taken bites from my brain already, no wonder I couldn’t remember what it was to be like them or at the very least what I pretended to be because what I was could not be allowed anywhere. Let the disease run rampant all over the globe, I would run, I would hide, better than being one of them, no never, I kept telling myself, until I turned blue in the face, but I was so close to the house now. A zombie that would not bite, because no the world did not need more of me running around and I’m sure there were enough women that wanted to blow my head off for a few reasons.

What kind of monster thinks that; not a zombie that’s for sure they fear nothing, most monsters don’t, but there is something that is full of fear as I ran faster and I saw her standing there waiting to be let in. Have I had it all wrong, as I was clad in my black hoodie with matching jeans and boots, staring at the brunette vixen, cleaning supplies in hand, not that it would be enough; am I a psycho?

I’m only a man, and there was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide now, but she was just the maid, not that I would think of her in such simplistic terms, not with a body to die for, the thought kept replaying in my mind. My would-be prey who was making sure to clean all the evidence of her arrival, she would be all that was left for me, the only picture taken in her soft brown eyes, a t-shirt, a pair of shorts, and the matching underwear I bought her for Christmas once.

A psycho was always prepared, only there were no axes, no playroom, not a respectable torture device to be had, gloves, machete, or a chainsaw, and they say that humans are made in the image of God. While I still wasn’t a believer in such the things I wanted were less than holy without a doubt and would damn me for all eternity, well damned if I do or damned if I don’t, so why was I the one backing away looking to get out. She was only a girl, but any would-be man would tell you that can be the scariest thing in the universe easily; witch, siren, succubus, and yet somehow here she was on her knees keeping me at bay easily enough.

“Is there anything else I can do?” Kaelyn asked, probably reading my darkest intentions as she hurried towards the door, but my hands were shaking as I reached out to hand her the money and she was on her way, safe and sound. As I was lying on my bed, throw in alone, and all would be well except for the knock on my door, Kaelyn forgetting something I wanted to believe but there was nothing there and everything, it was in the air. My next question should have been how did all these ladies get in my house and taking hold of me, but I didn’t need to ask who they were, Aphrodite runs deep these days; if anything I should be flattered but terrified would have to do.

“Who do you think you are,” Cupid asked me, already there was an arrow pointing straight at my heart, as the women held me down and telling them I was a Titan might be the wrong answer as I was surrounded by these gods and goddesses of love. “Now you take the time to find me” I grunted, as they moved forward hungrily, staring at everything that womankind chose to ignore forever and a day.

“Our worst nightmare” Eros chuckled, putting two fingers to my forehead and suddenly I was filled with visions, broken hearts as far as my eyes could see, I indeed was one to be despised so why bother to apologize. On the other hand, they owed me that much and a lot more but what made me think they were interested in me as a person, not when I saw those fangs and claws come out.

Finally, my hands were traveling to the loveliest of places, of course, they were ripped from my wrists, with all sympathies to the Devil, no more worries for any of these gods jobs at this point as I found my voice. I screamed as I felt their jaws, their claws tearing me apart piece by piece, ripping into me, my final love letter and it was being written in blood, or is this why they wanted me all along. Even now I couldn’t help but find the beauty in even this or at least one part of me continued to believe so despite being made into a buffet for over a dozen or so gods of old, that didn’t understand that love has now changed.

I could have even been one of them I sighed or was that my last breath as my heart was finally stolen and Aphrodite smacked her lips holding it in her hands announcing then “I Love The Way You Run.”

When Girls Come To Church

Now this is worth getting up for on a Sunday morning, hell when I was younger my parents would drag me to church, and I would spend time in the balcony reading, nothing akin to this, but it’s better than the Bible. “When Girls Come To Church” though?

No worries I’m not going to get all preachy on you, though if I’m speaking honestly, there was a woman that told me I would be a preacher someday and once upon a time I worked in a Christian bookstore whose owner later became a reverend. I tried reading the “good book” probably one of three books I couldn’t get through all the way but I’m here to talk about a much better book, and that’s “Church.” by Stylo Fantome.

This novel made me believe in five stars again; it brought back my faith that being quiet is not a bad thing especially if you don’t care what anybody thinks and I have always heard that women like the strong silent type and so it was Emma Hartley finds seduction. What a fool believes am I right but I don’t mean only Emma, everyone is in this title from Margo to Jerry, to other girls that want to fall to their pretty knees and worship. All men think their God this one happens to be right and in that, I do mean Paul “Church” Logan, I wouldn’t mind learning his ways, but I can never stick to my silence honestly.

I’ve heard of a man having a dream. Indeed every man should have a plan, but let success make the noise, and there is plenty of that between Church and Emma; sadly, she was not the dream and as far as the plan well? Now I think I’ve asked this question before but what is it that makes the real evil so smart, I wish I were only talking about Church in that but Margo too which is only one more spoiler, I’m warning you just in case. This tale plays its cards close to the chest and then becomes entirely predictable but still extraordinary overall, as the next question is, what happens next which is high praise for any writer, I need to know.

Like life after death; I wouldn’t go that far but this is the first book I’ve read from Stylo Fantome, and now I’m a follower without a doubt, again not as far as Emma, no, if anything I want to be Church. I could fall in love with Emma too, as the song goes, “not a trace of doubt in my mind” as this story will stick with you, it will make you a believer, but the question is what that will be when it’s over; is it love perhaps?

I believe that Emma has known pain, and yeah you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure that out. As I’ve already stated this is the first title I’ve read where silence indeed is reflected in a more positive light; if that means getting a girl out of her panties. The other characters have “admirable” backstories, enough to keep them in the loop, not too much that you need a bio-page to guide you through everything there is about them, thieving mom, lame dad, dirty college girl, etc.

Emma is hurt, thanks to mom’s lying, cheating ways, and is stuck, wanting like anything to get away from everything that’s happened and when do people go looking for faith, that pie in the sky when there seems to be no way out. In walks Church, a man who has found solace in his silence with his own set of mommy issues and yet he meets a woman who understands everything he is trying to say without uttering a word; I’m going to say it now, that’s my dream. Together with all their chemistry when it comes to sex, they formulate a plan, but if only it were the same plan, you would have a love story to be sure.

The mothers in this novel were nothing to write home about and not to creep anyone out, but Church’s mom in a small way reminded me of mine except I didn’t get beat, but second spoiler warning they’re coming too, no doubt. I don’t want to be Church’s dad, a sad man with a small sliver of sanity at any given moment, who only takes what he can get when the time comes, namely Emma’s mother. I would have liked to read more on Stacey Cummings and Marci MacIntosh, but that’s mostly me being a horndog; it is something to see how everyone reacted to Church, from his lover, his “people” and did Margo have something for him too, like mother like daughter that way.

Obsession though, another one of those double standards in the world and one more reason I found myself falling for Emma and wishing to have that “magnetism” that Church could draw out of the female population. Speaking of society, I think everyone, within a reasonable age, of course, should read this because people always talk about love but what you won’t do for love, fairytales have so many princesses, but when push comes to shove what will she do for the dark prince, I’m saying.

You should stop right here maybe, I wonder how many guys are like me reading this sort of title but last warning five stars, can’t wait to read the sequel or others and of course, the ladies will love it. This book got to me in so many ways in all honesty, and that’s even before the sex, and it wasn’t overblown or anything of the sort, but it was there along with everyone’s mental issues and the climax wow.

The eroticism was good, and it could use a bit more but it was enough from Church’s bedroom to the classroom, and what some might call incestuous though Church and Emma were in no way related, merely their parents getting married. Another double standard I saw was the whole don’t kiss and tell, and Marci has a big mouth bragging, while to Church their tryst was nothing but somehow he finds himself falling for Emma, even if at first it was only a means to an end. Emma’s obsession up to the end for Church and then as if she were falling out of a spell, it was reminiscent of “500 Days Of Summer” to wake up in the morning and feel differently about someone.

The things that Emma was willing to do, without knowing anything about Church and when she found out what his end goal was, another change that the man wasn’t aiming to be the killer and the woman would, all for the sake of love. Not that Church didn’t show at least a fondest for Emma and eventually a love, facing off against her mom, getting to see Emma when he showed one time that all his power couldn’t solve a problem. The two scenes that did it for me was the sex on the teacher’s desk; what I’m a traditionalist when it comes to porn; there was also the murder scene that showed such madness.

It showed me five stars, and while I don’t believe in much, I do think that Stylo Fantome’s novel Church has made me a fan and that I couldn’t get enough, it took me less than a week to finish it, so wow. To quote one more song “love is the answer” but there are so many questions. That means it’s going to take a whole lot of love and with men being men, I can see through these tiles When Girls Come To Church.

Ven Will These Women Learn

How does one win at life, I heard in a song that life is game for everyone and love is the prize and I never much agreed with that but while I am here looking for what I would consider a victory I might as well read some. “Ven Will These Women Learn”

If a man did this or if a man did that, honestly men do so much and worse, but despite it all when men and women come together it is not their job to fix each other, that responsibility is solely theirs and theirs alone, and so it is with Ven and Diana. Ven by Ker Dukey and K. Webster is the sequel to Vlad and covers the Vetrov bloodline, and I should tell you now there will be spoilers so if you haven’t read the first book… what, you honestly haven’t read about Vlad?

For the record, Vlad is still my favorite character with Diana coming in a close second for one reason in particular honestly, but again, there is, what’s that word; that’s right Responsibility. Her father is responsible for her if not then Veniamin, and then how about she do something, and she did because Vlad didn’t get the whole story. Now this story should be centered more around Veniamin, but it reminds me somewhat of How I Met Your Mother, like how the mom was nowhere in the world but he is in this story, but it centers more around Diana. Last warning spoilers ahead, Diana’s betrayal, Diana betrothed, and Diana can be a real um, a not nice person, in fact, she is a real badass in this story, but the problem is other than violence she is not learning from past misdeeds that aren’t entirely her fault I know.

Ven’s story is not much different from Vlad’s, a wealthy man with an evil daddy destined to rule an empire with the woman he wants so close and yet so far away but of course it does not stay that way for long. Diana brings a new set of problems and while she learns to accept the circumstances of the first problem the overall moral is lost yet again which is, please don’t lie, in a world full of lies, with these people you are supposed to be better than, why continue the mistakes of the past. Of course, the best part is this book starts right where Vlad left off, and honestly, that is what got me to read this one because I wanted to know what was next as I am somewhat of an aficionado of fantasy death games, am I drooling like Homer Simpson, yes I am.

The first half of the book and then some is pretty awesome, but it doesn’t add much to the table other than seeing events through another family’s eyes and wanting to catch a glimpse of Vlad and Irina and their happy ending; or is it. Then they rev up the blood quotient for this one, and I mean by the gallons, and that alone had me so close, and I do mean Diana in the arena close to death wanting me to say wow perfection.

Ven and Diana, what can I say that Vlad and Irina didn’t cover other than a whole new set of circumstances as to why they can or can’t be together, another overbearing father this, a few lies that, and then Diana is always herself. There is also a whole new list of characters to learn about; I think I said in my last review that the biographical information for all of the families is tremendously helpful as I refer to it quite a bit reading.

With Veniamin, he’s somewhat of a more, significantly inebriated version of Vlad, that deep sense of love and killer’s instinct is the same and seeing as how he’s in love with Irina’s sister but while Vlad’s led more by pure rage and passion, add a drug habit, and you have our guy Ven. Now Diana was painted somewhat as a villainess in the last installment, but when you get the bigger picture you understand truthfully that is until well; she doesn’t learn. I find myself lost between hating her for her many lies. Or falling in love because of The V Games. Together as a couple, I keep saying it but Vlad and Irina win hands down but Ven and Diana, that fire they have together is like something out of Sin City and how they come to express it; if only Irina were such.

There is more of Vika where again another villainous woman is painted to be somewhat of a victim, and while I can respect Diana to a certain degree, Vika does everything for her own sake while Diana was seeking to protect others. I can’t forget the Madmen of Moscow, while I can’t keep up with the membership of my erotica reading group if other men are into this genre I’m sure many would want to relate or even be either Rodion or Zahkar. Vas to me seems a bit unfinished like he’s there, he has some pivotal scenes, but somehow it’s as if he’s set apart still, which sort of explains the idea for the next book or maybe the authoresses wanted to stick to the V theme some logically.

Other supporting characters I don’t think are as well done as Vlad, it could be because there was more action in this follow-up and let me be clear while I will give both titles four stars I believe I like Ven as a novel more than Vlad. With Vlad, you have the sex and a bit of violence but with Ven or I should probably say Diana, I suppose that’s a personal preference as I heard in a movie once, power becomes yours through sex and VIOLENCE, true enough friends.

Four-Stars I was there, if I only stopped reading those last few pages I would have given Ven five stars without a doubt, but we never freeze do we, but you have your shot right here, and now this book is incredible. I am also about to share some of my favorite scenes though most of my excitement again stems from being a witness to The V Games just saying.

The ending I guess is that aha moment, but first I was confused, and then there was not a twinge of anything because Vas’s character and his lady love, are not honestly built up again, it was a bit blah. I want to know the ending, but while I was hopeful for Vlad and ecstatic for Ven, I’m more or less okay we’re going to get a ton of backstory in the next book or what, not that I like Vas and Vika but he agrees with that himself. I wish that we got more on Kira Baskin though her scenes were hot but most importantly of all I dream that The V Games were longer and brought into more detail, though it was incredible.

How many times have I said The V Games, Diana fighting for her life and the goings on of the battlefield, I thought it would be more only one person gets out alive sort of deal but the fact that people were going in for the fun of it all. As far as fun, a ton of sex that I can’t pick only one scene, the Madmen, Ven and Diana, the prisoner either Kira and Diana would be enough to rev up anybody and leave you wanting even more. Diana and Vika’s vengeance; after the brutality of everything that happened to them it was well served and perhaps the grandest victory besides The V Games of course of the first two novels that I’ve read.

Those last pages *sigh* do not get your hopes up though I’m sure that other people loved it, compared to the rest of the novel it fizzled out but stopping at Diana’s victory, vengeance, or validation might have been perfectly acceptable. If she learned her lesson before being thrust into Hell itself though it was the greatest thing ever *sigh* they say men never learn so I must ask this, Ven Will These Women Learn?

Episode 024 ~Sack Up For Life~

Please, don’t let this be an ending of my motivation; I swear I can give more, I know it doesn’t look like much of a sack, my computer, my words, my life, and where the hell did my balls go? “Sack Up For Life.”

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Episode 024 ~Sack Up For Life~

Forgive Me Echo,
Give Me One Reason that my life should end up in a bag if anything I suppose it beats a box and I’m still Alive but what exactly am I living for when everything I am can fit in a sack. I’ve heard girls talk about their whole life is in their purse and not that I’m trying to be offensive against women… oh no not me though that brings to mind a whole other sack full of life I’m keeping full.

Unlike the sacks of potato chips and sandwiches I’ve subsisted off of the past few days, food is food, but again I ask the question as to why other than not actively trying to kill myself these days. Well, I am still getting up an hour early for these chats nowadays, I would say I’m standing up for myself at work while sitting down, yeah I might get fired any day now and if it isn’t my boss, where do I say my courage comes from again? Must I go all Yoda with the Fear and Anger but I feel my courage accompanies my rage and those that enrage me so, well I wouldn’t look like much of a man.

Why can’t I sack up when it counts Inspector Echo, I was supposed to go to the library today, but from the look of the time that’s not happening, I can’t grow a pair when it comes to my damn name and of course both of these attribute to not buying lunch today. Why not, because I don’t feel like I deserve it and that’s true, when I start making money when I prove that I can do something, anything, all I did today besides working the day job is hit the sack. As you can attest there are so many to choose from and as they say, think outside the box, I need to think outside the bag but again my whole life is in there except my dog, and he’s my reason, my why I should be doing anything, so why aren’t I?

When most people pack a bag it’s for a few days, but when I do it well I don’t expect to survive, I plan on getting sick, something happening to the car, that I’ll forget something that is crucial. May you forgive me Inspector Echo for choosing to live inside a bag than die in a box, for being offensive yet again and still not having any balls, for filling up everything but myself as I give everything else, I must Sack Up For Life.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 357 ~And Other Dangerous Weapons~

Fear is the monster, and the weapons I have aren’t doing anything to kill it, do I even want to anymore, I’m tired but everything is keeping me on my back or my ass, but at least I’m writing, and words are weapons. “And Other Dangerous Weapons.”

Saturday, June 23, 2018

Lesson 357 ~And Other Dangerous Weapons~

Hey Lady Lu,
Can You Love Me Again, I suppose some people will answer yes even if they don’t mean it when I’m in the ground, but today I’m Alive; so why is it when I saw 357 I immediately thought about a gun, I’m an American, I’m suicidal, what keeps me on my back?

If anything my day job, I didn’t start sleeping on my back until I became terrified that I would lose my employment, I’ve only ever been late once, and I was wide awake at the time, though generally like Frankenstein’s monster I rise because the job is killing me. How many times do I say I love my dog like pancakes, but like any parent sometimes he becomes my excuse not to do something or to do everything, but love can be a lot of things including shameful. It’s almost as if one should be ashamed of being depressed, for having the blessings that someone like me has, and I am blessed Lady Luna I see that; a bed, a couch, a chair, a dog, so many soft places and some people only see such luxury in a coffin, and that’s if they’re lucky enough.

Speaking of luck the worst weapon that I use against myself is LUST; if I go to Hell, more like when; I can only hope I get a circle two offense, and the sad thing is I can’t even name everything I’ve looked up this past week or even the past hour. I’m so far from paradise nowadays, but I want something higher; I keep telling myself that but as I was saying to “Cherry” yesterday that something greater will probably come with brunette hair.

You would think I wouldn’t look at the ground so much but more at my wooden dining room table or something else that’s indeed rockhard, writing, woody, the weather though I like the rain somewhat which matches my mood, slow and dark. The clock is another source of motivation and irritation over how much time I waste doing nothing it’s a constant struggle it wears me out. Besides lust, SLEEP should be considered one of my seven deadly sins; I have to give up sleep, somebody said that’s when the real work begins when you’re tired and hungry, not that I’m helping myself when it comes to food either sadly.

So day job, fatherhood, depression, lust, writing, time, and sleep, see it doesn’t take a 357 to kill yourself not when there are so many choices And Other Dangerous Weapons.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 198 ~I Take My Own Lumps~

Pain has plenty of points, something wrong; you’re still alive, you’re stronger because you’re not letting it kill you, the same can be true of a scar, too bad no one can see my scars on the inside, I’d be one badass man I Take My Own Lumps

Monday, January 15, 2018

Lesson 198 ~I Take My Own Lumps~

Fifteenth Rule Madam Justice,

“I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.” ― Forrest Gump (1994)

I Am Not Afraid Anymore; perhaps the truth is my forte *snickers* I feel sort of like Sota from “Sota’s Brave Confession of Love” I am not brawny, reliable, or able to say things outright, but… I take my own lumps. Madam Justice I endure the pain I deserve, the pain I don’t, I pay the price for myself and others, and I feel that is just what a man does, what would I know.

He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young ― When You Were Young

There’s no doubt in my mind that I ain’t Jesus, nowhere near Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, my greatness is definitely in question, but I don’t ask anyone to fight for me or to sacrifice if I am the cross you have to carry then put me down. I was ready to die when I was a child if I wasn’t the person my family wanted then why keep me… love, expectations, investment? Even now much to my shame I’m still not self-sufficient, if I lost everything well, there is a reason I have what I call my Alamo Fund. A way to meet my end with dignity, a five-star hotel, hookers, my favorite foods, and some kick-ass drugs or as the song goes perhaps Happiness Is A Warm Gun.

I’m just an average man, with an average life
I work from nine to five; hey hell, I pay the price
All I want is to be left alone in my average home
But why do I always feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone ― Somebody’s Watching Me
Rockwell

As much as I loathe humanity and I long for the day the dead walk the Earth or maybe Trump will legalize the annual Purge it’s always been about hurting myself rather than anybody. You know it’s stupid I came up with this rule years ago when I wrecked my car against a tree, then drove to work with screwed brakes, and afterward drove to an auto shop, all because I didn’t want to inconvenience, my “father” or my job. Do you want a confession better suited for Echo or Diana; what makes me an incredible sadist is the fact that I’m a fantastic masochist, maybe I get off on my pain and thus when I enjoy the occasion I choose to share it honestly.

I heard on a TV show once; we cannot learn without pain or what about the saying what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger… or better start running. Trust me I don’t yearn for adversity, trial, and tribulation, the slings, and arrows but like I told my mother a few days ago as old as I am, I’m growing up, and I’m not that bad, I Take My Own Lumps.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” ― Martin Luther King, Jr. 1929 – 1968

I Will Have No Fear