Tag: Hi

Tale 089 ~Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton~

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It wasn’t a big deal. I’d lay on the loveseat, and B would pick a spot and give me a look. “You good,” then he would listen to me, or if it was inappropriate, he’d fall asleep. Books and furry kids. Read all about it. “Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton.”

Thursday, September 28, 2023

Tale 089 ~Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton~

970 Days Without B III, Day 411 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing as how we’re speaking on Sunday, September 24, 2023. You can guess my day

I wonder if I’ll make it to the couch today. And no, that’s not me being mean to Virgil Vivi, B. I was going to call him “the Freeloader.” Yeah, I need to stop that. I’m sorry. It’s not like I haven’t lain in our usual spot and read. “And it hurts like hell. Yeah, it hurts like hell,” sometimes, as the song goes. But today, I’ll be exhausted, lazy, or just plain stupid, B III. However, you would never say that. You wouldn’t say much, and if I couldn’t… books. That’s what I want to speak to you about. Don’t worry… (snickers) yeah right. Anyway, Triple B, I’m not banning books. Remember all the books I couldn’t read you. You’re a big boy now.

But I’m not. Seeing as how I’m still talking to my dead furry kid. That’s what THEY would say. And Virgil? He would prefer I get out of bed. The Dining room table isn’t helping. Considering all those long days I would spend writing, you would know all about that. Only we’re talking about reading. And I was looking at the Man In The Mirror. I spent all this morning listing off the books I was getting for cheap or even for free from people. Hometown Hero (The Breeder Book 1), Witch Girl Study Group: The Complete Series, Backyard Dungeon 2: A Reverse Portal Fantasy, and more. The year you died, 2021, I read about six. 2022 was nearly forty, if not more, Triple B.

2023 started off promising, but with Kindle Challenges, the series I started, and a need for more time. And I have a whole library waiting… What exactly am I asking for, Braxton? Um, well… I would have finished A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel. If it weren’t for running out of time or reading stuff, that would have someone reading me Miranda Rights at some point. And I hate reading anything about the bank and cash, but reading about dead fur babies vs. beautiful women and everything buried rising. Would it matter to you what I read, Braxton? Asking permission? As long as we’re together and still breathing. Braxton, I’m still reeling from your broken record. 526 Days. Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 082 ~Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton~

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I haven’t seen a Math class in years, but still hate it. And reading… That’s how bad it is. I read novels in Math. But if I read one more day, my record with B III on September 16, 2020, is broken. Broken already, but… Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton

Thursday, September 21, 2023

Tale 082 ~Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton~

963 Days Without B III, Day 404 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You could be anywhere right now. Better than here? Daddy’s in the Special Hell. Still?

What? You rather I be mad than sad? And yes, B III, I have already cried over you once. It was for the stupidest reason. But I was mad as Hell when Virgil came close to vomiting all over the phone a few weeks ago. Only he was sick. And when you were the same, Braxton? I could be all sorts of mad at you now. You know me and my fondness for list B III. Braxton, today is Wednesday, September 20, 2023. But by the time you read this, it will have been 964 Days that I’ve had a broken heart. Even now, I want to yell at you, ha-ha. What about the bed I continue sitting in that’s collapsing? Depression and Humiliations galore.

Cherry would not be pleased about what amounts to a character study. And neither would an ex-beauty queen that did… certain movies. And what about writing my books, like I always promised? Because the last thing I want to do to today B is more reading. That’s what brings me here today. As you can see, my record for “Days in a row” on Wednesday is 525, soon to be 526. And there lies the problem. Thursday will be 527 Days. Braxton… I’m breaking “my” record. And in so doing, a part of you… is disappearing. It’s like a Mario Kart Time Trial, your ghost. Virgil’s been here 404 Days, Braxton. Breaking a record like this doesn’t mean much in the big scheme of things.

Hell! Braxton, when you died, I didn’t do anything… let’s say sinful for 161 Days. Counting today, I’m not even close to breaking that record at 54. Another reason I’m trying to talk to you instead of looking up Yabbos. But I did speak to your Aunt Carolina yesterday. Nothing can be that paradise, I would think. Although that would explain why you’re not breaking out of Heaven, Hell, or testing the Rainbow Bridge… I’m sure Virgil could use a break from my existing. He’s not so desperate today… Tomorrow? Triple B, you are your father’s son. You wanted to stay always and forever -trying to save me from breaking down in a broken world. I made “my” bed, this Hell. Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 075 ~Virgil Pretends To B~

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If I can “see” ghosts, maybe V can too. Anytime I have to go out and pretend to be a good person, it sounds like a haunted house as I close the door. So besides writing, sleeping, or gazing at yabbos, I pretend it will be better. Virgil Pretends To B

Thursday, September 14, 2023

Tale 075 ~Virgil Pretends To B~

956 Days Without B III, Day 397 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? More to the point. Are you happy? I read up on The Rainbow Bridge, sometimes.

It’s supposed to be a happy place. And more than anything, B, I want you to be a happy puppy. Hell! You were fifteen when you left, and I still considered you my little puppy. You’d be eighteen now. Even after your “passing,” I still call you for “medicine time.” How’s that for ACCEPTANCE? Your Dad could use some type of medication, I guess, B. Is it the fact that I’m calling out to the dead? Well, only you. But yeah, I have that book on vampires. It could be all the bugs biting as I clean up your yard like you would be proud. It’s all “The Land of Make Believe,” Braxton. But Hell is far too real. Which is why I’m writing today.

Yeah, your Daddy is time-traveling, but only a day. It’s Wednesday, September 13, 2023. And before I get started on why I’m talking to you so late. It’s around 4:30 p.m., and I’m in bed. Of course, sigh. V’s laying here pretending being here’s his “Welcome to the good life.” Like father, like freeloader. I swear, Braxton, one day I’ll stop calling him that. Lying? Daddy was never one for acting but, strangely enough, for ACCEPTANCE. Now, after E-Day, with me being another year older. I swear thirty-nine sucks. Thirty-eight, thirty-seven, thirty-six. Thirty-six was an awful year. Oh! I should have died at “Seventeen,” Braxton. But I keep pretending, don’t I? That bullying lie of It Gets Better. It doesn’t. Nothing stops. Nothing. Well, you…

Only I keep going like I was today. Do I want to talk about the Day Job now or yesterday? What about what I did after? All the time in the world, and besides eating and sleeping, what did I do with it? I was like you when your Aunt Carolina came through —buried in Yabbos. Only for me, it was Cherry’s. As if I could recreate that beauty like something out of “The Truman Show.” And speaking of big racks, there was also Momokun. After a couple of downloads, um… Your Dad is not a good man. And I don’t do well at acting. Well, “When we pretend that we’re dead,” you have me beat. Teach Virgil to be happy. Virgil Pretends To B.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 068 ~Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day~

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Welcome to Level 39! Welcome to E-Day. It’s still the 6th, and the day is a waste. 14244 days of worthlessness. There were 15 years with the greatest guy ever. My son. And 39 years of living in terror of a few people… Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day.

Thursday, September 7, 2023

Tale 068 ~Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day~

949 Days Without B III, Day 390 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Welcome to Level 39. I think I’m going to be sick. Dead? Just Survive Somehow.

In the next few minutes… I could be joining you. I’m time-traveling as today is Wednesday, September 6, 2023; current time is 2:48 PM. Your granddaddy said he’ll be here at 3:00. I would trade places with you in a heartbeat, Braxton. How many more, hmm? The person I am right this second will change between his arrival and departure, Braxton. I said the same thing about you on many different occasions. But the one I’m thinking about right this second… I didn’t burst into tears at the Day Job for nothing. I needed the pain of losing you to negate the pain of losing myself. The Horror, the Horror awaits. We’re T-Minus 5 minutes. I thought midnight would be the worst, but your Gramps.

But let’s say I survive this moment. Braxton, he’s 3 minutes away, running late, whatever.

Yeah, whatever. This afternoon, I’m going to hop in the shower… I remember you hated me doing that. We are creatures of routine. And an evening shower meant… the movies. As in, I’m leaving you. There were your Aunt’s mammaries, which you loved so much. There was that time with the maid, Special K. Or there was more work from the Day Job. Must I make a big deal out of everything, even a shower? Braxton, please help me! Anyway, tomorrow, I won’t set any alarms. I’ll wake up when I’m good and ready. Braxton, should I order something for breakfast and lunch? Take care of Virgil, of course, duh!

Another thing for this afternoon. I should take care of all my criminality. Just saying. Don’t I always say I don’t have time to work on your albums? But somehow, I’ll find the time to work on some… anyway, The Pic Phenomenon. I’d never do that when you were around. And VV? He runs on fear and Adrenaline like me. Like father, like freeloader, ha. Stop! I hear ya, B III, I do. I wish I could stop this fear right now. And today, Braxton. Today, there’s a good night’s sleep, some good food, and Simoleons in my pocket, funny. It’s now 3:29. Your Gramps isn’t here yet. E-Day is coming for me. My E-Day wish is… that we are together. Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 061 ~To B Remembered Virgil~

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My first “Happy…” NOPE! That word is not in the vocabulary, but good works well enough. E-Day is nothing but nightmares. But when Braxton was here… Hell! The third E-Day without him is coming up. Not that Virgil says anything. To B Remembered Virgil…

Thursday, August 31, 2023

Tale 061 ~To B Remembered Virgil~

942 Days Without B III, Day 383 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Well, we’re talking on Sunday, August 27, 2023. So you know about my Thursday. Sigh

I don’t think I’ve “worked” this hard… Well, since that week, I found out you were dying. I swear I’ve talked to the Man in the Mirror, Dear Future Wife, Inspector Echo. Last again, B III? To my everlasting shame. But this week and the next… You know what’s coming? E-Day! I wish we could talk about the fence you guarded. Yeah, it’s been bothering me. Even now, I think I should put some more nails into it. Virgil’s been sniffing around. A way out, B? If only I had worked on all my other writing the way I’ve been working to endure the next couple of weeks. Your grandparents haven’t called or texted. Your aunt neither. Inevitable, I know. So, a question. Any room up there where you are.

The Rainbow Bridge, Heaven or Hell? You were/are a good boy, B. You remember that. Always and forever. But your Daddy isn’t getting into Heaven. And where I am now. Hot as it is, like one of the hoodies I wear, I miss your fur. What about sharing with you? Again, there’s E-Day —Emergence, Existence, Extinction. You didn’t bother remembering. Thank you. It’s the reason I miss your Aunt Carolina. Braxton, say hello sometime, please. Emerging from my bed as you stepped on my head was worth me trying, whatever. Existing, now I did that with you and your aunt or when I needed to protect you B III ha. Extinction, this week, next, I’m damn near forty but no only thirty-nine. Remember it, B.

As “I will remember you.” Listen to me about to sing some Sarah McLachlan, Braxton. Daddy can remember everyone else’s words but mine? There are memories and manuscripts, and do I go with mammaries or money? Movie nights? But you were such an old man when you met your Aunt Carolina. You met her on E-Day, remember that Little B? And she was here for a couple of mine and even one of your birthdays. Today is the first time I’ve remembered anything from that terrible day. It won’t last. But all my crying B. Remembering how I was born and how you died. And then there’s Virgil. A little Receiver of Memory if I spoke to him more often. If, To B Remembered Virgil.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 054 ~B Thankful For Virgil~

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The motivations I listened to spoke on Gratitude. I’m grateful for the meditations that help me breathe. It’s getting harder to do by the day. But my boys need me…Did I really say that? Believe it? B III was here once, and V. “B Thankful For Virgil.”

Thursday, August 24, 2023

Tale 054 ~B Thankful For Virgil~

935 Days Without B III, Day 376 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Hell! Today is Sunday, August 20, 2023, Time Travel. And today’s already to be ruined.

Do I blame you for not being here anymore? Nope. I still blame “me, myself, and I” for that. But I am thankful you were here once upon a time. Start with Gratitude, right? Little B, I’ll be grateful if your grandparents haven’t called today. We’re getting even closer, B. I mean not you and I because I can’t hear you. I’m trying, but I’m not waiting around either. No! I’m much too busy hitting the buttons and accomplishing nothing. So, why did I get these ideas of Gratitude? As I sit here in bed today. You’d be locked up. Yeah, that lets you know exactly what I was doing. And you thought my baby talk was crazy. With you, I had a voice B.

I’m thankful I heard it once. And that I didn’t sound crazy. Okay, yeah, it was plenty of madness. But at least I wasn’t talking to myself. Virgil’s here, but we never speak at all. He doesn’t know me, and as the song goes, “I think I’m turning Japanese.” Successful? Only at wasting my time with that sort of thing. What? You had a thing for your Aunt’s Yabbos, if I recall. I’m grateful I had… have a friend like her. But I haven’t heard from her in a while. Have you gone to check on her? You both know my feelings on E-Day: Emergence, Existence, and Extinction. To you, it was more fries and maybe a bit of steak. Grateful I’m eating anything now.

But I feel so good right now because I haven’t thought about it in a bit B. Not thinking… I haven’t thought about the fence being broken. It’s holding up well. And the yard? Humiliations Galore! Instead, I’m trying to avoid that, so it’s pretty short. And Virgil? Sometimes I wonder if you send him. I haven’t thought for a while he’s reincarnated. There are more reasons to shout praises. so that I’m not disappointed saying, “B wouldn’t do that.” But your grandparents… Hell! What about today, as in your Thursday? This is the worst day —at least, day job-wise. You know. As long as Virgil isn’t crying Wednesday and I ignore him, then… Am I thinking of joining you? Gratitude. B Thankful For Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 047 ~ Virgil’s “Hi” Enough Braxton~

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New vice? I don’t drink. B’s Aunt could tell you that. It’s been 20 days since I gave up “something.” And I don’t have a drug connect. As much as my Olds tried. And saying “hi” to the furry… I’m still not sure what V is. Virgil’s “Hi” Enough Braxton.

Thursday, August 17, 2023

Tale 047 ~ Virgil’s “Hi” Enough Braxton~

928 Days Without B III, Day 369 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Judging by what time it is AHEM, I had one wild night. Well, not really…

These past few nights, I’ve been going to sleep crying tears. Balance it, ain’t you. Fortunately, I’m still able to sleep at all, Braxton. I know you’ll hate me saying this, but I still don’t want to wake up. Every night, if I were one for prayer. That’s what I would ask God for. Instead, I sit here while Virgil lies at the foot of the bed. Daddy’s crying? Braxton, how many times have I said, Virgil’s not my son, yet… One whole year? Honestly, how long were we together before you gained such a title? I keep going back to the moment you jumped in the car. And how you hated any car rides. But for “One Shining Moment…” Well, you learned to fly.

Listen to me as if you weren’t jumping all the time. All you had to do was see one of your aunts. I saw your actual Aunt a few days ago. Gotcha Day, to be exact. Sadly, I don’t remember the day she got you or, again, the very day you became my son. But your Aunt was always in your heart. The way you would cozy up to her. When Aunt Carolina saw… I swear she was so jealous. But let me tell you this, Little B. The way you would hide in Aunt Carolina’s boobs… As if I couldn’t have done the same thing if I wanted. Yabbos! Beautiful faces are one thing. But some great Yabbos… It’s the reason I’m still breathing.

How sad is that? It’s not for the love of Virgil, a voracious life, or even getting some pus.. well, vagina. B III, you were scared of girls, well, the furry variety anyway. And your dad? Anyway, my point is, I was reading another one of those books that talk about… um, man stuff. I didn’t want to think about how I sent you straight to Heaven… or Hell with me. Now, I don’t tell Virgil about such things. How about “Good morning, and in case I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!” There’s “Hello, Hi.” Braxton, V doesn’t raise his voice either unless I’m leaving. Requires “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal” Ah! To reach you B. Virgil’s “Hi” Enough Braxton

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Lesson 230 ~The Anatomy of Hi~

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One original sentence, I wonder does that count when you write fiction, how about when every word they want is a lie, or how about when you can’t honestly speak at all or do I just hate people that much. “The Anatomy Of Hi,” sorry I can’t write it ha

Friday, February 16, 2018

Lesson 230 ~The Anatomy of Hi~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore or instead my characters aren’t afraid, you should see how they introduce themselves, and then you’ll know why I’m a writer and live vicariously through them all. It still has to be said though I haven’t been doing any writing recently because I’m busy practicing “Hi” in the mirror and that takes so much out of me on every occasion even when I can’t say it at all, I don’t want to.

Yes I know it sounds like a f*ing excuse, so I’m practicing censorship today; yet for a few minutes, unfortunately, I still remember the b*itch I said goodbye too, the man who said much more than hello and think of the man who should have never spoken. Again my characters don’t say hi, in any traditional sense, to me it invites expectation, but they say “hey” is for horses, and what about Sup, Good Morning, lifting my chin by an inch? Hello gives up the element of surprise, though it might make a lot more sense only that’s the thing, Lady Sophia, my writing never does, and that isn’t a prerequisite to do it, so no more excuses am I right, should I start writing?

If anything I’m falling behind as is between movies and books, The Last Jedi, Fifty Shades Freed, Black Panther, Hostage, and nowadays I’m going to have even more time on my hands. Maybe I’m just upset that my last herculean effort against the bastard I worked for went nowhere and in fact, I wrote an email saying that I won’t be pushing any further. What happened to just writing for me you know, I did finish answering a few text, but that’s par for the course, I guess I shouldn’t knock it though, Fifty Shades started out on the phone.

A phone I never answer because the people on the other end don’t say hi, scammers; what about a woman from one of the “ranches” down Nevada way… yeah, that’s money, but I can respect her at least. My characters introduce themselves with deadly viruses, kidnappings, gunfights, and speaking of which I remember when a gun blast woke people up and now it’s just another day as John Legend would say, “In America, In America, I still can’t breathe in America,” or anywhere just saying.

For now, though I should probably get to writing and worry less about Hi unless my stories suddenly turn normal because who knows what would happen if we all did understand The Anatomy Of Hi.

I Will Have No Fear