May God be with you. May God’s love be with you, always. Godspeed. Things I didn’t say to B as he lay dying. May God be with you all if I ever write a book that sells. No way! And as far as breeding two-leggeds? “Renewing Braxton’s Membership Virgil”
Thursday, April 17, 2025
Meditation 290 ~Renewing Braxton’s Membership Virgil~
1537 Days Without B III, Day 978 of Virgil’s Arrival
Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? By the time you’re reading this, your Daddy’s half-dead. But today… Saturday, April 12, 2025.
You won’t like me saying this, Braxton. I’ll let Thandiwe Newton, AKA Dame Vaako, say…
I wouldn’t be surprised if someone promoted him soon… to full dead.
― Dame Vaako
Yes, your Dad is “Feeling super, super (super!) suicid…” But that’s not your fault, Braxton. I wake up “Every Morning” asking, “Why (why?), why (why?) Tell ’em that it’s Human Nature.” Or at least for humans. And I don’t know how to bring myself back to life. Music, Movies, a Manuscript. If you asked me right now to describe life, I would say Cast Away.
I’m Chuck Noland. Your little brother Virgil Vivi is the raft. Honestly, Braxton, it’s why I’m at the Dining Room Table wearing pants despite “Chloe | Kuroinu.” But anyway, B. You’re Wilson out there floating along, and for once, I ain’t crying… I think… Allergies.
So why aren’t I crying? I saw something beautiful on Facebook! OMG! WTF! Right, B?
Anyway, I looked it up, and it’s from a book-turned-movie, “The Art of Racing in the Rain.” If only I weren’t reading Backyard Dungeon 15 this week. Braxton, I was listening to this dog Enzo talk about how if he did return to the land of the living Braxton, he would return as a man.
Do you remember when I was reading all those books about reincarnation? And I’ve been saying for about two and a half years that V isn’t you? I knew I effed up looking for you.
Do you, my son, have a greater destiny? I’ve been joking a lot about M Anime being your stepmom. Mom!
Seriously Braxton. M Anime had this dream, which she wrote into a short story about… She said a crazy general wanted to make her a mother. He did “Bad Things” to her, but she ended up enjoying them. Then he spoke of having sons with her. Breeding? A kinky fetish…
Braxton, as the song asks, “Am I A Psycho?” Well, I’m writing a full-blown manuscript.
Writers, by nature, have to be a little crazy. But “Cries Come Women, Come Country.” Braxton that has been clawing its way through my mind for days. An Erotic Horror? A War Thriller? I don’t know. But if you’re meant to be a man… M Anime and me, B III. Your resurrection. Me as your father. Renewing Braxton’s Membership Virgil.
“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)
Always and Forever,
Your Dad