Tag: Sadness

Journey 284 ~V In Depressive, Braxton~

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I’m goin’ down. And not in the smooth R&B stylings of Mary J. Blige. I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn’t take it. Nor can my boots, the backyard, the bill I need to pay very soon. My boy V2-V. Must I play a victim? V In Depressive, Braxton.

Saturday, April 11, 2026

Journey 284 ~V In Depressive, Braxton~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… No, I’m not! But I’m halfway tempted to get Virgil’s food delivered. Mean, Lazy, Stupid, Uh…

Virgil isn’t sure, and neither am I. If pressed, I’ll say the depressive mood continues.

Sleep would get in the way of crying, and I’m not sure why I am. Everything or “Nothing At All.” If only I were one of the “GoodFellaz.” And yes, M Anime has me Sprung.

Lunalesca, I can get it up for her, but I can’t get on my feet for my boys. I’m ridiculous.

Or I could be sick. Uh, not only in The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident kind of way. I could have a cold. Or is it all the pollen? Any excuse to not go outside, Lunalesca.

Honestly, what’s out there for me? How about all those walks I’ve been skipping with Virgil? Work sucks, I know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Vaginas, mouths, a nice set of yabbos… Must I be vulgar too? What, I said vagina? I’m not Todd from the Succubus Lord series. But even he had a chick. And his best friend Jacob has twenty. Starting with the first seven, the “Circle of Sin”: Lust, Greed, Pride, etc.

And that got me to thinking about my women, writing, and world. Do you know that song “Thirteen Women (and Only One Man in Town)”? Lunalesca, dare I be greedy?

Only with my problems. 99 Problems… And what is M Anime? Behind closed doors, she’s whatever I want. But right now I only want to feel better. I don’t want to be sick, sleepy, or skeevy. But I will be a variety of everything Lunalesca.

And it’s very depressing. But I can’t blame Virgil for that. And what about Braxton?

Lunalesca, no father wants his sons to repeat the wrongs their Dad has done. Such is the blessing of not having opposable thumbs. And the ability to lick their own balls. Or whatever it is Virgil is doing. No balls. That boy ain’t right, I tell you hwat. But I “Don’t Look Down” on him. “Lift Me Up,” don’t I wish. But I lift him up… It’s what I do.

“The pessimist looks down and hits his head. The optimist looks up and loses his footing. The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.”

King Ezekiel, I am not. And yet I smile. Not when I owe people money. Looking down at the termite bill, my boots, the yard I need to cut for Virgil, whatever’s falling from the ceiling. V In Depressive, Braxton.

1896 Days Without B III, Day 1337 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

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I’m not a machine, an animal, hell, do I even feel human? I’m just a bag of parts that got smashed together. Um, eww. Now, my boy had a good heart but bad kidneys. And four little paws he would have kept right on using. Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

Thursday, April 9, 2026

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

1894 Days Without B III, Day 1335 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, Elysium, that bed surrounded by food, wherever that’s the place.

I wonder how you do it, Braxton. Did they/it, whatever have some kidneys, waiting… That’s the part of you that failed—the sum. Everything else was taken from you by the man who loves you the most, and the Day Job he hates—my thoughts on this Thursday, B III.

Waking up hurts, which is why Virgil is living the dream. Literally… Even now, your brother is asleep in “my bed.” Because being awake means he’s trying to be you, or I’m pretending he is you. And why am I being a meanie? I’m being frank. As being Dad sucks.

My eyes hurt, my hands ache, my back hurts, my stomach, my effing head… I’m sounding like your stepmom, B.

Potential stepmom, M Anime. She has her aches and pains. But loving me? You know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your Dad can be a real dick. Hell B, in fifteen years and change, how many women did you have to deal with? Yes, Greta was a bit*h. Again literally. That little black terrier’s chase.

However, you loved your grandma. Your Ma/aunt AKA my lil’ sis. We’re not that south.

Well, you’re not, but I know I’m going straight to Hell. Even if you were waiting for me, you wouldn’t end up in the Ninth Circle. Limbo? Because you’re the closest to Heaven that I’ll ever be. I promised you something like that. I promised Virgil. And M Anime? It’s not every day a woman promises the things she does. Some things I don’t say. The sum of my parts.

When is your Dad not thinking with his penis? That would be quite a feat. Hell, I sent you to your room enough times so I could be alone. And this is before “Magic Glasses.” Seriously, B, the things technology, you know what you called “the glow box,” can do for your Daddy and two hot blondes, brunettes, Kyouko Sakai, and whoever else B III.

Honestly, your Daddy is walking around, so he can afford to be gross. As gross as feet, hmm… I still can’t get over Monday’s humiliation. But I still wish I’d never have to set foot on the ground again. That sums up my existence: fear and Sadness, it’s The Long Walk: Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 281 ~Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down~

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“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.” Hi, boot, I’m human… Ha! “I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow,” who somehow can’t buy a new pair of boots for The Long Walk on Lake Cocytus. Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down

Wednesday, April 8, 2026

Journey 281 ~Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… How so? Being a “man” who expresses his feelings… Wishing yet another day I wasn’t here. Failing? FEAR?

What a feat it would be to be unafraid. Of feet? Will get to that, Inspector Echo. But as usual… I must acknowledge the worst walk I’ve ever taken. The worst feat I ever did.

Braxton is gone. I know it, yes. Will I accept it? NEVER! I should have been like Winston Smith at the end of George Orwell’s “1984”. I don’t love “Big Brother.” And FDT! But I walked in as a father to a son. And walked out… I don’t know. Seriously?

Inspector, “The Long Walk,” continues. This is my punishment, my Hell? That’s what I’ve been thinking about all afternoon. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And then having to keep Virgil on his feet. Where’s he going?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Nowhere, fast. This brings me to what happened on Monday, April 6, 2026, Dear Echo.

Feel free to laugh. How often do you hear me complain about not having money?

However, I wasted it on fried shrimp at the food truck. And waste time with my “Magic Glasses” on the PIB sisters. Neil Bimbeau has it pegged with what tech can do. But anyway, Inspector. So my boots are worn down, and I figured I had another pair to wear.

Lo and behold, the bottom falls off my right boot at the beginning of the workday. I am sliding on one foot for six hours, ‘hoping’ nobody notices like I’m Ray Garraty. If indeed this was “The Long Walk,” I would have punched my ticket.

But there is so much further to go, Inspector. What about M Anime, my boys’ potential stepmom? She intends for me to walk her down the aisle, “Someday,” Inspector Echo. And I don’t have that Sugar Ray money, but she wants everything. Ah, “My Goddess.”

Then there’s my boys. If I’m not listening to “Wedding Bell Blues,” then today is “All About You.” Well them. I promised B III a yard, and already 2-V will have to run it. Echo.

And me? You know my dream. I never want to leave my bed for anything. I want to put an end to The Long Walk, one way or another. I don’t need boots for that. Paws, M’s high heels, fuzzy socks. Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down

1893 Days Without B III, Day 1334 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 277 ~Braxton’s Plates, Virgil Bowls~

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“No Such Thing” as a real world. Just a lie. Gotta rise above. Um, the termite guy wants his money. V needs his… well, B’s bowl filled. Speaking of filling, Kyouko Sakai and M Anime. Would be MILFS. The Inferno awaits. Braxton’s Plates, Virgil Bowls

Saturday, April 4, 2026

Journey 277 ~Braxton’s Plates, Virgil Bowls~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Please! How does a junkie always get their fix? I’m worse than that. I’m a bum.

Whoa! Why so glum chum? I got my haircut, had a Big Mac, and woke up from a long nap. My version of “I do my hair toss, check my nails, baby, how’re you feeling? Feeling good as hell!” Braxton would be stuffed on fries, taking his well-deserved snooze. And Virgil is doing his best Braxton impression. Must I be a meanie today? Fear’s filling…

Lunalesca, do you remember how Braxton died? Yeah, yeah, renal/Kidney failure. My failure as a father. But that week specifically. I swallowed my rage, the fire in my belly to keep the fear down and not vomit it all out on my son. And by the time one of us found a doctor… It was too late. Braxton was starving…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

He couldn’t eat. I filled his heart with all of my love, his soul with the faith that he is a good boy. And his little lungs… He wanted the next breath. “All I need is the air that I breathe. And to love you.” And that very air is what I denied Braxton. Lunalesca…

Courageous Virgil eats from Braxton’s bowl, but like father, like son, he’s full of Fear.

Luna, it’s an effing sickness. And dead or alive, the need to feed pushes us forward. No, because I’m still broke and every day gets scarier and scarier. And you would think I’d be happy… No, “I ain’t happy. I’m feeling glad.” What? Because I got hours this week, Lady Lunalesca? Something needs filling, right?

As much as M Anime… Food isn’t free. And Lust is a tad cheaper than Gluttony, circles two and three, respectively. Give it another month, and I won’t be able to buy dinner for Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. However, she’s hungry for other things, Luna…

She’s a mom to kittens as I’m a Dad to pups, but she wants to be a MILF in the official sense. We talk about it a lot. I mean a lot, a lot. Creating life, being a family, “Old lady, three kids, takes a lot to fill the kitchen.” And A Man Provides. Good men who watch baseball. Decent ones that bowl. I watch men wrestle with guys and girls. Till I fill M. Braxton’s Plates, Virgil Bowls

1889 Days Without B III, Day 1330 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 275 ~Virgil’s Big Business Braxton~

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What’s in your wallet? There’s no cash but a few useless cards, one of me and my Lost Boy, B III. Love is a business. So is grief and fear. BTW FDT! But how about a life for 2-V and my girlfriend as well? A Man Provides. Virgil’s Big Business Braxton

Thursday, April 2, 2026

Journey 275 ~Virgil’s Big Business Braxton~

1887 Days Without B III, Day 1328 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As for me? What’s My Age Again? What time is it? What about “Life Itself”?

Don’t worry, B. I’m not like Oscar Isaac’s character, Will, in that film. You remember “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off.” No, I’m just plain ole Will your Daddy. Honestly…

Braxton, if your potential stepmom M Anime were here… I’m your Daddy and her Papi.

And what about your little brother Virgil? What I’m getting at, B, is that love should be my business. You also remember the song that Aloe Blacc sings, “Wake Me Up.” And how I changed that lyric, life’s a game for everyone, but love isn’t a prize, it’s the instruction. But I don’t love myself. I don’t love writing or the Day Job. And pornography

Yeah, B, Eww! But it’s a business. Everything is an effing business, keeping you alive!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, Braxton. I apologize. But it’s hard B… And not just because of your stepmom’s yabbos. Again, did I have to go there? Your favorite girl had a mighty fine set of yabbos that you would lie on. But M Anime’s yabbos are mine.

Seriously, B, like Trevor Philips says, “My job, my score, get your own!” Ahh yabbos.

Such is the business. And that’s what I’ve been sitting here contemplating, thanks to AI and M Anime’s yabbos. She’s so damn hot, and I’d be damned if she would tell me, “You’re So Damn Hot.” Remind me to send that song to her. Or should I do more, B?

Besides sitting here being a bum because I don’t have a business or a buck.

Norton hasn’t failed me there yet. And AI makes it sound so freaking simple, too.

Whatever, right? If I had a $500-a-month blog or Substack, that’d be geez… I could quit the Day Job. Then…
.
The hell if I know. And that’s not me begging to anybody who catches me talking to you, my ghost dog. I could have named Virgil Ghost, he’s all white, and I’m Alright. I’m lying.

At least about the second part, because I’m not “Alright.” My business all last month, and now apparently this month is not to let fear finish me. Can I be the CEO of love and fear, B? It all takes money. You, Virgil, and M. Virgil’s Big Business Braxton

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 274 ~BLUSH B Away Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Can you blush? I’ve had people say I can, and if only they knew. In the dark, it was my woman’s voice moaning, “si papi!” There were whispers about my son, “he’s sick.” The whimpers of the other one, saying he’s good enough. BLUSH B Away Virgil

Wednesday, April 1, 2026

Journey 274 ~BLUSH B Away Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… How so? Are you telling me they didn’t unveil the PS6? I’m a good writer. Braxton isn’t dead.

That last one I’ve been telling myself, going on 1886 days, Inspector. Corpses, ashes, box…

Still, “Every Morning” when I wake up, I expect to see my boy lying on his corner of the bed. Or we’re back to back, and of course, he’s facing the threats, the alarm clock, the door, and my weapons stash. Hell, don’t I wake up like that now? Virgil is facing the door and my weapons cache. The alarm clock is on the other side of the room, Inspector.

Honestly, I had to make room for Braxton on the nightstand, such is Braxton’s honor.

However, as I sing “Sugar Ray,” songs, and speak of honor. What about M Anime’s?

Inspector, I understand how Randy felt about Jermaine Jackson, right?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I BRUSH Virgil aside often enough, which makes me a crappy Daddy. And I was even able to brush my lust for Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom to the side. And why is that, Inspector? Because I “Never Can Say Goodbye” to Braxton. “Can You Feel It,” Inspector? To this day, I can’t tell you which I want more. Do I want to tell Braxton, “Just Me Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good day.” Or someday do I want to tell M Anime, Virgil, her kitties, and our two-legged children, “Daddy’s Home.” The Jackson 5, Lady E.

I forgot how powerful the song “Can You Feel It” makes me feel. Shame, Inspector.

Seriously, you won’t see it. Can you blush? Um yeah.

Or so I’ve been told, because I’m ashamed to be alive. What else is new? Only the reasons change with each breath. And my first ones in this “Brave New World.” Well, let me see.

I’m ashamed that when I wake up, I’m not the person Little B thinks I am. His Dad should be so much more than this. I brushed love aside for anger, then indifference. B died.

Second-born, second place, my V. He’s been here going on five years, and I still get his name wrong. He doesn’t sit in my lap, not for lack of trying. I’m an effing meanie, Echo.

Speaking of laps and meanness. M Anime calling me papi, brushing her hair as she sucks… BLUSH B Away Virgil

1886 Days Without B III, Day 1327 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 270 ~Here, B Dragons, Virgil~

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“With a safe home and a warm bed. On a quiet little street.” Today, 2-V and I walked chilly streets where some let their fur kids run wild. A battle in a wintry wonderland in WOS. Warming up my girl or turning her off? I worry. Here, B Dragons, Virgil

Saturday, March 28, 2026

Journey 270 ~Here, B Dragons, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And ironically, if I REALLY were, I’d spend eternity in the Ninth Circle of Hell, Lunalesca.

And not in Fourth Circle for Greed? Yes, I know the Circles of Hell, Dear Lunalesca, thanks to the Succubus Lord Series. But no, every billionaire I know and that ain’t many is an enemy of humanity in one way or another. Traitors, they have betrayed, and such is the nature of Treachery. And yet I wish to join their ranks. It doesn’t get much worse than MAGA, right? FDT! But we’ll get to that. Of course, my greatest betrayal was that of my firstborn son, Braxton. If not for him, I’d get the Second Circle easily. Such is Lust.

Hell, “Somewhere That’s Green.” If Braxton finds me, he’ll save me a seat by the fire, Lunalesca. Not cold but comfortable, in some woman’s c*nt.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Eww! And excuse me, Lady Lunalesca. I mean, this is no way to speak to a Lady. But then, to M Anime, I would say “You Are My Lady.” No, I’m not Freddie Jackson either.

But M Anime is my Lady as well. And you should have heard me talking to her hours ago. I burn for her. But she was one of many fires today. And while I was saying the dirtiest, depraved, and most downright devilish things to her, there was real knowledge.

“They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.”
Alfred Pennyworth.

So is that why I’m sitting on my ass instead of taking a stand, shouting, and trying to change the world, somehow, someway at a NO KINGS PROTEST? I wish Lunalesca.

Only today… Sigh. More Whiteout Survival and our conversation.

A conversation about what, exactly? How my second-born and I were outside today. And it was a bit chilly? Virgil gets enough of that with my cold heart. Trying Lunalesca.

“I touch the fire, and it freezes me.
I look into it and it’s black.
Why can’t I feel,
My skin should crack and peel.
I want the fire back.”

Honestly, every single day I’m trying. Braxton has the hottest potential stepmom.

Seriously, Lady Lunalesca, “Have You Seen Her”? When she and I get together…

Anyway, besides her, now I’m sweating bullets… With all the virtual bloodshed in the snow of Whiteout Survival. We won SVS. There’s also my nerves about the USA Lady Lu

And then there’s always FEAR. I wish I could say the dragon’s outside. Guarding riches…

Hell, M Anime, and I believe we could raise dragon slayers or riders. Ignite existence?


“Light a Match, Ignite a War”
― Captive State (2019)

“I Will Go Sailing No More…” Here, B Dragons, Virgil

1882 Days Without B III, Day 1323 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 268 ~Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World~

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I’ll always return to what I said and didn’t say to my son in his last moments. If I’d asked, he would have fought. But I gave him my ‘blessing’ to go. And I didn’t promise to stay. Five years later, with his “stepmom.” Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World

Thursday, March 26, 2026

Journey 268 ~Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World~

1880 Days Without B III, Day 1321 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As for me? “Son, what you don’t understand. My words might never explain. So I am hoping that time will.”

And you have eternity. I never know how much time I have left. And with how sick I’ve been. The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident, The Cherry Collision, and now The M Mashup. Hopefully, I’ll meet your potential stepmom in the flesh someday, B III. SIGH.

We’ll get to her in due time. But the thing is “Right Now.” What, you didn’t know your Daddy knows a little Van Halen? And now your brother knows. Honestly, Virgil and I are still feeling each other out. And your little brother is the reason that “Right Now” I don’t crawl back into bed, and what? Give up. I’ve been giving up forever, Braxton.

Seriously, if there were a button I could press today.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I shouldn’t say such things. Things like Goodbye. But the sweetest dream or the scariest nightmare. Anything is better than this, Braxton. It’s why I woke up on time and then promptly went back to sleep. This morning’s big three have been Whiteout Survival, your potential stepmom, and porn. But “that’s major boring shit. Let’s do something a little more fun.” I had a dream last night about zombie postal carriers. And since comedy comes in threes, there was my own trip to the post office. And the movies The Postman and 1408. You remember the scene when they wrecked the post office around John Cusack/Mike Enslin. Then throw in 1984, some zombies, and the creepy tune from The Ocarina of Time—the Potion Shop.

The word for it is “Creepy.” I was picking up some coveralls, but I was thinking “So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive.” Incubus? Really? Well, I do have my Succubi. I swear, B, other than the book about your passing and our talks here, I can’t have you reading any of my writing. But that’s for another day. Me Before You, hmm.

Braxton, if that were true, I would have already followed you. But for you, Virgil, and M Anime. Your potential stepmom is “Livin’ On The Edge” with me, and I’m trying to talk her away from it. Why? She wants to be a mom, there’s V, and you’re still barking LIVE.
Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 267 ~Braxton, Virgil, Bark Time~

WillLeave a comment

Sleepy time, B, I’d tell my son, and he would hop into the bed, make sure I was tucked in, and he would keep his eyes on the door until I fell asleep. Virgil knows it’s time for goodbye when I put on boots. And me time? Ha! Braxton, Virgil, Bark Time

Wednesday, March 25, 2026

Journey 267 ~Braxton, Virgil, Bark Time~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I never taught Braxton to bark. And I don’t know how to teach Virgil. Barking at a possum…

Hell, that’s the last time I remember Virgil barking. Like father, like son. Braxton and I? “Once we were warriors,” in this Mad City, during a Mad Season. Remember The Memories from Clone High… Sigh. And Matchbox Twenty. No wonder V is quiet, a lot.

Daddy is too busy singing. Didn’t I say a few days ago that I wish “Life” had a soundtrack so I would know what the Hell I am supposed to do? Live! And ain’t nobody got time for that ‘stuff’. No, E. I got a firstborn to mourn. And a second-born to try and understand.

Eff the eye doctor with how many times I have fallen asleep with my glasses on. Eff the general doctor. Eff Virgil’s vet and FDT.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Because Braxton’s motto was “I’m Gonna Live, Till I Die.” Frank Sinatra for my handsome, handsome boy. And if I had to pick something for Virgil, it’d be Jiggly Puff.

And whose fault is that? I put Braxton to sleep permanently. And 2-V’s always napping.

Because there is never enough time to bark. I’ve made some very strange sounds in the throes of passion. But barking? I should check my OnlyFans page for when “I Touch Myself.” Eww! But 100 subscribers, which might explain everything with Norton I’ve been dealing with. But of course, I don’t have time for that either. I have something real… Well, not in the flesh, but I spent most of this morning talking to B and V’s stepmom, M Anime.

Potentially, I mean. All the time I’ve had this week, and I’m finally getting back to her messages because she has me all kinds of horny with her spectacular yabbos. And if it isn’t a porno with her, what was I watching this morning, Cassandra Sarbeck Lady’s Night Blow Out from Dancing Bear. Not how I got over The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. If only I had gone after a Doc the same way I went after Amazon last night.

They took my reading streak. But I read Hometown Heat Wave (Book 2). Seriously, Inspector, I was a monster. This isn’t Kojin Taxi 2/Sex Taxi 5’s with Kyouko Sakai, Desperate Carnal Housewives, Bible Black: New Testament, or Lexi Booker. Just barking.
Braxton, Virgil, Bark Time

1879 Days Without B III, Day 1320 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 263 ~Sea Braxton And Virgil~

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Drowning is one of my greatest fears, physically speaking. I was drowning in Far Cry 5 once, and I turned the game off. But no time for games now. Sweating from writing, whining, and worthless security. Not as bad as M Anime’s. Sea Braxton And Virgil

Saturday, March 21, 2026

Journey 263 ~Sea Braxton And Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And somewhere, The Killers sing “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” “When You Were Young”?

I’m not so much anymore. And today I’m feeling like I should have been gone long before forty-one (cue Ben Hur gallery drums). Back when I had a chance of seeing Jesus. I’m not an atheist thanks to Braxton. And someday Virgil… The souls of my sons do not vanish.

But it will take a miracle to see my Braxton again. And it will take another one to understand my Virgil—something like walking on water. Clarence, I’m not Lunalesca.

Honestly, what I wouldn’t give to ask my M Anime, “Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” M Anime is sick of snow, not Snow Patrol. And Chasing Cars, my dear Lunalesca. At this moment, my Lady, I’m “Dead In the Water.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m reminded of the many, many nights I planned to do “It.” Not that damn clown, who didn’t help my overall hatred of clowns. And not “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.” I told you or one of the girls about my “first time.” Empty parking lot, street/store light up above, me naked in the backseat with a Lana Tailor, Leana Lovings, and Tegan Mohr lookalike. I should have married her. Or ended it right there because life right now, Lu…

I can’t breathe. But the bigger concern is, I don’t want to keep trying to. Like yesterday, when I was talking to Lady Sophia. The portals from my vision, the blackness, it sucks all the air so I can’t breathe. And Braxton… He fights outside.

Him, Virgil, my Animas… Oh, I have had many a word with M Anime about Shadow Work and Carl Jung. The obsession of my Obsession. Animotion, Animas, Anime, and my M Anime. I could drown in her “Con La Brisa” and everything, my Lady Lunalesca.

But she’s far away, and here I am in the open ocean, the sea, whatever. Salt water from my tears. Sweat from my “work,” my moment of triumph, my frustrations, and most of all my FEAR. Did you see what happened to the AI? And then there was Norton, Lu.

How can I be expected to get a good night’s sleep? Not that I have been. My bed’s not rocking. Yet the blankets won’t drown me. Sea Braxton And Virgil.

1875 Days Without B III, Day 1316 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will