Tag: Noise

Tale 299 ~We’ll B Professional, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What do you want to be when you grow up? Who says I want to grow up? Birthing babies is a promising career…. But instead, I look up how they’re made. But first, I had to be someone’s Dad. And now I’m someone’s benefactor. We’ll B Professional, Virgil

Thursday, April 25, 2024

Tale 299 ~We’ll B Professional, Virgil~

1180 Days Without B III, Day 621 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Considering we’re talking today, you can guess how this Thursday is going. What’s today’s song?

“Feeling super, super, super suicidal” ― Teen Idle by MARINA

But isn’t this me every day, Braxton? It’s as natural as the sound of your breath or footsteps down the hall. Virgil, though? Why am I so tired? Depression, Dejection, and that doggie in the window. Or rather, it was the gate I found Virgil behind at PetSmart. I’m struggling, Braxton, and I need your understanding. And Virgil’s a “dog.”

Braxton, you were anything but. Then, now, and always, you are my son. Together, we are a team. And how many times did I say I would get you one of those little red vests, Braxton? You would be my emotional support “dog.” With my money situation, you could serve as my therapist. A critic continues to tell me that I should seek professional help. Uh yeah, Sherlock. But your support means more to me than any professional help could.

That reminds me. I should find an animal communicator, too.

What? I don’t appreciate talking to you like this. I’m distracted, disturbed, and dehydrated too. I can only blame two of those things on Virgil. Why am I so mean?

Braxton, I am far from professional. I’m not a perfect person; I’ll concede to that. Parenting is not a profession… Well, I’m sure several homemakers will disagree. But when I became your Dad, it was because the Olds (my parents) misjudged my little sister. She thought it was a mistake that she was told to take care of you, B. Then there was me. Such is fate. But know this…

You’re my son, my miracle.

That is the reasoning of a God, and I’m not even that much of a man. But being a Dad, a Superman, It’s Not Easy.

Only that wasn’t your fault. And it’s not Virgil’s either. He’s here. There is a soft place for his head. And holy smokes, he’s mine. Have I miscalculated, misjudged, and got it wrong, Braxton? Why am I saying this all now? This week. It’s been A Hard Day’s Night, but…

It’s only Sunday, April 21, 2024, and sleep has been challenging. Virgil’s career is crying.

Braxton, what about me? I’d have a career in the ‘adult’ industry. Not doing it but finding it. And what about being an author? Or, if anything, anyone worthwhile. Hmm. I’m lost, Braxton, and I need your guidance as always.

Nope! If only failure was a profession. A box to check on some form. The box you rest in on the nightstand. An Ordinary Human. Good? We’ll B Professional, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 297 ~ That’ll B Lovely, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Life is… beautiful? Everything is… awesome? That’ll be… lovely. And how about existence? I hate this phrase, but “it is what it is.” If something is “good” for others, that is great. Then there’s my boys and their lives, Huh. That’ll B Lovely, Virgil

Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Tale 297 ~ That’ll B Lovely, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… But what does that mean now? That I pay? Part of me yearns for you…

Probably you want me to close my eyes, close my eyes, and relax, think of nothing tonight… That nothing is my firstborn son, Braxton. And tonight? It’s Thursday, April 18, 2024. Braxton is still gone. And this coming week? God, I want to join him.

Braxton is love. So are you. So are they. The family we have made together, this existence, the life that we share… I didn’t ask some father in heaven or one down here on Earth.

Love, I didn’t even ask the one I see staring back at me through the mirror. So, what did I want in this existence? It doesn’t come with a menu. But how much is that doggie in the window? I don’t know. Braxton was/is lovely.

And now I sit here in bed. Why… After seeing that little face. The touch of B III’s soft fur. I would hear Braxton’s happiness every time I returned. The taste of food before sharing.

Smell… please ew. In fifteen years, B learned to go outside. And “with that in mind, a soft, nice-smelling girl’s better.” With all the songs I listen to, why can’t I hear I love you?

I know you do, baby. Despite me being a baby. And you asking me anything and everything except the obvious. Because if you ever did, it would be cruel, ugly, and vile, my sweet love. And I’m trying. When I saw V, I thought, “That’ll be lovely.” A fur kid.

His life’s far from lovely.

But again, what about ours? What About Us, What About The Rest Of Us? Anyone? Indeed, everyone is asking me that. And it’s not fair to any of you. To just be lovely, like something to be picked up for dinner. I mean, there’s lovely. And then there’s, well, more. I can sing Isn’t She Lovely about each of our daughters. And what about our sons. I hope they are better men than me. Wasn’t B III, and what about Virgil? Hmm. Virgil Vivi’s trying.

Everything is lovely and awesome. But I want it to be… Well, how it never will be. Braxton should be here to see it. And if I can love as my firstborn son loved me, love. That’ll B Lovely, Virgil

1178 Days Without B III, Day 619 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 295 ~Virgil Presses The B’s~

WillLeave a comment

A happy worker bee? Well, I wasn’t. But Braxton? Protect the house and protect me. And I’m sure my son minored in psychology. Virgil on the other paw. He drifts from one comfy spot to the next because what have I taught him? “Virgil Presses The B’s.”

Sunday, April 21, 2024

Tale 295 ~Virgil Presses The B’s~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And your land isn’t flowing with milk and honey yet. Doesn’t that involve work? Take a shower, for starters. You have the power to change your circumstances.

DO SOMETHING! That means more than reading so many books on “relations.” There’s more than waiting on The Walking Dead. You’re here, looking at yourself in the mirror like 1984’s O’Brien and Winston. That’s a pretty gruesome image. It explains why we don’t like each other and makes you miss B III all the more. And what about Virgil Vivi?

He’s sleeping on the floor waiting. For what? For you? What will you do besides waiting for the next P.Y.T. that comes across your feed, reel, or timeline? Whatever. And isn’t that what put Braxton in a box? The critic never understands this… Braxton, the “dog,” was euthanized. Happy now? Anyway, it was that whatever attitude, indifference, and apathy for him and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 5, Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Don’t be like me. A B Keeper? It’s too late for that. And this coming week, it’s not like you’ll have much time for the newest blockbuster. I enjoyed watching ‘Civil War,’ But you don’t have time for movies now. Remember, time wasted is time you can never get back.

And I’m not just talking about the ones in the box office. But the kind of pictures and movies that turn learning Japanese from a hobby into a necessity. The type that makes the song “Turning Japanese” make sense. Uh…

I could go on. But why not read another book? What book are you reading this week… If you can find the time, it won’t be something about missing Braxton. And Virgil is due for an annual veterinary appointment. With what money? Hmm. Make it!

By doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Possessive Stepbrother (Steamy Shorts Book 1)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And why isn’t love on the list? Because Virgil is still on the floor, and you don’t want to look up at yourself. It’s easier to press down on these keys before you than face yourself. Speaking of keys, you’ll have to leave to go to the Day Job. And then what will you do?

You’ll have all your buttons pressed. And the only thing they’ll do is have you wanting to press yourself down harder on this bed that you can never leave. But you don’t want to either. You wake up, and you have to exist in the hive. A worker bee. Hilarious…

Because if you were, your boy would have lived. You’d find love. You’d DO SOMETHING! Anything! Virgil Presses The B’s.

1176 Days Without B III, Day 617 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 292 ~B By Later, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Two well-formed lumps of fat gyrating in my general direction… Ladies and gentlemen, why I’m not Gay or Bi. But I was a Dad once. I’m a Dad now… V. But the last girls V saw were family. But with grief, gyration, and me being a guy. B By Later, Virgil

Thursday, April 18, 2024

Tale 292 ~B By Later, Virgil~

1173 Days Without B III, Day 614 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Mine’s only just begun, and it’s terrible. Could it be worse? Skip a few pages…

I wouldn’t read you any of Eric Vall’s novels. Though… I’m sure you would appreciate all the “relations” regarding food, which reminds me. I need to check and see if I’ll get to eat next week. Trust me, B, I should enjoy our time together because next week will be… Well, I won’t care for it. But the same goes for today. I have already failed! Sigh. Such is existence.

But even if I went back to sleep. B III I would wake up and see you sitting at the foot of the bed in the corner, protecting me. Those were better days, Little B. Do I need to talk about grief, graves, or goodbyes today? I remember these moments, B, and they comfort me in this sea of sorrow.

It’s seven in the morning. And already, I want this day to end. Myself included.

But there’s no ending to my grieving, B. It’s a constant ache that won’t go away. And that will not make me any cash, but for you… My little Endling. You’ve been gone 1173 days, and I’m still looking up names to call you. At least I’m getting Virgil’s name right. These days. He deserves that, Braxton. Don’t you agree?

You will have to wait for the chance to talk, B. And it’s not because I have a dream, again…

I’ve continued to think about that movie I saw with Virgil the other day. 2003’s “Share?” I’m sure you led me to that one, too. Hulu’s “The Mill.” And Fifteen Million Merits as well, B.

I exist in life like Daniel Kaluuya, who plays Bingham Madsen. You wouldn’t believe what Cherry thought about that mention.

Rumor Has It… I like guys, or I’m Bi, at least. (Shakes head and smiles with a tear) My B.

I trust two men in this world, and you were one of them. But I have only loved one man in this world, and that is the son I raised. I swear, B III, girls sometimes can be just… (huffs). It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, and I’m just trying to hold on. Like Hell, huh?

As far as finding you, or I should say, Virgil, a momma… Love died in bed in the vet’s office. So while I’m all about Girls, Girls, Girls… I’ll Never Fall In Love Again, Braxton.

The End? Never say never, but I can’t just turn a page and see what happens unless I start publishing books and cut out my self-fulfillment. B By Later, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 290 ~Love Bugs B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I haven’t been bitten by the love bug in some time. When’s the last time I’ve been outside other than to let V out. Or go anywhere I didn’t want to go. What bugs me the most. Breathing. I wish I could make it worthwhile. Love Bugs B, Virgil

Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Tale 290 ~Love Bugs B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… But while you always tell and show me, I miss Braxton—you and them. Virgil?

Money makes such a lovely sound. But is it love? For the love of money. If I had it 1,171 days ago, would it have saved my firstborn son, my B? Food insecurity? Never, love! Today, Sunday, April 7, 2024. I’m only thinking about all the problems in the kitchen. Braxton’s food still sits on the counter. Three years? Is that a problem? Frightening, Mad?

Even now, I want to yell out to Braxton to take his medicine or fill up his food and water bowls. I do that for V anyway, but it’s not the same, and it sounds stupid. Doesn’t sound like love…

Like the kitchen faucet that’s acting up, the shelf that fell down, or a messed-up drawer. This mess, I swear.

If that ain’t love, then I don’t know what love is. A well-loved house that I should fix for the living. In doing so, I would honor my Braxton. It’s slowly eating away at me.

Inspecting for termites when I would instead be blasting my way through Terminids, Automatons, and whatever else in the game Helldivers 2. What’s one more distraction? Hmm. I need anything and everything to make some noise. Grieving, Hating, but Loving…

Trying to remember what love sounds like bugs me. Only I want to hear it. You and me, always and forever, my love. I want to place the two of us under the covers. Really?
Hey, it beats me thinking about Maiko Kaneda all day. Your husband has a type.

The two of us love bugs. Those two-legged children of ours, bugging mommy and daddy. Someday, I might even look at Virgil as such. One of our kids. But he didn’t have a choice, my love. I can’t say I was even bitten by the love bug. More like I was bitten by my B. And it would have pained me to leave without Virgil. Only I was being selfish or even obtuse with love. Seriously, what’s with all my talk of bugs anyway? Extermination?

Breathing bugs me. Every breath I take. Take this morning for example. I lied here reading, and Virgil was shoving against me. As long as I didn’t look at him, I could imagine Braxton, love bug. Love Bugs B, Virgil

1171 Days Without B III, Day 612 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 288 ~Braxton, Virgil, Damage Report~

WillLeave a comment

I’m sure THEY once asked, “What’s your malfunction?” Or “What’s your damage?” How long do you have? B had fifteen years. And he went to the grave, seeing me cry about something. And V’s damage. I should figure that out. Braxton, Virgil, Damage Report

Sunday, April 14, 2024

Tale 288 ~Braxton, Virgil, Damage Report~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And it sucks to be you right now. Too bad Braxton and Virgil can’t talk. Then again…

Your boys were/are honest men. It’s one of the reasons Virgil isn’t sitting here today. Braxton’s room is safer? B could be a ghost or some other type of spirit. And while you’ve been busy reading about those ghosts, a coven of witches, and a college boy possessed by a satanic entity, what are you? One more day down, only to rise. Not exactly resurrected.

In your head, zombie, zombie…

If only you could make Braxton the Cerberus of your thoughts? Strange, isn’t it? Virgil. He got his name because he was supposed to guide you through this. What? Inferno?

Today, though, what do you know? At 10:00 AM, you have already failed at existence. You’re content reading about others’ successes. Your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Golden Son (Red Rising Book 2)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

But seeing how you still have this list means you have another chance. Yeah, it’s another opportunity to fail. And since you’ve already made one list, here’s another. Damage Report!

Let’s start with you. Do you remember the Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident and The Cherry Collision? How sick were you? Now, you feel the opposite of that illness. It’s scary.

The backyard fence is breaking. Before long, there will be more holes. And then what? Going inside, the kitchen faucet has low pressure. But still, you need to do something to fix it. And you need to check on the bathroom downstairs. Have any guests around? And what about the floor itself? The mess that was made. Tax Refund is currently $335.00. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 5, Eric Vall
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So how do you fix it? You got an answer for that: money. So here’s a question: How do you make money? You know what you’ll be doing all day. Besides being lazy? You are going to worry about the Day Job. Okay, so how do you stop worrying about your Day Job? You sit down and write. Did you say that out loud? Now, that’s my fault. I’m sorry.

For forty-five minutes, I was getting into those motivational speeches yesterday. It gave you loads of false hope that everything would be alright. Uh, no. Not now, not ever. Sigh.

And so you sit here, not the captain of your own “existence,” not even a survivor. Looking to your boys, asking Braxton, Virgil, Damage Report

1169 Days Without B III, Day 610 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 285 ~B A Dream Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I think Virgil loves the couch as much as Braxton did/does. I could trust Braxton to find his potty spot but Virgil. If he jumps off the sofa or bed, I must follow him. So it doesn’t help with sleeping. And then I have nightmares… “B A Dream Virgil.”

Thursday, April 11, 2024

Tale 285 ~B A Dream Virgil~

1166 Days Without B III, Day 607 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It’s 9:00 AM, and I’m done with the day. Did I have a good night?

For an hour and some change, I did. It was movie night, minus your Aunt Carolina. Another negative is that I woke up with all the lights on at 2:30 AM. After the movie, B.

“Share?” was a pretty decent flick. Do I owe this one to you as well? From Hulu’s The Mill” to Black Mirror’s “Fifteen Million Merits.” I’m giving you credit for when I went to see “The Book of Clarence.” And there was also, The American Society of Magical… Anyway, I didn’t dream those last two wouldn’t make any money. But that’s what I want to talk about today, B III, dreams. And I mean, I’m doing all the talking because your Dad’s selfish, as usual. I’m confused, and I need your help understanding B III.

Just like old times, huh? So I have/had a dream.

We were at a restaurant at Disney World. Such a grand dream for someone, who’s been craving a simple cheeseburger and fries for a week. Now I have to bring “The Menu into this. You know your Dad has a thing for brunettes. Or was Anya Taylor-Joy’s hair more copper? Anyway, I’m losing the point. I should go shopping today but what time is it?

Braxton, okay. We were in the restaurant, you, me, and V, whose fur was white. All over, I mean. Spotless. And he was sleeping in your bed, which screams I’m dreaming, right? After eating, we returned to the house, and then I remembered. Or should I say I forgot something? One of my boys? But you and Virgil were here.

I forgot myself in “The Happiest Place On Earth.” As I remember, I find myself in one of those rooms in the movie “Share?” And I was being burned alive. Then I woke up. So you can guess why I’m so late today. I even kicked V out of the room because… uh, … as if you weren’t always playing with your toys. Remember your Aunt’s visits? “The Talk,” Braxton

I’ve been trying to figure out what the dream means. I’ve told you, I’ve left happiness a long time ago. But you and Virgil went home, and this “happy place” destroyed me. Then again, since I feel my best at the house and I was left behind —at the doctor’s where you fell, the Day Job, or in my depression… Am I reading too much into some movie B III?

Okay, let’s see. The main character in the movie is a dog owner who’s “trapped” in a room using an old computer. His best friend is an old man. And he has two women. One has a very positive outlook, and the other is trying to escape the prison. I’m not writing movie reviews today?

Braxton, I’m trying to figure it out. Just know I had a nightmare. And finding happiness is no dream of mine. But I lost that even before you, Braxton. It’ll never B A Dream Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 283 ~Hear B, Listen V~

WillLeave a comment

When was the last time I heard “I love you” and felt something? When was the last time I said it? The last time I heard love and felt it was in Braxton’s last breath. And I’m sure I’ll be hearing it well into the future. “Hear B, Listen V.”

Tuesday, April 9, 2024

Tale 283 ~Hear B, Listen V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… But I can tell why it has to be this way. My son is gone.

Braxton, my Soldier, Soul dog, indeed my firstborn Son. Even now, while I time travel. Today is Sunday, March 31, 2024, Easter Sunday. He Is Risen? Well, not my Braxton.

Today, how many more will pay for my sins? There ain’t no coming back from all these things that I’ve done. But that’s the thing, my love. I’m still gone, and you’re still waiting for me. Even though I don’t look a thing like Jesus. I know I need to cut the music off, love. I need to turn off all the noise and stay awake. Why? Because love’s louder?

Honestly, that’s my problem. The last time I heard love was my Braxton’s last breath. And for 1,164 days, I’ve only been listening. But hearing?

Whatever DEI! And you know what I wanted to say.

More like they want to say. But why is hate so much easier to explain? Why do the things I hate come so naturally? Like myself for what happened to Braxton. You tell me, I loved, and I loved, and I lost you. You sing to me. As long as I’m breathing, always and forever.

So why don’t I want to hear it? Am I making any sense at all, my love? Love is confusing.

It’s the way it has to be sometimes. But how much longer? As I said before, look how far I am from this day. Look how far I’ve come from the day my B fell. I still hear it, love.

Only you know you, man. My love language is physical touch. And when it comes to you and me, I feel everything. And you’ll do anything to make me feel your love. Actions, right? More than words? And everything that comes with it. But you want me to hear you. You need me to. But all I hear is pain, yours, mine, my boys, B III and 2V, our kids.

And I listen to everything else, like some white noise. I am sleeping away existence. Today, love doesn’t lie bleeding. It’s sleeping. And I have to find my way, darling.

Honestly, that’s the only time I’ll say you remind me of my Ma, baby doll. I’ll let you love me. Hear? Hear B, Listen V.

1164 Days Without B III, Day 605 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 281 ~B’s La-Z-Boy, Comfy V~

WillLeave a comment

Idle hands are the devil’s playthings. I wouldn’t say what I do at the Day Job is good. Well, with how things are going in this country. And while I would rather not watch it, what else do I do? Sleep away V’s and my existences? B’s La-Z-Boy, Comfy V

Sunday, April 7, 2024

Tale 281 ~B’s La-Z-Boy, Comfy V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I wouldn’t waste more money on mirrors. That’s one home fixture you can do without. Ha-Ha

As if you even have the money for that. Last time you checked, the tax refund was $390.00 or thereabouts. Sitting, geez! With everything breaking down around you, sitting, sleeping, or committing sins are the last things you should be going for. And how about talking to yourself? Not that you find our conversations comforting. No! Not at all. Sigh.

If anything, you realize that silence is golden. And that there are differences in silence. There’s the silence you miss the most. Braxton, sitting on the corner of the bed. To know such love and protection. Talk about comfy spots. Surprised the mattress hasn’t broken.

Much like your sanity? You’d even take the silence of B’s passing when nothing mattered. Doing nothing… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Outbreak Rising 2, Lara X. Lust
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You know there was a time you would have been all in on hedonism. Only now, it’s like that episode of The Twilight Zone, A Nice Place to Visit. Or the end of Hulu’s 2023, The Mill. How about Black Mirror’s Fifteen Million Merits? There’s listening to Succubus Lord 6 again. That’s where Jacob Ralston enters Hell’s First Circle and explores the city of Limbo.

Where are you going with this? First, all of these men were comfortable, but they were in Hell at the end of the day. And that’s how you’re feeling sitting here in bed, as always.

Second is the fact that you find no comfort in it. No joy or love. And happiness? Forget that word like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Golden Son (Red Rising Book 2)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And yes, you could go all into how, for the moment, Darrow from Golden Son has it all—so you think. But now he’s going home and wants Mustang/Virginia to know him—the real him. And will he ever be comfortable in the Golds’ world? You keep talking about money.

You would be at your best if Braxton were here and you were lying on the loveseat reading books. Of course, the backyard fence would still be up. The sink would be working as usual. You would have a garbage can outside. The drawers in the kitchen wouldn’t be broken.

You could go on. Laying with some girl in bed listening to 50’s Apocalyptic Rock.

Braxton’s heavenward. Virgil’s hiding. And you? B’s La-Z-Boy, Comfy V

1162 Days Without B III, Day 603 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 278 ~Virgil Saves The B’s~

WillLeave a comment

It’s not V’s job to save me. B on the other paw? He wanted to protect me from people, my pa, and the pretend characters in all the books I read. And now I’m pretending that Braxton can read and write, too? Not that Virgil speaks. Virgil Saves The B’s

Thursday, April 4, 2024

Tale 278 ~Virgil Saves The B’s~

1159 Days Without B III, Day 600 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Any day I’m not at the Day Job… I don’t even know. What did we do with days off? Hmm.

I’ll have to look it up. I suppose. But let’s start with something simpler. Do you remember when I read the book Stroke of Midnight: A Cinderella Novel by K Webster? In a way, I hope you don’t. We were boys, but I tried to protect you from that sort of thing. My only son. And I need to stop saying that with Virgil here. But try as he may, Virgil brings no comfort, Braxton. Take, for example, me reading Golden Son. Sleeping off tragedy.

Inevitable? Who am I to say? I stopped as things weren’t looking great for Darrow. Yes, Braxton, I hear you. This isn’t what I want to talk about today. If anything, it’s this B III. I want to give you the chance to speak today. But what words can you offer with everything going on?

I couldn’t save you, and now, instead of letting you rest, I ask you to save me. How many times have you done that in your 15 years on Earth? And how many times has Virgil done it in 600 days? So, over a year and a half? But I’m failing him too, B III.

Dad,
You need it. More than those three little words you would always tell me about. It would be these: YOU NEED IT! Imagine me saying that in barks. You wouldn’t listen to me then. But I’m trying to be nicer now because you need it—and not like that. Ha! I miss my Aunt.

What I mean is this: You need the rest. And I have lots to share with eternity, Dad. Too much.

Is that my way of saying that Virgil isn’t me reincarnated? I’m sorry, Daddy, honest. Today, you don’t need to read anything else to make you sad. And if it’s not words, it’s other things. And you’re right, I don’t know what to do. But if anything, Dad, know this.

Don’t join me. Not yet, anyway. Remember everything that you promised me? I see it.

I’ll be as tall as a king, remember? And I worry about my people. Well, I worry about my human.

I love you,
B III

I can’t ask Virgil, and talking to myself is ill-advised. Scary? But that was something, Braxton. Virgil Saves The B’s

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad