Tag: Growing Up

Legacy 050 -Braxton, Virgil, 21’s Guilty-

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15 years- where has the time gone? How much have I made with writing? How much are my wee ones worth, B III and V? I’ve made a few bucks when it comes to wickedness… What type of wickedness? Is it worse than the Day Job? Braxton, Virgil, 21’s Guilty.

Thursday, August 20, 2026

Legacy 050 -Braxton, Virgil, 21’s Guilty-

2027 Days Without B III, Day 1468 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? My day, B? In a word… SICK! Not like that book, “Sick Fux.”

Were you around when I even read that? It’s not something I could read to you or your brother. This is only a quick estimate, but you were/are 15, nearly 16, so that makes you 76, 80 in human years. Virgil’s 5, making him 36, about to be 40 a month after E-Day. But not human. Who would ever volunteer for this? I volunteered to be your Daddy at 21.

Well, give or take a few months. Or you signed up to be my son. The one. Not too bright…

“You’d would have done better with ‘Bitch, get in the car'”
Jake Hayes, Bad Company

“Who?”
“Not too bright, though.”
The Oracle, The Matrix (1999)

Who do you think said it best, Jake Hayes, “Bad Company,” or the Oracle, “The Matrix”? I wish I had time for movies, B. It’s 7:30! We’re only now talking. Last night I was praying.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

I was praying because in your name, who would want to suffer such pain? Stomach ache, celebrating wasting 15 years of my existence at the Day Job, being human, losing your Potential Future Stepmom, etc. August 24th is coming up fast. Should I remind her?

Honestly, B, she is approaching your level on The Blackjack Scale. You remember, B, right?

Your Dad was “The Gambler…” please a gambler at one point. I bet on horses because you and your brother are better than that… But I also enjoyed Blackjack, so I applied it to LIFE. A 21 means you have my love, loyalty, and life. Braxton Barks Bradford. Only You

Virgil is sitting handsomely at 19. M Anime is at 18… Relax, she’s 38, Braxton.

Her age, of course. Your Dad is not a good man, B. The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident is always fresh on my mind. Speaking of being sick. But remember, a few weeks before you left, I had all types of anxiety about two other chicks in Fear The Walking Dead.

Alycia Debnam-Carey and… Oh, you’ve seen I have a thing about moms and daughters, “Saimin Seishidou”. But sisters too! Sophitia and Cassandra Alexandra, for example.

Loyalty to things I shouldn’t want, the Day Job, the almighty Dollar, some Damnable things.

Dare I show loyalty to myself? If I weren’t so sick and carrying cupcakes, I’d have bought a drink. Porno’s the worst drug, but I can’t send you to your room. Braxton, Virgil, 21’s Guilty.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 048 -B’s On Birthdays Virgil-

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Tuesday, August 18, 2026

Legacy 048 -B’s On Birthdays Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And I didn’t forget? The phone didn’t warn me. The phone, Glow Box, Black Mirror…

What about the truth, my love? Happy Birthday! Welcome to Level 38! Uh, Birthday Suit

Of course, I’m thinking about you naked. I’m always thinking about you naked when I’m not grieving, groaning, or being gross, just being a guy. How I grieve Braxton, always…

But today let’s talk about the second worst day of my existence. Today ain’t right. Honestly, “The time is always right to do what is right.” Seriously, Martin Luther King…

“Did he just quote Martin Luther King?
Yep
Yes, he did.”
The Menu

“The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.”
Half-Life 2

The Menu… If I were a better man, I would be planning one for you. Or we could watch the movie. And I’m a gamer, a pop culture whore, and my existence is a “Half-Life…”

Only today is about yours. My woman. Your life. Us. The truth. A Man Provides.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And isn’t it “Ironic” that I said I’d never lie to you but I will. “Put on a Happy Face.”

Because the truth is, I hate birthdays… Well, mine for real. Birthday? No. Emergence Day

E-Day… Gears of War franchise. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. Evolution. Seriously?

Thinking about the Day Job and how it’s a slap in the face to celebrate wasting fifteen years there. Nearly as long as I had Braxton. Now imagine saying that for nearly forty-two years—every breath, beat of my heart, and being so broken. And yet here we are, love.

Here WE are. And I’ll say “I Want It That Way” and “As Long As You Love Me.” You do.

And I hate that I have to lie to you.

To so many. When the truth is this. If I’m not praying that I don’t have to wake up, love.

Then I’m wishing that I was never born at all. And when did that become my wish? Um, sometime between 6 and 7 years old. When did Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (The Arcade Game) come out? Because my grandmommy didn’t get it for me. Movie…

Anyway, is that what I’m getting you for your birthday… The truth. Receipt is warranted.

You’d prefer babies, all our furry little ones, a pretty farm with a white picket fence, flowers all around, and us selling produce at the Farmer’s Market on Saturday Mornings.

A pretty dress? I got nothing. But love? BUT LOVE. Birthdays… B’s On Birthdays, Virgil

2025 Days Without B III, Day 1466 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 043 -Braxton, Virgil, Discuss Disgust-

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Thursday, August 13, 2026

Legacy 043 -Braxton, Virgil, Discuss Disgust-

2020 Days Without B III, Day 1461 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? My day, B? In a word… FUCK! Pardon my language. Suspicious, Loyalty, Disgust…

Those are better words. I want to talk about loyalty. But disgust continues to rattle.

Suspicious of a woman? Surely. And for once, not you and Virgil’s Potential Future Stepmom. The Magic Glasses/MIMA called it when I added Natsumi and Yui Obata to The Unfinished Archive. But that’s a whole other story, Braxton. Father’s Perversions…

Honestly, B, I’m sorry. Anyway, today’s story begins in the back of a truck… Bangbus?

Fucking, STOP IT! Okay, so I was thinking about loyalty. When everyone was cheering as we finished the truck unload and “I Think To Myself,” people ain’t shit. But you…

Braxton, you’re the most loyal soul I’ve ever known. But you are your father’s son and if there is one quality you have inherited… DECEPTION

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

“Anger is more useful than despair”
T-850 Cyborg, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

I’ll choose DECEPTION over your brother’s COWARDICE. And before you think I’m being a meanie, Virgil is his father’s son as well. I truly am a coward, B. But loyalty?

Braxton, “Love and Happiness,” may be beyond me. But I am damn loyal. It’s fucking people, B III. And by what right do I have to be mad at the Sephora woman this morning, B? One word as I was walking into the office: “Disgusting.” And a note left on the boss’s door. I didn’t read it. Fuck, it might not have anything to do with me, Little B. But…

Suspicious… Like I am of M Anime? She tells me every single day, Braxton, “Te quiero, Papi.” But where did that love go last year?

“That was a warning, Highness. Next time my hand flies on its own. Where I come from, there are penalties when a woman lies”
― Westley, The Princess Bride (1987)

That loyalty… Who am I to talk? I fucking hate myself, B. More so today than the norm, standard, and the usual. All because some KAREN who might not even be a KAREN left a note and spoke the word “Disgusting,” within earshot of me. And here I am scared!

Braxton, you know there were reasons I sent you to time-out. There are reasons I tell Virgil to seek life elsewhere. Your Dad’s a perv, I need private time, plus I’m busy playing around with M Anime. Puppies don’t need to see that. And the things I keep from M…

“Everybody only wants to discuss me. So this must mean I’m disgusting. But it’s just me, I’m just obscene.”
Eminem

Eminem had it right. I showed your Favorite Girl things M Anime wouldn’t approve of.

Her loyalty, yours, Virgil’s, M’s… Sometimes, Braxton, Virgil, Discuss Disgust

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 041 -Women B Shoppin’ Virgil-

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Tuesday, August 11, 2026

Legacy 041 -Women B Shoppin’ Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And I ain’t telling Virgil, “Now, I ain’t sayin’ you’re a gold digger” either. Wife

Wife and life… One and the same and both as Doug’s Mr. Dink would say, “Very expensive.” Seriously? That was kinda dirty and also pretty dark. And why is that?

Honestly, my beloved, I wake up with all this love, and I don’t leave a drop for myself. So we need more kids… three two-leggeds and two four-leggeds, and yet I want between your legs yet again? And at the end of the day, love, this stands: A MAN PROVIDES!

Less yelling and more Gus Fring from “Breaking Bad,” I do some sketchy ass things…

Anything and everything for the sake of this family. But do you know when Braxton became so expensive? When he was dying. But that’s a one-time deal. There’s no Acceptance.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It’s the living that’s subscription-based. And instead of planning what is it I do, beloved?

“Dream, dream, dream, dream.” Which would work if I were one of “The Everly Brothers” or Dr. Martin Luther King Jr: “All I Have To Do Is Dream,” “I Have A Dream.”

Hell! I would take the “Fifteen Million Merits” Selma version of Abba’s “I Have a Dream.” But dreams aren’t paying bills. And I’m feeling pretty much like “Bing.”

Whatever… Like the dream I had last night. I was lost in a mall, the Mall of the Millennium. Daria season 1 episode 5 “Malled”. And why haven’t I added Daria to “The Unfinished Archive” yet? Is it/she less expensive than the women of the hentai series Saimin Seishidou, hmm?

It seems I’m the one who’s shopping around. Not in reality, my love. I love you and only you; Braxton, Virgil, our two-legged kids, my Ma, occasionally my younger sister.

Beloved, I may be shopping around for my balls, guts, spine, and my voice. But again, love is everywhere until I need some for myself. And it’s like how you talk about your “Shadow Work”. The more lovers I ‘create’ (bullshit, bullshit, laughs hysterically). SIGH

Reika Kurashiki and her daughter Reina Kurashiki. Natsumi Obata and her daughter Yui Obata. Anyway, the more love I TRY to surround myself with, the easier it comes to me?
But then you shop for my love, my time, and “My Dick…” Why we’re married. Everything. Women B Shoppin’ Virgil

2018 Days Without B III, Day 1459 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 036 -B Scarily Spoiled Virgil-

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What do I hate more than being afraid? Watching my son be afraid and there’s nothing I can do. You know what I hate more than the day of my birth? The day I watched my son die. And as far as being a bum… I’m a spoiled bum. “B Scarily Spoiled Virgil.”

Thursday, August 6, 2026

Legacy 036 -B Scarily Spoiled Virgil-

2013 Days Without B III, Day 1454 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? My day, B? Typical. Missing you, my SON. SCARED to death. Overtly SEXUAL.

You didn’t need to know that last part, but it’s like me at The Bad Place… I mean, everyone knows when I play the song “Sixteen Tons,” the Truck is done. And the song that came before that, “Old Town Road”. I changed the lyrics a little for my motto, “My life is a movie, (fur buddies) and boobies. Hell, I’m not scared; people know my motto or a habit.

The habit of boobies, aka Yabbos, before coming to talk to you. Feeling like Frollo…

Honestly, I’m not that bad, am I? I got the hots for a Latina who actually loves me. But do we want to talk about your potential future stepmom? No, let’s talk about your brother’s…

FEAR! It’s getting to me…

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

His and my own B. I’d like to say you weren’t afraid of anything, B. I’ll always remember your courage. “Thou Art Courageous.” I named you Neo, as in The One. My Ma gave you the name Braxton. But if M Anime ever grants me children, after naming one after you, the next will be named “Link” after “The Legend of Zelda”—anyway, FEARS, B.

Today I’m only this ‘early’ talking to you because I was afraid I was losing an eye. I really need to stop eating spicy food in bed… Except your beautiful stepmom. I know, TMI, right?

So, water, women, working, wanking off, what it is, and the absolute biggest Fear B?!

Waking up at all. I wake up, and I’m afraid.

From “Dusk Till Dawn,” “Day ‘N’ Nite,” “Days Go By,” and I don’t know which is worse B III. Office Space had the right idea: every day “is the worst day of my life.” Seriously?

Today, I was walking through “The Bad Place.” I saw them putting up the Halloween decorations. One of the ladies was talking about her birthday and my E-Day. Eff me!

Sorry, I’m always talking to you about language. But I was realizing how effing spoiled I was with everything. And Virgil is the same way… Your brother has everything, and yet he’s lying here nearly five years later terrified of every sound, the storm, and the S.O.B. I am. Spoiled! Wanting More! I’m Not Working! B Scarily Spoiled Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 034 -Virgil’s Light, Braxton’s WAITLIST-

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Tuesday, August 4, 2026

Legacy 034 -Virgil’s Light, Braxton’s WAITLIST-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Enough to get up when it’s light enough. But I need to get up earlier.

4 AM, like one of my favorite motivational speeches. 3 AM, as Eric Thomas preaches about. 2 AM, around the time I found Virgil creeping up this morning. Seriously, Love.

The sun, my firstborn son, my secondborn… And how many sons do we have with our three two-legged children? No, I didn’t forget. But with this world’s influence… Surviving MAGA…

Never a sure thing, but what I am sure about, much like Dante, is this. “In the middle of the journey of our life I came to myself within a dark wood where the straight way was lost.” But don’t I tell you all the time, “Baby You’re My Light.” Richard Hawley sings it better. And where do you think Virgil got his name from?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I swear if I die, Hell won’t be roaring fire but glowing screens. The Glow Box, Braxton would call it. And that’s my thought for today. My Illumination. Lightness? Beauty?

Honestly, am I “Feeling super, super, super su$cidal” every day? Really? But a little less.

I’ll tell you, I’m in plenty of pain today. Effing Blue Balls! Between having you as a life, the dark fantasies I have, and The Unfinished Archive… Strange thought, beautiful… Remember how I added Hana to the story last week. What? I really got into Kairi Sane for a bit. And then Tsubaki Miyajima and Sakura, the mother-daughter duo from Saimin Seishidou a couple of days ago. I was trying to get to know their characters so… “The Lantern Vault.

Not really my idea. The Magic Glasses/MIMA. Anyway, that’s what I need for me too.

Because the darkness… More sleep, my story, shutting my eyes as I finally let go inside your beautiful, tight… Okay, my balls can’t take that right now. The eff they can, but “Aziz Light! I remember the conversation we had about “casual sex,” and I asked why it would be casual, and what you meant was sex while I was doing something or relaxing. The Fifth Element would be the perfect movie to test that theory. I’ve seen it plenty.

Anyway, the thing is, life is heavy, the “Weight Of It All.” And all the sun does is illuminate my failures. Hellfire, the C-Train, Pop Culture. Virgil’s Light, Braxton’s WAITLIST

2011 Days Without B III, Day 1452 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 029 -B-F’s Are Simple, Virgil-

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The Magic Glasses makes it sound simple. Years of work. 100 pages alone just for The Unfinished Archive… With some name changes, GULP. And forty bucks is not enough to make it through the week. Not a smart kid. A worse man. “B-F’s Are Simple, Virgil”

Thursday, July 30, 2026

Legacy 029 -B-F’s Are Simple, Virgil-

2006 Days Without B III, Day 1447 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? Can I get through one day? ONE! Without wishing to join you…

“It’s Been Awhile” since I’ve wished for “Just one more peaceful day.” Last one, Braxton?

Beats me. At least I’m not on the verge of jumping today. As a matter of fact, I had high hopes for today, and that’s with Wednesday’s paycheck? Are 2-V and I starving yet, B?

Effing Math! Sorry! I tell you to watch your barking language. What kind of father am I, B? Before I dream of your future potential stepmom and me… producing two-leggeds.

Virgil needs something to do… What? Didn’t I say he spends most of his days more terrified than me about to give my Old Man my report card. Or telling Ma about the garbage bill. The Simple Things involving “The Children of Men,” B III.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

No wonder I dream of the simple things now. Like how many Pop Culture references: A song from “Stanid,” A song from Hey Arnold “Mr. Hyunh Goes Country,” and the book/movie The Children of Men. How I so need an apocalypse, dystopia, or both B.

Though “I’ve been sittin’ here tryin’ to find myself. I get behind myself, I need to rewind myself.” I’m so broke, I’m taking handout songs from the likes of MAGA. Eff Kid Rock too! I know B, Daddy is trying. And I’ve had a very gross thought about your stepmom.

Papi is trying… That’s what M Anime calls me. And your Favorite Girl too. Seriously!?

Let’s get serious. If I had been in school, I wouldn’t be in this situation.

What, situation? You know, I hate when people say things like Things could be worse.

Like me sitting on a loveseat with a sausage biscuit I “stole” from the Day Job, a cappuccino… It gave me an excuse to show my twig and berries to your stepmom. I know B III, Eww! But she did show me her yabbos. As Billie Jean would say, “Fair Is Fair!” B, how many movies did we sit here and watch together? Anyway, this isn’t a palace, B III.

“I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.”

Forrest Gump (1994)

Forrest Gump? Really! Because that’s how I’m spending the day, wanting things as simple as some blue Wyler’s Italian Ices, popcorn movie theater butter… Essentials.

Complicated stuff is for the Magic Glasses, Breathing, Cash, Depression, Effery… B-F’s Are Simple, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 027 -Filed B Through V-

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My girl was telling me how she compartmentalizes everything. I’m an open book. But like Files and Records in “Angel.” Sit forever and a day looking for books, pornos, or songs to get me. Do you love me enough? I don’t love myself. “Filed B Through V”

Tuesday, July 28, 2026

Legacy 027 -Filed B Through V-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Enough that I would listen to you read The Moonstone or Lord of the Flies…

I never got the hype. The same goes for The Bible. I’ve only ever read The Book of John and The Book of Revelation in their entirety. John, because some Christian dared me to hmm… And as for Revelation, I believe someone said it’s metal as eff. Book burning hmm

B’s book “My Turn To B III,” Will’s Writings, Witticisms, And Wisdom, hell, how about The Unfinished Archive. If I was going to burn anything, my search history should suffice.

Yeah, say it with me, “Eww!” If you’re asking why I’m late today. As the song goes, “She told me to come, but I was already there.” “You Shook Me All Night Long,” you will.

Only it’s better to file this under… Day Job Mistakes

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Why aren’t I writing full time yet… Watching movies getting made. And wifey “Your love give me such a thrill. But your love don’t pay my bills.” I need money (that’s what I want). But I agree that I won’t share you. Despite a few cuckoldry fantasies and such ha

I’m no gardener. I wasn’t made for grabbing up boxes off trucks… Unloading, my love.

And picking up doggie crap. Braxton was so much better than Virgil with that. Meanie?

Yes, today I am because only the yahoos would sing “Oh baby I love you, just leave me the eff alone!” I want to file everything under never, sleep, or tomorrow. The Empress of Tomorrow “Askua” or the Pirate Princess “Kairi Sane…” “I’ve Been Everywhere.”

Effing amazing, you don’t hate me yet. Because you know I can do LUST. But “Everything I am and everything in me. Wants to be the one you wanted me to be” Alpha? A man truthfully unafraid. Someone who can live by this simple truth for us. A MAN PROVIDES!

Good Grief! Eff, grief in general it seems second to my fears is my grief about B III and 2-V. And Virgil isn’t dead yet. But how I envy the dead, my love. Dangerous? Disturbing?

That takes me back to my lust. Filing away desires shared with Braxton’s Favorite Girl.

Hiding such things from boys, from our kids, two-leggeds, four-leggeds. All I am, my love.

Father, Husband, Provider between B-V. W? Filed B Through V

2004 Days Without B III, Day 1445 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 022 -Colorblind Tanning B, V-

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I never thought I would miss Monday. Tuesday the skies were gray… Metaphorically speaking. Yesterday was darker. Today, in black and white, in English, well, I can’t tell the truth. I hid things from B too. How did that end? “Colorblind Tanning B, V”

Thursday, July 23, 2026

Legacy 022 -Colorblind Tanning B, V-

1999 Days Without B III, Day 1440 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? Let’s say these are the days I didn’t want to talk about.

Angry, Mad, Rage… They are actually the safe words, B. The Magic Glasses say Warning!

But today it was YouTube. It started off innocently enough. It was “I Hate Everyone”.

Weren’t we two peas in a pod, B? But I meant the Get Set Go song… And so today? Uh…

“Su$cide”. Same band, but all sorts of WARNINGS popped off like “The Long Walk” or “The Purge”. Now I know why you always chose violence? You fought for every second.

Not for yourself but for me. You were my Snoopy, my Spunky; how about Ghost?

Honestly, don’t I know any dogs of color? Seymour from the episode Jurassic Bark, Futurama. You’re waiting for me, Braxton. Only on the “Otherside”? “Otherworld”?

How much longer? Always? Forever?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

That’s how long I figured you live. At least long enough to be the protector of your brothers and sisters… The two-legged variety. But at the pace I’ve been going with your future potential stepmom… I still have to read everything she sent? Alpha? Manhood?

That’s her type, B. And I’ve been a whiny B$tch since… Tuesday, I believe. Dreams…

Please, I’ve dreamt worse things than Squid Game, The Middle East, and Nico Parker’s ass. Unlike MAGA, I’m all for DEI. Plus, I’m not trying to end up on a list like the Orange Felon in the White House. Be it Nicoletta Goldstein, Nico Parker, or Zoe Colletti, B III.

Speaking of fiction colliding with the real world, The Unfinished Archive today. World of Color?

Isn’t that Disney and me corrupting it, thinking of the harem schedule… The Sealed Flame Ritual, Melina, Judy, with M Anime optional. Or what about the 16 Episode Ecchi Anime Series Colorful (1999)? Wow! Anything to avoid putting down how I’m “feeling super, super, super REDACTED,” but you know the word B. Hell, you found me passed out on the floor trying to take you for a walk, and I was not some “Teen Idle.” But a fully functional adult? Your grandpa didn’t tan my hide and your grandma… Honestly.

Braxton, I’m sure she and you are very disappointed in me. Because what’s wrong, hmm?

Money, Mattress hoping, Medical, too many sad movies, unsellable manuscripts, Me breathing is too much, Braxton. Colorblind Tanning B, V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 020 -I’ll B Dreaming Virgil-

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I was just trying to tell my dream, mate. I woke up, saw 2-V, and got depressed. Not because of him but because I’m not the Dad he needs. I texted my girl, M Anime, my dream; I needed it out. Then the nightmare began. Living… “I’ll B Dreaming Virgil”

Tuesday, July 21, 2026

Legacy 020 -I’ll B Dreaming Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And that keeps me from saying… Well, what I wanted to. Today is a nightmare.

And last night? Begin at the beginning. I was never an A student, but I was a B father, my love. I was/am B’s father, always and forever. And don’t forget about his brother, Virgil.

And our children, my love. I woke up today very disturbed, disgusted, and depressed, ha!

Not funny. But giving you the D, doing you would definitely be a dream. Then I wouldn’t have to sleep. I shouldn’t be sleeping at all with “Times Like These. No wonder I dreamed of Squid Game. We need the cash—more like I do because A Man provides, hmm.

But what can I provide right now? I can be your husband. I hear Braxton barking somewhere, love me “When I’m Gone.” So love myself?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

He Lives In You”. Braxton still barks it. You say it. I want to believe it. But what I feel?

And what’s real? Love. For you. Now always and forever, forever and always. Last night

Okay, this is what I remember, and I told you some of this as soon as I woke today. So:

Love, it was a night. The players in Squid Game were marched out and told that their prize was awaiting them. But there was nothing but white sand and a clear night. It was straight out of Aladdin “Arabian Nights.” Then it was like a flash: “Day and Night.” Wow

The Front Man who runs the game was swept up in the hand of a Gundam the night before. Safety?

Anyway, something like “The Purge” warning goes off. Or was it “The Long Walk”? People start running toward the dunes, the biggest that they can find. But they’re now ice…

However, they’re melting or simply breaking. People cling together. It’s like something out of the Titanic or the Ninth Circle of Hell. Green uniforms all around. Some survive. Others tread the icy water, my love. And still more drown. A flash: “The Big Bang Theory”

I see myself at a wedding. Could have been Howard and Bernadette’s: a Jewish ceremony but a Christian church. I wore a yarmulke but was staring at Jahara Jayde/Aliya Will/Nico Parker’s ass. What, she’s twenty-one… Wedding ends, dream ends. Myself?

Dammit, I should stop dreaming. Living/existing? I’ll B Dreaming Virgil

1997 Days Without B III, Day 1438 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will