Gospel 206 ~Willing The Days Away~

Facebook was closed for a minute. Well, more like I got logged off, and then I found out why. Seems like many places have been closing or under scrutiny. Now here I am, open book and all being driven crazy by paranoia. Willing The Days Away, hmm

Saturday, January 23, 2021

Gospel 206 ~Willing The Days Away~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how many days have I given away to get here. As “The 13th Warrior” put it, “I have squandered my days with plans of many things.” Around this time last week, I had no idea the storm that I’d unleashed because I look at myself as a bad man, okay. I have my vices like anyone else, though one has been tempered somewhat with “events.” My usual anger, my fire has been snuffed by my depression. It’s like I’m drowning. Now that leads me to a third sin… I’m breathing.

That’s dark, and of course, you’re not Inspector Echo. I’m all into time-travel, not that it makes much difference nowadays. It’s not that I’m living in the present. The past is only full of regret and the future, to quote another movie “John Q” well “There’s only two ways out of here. Jail or dead.” Not the most appealing options, I must say Lady Luna. What are the chances, though, and in keeping with the movies “The Empire Strikes Back,” there’s this? “Never tell me the odds.” I would say I’m getting lazier… breathing’s difficult. Damn, it feels closer to impossible. You want to hear something really STUPID? It could all be for nothing. Every day I read up on other criminals, and I think about “All These Things That I’ve Done.” I opened my eyes, that’s it. My Lady, I opened my fucking eyes.

“Oh god, I’d rather you were blind” that’s from A Knight’s Tale or maybe my Dæmon. Okay, that’s mean, he would never wish me harm. Yet I’m hurting him by wishing it upon myself now. Living each day hoping that I will actually scare myself to death and find peace. It almost worked last night when Facebook was all wonky. Only this morning, I found out Facebook itself had been hacked and flooded with…I wish I could go back to free speech and all. In some ways, I believed it would be a closed fist that would be my end. Nope, I opened my eyes, and where did that land me? What am I doing every morning? I say I’m an open book with a mind to match, and what do I find waiting. My hands are, you guessed it, wide open, and then what?

I’m still free for now, only Willing The Days Away.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 205 ~Will’s The Breast Starer~

Once upon a time, Will saw something. Don’t mind me talking in the third-person. People as the Day Job are always putting words in my mouth. At this stage in the game, the horror story of my life begins with seeing something. Will’s The Breast Starer

Friday, January 22, 2021

Gospel 205 ~Will’s The Breast Starer~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and still, that’s not enough for me. Hell, I have family in banking, and I’ve never seen over 2000 bucks in any one place. I heard in a movie once (Lord of War) there are only two tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want; the other is getting it. So here I am, as the song goes, Sitting In Limbo. It’s been a week, and now I’m “praying” for the end of the month. Well, more like Meat Loaf “praying for the end of time.” Reading about Breast:

Breasts for a lot of men are quite an obvious thing when it comes to women. Um, much like the “facts” of this book. It’s not terrible but only evident, sort of like watching The Purge: Election Year or The First Purge. Is that why Breasteses – Why Men Love Breasts: …and other conversations about the male psyche is only okay? The concept that it lacks any subtlety. To me, it’s sad that violence is more acceptable than the ideas in this book. Again it didn’t bring much to the table. Every guy would know pretty much all of this.

Maybe I was fooled by the cover, but yes, I’m a dude. The front of Maximo Montoya’s work alone would turn most women off. If they got past that, it would tell them plenty that they don’t want to hear. It’s the world these days, I’m afraid to say. I usually read early in the morning, so I’m fighting to retain all that I learn. I didn’t have a problem here as I said; it’s like you know it all. It’s also a quick read, which should be good enough to give it a chance, at least. I’m saying, ladies.

Other than the sleeping six hours is kind of wrong, there was nothing new. Yes, it pays not to go to bed mad at your partner. If you’re a rich guy, women will think differently of your ogling and it kind of goes. I wanted to feel better about this book. I mean, boobs, what’s not to love, right? I would recommend this to the fairer sex for who it is intended. Not that I would give it to any woman I know, sadly. People would think of me as much as the author. Not excellent, but okay. TWO STARS sigh, Will’s The Breast Starer.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 203 ~We Will Go Home~

Last week I had no idea I’d be here. It’s Sunday while I’m writing this but ask me what I wish. Come this time Wednesday, I’ll be right here. My furry Imp napping, finally posting this, with YouTube in the background. We Will Go Home, I believe.

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Gospel 203 ~We Will Go Home~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but honest to God, I would give it all up to be right here. What in the grand ole U.S. of A? I haven’t forgotten that today is Inauguration Day. You’ll have to forgive me for being a selfish S.O.B., not new. How about time-travel, hmm? It’s still Sunday, so I have traveled now three days into the future. Why. That’s the thing I can’t tell you, I’m not STUPID. I also know the laws better than Trump. Ok, at least I have the decency to look them up, unlike some.

Now, did I really say that I would give up a billion dollars to be in bed? Well, at the moment, on the loveseat in my den, going crazy with worry. I swear Inspector Echo, I haven’t written this much in ages and why. You know I can never do good, so yeah, Great Fear. It’s a Fear that I can’t share even with you and the girls. I’ve talked to Madam Justice, Dear Future Wife, and now you, again on a Sunday. I’m sorry to say, writing, blogging, yeah, graffiti with punctuation, doesn’t feel much like home. A rush to judgment, um, ok, yep. I might as well be sitting inside a prison already. If I’m here come Wednesday, I’ll still be scared. When I got carted off to detention so many years ago, geez. To think that would be my life for who knows how long and then like that, I was free.

Call it scared straight, Echo? I think I even gave my life to God at one point, eww. Who was it that said, a man facing a noose will do whatever to save his neck? Now back with my Olds, ok beat anything I ever knew of the Heaven, Paradise. So many names and such. However, I’m going to Hell one way or another. If I wanted to do good, and I mean now, make the world a better place, I know what I should do. You see something, say something. Trump didn’t call the F.B.I. and Inspector; let’s say we know our countries well. I want to congratulate President Biden and Vice-President Harris. Yet come this time Wednesday, I want to be here, the country at war or not. I’d take Status Quo Freedom.

Detention, Studio, Olds, or Day Job. We Will Go Home

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 202 ~Sell You On Will~

I always say that I’m an open book. Some books aren’t meant to be open, some things, I don’t know what, but you can’t ask people to stay afterward. For now, I’m free, and yet here I am. “Sell You On Will.”

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Gospel 202 ~Sell You On Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m not in my nineties, and you’re much more than a P.Y.T. I take it. As a ton of songs goes, “You’re Beautiful.” Only today, I want to focus more on “that’s what makes you beautiful.” I CAN put my finger on it, My Love. However, as always, I tend to make everything about me. Hell, what keeps me sane half the time is “Your Eyes.” Will, I ever quit with the songs? If you help me forget. My Love today, hell this whole week, who knows but, I’m SCARED.

The smartest woman I know, I’ve told you before. You’ve got to have an answer. Of course, some things shut my mind up completely. Hell, the day I don’t want you will be that—pure Hell. Only, for now, I’m not in the mood… ok, a lie, but my fear, baby girl, it’s not ok. Say something, only I’ll never give up on you. God knows I’m silent most days. Perfect for cops. If only I could go a few minutes without thinking something so heinous. I haven’t even been able to sleep. Um, one more reason this has been a day, and who knows. Might sheets be the answer? Not those kinds I mean writing, reading, editing. What I wouldn’t give right now to walk into the study and put everything to the page. To have it out there and you tell me that I’m a good man, I’m yours, now and always love.

Sold my soul to the Devil, I fear. Baby girl, you’re the one I saw first, and yet there are things I will never escape. One way or another, I convinced you of me. You were a dream, and everything I thought I needed you gave me. Love’s a gift, not a prize… Aloe Blacc. Stay is a powerful word, and my Dæmon never need ask, neither have our other children. You’re the only human who has ever asked that of me. Now I ask it of you. Stay With Me, no matter what. Yet I would understand if you didn’t. Always and forever, please. Strength is something no one thinks I have, and maybe they’re right. It’s why I ask you to lend me yours though I don’t deserve it. Again you give anyway.

Maybe I’m free. I hope to Sell You On Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 201 ~Legs, Breasts, There’s Always Chicken~

I said love hurts, and yeah, lust does as well, but it’s pretty fun too. Though, I’m not having any. In fact, I’m scared to death. Some people live to eat; others eat to live. I only write, and what else is there? Legs Breasts, There’s Always Chicken

Monday, January 18, 2021

Gospel 201 ~Legs, Breasts, There’s Always Chicken~

Hundred And Seventy-First Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so oh god, OH GOD, what have I done!!! Why did I not take this rule to heart? It was inspired by my son, my Dæmon. I should turn to Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. When’s the last time I felt so bad? Well, in “modern history?” I would say when I read something from the “Basic Bitch.” Before that getting called into the office at the Day Job. There was that time in junior college. What about my stint in juvenile hall? Trumptards are scared and running.

Not that I’m one of them. Hell, at times, I’m um worse, and I can’t even tell you how horrible. If anything, I’m hoping that I’m here with you to read this in a week. For the moment, I’m time traveling. You know what I said wakes me up every morning, but Fear, yeah, works. Now, as I state in rule #15, “I Take My Own Lumps.” It means I take the hit I don’t make excuses. If I’m guilty, so I am. The thing is, I don’t even know if I am. There’s a difference between thinking and actions, and no, I’m not trying to be all motivational now.

Okay, usually I save confessions for Inspector Echo, but she waits till Wednesday. How about other cops? Well, I’m a thief, for starters. You know all those artists I have yet to pay and the ones I have paid? Well, I found a place where I did a bit of an art heist, not all. Oh, you know I’ve been stealing pictures and videos ever since I discovered, um, the (H-Word). I blame Tenchi Muyo, but I gave my Olds computer a virus many years ago. Yeah, I couldn’t hide that, but I have lied about being a better man. Doesn’t that affect only me, hmm? Today, no, not with my Dæmon. I swore to always be here for him. It’s him and me until the end. It wouldn’t be a crime to leave him but committing one leaves me no choice for sure, Justice.

He likes eating, and I like… well as the song goes, I hear you singing, “I know what boys like I know what guys want.” Much ado about nothing, hopefully.

For release Madam Justice, I stumbled down the rabbit hole… Legs, Breasts, There’s Always Chicken.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 199 ~Black And Blue Will~

Now I’m sure I talked about my Dæmon last week but what about me? Am I ever so selfish? More like another dreaded S-Word, and of course, there’s another word that might offer some release. Food, Fun, um… Nah. Black and Blue Will

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Gospel 199 ~Black And Blue Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how can that be true when I got eight hours of sleep last night. Even now, my eyes are still red. So um, more excuses? Don’t mind if I do. I would say my mind is in gray fog, but no, I’m crystal clear on what I want. Yet another reason I’m talking to you so late. It’s not COVID as the song goes… “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.” This brings me to the red, white, and blue? How about my STUPIDITY of BLM. Black Lives Matter or Blue Lives Matter, oh duh, am I right?

Now I apologize that Black and Blue doesn’t have the same zing as Black and Yellow. I’m no Wiz Khalifa. It’s hard to make rhymes when my brain is fighting all the time. Of course, sitting on my ass all the livelong day, suppose my brain figured something needed punishment. Now from one head to another. Cherry, a LONG TIME AGO, would have asked why I’m punishing myself. Let’s just say somethings are very blue. This probably explains why I looked up Rei Ayanami earlier (Blue Hair). Blonde, brunette, redhead, EVERYONE!!! Lady Luna, did I mention the latest book I’m reading? I’m trying to be a “good boy,” so I can’t tell you the title. Anyway, it’s by Maximo Montoya. Hell, he’s a saint in comparison to Nakayohi Mogudan. I’m sure I butchered that, but hey, the art has words…

Oh, and you know I can do worse but again, let’s start with my STUPIDITY with flags, Well the color blue, ok Lu. You know I’m in 100% support of Black Lives Matter. Of course, Blue Lives Matter are some racists, so and so’s. In conclusion, the letters match (mind-blown). I hate having to write when I miss something so obvious. Yeah, when I’m writing anything at all. Which at this moment are all the artists I’m going to bankroll. No wonder my belly is like a void. Yeah, I know what hungry is, even starving. $500 of green… However, I remain a greedy SOB. Why am I going to spend coin on my stomach? There are other parts of the anatomy that interest me. Yeah, my poor blues. Hopefully not the Po-Po. I’m not a Trumptard, just a black man. Black And Blue Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 198 ~Will A Medieval Hour…~

Is it the dark ages, the middle ages, the renaissance, the plague era? Somehow or another, I get up to read whenever, but I also want to learn. I’m a father who loves his son as much as Jeffery loves Galen, but what time is it. “Will A Medieval Hour”

Friday, January 15, 2021

Gospel 198 ~Will A Medieval Hour…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I should have plenty of time to read. How about listen, listen, hear, and understand. Well, first off, I don’t like listening to books I’ve never read, sorry Audible. Second I can go to sleep to “almost” anything. Yeah, I told myself I should stop reading in bed. At least I’m going to write a short review on this loveseat instead. Hell, what time did I go to sleep last night, and still I couldn’t get up at 4 AM? What did I read again?

Willing Trying A Different Alchemy
All that glitters is not gold. Sometimes it’s a fire in the night sky. It could be both the beautiful and tragic memories of the human mind. Yet it could also be the bedside lamp, the glow of a screen, and the dawn of a new day. A guy has to read when he can, and I’ll try to remember what I can about A Different Alchemy by Chris Dietzel. A story of a father’s love for his child mixed in with several tales of that father’s life. Heartbreaking and yet awe-inspiring in one. So why only three stars, hmm?

I enjoyed how the story is told through Jeffery’s eyes from both the current and within flashbacks. There is also a view of the world that has been decaying. All due to the Great De-Evolution which is going on. Look at it as the living dead meets “Me Before You.” Jeffery is a military man that undergoes a tragedy, and really how does anyone get over it. He runs in one direction. While the rest of humankind heads in the other. Besides the ability to get by on his own, he has one more advantage. It’s a tank. So he goes leaving his wife Katherine and the remnants of society.

On a personal level, the relationship between him and his son Galen shook me. My son isn’t a “block,” but he’s got half-blind. Oh, and I have to carry him around sometimes, clean-up after him, feed him, etc.

We see joys and sorrows of Fatherhood and then taking care of an invalid. This novel should make everyone think about what that would be like. Then imagine those invalids are the reason the world is coming to an end. It was too many of them like there were too many smaller stories I’m having trouble remembering now. Jeffery’s mind, the thoughts of his poor boy, will stick, though. Willing Trying A Different Alchemy.

Reading Will A Medieval Hour

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 196 ~Obsessive, Contagious, Addicted, Will~

A round of applause to the alarm clock, but you want to know what got me up this morning? Nope, and if I told the whole truth, well, I’d be as bad as whoever looked up such and such on my blog, finding nothing. “Obsessive, Contagious, Addicted, Will”

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Gospel 196 ~Obsessive, Contagious, Addicted, Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that can be forgiven or buys forgiveness. At the very least makes people forgetful. Of course, I apologize to you, my Dæmon, one day I should add my mother. Hell, sometimes I think about the whole world for being an addict. So what am I addicted to? What would I know about it in the first place? If anything, what am I sorry for today? Oh, let me add one more AHEM; why can’t I forgive myself? I should be thrilled right that I actually got up at 4:00 AM.

How did I spend the first forty minutes? Inspector Echo, it’s like keeping a bottle in the house. The man who tucks a cigarette behind his ear “JIC” (Just In Case). I’m like Pookie in New Jack City. Wanting to do good but putting me in a room with… everything. Inspector, I tell you all the time it’s how I want to spend my life. I want to produce stories, movies, “inspirations” like I’ve been looking up all morning. God, I want businesses that employ the likes of Alice Little and Jill Kassidy. The idea of that starts every morning. Jesus, it’s what I have to think of to keep from falling back asleep. It’s not that I don’t love reading, which I did after those first forty minutes. Now didn’t I say I love money, but that didn’t keep me at the Day Job for two more hours now, did it? I am incorrigible.

Only again, I keep saying it could be worse. Being 19 days in, I’m heading into my angry stage. You stay clean the first week, and it does get easier, but yeah, I’m still lost. So why am I laying all the guilt on now? Bringing up Alice Little, I’m still upset about her case. Now it could be the fact that, as you know, I’ve been cleaning out my phone. Then I found pictures of such and such. I did talk about A Different Alchemy by Chris Dietzel. Jeffery is still lamenting about the passing of his son Galen. Dammit, I could be keeping busy. Reading up on the loss of Alice’s livelihood. I should have headed her way long ago. Instead, I’m sick and twisted with many ideas.

At least it’s not Covid or drugs; still, I’m… remember positivity, Obsessive, Contagious, Addicted, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 195 ~Nobody But Will’s Wife~

THEY say love is an open door, and I’m an open book. But this afternoon, as I was dreaming my life away, I saw all my sins… well, no, a portion I like to think I’m more “imaginative,” and no woman would put up with that. “Nobody But Will’s Wife”

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

Gospel 195 ~Nobody But Will’s Wife~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be “the bad guy, duh.” But am I a great man, a good one, well I’m alright. You, My Love, damn if I was to scream out to the world, all that you mean to me, I better hire some more songwriters, ok. Everyone! Now I say scream because that’s what woke me up from today’s nap. I’m being a bit dramatic, but at first, I was afraid; I was petrified. Yes, another song, but I can’t shake the dream, and that’s where you come in. I want to be a man, but man’s not meant to be alone, somehow.

Nobody but my dog, my firstborn, my Dæmon, the little Imp puts up with me, sigh. Hell, he has as many “pet names” as you; more so. Anyway, I can tell him everything… well no. Like any of our two-legged kids, I keep things out of his eyesight. Does that make me weird? I’m awful. Nobody but my “dad” would say that. (Cough) bullshit, bullshit (cough) pardon my French. The thing is with him, yes, I keep secrets, but I’m wrong. It’s all on the grounds that I exist. If you wonder why I can be a black man in the USA with Republican leanings, it’s him, so you know Nobody, but my government is that bad, though. The last time I checked, my “father” is Democrat. Now, I’m a pro-choice, pro-gun, pro-sex worker, um, let me see. I’m for free healthcare, LGBTQ supporting, meat-eating, environmentalist. And yes, women’s rights.

Nobody but my mom, for the longest time, saw any goodness and me. However, that’s from a distance. I thought all women were like that, which leads me back to my nightmare. Every single secret, “All These Things That I’ve Done,” dreamed, discovered, dammed me. Nobody but you, Will’s wife, that’s not all you are. You’re the smartest woman I know, and what do I mean by that. Hell, I could go in every single direction. I hope you don’t mind me calling you beautiful, sexy, hot as Hell. I always believed the woman I chose, the woman who must also choose me, would be my muse. Only never involved in my business or before a camera’s lens. It’s not that I’m jealous. I watched my sins: your strength, love, baby girl. I’m not a thing like Jesus, heh, but seeing all I am and staying, Nobody But Will’s Wife.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 194 ~Love Is The Ultimate Torture~

Things I can tell my dog and not myself *AHEM* I love you. That’s why hurting myself is nothing, but it’s all panic mode when something is wrong with him. He’s my heart, but what else is there. Money, friends, women? Love Is The Ultimate Torture

Monday, January 11, 2021

Gospel 194 ~Love Is The Ultimate Torture~

Hundred And Seventhly Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and while in Idiocracy, “I like money,” understand “I love money.” Of course, I afforded myself a huge nap this afternoon, and here we are. So either I love my sleep, or I’m not exactly in a lovey-dovey mood. Love hurts, sometimes… There are so many places I can take that. But as always, I’m trying to be a good boy. Speaking of which, that’s the only time I mention love these days when talking to my Dæmon. I didn’t listen to my motivations today, but my son is always my WHY.

“You Always Hurt The One You Love.” That tune is pretty dated. Now, to be honest, it’s one of the reasons I avoided Daily Wellness and motivations. Spotify is bonkers with that old school stuff blasting repeatedly. I’m supposed to speak about my firstborn, trying. Funny, this morning, I was reading again about Jeffery and his boy Galen. How he’s failing as a father, but he loves his kid and failed him. Galen never reacts being a “Block” and all but my son… I look at his furry face and the idea, this hurts me more than it hurts you…

It’s bullshit Madam Justice. I know he’s pained, playing pretend, praying. Better than most women. Okay, this is where the rubber meets blacktop SIGH. Once again, I have to stay on the up and up. I’m not in love with any particular girl at the moment. I’d be worse. The things I say when I’m attracted have nothing on what’s in my heart. Only the words “I Love You” wreck any of my wit. Better to remain silent. It’s again a reason we talk like this, Madam Justice. But my Pinterest boards are starting to regain my usually troubling flair.

My heart, though, remains in a cage. I can tell you truthfully that no, I don’t love myself. Yet, I love freedom. That’s why I keep my secrets, unlike the Trumptards going to jail. Money is still fantastic, so I haven’t been “helping out” Alice Little. Lost her court battle. Addiction pains me every day. Only I’m not spending anything on a fix, yet… Jul3DArt, Love Wolf, QOC, Ero3dLight. I wouldn’t advise looking those up. I want to love the man I’ll be, the woman I’ll have, and the Dæmons siblings. To love me now… Love Is The Ultimate Torture.

I Will Have No Fear