Gospel 118 ~Will To Be Heroes~

Wasn’t it this time last week, I complained about not having dinner yet? It’s because the blankets have been over my head and the slow jams crooning in my ears. Somebody once sang that Love is the answer, but I’m more old school. “Will To Be Heroes.”

Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Gospel 118 ~Will To Be Heroes~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I can stand to fly. Now I’m not like one of these “religious” people who need 4 jets. My Love, as the song goes, “It takes two, baby.” I want a personal one for work and, um, the one they talk about in Nickleback’s Rockstar.

No wonder I’m not hearing a whole lot these days. One more reason that I’m glad you can sing. Of course, I’m not John Legend, Tech N9ne, Hopsin, or B.o.B. I’m not even Wayne Brady. What about Marvin Gaye? I’ve been listening to Marvin a lot lately, with this world. It’s one of the reasons I should be listening to Teddy Pendergrass. The man was speaking to us and everybody else. I can go from “Come Go with Me” to “Wake Up Everybody.” Now, do I call him a hero?

On the one hand, I dared to talk to you, baby girl, um yeah. On the other, what am I doing to help the world? I’m just now waking up in more ways than one. What can I say? I love the things I do now, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t want to take a nice nap always.

It’s hard being a man sometimes. Know in no way am I discounting women. For a minute, I was about to jump on the “Trump Train” shudders. Yeah, I’m going to Hell, but I’m nowhere near that EVIL. I wanted to say, you’re my wife, we got children and Dæmon. Now my point is if I can ever get around to it. I’ve said this before that I’m a man of many hats. I want to be king of the castle… or I can pretend. I want our life together to be an adventure, Indiana Jones theme. With COVID, Alpha’s right, “we’re all monsters now.” It is pretty close to Halloween, and I want to take the kids to Trick or Treating too. My mom did that for my sister and me. I don’t know what they want to be, but I thought about all the hats and masks I don’t wear. Being a Handyman, fedoras, man in the mirror.

I talk about being king, but I’m no prince charming, no knight in shining armor, a soldier. I’m nowhere near Superman. Only You Make Me Better. In the darkness, our LOVE, Will To Be Heroes.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 117 ~Choose The Truth Over Possible~

Another depressing day, yep, it’s Monday. The truth is I’ve wasted today. While anything is possible, like me doing more… Of course I won’t, and why is that? The Walking Dead on my phone, good friends, or being lazy. “Choose The Truth Over Possible”

Monday, October 26, 2020

Gospel 117 ~Choose The Truth Over Possible~

Hundred And Fifty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so words like impossible shouldn’t even be in my vocabulary. Of course, it’s always staring me in the face come Sunday. This morning was the perfect example. The time I needed to get up, vs. the time I actually got up. Forty minutes early ain’t much, but it’s a start. To think I once made it a habit to wake up an hour and a half before my alarm; to read. While I ain’t accomplishing much, I have been reading 15% daily of whatever novel. So the question is, do I still believe in this rule?

“To the edge of the universe and back, endure and survive.” – The Last of Us

One of my motivations says, stop thinking about what you can get away with. Instead, you should ask yourself how much can you bear. At this moment, I’m tired, but I will go on. I should rest, but it’s possible to keep going and why? All the things I can’t talk about. As the song goes, Almost Doesn’t Count. The truth is, I could have finished Far Cry 5, Heavy Rain, even This War of Mine. So why didn’t I? I did say before there are so many endings? Hell, sounds like one of my novels, but we’re not there Justice. Entertainment value and everything else. Am I not entertained? Now the truth is pretty dark. No, I’m not entertained in this life, and if I wanted to… No, the possible is I could be a great man, only a man.

I will forever be a traditionalist, a realist. Yes, I keep the truth from some people, but that doesn’t mean I have not accepted it. Still, I dare to dream for more; faith, hope, and love. Yes, I could be sleeping, but I woke up early, and I’m sitting here talking to you right now. I don’t have to do NaNoWriMo. The truth is I don’t want to because I’ll be tired and stressed. Every time I finish it, there is no great victory, only the mountain climbed and no way to get down. Editing sucks, Madam Justice, so I simply refuse to attempt it. However, what am I doing with GULP then? Will I even get to it today? The truth is no, but it’s there, and it’s possible.

Who am I, Les Brown saying It’s Possible. So my question, believing the rule is an act of 1984 “Doublethink.”

Choose The Truth Over Possible.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 115 ~Wrong Wills To Write~

The good news is I’ve been writing indistinguishable crap, and that’s when I’ve been writing at all. Apparently, I’m on some mad quest to remain “Family Friendly,” except on Thursdays. NaNoWriMo is coming up soon, so… Wrongs Wills To Write.

Saturday, October 24, 2020

Gospel 115 ~Wrong Wills To Write~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and no, I’m not dying anytime soon. Aren’t I dead already, considering what time we find ourselves here, 8:45 AM. I was on time at 4:00 AM. I didn’t have the WILL to rise. Dreaming left me so um, well discombobulated.

What was I dreaming about, you ask? You know I can’t tell you that. No comment until Thursday and by that day? The thing is, even in the dream, my mind knew that it was wrong. Geez, 1984, much? How about that movie, Fortress (1992)? Yet again, I can’t say. That brings me to today’s point, which will also have me sounding like a broken record. IMPOSSIBLE, IMMORAL, ILLEGAL! Only I did say nothing is impossible, or at least my Six Impossible Things. Only I’m not writing my book or anything else for real. Of course, my next novel will be typed, and that’s because I want a new T-Shirt. Hell, I’ll have to pay for it anyway. Still, when it comes to NaNoWriMo, I want to imagine that I EARNED it for doing something.

Like most of the things I create, it’s not like I’m eager to see it again. I’m worried I might lose my progress. One more reason I’m late this morning, my visions, my plots, and all my non-edited works. I’m starting to think that’s why I’m staying so um Family-Friendly.
I’m stopped from writing anything at all because, again, none of it is right. As I said yesterday, I would begin reading another A.J. Markam title. Ok, if other authors, artists, are somehow authorized to do it, why can’t I? An African-American man in America? You know how I’ve been saying, I have to stop listening to old white men, especially the two on stage? Even my music is under attack, Ice Cube, 50 Cent, Kanye West. No sign of Indiana Gone, but we’re still friends. Then all the others…

I don’t want to write anything offhand, off-topic, or offensive. No wonder my last conversations have been all over the place. Can’t talk about the songs I like, the books, or reasons for certain movies. Of course, there are plenty of worst things like Trump winning again, coming from M. Anime. What’s one good thing I can write about? Lady Lu, I’m grateful, but everything ties back into the bad. The Wrong Wills To Write.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 114 ~Willing The Story’s End~

There was a time I would read with a former friend of mine, and she would absolutely refuse to read the next book in the series. Or something else from the author because she liked the first ending. “Willing The Story’s End.”

Friday, Oct 23, 2020

Gospel 114 ~Willing The Story’s End~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I must want to live forever. Well, considering I told my “Olds” no to early voting means I could have signed my death warrant. Once again, Lady Sophia, I’m voting on Nov 3, but will I be around to tell whoever that I did so?

You know that I don’t like anyone on the ballot, to be honest. I despise MAGA hats. On top of all that SIGH, I hate my “father’s” name appearing on the phone. How about wasting time seeing where he and my mother were going? Day ruined, and it’s 9:00 am. What else do I hate reading? Besides his name and the time. I give you this Lady Sophia, “Lord of the Flies,” and “The Moonstone.” Two books I couldn’t get through the first 50 pages. Does that mean I’m STUPID, that BORED? Would the ENDINGS be worth all of it? Even in my novel, I still mourn the deaths of a family. In the second, I grieve for a dead girl and an upcoming marriage. Despite everything, I always figured I wanted to be in love and be a family man. Only that wasn’t the story’s end in any form.

So why all the talk of endings I don’t want to see? I guess it starts with last night. Being the loser I am, it’s been a while since I’ve been on a midnight “Drive.” Yeah, right, it was 7:00 pm before the debate. Anyway, I was scared you’d be reading I got smashed up good. What would M. Anime think about that? I haven’t talked to Indiana Gone forever. Still, being a married, social working college student doesn’t give much time to gab. If anything, I’m only hoping that I don’t scare M. Anime off. I’ve known her longer. However, I wish Eric Vall’s book was a bit longer, but he’s written a series of about 17 of them and even more titles. Of course, Sunday, GULP will still sit unpublished. What about all of my other series waiting?

I don’t fear failure Lady Sophia; I fear the endings. The last one I ever witnessed was Detroit: Become Human, and how many ends does that have again? Hell being a writer, means that I want to be immortal. Eternal, “Always and Forever,” a song.

You and me, um three hours. Willing The Story’s End

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 112 ~Will And His Wrench~

Today was spent assembling rolling carts and the like with a Canadian gentleman. Don’t ever tell me Canada is “a nice place,” but then again, living in the US… yeah, where’s my passport? “Will And His Wrench,” there are several in my plans.

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Gospel 112 ~Will And His Wrench~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m sure I have a few handymen on call. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, being “Family-Friendly” SUCKS. On family, I remember something my “Father” taught me. If you want something done right, do it yourself, yep.

Well, that was in The Fifth Element, too, where I learned that lesson. Now my Mother and Father’s teachings were this. I’m worthless, I better fix it, and how to shut my mouth. A new game system, setting my sister’s TV, the dæmon napping away. Unfortunately, that’s what I was doing most of today, sleeping. If I were smarter, I would have told the Day Job to go to Hell, but instead, I went in. The question; is something wrong with my bed or something wrong with me, as I can’t stay awake for anything. Another signal of my ongoing depression, which is still an excuse. How dare I call it depression as I’m humiliated at the Day Job always. No, I’m only lazy and STUPID. I don’t intend to be so down on myself. I have no real coping tools, really Inspector Echo, SIGH.

Speaking of tools, I’m still looking at the dining room table in utter disgust and contempt. It’s all my fault, no doubt, the burn marks on the wood. I’ve told you how much of a “Scrooge” I am, haven’t I? It’s only October so let’s go with Brewster’s Millions, Inspector.
I haven’t bought an ironing board since when? Hell, I won’t even go out to buy lightbulbs, and I wonder why I can’t see… uh, the light. I am sitting on a thousand dollars, and I won’t spend a penny; why. We know why and I can’t talk about it ever. If I’m being good. Let’s stick to the sins of SLOTH and GREED. Besides talking to you, I am still reading with no thought of the time. 15% every day is my quota. What am I learning about Inspector Echo? Knowledge is power, but none of what I know helped me fix the table.

I am gaining insights into my novel. More like what to steal, but Eric Vall is a great writer. I’m thinking along the lines of some customers getting blackmailed or murdered. And one more thing, none of this makes any sense to you, Inspector. Sorry.

Only, Will And His Wrench

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 111 ~Hoping That’s Butterflies Will~

It’s getting a bit breezy, so I haven’t seen any butterflies lately. I had a bit of a stomach bug last week, and I know that’s TMI. Plus, I haven’t had dinner yet, but what am I in the mood for? Yeah, like it matters. “Hoping That’s Butterflies Will”

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Gospel 111 ~Hoping That’s Butterflies Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I can afford doctors like Trump, I reckon. You know I become such a baby when I’m sick. Even My Dæmon (the little Imp) has dragged a blanket over to me. One more reason our two-legged kids won’t meet their granddad on my side of the family. He made me puke on the tea-cups, honest. Now usually, I don’t talk about stomach stuff. Cleaning up after the Dæmon is enough. So I was listening to Michael Jackson’s “Butterflies” and thought, “funny feeling in my tummy.”

When I first saw you, as an example. So, I’m not one to kiss and tell, but I sent a girl a picture of a Butterfree from Pokémon. What, she spoke about butterflies, so I shared some lyrics. I never even got a kiss, but you were the first one to understand me, My Love. With you, I felt the butterflies once more. Hell, we even danced to the song Butterfly from Crazy Town. I still can’t believe that. I couldn’t dance with Indiana Gone at her wedding. Yet when it was You And Me… I’m going to reminisce about every song heard My Love. “Fear is the heart of love” as I Will Follow You Into The Dark played. Good thing I wasn’t drinking then. It would have made me braver. A stomachache, either because of the booze. Or the fear, but I didn’t want to mess up your dress. That was quite heavenly.

Once upon a time in my sad days, I had the Day Job, and I was sick every morning. I couldn’t eat breakfast, and I would take a bottle of water and Sprite to work. Now to live a dream within a dream. And let’s say that my appetite has improved in every way imaginable. Maybe I’m hungry. With the novels I’ve been reading, the third thing that’s the most talked about is food. You know I’m a traditionalist, but I believe women should do whatever they want. My mom was in business; only she could cook up a storm. McDonald’s was a stable of my bachelorhood, to be honest. I’ll never say no to a Big Mac or a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Filet-O-Fish sandwich? I’m “Coming Home To You” Baby Girl but the way to my heart…

I’m the typical guy babydoll, Nah. Hoping That’s Butterflies Will

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 110 ~I’m Will, There’s A Way~

I didn’t mean to be so depressing today but starting yesterday evening. I looked at where I was in my life, and everything I’ve ever wanted seems so far away. Looking back, seeing a way forward, I’m Will, There’s A Way. Hopefully.

Monday, October 19, 2020

Gospel 110 ~ I’m Will, There’s A Way~

Hundred And Fifty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and of course, it seems like fate, chance, destiny. At least that’s what I was thinking about Sunday night as I asked myself, what have I become. How about at 2:30 AM, my alarm. There’s also 4:30 PM; the day was wasted. Madam Justice, I’m thirty-six, and if you asked me where I saw myself. Well, let’s say that my depression is back with a vengeance. I scorched the dining room table on the grounds of being somewhat responsible. Is that what it is? Now I looked on YouTube for some quick-fix.

Anyway, yesterday I was talking about the Six Impossible Things that aren’t. Hell, the “Big I” is simply the “Grand L.” Yeah, ask me where I’ve been besides gorging on bite-sized shrimp and reading. As I said, I scorched the table, but eating, reading, sleeping. You know I don’t even carry my laptop into my bedroom anymore because I would never leave. I keep the smartphone on the drawers, so I have to walk over and shut it off. Doesn’t matter anyway; I go right back to sleep always. My greatest victory, I can’t even explain. Stupidity, I’m still on my “Family-Friendly” lark. I can’t tell you about what I’m reading or how hard I’m fighting. There’s no way because being Will isn’t allowed. Do I blame Pinterest again? Yes, I still have it but locked all the way from any prying eyes right now.

I am such a broken record Madam Justice. My motivations say you have to know your reason and what. Add to that why and how. Now I won’t bother with the what because you’ve heard it all before, and once again, I can’t speak of it. Being Jacob or Ian? Fortunately, my why is the most innocent looking Dæmon, my Imp, lying next to me. Besides you, Madam Justice, the only woman it’s safe to talk about is my Mother. I want her to be alright and if I can help. Also, I never want to be a comedian. Motivationally speaking, how can I accomplish all this? Reading and writing. Only when’s the last time I have written anything besides our conversations. How long did it take me to write my previous book review, hmm?

THEY don’t get me, I don’t accept me, like the song, Something In The Way. I’m Will, There’s A Way.

“Aut viam inveniam aut faciam tibi.

I will either find a way or make one.”
― Kendall Ryan, Unravel Me

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 108 ~HELLo Will Won’t Go~

Saturday, October 17, 2020

Gospel 108 ~HELLo Will Won’t Go~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which would mean I even have a choice in the matter. As always, seeing how we’re talking so late… 10:15 AM, I chose to sleep in. You don’t even want to know what got me out of bed. Yep “Family-Friendly,” remember?

To be as clear as my head is right now, SIGH. I was up early to read, but I can’t speak of it as I keep saying. The thing is I want to talk about Eric Vall and A.J. Markam. Hell, I even want to talk about my writing. God knows I will when I’m at the Day Job humiliated. Lady Luna, it is by far more acceptable to speak of glorious demon battles. The universal struggle of good vs. evil. I can tell you of a man that wields both the powers of the demonic and the divine. Luther Vandross sang of “the greatest power of them all” however… Every day, as a matter of fact, “Here And Now,” aren’t I living the dream? I’m writing, I have a cup of tea which I’ll get to soon. For the record, my current reading reminds me of W. Anton.

As the world burns all around us outside, in the house, I’m freezing. One more reason, it was hard to get up this morning. I’m fortunate to have My Dæmon, the firstborn, a little “Imp,” to try and keep me warm. Which name do you like? Thank the authors for Imp. Curiouser and Curiouser! You wonder why I’m not turning on the heat. The moment I do, I’ll be burning up, and this cold snap won’t last. I should start checking on the car while I have the time to. I have to go to the Day Job. If only to keep my anger and fear. None of my emotions are useful when it comes to being warm. “Hot N Cold,” am I right? I’m quite eclectic, from Luther Vandross to Katy Perry wow. You know my current theme has been to stop listening to old white guys. What about Eric Vall and A.J. Markam, hmm?

I can’t say I see most of myself wrapped up in the sheets, lying in the sun. The Imp is around here searching for comfy spots. He’ll follow for hot wings, or so I tell myself before resetting the Wi-Fi. Yet, HELLo Will Won’t Go.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 107 ~Read Dead Redemption Will~

Another week, one more book read the same subject but a different author. All I can ask is, when did I get into monsters? I guess it explains how I got inspired by Adam and his “first wife,” and I don’t mean Eve *hint*. Read Dead Redemption Will

Friday, October 16, 2020

Gospel 107 ~Read Dead Redemption Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m sure I’ll own a vineyard someday. The thing is, Lady Sophia, I don’t even drink. Now sure I have my addictions, you know the one I’m fighting. I sleep far too much for my liking. When I was a child, it was only reading. Hell, this morning, I finished another Eric Vall title. You know I’m trying to stay “Family-Friendly,” so if you look up his name, that’s your fault. I’m also heavy into A.J. Markham. That’s about 11 bucks spent on the third book of both of their series, and that’s only today.

So why aren’t I doing more reading; that leads me to the revelation I had earlier. Upon finishing my latest book, I decided to brag on Goodreads. I had around 45 emails, and I told myself I’m only going to sign in on Goodreads. Yeah, I’ll also drop some money on Amazon and pick out new books. Sorry A.J. um Eric won this round. Only if I got an email, I would delete 5. It took me over 4 hours because I kept getting messages. It’s not that I’m not reading Lady Sophia; it’s that I’m reading honestly ungodly amounts. Excuses again, I hear you, My Lady. Those are the only things I write nowadays, like promising I’m only going to take a 10-minute nap at 12:50 PM. Here we are 3 hours later. What is with all the numbers?

Anyway, now you can see why I missed Pinterest so much. While I was in the process of waking up, I did start another board for writing. Yes, you best believe I locked it down. So my work for NaNoWriMo come November will be about fruit. That’s all I’m allowed to share with you and the present time. To be fair, I don’t have a title for it, but maybe when I get the twenty chapters down, I’ll have some ideas. Each chapter will feature fruit in the name, hopefully. Okay, so without further ado:

She’s My Cherry Pie
Cherry-pick
Life is a bowl of cherries
Cherry Condition
Cherry Bomb

Peaches and Cream
Big Melons
Lemons
Go Bananas
Second Bananas

Apples and Oranges
Apple Of My Eye
American As Apple Pie
Bad Apple
Apple Never Falls Far From The Tree

Plum Assignment
Grapes Of Wrath
Strawberry Fields Forever
Forbidden Fruit
In The Garden Of Eden

Well, I still don’t have a proper title. And this was a lot harder than it looks, but I did have fun doing it. Except I’m looking forward to WWE. I have to write a new intro for the guild that I’m now in charge of. How about how badly I’m being beaten in Call me a LEGEND? Is it still so strange that all I want to do is close my eyes? Aren’t there more important things that aren’t related to me? No Lady Sophia, you won’t be reading my obituary any time soon but Read Dead Redemption Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 105 ~Three Willy And More~

I like the movie Free Willy but my hand to God that title was the bane of my existence. Back then, didn’t that movie rule the box office, and as to ruling. What about my own life… Three Willy and More

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Gospel 105 ~Three Willy And More~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now and ruler of the three kingdoms… more or less, remains to be seen. Well, aren’t I feeling all high and mighty considering this is Day Four of (you know what)? For the record, I liked “Free Willy,” but that title, SIGH.

Anyway, for what brings us together today, let’s start with Pinterest. I still mourn the loss of my second account. Hell, I created a whole new email account and am in the process of rebuilding. While it will never come to pass and almost doesn’t count, I have to “DO.” As to why I’m here so late, 4:05 PM. Have you ever discovered some “media” and then you’ve lost it? All-day, besides sleeping, of course, I’ve been searching for a particular girl. Now that’s about as far as I can get into it since today isn’t Thursday. I did fail.

Interestingly enough, I haven’t been adding many other boards. I’m sticking to my guns, no doubt, when it comes to locking down every gallery. For once, I am hiding. While at work, I’m again either trying or doing. So opposite.

I told one of the girls, Hell maybe even you, about my “promotion” working in the stockroom. If anything, I’m beginning to conclude that I will only be the fall guy in some shape. At least it keeps my mind off all the STUPIDITY that I usually do at work. Entertaining I am… but I’ve said before that the comedian is dead. I take a good look around, and there are far better jesters, jokers. Now you know how I hate the jeering above everything else. Is that what’s taking me so long to write those reviews, Quibi hmm. Somehow I finished that review that’s been on my Six Impossible Things list forever. Talk about being guilty, and you know I want to take responsibility. It’s that people have a tendency to ask me for everything. What is Rule 153? No Doesn’t Make You Cowardly.

Now to the only kingdom that should matter, and that’s my writing. Through writing, I will build a new world in my image. A place where My Firstborn will have all that he desires because he is killing me with his latest demands. Hell, I like to spoil him, Echo.

I am sorry though I didn’t write and everything’s falling. GREED, Three Willy And More.

I Will Have No Fear