Chronicle 027 ~Not Another Word… B~

I wrote so early and posted it so late. I cannot fail my son again. Only, I’ve spent all the rest of this day in bed and before that… well I time travel? As the song goes, My Lazy Ass, but I have been writing about my son. “Not Another Word… B”

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

Chronicle 027 ~Not Another Word… B~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because I don’t make excuses. Today has been pretty humiliating. I haven’t lived it.

I am, of course, talking about Saturday the 24th. If I was a betting man, I would put money on the fact that Wednesday hasn’t been anything to talk about. Oh, I have done plenty of talking today, right here from bed. If Braxton were here, this couldn’t stand. Inspector, I wouldn’t blame him in the slightest for bitching me out. Okay, I’d tell Braxton to shush it, but I would deserve it. You heard me right about being in bed all day. The farthest I have walked was to fetch my computer. The world, Sick Sad World Inspector. I wish I could tell you it was other people; good, they may be, who had the problems. All my dicking around watching Girlfriend Reviews SIGH.

I’m not sick. Well, physically, I hope. Um, the last time I went out, and that was for BBQ, E. Mentally, the best psychiatrist I ever had was B III, and somehow he made everything okay for me. Now my head is a mess, and all I know is, I did worse today than yesterday. It also didn’t help that I got all in about the day Braxton died. To think that I could cover all of that in one chapter of his novel, about 2,500 words. If I want more shame, how about the fact that I haven’t finished the damn thing yet? When I reread this, what? Inspector Echo, do I expect to be done? If I was doing 5000 words these days?

No, Friday it was only 3100 words, so I could not watch The Olympics. You know what I mean, I diddled on my phone all evening and did some security. Speaking of which, you see the alerts that have been going off. Inspector Echo I want to say “disappear,” careful. I was reminded of that time with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Besides Braxton being gone, what else can I say? In a few minutes, I will get up and honor my son as always. I’ll eat some sour worms, get the mail, come back and read. Routine dear Echo. But I am once again failing Braxton. I’m failing everybody. B bothers me more, Inspector. How I wish he was here. Not Another Word… B

178 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 020 ~B, Wear The Sandman~

We don’t stop when we’re tired. We stop when we’re done. B III was tired, but I was the one who told him when he was done. And now 171 Days… I need only look at my old computer “desk” lined with treats what have I done. B, Wear The Sandman.

Wednesday, July 21, 2021

Chronicle 020 ~B, Wear The Sandman~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if I’m going to stay awake… All you need do is tell me B III’s sick what would I do.

My Lazy Ass should be criminalized. If not today, then indeed Tuesday, January 26, 2021. The day before, I saw anything that B III had five days left. Now here I am arriving early, Time-Travel Echo. You know what that means; the Day Job is kicking my ass yet again. Well, not really. You should have seen me yesterday; I do mean Monday. When it comes to the Day Job, no problem. While I was fixing dinner, I decided to work on “Stuff And Thangs.” Oh, how easy was that. Yet when it came to talking about my boy, Braxton. “Dammit, vaccines” is something I want to say. Should I have warned Carolina Bound before she took the plunge? Hell, it’s not the COVID vaccine.

Some motivations were talking about how a man will come up with an excuse. I’m starting to worry that I won’t finish B III’s Novel before the end of the month, surprise surprise. I’m An Asshole, as the song goes. I’m Fucking up Six Impossible Things always and forever, yep. What madness is it that I have the Day Job which I hate? I talk to you and the girls, but nobody sees. I share my naughty bits, and Maitland Ward did subscribe um woohoo! But the one thing that matters, like when B III lived, I throw it to the wayside. My god Echo. Who’s the one who should R.I.P. If it was between Braxton and me? We both know the answer to that.

I Don’t Fear The Reaper Inspector Echo. Braxton was on the lookout for him, too, while guarding the door. In the novel, I keep talking about “My Turn.” When Braxton was asleep, I was looking out for him. I shared because Braxton never gave me less than his whole heart. Even when it was barely beating, B walked to his water. He went under the bed because he knew I was worrying over him. He crawled into my lap because he knew I needed him. And if we had walked out of that office, my B III would’ve always come running. These days though, as the song goes, the dreams in which I’m dying. I wish I could tell Braxton this. B, Wear The Sandman

171 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 013 ~Could Use Braxton’s Battery~

Isn’t it only women that worry about how they look sleeping? I’m too tired to worry about being sexist or not even being as WOKE as I am. Anyway, no one could ever sleep as cute as B III. Now that’s sad, considering… Could Use Braxton’s Battery.

Wednesday, July 14, 2021

Chronicle 013 ~Could Use Braxton’s Battery~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but if I were back then, I would have had eyes on Braxton 24/7, 365 easy.

I’m sorry most of my pictures are of Braxton sleeping. It took me seeing him die for five days to keep up with him. Even then, he would not tolerate me making things easier for him. I still see him, my Baby B, getting up on his own four legs going to his water bowl. It was like in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 4×26 “Broken Link.” Odo was ill and could barely walk, but he went out like a man, in front of everyone, fighting for every step, yep. How about Best of the Best, when Alex dislocated his shoulder and somehow got back in the ring, fought, and won. B III would have kept fighting for life if I had brought him home.

I wish I could say that watching YouTube or movies like Men of Honor is what I’ve been doing. Oh yeah, Inspector Echo, my time is so precious that I sleep the days away, ok. Yeah, I’m usually unconscious as I lie here in my bed, getting a faint whiff of B even after 164 Days. One day the smell will disappear, and what will I do, Inspector? No recharge? Speaking of which, I have another excuse for you. For two days straight, I’ve been trying to fix the car with my father. The first day cost me my NaNoWriMo daily badge. Yesterday I didn’t work at all. I threw in B III’s letters giving me 10,000 words. I’m behind. So I’m failing my son.

Now, this isn’t new. There’s Braxton, my second best friend, my third best friend, “Stuff And Thangs,” my father. I’m treating this like I’m some heroic survivor in the Andes. The only person I’m eating is my future self. I lack energy for any sexiness. I’m so thankful, but I’m also lying knowing that when the mood strikes me like any film, novel, or song. Hell, that’s the problem; who’s watching or listening to me other than Braxton from wherever. Inspector Echo, will I always hate looking in mirrors? The way Braxton saw me and would run over my head with his paws if I didn’t get up on time. Triple B was my life. But to give that up writing? Could Use Braxton’s Battery

164 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 345 ~Good Morning B, Sorry~

Last week I talked about “sleepytime,” and this one, I’m still as lazy. Only more to the point of what it was/is like to wake up with somebody that loves you. Other than Braxton, I can’t say I have much experience. Good Morning B, Sorry, but rest now

Friday, June 11, 2021

Gospel 345 ~Good Morning B, Sorry~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so how’s that for waking up with gratitude. I suppose I’m grateful for sleeping even more.

As always, a note that I’m not suicidal, but if I could sleep forever… Again I woke up at 4:00 AM, said my stomach hurts, and fell back asleep. I didn’t have anything pressing, hmm. Braxton wasn’t here to step on my face. His fur wasn’t all over the place. I’m sure he would have found something to bark at by now. I’d take those mornings over this, I know. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate them more. Inspector Echo is one to hear my confessions. Braxton is somewhere resting upon the perfect comfy spot that he’s still digging into, bet. The last day he was with me, he was lying beside me, but we’ll get to that. Oh great, now my tears have found comfort.

I would tell B III I was sorry before I even told him good morning. Then, of course, I’d follow with another apology. Sorry for waking him up, a morning with meds, then yep, sorry B, but keeping you alive…

On my off days, he would be the one waking me up for his morning walks. I was the lazy one, and he would jump around until I was ready to go. It’s a toss-up to eat or walk. There were, of course, those nights when I was writing, thinking, “I’m Gonna Be Somebody.” I already was Lady Sophia. I am B III’s Daddy, but those were late bedtimes. If I had done something, it would have been worth it, but here’s a question. Where am I this gray morning?

Like Friday, January 29, 2021, I’m sitting in bed reviewing a story, only it happens to be Braxton’s now. Gospel 212 On The “Will” Succubus… what the fuck, ignorance, insanity. At the same time, I was petting Braxton, telling him I was sorry he felt sick. I called Braxton’s vet after four hard days at the Day Job, never once thinking about THE END. Lying in his own bed that Sunday as I held him, seeing his little brown eyes fight for life. I’m sorry, it’s okay, you can rest, the words flowed from me. I wish I had told him, Sleepytime, Night, Night Braxton, Sweet Dreams. But, I do now, knowing that as the alarm rings, I’ll walk downstairs saying Good Morning B, Sorry.

131 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 338 ~B The Dream Within~

I’d sing to B plenty but a lullaby before “sleepytime.” He was always busy guarding the house, protecting me in my laziness, or stuffing his face. Sleepytime was the only time we dreamt together. Then one Wednesday afternoon… B The Dream Within.

Friday, June 4, 2021

Gospel 338 ~B The Dream Within~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But instead of dreaming about those billions, new books, or my boy, last night was terrible.

Might I write out some of my dreams tomorrow? Today, of course, being Day 124 is all about Braxton’s dreams. If my pictures are any indication, I watched B III sleep a lot. It’s the least I could do as he did the same for me when I would come from the Day Job. No wonder I’m so exhausted. Besides, you know, manual labor. I don’t have anyone watching my back anymore, so I have to be on guard. When I was awake, it was my turn; no words necessary, yet I still ask the question. What are you dreaming, Little B? Vittles mostly? Lady Sophia, you don’t know how badly I want to believe that. He had his good dreams but also some nightmares.

As I said before, I could tell you about my nightmare. Usually, I only sleep that of the dead. Hell, at least Braxton and I could be together, other dreams I’ve written down before. Having escaped work yesterday, I wish I would have slept more. To see B on duty, I’ll always miss him on his perch. There were the days he would lie out in the sun as I worked downstairs. I continue to carry his pillow and place it under the table. Yet today, I’m working on the couch, partly because my shoulder hurts and after my betrayal. Now I used to think B III was pretty annoying when he woke me up, but you know what? If anything, he stopped my nightmares.

Most of them appear in the daylight now. The first is always a world without my son. There is no waking up from this but only a feeling against my ankles; an imagined bark echoed. You know when everybody wants me to shut up, there’s this one like yesterday that asks. So where’s that little puppy of yours? Braxton passed away; beats I’m a murderer. Cause what am I now? I can’t say I’m a monk anymore after 161 Days. Once again, my attempt at asexuality started before Braxton’s death. I don’t deserve to feel good, and even after the moment it happened, “Stuff And Thangs.” There was my shame. I hope Braxton was resting and not watching his Dad fall. B The Dream Within

124 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 331 ~B In Present Tense~

Boys and their toys; B was never a toy and usually not a dog. He is my son, and the things he liked most he could eat. He had lots of toys, though, and I told myself after Christmas, I’ll make it up to you when you’re 16 but then… B In Present Tense.

Friday, May 28, 2021

Gospel 331 ~B In Present Tense~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I would buy Braxton a ton of toys. A swimming pool full of fries

Before that, there was Blue. Well, we never gave the big blue dog a name, but he was Braxton’s fifth friend. I suppose, like any father, I wanted to teach my son to fight. Who am I kidding, right? I saw a big dog a few days ago and spent another minute in the car. B III made me brave, but I’m also a black man living in America. After a while, it wasn’t safe to walk with Lucille, a plastic bat, or even a slightly skinny stick to protect us. I don’t mean to sound “political.” Long story short, I saved us from pets but B. That boy was my salvation from people. So we sat there wrestling; he’s undefeated against the Blue dog.

Braxton grew up as growing boys do. I never had the heart to get him neutered. Another part of my Bargaining (Five Stages of Grief). If I had done so, perhaps he would still be alive today. Hell, sometimes I was, as the song goes, “a motherfuckin’ P-I-M-P,” for B. Plenty of people wanted him to breed. A Pure Blood Deer Head Chihuahua, in case you’re wondering why I’m such a dog snob now. If I had to do it all over again, I would have liked to meet B’s kids like I wanted him to love mine. He only had a stick of TNT. “I’m not crazy or anything,” it was a plush toy he had for his Stuff and Thangs. Indiana Gone saw

She also saw B III in love with his favorite toy, a red monster hairdryer plushy she gave him. It was his favorite toy in the whole wide world. He could smell her on it, and every so often, I get a whiff of him. Of all the toys in the world, it was the one I placed beside him. Now I’m going to cry again, remembering him lying in his bed, my arms around him. There was my black hoodie lying in his bed and that toy. If he had a choice, the choice I took from him, B would have given the toy to me for my comfort. He knew before I did.

No toy for Christmas or Birthday… B In Present Tense

117 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 324 ~Go To Bed B~

Right now, I want to go back to sleep and see if I can find Braxton. Hell, John Wick got another dog, and I dreamt I was Mr. Wick last night. It’s better than the dreams of my actual crime, and B III can’t wake me up anymore. “Go To Bed B.”

Friday, May 21, 2021

Gospel 324 ~Go To Bed B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I can sleep without the money. Dare I say without the girl? But there’s Braxton.

Besides my tattoo, I’ve been thinking about getting one of those “Cuddle Clones.” Still, I haven’t been able to decide between B III sleeping or being awake. Braxton slept well. Okay, so that’s something you tell a baby, “oh, you’re such a good sleeper.” I’ve told the story of Braxton being my “pancake” and curling up in my lap as I sat working on stories. The Wednesday before he died, he didn’t take his post at the corner of my bed after I got back. He didn’t crawl on my legs, looking towards the door. B cried and my response. Father of the year says, “Go To Bed B,” like he hadn’t been sleeping all day. Still, he crawled under my arm, staying beside me.

There will always be the story of when I thought I left him outside all night. Of course, I didn’t. Only I was out running around in the morning while Braxton slept in his house. Any day when I was leaving, he would formulate a plot to get me to stay. He knew I wouldn’t leave him inside the bedroom. Denial, it seems, moving his bed and the dog gate. With the Day Job, Braxton gave up. It was too early even for him, or he knew I had made my choice like “Six: The Mark Unleashed.” The last free choice, the wrong choice Sophia. Yes, I’m still freaking out about the COVID-19 Vaccine. I’m not a man of faith; I deserve Hell… I’m there.

“I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I think you’re already there.” Jack Valentine

Because telling Braxton, he could rest either was an act of mercy or a fucking crime. I’ll tell the story of when I placed his water next to him. Braxton walked to its usual place. When he was dying, he wouldn’t sleep in the car. Braxton wouldn’t even lie down, not my son. Braxton fought for every single second of his life and what he wanted was to come home. Sometimes I’ll move his favorite toy to his spot on the bed, to the couch. I’ll keep it on my lap. Braxton was preparing me for “Times Like These.” I dreamt I was John Wick and Braxton was nowhere to be found. I slept longer, hoping when I woke… “Life finds a way;” “stuff and thangs.” Go To Bed B.

110 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 109 ~Heroes Hoarding Good Will~

Sometimes I wish I could be the hero, give out hope like it was candy in my pocket, give hope to men. Seems plenty of people are hoarding it these days. In a way, I’m selfish because I want to save myself and my Dæmon first. Heroes Hoarding Good Will

Sunday, October 18, 2020

Gospel 109 ~Heroes Hoarding Good Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why isn’t any of that “trickling down” to you? Now you’ll still be voting for Biden and Harris. Despite all of the ideologies you share with the Republican Party. Talk about something that won’t be changing in the next three weeks. You might have to put that on your six impossible things list come the week of the election. To think I’ve made you some room this week. Of course, you still have to read, and you can’t put voting up until November 1. Trying to save the world and yourself.

As we have talked of so many times in the past, you’re no hero. Not one of your Six Impossible Things says, Be The Hero, and yet we live in Zombieland. The first thing is about being a better man. How else can you be, The Merovingian, Victor Strand, etc.?

Villains, Anti-Heroes, somewhat alright, which leads to the second, why you need to be a good father. What better men are there? Than Dads hmm? I’ve only ever played the first God of War. I never finished Heavy Rain. SPOILER ALERT, Joel dies, The Last of Us Part II. Now concerning the third impossible thing AHEM A Man Provides. My writing is my work, which is now your livelihood. Not the Day Job that even now you’re dreading. You are not a joke or one punchline. You are a writer. These aren’t Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Completed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus Lord 2, Eric Vall
    Completed

I accomplished two of these things this week. It might have taken a year, but #4 got done. You take a stand on something. Even if nobody reads it, if anyone rejects, or if it’s barely a roar, it is there. Now when will you give others a chance? Strange, isn’t it but be loud. Hell, the only reason you’re sitting at the dining room table is that you got eight hours. I was about to say that’s impossible. Yes, you call it the “Big I,” which simply goes to show you the man you are. Kids get pats on the head for sleeping on time. But to change it? Finally, of course, you read to hone your craft. You are trying to educate yourself. Hell, for motivation to be a hero like Ian or Jacob, or write like S. Wolf, Eric Vall, A.J. Markham. Yet these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Preparing My Plot For NaNoWriMo
  5. I AM Writing A New Guild Intro
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus Lord 3, Eric Vall

We’re going into overtime because here’s today’s point. How many days have you seen anyone and everyone asking you to vote? You go to the Day Job and grunt your way like a caveman through such tasks. Yet nothing as fulfilling as the written word. Rule 002 You Are Not A Caveman. Rule 003 Now The Work Can Begin. Am I asking you to be the hero? THEY say you can’t be if you’re only saving yourself. There’s you, your Dæmon (Imp), Dear Future Wife. Now you’ll vote, which might not save the world. Only you and he must survive. Because Heroes Hoarding Good Will

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 102 ~When Will Gets Ticked~

While I’m proud to say there is not one tick on My Dæmon, I still see them everywhere… counting down on the clock, in everything people do, and in one more reason I’m a writer. It’s hard to ball a fist while typing. “When Will Gets Ticked.”

Sunday, October 11, 2020

Gospel 102 ~When Will Gets Ticked~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you’re mad you’re not, I get it. To be fair and yes, I repeatedly say who knows if money would make you happy. The wealthiest people out there seem to be the angriEST. Some even work the hardEST putting their soul on paper. How often are the smartEST heard? I’m amazed you know the EST of WWE. At least she’s a black woman and not some old white guy… no offense to your mentors. Speaking of which, motivation speakers ask why are you here and why are you angry. Um well…

Why do lounge around in bed, “thinking about tomorrow?” Well, now we’re back to the white guys, AHEM, you got nowhere else to go. Nobody’s going to blame you if we don’t have this conversation today. How many have we had while you lie dying? Ticked off at the world. How about why are you here creating? Yesterday I started Pinterest again, and just this morning, you added two new boards. All of them locked down tight. The names of those boards dull. More importantly, what about your writing? You do see the eleventh. However, why would you even care? Dammit, the clock is ticking, tick, tock. You wanted to be up at 8 AM, right? What, not 4 in the morning? You also said you would be at the dining room table. So many promises like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight Always
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus 2 (Hell To Pay) Another A.J. Markam Title
    Completed

Are you angry that you’re starting “Back At One” again? 1 point for being alive and 16.5 points for reading another book, which I gave five stars to. Do you realize 15 poems a day for a week is over 100, and all you have to do is read them over? You choose to sleep. You’re ticked because you have so much time, and you waste it. I know you’re mad at me and the others; the reason why you restarted this blog. At the end of each day, you always hate yourself even more. You keep wanting to live for today, only it’s impossible. Greatest lie there is, you know but mixed with some truth. If we were to go back and look at the list all this year, what would we find? You paid people to publish a book, and you haven’t sent it, geez Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus Lord 2, Eric Vall

So you’re here and angrily dreaming When Will Gets Ticked.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 095 ~It’s The “Willing” Hour~

People talk about seeing the light, there’s the sun, my son, the glow of my computer screen (writing), and please can I take my mind off of headlights if you know what I mean? It’s The “Willing” Hour.

Sunday, October 4, 2020

Gospel 095 ~It’s The “Willing” Hour~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means, well, God only knows what I would do with that wealth. Haven’t I said that before? Anyway, for you, it’s the witching hour. Um, nope, it’s 6:25 AM, but you were up at 4:05. You’re getting ever so much closer to “Wake Up At 4:00 AM Every Day Will Change Your Life.” Now I’m not here to reiterate that video. Don’t I always repeat myself? You’re not learning the lessons, are you; sitting on the sofa with a sleepy Dæmon. You want the WOMEN, to WAKE up happy, then WORK.

Today is always about the LIST of those Six Impossible Things. You’ve had three hours, and what have you done. The Walking Dead, Call me a LEGEND, a shower, shave, and sit down. Speaking of which, The Walking Dead comes back tonight, so good things. Entertaining yourself should be the last thing on your list. Hell, you’ve even flirted with the idea of starting Pinterest again? Albeit you’ll block it because people do suck. That, of course, brings me back to you with so many distractions. Don’t touch that phone, dude. In ten minutes, your three-hour window of opportunity is gone, but what about yesterday? I know that’s my fault. Besides sleeping and fighting off addiction, I was zoned out. Do you know I didn’t hint at porn to Lady Lu? Wow, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight Always
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus by A.J. Markam
    Completed

A score of thirty-four, so yeah, an F, but what does that number even mean? The Goodreads Challenge got done. Ten books. Yet I want you to make it eleven. Incredible how damn easy it is for you to become distracted. Focus on Succubus 2 (Hell To Pay), will you? Mathematics is such a bore until it comes to what you should be doing and, above all, living. Instead, you rather count sex scenes, suspensions, and the hours of sleep you’re getting. Although you got six last night, it’s never enough, and no, don’t check the Day Job. You’re here right now facing the man in the mirror, and when it’s 7:45 AM, you’re moving to the dining room table. Yes, you’re removing yourself from your comfort zone. And again, I don’t mean to sound like so many repeated motivations. You have Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight Always
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus 2 (Hell To Pay) Another A.J. Markam Title

Damn, these things have lasted almost the whole year. Exhaustion and Erotica are not rewards. Work, It’s The “Willing” Hour.”

I Will Have No Fear