Tag: Sleep

Log 355 ~Will Earns His Stripes~

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So what did I do this week… if anything, it wasn’t better. I slept most of the week away, dreaming about what I did wrong to yet another friend. I didn’t publish my story again. I didn’t go to jail, so yay. Will Earns His Stripes.

Saturday, June 20, 2020

Log 355 ~Will Earns His Stripes~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why am I still here? Directly where I was last week only older, ornerier, and having an orgy with my past misdeeds. For the record, I AM A BLACK MAN. I’m also a sadist, a writer of “erotica,” a would-be pornographer, and a pimp ha.

Let’s focus on me being a Black Man, but many African Americans would disapprove. You know, Lady Luna, for the past week, my focus has been on “The Nine.” Of those nine women, two were minorities, one woman was Mixed, and the second was Latina. One of them informed higher-up, the other asked me to leave her alone, and I did so. You can call me toxic when it came to The D because I didn’t stop when asked. Granted, that was my fault in college (COUGH) junior college. That leaves five; with The Harmonic War, I didn’t want anything but to piss her off to my forever shame. The Basic Bitch slammed me for my bullshit, “pardon my French.” Now, that leaves only four, Okay, Rainbow Girl, Cherry, and MILF Dos. Keeping track, hmm?

So what’s my point? Of nine, seven were white women, and I had an epiphany with all the racial concepts circulating. Now, this might be me only attempting to skirt the blame. The thing is I always figured these women ran off because of who I am as a man. I understand that, no question. Hell Indiana Gone is the only woman that wouldn’t judge me for Of Inner Demons. I don’t say that about her being a black woman but one of my own heart. Anyway, I would accept it if these, (gulp) white women found me ugly. I still haven’t body issues about myself, especially with my teeth.

No Lady Luna, the thought I had was this… I AM A BLACK MAN. How dare I am I right? My Lady, I am not an African American male living his life for some white lady to call the cops quickly. Every damn time, I know I’ve done something wrong, but what? I asked out the Rainbow Girl, posted a Pokémon, or a song lyric and blocked. I showed Cherry my work, and she knew it was about her beforehand, so silence. I offered a deal and a hello to MILF Dos and blocked again.

A black man in a cell, Will Earns His Stripes.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 348 ~Don’t Be WEEK Will~

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It’s times like these I tell myself, I’m going to do better. I have an entire week to do what I love, and that’s writing or do I want to go back to the Day Job and “Home & Kids” (shudders). Don’t Be WEEK Will but more like bright future whoever.

Saturday, June 13, 2020

Log 348 ~Don’t Be WEEK Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I shouldn’t be WEAK, right? All this past WEEK, I’ve woken up at 4 AM, survived the world I was given. Hell, I still have the Day Job. Should I mention every slight, sin, and sorry not sorry I’ve had to contend with? If anything, now is the time for strength, to speak, and yes for Team Skeet, AHEM Alex Tanner “My Sister Is A H*e.” If I were a better man, well, no, a Christian, I would be praying for my friend right now. If but to share good vibes and positive thoughts, right?

What about me, though, and my selfishness? Yeah, this talk is brought to you by the letter S. The fact right now that I want to be WEAK this minute and go back to sleep. I want to sin right now and give into lust. I want to say hello and help my friend, but I’m afraid. You know what scared me the most, though during this week… looking STUPID. I still hate saying that word, and right now, I should be feeling super. All I am now is sticky. Relax Lady Lu, I spilled a soda and didn’t shower after, only changed my clothes.

Something I won’t be doing a lot of this coming WEEK as I checked my Day Job schedule. I don’t want to be every other week Will. I have seven days and not like when I’m there, trying to make it only another day. Okay, the question becomes, what am I going to do with them. I should say something to my friend. I’m still no saint, but I’ve spent 24 days, not playing Shaft if you know what I mean. Some might say I should seek salvation, or should I trust that my story will save me these days.

Tomorrow I will tell myself to be better. Yeah, then I’ll do something silly instead of singing, “I can’t live my life This Way.” What about my son? I should get up right now and walk in the sunshine because, how long has this conversation taken. Oh, you mean between looking up porn and song lyrics. Wanting to be a saint but living as a sinner. I’m seeing the destruction of the country as I’m surfing YouTube as per usual.

I say, don’t be weak. Will, Don’t Be WEEK Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 315 ~No Rest For The Wicked~

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My first day back at the Day Job officially, and I hope I’m not sick. Maybe the zombies will finally take the planet, which is far more likely than my finishing a book for publication, don’t you think? No Rest For The Wicked.

Monday, May 11, 2020

Log 315 ~No Rest For The Wicked~

Hundred And Thirty-Sixth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I can’t be evil; I sleep way too much. Then again, I know plenty of sinners that sleep like babies. Am I saying that all rich people are evil… was it hard choosing sides between Captain America and Ironman? SIGH that has me thinking about the Day Job. No, I’m not a superhero, not even an ESSENTIAL worker, I’m only in retail. So how was my first day back? Well, seeing’s it’s Saturday right now, and last night I wanted to vomit looking at my schedule. As I talked about yesterday, being “Status Quo” is one thing. What evil things do keep me up at night?

The worse would have to be when My Dæmon isn’t feeling well. It means I’m forgetting what it is to be a father when I can’t help him. All of yesterday, I was figuring out how to buy his meds. I bought food, shared fries, let him hog the bed. Still, he’s an old man, and I’m fighting time. Speaking of time, what am I doing for Mother’s Day? One of those “holy” holidays I forgot about while talking to Dear Future Wife? The good news is, I haven’t forgotten, seeing again I know what day it is. Only what do I think about what my Mom told me yesterday about my grandfather? Should I be broken up, destroyed about my Granddad having the Coronavirus (COVID-19)? I told everyone about the man who said, and I quote, “I don’t know you,” and that’s not him being old. Family… what family?

No Lady Sophia I’m too busy looking at Girls, Girls, Girls, all night. I swear I can’t go to sleep until I, well? Afterward, I still don’t want to sleep, as Dennis Hof said, he goes looking for the next party. It’s like The Matrix; all I see is blonde, brunette, redhead. Same with my stories, didn’t I mention Indiana Gone, Whisper Girl, and Cherry. I write about the things I would like to do to women and then crickets, tumbleweeds, utter silence. I would never consider silence as my fear, but people treat it as a sin. If I want to talk about sin, though, what about the things I do to myself. Hell, it’s why I’m still alive.

If I ever published a book or built a brothel? No Rest For The Wicked.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 264 ~Will You Be Scared~

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Last week I said I’m not sleepy, but sure I am exhausted tonight, but I wrote 400 words for my novella; yep when I would once write full chapters, but I got two weeks to make up for it, but what about the end of the world? Will You Be Scared hmm

Saturday, March 21, 2020

Log 264 ~Will You Be Scared~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and rich people are the biggest scaredy-cats. When it happens to me, Lady Lu, not if, but when; well must I sing. “No, I won’t be afraid, Oh, I won’t be afraid,” what do you think? I’m finding it hard to be fearful today (Thursday). The Day Job is closing up shop for two weeks because of the Coronavirus (COVID-19). No more excuses right, two weeks to write, to become a better man, a worthy father, etc. Staying like this, spooky.

As The Walking Dead says Fight The Dead Fear The Living, so I have plenty.

No Lady Lu, the streets aren’t flooded with Walkers, for now. Let’s start with when I came back to the house today. I began working on my novella. You want to know what scares me about that. I nearly exploded in my pants, and I still have doubts about my writing. Shouldn’t I fear that all the rest of the stores are closing up? Again today, I’m not eating. I still have food, of course, but it’s as if I have no time. It’s one of the reasons I’m talking to you last, no offense Lady Lu. I know I wouldn’t go to bed before our chat. What about reading The Gargoyle? I felt the temptation to listen to it on Audible. Instead, I started, Prisoner by Annika Martin and Skye Warren. Am I scared that I’ll start procrastinating as I did with Dark Notes? Speaking of listening, I haven’t mentioned the humming that much.

What if I never have a quiet moment in this house again. I have at least half a dozen projects in this place, and still, I want my money. Yeah, and what am I trying to spend money on again, as always. I’m not worried about toilet paper or water. There was a moment yesterday; I felt like The Postman (1997). ‘Things are getting better, getting better all the time.” I found bottled water and generic TP and thought okay, not so bad. Only everyone is telling me the world is ending and what do I say to that. I’m not scared, but I’m not ready, but I instead face the dark days than a “good” day at work. My life is nothing to write about, but here we are.

At the moment, like yesterday, I’m tired, but 400 words richer; Will You Be Scared.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 257 ~Will To Be Obscene~

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I do stay up way past my bedtime though, like my furry son, I am much too old to make things so simple anymore, but when my head hits the pillow, there are no ifs, and or buts, now about living… I’m Not Sleepy Will

Saturday, March 14, 2020

Log 257 ~Will To Be Obscene~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as always, how do I make my money. Somebody has already made a “certain” parody of the Game Of Thrones. The only reason I’m awake now is “Sophie Turner’s Stumped” Quibi. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again “adult entertainment” gets me moving like nothing else. Lady Lu, I had so many plans for this afternoon (Thursday). Of course, you know that worked killed me, almost. The old saying, what doesn’t kill you and whatnot. I’m still alive.

Sometimes that’s all you can say, I’m still alive, as the song goes. I know I didn’t make much sense yesterday, so I have to ask why. If it’s for that gasp, a giggle, those groans, well, you know why I rather not be, am I right? We are living in the plague era, and yet the flesh does not bother me. Indeed, this afternoon I went and bought fast food, one more reason I was out like a light. I should be racing off to the movies, but I had to come and talk to you. You’re not a curse Lady Lu but my blessing. When I woke up, the first thing I felt, after THAT, was inspired to write. She’s Good To Come Back, a looming chapter perhaps for my novella? Only now I’m beginning to lose it, didn’t I say this would be a HARD week anyway.

I’m not giving in to the stress, or will I sing, touch me in the morning? Doesn’t help I’m still listening to Dark Notes. I didn’t even get to read any of The Gargoyle today; I could have but exhaustion. I didn’t make it to the Den, I’m on my made bed, but I passed out. The things that ten more minutes of work can do to you and why did I stay that extra time. I’m not the man I want to be Lady Lu. At the moment, that man is Emeric Marceaux with his Ivory Westbrook. I’m not Dennis Hof, capable of running a cathouse. Even now, I’m not the man who talked a hot mom out of her clothes. All-day it was that if a man can’t take care of his family, what right does he have to one. Lady Lu, I would still be in hiding.

Only this life now when I Will To Be Obscene?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 250 ~I’m Not Sleepy Will~

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I do stay up way past my bedtime though, like my furry son, I am much too old to make things so simple anymore, but when my head hits the pillow, there are no ifs, and or buts, now about living… I’m Not Sleepy Will

Saturday, March 7, 2020

Log 250 ~I’m Not Sleepy Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and for One Shining Moment, I fought back sleeping. A small victory, but I’ll take it. Call it being horny, feeding on hate, or as Faith would say Hubris. Yeah, Lady Lu, I still miss playing Far Cry 5, and I’m a bit scared to pick it up again. Story of my life right, as I told Indiana Gone, Depression, but can I call it that if I know what it is right off the bat. Picking up a controller is the least of my worries; my feet, my head, my addiction, it’s like I’m toxic.

Everyone running around saying, “don’t touch your face” I know what I’m trying not to touch. Besides that, my pillow, my punches, and my passions. Again why do you think I’m still up? Yeah, I paid $20.00 to keep watching movies, and I don’t regret it, Lady Lu. Now that also goes for picking up Fast Food because I would get conked out in moments. Anger takes a lot out of you, and it’s what I feel most of the time. I’m burning out throughout the workday. Still, when it comes to accomplishing something meaningful. Well, today (Thursday), Cherry told me about one of the lines of my novella. “Some men are baptized in the blood of the battlefield.” I wish I could say I was so deep on some level and out of 7,000 plus words, which looks sad.

To be in such a state of mind Lady Lu. Do I regret any of the words I’ve written out of anger this week? I believe I will know at some point, but as for now, like sleep, I think not. Here’s another thing about sleeping; I would be dreaming at this very moment. My motivations often speak enough about living your dream. The idea is that most days are a nightmare, and that’s where the Depression comes in Lady Lu. I spend my days searching for another universe to lose myself in; today, I finished another one. Not one of mine mind you but The Five by Lily White. Now that book is going to bring “sweet” dreams of the wrong sort as always. It does beat being awake, though, but here I am trying because, as I read once, SIGH, “Hell is repetition.”

But I’m not dead yet, and I’m Not Sleepy Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 240 ~Will And The Sirens~

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Strange isn’t that I bring up the singing of Sirens when I only unclogged my ears a few days ago, and I have to keep my head full of things, or I worry, but somehow I’m having no trouble sleeping but am I resting? “Will And The Sirens”

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Log 240 ~Will And The Sirens~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what do they say of a fool and his money? Well, I’m not looking to spend any of it right this second. Tonight’s addiction (Sunday) is brought to you by The Walking Dead. Didn’t I bring up obsession a few days ago? I’ve gone mad with thoughts of the Dead. Before the humming, it was all Far Cry 5. Earlier it was Detroit: Become Human. Sad to say this evening, it was Anna Vlasova, aka Alissa Angel. As always, if you look her up, that’s your fault; also a red “bosom” dress, thank you Cherry.

With the course of my life, I have felt sway by a great many things. Nine times out of ten, there’s a girl involved. Even here and now Inspector Echo is because some girl wrecked me and yes I deserved it. Ironic, I talked about Dear Future Wife as a wrecking crew. Do you remember the year I spent writing to; well, you can look it up, but Cherry told me, “the things men pay for,” right? I wasn’t paying for anything I was only hoping for a free one and talk about an investment. How about investing in reading and writing? Inspector Echo I finished Siren by Hazel Grace, and that brings about this train of thought. My desires, this jonesing, a man’s primal instincts, and how dare I blame nature. Do I deny it? Well, I’m not reading something that feeds my “pornographic passion.” The Gargoyle, Andrew Davidson.

Only tonight, I’m not reading at all because I gave into sleep. Inspector Echo, sleep if anything holds back my FEAR if the next moment. What happened to replace Greed with Sloth. Excuse this language, but Jesus Christ, money has nothing on me, not being afraid. Now that brings up a sick “affliction,” no, not that one, or something else, but I’m talking about working the Day Job. I can’t “get it up” to help myself, but tell me I’m going to miss a day of work? Again this place has lasted closing in on three years, but the Day Job is eight years and counting. You’ve heard me talk about being FREE, of setting my course. Only I’m like a sailor being sung to, headed towards my destruction. Someone said that satisfaction is the death of desire. Let It Go; Will And The Sirens.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 188 ~Bold, Willing, And Able~

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Fortune Favors The Bold, now the first time I heard that was in “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine,” but I’m not a Trekkie exactly, a billionaire, a brave man, and yes bold, in this New Year. “Bold, Willing, And Able” yeas I AM

Sunday, January 5, 2020

Log 188 ~Bold, Willing, And Able~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, in this New Year. A time when I stand up for myself. I’m bold enough to offer pretty girls jobs. I’m capable of seeing months into the future or at least a day ahead, explaining tonight. You too, it seems, as you’re up at midnight, and we’re having this conversation. Now I know you haven’t forgotten the rule or the promise, let’s focus on the word. It’s January 5th, which is the day I set for New Year’s Resolutions. So the numbers, Eric Thomas talks about giving 120% and that will be a yearly score. 13 Women (And Only One Man In Town) or 13 Tools of The Gods in your novels. 9.3 multiplied by 13 is 120.9. Twelve months in the year but that Bill Haley song. Anyway, this year’s Resolutions:

  1. I AM Seeing My Dæmon Through Another Year
  2. I AM Writing A New York Times Bestseller
  3. I AM Making One Million Dollars
  4. I AM Writing 400 Words Everyday (Goal 120,000)
  5. I AM Visiting The Moonlite Bunny Ranch
  6. I AM Beginning To Make Investments
  7. I AM Producing An Adult Film For Sale
  8. I AM Participating In NaNoWriMo
  9. I AM In A Relationship or Sleeping With A Girl At Least Once A Month
  10. I AM Becoming Free Of Parental Oversight (Rockford, Grandma, The Car, etc.)
  11. I AM Speaking Positivity Into My Life
  12. I AM Starting Work On Life Goals “Episode 345 ~You Got Will’s Number~.”
  13. I AM Fearless Now

Of course, these are in no particular order, except #1. My child always comes first, though he’s passed out on the loveseat, wondering why his dad isn’t in bed. You wonder on Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing A Naughty Little Christmas by Lili Valente
    Failed

17.5, now you know what you want to say, but being positive, you’re on the board. It’s always about scoring, isn’t it, but come on now you’re trying to stay PG. To be fair though standing up to LP. I wouldn’t let him tell me how to live in my reality. I sound something like The Father, Far Cry 5. Anyway, these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
  6. I AM Finishing A Naughty Little Christmas by Lili Valente

Well, this ran over time, so you have to live up to it, Will. Not can you, but will you and you know how the song goes, Run Boy Run. If you sleep away the afternoon, Pinch Me, yes, the songs are coming back then you find yourself here. Okay, one more, I’m Gonna Make It; A Will And A Way, Bold, Willing, And Able.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 181 ~Peach Willing I Will~

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I’m looking at “New Year’s Week,” and I’m still a day ahead as if I can’t wait to leave this year in darkness; 2019 wasn’t so bad, so what’s more mistake, well until Tuesday of course, stupidity and fear I’m leaving. “Peach Willing I Will.”

Sunday, December 29, 2019

Log 181 ~Peach Willing I Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and we both know that’s Princess Daisy and not Peach. I also don’t mean to get all political with you today. Peach as in IMPEACHMENT, some men couldn’t be better if they tried. No Will you’re not President Trump terrible (shudders). In this stage in the game, I would be proud if you were “Clutch Nixon.” Yes, you will be playing Far Cry 5 in the new year. The question is, what else will you be doing come 2020. You’ll ask that question on January 5th if you bother to remember, right?

What will you remember about this year? In the past hour, money is a great servant but a cruel master. Ease is a greater threat than hardship. All of these sayings, coming from the “man” sitting on a loveseat “trying” not to watch Youtube. You don’t want to give in to addiction, though another potential has emailed. Gaming isn’t helping either Mass Effect or Faith Seed. So what gets you going, what gets you motivated above everything else, WOMEN. Well, that or the Dæmon who is sleeping comfortably beside you, my friend. How about money, that is of course what’s pushing you right now. You’re putting $10.00 down, and if you don’t touch that money, you’re not getting it ever. There is always your book Will. Let us not forget as always, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing The Book, That Is To Be Chosen
    Failed

You’re starting back at one point; you are alive. My fault, I know, I could finish that review today if I wanted to Will. Snow Angel, which is the book I’m reading, isn’t that long, I could complete it. Why won’t I, you ask? I’ll sit right here and blab until 5:00, and then I’ll read and get caught up on the phone. After that, I’ll play Far Cry 5 until it’s time to eat something that isn’t growing anything. I might finally answer M Anime, and then I’ll fight the addiction until bedtime. At least I’m a stickler with clocks, but the year is ending, the decade. Tomorrow won’t be better; Cherry is still sick, in search of a Monday, and what about you, Will. Picking up groceries and a box of chicken on the way to the poor house. A habit you’ll stop but first Six Impossible Things.

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
  6. I AM Finishing Snow Angel

No more putting yourself down, Peaches & Cream, Easy Street, winning; Peach Willing I Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 174 ~Will Die Another Day~

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So what a way to kick off Christmas week, if anything I might let myself get a full eight hours, I don’t remember when I got six, uninterrupted, but it hasn’t killed me yet, though if this was Far Cry 5? Will Die Another Day.

Sunday, December 22, 2019

Log 174 ~Will Die Another Day~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, because I was a millionaire last year or not. How close are you? I mean, right at this second? I wish I could say I left you in a better position. Is it ever too late to spread joy? How about to acknowledge life or to live yours? I know that once this conversation ends, you’re going right back to sleep, but why. If you had to be at the Day Job, you would hop in the shower now. During NaNoWriMo season, you would say, 5000 words. When you were hiring, you would be full of energy.

Dream, Decide, Do; set a deadline dog as the kids would say. Last night, for example, I made a plan. Okay, sure it was Far Cry 5, but I said, I would take another outpost, meet Father Jerome, and kill John Seed. I wonder, is it family-friendly if I’m talking about video game characters? Anyway, I got it done, and I didn’t make a dime. At the same time, all the Christmas gifts are going to be late. Does love have a deadline? Love that’s a big step, but that’s neither here nor there. Unless we’re talking about the Dæmon lying on your ankles. My point is, it’s all about time. You want more time, and I’m not helping. Wasting all these days. You’re following in my footsteps, or you will. The week before was something to see, but how about those Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing The Book “Accidental Santa” By Celia Aaron
    Completed

I barely completed #6, and that was yesterday. There was another NaNoWriMo shirt in the mail as well proclaiming a victory. Fifty thousand words and not one book to show for it, Will. What about the grand plan that started for only $5.00? Every week I hope that you will be a better man, but I was worse than the one last week. When was the last time half of this list got done? In all fairness, these are some big things, but do I want to go back and see when’s the last time I conquered #1 ever. Have I ever been such a father? I moved towards #3 because of a woman. #4 has become a joke. Talk about dying because that’s the only result in #5. Twenty minutes that was #6 and now these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
  6. I AM Finishing The Book, That Is To Be Chosen

Life isn’t Far Cry, quit dying; Will Die Another Day.

I Will Have No Fear