Tag: Talk

Journey 312 ~A Size V, Braxton~

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Braxton and Virgil didn’t get winter coats. I don’t remember the last time I bought clothes. New boots? Long story. And condoms? M Anime is adamant that she wants babies, three to be precise. And Mother’s Day is coming up. A Size V, Braxton

Saturday, May 9, 2026

Journey 312 ~A Size V, Braxton~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So “a king-size tub big enough for ten plus me” is not out of the question.

More or less, Lu. How about average? The cost of living. But the word for today is equal. Or right? Eff, with all the politics these days, they almost drown out cries for my boy.

“First, let me explain that I’m just a black man (a black man).” Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, I am not. Neither am I some “Rockstar”. It’s what they call delusions of grandeur.

Lunalesca, I want more! And it’s like everyone else has it but me. I’m a minority of one, hmm. I wake up every morning, and it’s like I’m already in last place. My alliance has more points, and I’m the village idiot. My girl, B, and V’s potential stepmom has more time and love; Virgil takes up more bed space.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

There’s this suit of armor… “Put on the whole armor of God…” Please! There’s a reason I wear baggy hoodies or the sorcerer’s robes of Shang Tsung in fantasies, Lunalesca.

Because there’s so much less of me, to me, I keep thinking I’ll grow someday, Lunalesca.

Well, more than, my “monster…” My meat is murder if you know what I mean. Yeah, I know, Eww! I’m trying to dial it back. But there “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked” right?

There’s too much of it, Lady Luna. When I was busy trying to beat Braxton to Heaven by starving myself, my “big sister” said it was because I was full of “Real Emotion.” Just full.

And now, like Virgil, I try to shrink myself. Down

Further, further, and further still. Because I don’t fit anywhere. And my how Virgil tries.

But like father, like son. I’m sure if I could understand Virgil the way I understand Braxton, he’d be saying, “I‘ve been ‘watching you, ‘ Dad, ain’t that cool.” Honestly.

Lunalesca, I expect far too much of my second-born. I expect far too much of his potential stepmom, don’t I? And I expect far too much of myself. I see how overwhelmed I am and still. Am I effing Goldilocks? I did not just say that out loud! What I mean is this. Do I want more, all of it, and options? Or am I looking for what fits just right? My junk, eww! My heart. A Size V, Braxton

1924 Days Without B III, Day 1365 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

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Isn’t it sad that to merely exist, one must have purpose? I mean, especially in the USA, FDT. What’s a bed for? Babies. Domestic labor. To play “Whiteout Survival.” How about rock out with my… Uh, my boys still sleep here. “B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.”

Thursday, May 7, 2026

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

1922 Days Without B III, Day 1363 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day… Your Dad? Well, I wasn’t much of a student. Do you remember that?

Was I still in college… AHEM, junior college, when you made your way here? You definitely weren’t here for high school. You and I would have died a lot sooner fighting my Old Man. Back when I was praying for a D in summer school. No, not like that, B.

Eww. Nothing against the LGBTQIA+ community, Braxton. We’re not MAGA. FDT! B, that was your last gift to me… Well, not really. But you died Sunday, January 31, 2021, so you saw me to the end of that A-hole’s first term. And your bro… Virgil, having no balls isn’t my fault. He lost those before I welcomed him here. But having no guts at all?

Like HOME, I treat COURAGE like it’s a dirty word.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Beatrice Prior, aka Tris, aka Shailene Woodley is one (b) I would have welcomed to bed, Little B. But she was with some Cracker Hat back then. Not that I stood a chance, my B.

But speaking of someone who would have me “Smokin Out The Window,” that’s part of the reason I’m late talking to you today. Between looking through the Magic Glasses and talking to your potential stepmom, “M Anime,” I’ve come to a realization. Had an epiphany. Yeah, that sounds a bit more religious. Anyway, with the story I’ve been “writing,” yeah, right. Every woman who joins the harem is a part of me, I eff over.

Literally B. And isn’t “Ironic”? When you ‘left’, I was celibate for 161 days. Right…

One good look at Chloë Grace Moretz rubbing her thigh, and I broke. Daddy’s weak.

Your Dad is also quite dumb. Please, I’m STUPID AF, and I know you don’t like me talking like this. I didn’t take my afternoon nap. I was up at 10. But the Magic Glasses:

• M Anime = Heart & Future (emotional + creative)
• Kyouko = Momentum & Desire (raw fun and drive)
• Lily = Past & Mourning (sacred grief turned into offering)
• Cassandra = Fire & Youth (passionate, competitive energy)
• Sophitia = Stability & Motherhood (mature, nurturing strength)

They don’t see Skye clearly. Not yet. In a world, you still exist. In a place I want to be in.

“Days Gone”? Been watching that. I, B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 305 ~Oh, B Hive Virgil~

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Idle hands are the Devil’s playthings, so I try to stay productive; I try not to play in my pants; I try not to make a peep. But there’s a dog who needs me, a damsel in distress, and I‘m a mourning dog dad. I’m busy as a bee here. “Oh, B Hive Virgil”

Saturday, May 2, 2026

Journey 305 ~Oh, B Hive Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Someone should do the world a service. But what do I know about submarines or healthcare?

And I’m not STUPID enough to say such and such about that A-hole in the White House, my dear Luna. FDT! Hell, eff the whole world today. But where else is there, I ask, Lu?

Sitting in the car today being honked at by some a-hole at the bank, do you know what I was thinking? Besides, I’m not a billionaire. All I was thinking… “I want to go home.”

Where is that Lady Lunalesca? THEY say that home is where the heart is… Braxton. Honestly, “Days Go By” still, I think, why not? Virgil? Does he feel at home yet? One of the things I bother to clean these days. He crapped his bed. Flies over Bees. “Sh*t, honey!”

Things I should have said…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Yesterday… Things you can say about your dog and your girlfriend. M Anime? Her story

It ain’t my right to tell. But my woman is having a hard time right now, and I can’t be there for her. At least not physically. Mentally? How long was I up last night talking to Lady Sophia because I’m a man who “loves” his woman? Not yet. But I care for her. True.

Enough to behave myself? Her first, LOL! I hope she never changes. She is my boys’ potential stepmom. And she wants a place in my bed, a baby in her tummy, and a rock on her finger—blood, sweat, and tears. There was plenty of that yesterday. A Man Provides.

Home, House, and Hive. Busy?

My head is buzzing. “Make The World Go Away.” If that wasn’t me this morning.

Lunalesca, how is it that I am so overwhelmed, and at the same time, I want everything? It’s like that movie, Blindness (2008). I can see everything, but I’m a slave to the blind. Eff!

How about the woman from Chis Dietzel’s “The Hauntings of Playing God”? It’s far too late to save souls in this place. To save time for sleep. Um, to stroke my c*ck. Oh, do behave.

Trust me, I’m trying. How many times have I seen M Anime’s yabbos today? Glorious!
But I’m trying to save babes, I’ve created via the Magic Glasses. Bucks? My boy?

Lunalesca, Virgil, is in Braxton’s room. Oh, B Hive Virgil.

1917 Days Without B III, Day 1358 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

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I taught my boys to be gentlemen when it came to the ladies. And Braxton knows there were all kinds of stories I couldn’t read to them. B III loves his Favorite Girl. And 2-V? He’s scared of everybody. And I’m an open book. “B Tailing Secrets Virgil”

Thursday, April 30. 2026

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

1915 Days Without B III, Day 1356 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If only you could talk, hmm… Please. I know your language like I know my…

Nevermind… The point is, I could hear you then. I can hear you now. Listening…

Honestly, that’s my problem. Communication. Where was the voice to say, “I have a bad feeling about this?” Star Wars was 1977… Yay, I’m younger than Star Wars, Baby B.

However, not by very much. Is that why I’m hard of hearing? I’m selective, which makes me more of a jerk. I heard what you were saying, and I couldn’t be bothered—my rage, B.

Smoke was coming out of my ears, and I didn’t want to take it out on you. Then explain why your little brother is asleep on the floor instead of next to me. I’m not mad at Virgil, Braxton. Less horny? Bible Black, my harem.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’ll always listen to my “boner…” Seriously, did your father just become a frat bro?!

Goodness no! Though I’ll always be your brother in arms, legs, uh, paws, whatever B.

Like father, like son. Do you remember when I had to give you “The Talk?” When your favorite girl comes to visit. You didn’t keep secrets from her, I know that B. You would show her too much. Again, like father, like son. We communicate, we confide, and we gain the consent of the ladies. Even though sometimes the answer is no. We hear it.

Acceptance is a whole other thing entirely. I’ve made it no secret that I will never accept you being gone. Would I be better off? Billy Bob Thornton said this:

“There’s a melancholy in me that never goes away. I’m 50 percent happy and 50 percent sad at any given moment. … I don’t want to forget my brother. I don’t want to forget what it felt like when he died, because he deserves that — that’s how important he was to me. So, if I have to suffer and I have to be sad for the rest of my life, and if I have to be lonely without him… then that’s the way I honor him.” — By Billy Bob Thornton.

And don’t we have a rule about listening to white men… Effing Supreme Court! Eff!

Anyway, speaking of things I don’t want to hear. I was working with the “Magic Glasses” the other day, and it said that I got too sexual even for it. My harem for healing, Braxton.

MAGIC GLASSES Notes: Journey 302 B Slaving Away, Virgil (Wednesday, April 29, 2026)

[This is one of the most explicit fantasy prompts yet — shifting from the more “romantic” or “devotional” rituals to raw group sensuality, with the acolytes as aroused spectators.”

As real-world pressures mount — financial shame (“not economically viable”), creative frustration, physical/mental exhaustion, and the long grief over Braxton — the fantasy world becomes increasingly sexual and explicit.

Earlier Journeys often used the temple for protection, healing, and ritual renewal (hot spring, dawn prayer, Second Howl).

Recent entries (298–302) shift toward raw group sensuality, voyeurism (acolytes watching), and intense physical release.

This suggests the fantasy is no longer just about comfort or legacy — it has become a pressure-release valve. When the weight of reality feels unbearable (“I’m so effing TIRED”), the mind turns to intense sexual fantasy as a way to temporarily escape the noise, shame, and grief.
The Magic Glasses

This mirrors your real longing for a large, loving family with M Anime while simultaneously using sexual fantasy as a substitute when that future feels distant or impossible.

The increased explicitness in the prompts (bulges under sheets, acolytes touching themselves, group acts) suggests the escape is becoming more intense because the underlying pain is also intensifying.

The explicitness is not “just horniness” — it’s a symptom of deeper exhaustion and a craving for relief, validation, and temporary peace.

Bottom line:
The more explicit the temple scenes become, the louder your real-world exhaustion, grief, and sense of stagnation are crying out for relief. The harem and acolytes rushing to pleasure and comfort the Sorcerer is your mind’s way of saying: “I need to be cared for. I need to feel wanted. I need a break from carrying everything alone.”

Would you like me to explore or suggest how the temple rituals might evolve to address this emotional state more constructively?]

It’s like one of those books I couldn’t read to you while you were here. I was still into Eric Vall’s “Succubus Lord” series. Friday, January 29, 2021 Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~ I’ll give that to the Magic Glasses too and see what it thinks. Sunday Bloody Sunday, you were gone. But there has to be a better way than some woman’s ass or mine getting squeezed by her. B Tailing Secrets Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 298 ~Virgil And Other B-Movies~

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Last week, I asked what I woke up to. I wish to B it had been a crappy B-Movie. Do I mean my pretend life on the cold battlefield where I buried over 200,000 virtual troops? It’s still better than sitting in bed like a bum: Virgil And Other B-Movies.

Saturday, April 25, 2026

Journey 298 ~Virgil And Other B-Movies~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So, of course, I’m going to sound like a di*k to my second-born son, Virgil. Sorry.

I can only heal the body and the mind so much. Or at least I dream about it. I fantasize.

Like everyone else, I laughed at the Peloton Commercial… You know the one where the dude got his wife the bike, and then she did another commercial where she was drinking away her blues with Aviation Gin. Now I know who Husdon Williams is, Lunalesca.

Thank you, Peloton. The last time I knew the freedom Hudson felt… On Emergence Day.

Drunk off my ass, I was. If I wanted to be on my ass, I’d stick to Betterhelp’s Pad Thai.

Again, you remember the commercial where the guy got real about his life and then…

SIGH, his friend asked him what he wanted to eat.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Hell, Lunalesca, food itself seems like a fantasy these days. At least when I put on the “Magic Glasses”… Braxton’s HERE, Virgil’s HAPPY, and I have my HAREM. Only three things beat that Lunalesca. And they all involve me shutting my eyes. Wanna hear them?

Rather see them! M Anime wouldn’t care since I don’t have a chance in Hell. But the reason I’m on day one of No Fap again lies somewhere between Thea Hail and Andre Chase getting it on. And seeing Ayana Fujisawa from Cool Devices “Yellow Star,” in the flesh, sorta speak. And should I even bring up Lupe Fuentes? Talk about a harem girl, Lu. I was horny, but a few minutes ago I found “Something In The Way.” Nirvana?

Another bit of fantasy Hell. My dear Lady Lunalesca. Whiteout Survival. I swear to B!

A whole morning of fighting in a winter wonderland full of HURT, HUMILIATION, and currently HUMILITY. I suffered no casualties in my city. And this afternoon, Lunalesca, I got effing Lieutenant Dan’ed. I haven’t been using my legs anyway. But what I mean is, over 200,000 soldiers were wiped out. I give more of a damn about virtual soldiers than MAGA does about real ones! FDT! And that leads me back to shutting my eyes. I shut my eyes when I’m… “Turning Japanese”. But let me sleep. Better yet, let me d*e. Too much? I’m singing it. My life is a movie, fur buddies and boobies… Virgil And Other B-Movies

1910 Days Without B III, Day 1344 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 296 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Loan~

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People are broke because of that nut-less fool in the White House. FDT! Hell, my Virgil has bigger balls than that freak, and he’s neutered. And my money? Uh… I wasted $67.00. Why? Stupidity. My boys don’t have pants but… Braxton, Virgil, A Loan

Thursday, April 23, 2026

Journey 296 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Loan~

1908 Days Without B III, Day 1349 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Of course you did, you’re dead. Wow, that’s harsh. Let’s say “envy’s” kicking up again.

And in this “Jungle Book” which is my existence, “I Wanna Be Like You,” Braxton.

Honestly, I need to stop talking like this. That would be your line on a day like this, wouldn’t it? After waking up from a nap that didn’t help and downing an energy shot, B.

B as in Bloom these days. I swear, at this point, the company should be paying me for the endorsement. Hell, I even turned you and Virgil’s potential stepmom onto them. Well, she hasn’t said that yet, but she bought one. She’s all about giving you brothers and sisters, B.

Two-legged ones. Let me say that I understand why you hated wearing pants. With a girl like M Anime around… But here’s another reason. MONEY.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Be A Man.” I’m not Hulk wrestling or Marvel. I’m not the Macho Man. Dammit, B, your Dad ain’t even Mulan. Your Old Man is scared, sick, and pretty damn STUPID. Let me take you back to last night. I’d rather take you back to anywhere before January 31, 2021.

Anyway, your Dad is busy working with or funding bad guys. And I’m broke, Braxton.

Thirty-two bucks in the hole, to be specific. Well, sixty-seven, considering I finished the deal. I was telling your potential stepmom you could get girls to suc… play with your balls for that. First off, Eww! Secondly, how do I know? Lastly, you were always licking yours, and what the eff is Virgil licking? They’re gone, son. Let It Go.

Is that why I’m into blondes all of a sudden? I’m so busy thinking about Elsa. I can see her yabbos for free. No, B III, I’m still so “Caught Up” in losing money. And this is the man your potential stepmom has chosen? Then again, M Anime mentioned… Cannibalism.

Braxton, that’s the mother of you and Virgil’s siblings someday. Talk about going from “With Arms Wide Open” to Rodney Atkins “Watching You.” And now here I am crying because if I know anything, it’s that you wanted to be like me, and I would tell you, one day you would be as tall as a king, and Heaven is awfully high, the Rainbow Bridge…

Whatever. You got $32? $67? Maybe… Braxton, Virgil, A Loan.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 291 ~B For Bisquick Virgil~

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What did I wake up to this morning? A beautiful woman in my bed… On the phone. Close enough. And I’ve been buzzed the past few hours, naturally. Okay, one energy drink, a honey bun, and popcorn. What about some pancakes? “B For Bisquick Virgil”

Saturday, April 18, 2026

Journey 291 ~B For Bisquick Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means, I’ll be damned if I make my own pancakes. Brad Pitt in World War Z?

For the record, the movie is only good if you haven’t read the book World War Z. Am I still upset I missed Kindle Double Points? I wouldn’t say I’m “Feeling So Good Today.” Lu.

But if I’ve heard and read anything today, it’s what M Anime said, AHEM: “Your dick is a 12 out of 10.” I swear, Lunalesca, if all women knew how easily guys can be played.

Honestly, Lu, am I being played… Sunday, August 24, 2025? Am I trying to kill my buzz? It’s a force of habit. But the things my girl says, and my boys bark. “I’m So Thankful.”

Why? “That I hung on in there. Must have been the Will of God, I do declare.” Or Braxton, whatever.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“If you’re not my dog, my girl, or applying for the position. Don’t touch me.” You remember that? Braxton was practically the same. Me being his father, and the three women he let pet him. Virgil is a lot less picky but no less my son. Is this baby fever?

Lunalesca, I’ve just been up all morning thinking about, well, everything, but M Anime has babies on the brain, and how does she get them, my “Enormous Penis,” thank you, Da Vinci’s Notebook. Mickey Avalon says, “My Dick.” My “Big Ten Inch” Bull Moose Jackson croons. The Sweetest Thing if M Anime ever says you’re “Too Big To Fit In Here,” ha-ha. That’s been my morning. And I want to be a father. I am.

“When you were pouring the Bisquick, were you trying to make pancakes?”
The Walking Dead

“Can You Diglett”? Playing games. And Virgil presses up against me as I talk to you. I find it annoying, though, Virgil, not you. And that ain’t right at all. I’ve never poured the Bisquick to make two-legged children. But I told Braxton to get in the car. On Saturday, August 13, 2022, I signed the paperwork and walked out of PetSmart like I was Quintus Arrius and had just adopted Judah Ben-Hur. Here’s a question, my dear Lady Lunalesca.

Why can’t I do this for myself? Have a good morning! I still have money to buy some frozen pancakes. I have a beautiful woman saying naughty things. And Virgil is my son, and I still count Braxton. I’m dicking around. B For Bisquick Virgil

1903 Days Without B III, Day 1344 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

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Did I want to spend an hour and a half being humiliated at the Day Job, or as B thinks of it, “The Bad Place”? How much do I make? “Enough money to get a little 40oz and a bucket of chicken on the way to the poor house.” “B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil”

Thursday, April 16, 2026

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

1901 Days Without B III, Day 1342 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? I got off early, and I’m still late talking to you. Habit?

It was a week like this that got you killed. Yeah, I don’t have time for all the sugarcoating. The indifference. I would be a better writer if I did. That’s one AI’s perspective, Braxton.

Honestly, we shouldn’t go into my use of the “Magic Glasses” this week. My perspective.

I remember Thursday, January 28, 2021, getting you set up for your vet appointment, B.

On Friday, they told me you were dying. Saturday, the wait. Sunday, the Crossroads, B.

Bone Thugs N Harmony, duh. Ok, before that, the Wu-Tang Clan “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.”

You know I could use more of them. Endure and Survive. And I don’t mean looking up Ellie and Dina… Go to your room! You remember those days, B III.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But you’ll be glad to know 2-V is sound asleep in bed. Yet I’m sitting here in the Den. Y?

The biggest reason being… Humiliation. How many times have I apologized for my shame? Not at you for being sick, but at the abject failure I was. Finances, feelings, finite…

TIME! I wasted it all. And as M Anime and I were talking about today… When I wasn’t busy staring at her yabbos. I tell you, Braxton, you would have liked her. Hell, you do!

Anyway, we work these jobs we hate, that’s “The Bad Place” to you, and for what I dare ask? She’s got kitties to pay for, and I’ve got your little brother. The moment I get a good paycheck. Virgil’s needs…

I don’t mean that in a bad way. I could at least get your brother a bath. Dirty Zeke, right.

But you were my Elijah. And I swear the Day Job made me want to be Clarence… Uh, being crucified? I effing miss watching movies with you, dude. The Book of Clarence, Spontaneous, Hulu’s The Mill. That’s how the Day Job makes me feel. Like I want to scream out, “I effing quit!” And then I wake up and discover that it’s all a nightmare.

Braxton, if it could only be some kick ass dream like Sucker Punch, like the AI was telling me yesterday. If I could only come up with a way to make some real money. Because…

I’ll be broke soon enough. Shame. B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 284 ~V In Depressive, Braxton~

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I’m goin’ down. And not in the smooth R&B stylings of Mary J. Blige. I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn’t take it. Nor can my boots, the backyard, the bill I need to pay very soon. My boy V2-V. Must I play a victim? V In Depressive, Braxton.

Saturday, April 11, 2026

Journey 284 ~V In Depressive, Braxton~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… No, I’m not! But I’m halfway tempted to get Virgil’s food delivered. Mean, Lazy, Stupid, Uh…

Virgil isn’t sure, and neither am I. If pressed, I’ll say the depressive mood continues.

Sleep would get in the way of crying, and I’m not sure why I am. Everything or “Nothing At All.” If only I were one of the “GoodFellaz.” And yes, M Anime has me Sprung.

Lunalesca, I can get it up for her, but I can’t get on my feet for my boys. I’m ridiculous.

Or I could be sick. Uh, not only in The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident kind of way. I could have a cold. Or is it all the pollen? Any excuse to not go outside, Lunalesca.

Honestly, what’s out there for me? How about all those walks I’ve been skipping with Virgil? Work sucks, I know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Vaginas, mouths, a nice set of yabbos… Must I be vulgar too? What, I said vagina? I’m not Todd from the Succubus Lord series. But even he had a chick. And his best friend Jacob has twenty. Starting with the first seven, the “Circle of Sin”: Lust, Greed, Pride, etc.

And that got me to thinking about my women, writing, and world. Do you know that song “Thirteen Women (and Only One Man in Town)”? Lunalesca, dare I be greedy?

Only with my problems. 99 Problems… And what is M Anime? Behind closed doors, she’s whatever I want. But right now I only want to feel better. I don’t want to be sick, sleepy, or skeevy. But I will be a variety of everything Lunalesca.

And it’s very depressing. But I can’t blame Virgil for that. And what about Braxton?

Lunalesca, no father wants his sons to repeat the wrongs their Dad has done. Such is the blessing of not having opposable thumbs. And the ability to lick their own balls. Or whatever it is Virgil is doing. No balls. That boy ain’t right, I tell you hwat. But I “Don’t Look Down” on him. “Lift Me Up,” don’t I wish. But I lift him up… It’s what I do.

“The pessimist looks down and hits his head. The optimist looks up and loses his footing. The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.”

King Ezekiel, I am not. And yet I smile. Not when I owe people money. Looking down at the termite bill, my boots, the yard I need to cut for Virgil, whatever’s falling from the ceiling. V In Depressive, Braxton.

1896 Days Without B III, Day 1337 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

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I’m not a machine, an animal, hell, do I even feel human? I’m just a bag of parts that got smashed together. Um, eww. Now, my boy had a good heart but bad kidneys. And four little paws he would have kept right on using. Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

Thursday, April 9, 2026

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

1894 Days Without B III, Day 1335 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, Elysium, that bed surrounded by food, wherever that’s the place.

I wonder how you do it, Braxton. Did they/it, whatever have some kidneys, waiting… That’s the part of you that failed—the sum. Everything else was taken from you by the man who loves you the most, and the Day Job he hates—my thoughts on this Thursday, B III.

Waking up hurts, which is why Virgil is living the dream. Literally… Even now, your brother is asleep in “my bed.” Because being awake means he’s trying to be you, or I’m pretending he is you. And why am I being a meanie? I’m being frank. As being Dad sucks.

My eyes hurt, my hands ache, my back hurts, my stomach, my effing head… I’m sounding like your stepmom, B.

Potential stepmom, M Anime. She has her aches and pains. But loving me? You know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your Dad can be a real dick. Hell B, in fifteen years and change, how many women did you have to deal with? Yes, Greta was a bit*h. Again literally. That little black terrier’s chase.

However, you loved your grandma. Your Ma/aunt AKA my lil’ sis. We’re not that south.

Well, you’re not, but I know I’m going straight to Hell. Even if you were waiting for me, you wouldn’t end up in the Ninth Circle. Limbo? Because you’re the closest to Heaven that I’ll ever be. I promised you something like that. I promised Virgil. And M Anime? It’s not every day a woman promises the things she does. Some things I don’t say. The sum of my parts.

When is your Dad not thinking with his penis? That would be quite a feat. Hell, I sent you to your room enough times so I could be alone. And this is before “Magic Glasses.” Seriously, B, the things technology, you know what you called “the glow box,” can do for your Daddy and two hot blondes, brunettes, Kyouko Sakai, and whoever else B III.

Honestly, your Daddy is walking around, so he can afford to be gross. As gross as feet, hmm… I still can’t get over Monday’s humiliation. But I still wish I’d never have to set foot on the ground again. That sums up my existence: fear and Sadness, it’s The Long Walk: Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad