Gospel 088 ~Quoth The Willing, “Chicken”~

Yesterday, I failed to heed my Ma’s advice, “Don’t shop when you’re hungry.” It’s why I had a spicy chicken sandwich and a buffalo chicken sub. I also have two chicken biscuits waiting. You are what you eat, they say. Quoth The Willing “Chicken”

Sunday, September 27, 2020

Gospel 088 ~Quoth The Willing, “Chicken”~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and just because you aren’t as well is no reason to be disappointed. Neither is the fact that you broke checking out some lesbian chick. At the very least, you know you’re not her type. Hell, you read this morning. Nowhere near enough, but you’re halfway done. Of course, you already know how the Six Impossible Things are going to look. What happened last night, of course, is all my fault. But why are we still on about birds? It’s not early.

I’m trying to lose my NIGHT OWL ways. Do yourself a favor and keep picking a proper bedtime… not that it helps. Six hours ain’t enough, seeing as how you were in bed till 5:00 AM. Even longer, if you count, playing around on your phone while trying to read. Of course, you know what that means, looking at CHICKS. There’s the succubus Alaria, to Cherry and her Mum. Now at least you were reading Succubus by A.J. Markam. If I did more of that, I wouldn’t have seen “her,” MILF Dos. I swear there was um, “A Mad Hope.” The first was for peace from up above. A DOVE? Now I don’t think you have time for poetry, but the truth is you just don’t want to write it. Now it wasn’t a peace sign. Um MILF Dos forgot to block you. Now how do you know that? It’s like failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight Always
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus by A.J. Markam

Like these things, I’m a dead DUCK if I try and talk to her. W. Anton wrote about how men are made to feel like they must earn a woman. You are having a moment knowing to do better sigh. You could give the Bangin Betty Stroker Kit a whirl if you so chose to. You could learn how to cook a TURKEY besides All The Small Things you can make somehow. How about all the time we know you’ll waste with Tony Baker videos of turkeys this week. It’s still September. You’d rather stuff a lesbian you saw online. Entertaining, choking the CHICKEN, instead of doing anything worthwhile in your life. Now that’s harsh, and who am I to talk. You don’t get awards anymore for having a nap yet still Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight Always
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus by A.J. Markam

So Fly Like An Eagle for your country is not but you hell, winning the Mockingjay; Quoth The Willing, “Chicken.”

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 209 ~Ye Of Little Will~

Things I want to believe someday, I Love You, I Need You, I Miss You, I Believe In You, hell maybe that fourth one will be the hardest, and if I can’t say it to myself, why think anyone else will, WHY — Ye Of Little Will

Saturday, January 26, 2019

Episode 209 ~Ye Of Little Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, BELIEVE, now that doesn’t sound so hard does it; considering everything I choose to have faith in, that I’ll wake up at a decent hour, maybe I’ll be done by five, or that “Negan” coming for a visit will be good.

I shouldn’t use Negan in the context of my “father” because I like Negan in a way and speaking of things I believe in; the Dead, Walkers, Zombies, the virus known as Solanum. It’s out there in development by someone or something. It wouldn’t surprise me if we had The Happening, hopefully, better made and I do believe in aliens, “Indiana Gone” told me once that Earth is the planet aliens ride by with their windows up, perhaps there’s a Covenant, watching us right now. I’ve spoken a bit about watching Far Cry 5 playthroughs. Lately, The Project At Eden’s Gate, hell Lady Luna compare that to the world we see daily, the great collapse.

Now that is the question, how does one lose faith and that is something I can answer, WHY; when I was in the A.M.E. church I began asking why and aren’t I always saying it’s the questions without answers that get you. Why are you here, when your parents don’t want you, when everybody sees you as less than a person, and when you don’t want to get out of bed in the morning no wonder people believe that there is something out there bigger.

I didn’t mean to get so dark, but there are things I wish I could believe in, I believed in Santa until I was ahem nine and then I was terrible for taking that lie away from my sister; what about God… now that’s a big subject. There’s also B III, I believe, he’ll be with me until every one of his hairs turn grey, he’ll grow a beard and I’ll be explaining to a little girl and a little boy why their big brother, my little boy, and best friend won’t come home and then my wife will find me broken. My point is everything has us looking down, we all know we’re going to die and if you want to be up, to look up, pick up your feet, see that man in the mirror, lift that pen, punch those keys, please read that story and edit Will.

For now, if you asked for my gospel Lady Lu, I am a follower of “THEY,” what did they say, mean, and do, will THEY send me to Heaven or Hell, will I want to look at the sky or lay down and die, who will THEY be tomorrow but me… Ye Of Little Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 355 ~Give A Lit Bit~

Domination 101, how much do I know and what do I believe, this might be an ongoing series considering it has nearly been a year, hell might be a book idea, but I’m talking to the wrong woman, all of them in fact. Give A Little Bit

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Lesson 355 ~Give A Lit Bit~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Can You Love Me Again after I tell you why I’m a dominant and not like Christian Grey though I am a sadist, I like hurting brunettes, but I love my mother very much and the black women I do like… Zoë Kravitz, Alicia Keys, and Amandla Stenberg before she shaved her head to name a few. Yes, I want the pain, the humiliation, anger, fight, and submission, and the ironic thing is I would never do this to the everyday person, while I loathe humanity my aunt was right and wrong about me destroying the world, that’s just dumb Diana.

Already this is more than I have time for, but unlike lovemaking, I will try and be brief and let me start there, the world has taken so much, I ration myself, I rip myself into pieces and then try to hold it together, to be an Ordinary Human. I have felt all of the above, pain and the like and while Yoda famously said fear leads to anger it can also lead to courage and with it power and where would you want that power to go… vengeance? A person wants to fight, and they say, “you want a piece of me” now not every girl I lay eyes on is love but rather “a viable romantic partner,” and she deserves far more. Indeed it demands my all, and so a submissive gives so must a dominant like me.

Why do I attract the broken and the dirty, because I see and as much as I hate this word “potential” I don’t want to change them but build them up, girls will tell you, I learn all about them, feed them, comfort them and at the same time I want the Madonna and the Whore. I’m sure Sigmund Freud, would have something to say about that but I also mentioned anger, and no I have never abused a woman, and maybe this is fucked up, but I want a woman to know exactly how I feel, the power over oneself finally taken and made desirable. I often say I want a girl that would make an incredible zombie apocalypse partner, a warrior and someone like that must know all of me, the Negan and King Ezekiel, the North to my Markus (Detroit: Become Human, my obsession), the Belle to my Beast, all that I am is yours even If Only For One Night honestly.

This is only the tip of who I am I mean, why am I into an innocent “youthful” look, why do I prefer silk, ribbons, sheets and using clothes rather than leather, ropes, and traditional restraints but I am a dominant because a girl deserves more but why with the world as a whole do I Give A Little Bit.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 262 ~WILL Rest In Pieces~

Being swept off your feet, or as the song goes “Love lift us up where we belong,” is there any wonder we aren’t all broken with all this falling and such, hearts are a lot stronger than I think but they could still lie broken. WILL Rest In Pieces yep

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Lesson 262 ~WILL Rest In Pieces~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today; sometimes I think that living for the love of you, my heart has grown so much that surely it can’t all be there and I don’t think it’s supposed to be actually.

You’re my wife, my lover, my best friend; well, the dog might have something to say about the third; anyway what you are not is the maid, though there will be days when everything has its place and others when it looks like a crime scene. Neither are you a therapist, well who knows but I will try to keep it together, the house is one thing, but as for myself, all I need is time and you, I still believe. As Chris Rock said once “Every woman on the planet’s a spy.” You will never have to piece together my love for you; you’ll know that every single day, you’ll find it my babydoll.

I see that in those pieces of me, of you, of us in the next room, maybe I do wrong my heart too much, fragments growing into full hearts all on their own and I need not worry but of course I always will because that’s my job. Love can be one great puzzle so how are any of us even to begin putting it all together, how many pieces are there in total, what have I lost along the way, yet keep it together?

A single kiss from your lips and my words are not so broken, and when I find them again I love you doesn’t seem so complicated, and it doesn’t seem big enough either but there is such peace discovered there. Even more so when I have my arms around you, how can anyone be so fragile and still be stronger than anyone I know, I want to keep you but I cannot contain you, and it feels like I might break at any moment and when I have, when I do and when I will… All Of Me as John Legend sings, and here I am trying to sweep you off your feet again, but in case I haven’t made this clear, I’m your Humpty Dumpty, and you’re my Wonderwall.

You deserve so much more my love than to stay beside a broken man but you do, and while I might never know why; one piece of me will wonder, another will try harder but someday, somehow beside you, here and now, forever, and always I WILL Rest In Pieces

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 089 ~An Ancient Willie Secret~

I go back and forth between remembering everything and trying to forget, it’s a thin line between love and hate as the song goes but for now, I just want to forget last night but when and how? “An Ancient Willie Secret”, and I forgot him too

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Lesson 089 ~An Ancient Willie Secret~

Hey Lady Lu
No fear, at least there wasn’t when I sat in “alternative” school until the police came, or the time I hadn’t eaten for three days, slowly starving myself, or even the time things were said and I discovered what she really thought of me. The art of forgetting is an ancient secret, I forget it as soon as the deed as done but after last night I could surely use it now and remind me to write it down… if I’m here.

“Sharing is caring. Privacy is theft. Secrets are lies.” ― Dave Eggers, The Circle (2013)

This is one of those times, I really have to debate what to tell you Lady Lu, we should be safe here, trust me I’m trying to rally the funds but of course, that’s not what this is about. I did something last night and I could tell you but honestly, I’m not even sure I’ll be here should I ever gather the courage… no, I’m not thinking suicide again but I could be in trouble which gets me back on topic. We talked yesterday about turning your back on the problem or whining about something while people are so much worse off than me.

So you want to know how I forget, I read until early in the morning and when I can’t keep my eyes open anymore I disappear into the sheets. I demand everything to be clean “cleanliness is next to Godliness” or so they say, it’s as if to say if my environment is clean my body, my books balanced, everything in its proper place, then perhaps my mind won’t be nearly as filthy. What about going back to Co-Ed Confidential ‘vote with your crotch’ how often have I told you I’m lost, your mind can trick you, your heart can be broken, and let’s not get started on guts but your naughty bits always know what they want, don’t they.

Remember when Playboy was as secret as it got, R.I.P. Hugh Hefner; Playboy is a way of life but we all still have secrets. Maybe, Luna, that’s how I do it every time, I reinvent myself, I have talked about hitting rock bottom but Heaven has spheres, Hell has circles and I just crash through level upon level, destroying myself so that I can keep these secrets and still stand.

So what have I learned today, it’s been nearly twelve hours since another sin, no police at the door but maybe today or tomorrow, probably might survive these days of sapphire, hell this could all be in my mind. Secrets are heavy Lady Lu and if I forget what has happened by some miracle it will still be there but I keep surviving but how, why An Ancient Willie Secret.

“So you have to care about yourself.

You don’t have to believe your life is precious, but that all life is precious.

You have to redirect those thoughts, the history that tells you otherwise.

What we’ve done, we’ve done.

We evade it by moving forward with a code to never do it again.

To make up for it.

To still accept what we were.

To accept everyone.

To protect everyone.

And in doing that, protect yourself.

To create peace.” Here’s Not Here, The Walking Dead

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 020 ~Doomsday Preppers~

Well, I made it through today and will probably survive tomorrow but the question is, do I really want to and who knows when Judgement Day will be… I do mean machines or zombies. Doomsday Preppers, somehow I’m always prepared

Friday, July 21, 2017

Lesson 020 ~Doomsday Preppers~

Hey Lu,
I told you about my five-minute theory on the end of the world right, in five minutes, the world will end and I won’t have to go to work, in five minutes this or that will happen and everything else becomes inconsequential. Braxton and I may not look like it but we’re preppers, as the expression, hope for the best, prepare for the worst but no it won’t take zombies, a purge, or the biblical flood of Noah; that’s the lesson, should remember that now.

“Judgment Day is inevitable.” Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

It’s been said that you can’t fight your biology and if you’re asking my personal opinion on the matter I think the end is more likely to come at human hands than outside influences. Strange that everything seems to push us together when the end is near, I remember being in school though during tornados and saying out loud “I’m not dying with you a**holes”. Life is too short, another saying and I spend far too much of it with people I hate, another bit of the lesson, ticks me off.

You see storms have never bothered me, I stopped looking at the stars, and zombies are an excuse to cull the herd and in all likelihood, it’s the people in the end that you can prepare for. My sister survived a tornado once, and the prospect of an asteroid doesn’t bother me, or alien invasion, it’s the people. Tell me how do you prepare for the people in the beginning, everyday Luna, how do you deal with those you’re going to see today and tomorrow and the day after that, I have no idea.

It’s not doomsday to me, it’s every day, that’s the day I can’t escape from, the day where I am judged and that’s why God doesn’t frighten me, I have more than enough judges these days. So I survive those five minutes and then what Lady Lu, I rebuild, I come back, there is nowhere to go, nothing I can do to stop the inevitable.

The world falls apart and you get by, you find a way to keep going, maybe I’m being somewhat dramatic with these days’ events. Throw in the people and you have whatever crisis you can possibly imagine and then some but okay let’s bring on some light dramatics, my friend.

A broken toaster… hell got it years ago from Publix maybe, it lasted up to this point so why should that upset me, a bit of toast before my meds or lack thereof. Possible broken car air conditioner, just something I might have to take to the shop and get fixed or I could try to be a handyman… Braxton of course always makes me feel like a negligent parent, how I stay alive is beyond me, but keeping him alive is a damn miracle, almost makes a man believe in God… I mean almost.

“This is what I hate. Strangers. Do you say ‘hi’ or do you blow their head off? Do they want to share what they got or take what you have? And if they want to take, how far are you willing to go to stop them?” – The Postman (1997)

If anything ticked me off today it was this stupid lady in Walmart pushing my groceries out of her way, did I mention how often I feel like I’m in everybody’s way. What about my dumbass general manager catching me in one of my frozen moments of my past, the jerk who wouldn’t move his arm, or those idiots who keep trying to test me? I get it, Luna, I’m not making my point that well, but with anxiety, you just want to die, and doesn’t that mean the world effectively ends, how am I to blame?

“It’s Hebrew, it’s from the Talmud. It says, “Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.” Schindler’s List

Everyday Luna, before I go to work, I tell Braxton I love him, I tell him I’ll be back, I check the locks, I front door at least a half dozen times and I stare it at before I drive away, doesn’t seem the actions of someone looking forward to the end of the world does it. It’s less I don’t want to die and more I want Braxton to live, to be safe, so I have something to come back to after I’m wrecked.

So how do I prepare for when I have to face the world, how do you prepare for your own doom when you actually have a choice in the matter? Here’s a better question how do you look at the world as it’s happening, I told you before destruction can be a beautiful pastime really.

Avoid mirrors, you’ll get more than enough of that when people see you, the only time I look in the mirror is probably right after a shower, the steam, the haze, might make it bearable. Hoodies work wonders, I actually looked up weighted blankets and I don’t know if that has anything to do with anything but even in the summer, I like to be covered, if I’m not in a hoody, then I’m usually under the covers or I really trust someone, or I did, another story for another time. Remember that you have survived worse and you will survive worse, that’s just how it goes, the key to surviving Hell is to get through and not stop and stare or wonder why you’re there, leave that to others.

“Hell is other people seeing you for who you truly are.” – The Box (2009)

More like whatever they have decided you are, and there is no changing that unless with destruction, you know how we started talking again, people saw me one way and I figured it was best not to be seen at all, so I destroyed my work there. Miss Seasons posted something else yesterday, I’m not worried but I’m also ignoring it all together, and of course, there is another “friend” I haven’t spoken to in weeks, I’m just watching the friendships, die away. Of course, I’ve watched my happiness die away so many times, I’m starting to think of it more as a virus but what is the cure, that’s what I started thinking about today that song “Love and Happiness” would lust be the opposite and I’m not exactly full of sadness.

So what I learned besides that I might be more of a survivor than a prepper, yeah I get by and I’m always ready for things to fall apart, for myself maybe. Right now I’m just glad this day, for the most part, is over and yes I’m well aware when it comes to anxiety I am only one of many in this life of Doomsday Preppers.

 

Atlas Meets Just another Girl

It’s probably much easier for Atlas and he just lets it roll off his back, probably was just as easy for her not that she ever knew and even if she did. “Atlas Meets Just another Girl”, I can’t fix the world but I’m an expert at fixing my heart…

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vmo7qfAlf1U

And if I give my eyes a break
… no, I better stay awake
For if I close my eyes, it’s easier to pretend
I’ll ever see you again
But ain’t love blind
That was my first mistake
I’m just out to find

“It” crushed, the sky descends
As even God thinks you’re so divine
Your boyfriend knows you’re fine
So I want you, easy as pie, a piece of cake

Just excuses like “I’m out of pencil lead”
All I need is the air that I breathe, but instead
Can I get a vowel, maybe even two?
All I needed was I and U
If only it wasn’t for that break in the center
Something we will never make
Well not together *sigh* whatever

Love me like you do
Which I guess, just means never
Will I put my heart back together?
Maybe it will take

until the bed frame shakes
Or heart and ache
Is broken too
Three little words too many, too few
So what if Atlas drops the world
How did my heart break?
Beautiful, powerful, not just another girl

Only you

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Babydoll a.k.a. Emily Browning… Sucker Punch, Lenny Kravitz “Again”, Five For Fighting “Superman” (It’s Not Easy)”, The Hollies “The Air That I Breathe”, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, Seether Ft. Amy Lee “Broken”, Major Lazer ft. Ellie Goulding and Tarrus Riley “Powerful”, Pete Yorn “Just Another”, and Yazoo “Only You”

Building Headboards… Harder, Higher

After you break a heart I think everything else gets easier… I wouldn’t know, I’ve never broken any girl’s heart before and of the girls that have broken my heart, well they were not just girls I suppose. Building Headboards… Harder, Higher

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXBkMCJtDOY

Wings, a halo, how far
As I see the stars in your eyes
The words you hold like cerulean skies
Because love is way up there; how bizarre
I ask forgiveness, not permission… oh my lord

To be a villain, why not the hero
How else are heroines made?
My love, dauntless, girl on fire, be not afraid
For you, I’d go from zero to hero, but I’m just a Negro
Looking at the girl I adore

Just wondering what makes my friend, my lover, my passion, my sin?
And do you love me, or would you love me again
Zero chance; no angel you’d fly out the door
Must it always be heartbreak, one or quite a few?
If only you would love me like you do
No, I’m not the one you’d take your cape off for
Every girl, deserves a man that can break headboards

But for you, for love, I would do even more…

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Victoria… Real Doll, OMC “How Bizarre”, Regina Spektor “Hero”, Chad Kroeger Ft. Josey Scott “Hero”, Enrique Iglesias “Hero”, Sia “My Love”, “Divergent” by Veronica Roth, “The Hunger Games” by Suzanne Collins, “Article 5” Kristen Simmons, Hercules (1999) “Zero To Hero”, The Contours “Do You Love Me”, John Newman “Love Me Again”, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack and “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011)”