Log 265 ~The Closed On Will~

The new rules, schedule changes, closed down signs, so much “original” writing, so what about some of my own but how late is it, and I’m sure that someone is moving the hands of the doomsday clock but still. The Closed On Will, I should be more open?

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Log 265 ~The Closed On Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so will you be getting a bigger check, a smaller one, or none at all. Let me say this if it does happen, and that’s a hell of a big IF, don’t spend it all in one place. Of course, you know what I’m talking about right. One problem with time-travel. It’s (Friday), and I could have to change everything about this, sigh more writing. I am proud of you today, considering you finished two chapters of the novella and more. While the Day Job is not operating, why not close off all your excuses, fears, and dare I say the erotica?

Don’t close your eyes yet, there is still work to do, but I doubt it will be 5000 words, what time is it again? At least you didn’t take a nap today, and of course, you know why that is right? The dang humming and there was once all the time in the world. Now you’re looking at the big clock. Keep your eyes open for the things you need to survive. You should be proud of me, seeing as how I found bottled water and toilet paper? Yeah, I still don’t get it either, but you could figure it out, gives you something to do, of course. Now speaking of toilet paper, you should probably close your mind off to what people are saying. Anyone who says, believe me, trust me, let me be honest is usually lying their butt off. One more reason you don’t talk to the Olds anymore and especially during this time of plague. Survival is possible, but here we go again. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing A Backstory For Earth Erotic’s Sales Merchandise
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella
    Failed

As of this moment, I’m looking at 2 out of 6. Cherry, once upon a time, was on me about my writing, and Earth Erotic accepted my first “story.” I took a chance and sent two chapters of my novella, and I haven’t heard from them in days. Okay, so that could be because of the Coronavirus (COVID-19). Mostly everybody is on lockdown, and I hope I’m not sick and don’t you get sick either. You have the rest of this month, well a week to change things for the better. Don’t be closed off to it, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella

Once thinking every day, it was, “five minutes and the world is going to end.” Know The Closed On Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 258 ~Don’t Scare Me, Will~

Make them remember what fear tastes like, I’m sure I heard that in a movie somewhere. So how does fear taste, soggy popcorn, more McDonald’s, that breath listening to Dark Notes? Don’t Scare Me, Will.

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Log 258 ~Don’t Scare Me, Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but will you be as scared as the rest of the 1%? The good news is I won’t be afraid for much longer (Friday). No, I don’t mean to sound morbid, I’m not suicidal. Well, tell that to McDonald’s and Regal Cinema. What I mean is, as always, this is about to be your problem. I got you here, and I can only hope you do better. How so, well as the song goes, “Be Not So Fearful.” Yeah, good luck, right?

Now, if we talked about everything you fear, well, would it end? So here I am making up new ones like getting the Coronavirus (COVID-19). You would have to deal with it, but I’m a warrior, and soon you will be, no doubt. Why have such an idea, could it be the soggy bag of popcorn at Regal, while I watched The Hunt? I had to stop eating it, and besides the lousy food, I’m not as smart as I believe. Was the movie that goofy and am I so petty that I want to complain. Should I complain about McDonald’s too? Not their fault, I’m always eating there. If anything, I should go shopping, with the way things are going these days. Best case scenario, I’ll give you something to work with but let’s hope it won’t be the same ole Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella
    Failed

At least I’m making the bed because when I climb in I get, STUPID. I know that’s such an ugly word, but aren’t all of these that I continue to sputter, week after week. I’m afraid it will remain this way forever. Speaking of which My Dæmon. He has his age and his heart, and even with medication, I saw him coughing. Notice I never say I’m the greatest father, but he takes his meds every day. He got to stay in my room all day today; he sleeps on the bed. My Firstborn got his walk, but it’s not enough, I fear. I’m a father, but I’m also a man, and why can’t I keep it in my pants? To leave you with some hope, I present an opportunity. While I was “researching” Earth Erotic, I noticed they give backstories. “Merchandise” needs it. Something new for Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Writing A Backstory For Earth Erotic’s Sales Merchandise
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella

Keep making the bed, but with these hands, stuff and thangs Don’t Scare Me, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 173 ~The Will To Betray~

I say I would never betray my son, I don’t cheat on women, and I want to be as honest I can, even to a fault as some say but while I’m trying to look into a mirror, who is it stabbing me in the back? “The Will To Betray”

Saturday, December 21, 2019

Log 173 ~The Will To Betray~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, and that’s worth a little treason. Now I don’t wish to emulate the President but for the right price? Didn’t I talk about having peace of mind last week? Instead, this week I have bought more almost, my arrogance, and anxiety. You know, in being the man that I want to be, I’m not even close. Last night I sent a message/comment to a blogger offering my services. In all fairness, it hasn’t been twenty-four hours. How about anxiety from spending money on more mom, $50.00 from a scammer. Of course, there’s also Indiana Gone’s gifts.

One of my motivations talks about sacrificing what you want. I know what I want, but every day I betray that man, and for what exactly? I rise at this “godforsaken” hour every single morning, expecting to get even more work done. On a workday I talk to you, I am almost late for the Day Job. I work for them, come back, and fall into my unmade bed, repeat. The real me sucks, but what about the virtual version. Of Mice and Men, they say, I had one plan and what happened there? Well, I’m taking the fight to John Seed because I’m sick of air travel. Namely, bullets and bombs, finding their way into my body, Far Cry 5, of course. There is one more life that depends on me, and I’m still not much of a father. My Dæmon has everything he needs, but what about more. No, I’m too concerned with maids, and let’s say charity.

I’m a businessman, or so I want to be like Hugh Hefner and Dennis Hof. No, they made choices; they gave others options. I ask everyone to forget who they are so they can fit into my narrative. Only that’s somewhat the idea, to break out. I need to start breaking out of the roles that people place on me, Lady Luna. Are these character studies any better or worse than the ones that I write of myself at times? What about the woman that I want to make happy one day? If you want me to have gratitude, that’s what it is for today. The idea that I can still believe in something like that at all. Well, l look at the time, the seconds marking my perpetual treason. Wake up, wise up, and denounce The Will To Betray.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 095 ~Will’s Choice Of Sentences~

THEY say one of our biggest enemies is indecision, I know I have to take a breath before I push that publish key or confirm payment, so many others and then so many words have to follow, after. Will’s Choice Of Sentences

Friday, October 4, 2019

Log 095 ~Will’s Choice Of Sentences~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and yes, it still sounds better than a millionaire. How about the decision between let’s say Miranda Lawson and Ashley Williams? Here’s another one, Ashley Graham vs. Fiona Belli. Yes, Lady Sophia, I blame YouTube this morning. I’m still not getting up when I want to, but I was at Walmart to pick up groceries at 7:30 AM. Didn’t somebody once say that time cost money? What do words cost? When I had an English teacher trying to make me hate writing, I’d play a little game. While defining a word, each word would be the jail sentence in years. Definition, twelve words equals twelve years.

One of the reasons, unlike the President I’m careful with words. Every single one costs time, energy, and are ingrained on brains. I saw this girl that scared the hell out of me the other day. She wore a bikini, and a job site used her picture against her employment. I can only imagine what some of my words will cost me Lady Sophia. For example, I talked about Maitland Ward the other day. Don’t get me wrong I have adopted the Ayn Rand quote about Freedom. You know I was never able to finish one of her books. Anyway, my point is those words took time off my life. I’m not mad or anything honestly, but I’m wondering which is worse. Do I want to be ignored, or do I want to have an answer? Hell, I play hopscotch with that line on the daily. I don’t have any published books, but I have had this blog for two years and three months still.

What about my search for models? I didn’t know if I should post on Craigslist. Next thing I know, I get two more potentials, and one girl was perfect. Of course, I’m a beginner, only one man, and I can’t blame her for looking elsewhere. You know how much I respect women Lady Sophia. Okay, my poetry and novels might say otherwise. I did have this idea of making my next protagonist female though. Didn’t I talk about NaNoWriMo starting soon? I write stories and can’t define words like FEAR, MAN, STUPID, UGLY, shall I continue. No, because I need to have motivation as always. I’m reading, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” now.

Time, Will’s Choice Of Sentences.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 094 ~Willing To Be Surprised~

The things that women do, hell Dennis Hof never had it easy with his business, and neither did his girls but where they found they found themselves, surprise, surprise, but what about myself? Willing To Be Surprised

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Log 094 ~Willing To Be Surprised~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, surprise, surprise. There was a time in my life when I wanted to be surprised on The Day. Yes, it’s October now, as the song goes, wake me up, when September ends. Well, you want to know what woke me up this morning? Of course, after my Firstborn’s walk and a promise of lunch. Maitland Ward, you know “Rachel” from Boy Meets World is getting naked or has according to my research. She’s doing a feature called “Drive” directed by Kayden Cross. Yes, I saw her naked too, yep porn.

One more reason I adore women, and yeah, I’m frightened somewhat. Now before you go calling me a punk, “I am not a coward,” thank you, Dale Gribble, or was that After Earth? Anyway even the great Dennis Hof said:

“To me, a woman is a goddess, and I can’t live in a godless world.”

Now I will never be a man of the “normal” faiths, but THEY talk about loving God and serving. Despite this, THEY still show surprise at “Acts of God.” So it is with women and me or even my taste. I don’t understand somethings women do, not that it’s bad. To this day I still remember when I talked MILF Dos into getting naked for me, wow. I haven’t spoken to “Okay” in ages, but she showed me a nude picture with no prompting. I could go on; the whole men and women can’t be friends theory I still hold.

Everybody remembers The Frappening. Dirty Diana, I still want to fuck Jennifer Lawrence. Another surprise this morning; what the fuck happened to Chloë Grace Moretz’s hair? The big question I should be asking is about myself? After a release, and no, I’m not getting back on Brainbuddy, I dwell on my path. Nothing has changed Dirty Diana; I’m still looking for models. One day I will own those brothels, strip club, studios, etc. Only once upon a time I was a guy merely writing poetry. I got more than enough for a lot more 100 poem compilations. What women will inspire my next erotic novel; NaNoWriMo is coming up in November. How can I be exhausted and full of energy at the same damn time?

I don’t get tired of women ever. Wasn’t I talking about being sick a day or so ago? My sex drive is too damn high, but that’s not a bad thing. Well, unless I’m talking to you, downloading TeenStarlet. Even now thinking about that “Kayden Kross Fucks In The Bathroom” scene. Oh yeah and Maitland Ward’s videos. I found Teen Topanga back in the day, of course not the actual actress but a good lookalike. Speaking of which I could go into parodies, cosplay, and everything in between, but I’m running late as is right. For once though it’s food. Only I still keep money in my wallet like the guy in “Street Blowjobs” Women SIGH Willing To Be Surprised.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 093 ~What The Health Will~

Last week I talked about living and this one I’m an obsessed zombie when I’m not out for the count, and while I’m all for flesh, I could go out and get some real food but everybody’s time is valuable, even mine. “What The Health Will.”

Wednesday, October 2, 2019

Log 093 ~What The Health Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Billionaire right now, and it’s funny that I chose a photo of Dampé The Grave Keeper last week. It’s not right of me to think or feel this way with my many motivations. Still, aren’t I allowed to feel sick, and it is my fault. See Inspector Echo; I do take responsibility. Only this doesn’t make me any less of a Scrooge. Yeah, I should shut up, we haven’t even seen Halloween. Not digging the Christmas stuff at the Day Job but the burial is underway these sick days.

Yesterday I said I wasn’t sick. Now tell that to the McChicken sandwich and fries. What about a whole mess of sour gummy bears? Again nobody’s fault but mine because in the words of Idiocracy, “I Like Money.” I also like Indiana Gone, routine, and self-harm. So where does the pain go, again I take you back to yesterday and my YouTube binge? Girls, Girls, Girls as the song goes, along with some cash. I fucked up Sunday (LANGUAGE). So am I official back to Frapping? Well, Monday I bought a subscription to TeenStarlet and got Dennis Hof’s book on Audible. I also quit BrainBuddy; what I wasn’t using it at all. If it’s not women, it’s sleep. Where has all my energy gone; back to looking up girls. Hell Inspector Echo I fell asleep in my hoodie and sweat pants, all the lights on.

Tuesday continued to be humiliation in both jobs. I still have a model to talk too. The thing is I know what’s going on next week. I have to read that other Dale Carnegie title “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.” I was so exhausted I got the wrong book from Audible. Now before I continue my self-pitying, I will say that Norton let me down. I swear if it wasn’t the Facebook hack that scared me how about Norton’s services. I learned how to unsubscribe from Brainbuddy; I can cut off Norton’s extras. All this morning I was researching that. Okay Inspector Echo, full disclosure, Money Talks Taco Muncher and Dong Diner. I’m always good with the research, aren’t I? What about other people? How many Friend requests am I ignoring this time?

Now that’s sin above all else, and I’m sorry, Inspector Echo. It’s all about their time and mine as always. Only Will What The Health?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 088 ~Pressing Matters For Will~

Not so worried about today as I am tomorrow, sort of a make or break moment and what will it lead to, more words and when those words are said, written, typed, will I be free, happy, or only stuck, so much on the way. “Pressing Matters For Will”

Friday, September 27, 2019

Log 088 ~Pressing Matters For Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but I wanna be a Billionaire as the song goes. It’s as easy as pressing a button at the Day Job today. A Revelation if you will; also it’s my favorite book in the Bible. No, I haven’t cracked open a Bible in months, maybe a year. The closest I’ve got is the “Bunny Bible” in Dennis Hof’s book. It’s quite the enlightening read but as I’ve said, pressing matters. For example, one million dollars that’s my song of choice isn’t it “If I Had $1,000,000” by the Barenaked Ladies ha.

Hell, I have the chance to see a bare naked lady tomorrow. Why is it I’m worrying more about my dream job than I do the Day Job? It’s the difference between digging a grave and breaking through the glass ceiling as “THEY” say. To quote another song, “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” I remember Chris Rock talking about being black in America. You for damn sure better be doing something positive (LANGUAGE). Something that both jobs have in common somehow. I wouldn’t say I’m doing a good thing now. Well, I wasn’t a while ago drooling over Violet Myers. It’s always research Lady Sophia. If I get a girl to do a shower scene, that means I need those pretty bottle washes. A girl’s make-up and hair will get screwed up in a nude scene. I’m learning, aren’t I?

The thing is I don’t mind worrying about such things, while on the Day Job I worry about everything. How about money, one of the managers begging me to come in tomorrow. I’m going after the Dream rather than the Day. So what was I doing going to sleep? I always feel so lazy. Didn’t I work seven hours for them but don’t want to give a moment to myself. Press a button and open a book to a great man. No, I instead continue to replay the words of people I hate. Of course, this leads me back to today because I don’t hate a million dollars. Lady Sophia, I want so much more, but I’m scared to go out there and get it, fucking comfort zone (LANGUAGE). I press pen to paper, so many buttons, my head on a pillow, but what am I saying or publishing SIGH.

Life’s Pressing Matters For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 087 ~Wil’s Gift Of Gag~

These days you have to get everything in writing and on video, but still being a black man in America, hell a man like me, somethings, it’s better to keep your mouth shut and how I try. Will’s Gift Of Gag.

Thursday, September 26, 2019

Log 087 ~Wil’s Gift Of Gag~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but should I be spreading that around? Well, I got my first model interview and how long did it take me to tell her that? What about my first model period; as the song goes “I’m begging.” Hell when I first met “Indiana Gone” I took her to a place where you can’t talk. Relax Dirty Diana, it was too the movies and speaking of which, what have I been watching these days; um research?

Yeah, I still have MILF Dos’s videos, and the greatest thing ever is hearing her moan my name. Next to that would be all the messages my Gig has received. Of course as I said, only one of those has panned out. I talked to a would-be scammer for a while remember. Three promising women have yet to get back to me at all. Me and my big mouth doesn’t go with any job nowadays. I’m still a big believer in Co-Ed Confidential’s James when he said “vote with your crotch.” All the more I understand why I do what I sometimes do? If I wasn’t on NO FAP would I still feel the same way? Like Dennis Hof, most men nut and go to sleep. He went looking for the next party. Sex keeps most of us awake right? In those hours though I instead not be talking Diana.

Again while I praise voices raised in ecstasy, you know how I value silence. Take, for example, that girl in Black Widow Vol. 2. Now that was a neat little mouth toy they gave her when she was theirs. You know it could be my fear of saying something well; STUPID. I still hate that word but what do I have to offer; idiocy makes beauty downright atrocious. Am I not down to fuck an idiot? I believe Carlos Mencia said, “if you are a D, please don’t marry a D.” Not that I’m going that far, Dirty Diana. Why don’t I be the man who likes blowjobs? Could it explain the appeal of a songstress? I still have that fantasy of a woman with her panties in her mouth. How about this, do I fear rejection so much? MILF Dos took an excellent opportunity; this model gets an interview.

I should talk to someone, don’t you think Dirty Diana? Only Will’s Gift Of Gag.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 086 ~Will For A Living~

Thinking of the could be humiliations kept me from a real one; I’m not living a past life I’m living in the what-if, and probably the best thing of all is that is what I call this existence as a father, businessman, entrepreneur? “Will For A Living.”

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Log 086 ~Will For A Living~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, but I’ll let somebody else handle the retail. For once, it would be nice to have a job where I don’t get sick every day. One where there isn’t any rage or I’m bored out of my mind. How about where I have enough to blow it on Hookers and Cocaine. I’m kidding of course Inspector Echo, but you know what isn’t a joke? Let’s see wasting most of a “Tuesday” afternoon, no. I got a message from a potential model today. Of all the things I organize in my life, women make me GASPS happy.

So yeah explain Melanie Rios, Abbey Brooks and Lane/Audrey Holiday. What about Kagney Linn Karter, Melody Parker, and that video of the girl with Uncle Harry. Hell, I wonder if he still alive; anyway Tia Monae, Cat Morris, Liz Vicious and Lizz Tayler? You know my grandfather was a P.I. Does it run in the family that’s how I’m so sure about my model? But she did fill out the form, so it wasn’t much tracking, but she’s the real deal. Now we get to the section of the story where I stumble, the return email. First I was late, still working out some kinks. Second, as always wondering; are you sure. Even if I wasn’t, this is getting in the door somewhat. Last I had two other girls and now that I know Craigslist wasn’t fucking up (LANGUAGE). Yeah, it was whatever I said.

I wish I could say I feel fantastic but notice that list of women. A miracle I’m still on NO FAP. Again it does beat going to the Day Job. Yes, one more sin imagining something worse. Oh like I’m not already a slave to my phone and tomorrow I’ll have to message to see what’s what. A job where I won’t have to feel ashamed every time I get out of bed. Where do I do most of my writing, and I’m still not at the dining room table. Didn’t even write that much today but I’m trying to stay one jump ahead. I might never write for Disney, but I have plenty of life goals. Tomorrow I could be a photographer or should I say I am, Law Of Attraction isn’t that right?

I am sorry though getting all excited, worried, and scared, but Will For A Living.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 085 ~Woman’s Will Is Complicated~

I refuse to have a woman that doesn’t know what I do, this isn’t Lord Of War; of all the “Sin Stocks” I’ve studied, weapons don’t sit well with me “says the man that wants an armory” I got a crazy little thing called love. Woman’s Will Is Complicated

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Log 085 ~Woman’s Will Is Complicated~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but not Toby from roots. Well, you know I agree with him on the “I’m never going to be a Christian man.” I’m a writer My Love, I don’t bow to gods, I create them. At the same time, I’m one for the Ghetto Gospel of Tupac. So many men to listen to, is it any wonder I chose my business. Eric Thomas says that what he does, you can’t go to school and get that. My teachers as I say often enough, Dennis Hof, Hugh Hefner have passed. Larry Flynt was shot when he started. Others have been arrested or scare me in some ways.

If I upset you don’t stress, never forget
That God isn’t finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes I go blind and let the Lord do his thang
Tupac Shakur Ghetto Gospel

Now usually I don’t like to talk about my business dealings. Yeah, I know I don’t like to talk period. Hell, I want to know what makes my Firstborn happy. I never want my kids to fear me as I do my father. Asking for your father’s blessing? SIGH, because asking his permission, wait, aren’t I a traditionalist? If I asked my father for life, well after I arrive, it would be something like Independence Day. My mother, on the other hand, she wouldn’t approve of my path at all. The thing is she would never stop me either. At least I hope so, as the song goes, be a simple kind of man. If I may play you another “I wanna know what turns you on.” Okay you know how I am with my music, how about a joke? Eve was the first woman to decide what she wanted to eat… look how that turned out. Okay, I tried.

My lifestyle is listening to women, but my life is listening to you. I want to lead my family, but like everything else, I’ll admit, I have no idea what I’m doing. Like I tell my friends all the time, I don’t want to be STUPID, and I definitely don’t want to look that way. So I refer everyone to Washington, Lincoln, Franklin. I watch some other creators. Only as my motivations would say, the power lies in taking responsibility. I do, isn’t that what I told everybody, and if you think I talk about our wedding too much? Hell, again, my business of creating what I desire and let’s say the law of attraction.

Only do you love me always, Woman’s Will Is Complicated.

I Will Have No Fear