A life worth remembering. To have lineage, a legacy, lots of money, and love… Braxton and I had each other. Never enough money, but there was love. As for ladies? Well, unlike Virgil, Braxton had “balls.” But saving his life? B Preserves It, Virgil
Tuesday, June 18, 2024
Tale 353 ~B Preserves It, Virgil~
Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I love our family. I love what I do… NOW. Virgil is alright. But my love for you, my future wife, is beyond words. But what about my… existence? Sigh.
NO! I’d rather talk about my Braxton. Surprise, surprise! My son’s been gone 1234 days. And you know what I thought about as soon as we were finished? And again, Baby Doll, I’m sorry. As Norah Jones sang, “I don’t know why I didn’t come.” Well, I do know, love.
As I was getting a towel to dry you off after… I couldn’t help but notice Braxton’s bed, untouched, and his favorite toy still in the same spot. These items hold so much of him, his essence, his DNA. It’s a bittersweet reminder, my love.
When it comes to my firstborn son, I’ve said even though I didn’t pour the Bisquick. Braxton was/is my favorite Pancake. I still have some of Braxton’s food and medications.
My love, “Had I known how to save a life.”
My love, I find myself in a constant battle. I hold onto my grief for Braxton as if it’s the only way to keep him close. But in doing so, it feels like I’m also losing my love for you. It’s a painful paradox, one that I’m trying to navigate.
I’ve been talking a lot about having “Too Much Time on My Hands.” And with the summer months, I’m thawing out even more pain. And not just mine, Baby Girl. Do you remember the book “Lust” by Ker Dukey? It was about a former football star who lost his brother. Then there’s “40 Days and 40 Nights,” about the guy and his ex-girlfriend. Oh No!
Where am I taking this?
There are also three more of my favorite books:
The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson
A Different Alchemy by Chris Dietzel
The Island by Gary Paulsen
One man is a former adult star who can no longer perform. Another runs away from the world after the loss of his son. I REALLY relate to that one. The third camps out on an island, and his “girlfriend” says he’s changing. But what do all these titles have in common? I ask you.
Men who stop performing, playing, and preserving their legacies. Sunday was Father’s Day, and I’ll say it again. Fatherhood is the epitome of Manhood. And what is mine, I ask?
Being your husband. A good father to our children, even to Virgil. But I need your understanding and support to save myself in this. Somehow, Someway! B Preserves It, Virgil
1234 Days Without B III, Day 675 of Virgil’s Arrival
B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will