There are two, a dog and a girl. I never needed to beg forgiveness or ask permission. My son B and his Aunt. Yes, I did for many things, but I mean to keep breathing. To be who I was/am. Everyone else? “Before, Forgiveness, Permission, Ask Why.”
Monday, June 20, 2022
Chronicle 354 ~Before, Forgiveness, Permission, Ask Why~
Two-Hundred and Forty-Fifth Rule
I AM a Billionaire right now, so forgiveness and permission no longer matter. At least from what I’ve seen. America! But the Why…
What is your reason, the why? You’ll have to forgive me, Madam. It’s been a long time since I’ve listened to my motivations. No wonder Sloth is quickly ha-ha becoming my favorite sin. Then again, I’m talking to you on Tuesday, June 14, 2022, Time-Traveling. Madam, I wouldn’t have the strength to speak to you today. Hell! This fucking week. Pardon my language. Now you’re not Inspector Echo. None of the people are around me. And yet I’m always sorry. Do you know what that’s like to be sorry for the mere act of existence? Dangerous words but true. But the thing I’m sorriest for is not over any person. I’m not sorry for being Braxton’s daddy, but how it ended. Being a father: why?
How many times have I said it? I told B III to get in the car, and that was that. From the new house to this place, he followed. Only day one, he was my sister’s puppy. I begged and pleaded for a dog when I was young, and nothing. My sister never uttered anything. Inevitable that a fur baby would end up in her arms. I didn’t ask; I didn’t steal. I only loved him, and I love him still. One more blessing from him never talking, my little boy. Again it goes back to existing. Do you remember that movie “Love Story?” Famous Lines. Love means never having to say you’re sorry. What about asking permission to be? Forgiveness, permission, I ask both.
But why? There are reasons I hate taking one step out of this place. There was a teacher that said I was the politest person ever. Only who the Hell was I, Madam. Then, today? I don’t know, but that goes for plenty of things. Why am I alive and Braxton isn’t? I still can’t believe he’d ask my forgiveness for not staying and permission to go away. As I know, my Little B. He was sorry that I was worried, that he wasn’t strong enough, that I cried. He wanted my permission to come back home with me. To fight, to try to B. And I know why? It’s love. Without his, I ask forgiveness and permission. It’s exhausting. Before, Forgiveness, Permission, Ask Why
505 Days Without B III
BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,