Tag: Breathe

Meditation 160 ~A Break Braxton, Virgil…~

WillLeave a comment

Ending is better than mending… Guess what I’ve been reading. Braxton wasn’t something; he was someone. Like Virgil? And he couldn’t be fixed. Virgil was “broken” in a way. And myself. My bank account. And I’m taking breaks. “A Break Braxton, Virgil…”

Sunday, December 8, 2024

Meditation 160 ~A Break Braxton, Virgil…~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And do you think you should clean it? One more thing for the to-do list. Another list…

Like another puppy? How is that working out for you? Like father, like son. Someone. Because Virgil ain’t Braxton. Oh! Why so mean this morning? It’s not like Brave New World isn’t crammed with bullies. But aren’t I a bully? Thou art a villain. But the week has only just begun, and the first question that came to mind was, Are You Happy Now? Seriously?

The last thing you need is to start fawning over one more dark-haired girl. Acting like your Stuff & Thang ain’t never seen a woman. What must Braxton’s Aunt think of you when you sent her the first three chapters of Nightmare At The Meat Market. M Anime liked the title. But what I don’t like? Failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 036, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

At least I’m back to finishing books. And you’ve finally started your end of the world, dystopia, and evil government arc. It’s like you’re living in your own literary world, right? Well, come January with Trump. Define interesting… Oh, God, oh, god, we’re all gonna die. Making the list: Brave New World, 1984, Fahrenheit 451, and It Can’t Happen Here.

Amazon still thinks you’re breaking tradition by suggesting several Christmas “Romances” and books about broken hearts over pet loss. B needed a break from you.

Inevitably, everyone does. Why look into a dog’s eyes when you can stare at Yabbos?

Before the phone “broke…” ran out of juice, whatever you saw, a yearly recap that was all Virgil’s eyes and several pairs of Yabbos. Even a video that Cherry wouldn’t appreciate… While you’re doing that, there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And you can’t seem to Break On Through To The Other Side. I broke that coffee mug yesterday. It was your phone today. And your bank account… check the refrigerator.

Hell! What about your body? Winston Smith didn’t have Soma. You have a bottle full of painkillers. If you want any advice from me… All you need is one unless you plan on joining B. And that boy deserves his retirement. As if he did. B is better than Spotify.

But what does Virgil do? Well, if you gave him a chance… Now that should go on Six Impossible Things. Only the list isn’t broken. It’s you, hi, you’re the problem, it’s you. A broken thing. Braxton tried. But you’re liberal. A Break Braxton, Virgil…

1407 Days Without B III, Day 848 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 159 ~Braxton Is History Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’ve been watching 1984 Lore and reading Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World. Amazon is telling me it’s my history to read Christmas Erotica. Did you see our next president? Braxton isn’t here to help me survive this next term. Braxton Is History Virgil.

Saturday, December 7, 2024

Meditation 159 ~Braxton Is History Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Does that mean I’m becoming more like MAGA? When I’m down, I think of my Braxton.

I’ve had my share of struggles, including moments of self-harm, largely influenced by my father. But the most intense period of me existing was when Braxton ‘passed away.’ The desire to leave because of my father was in stark contrast to the need to stay for my son. It’s ironic.

Stupidity? At the end of the day, I’m better than MAGA. Do you know why? I know my history. And yes, sometimes it sucked. Some parts make me sick. And yes, sometimes I was the skeevy one… Do you remember why I even started this blog? To share? My madness…

Lunalesca, if I recall, I was mad at some skinny brunette or trying to get her pants, whatever. It’s history. And that’s what I’ve been doing lately, studying history. Before…

The United States of America is history. Yes, I know what today is, Pearl Harbor. But more to the point, I’ve been reviewing the book, 1984. My father got me to read that, Lady Lu.

So it wasn’t all bad? The past. You wouldn’t know that from history. We’re not allowed to celebrate the triumphs that came from the tragedies. It’s like everything was perfect as long as a group of people lived in perpetual turmoil and terror of another group of people, Lunalesca. And it’s like one of my history teachers would spout relentlessly:

“History is Written by the Victors.” ― Winston Churchill? Unknown

And I always wanted to say history is written by the survivors, the breathing Lunalesca. Somehow. Someway, the truth would get out. And now I see it torn apart, Lunalesca.

History is written by the sword. It’s just another way of saying by the victor. And maybe that’s what my dream meant last night. I saw Zorro fighting Captain Love. But I couldn’t see their swords. They went back and forth, swinging their hands to and fro. But for not.

So what was the dream telling me? It was set in the past, and there was no way to move on to the future except to run the enemy through. Run away, escape. Or run into the enemy, and then what? End up with my hand in a jar. My head in another. Being history.

Only after I tell Braxton’s story. Braxton passed. Virgil’s present. And my future… I’m the victor. Braxton Is History Virgil

1406 Days Without B III, Day 847 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 153 ~Virgil, They’ll B Endings~

WillLeave a comment

It’s the 1st of Tha Month and my head is barely hanging onto my neck. It could be because I woke up early yesterday. I was busy looking for stuff to clean. Then, I laughed with my boys’ aunt. So the world didn’t end? “Virgil, They’ll B Endings.”

Sunday, December 1, 2024

Meditation 153 ~Virgil, They’ll B Endings~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And seeing how you’re standing here, I must apologize. My aunt was wrong. Me, destroying the world.

No. That’s never been my cup of tea or cappuccino. Oh, and I’m sorry I didn’t buy you any cappuccino. It was about $70.00 preparing for Braxton’s aunt. Another $46.00 on Chinese food. But hey, you’re eating right. And I had good company. The world…

Inevitably, life goes on. Or, as a great man once said, life finds a way. Not for your aunt, though. That’s a bit harsh… But isn’t that your mood right now? Trying to get laid… Honestly, no man works harder. So it is my fault that you feel so lousy. Do you want to get up and grab some painkillers? You would prefer the end with how the night ended.

Well, you’re going to lie about these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss: Losing Your Best Friend
    Failed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VOICING M Anime’s Nightmare… Nightmare At The Meat Market NEW
    Completed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 029, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 036 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Can you guess which one you’re lying on? I can give you a hint or a clue. And the answer:

I thought better of it…

But let’s focus on #1. Have you ever failed that one? And now you’re reading list is shot to Hell. It’s been decided you’re not going to read Christmas “Romances” this year. If the world ends… Excuse me, if American ends come January, there are excellent odds that it won’t be your fault. So time to read what to expect… Oh! Right, where’s your money?

I had my first movie night with Braxton’s Aunt without Braxton, so Virgil’s Aunt. Hmm? And a good time was had by all. Virgil wasn’t too embarrassing. She loves him.

NaNoWriMo’s is done. I finished 50,000 words. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 036, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So, I survived the humiliations of Black Friday. I finished 50,000 words of a book (I can never publish). The house didn’t fall down around me, Braxton and Virgil’s Aunt, and Virgil himself. And I endured No Nut November… You messed up after midnight, friend.

And yes, we agree that we will lie about that unless you decide to mess up again today. No wonder you’ve been all “religious” considering this morning. But last night

The Book of Clarence? Or was it that you dreamed of the words from dead men? Last night, waking up from messing up, you dreamed you were surrounded by dead men. The Green Ranger, Black Panther, Braxton, and others. They said you were found wanting.

What? Virgil, They’ll B Endings.

1400 Days Without B III, Day 841 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 152 ~Virgil, Let’s B Friends~

WillLeave a comment

How to Win Friends & Influence People this is not. I was more of a How to Stop Worrying and Start Living type of person. And am I doing any of that? Well, Braxton’s honorary aunt is visiting today. Hey Virgil, pick up a broom. Virgil, Let’s B Friends

Saturday, November 30, 2024

Meditation 152 ~Virgil, Let’s B Friends~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And how many times have I said it, “I’m an equal opportunity misanthropist,” But Lady Lunalesca…

You know, in REALITY, I hate myself. Or at least I’m not feeling very good about myself right now. There is so much to do and so little time. The effing battle cry that took Braxton away. I was too busy with “spears and shields” and “prepare for battle,” Lunalesca.

Lunalesca, in anything and everything I would do, B III would be right here. Indifferent, he was not. We were brothers in arms forged in fear of my father, in finding reasons to keep fighting the world and effing Yabbos. But how did Braxton and I find each other? I found him in the “Maker’s Hand.” He found me when he was long forgotten, Lu.

How to Win Friends & Influence People, indeed Lady Lunalesca.

I can’t believe I thought I read that. And speaking of my disappointment when it comes to books… Today, I’m going to fail to finish a book for tomorrow. Well, yes and no. I intend on winning NaNoWriMo. It’s the last day. But I won’t finish reading a book on loss. Or begin reading a book about the dystopia we’re about to live in. Seriously…

MSNBC ain’t no friend of mine. Morning Joe… Joe and Mika. Oh, and the stripper likes me too. Or what about God’s Favorite Princess, Women from the WWE, OnlyFans girls, models, girls from H anime, and those artists I pay for their AI creations? And how about the creations themselves? Where are my real friends? Like Virgil? Lunalesca, I’m me.

And “me” is about to host Braxton’s honorary aunt, and everything is still a meshiver. Mooning away at Cherry’s Yabbos isn’t helping. And I didn’t even wish M Anime a Happy Thanksgiving. And writing a tale worse than a Bukkake scene doesn’t win friends, Lunalesca.

I’m surprised Cherry is still talking to me. M Anime knows I’m writing. And I met Braxton’s honorary aunt through my writing. All my friends of the female persuasion, ha.

So is writing my wingman? It’s a Scrub, and Braxton was way better, though. Don’t I constantly say I didn’t get any because, like his Daddy, Braxton is/was a misanthropist.

Lunalesca, at 40, how will I make any more friends? The problem? It’s me. And yet… Virgil, Let’s B Friends.

1399 Days Without B III, Day 840 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 146 ~Virgil’s Weakness To B~

WillLeave a comment

“No place for weakness. Only the hard and strong may call themselves Spartans.” I only called myself B’s Dad. And now I’m just another guy with regards to V. A WEAK and a pathetic one at that. But to somehow survive this week. Virgil’s Weakness To B.

Sunday, November 24, 2024

Meditation 146 ~Virgil’s Weakness To B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I don’t envy you. I was about to vent about my work, but then I realized the weight of your work and the Day Job. I can only imagine how tough this week will be. Sigh

But your work? Add on the Day Job as well… At the end of the day, which you wish was today or Friday, November 29. 2024. You’ll have lived one of the worst weeks ever.

Nothing will ever be worse than the week Braxton passed away. But considering you’re only now just waking up… This week is already shaping up to be pretty effing terrible.

Oh, come on now! I’ve said plenty worse than the word, effing. I’ve been working on the novel this past week. And now it’s up to you to finish it. And again, that’s on top of you having to survive the Day Job. No wonder you woke up looking for a grave after looking for Braxton. Not, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Little Guidance: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (3)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 022, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 029 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You feel gross with having to thank MAGA for not being gross when it comes to #4. This has been the easiest and the HARDEST No Nut November ever. Sure, there have been trials, temptations, and traps. What about TRIUMPH? What, the insult comic dog?

Madness. And I’ve still been staying away from the news since the election. Weak people. Or should you say the people you’re going to meet this week? And you’re sick.

No! You write fiction. It’s other people that have ruined the country. Racist and Ra*ist. Women are a much better weakness than outright ignorance. Then again, what have you been writing lately? Or stealing? Bible Black, Saimin Seishidou, other animations…

Anything to avoid what the world is. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss: Losing Your Best Friend
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VOICING M Anime’s Nightmare… Nightmare At The Meat Market NEW
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 029, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

It’s rare that the list changes. You’re so tempted to put down, don’t wake up tomorrow morning. There is nothing in it for you. And I’m sorry I don’t have any words of encouragement for you. I can’t even give you the outline for the next chapter, though you know how the story will end. How will this week end? Other than the Humiliations Galore. But that’s an everyday occurrence. If only you could wake up with the knowledge of what awaits you. Ignorance is bliss… More like 1984. Seriously.

War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.
1984

Art imitates life. Uh, you should rethink your booklist for the holiday season. Get past Thanksgiving and Black Friday first… Be a better Man because you’re Virgil’s Weakness To B

1393 Days Without B III, Day 834 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 145 ~The Braxton Fandom, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Less is more, right? People would rather I was crying about B or complaining than V and I aren’t close rather than, well… Stealing scenes from Bible Black, Hisato Azuma, or Femme Fatales “Family Business.” My fandoms. The Braxton Fandom, Virgil.

Saturday, November 23, 2024

Meditation 145 ~The Braxton Fandom, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… No, I’m not the next president of the United States. But I’m surrounded by STUPID people.

Or so I was yesterday. And yes, Lady Lunalesca, I have looked in the mirror lately. However crying over Braxton doesn’t have my eyes all puffy. Instead, I’ve been sweating, working on Nightmare At The Meat Market. I’ve been a fan of my novel more than Braxton or Virgil. Sigh…

Chapter Sixteen: Prices Burst… Inside Of Me
Richard Thornfield whores out Sofía. The customers and girls align themselves with William. William and Sofía have sex.

  1. Told from Sofía’s POV. Sofía is forced to watch William’s sexual exploits on video by Richard Thornfield to try and break thoughts of friendship.
  2. Richard Thornfield keeps the secret that it is William who is creating the scenarios in which Sofía is used. Sofía continues to trust William.
  3. Sofía takes part in a lesbian orgy scene involving women pretending they’re witches. Some of the women are BLANK, her mother, and her sister.
  4. Several of the women, while having sex, whisper secrets to Sofía that William has a plan. Richard, sensing something, decides to take Sofía sexually.
  5. Sofía is paraded through an office building as she was during her night at the hotel. Clients have sex with Sofía but relay demands.
  6. Sofía tells William what the clients demand as he watches from the shadows and agrees with SOME of their demands. William continues escorting Sofía.
  7. William has an orgy at his home with some of the girls, including BLANK. During this, he finalizes his plan. Sofía watches it livestreamed.
  8. Sofía arrives at William’s home and sees him with BLANK again. BLANK leaves. Sofía confesses her fears to William. But wants to make love.
  9. William pulls out a remote, and Sofía runs into his arms, knowing that Richard Thornfield and Cherry can see them. William pushes the remote.
  10. William and Sofía make love after William fries all of the hidden cameras. But no one shows up to stop them from having sex.
  11. Sofía kisses William goodbye in the morning and returns to Max-Mart, knowing she’ll be punished but not caring as the guards touch her body.
  12. Cherry calls Sofía stupid for what she did with William. Cherry tells her someone worse than Richard Thornfield will attend tonight’s party and show.

Rather… The Braxton Fandom, Virgil
1392 Days Without B III, Day 833 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 139 ~Virgil, Please B Patient~

WillLeave a comment

Time is an excuse. Between making sure I don’t starve and writing? Uh… Is that what I’m calling my “novel?” It’s not fit for Pure Taboo. Then, I have my “spiritual” son. And the one that always had to wait until later. Virgil, Please B Patient

Sunday, November 17, 2024

Meditation 139 ~Virgil, Please B Patient~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Are you too busy to even look at me? You’ve written 450 words for no GOOD reason.

14 days… If you can keep going for those two weeks, then congratulations. You will have completed another NaNoWriMo, in how long? It has been quite a while. When was the last time I tried pulling an all-nighter to write? When was there ever the time? Um, better you don’t think about that. It’s better if you don’t think about a lot of things. Braxton…

Today, yours and his song were playing on your brain. Run Boy Run. It was released in 2012. The year the world was supposed to end… Sigh. But you heard it around January 2015 in the trailer for Dying Light. And in what month did Braxton Barks pass away again?

Coincidence? Virgil’s waiting for those coincidences. And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Taking the Team: An explicit hotwife group menage, Lolita Minx
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 015, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 022 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I’m sure one of these days, it will be “Love ya V, Love ya Virgil,” as it was with Braxton.

For now, though, you’ll stick with later. But you know what can’t wait until later. Democracy? Uh, Freedom? You’re still mad about Trump winning and the entire government being lost. The White House, Senate, House, and the Supreme Court. Fallen.

You can’t think about that, though, when you’re writing. You were even tempted to suspend us talking so you could write. However, you want to avoid ending up behind bars.

As I’ve been singing all this week, First let me explain that I’m just a black man (a black man). And before you tell me the next chapter of your story. There’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Little Guidance: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (3)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 022, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Chapter Eleven: Ass Kept Behind The Glass (Antonio Mateo Correa)

Antonio’s obsession with Sofía drives him mad. He begins to lose all contact with her. With her number blocked, his online account suspended, and kicked out of her store, he is at a loss of what to do. Only to realize he is on video and can be blackmailed without question. Tracking the adult video of himself back to Cherry, he stalks her instead. Upon finding her in a rather compromising situation, he begins to formulate a new plan to get to his real goal, his lady love, Sofía. Somehow, someway, she will be his.

You can see why I’m worried. But there isn’t any time to worry. Write and Love… Virgil, Please B Patient.

1386 Days Without B III, Day 827 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 138 ~Braxton, Virgil, Go Play~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t want to read, watch, or hear the news. To quote a REPUBLICAN senator, “I don’t want reality!” I haven’t since Wednesday, November 6, 2024. Hell! I haven’t since Sunday, January 31, 2021. Further? E-Day. So… fantasy? “Braxton, Virgil, Go Play”

Saturday, November 16, 2024

Meditation 138 ~Braxton, Virgil, Go Play~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Or I would be if I got my Tony Montana on… Push It To The Limit

Honestly, Lady Lunalesca… I’ve been working on my novel. If you’re wondering why I’m so late. You know, the type that I read or watch… But if I were watching, I would have to send Braxton and Virgil out of the room. I’m far too comfortable with B’s ghost. Energy?

Anyway. I haven’t had to kick out my boys because MAGA has made No Nut November far too easy. And that’s with me writing a story on Trafficking Crimes. Come now, Lunalesca, you know my favorite critic isn’t going to read this. Even if I tone down the outline/synopsis I’ve been working on for most of the morning. I am going to have to go shopping, or I’ll starve. Plus, Walmart gets funny with money.

Do you remember those earbuds that weren’t earbuds I bought the other day? I swear!

More like save that for my story. And speaking of books, I’m still debating whether to read about apocalypses, dystopias, and the world’s end. Or making Christmas babies. With all the bad news coming out of Washington D.C… Effing MAGA, I’ve been working the streaming services over time. Last night, I started watching Brave New World. I’ve read the book. And I saw this movie called Humane, which I wouldn’t be surprised if MAGA implemented. You don’t want to acknowledge climate change but (deleting) citizens…

But is my book world any better? Chapter 10’s Synopsis, Better Deal Days Are Coming:

William watches helplessly as Sofía makes love to Mr. Thornfield. William’s shoulder injury reveals to Sofía he’s The Director. Cherry teases William with her hand. William relives the night’s events that morning and debates with himself in the mirror how he will explain to Sofía his role in her occupation. Mr. Thornfield calls William to discuss ideas for more videos starring Sofía biblically. William is asked if he would like to quit. He refuses adamantly. Mr. Thornfield attempts to assuage William’s feelings with money. William and Cherry go to the bank. Cherry confesses Sofía was punished by the men in the Max-Mart restroom for William touching her during the escape from the hotel. William’s enraged. Returning home, William texts a girl for dating to forget what he’s done and will continue to do to Sofía. William’s doorbell rings, and he finds Sofía with pizza. Sofía says they need to talk.

Well, Lady Lunalesca, it was worth a shot. But my stories usually have twenty chapters, considering this is chapter ten, and NaNoWriMo has clocked me at 25,500 words. So far…

Why do I still feel so lazy and worthless? I had to turn on the heater today. We both know who’s footing that expense. What Kind of Man Would I Be if this was published.

Wealthy and able to pay my way in this world. But I send my boys away. Braxton, Virgil, Go Play

1385 Days Without B III, Day 826 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 132 ~Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around~

WillLeave a comment

My boys have been hanging around more than usual. Braxton’s “Energy” is writing a new testament come Monday with FIRSTBORN. Virgil knows I’ve been worried about the Trump Win. And even the nicest Yabbos leave me hanging. Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around.

Sunday, November 10, 2024

Meditation 132 ~Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And November won’t be so HARD for you. Seriously… In terms of No Nut November… Good Luck!

Other than that, this month has been very HARD. And “Isn’t It Ironic, with everything.

Even now, your stomach is in knots. And you are feeling pretty wired. Energy shots.

Today, it’s as if you’re hanging by a wire. That’s been me all last week. It won’t be getting any better. Everything went downhill when you put your pants on. More like the moment you wake up. Why didn’t you hang around in bed as I have been doing? Mourning…

You’re asking yourself what have I roped you into. It’s less than Braxton’s passing away.

Though you still feel it’s all your fault from a very good dad to a voter and now a villain.

Donald J Trump will be president. Your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Jack McAfghan: Pawprints from Heaven
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 015 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

None of it is going away as fast as your “Stuff & Thang” in your pants. The last time you felt anything “down there,” you had just finished your book for the week. You’re lazy…

“Taking The Team.” And before that, there was “Polly & Her Neighbor.” Come on, man! And both of those were right after Jack McAfghan and his human Kate McGahan’s book.

When it comes to the lewd reads, you can think worse. For example, there’s “Karen.”

Do you see that? Do you see her? You would be all Bad to the Bone. However, Virgil is still lying here. He’s been hanging out a lot like B III’s… Spirit, Ghost, Energy, Whatever.

Everything’s hanging like the sword of Damocles. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Taking the Team: An explicit hotwife group menage, Lolita Minx
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 015, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So you’re looking for something HARD to plant under your feet. Is it not HARD enough being a black man in the heart of Trump’s country? Trump nation come January…

That’s why I called Braxton back. You’ll hear his voice come Monday morning. But he’s…

You know, you know, but are you saying, “Give me something to believe in?” I swear I was talking to Braxton the other day. And how he says he speaks to you like Bumblebee’s radio. How do these songs pop into your head like something out of Limitless? You know?

Beats the snapping of a neck… Choking? Virgil’s whining at a closed-door… Or you moaning anytime you pull your pants down at a pair of Yabbos. Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around

1379 Days Without B III, Day 820 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 131 ~Braxton And Virgil Rage~

WillLeave a comment

My son, B III, died on Sunday, January 31, 2021. His last great act was to see me through a Trump Presidency, COVID, and life. Now come January 2025. I see another on the horizon, and I don’t blame Virgil. I blame people. Me, Braxton And Virgil Rage.

Saturday, November 9, 2024

Meditation 131 ~Braxton And Virgil Rage~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And I am still angry. At what? I woke up late again. Grayson “cheated” on Robin.

Not really! I’ve read every Satan’s Sorority Girls title so far. Grayson is more popular than Lou Bega in “Mambo No. 5.” Robin, Julia, Tasha, Fiona, Chrissy, who’s next, Lunalesca?

Who’s next? What’s next? Donald J Trump. And that Lady Lunalesca is why I’m angry. I’m in a rage. And when I’m not burning, my blood runs cold. I’ve looked at my “special” drawer on multiple occasions. The cold steel. But I got Virgil to raise. And Braxton to mourn.

Though the tears I have shed this week have been for my country. And for the loss of Madam Justice, both figuratively and literally. I’ve started “my” FIRSTBORN series. This will be Braxton speaking through me. Braxton saw me through Trump’s first term. Apocalypse Buddy.

And the reason I will be seeing the ninth circle of Hell. Soon… The Ninth Circle is Treachery and Betrayal… Of my brother, I am guilty. Of my country, well, I did fail her, so I’m guilty. Of my God? I knelt to no one other than my son B. And beautiful women, way back.

Being Braxton’s father required sacrifice… But I have always quoted I am an equal opportunity misanthropist. And while I hate myself most of all, Lunalesca. People have been driving me mad since Election Day. And I dare compare it to the day my Braxton passed away. And this is the conclusion I have drawn. “Are you getting a new dog?”

“… but the truth is that I dislike most men as much as I dislike women. If anything, I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.” ― from Andrew Davidson’s The Gargoyle

Braxton’s body was still warm, and “my father” asked that.

Talk about hatred and stupidity. “My father” can call me STUPID all he likes and threaten me with slavery and death, but to spit on my son’s life like that… But as Anne Frank said:

“Despite everything, I believe people are really good at heart.”

And that’s what hurt the most. I watched the world continue after my son died, and I thought that it was a good place and “my” pain was “my” own. And that was that, Luna.

Now, nearly four years later, I see that the world ain’t worth nothing. People feel about America like my father did about “my” son. The fear, hatred, and stupidity. Sickening!

Lunalesca as Greta Thunberg put it: HOW DARE YOU! And it leaves me with nothing but rage. Yet I wonder how Braxton And Virgil Rage.

1378 Days Without B III, Day 819 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will