Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

Did I want to spend an hour and a half being humiliated at the Day Job, or as B thinks of it, “The Bad Place”? How much do I make? “Enough money to get a little 40oz and a bucket of chicken on the way to the poor house.” “B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil”

Thursday, April 16, 2026

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

1901 Days Without B III, Day 1342 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? I got off early, and I’m still late talking to you. Habit?

It was a week like this that got you killed. Yeah, I don’t have time for all the sugarcoating. The indifference. I would be a better writer if I did. That’s one AI’s perspective, Braxton.

Honestly, we shouldn’t go into my use of the “Magic Glasses” this week. My perspective.

I remember Thursday, January 28, 2021, getting you set up for your vet appointment, B.

On Friday, they told me you were dying. Saturday, the wait. Sunday, the Crossroads, B.

Bone Thugs N Harmony, duh. Ok, before that, the Wu-Tang Clan “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.”

You know I could use more of them. Endure and Survive. And I don’t mean looking up Ellie and Dina… Go to your room! You remember those days, B III.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But you’ll be glad to know 2-V is sound asleep in bed. Yet I’m sitting here in the Den. Y?

The biggest reason being… Humiliation. How many times have I apologized for my shame? Not at you for being sick, but at the abject failure I was. Finances, feelings, finite…

TIME! I wasted it all. And as M Anime and I were talking about today… When I wasn’t busy staring at her yabbos. I tell you, Braxton, you would have liked her. Hell, you do!

Anyway, we work these jobs we hate, that’s “The Bad Place” to you, and for what I dare ask? She’s got kitties to pay for, and I’ve got your little brother. The moment I get a good paycheck. Virgil’s needs…

I don’t mean that in a bad way. I could at least get your brother a bath. Dirty Zeke, right.

But you were my Elijah. And I swear the Day Job made me want to be Clarence… Uh, being crucified? I effing miss watching movies with you, dude. The Book of Clarence, Spontaneous, Hulu’s The Mill. That’s how the Day Job makes me feel. Like I want to scream out, “I effing quit!” And then I wake up and discover that it’s all a nightmare.

Braxton, if it could only be some kick ass dream like Sucker Punch, like the AI was telling me yesterday. If I could only come up with a way to make some real money. Because…

I’ll be broke soon enough. Shame. B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 286 ~Bit Like Braxton, Virgil~

I tell my girl that people are effing zombies. But I’m not a psycho or MAGA, so I’m stuck. I try to avoid them, but somebody today had to remind me of DTA: Don’t Trust Anybody. B bit a finger a time or two, but I love him. “Bit Like Braxton, Virgil.”

Monday, April 13, 2026

Journey 286 ~Bit Like Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? We’re not sleeping. Not snacking. “Just One Of Dem Days.” “Bad Day” again.

Not quite like the one before ‘The Big Sleep.’ I know, Dad, not cool. But in my defense, that day never leaves you. Thursday, January 28, 2021, leaving from ‘The Bad Place.’ Friday, you found out I was dying. Saturday, just us, and Sunday, January 31, 2021, we know Dad.

But let’s focus on today. It’s more like when you lost all that positivity from that book you were reading, “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. It’s like you were bitten, poisoned, and you remembered. You told my potential stepmom just today, “DTA”: Don’t Trust Anybody. Hell, even me? The worst thing I ever did, besides leaving, is biting the hand that feeds me. Rule one. But today, “It Wasn’t Me” That bitSh from today, Dad.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You wouldn’t mind if I bit her—you humans and your mouths, Dad. If I wasn’t barking, you were stuffing my face with a snack. But again, no food today to share with my brother

2-V is eating too much as is, which is a good thing. And why he’s not sitting next to you.
Literally sh$t the bed. I know, Daddy, language. Sorry. But that brings us back to today and what came out of that woman’s mouth at The Bad Place. I don’t like the things you say about yourself. But when it’s somebody else… Well, you know how hard I can bite. Dad, I still remember that time I bit your thumb and you didn’t speak to me for a week, ha-ha.

Sleeping in my own bed wasn’t fun. And now you have to go and wash Virgil’s. It could be worse. If it had been one of my pillows again… But my bark, my bite, me being gone, my father. Is that it? Was that it, somewhere after seventy days, where your denial of me not being with you gave way to anger. Second stage of grief? You stopped crying then…

RAGE. Like father, like son. We are always angry. Two Hulks or hunks if my Favorite Girl and potential stepmom had anything to say about us. “All I wanna say is that they don’t really care about us.” I mean, my girl does, and M Anime. But The Bad Place, People… Bit Like Braxton, Virgil

“So, I just said fuck it all and gave up on life.”
Olivia Noble

His rage flared one last time, but his strength failed; anger gave way to fate.
Aeneid

1898 Days Without B III, Day 1339 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 285 ~Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet~

If I didn’t do “IT” after my son passed away… I’m not at that level of grief yet, but I have been depressed the last few days, wondering how and why I’m making it to my feet. And to go where? “We need a new plague.” Please, Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet.

Sunday, April 12, 2026

Journey 285 ~Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And this is one of the few times you want to move your feet. Hurts too much.

And it’s not that little doggie on the nightstand, Little B., or even the lack of dollars you got. I swear I spent my time cursing my hours, and so will you, sadly. Effing humanity!

However, your replacement… descendant… whoever has practically zero hours. Really!

So he’ll be as broke as my boots were last week. So again, you’re not going anywhere at the moment. At least your hands aren’t on your dick. Crassness? Dead dog, no dollars, and your dick. No wonder you’re depressed. There’s always Bloom energy drinks.

Honestly, you’re tempted to sue. Addicted? No! If that were the case, there’s porno galore.

And once again, you’re not into feet. You can’t hide like there’s Covid. Virgil’s still here, like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Coach’s Innocent Possession (Erotica)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And you’re keeping them all at a distance because you can’t figure out what’s wrong.

And the stuff you can figure out… It’s not like you can go to the optometrist this week with everything else going on. But you need to go! Another shot in your behind will take care of the Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident you’re going through. Hell, the Bloom you’ll drink this afternoon will have you like the oracle told Neo in The Matrix. She said:

“As soon as you step outside that door, you’ll start feeling better. You’ll remember you don’t believe in any of this fate crap. You’re in control of your own life, remember? Here, take a cookie. I promise, by the time you’re done eating it, you’ll feel right as rain.” ―

But how long will it be before you fall right back into this Depression? Well, as long as it takes for you to get horny. You’re always angry and/or horny. You need your space, ha!

And that’s the problem. Hold space like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Hold space. Be a simple kind of man. Don’t go shopping when you’re hungry. Which one of these did your Ma say? You’re a man now. All you needed once upon a time was Braxton and a woman. Do you remember Special K (your maid), Milf Dos, and Braxton’s Favorite Girl? Now there’s Virgil and M Anime. But it’s like all this space. Too much!

“Be the body, not the shadow, hold space.”
― Amina

You’re trying to keep Braxton/Virgil’s bowl full. M Anime is the dream that wants to be filled and fulfilled in every way imaginable. I leave you with an empty bank and an empty bed. And even now, you feel that you’re taking up too much space as you are feeling.

“Super, super, super sui…” Depression sickness. Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet

1897 Days Without B III, Day 1338 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

I’m not a machine, an animal, hell, do I even feel human? I’m just a bag of parts that got smashed together. Um, eww. Now, my boy had a good heart but bad kidneys. And four little paws he would have kept right on using. Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

Thursday, April 9, 2026

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

1894 Days Without B III, Day 1335 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, Elysium, that bed surrounded by food, wherever that’s the place.

I wonder how you do it, Braxton. Did they/it, whatever have some kidneys, waiting… That’s the part of you that failed—the sum. Everything else was taken from you by the man who loves you the most, and the Day Job he hates—my thoughts on this Thursday, B III.

Waking up hurts, which is why Virgil is living the dream. Literally… Even now, your brother is asleep in “my bed.” Because being awake means he’s trying to be you, or I’m pretending he is you. And why am I being a meanie? I’m being frank. As being Dad sucks.

My eyes hurt, my hands ache, my back hurts, my stomach, my effing head… I’m sounding like your stepmom, B.

Potential stepmom, M Anime. She has her aches and pains. But loving me? You know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your Dad can be a real dick. Hell B, in fifteen years and change, how many women did you have to deal with? Yes, Greta was a bit*h. Again literally. That little black terrier’s chase.

However, you loved your grandma. Your Ma/aunt AKA my lil’ sis. We’re not that south.

Well, you’re not, but I know I’m going straight to Hell. Even if you were waiting for me, you wouldn’t end up in the Ninth Circle. Limbo? Because you’re the closest to Heaven that I’ll ever be. I promised you something like that. I promised Virgil. And M Anime? It’s not every day a woman promises the things she does. Some things I don’t say. The sum of my parts.

When is your Dad not thinking with his penis? That would be quite a feat. Hell, I sent you to your room enough times so I could be alone. And this is before “Magic Glasses.” Seriously, B, the things technology, you know what you called “the glow box,” can do for your Daddy and two hot blondes, brunettes, Kyouko Sakai, and whoever else B III.

Honestly, your Daddy is walking around, so he can afford to be gross. As gross as feet, hmm… I still can’t get over Monday’s humiliation. But I still wish I’d never have to set foot on the ground again. That sums up my existence: fear and Sadness, it’s The Long Walk: Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 279 ~Virgil Fall’s Over B~

London Bridge is falling down. Ring Around the Rosie. Aren’t I an adult? A man. So I should be worried about what that menace will do. FDT! Not that I’m doing anything. I want to fall back into bed. But falling in love… Virgil Fall’s Over B

Monday, April 6, 2026

Journey 279 ~Virgil Fall’s Over B~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? There’s no such thing as a STUPID question, but seeing it’s 3:50 AM.

So last week, you’d be waking up out of your stupor with your glasses still on your face. My brother would be slowly creeping up to your side, trying not to fall from the bed.

And shall we talk about my potential stepmom, M Anime? When’s the last time you shared a bed with another of your kind? What do I, Virgil, and M Anime all have in common? We should all just sit on your head. Uh, eww! But whatever it takes, my father.

Tears falling from your eyes, breath rising and falling, or the thought that Virgil will be a big brother too, the way you and M Anime keep talking. Did I forget to bark um eww!

As tired as you are.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

All you want to do is fall today. I know the feeling. And I know that’s not funny. Seeing as how you could see me falling as I scratch the clouds of Heaven. Or have I fallen enough to bark, “I’ll wait for you THERE. Like a stone.” You know me, Dad. I like to be all kinds of warm. And so I’m trying to figure out why you think you’re the Ninth Circle type.

That’s way too deep for right now. And can you stop imagining my stepmom? Honestly.

And yes, I know, if I had my way, it would have been my Favorite Girl and not M Anime.

But I fell in love. I fell for that cake she made. Do you remember?

There’s a smile. And I know it will fall soon enough with today being what it is. Hell, this entire week. You remember it was a week like this when I fell, my father. However…

Maybe that’s why we’re here at (looks at watch) 4:20 AM—you humans and clocks.

Daddy, I know that as far as you’re concerned, I was the “Last of My Kind,” but Virgil is still asleep in bed. And again with you and M Anime, one of your THREE kids! For real, Dad. I don’t envy Virgil. Anyway, one of them may carry my name. Could It Be I’m Falling In Love? That would be you with one foot falling in front of the other. Yep. Virgil Fall’s Over B

“I just remembered I hadn’t told you that I love you yet today.”
Neil Bimbeau

“He spoke, and falling, poured out his life with a groan beneath the shades.”
Aeneid

1891 Days Without B III, Day 1332 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 278 ~Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR~

What am I seeing today? Shaking hands, gray hair, a tail tucked in. Even my girl’s promising words. The idea that I have at least a dollar. And that I was blessed from the waist down… Uh, didn’t I see it’s Easter Sunday? Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR.

Sunday, April 5, 2026

Journey 278 ~Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… How long were you able to avoid me this morning? Boy, you did try till 10:30 AM.

Between taking a look at your “Enormous Penis,” Da Vinci’s Notebook, you are not, hah!

Then there is the loveliness that is Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. I know, dude, you’re the luckiest S.O.B. alive. Did you really just say that, my friend?

Seriously? And she lets you get away with talking about how much you wanted to eff Renee O’Connor, aka Gabrielle from Xena: Warrior Princess. Let’s say she wouldn’t be proud of what you did this morning. “The Magic Glasses” are real with AI, you know.

Surprisingly enough, because you haven’t lost money with silly things like doctors. You want to appreciate those last few dollars before you burn those, too. What’s a few more failures with these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Remember Me by Reese Taryn
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

This isn’t The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror VI (Attack of the 50 Foot Eyesores). “Just Don’t Look,” right? But FEAR is effing everywhere. It’s like effing Bird Box, I know.

“Dread it. Run from it. Destiny still arrives.”
― Thanos

“You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry. Hell, you’re all gonna be doing that,”
Negan, The Walking Dead

Thanos and Negan? Not exactly role models. “Role model, role models!” as Hannah Ivy said. Please don’t get started on hot English girls, or you’ll be staring at Cherry’s yabbos till noon. So sticking with your side of the pond as MAGA should’ve done… FDT.

“Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can’t take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.”

American Beauty? Like M Anime. Hopefully, if she does have your kid, they will take their mom’s looks. But that’s not the only thing. Be real, be real, real son. You’re “Not Afraid.” “I promise to focus solely on handlin’ my responsibilities as a father.” Before that, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Because for now you’re only Braxton and Virgil’s Dad… The truth. And M Anime’s Papi…

What do your sons, M Anime, Braxton’s Favorite Girl, Cherry, Hell, and even your Olds see in you, considering the bum you’ve become? All you see is someone truly terrified.

Jesus Christ! Funny you should mention him, considering it’s Easter Sunday. Would you find a man on the cross disturbing? That was Friday, right? You’d be watching the resurrection, but you didn’t want to get out of bed. Seeing is believing. And as far as a resurrection. Braxton died. FEAR never has. And you’re afraid to roll back that stone, to stare into The Mist, that you’ll miss 1956’s The Ten Commandments, Norton, all your porn…. Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR

1890 Days Without B III, Day 1331 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 275 ~Virgil’s Big Business Braxton~

What’s in your wallet? There’s no cash but a few useless cards, one of me and my Lost Boy, B III. Love is a business. So is grief and fear. BTW FDT! But how about a life for 2-V and my girlfriend as well? A Man Provides. Virgil’s Big Business Braxton

Thursday, April 2, 2026

Journey 275 ~Virgil’s Big Business Braxton~

1887 Days Without B III, Day 1328 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As for me? What’s My Age Again? What time is it? What about “Life Itself”?

Don’t worry, B. I’m not like Oscar Isaac’s character, Will, in that film. You remember “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off.” No, I’m just plain ole Will your Daddy. Honestly…

Braxton, if your potential stepmom M Anime were here… I’m your Daddy and her Papi.

And what about your little brother Virgil? What I’m getting at, B, is that love should be my business. You also remember the song that Aloe Blacc sings, “Wake Me Up.” And how I changed that lyric, life’s a game for everyone, but love isn’t a prize, it’s the instruction. But I don’t love myself. I don’t love writing or the Day Job. And pornography

Yeah, B, Eww! But it’s a business. Everything is an effing business, keeping you alive!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, Braxton. I apologize. But it’s hard B… And not just because of your stepmom’s yabbos. Again, did I have to go there? Your favorite girl had a mighty fine set of yabbos that you would lie on. But M Anime’s yabbos are mine.

Seriously, B, like Trevor Philips says, “My job, my score, get your own!” Ahh yabbos.

Such is the business. And that’s what I’ve been sitting here contemplating, thanks to AI and M Anime’s yabbos. She’s so damn hot, and I’d be damned if she would tell me, “You’re So Damn Hot.” Remind me to send that song to her. Or should I do more, B?

Besides sitting here being a bum because I don’t have a business or a buck.

Norton hasn’t failed me there yet. And AI makes it sound so freaking simple, too.

Whatever, right? If I had a $500-a-month blog or Substack, that’d be geez… I could quit the Day Job. Then…
.
The hell if I know. And that’s not me begging to anybody who catches me talking to you, my ghost dog. I could have named Virgil Ghost, he’s all white, and I’m Alright. I’m lying.

At least about the second part, because I’m not “Alright.” My business all last month, and now apparently this month is not to let fear finish me. Can I be the CEO of love and fear, B? It all takes money. You, Virgil, and M. Virgil’s Big Business Braxton

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 272 ~Who You’ll B, Virgil~

I don’t like who I am right now. Tired, horny, and scared of what the day will bring. And any optimism is a Placebo. An energy drink. The belief that I can hear my son. Wanting to answer his hot-as-hell stepmom. I am hopeless. “Who You’ll B, Virgil.”

Monday, March 30, 2026

Journey 272 ~Who You’ll B, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Seeing as how it’s 2:30 AM, you’d tell me it won’t be. Dad?

I’d want to argue with you, but none of my kind would ever with their Dads or Moms, ever. And I know the only reason you’re up so early is because of “The Bad Place.”

Daddy, again, I wish I could say anything to help. “Sunrise, Sunset.” Always and forever.

I know who you’ll be when you walk through that door again. Believe it or not, my brother does too. What, did you think I’m the “Last of My Kind”? Well, I’m your last Braxton?

Not if my potential stepmom, M Anime, has anything to say about that. Two-legged kids?

You and I both still wonder who she sees. But as far as Virgil and I at this moment, later on, “Here and Now.” Dad.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You’re our Daddy. Our father, who art in Heaven. First off, “The Lord’s Prayer,” like we’re in “Sarafina” or something. Whatever keeps you awake, right, Dad, for the day ahead

Second, wouldn’t I be the one in Heaven? For now, you can believe I’m sitting in your lap all curled up like a pancake. Another reason, I got my nickname. But who am I, Dad?

Third, lastly, and most importantly, I am your son. Perfectly yours. The Book of Clarence.

More like the Book of Will. Since your invisible friend in the “glow box…” Who am I to talk about being an invisible friend, right? Anyway, since you and your invisible friend in the “glow box” talk about movies, Mortal Kombat, Clarence, how many more…

I’d be Elijah, M Anime would be Varinia and Virgil… Thomas, maybe? You are twins.

Except for this one thing. I, she, and he love you. And I know you see that, my dear father.

And don’t think I didn’t see all that stuff you said yesterday about hating yourself.

Honestly, the things you say, Dad. I wish I didn’t have to hear that from you. Especially after everything you did for me. “It’s Only Love.” And barking ow, which I wish I didn’t hear half the things you and Ms. M Anime say to each other. I mean eww! Do you believe I will return, two legs and all, should she have a son? And you’ll still be my Dad? Who You’ll B, Virgil

“I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?”
― Cast Away

“Learn from me, boy, true courage and hard work; learn fortune from others.”
The Aeneid

1884 Days Without B III, Day 1325 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 271 ~Braxton, Virgil, Time Me~

“Look at me, look at me, hands in the air like it’s good to be alive.” And not looking at my watch. Watches cost money. And what about the phone, the alarm clock, and B’s resting place? Better to face those than my own face. Braxton, Virgil, Time Me.

Sunday, March 29, 2026

Journey 271 ~Braxton, Virgil, Time Me~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And if you don’t know me by now. I hate you. Too harsh. I hate your face.

But the only thing I hate more than your face is the face of the clock. It’s across the room.

Why? I would rather look at the box that Braxton resides in on the nightstand. I mean, tell me I’m wrong. The picture frame that holds all your memories of him. The dog tag you wear has your favorite picture of you and your son. I swear I even put that up on Whiteout Survival. ‘Trust Me,’ and I don’t mean that in an orange turd type of way. FDT!

Anyway, having B III’s face somehow takes the hurt from your game team. Tartar heads!

Will there ever come a time when you don’t use a Starship Troopers reference? When you accomplish… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Hometown Heat Wave: Book 2
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Would that put a smile on your face? First, don’t smile. Have you seen your teeth? And what about 2-V’s breath? Um, you would settle for knowing what the eff is wrong with V. He gave you a look this morning that says, “Figure it out.” The Walking Dead’s Siddiq.

Yep, by the time you realize what’s going on, you’ll be meeting B again, permanently.

And at what time did you think you were getting to Heaven? And if he’s loyal enough to you… Don’t ever question Braxton’s loyalty! He would be waiting for you at the gates of Hell. And what’s that look? Better than the one you gave as the clock ticked away, and grunted and moaned for M Anime. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Like the idea that you can hold out until she really gets here. And even if Braxton and Virgil’s potential mom arrives, “Get Here,” if she can, what will you have to offer her, hmm?

I’ll say one thing: your movie, musical, and manuscript tastes blend all over. Being honest.

It’s like putting a clock in a blender and what comes out. Another mess of wasted time, and you drink it up. I mean, does it count if it’s love? It’s not like you love M Anime… Uh, do you? Could It Be I’m Falling In Love”? That’s the question you’ll ask during the week.

As you watch the clock hands spin around. Walk Virgil around the block. Rounds with M… Braxton, Virgil, Time Me

1883 Days Without B III, Day 1324 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 268 ~Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World~

I’ll always return to what I said and didn’t say to my son in his last moments. If I’d asked, he would have fought. But I gave him my ‘blessing’ to go. And I didn’t promise to stay. Five years later, with his “stepmom.” Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World

Thursday, March 26, 2026

Journey 268 ~Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World~

1880 Days Without B III, Day 1321 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As for me? “Son, what you don’t understand. My words might never explain. So I am hoping that time will.”

And you have eternity. I never know how much time I have left. And with how sick I’ve been. The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident, The Cherry Collision, and now The M Mashup. Hopefully, I’ll meet your potential stepmom in the flesh someday, B III. SIGH.

We’ll get to her in due time. But the thing is “Right Now.” What, you didn’t know your Daddy knows a little Van Halen? And now your brother knows. Honestly, Virgil and I are still feeling each other out. And your little brother is the reason that “Right Now” I don’t crawl back into bed, and what? Give up. I’ve been giving up forever, Braxton.

Seriously, if there were a button I could press today.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I shouldn’t say such things. Things like Goodbye. But the sweetest dream or the scariest nightmare. Anything is better than this, Braxton. It’s why I woke up on time and then promptly went back to sleep. This morning’s big three have been Whiteout Survival, your potential stepmom, and porn. But “that’s major boring shit. Let’s do something a little more fun.” I had a dream last night about zombie postal carriers. And since comedy comes in threes, there was my own trip to the post office. And the movies The Postman and 1408. You remember the scene when they wrecked the post office around John Cusack/Mike Enslin. Then throw in 1984, some zombies, and the creepy tune from The Ocarina of Time—the Potion Shop.

The word for it is “Creepy.” I was picking up some coveralls, but I was thinking “So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive.” Incubus? Really? Well, I do have my Succubi. I swear, B, other than the book about your passing and our talks here, I can’t have you reading any of my writing. But that’s for another day. Me Before You, hmm.

Braxton, if that were true, I would have already followed you. But for you, Virgil, and M Anime. Your potential stepmom is “Livin’ On The Edge” with me, and I’m trying to talk her away from it. Why? She wants to be a mom, there’s V, and you’re still barking LIVE.
Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad