Lesson 225 ~Meant To Be Free~

Every day I count one more link in the chain, Mr. Scrooge only knew greed, but money is not my evil, lust, guilt, fear, hate, I need to make a list, but hopefully, I’ll stop with seven, my slave masters. Meant To Be Free

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Lesson 225 ~Meant To Be Free~

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, merely disappointed though it’s not your fault, not yet… though I’m sure you’ll have a few disappointments honestly, especially considering what week this is and my you will be busy. If it’s any consolation you are a wanted man, like masters wanted slaves, as comedians need jokes, and by women, as a gay best friend, and for other things, if you thought about one in such a way.

Speaking of thoughts, last week it was all worry, but blood and tribulation, fire and glory, the day of the writing in the sky and all I could do is keep my head down because like some slaves I asked what the hell am I going to do with freedom? I’m trying instead of doing, here I had the damn stage, but all I could hear was laughter; yes I laugh at myself, and I cry, well actually I sleep to keep from crying. What about the women; even if I could keep it in my pants, they wouldn’t want it, and unless you do something about it Wednesday you’re going to be alone again.

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 07 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 02 No Fap) Okay
2. I Will Stay Employed In My Day Job, Do The Right Thing
Partially Complete, Employed But Wrong
3. I Will Not Know Intimidation By The General Manager
4. I Will Decide What To Do With My Day Job Account Against That Man
5. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish A Chapter

As you can see, I can’t be free of my demons, but you have to be free of me, so maybe the goal should be, don’t be like me, I imply that every week don’t I? Don’t let freedom scare you, but how hard did I fight to stay a slave, how much ass did I have to kiss, how I caved to everything but know this, your soul is worth more than $10.20 an hour. There are times I don’t think I even have a soul but then I remember that this is Hell and even if you choose to be here, as they say, better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven, so don’t be blind Will.

Now this week what are those six impossible things and I know again, this is going to be a busy week, but you’ll do better.

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 02 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Clean Out My Inbox
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
4. I Will Figure Out HR
5. I Will Focus On The Dog; My Little Boy Is Turning Thirteen The Thirteenth
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish A Chapter

“dependin’ on me, sometimes we ain’t meant to be free” ― I Am, Jorja Smith

It seems so simple doesn’t it, like dropping a chain, running away, it’s a disease, just like lust, guilt, fear, and now slavery, you might as well be Gus Mancuso from Passengers, every infliction under the sun, I know right?

I’m not expecting a miracle but the keyword this week is “FREEDOM”; four work days right, but one day, I don’t know when just know we’re Meant To Be Free.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 218 ~Ready For A War~

I wasn’t ready for their hatred, and or to hate myself, what human being is, we learn to hate, and not to love anymore, but what about winning, tell that to the teams in the Super Bowl, I’m ready to watch… the commercials. “Ready For A War,” no.

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Lesson 218 ~Ready For A War~

“Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist.” ― Bill Pullman, Independence Day (1996)

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, remember, remember the fifth of November, or how about August 6th, what about The HARM of a Cookie, even the time somebody strapped a pair of panties to my jeans in high school? My point today is that nobody is ready; today is the Super Bowl and while I despise football… maybe that’s harsh; I hate my boss I dislike football anyway no one is ready for a fight until you’re already in one, sad to say honestly.

“We’re not built to kill. We don’t have claws fangs or armor. Vets, they came back with PTSD, that didn’t happen because we’re comfortable with killing. We’re not. We can’t be. We feel. We’re connected.” ― The Walking Dead 6×04

Am I trying to talk you out of tomorrow, my friend I am afraid that is out of my hands, you are at war with your soul I know but one man’s destruction is better than unleashing Hell, but somebody smashed your gates, that asshole did and now? Who prepares for this even if they do, nobody ever is but you’re a just not like them, and because you can’t be, no you won’t be, you find yourself here; it doesn’t mean you can’t be better, I always wish that. Speaking of which before I get too carried away what about those six impossible things how did that go for me with this last week?

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 32 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed, I’m starting again Day 7 (Haley Pullos as Belle Knox)
2. I Will Keep Working The Day Job Despite Everything
Completed barely worked at all
3. I Will Not Spend A Full Day In Bed (Not More Than 8 Hours In 24)
Completed, but already failed 2/4/2018
4. I Will Forget About Last Week
Failed, you kidding me, right?
5. I Will Focus More On The Dog And Pretty Girls
Completed, my dog and Indiana Gone was here, that’s enough?
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel
Completed, isolated one chapter

Though I failed at a couple this shows that I do have what it takes to win at least to some degree but what about tomorrow, the day after, this whole month, look at it this way you just have to carry this week. How long does it take to win a war though because surely you haven’t hated yourself forever and that’s the problem with these things you rarely remember why you’re fighting, but you soldier on because there is no other way? Trust me I’ve tried, words fail, silence fails, what about competition, it worked for the Greeks, and now cities are set to flames, I want peace.

This week though I doubt you will see that, shouldn’t that make the list of six impossible things, don’t hold your breath, literally because this week will be a fight but besides that what else:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 07 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Stay Employed In My Day Job, Do The Right Thing
3. I Will Not Know Intimidation By The General Manager
4. I Will Decide What To Do With My Day Job Account Against That Man
5. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish A Chapter

Honestly, wish you had an Annie Cresta to your Finnick Odair, is it ideal to fight when you do it for the ones you love I wonder; I love my dog like pancakes but this war my friend, in the end, it’s only you. As Haymitch told Katniss, I leave you with this “Stay Alive” but why don’t I ask you to win because you have to want to but nobody ever is you know, nobody’s Ready For A War.

I Will Have No Fear

A Wind Is a Wind

Air is for breathing, I breathe to live and some take a breath to talk and I think they are actually getting the better part of it to be honest. A Wind Is a Wind I would say I shouldn’t talk anymore but I would say type either and yet we’re here

And don’t waste your breath on I don’t care
If you have to take another gulp of air
Why don’t you ask God where he’s been?
Still, I have nothing to say to him
Is there a God.com
for I would surely profane

every sin to the wind
Never said them out loud anyway
How my dad talks to my mom
because I could never cause such pain
So why did I share
Tell me why do I dare

A push of a button is an atom bomb
When a man decides he has no brain
I choose to become one of them
Failing today
But of course, life’s not fair
Don’t I see the man standing there?

Quasimodo never looked so grim
I’d burn my shadow where I lay
alone if only to spare
one more person that awkward affair
of being my friend and disturbing the calm
I’m not a hurricane

No, I’m the sitcom
that you find skeevy, inappropriate and lame
only I can’t be saved or repaired
My anxiety you stare
Sorry and I’ll say it again
Better I’ll blow away

Copyright © 2017 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.


Melting Cupid’s Wings

Hot, isn’t that how most love “affairs” start, maybe she’s too hot but all men end up falling don’t they. “Melting Cupid’s Wings”, what do you say before some pretty girl changes your world… not “forever” doubt I’d ever meet that girl.

Love… when it could be something else
You knock me off of my feet
A million times hotter than TNT
Epic fail
That my world lies un-rocked
My heart, the stars, everything but the words dropped

Putting an end to the birds and bees
Thanks a lot

Cupid… what the hell
What are you waiting for?
I look outside my door
*sigh* How you make me melt

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired by: Mystique, Raven Darkhölme, Jennifer Lawrence, Michael Jackson “The Way You Make Me Feel”, Five Stars “Atom Bomb Baby”, Crown City Four “Watch World War Three (On Pay TV), and Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKZ-WF7A4-o

Mystique…Raven Darkhölme… Jennifer Lawrence (Melting Cupid's Wings)