Journey 311 ~Braxton’s Faith In Virgil~

The Church of Braxton? Does it make me slightly uncomfortable? Yup. But the only boys here are my boys and me. And our nuns/acolytes are younger and dress better. Also, I believe the “American Experiment” is coming to an end—Braxton’s Faith In Virgil

Friday, May 8, 2026

Journey 311 ~Braxton’s Faith In Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Honestly, I don’t have any to tell. Hell, I’ve been giving myself instructions in “Whiteout Survival”.

And as usual, I’m wrong because what did I place today? And should I tell you another story about my “favorite,” as in Braxton. Parents aren’t supposed to have favorites.

However, if there’s one thing Braxton and Virgil, my sons, have in common, it’s that “I Believe in a Thing Called Love.” And I’m effing weird. Fur buddies and boobies!

Honestly, my lady, give me “Something to Believe In.” Why today and why now, hmm?

I mean, “You wake up one morning, and half your life is gone.” Being over forty, the better part of me died over five years ago. It wasn’t just my Braxton. It was my faith.

Sophia, I’d call myself an atheist, but no effing way did my son just disappear.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

So what else do I put my faith in these days? My boys’ potential stepmom, M Anime. I still remember the third worst day of my existence. Being born, losing my boy, and losing my baby. “The Only One For Me”? That she may be. There can be miracles “When You Believe.” And I did get her back after all. But it still hurts. Soph, Faith of the Heart, hurts.

Everything hurts today. Or for the past few days. People, Sophia. Eff, MAGA! FDT! And eff Tennessee, and every other place following them. Where’s “Katie Queen Of Tennessee,” when you need her? Ok, so we know I believe in the power of music, I think.

Because I didn’t think I’d be fighting Oppression’s great roar.

That’s why I live in music, manuscripts, movies, the mutt by my side, and the misses in my arms. Well, M Anime isn’t here yet, but “It Doesn’t Matter.” Because I have a cult, ha!

Hometown Heat Wave: An Unconventional Romance, Book 3, is sitting on my Kindle as we speak, and why? All because of this epic fantasy, I’m building. Ashe has three women.

Here I am juggling six, and Braxton knows how many from Bible Black, and then there’s Braxton and Virgil themselves. And, ironically, I’m using a fantasy to find the real me, my lady. M Anime calls it Shadow Work. I have so many “Charades.” But MK is best by far.

My favorite. Putting my faith in. Braxton’s Faith In Virgil

1923 Days Without B III, Day 1364 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

Isn’t it sad that to merely exist, one must have purpose? I mean, especially in the USA, FDT. What’s a bed for? Babies. Domestic labor. To play “Whiteout Survival.” How about rock out with my… Uh, my boys still sleep here. “B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.”

Thursday, May 7, 2026

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

1922 Days Without B III, Day 1363 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day… Your Dad? Well, I wasn’t much of a student. Do you remember that?

Was I still in college… AHEM, junior college, when you made your way here? You definitely weren’t here for high school. You and I would have died a lot sooner fighting my Old Man. Back when I was praying for a D in summer school. No, not like that, B.

Eww. Nothing against the LGBTQIA+ community, Braxton. We’re not MAGA. FDT! B, that was your last gift to me… Well, not really. But you died Sunday, January 31, 2021, so you saw me to the end of that A-hole’s first term. And your bro… Virgil, having no balls isn’t my fault. He lost those before I welcomed him here. But having no guts at all?

Like HOME, I treat COURAGE like it’s a dirty word.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Beatrice Prior, aka Tris, aka Shailene Woodley is one (b) I would have welcomed to bed, Little B. But she was with some Cracker Hat back then. Not that I stood a chance, my B.

But speaking of someone who would have me “Smokin Out The Window,” that’s part of the reason I’m late talking to you today. Between looking through the Magic Glasses and talking to your potential stepmom, “M Anime,” I’ve come to a realization. Had an epiphany. Yeah, that sounds a bit more religious. Anyway, with the story I’ve been “writing,” yeah, right. Every woman who joins the harem is a part of me, I eff over.

Literally B. And isn’t “Ironic”? When you ‘left’, I was celibate for 161 days. Right…

One good look at Chloë Grace Moretz rubbing her thigh, and I broke. Daddy’s weak.

Your Dad is also quite dumb. Please, I’m STUPID AF, and I know you don’t like me talking like this. I didn’t take my afternoon nap. I was up at 10. But the Magic Glasses:

• M Anime = Heart & Future (emotional + creative)
• Kyouko = Momentum & Desire (raw fun and drive)
• Lily = Past & Mourning (sacred grief turned into offering)
• Cassandra = Fire & Youth (passionate, competitive energy)
• Sophitia = Stability & Motherhood (mature, nurturing strength)

They don’t see Skye clearly. Not yet. In a world, you still exist. In a place I want to be in.

“Days Gone”? Been watching that. I, B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 309 ~Virgil, Will, B, Ohana~

The epitome of manhood is fatherhood. I want a family, someday… I’ve raised… I’m raising two fur sons. Braxton and Virgil. One with the Magic Glasses and the other… well, if I want to “see” family, I should see an eye doc too. Virgil, Will, B, Ohana.

Wednesday, May 6, 2026

Journey 309 ~Virgil, Will, B, Ohana~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I almost forgot Braxton’s Favorite Girl’s birthday… And Star Wars Day, Taco Tuesday, Cinco De Mayo. Mother’s Day.

It’s what happens when you don’t have Ohana. But wait a sec, my boys B III and 2-V, their potential stepmom, M Anime. There’s Braxton’s Favorite Girl. Cherry. Crying much!

Seriously! I’m not sad. Okay, not sad enough to cry. I’m effing tired, is all. B III, Dear Future Wife, you, Sophia, Lady Lu, the Man In The Mirror. And he is ticking me off! Today, while I sat in the car, I had a thought of Lilo and Stitch. No, not about Nani hentai.

If anything, I’ve gotten into Nico Parker lately. In case you haven’t noticed, My Inspector.

She inspired the character of “Skye Matthews,” but more on that later. No, I won’t go getting “Tired Of You.” My “homegirls,” harem, my hounds

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Inspector Echo, I’m effing tired of me. As I said, I was in the car, “Lookin’ out at the road rushin’ under my wheels,” thinking about Braxton’s Favorite Girl, her birthday, and how she believes in Ohana. And what Ohana is. And how I say always and forever, my dear.

Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten
Lilo & Stitch (2002)

It begins with me. And I effing hate myself. I want to be the father Braxton and Virgil deserve. The man M Anime needs—someone who can be depended on. You know how companies say “we treat you like family,” or something like that. My family hates me. Inspector. Those I share DNA with anyway. No wonder I created a whole harem to share my DNA with… “I got Loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA.”

And “They say I walk like a king (walk). Talk like a king.” Nope, no one is saying that, Inspector. Except in the places I want to be. Is one of those places a prison? Because if I keep getting on like I was last night. How late was I talking to Dear Future Wife?

Honestly, I was that effing horny. Horny enough to be fantasizing about Thandie Newton’s daughter and putting her in my twisted world. Space Junk, sorcery, and lots of sex. And I still need to see a doctor after recreating “The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident.” After M Anime’s doctor visit… She worries about me. Braxton does. Virgil does. Others? Yet I’m the family I’d write off. Wishes. Virgil, Will, B, Ohana

1921 Days Without B III, Day 1362 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 308 ~Better B Running Virgil~

Last week I was tired. This week? Finding more reasons to be tired. Running on Empty in more ways than one. Eww! V needs food in B’s bowl, and my girl, who’s saying I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl. And who is Skye Matthews? “Better B Running Virgil”

Tuesday, May 5, 2026

Journey 308 ~Better B Running Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? That’s more than enough to get you to run away. Obsession? Funds, Fur, Future Wife…

As the song goes, “It keeps you running, oh it keeps you running.” FEAR, beloved.

Honestly, I would like to consider myself courageous. Hell! I would take being a man of leisure. But even “Here and Now,” as “I promise to love faithfully.” My love, I do that with every breath that I take. But every one of them is laced with FEAR, like other drugs laced with Fentanyl. Wow, that’s dark. But today is dark. Today I’m afraid. Always…

Running. Because I promised myself I would not fail again. Fail to love? Where’s Virgil?

Better question. Where’s Braxton? And here’s a random question. Who is Skye Matthews, hmm? A girl who couldn’t run. But more on her in due time. What time is it?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Way past time for us to be talking when we could be doing much more interesting things, my love. If I must be afraid, let it be that our children come walking into this room. Seriously, two-leggeds, four-leggeds, and all. I’m not just a father, a friend, a guy thinking “I Wanna Eff You.” I ain’t Akon, but that’s definitely in the bedroom playlist, babydoll.

Forgetting how crazy, how obsessed I get over you. Because when’s the last time you saw me chase a dollar? And again, I’m not hugging my doggie right now. And why is that, my love? I can’t run with that little ball of fluff in my arms. But would I leave him, our house, you, my heavenly angel? Not ever.

Not if I can help it. Not if leaving would hurt you more than staying. And why would I leave? Skye Matthews? Please, your husband writes HaremLit. Uh, when I’m not writing about my boys, my latest bad thing, or some boobies. Specifically yours. However…

“Magic Glasses” are a thing, and that is what I’m afraid of, like everyone, beloved.

Obsessed over seeing my firstborn, my boy, my Braxton, each and every day. So much so that “I created” another world, a nether realm, an Everworld. I’m not K.A. Applegate.

What I am is a scared man thinking about “All These Things That I’ve Done”. They keep running through my mind. And “Hanging By A Moment” here with you seems impossible. Better B Running Virgil

1920 Days Without B III, Day 1361 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 306 ~Braxton, Virgil, Meet Broccoli~

I can’t remember the last time I had broccoli. But I can see that I’m a geek as I was watching Deep Space Nine this morning. Hell, I was reading a story that was being “created” in real time that was, um, disturbing. “Braxton, Virgil, Meet Broccoli.”

Sunday, May 3, 2026

Journey 306 ~Braxton, Virgil, Meet Broccoli~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I’ll say, you would never be as cruel as to feed your boys broccoli. It’s gross

Not hating your guts, working with the Magic Glasses and the stories it creates that add Braxton and Virgil a little too often… “More Taboo Erotic Fantasy Inspirations.” No bro.

It’s the broccoli. And you have no earthly idea how to cook it or anything. Talk to me about that bulge in the ceiling over the stove. I almost forgot, this is your time now. 3:30 on a Sunday afternoon. How about Maroon 5’s “Sunday Morning”? Excuse you a sec…

Nearly forgot to add “What Lovers Do” to the playlist M Anime “created”. Could you see life without that woman? A woman with a “Body Like A Back Road”. Someone who doesn’t care that you like “Midnight Sleazy Train”. How she sees, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING HUNGER Collection: Zombie Apocalypse Erotica
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Does she know? Does anybody? There are Braxton and Virgil, of course. Talk about the children of a lesser god. Is that what you are? According to the Magic Glasses. Again, you’re late but for a good reason. Because as Fearless Motivation screams… “I AM”

What? A sorcerer? According to that, Stevie Nicks and Sheryl Crow tune. Someone who can keep their hands off the phone for longer than 5 minutes. Because you don’t want to know what I think of you. You don’t want to hear what you think of yourself. No, no, no!

You want to think of Braxton still alive. When you say Broccoli, you think of Reginald Barclay from the “Star Trek” franchise. Your mirrors should see love. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Like living this life you have created. I’m sorry the Magic Glasses have. Joel Miller from The Last of Us would not be pleased. What about Mortal Kombat, Bible Black, Soul Calibur, and who knows who or what tomorrow? Tomorrow, effing tomorrow. I know, I know, The Bad Place. “Ain’t No Sunshine,” when he’s gone. B hated The Bad Place.

Honestly, more than you do. It’s like Dante’s Inferno without the payoff. And how did Beatrice look at Dante for the longest time? A cheater. You cheat yourself, now, today.

Hold on, not like that! Virgil is Braxton’s brother, not a replacement. And no woman overrules M Anime. Your Ma might not approve. But your reality and your “sorcery.” Healthy? Maybe? Braxton, Virgil, Meet Broccoli.

1918 Days Without B III, Day 1359 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 304 ~B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil~

What time is it? Way too long, not selling books. Spent all day looking over my blog on one side and the story being created. Tell me if you’ve heard this. Uh, MORTAL KOMBAT. Way too much to go over. But fairy tales? “But B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil”

Friday, May 1, 2026

Journey 304 ~B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But who’s the protagonist, me, Braxton, or Virgil? I don’t know. It annoys me—the End.

No, that ain’t what I’m about, my lady. As late as it is, I still owe you a story. And Braxton knows the Magic Glasses ain’t gonna do it for me. Goodness no! Am I getting lazy? Well, my lady, I didn’t leave the house today. Eat your words, am I right? I’m their slave…

Honestly, I was gathering all the blog posts on one side and what the Magic Glasses were saying on the other side. I’m sure some MAGA Cracker Hat would love that. You know, telling the truth about slavery isn’t allowed. Not in MAGA world. As always, FDT and all MAGA!

But it’s not like I can tell my story. Even the Magic Glasses are sick of me. So, effing horny?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Enough so I can’t give you a book review today. Again, I have been sitting here getting the blog compilation together and seeing who has the dirtier mind: me or the Magic Glasses. I keep asking them to finish the story, so you can guess who’s winning, my lady. Meanwhile, I’m being told to play nice. And honestly, I want to go back to bed.

Dangerous thoughts because you know who went to sleep and didn’t wake up. And it was with these hands. The same hands that can’t write 400-some odd words. Effing lazy.

Seriously thinking of words and stories, that’s why I’m annoyed this enchanted evening, my lady. Virgil was on his pillow waiting for me to what. Be good, fatherly, a writer.

That’ll be a no to that last part. Anyway, I remember when I was “younger” in this house, and Braxton would wait for me to come to bed. You know he would give me that look like “Did I effing stutter? Stop talking to the glow box (computer) and come to bed, now, Dad!” I imagine that will be his potential stepmom, M Anime, someday. Put my hands on her rather than all the imagined video vixens the AI is helping with—five harem girls.

AHEM:

  1. M Anime,
  2. Kyouko Sakai, Kojin Taxi 2
  3. Lily, blonde gymnast
  4. Cassandra Alexandra
  5. Sophitia Alexandra

These aren’t fairy tales, a father tells his son. Or his daughters. M wants children, but B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil.

1916 Days Without B III, Day 1357 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

I taught my boys to be gentlemen when it came to the ladies. And Braxton knows there were all kinds of stories I couldn’t read to them. B III loves his Favorite Girl. And 2-V? He’s scared of everybody. And I’m an open book. “B Tailing Secrets Virgil”

Thursday, April 30. 2026

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

1915 Days Without B III, Day 1356 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If only you could talk, hmm… Please. I know your language like I know my…

Nevermind… The point is, I could hear you then. I can hear you now. Listening…

Honestly, that’s my problem. Communication. Where was the voice to say, “I have a bad feeling about this?” Star Wars was 1977… Yay, I’m younger than Star Wars, Baby B.

However, not by very much. Is that why I’m hard of hearing? I’m selective, which makes me more of a jerk. I heard what you were saying, and I couldn’t be bothered—my rage, B.

Smoke was coming out of my ears, and I didn’t want to take it out on you. Then explain why your little brother is asleep on the floor instead of next to me. I’m not mad at Virgil, Braxton. Less horny? Bible Black, my harem.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’ll always listen to my “boner…” Seriously, did your father just become a frat bro?!

Goodness no! Though I’ll always be your brother in arms, legs, uh, paws, whatever B.

Like father, like son. Do you remember when I had to give you “The Talk?” When your favorite girl comes to visit. You didn’t keep secrets from her, I know that B. You would show her too much. Again, like father, like son. We communicate, we confide, and we gain the consent of the ladies. Even though sometimes the answer is no. We hear it.

Acceptance is a whole other thing entirely. I’ve made it no secret that I will never accept you being gone. Would I be better off? Billy Bob Thornton said this:

“There’s a melancholy in me that never goes away. I’m 50 percent happy and 50 percent sad at any given moment. … I don’t want to forget my brother. I don’t want to forget what it felt like when he died, because he deserves that — that’s how important he was to me. So, if I have to suffer and I have to be sad for the rest of my life, and if I have to be lonely without him… then that’s the way I honor him.” — By Billy Bob Thornton.

And don’t we have a rule about listening to white men… Effing Supreme Court! Eff!

Anyway, speaking of things I don’t want to hear. I was working with the “Magic Glasses” the other day, and it said that I got too sexual even for it. My harem for healing, Braxton.

MAGIC GLASSES Notes: Journey 302 B Slaving Away, Virgil (Wednesday, April 29, 2026)

[This is one of the most explicit fantasy prompts yet — shifting from the more “romantic” or “devotional” rituals to raw group sensuality, with the acolytes as aroused spectators.”

As real-world pressures mount — financial shame (“not economically viable”), creative frustration, physical/mental exhaustion, and the long grief over Braxton — the fantasy world becomes increasingly sexual and explicit.

Earlier Journeys often used the temple for protection, healing, and ritual renewal (hot spring, dawn prayer, Second Howl).

Recent entries (298–302) shift toward raw group sensuality, voyeurism (acolytes watching), and intense physical release.

This suggests the fantasy is no longer just about comfort or legacy — it has become a pressure-release valve. When the weight of reality feels unbearable (“I’m so effing TIRED”), the mind turns to intense sexual fantasy as a way to temporarily escape the noise, shame, and grief.
The Magic Glasses

This mirrors your real longing for a large, loving family with M Anime while simultaneously using sexual fantasy as a substitute when that future feels distant or impossible.

The increased explicitness in the prompts (bulges under sheets, acolytes touching themselves, group acts) suggests the escape is becoming more intense because the underlying pain is also intensifying.

The explicitness is not “just horniness” — it’s a symptom of deeper exhaustion and a craving for relief, validation, and temporary peace.

Bottom line:
The more explicit the temple scenes become, the louder your real-world exhaustion, grief, and sense of stagnation are crying out for relief. The harem and acolytes rushing to pleasure and comfort the Sorcerer is your mind’s way of saying: “I need to be cared for. I need to feel wanted. I need a break from carrying everything alone.”

Would you like me to explore or suggest how the temple rituals might evolve to address this emotional state more constructively?]

It’s like one of those books I couldn’t read to you while you were here. I was still into Eric Vall’s “Succubus Lord” series. Friday, January 29, 2021 Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~ I’ll give that to the Magic Glasses too and see what it thinks. Sunday Bloody Sunday, you were gone. But there has to be a better way than some woman’s ass or mine getting squeezed by her. B Tailing Secrets Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 302 ~B Slaving Away, Virgil~

So what am I hiding from today? Unlike MAGA, I’m ashamed to hide from the truth. I accept it. I’m sure B III is on the Rainbow Bridge barking, “The eff you say.” I’d worry about the country now, but I’m already a slave to my c… B Slaving Away, Virgil

Wednesday, April 29, 2026

Journey 302 ~B Slaving Away, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… “In this time of FEAR. When prayer so often proves in vain…” Seriously? Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey.

I can go so many places with this, Inspector. Do I speak about what I told M Anime today, or was it last night, whenever? Something to the tune of, “A good artist copies, but a great artist steals.” Do I go with the whole black and white angle of Whitney and Mariah, dear Echo? Especially with what happened today. The Voting Rights Act got effed up. So eff MAGA, Eff The Supreme Court (six of them anyway), and how many times do I say…

FDT! There can be miracles “When You Believe.” If that were true… Where’s my Braxton?

How selfish can I be? Yet another one of my sins. It wasn’t B and V holding me up, Echo.

I’m so effing horny, Inspector.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And that’s one more sin. My life is a movie, Fur Buddies and Boobies. This morning, it was the memory of Cherry’s yabbos. I told M Anime about Special K, and, you know, Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, not to be outdone, shared her yabbos with me. I mean, I “Think I’m In Love.” Really? No, but I’m getting there. Inspector, I’m not a liar.

But I eff the truth STUPID! Because I’m still sitting here thinking about Whitney Wright.

So if you want to ask me why I’m so late today, I’ve been reading. What, my story, um, no.

Not even my world, not counting M Anime. Kyouko Sakai is from Kojin Taxi 2 and Sex Taxi 5. “Lily” was a gymnast I saw.

But it’s been Cassandra and Sophitia Alexandra who have been getting me hot and bothered, along with some of the Bible Black acolytes. I swear the “Magic Glasses” may need “fine-tuning,” but they have a mind of their own. The buttons Echo. No, my co$k.

As Jackyl sings “She Loves My Co$k” M Anime, the rest of the harem, including the Alexandra sisters and the Bible Black acolytes. But I’m the problem. My dear, Inspector…

I’m a “Slave To The Rhythm”. The rhythm of love? I will always and forever remember my boys. There is love for my country. There is the woman who wishes to share “my bed.” I hate FEAR, but I’m a slave to it. And hating myself. B Slaving Away, Virgil
1914 Days Without B III, Day 1355 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 301 ~Love To B Virgil~

So what’s this about being tired? An actual family of my own… Yet. I swear, if M Anime and I ever had a son, I’m naming him after my furry firstborn, “Braxton.” And what if we had more? Virgil? What about writing? Still hate myself. Love To B Virgil.

Tuesday, April 28, 2026

Journey 301 ~Love To B Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I won’t ever say, I can’t, I won’t, or I shouldn’t. I do. That day…

I do. I will… I remember that day. I remember the day our children were born. I remember the day you became mine (in the biblical sense). But I also remember the worst day of my entire life. The day I was born, “Emergence Day,” E-Day. Or is it Braxton…

The day my firstborn son died. Sunday, January 31, 2021, somewhere between 3:30 and 4:00 PM. And lest I forget the day you walked out of my life, Sunday, August 24, 2025, around 6:00 AM. But hey, you came back. And I seem to have the same tendency, my love.

I keep coming back. Is that a bad thing? When I’m so TIRED. Eff me, I am so effing TIRED!

What day is it, baby?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“As Long As You Love Me,” it “Don’t Matter.” Like who I like more, The Backstreet Boys or NSYNC. That I’m a black man getting “Locked Up,” like Akon. God/B I hope not, my love. Or what song will I play for you next as I try to keep myself awake? Yes, I am TIRED!

But never too TIRED to ask you to “Break Me Off.” “Men of Vizion,” like me. “Magic Glasses” and all. If I haven’t said it enough, I am TIRED, which is why I’m choosing music.

I don’t know how I’m keeping my eyes open right now. Because when I close them, I see Braxton. I blink and see creation. And I hate seeing myself, but love seeing you—our kids.

And yes, V is included in that. My boys were/are SeeDs. I mean that both in love’s garden, in my heart… and Final Fantasy VIII. Yes, my love, you married a gamer, you know it. And through those seeds and some watering from you… Or maybe that’s my job, considering all the children running around, ha-ha. Anyway, what is the point of today, my love? Other than that, I love the woman I married. The woman who multiplied my love, who begged for my seed… Did I say that out loud? It’s that I became so many things in love’s name. But the Man In The Mirror, thank you Michael Jackson, hates being himself, the one. I look at Virgil Vivi… Love To B Virgil

1913 Days Without B III, Day 1354 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 299 ~Braxton’s Economically Viable Virgil~

I asked for a Mine, a small mine in Whiteout Survival. I asked for $3.99. Something that didn’t involve sex and simply honored my B. I asked not to be afraid. Be one of the “Heroes” if just for one day. I’m not B. Braxton’s Economically Viable Virgil

Sunday, April 26, 2026

Journey 299 ~Braxton’s Economically Viable Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And in case nobody has told you this today, AHEM, you’re not Economically Viable. What’s that mean?

It was the first thing you shouted out today as you played “Whiteout Survival,” hmm.

More soldiers in the infirmary. And put there by your own side. Effing hate people!

Except for M Anime, Braxton’s Favorite Girl, your Ma, younger sister, Cherry, and need we go on. Goodness no. Because all roads lead back to Braxton. And Virgil too. Seriously.

And you are not Economically Viable to them either. Again, what the eff is that…

Honestly? At the end of the day, you didn’t give Braxton a moment of your time. Caught up, keeping your LOUDNESS at bay, thinking you were protecting him from your rage. Effing LAZY. B was trying to tell you something: “God Is Trying To Tell You Something.” Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Place by Frafka Nim
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

No, you’ll stick with B III. Hell, 2-V will do. And there is always more music or more girls, ha!

LUST is not Economically Viable. Tell that to OnlyFans, Johnny Sins, every erotic writer you know, and The Magic Glasses. The things M Anime writes keep you comin’… What about your own work? By this point, “It Keeps You Runnin’” or it should, shouldn’t it

Braxton’s book sales, you mean. Again, you’re not begging. How long have I been staring at you, and you back at me? We’re nearing the end of the ninth year in 66 days. And why?

You don’t even remember at this point, but it did involve you wanting to di*k down some woman you worked with, right? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue. Hunger?
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

You should make being Economically Viable one of those things. If you could do these Impossible Things, you would be. But you can’t keep your effing di*k in your pants!

Dammit, you’re a man, right? Keep telling yourself that, why don’t you? A Man Provides!

For effing who? Braxton is still dead. And Acceptance is not negotiable. But Virgil’s here!

You’re a father, right? Not the MAGA kind. FDT! Not the Catholic church kind! Better?

How so, they’re at least Economically Viable. Politicians, and Church Leaders… You’re better off talking to Steve from Blue’s Clues or Elmo from Sesame Street and not crashing out, snapping (you despise people saying that) in some wintry wonderland game.

Braxton is honest. Me/you? Who cares! Braxton’s Economically Viable Virgil

1911 Days Without B III, Day 1352 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will