Tale 240 ~Curiosity Should Be Boundless, Sometimes~

The things I’m curious about. Where did my boy end up? How much do animal communicators charge? Can I finish speaking before 5:00 PM and get a steak dinner? Is V happy? Does my sharing food help? Uh, girls. “Curiosity Should Be Boundless, Sometimes.”

Monday, February 26, 2024

Tale 240 ~Curiosity Should Be Boundless, Sometimes~

Three-Hundredth And Thirty-Second Rule

Madam Justice
Rules Are Made To Be Broken… Or Laws. But since I don’t match the criteria of those people. Cash flow, color, criminal actions…

Hell! Here’s the facts. I’m sitting in bed on Wednesday, February 21, 2024, Madam. What about the fact that I haven’t had an energy shot all day? And what about having some fun? I told Inspector Echo that the Artificial Intelligence called out such freaky-deeky…

I’m not one to push the envelope. That’s another reason I’m not living the “Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous.” Braxton and I were… Sadly, I don’t know how to answer if B was happy.

Happy to me is a foreign concept. “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.” And at this particular moment, that’s a lie. If anything, I’m hungry. And I’m curious how much money I want to waste on myself and Virgil Vivi.

To be more curious there…

Yes, I’m about to be a meanie by saying this. Virgil was not my first choice at all. Lucky, doomed? Before him, there was that one puppy that kept trying to escape the cage. And there was a brown one who I saw in a pen and I got upset. They sort of hoisted him on me a bit. Ha!

With Virgil, first, it was his lack of curiosity and sticking to discipline. He went on the paper as though it was routine. He still has some training to do after 562 days—my laziness.

Then I wondered what Braxton was saying. So, “I gotta take it on the other side.” And much like B’s death, supposed reincarnation, Virgil’s life. Curiosity killed the cat. Right?

And then I figured, what would it feel like to be a Dad again? Hell, a grown-ass man. Huh! I’m still curious, seeing I adopted/rescued Virgil in 2022. And how am I now, Madam? Are you curious how Virgil could win me? What will it take with Happiness vs. Grief?

Hell! I’m always more curious about how Cherry and M Anime look in an “adult” way. “Girl All the Bad Guys Want,” or girls judging by my search history. Curiosity…

I’m curious what dinner will be tonight. Again, I waste the cash or cook. Microwave.

Madam, I quest for knowledge on the most simplistic things. But my boys, books, and big ole… I’ll shut up.

But I want to know Curiosity Should Be Boundless, Sometimes.

1121 Days Without B III, Day 562 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 235 ~Eulogize B By Virgil~

One week, I’m asking a girl to be my Valentine. Uh… Well, the next week, or Hell, the week before Valentine’s or every day for three years, I should be mourning my boy. But what have I been doing? Working and reading. Where’s V? Eulogize B By Virgil.

Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Tale 235 ~Eulogize B By Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. By asking Virgil Vivi to do anything? Could you sit down, shut up, and sleep as I read?

How many times have I written this down? Inspector? Ah … here we go again.

VIRGIL IS NOT BRAXTON!
VIRGIL IS NOT BRAXTON!
VIRGIL IS NOT BRAXTON!

Sometimes, I want to do my best impression of Katniss Everdeen: “Braxton is gone! BRAXTON IS GONE! HE’S DEAD, AND HE IS NOT COMING BACK!” Oh, um, that’s a lot.

Inspector Echo, people are sick of reading this three years after the fact. And so much for my critic having anything to say about this. And isn’t this more a conversation for Lady Sophia? A book turned into a movie. It’s a good book and film, to be fair, Inspector.

Anyway, that is what brings us together today. And again, books and movies? But embarrassed by reading? Enjoying, being affected

Let’s start with embarrassment. Now, I could get all political about living in a nation that aspires to STUPIDITY. And what have I been reading again or listening to, Inspector?

Take yesterday as an example. Without my Braxton, I have been fine-tuning my ears. Hell! Do you remember when I had to visit the doctor about earwax? Eww! And if you’ve only heard the stories that Braxton’s Aunt, Cherry, and M Anime have texted. Anyway, so I’m at the “Day Job.” And I have to be listening to these audiobooks constantly. And it doesn’t help that they all have something to do with “adult situations.” I’m a bad man, Inspector

Speaking of which, what about this morning? When it’s the Artificial Intelligence that’s saying, “Yeah, that’s too much even for me.” You feel really dirty. Also destined to write tales of a particular genre. Besides my laziness, it’s one more reason I’m not published. Yeah?

I keep reading an insurance letter I should send to the Olds and the termite inspection bill waiting. I got the tax refund a few days ago. Please! I’m keeping track of those dollar bills. Inspector, so far, I’ve only spent $71.01 of it. And I’m pleased only that dollar went towards… Um, a woman.

Which reminds me. I did cancel one of my many subscriptions. But what about Backyard Dungeon and everything else, Inspector?

More books on how to mourn my son? And I have Braxton’s eulogy somewhere, already written. Eulogize B By Virgil

1116 Days Without B III, Day 557 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 234 ~B’s Price Tag, Virgil~

Love language? I should focus on quality time. But what do I spend all my time on? With my pop culture references, you’d think I’m an expert with Netflix and Chill. And how much is Netflix? What about my boys, books, and balls? B’s Price Tag, Virgil.

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Tale 234 ~B’s Price Tag, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… But love’s not free. Sade sang, “Your Love Is King. Anastasia made it Christian’s song.

And as much as I agree that love is no prize. No. Love is a gift. But very expensive, sigh.

You can thank Mr. Dink for that one. Have I gone to buy a bunch of new gadgets yet, my love? As a billionaire, I know my tax refund must be enormous. But I’ll stick with Doug and not politics. And who pays the cable, satellite, and internet bills? I’m a man, aren’t I, love?

A very rich and wealthy man. But in my past… Hell! The businesses I’m running. Healing, addiction, obsession in all things sexual. The things we do for love. The price.

I don’t know how much my Old Man paid for Braxton to this day. Now Virgil Vivi Bradford was $150.00.

But my firstborn and then our firstborn. I swear when I first thought about money… Everything came back to power. Money is power. But in the face of love. Nothing.

There are billions of dollars, baby girl. But if I didn’t have you. Our family, children. Inevitably, the money would not be enough. But what more do I have to spend, save, and sell? Today, I’m thinking about time. How much time do I spend not loving? Well, myself, anyway.

Hell! I’m a billionaire. No! We are billionaires. “But you’re a terrific person. You’re my favorite person.” And I ain’t Bill… You know, from Kill Bill Vol. 2. But right now, I feel like The Cable Guy, my dearest love.

I’m not making sense, but I’m trying, love. I’m trying.

I want to be real. Only it seems that I pay for one illusion after another. I don’t pay for fun, fucks, or freedom. Of course, “Freedom Ain’t Free.” These days, I pay to feel.

How much did I spend? All so I could continue feeling sad about my boy? I’m sad about Braxton every day, but I was looking at all the books I’ve read so far… I’m ashamed. There’s way more about getting out of this world or the world I wish to see. But you’re here, love.

And the price to stay. The price just to keep going. I love you, and you love me. But the illusion and the realness. I make bad financial decisions. Tag love. B’s Price Tag, Virgil

1115 Days Without B III, Day 556 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 233 ~In The Ending Lies Judgement~

My Old Man asks me, how’s the house. But at the end of 2023 and the start of 2024. The fence is falling, the floor’s flooded, and I’m trying to fix the shelves… So, sitting here in Limbo. Besides the house, there’s my B. In The Ending Lies Judgement.

Monday, February 19, 2024

Tale 233 ~In The Ending Lies Judgement~

Three-Hundredth And Thirty-First Rule

Madam Justice
Rules Are Made To Be Broken… Because I didn’t join my son. I won’t lie to you… Braxton’s end should have been mine.

Not a day goes by when I’m lying on my back, fighting to keep my eyes shut for the day.

Or when I’m lying on my belly like a slug, grinding away to some video or picture of, you know what. If you’re wondering why I’m so late talking to you today, my dear friend.

How about when I’m playing with the toys I showed Cherry on Sunday? I’m gross.

But I’m also not dead. Even though this is “The End.” It’s the first song that B III sent me.

Remind me not to watch anything to do with Vietnam, Madam. Or reactions to the film Forrest Gump. I ain’t no “Fortunate Son.” Neither was my Braxton. But he’s gone. And Hell’s not for him.

Only if he’s waiting for me, Madam J. But no.

What a way to start a Monday morning. It’s Monday here in Hell! Though I’m not hot because of the punishment I deserve. With Princess Tamer, Succubus Lord, The Gargoyle.

Is there a Hell for being too bright? That’s funny. If all my reading made me a wise man? But I read that The Third Circle of Hell would be a match for pride. “Gluttony.”

How STUPID have I been to realize that I am living in the center of The First Circle of Hell? A Thirty-Nine-year-old man who talks to pretty, pretty girls. Who has his OLDS paying most of his bills? A fur baby I mistook for Braxton. And lives from his bed?

I hate myself. I’m not V’s best pal. And again, my B is gone. How will I be judged? Hmm.

I could make decent showings for every circle but Treachery… But, I swear, Lake Cocytus. And I don’t know how to swim. I hate being cold. And aren’t I always? That’s one more argument for me being in Limbo. No matter the weather, I am always in a hoody, Madam.

And if I’m not, I’m usually taking my clothes off. And what good comes from that ever, Madam? With Virgil walking around everywhere. I can forget about any alone time.

So, what ending am I working for? Unless I’m wrong, Madam. And this is Purgatory.

And in fixing my existence… In The Ending Lies Judgement.

1114 Days Without B III, Day 555 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 228 ~Valentines B To V~

Be my Valentine? Or, as I asked M Anime. Do you want to be my Valentine? With B, it was, get in the car. With some girls, it was, here’s $300. Let’s see some yabbos. For myself, “Don’t die.” “You have a kid.” But something’s missing Valentines B To V

Wednesday, February 14, 2024

Tale 228 ~Valentines B To V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. Is there anything worse than not doing right by love? “You Always Hurt the One You Love.” Right?

Then Virgil is going to live forever. Am I REALLY going to start today like this? Inspector, what was yesterday? Braxton’s 19th birthday. One more day down. One more testament. It’s like me being thirty-nine. I figured that Braxton would make it to twenty. Five years, Inspector. Braxton was supposed to have a mom. He would have a big yard to patrol in his old age. And he would be a big brother. And where am I on that front? Well, Virgil is here. But “Is This Love?” I can ask that about plenty, Inspector; B III, M Anime, myself.

Love lies bleeding… Like the toxins in Braxton’s little body. And the chemicals that ended his suffering. The chocolates and CREAM for M Anime. Tears…

Echo, you tell me that yesterday was about crying over “Someone You Loved. But now?

I know I should be a better man than this. I asked M Anime to be my Valentine. And I wonder if I met her before I met my Little B III. Talk about the cart before the horse, ha.

Okay, Inspector, that’s an example of things I shouldn’t say on this Holy day. Valentines… I’m not moving Braxton’s ghost off the bed. And I’m not making love to a beautiful woman, either. I swear, Inspector, today’s another morning. I’m not a father or lover. Valentine? Even though I asked her Inspector, I’m trying to figure out what that means.

Only I think I’m getting that whole; love yourself first…

But then again, I’ve never loved myself. But I loved the hell out of my little boy. And how did that turn out for Braxton again? That’s what one gets when they love me, Inspector.

And the things that I’ve been thinking about M Anime? Why do you think I’m up so early on a workday talking to you, Inspector? I’m hot, horny, and I want to do something to make M Anime happy. Because as the song goes, “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.” Is that because “Somewhere Out There,” someone is thinking about me, Inspector Echo? Positively? Hmm.

Like A, W, X, Y, Z, something’s missing, Dear Inspector.

The love of my boys? A good woman? What about sex? Valentines B To V
1109 Days Without B III, Day 550 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 227 ~Tomorrow Will B V-Day~

I’m 39, which I hate. But I would’ve loved it if my son saw 19. Happy Birthday, Braxton. But there are so many days that involve people, sigh. And tomorrow is all about love, which has come and gone for me. And what about 2V. “Tomorrow Will B V-Day.”

Tuesday, February 13, 2024

Tale 227 ~Tomorrow Will B V-Day~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… You have my forever. But, uh oh. Guess what day it is. Happy Birthday, Braxton!

I know you’re asking yourself how many days belong to my son—counting 1108 now. And how long have we been together? That’s a dangerous question for a married man to ask. There are a lot of those going on three years. And still, my heart grows, my love, daily.

That should be more than enough reason to get out of bed each morning. Because I love you, our children… I’m still working on me. And I can’t promise you I’ll get there, my love. I’ve hated myself longer than I had my son. Have I mentioned I hate thirty-nine?

And there’s so much left to do, love. I could do my John Mayer impression. “One thing I’ve left to do. Discover me, discovering you.”

But you have your day. Hell! You have a lot of them. You probably rival my little furry son’s love. Only, can you let today be his? Am I asking you? Hmm. Or am I trying to be some alpha male, better known as an asshole? But no. I’m only a grieving Dad, missing my little boy every single day.

I don’t even take today off. I spend two days crying. But on the day my son came to be. And here’s something to bake your noodle. Sunday, February 13, 2005, is the day I chose for him. I never got an answer on Braxton’s birthday, but it was sometime in April. That’s when I met my firstborn son. And every day after… our tomorrow, always, forever… Valentine? Braxton was/is a saint, amongst other things.

And, I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved. I know you still do. As I you, my love. Hell! Even the playlist I’m making, John Mayer, Lewis Capaldi, Muse, and I can go on. I told Braxton I would find him a mom someday. And now Virgil is here. And I didn’t know what day I would find him. Or the day I would see you, love. But I keep telling everyone I’m here. But that’s a lie because I’m seeking my little B III today. Always.

It’s like something from The Big Bang Theory, “Emily or Cinnamon,” ha-ha. Words of love for my firstborn, for you, and so many. Even Virgil and myself? Today, Let It Be. Tomorrow Will B V-Day

1108 Days Without B III, Day 549 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 226 ~You Never Chase After Opponents~

It keeps you runnin’, yeah, it keeps you runnin’. It has a name… Braxton. I’ve chased V, too. But now I’m trying to outrun the flood of tears. Good thing I fear drowning. But who’s out to sea with me. I ain’t Jesus. “You Never Chase After Opponents.”

Monday, February 12, 2024

Tale 226 ~You Never Chase After Opponents~

Three-Hundredth And Thirtieth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules Are Made To Be Broken… But this is one of many that I wouldn’t mind wrecking. And trust me, I’ve tried. Braxton?

I swear the things I did for my boy. The things I should do for my son. Especially come tomorrow. But I’m not even here today. It’s Saturday, February 10, 2024. So you know what that means. Another hard week? And I don’t even want to think about the next.

And that’s the whole point of today. Hell! Sunday, new champions will be crowned at the STUPID Bowl. Whoever wins will be at the top of the mountain, on cloud nine. Or whatever. They will get to rest. And here I am, Madam, singing out, why can’t that be me?

And I don’t mean playing football. I hate the sport. I’m more for “professional wrestling,” Madam. #WeWantCody and everything, you know. And how’s that going?

I’ve had more than enough conversations with myself about Seth FREAKING Rollins. With his whining and complaining. Am I going to have an honest-to-God sports conversation with you? Nope. But I see him crying, wanting competition, challenge, and to be the champion. Champions don’t do that. You don’t run from the fight. But you don’t beg for it to make yourself relevant. You live, Madam, and dare death to take it from you. Braxton lived/lives.

“Now I know the whole world is an arena. And we need The Hunger Games every year. To remind us all who we truly are.”

“And who are you, do you determine?”

“The victor.” ― from The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes

I’m not my son. Braxton was/is a champion, angel, god. A titan, and so many other things. And he would sit on the corner of the bed, looking at the door. He wanted the fight, but he didn’t chase it. Because there was me. He saw me as worth fighting for. Daddy, always and forever…

But I go out there running every day pretending I’m somebody. I fight to even get out of bed. I need not stir one foot to seek a foe. My fears will have me pinned right here. My lack of funds leaves me nothing. And there is always some female that leaves me weak in the knees. I can’t keep my pants on. I am my own worst enemy. Seriously!

So why go out and chase anybody? Again, you don’t. But that’s when you are a champion, and I’m not. I read. Ha! I write, Ha-Ha. And existence is too much for me. I’m hysterical.

I can’t be bothered chasing others because I’m getting in my own way. Every day. You Never Chase After Opponents.

1107 Days Without B III, Day 548 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 221 ~Path B For V~

Where do I go? Hell! I need to focus on getting one foot out of bed, and then what? Even when B was dying and could barely see, he knew where he was going. That is until he was on his belly in the hospital, asking me to take him home. “Path B For V.”

Wednesday, February 7, 2024

Tale 221 ~Path B For V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. Can you imagine what that feels like? To open your eyes and know you’re a sinner. Finding God…

If I ever did my Echo, I don’t know if I would laugh, cry, or get to swinging. Now, I could go into all the reasons to fight in this day and age, but here’s the sin besides waking up.

Gospel 221, Willing To Lie Braxton, three years ago Inspector.

One more day, where I admitted what had happened to Braxton. And with the critic being incapable of going backward. I had Braxton put to sleep because of Kidney Failure.

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t remember him walking from his bed to his water bowl as he was dying. I brought his water to him. And Braxton’s bed was soaked all with the sickness that had overtaken my little son.

Which leads me to the paths I walk, Inspector. The first step is always out of my bed. Is it more of a sin to give in to my sloth? To know that every additional step is only to sin again. Or is it in knowing that “Every Little Step” I take signifies nothing? This Existence Inspector Echo is nothing. Again, I have three years to go off of. Writing about Braxton and me. Sigh

As I’m not Bobby Brown. Hell! How many girls have I gotten up for? Did I really just say that, Inspector? We’ll get there. But for fifteen years, when I woke up. “Hey Little B!”

Make Way For The King. And Braxton walked as my little prince. The world belonged to us, or it would.

That’s what his Daddy told him. And even when I was exhausted. Braxton would make sure to defend this castle, his home. I wish I could walk like that again. Is B watching me now?

What about with Saga 221 ~Y B V Gushes~? Hell! I didn’t want him to see his Dad like that. Though Braxton always had his toys. And then there was that talk about his Aunt. But that didn’t get him in as much trouble as other things. The things I would send him to his room for so I could… Anyway, his Daddy on his belly doesn’t compare to PetSmart.

The center aisle is still hard to tread. Braxton’s passing…

But getting out today? One step, Path B For V

1102 Days Without B III, Day 543 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 220 ~Braxton and Virgil Financial~

Sons, sustenance, and sex… I also buy a lot of books, kindle, and audio because people suck. I need to buy speakers. My playlists are “Fire…” No! But I’m burning money like I did B three years ago on the 4th. Not cool! “Braxton and Virgil Financial.”

Tuesday, February 6, 2024

Tale 220 ~Braxton and Virgil Financial~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… And seeing as how we make more money than Jesus. And ain’t that pretty blasphemous?

We should go and see The Book of Clarence again. Or if we stay in, we could watch Brewster’s Millions. In God We Trust, right? And yes, I tend to spend money like it’s going out of style. And I haven’t talked to “God” since Braxton passed. Even mercy cost

Today, which would be… Friday, February 2, 2024. I was going over the books, darling. Yes, I talked to Sophia about my ever-growing Study. I have to finish “Exodus” for my weekly read. And no, not the Bible book, but the one written by Imogen Linn. And then there’s still Red Rising, which is good but long.. Or I’m lazy. Braxton? Let’s say mourning. And I bought Satan’s Sorority Girls 2 the audiobook. The money I’ve given Eric Vall… sigh.

Three years ago today… Gospel 220 ~ Will’s Sound Of Silence~. All I could hear was the sound of my sobbing. And there has been plenty of that today. But most of this afternoon has been the sound of me trying to empty our accounts. More books, more books! There has been the tick-tock of the clock as I waste so much time. And what about Virgil. He’s the one that reminded me where some of our cash should go. How To Be A Man

Not a father because he is not my son… That’s a cruel thing to say. Isn’t it? When in Rome.

I mean, I took him in. I’m not sending him back. But the expense, love…

I’ve defined love before. But what about the term priceless? That’s what Braxton was, is.

And this time last year, Saga 220 ~ Don’t Worry Your Life Away~. There’s always money.

But for Braxton, I would have spent everything and more. Even if I didn’t have it, I would have found a way. Whether rhyme or crime, right? But what about all I have right now? I want to believe that a man is more than money. I mean, with us, that’s always been the case. You’re no “Gold Digger.” Well, unless we’re talking Red Rising again. I “love” books. I don’t burn them. But I love Braxton. And on Thursday, February 4, 2021, I See Fire. Love and money burn. Braxton and Virgil Financial.

1101 Days Without B III, Day 542 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 219 ~Ideas Wait For Busy Hands~

What have I done in the last 1100 days since my B III died? He would be/is approaching his 19th birthday. I swear he was going to be half my age. And with my two hands, I would have been the one saving us. But instead, Ideas Wait For Busy Hands.

Monday, February 5, 2024

Tale 219 ~Ideas Wait For Busy Hands~

Three-Hundredth And Twenty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules Are Made To Be Broken… And I wouldn’t precisely call prayer as looking busy. Yesterday, I should’ve… Even if it did nothing.

I do mean Thursday, February 4, 2021. And where were these busy hands then, Madam?

Gospel 218 ~Eyes Have It Will~. “Now, with these hands,” I was committing yet another crime. First B III, then me, and then “Dirty Diana.” Without a second thought.

Only I’ll admit I should have been begging for Braxton’s forgiveness all the more, as it was by my hand that B met his end. And I should have been there. “I See Fire” B III.

I saw him die, though. Did I need to see him burn as well? I’ll pay for my crimes; I do not doubt that. And in knowing I’m destined for Hell, I would choose the fire. But with my Treachery… Ice will suffice, I know.

But the rub is this, Madam. Though I have ended my boy, Braxton, myself, and Diana with the stroke of a pen and the push of a button. At the end of the day, I am still here with V.

Any ideas? You know where my hands have been. Oh! What will I tell the man in the mirror this week? Do I mean myself? Today is Thursday, February 1, 2024. And I’m here, huh! So today didn’t go exactly to plan because I shouldn’t be doing anything. Cry, Die?

Don’t I wish? I could say I have a few good ideas, but it wasn’t inspiration, the insanity of losing my son. Or even the indifference that led to his death. Madam, it is fear.

Ask me why these hands do anything, and it’s like Dead Air’s “I Don’t Wanna Die.” That’s from Theresa Walker, to be precise. This is ironic. Because all I want to do is see my son again. And you can ask THEM at the Day Job why I do what I do. Let me fall off a ladder or break my neck doing something. One more reason that we’re talking today. I still hate the place. And if it was between the Day Job and Hell… I’d rent out the Day Job and live in Hell. But my boy won’t be there. So I’ve been asking B III. How do I “See You Again”
hmm?

With Daddy’s two hands doing… Ideas Wait For Busy Hands.

1100 Days Without B III, Day 541 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will