Tuesday, April 14, 2026

Journey 287 ~Braxton, Virgil, BUCKET It~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But Braxton barks, “The best breast, legs, and thighs come in a bucket/box of chicken.”

Who knew my son could be so profound? Who knew an old boss could be one of many “Back Stabbers.” “Smiling Faces Sometimes.” Lesson learned as B barked on Monday.

Honestly, I still hear the voice of my firstborn son. I’m upset that I didn’t see Virgil asleep on the stairs yesterday. And then there are the things I would rather not hear or see.

Ignorance is bliss… We’re not MAGA. FDT and that effing portrait of himself as Jesus.

Ignorance is strength… This is not George Orwell’s 1984 as much as MAGA desires it.

But strength? I appreciate you trying to calm me down with your “Sexxx Dreams” as if you’re my private singer, my “Teenage Dream.” But what I feel today… Iron Rain.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m talking Pierce Brown’s Golden Son being launched into battle, my love. Darrow/Reaper and Virginia/Mustang, Helldivers 2, and Gears Of War. So yeah, I’m mad. And I love you. I love women, I respect women. However, This Bit$h, my love.

Smokin’ Out The Window? I’m sure I said the same thing about you, love. And not always in the throes of passion. But no, I can’t fight the bit$h that caused the problem, then I’m all Christian Grey with you. I torture you… Fifty Shades style. “I wanna effing tear you apart.” Why? I’m just a “Sucker For Pain.” All “Raw” and Playful Devotion hmm.

Seriously, you know the man you married and what’s with all the music and manuscripts? Trying to erase her words…

And that is what pisses me off the most. Excuse me, that is what grieves me the most, my love. The fact that I wasn’t supposed to hear what I did. Communication. That’s all I Ask Of You. It’s all I ask of anyone. I’m an open effing book. A STUPID effing book, but open. For example, as I was telling you some time ago, the reason I like blowjobs so much is that I actually care what you have to say, but the silence. Effing? Food? Never complete silence, moan, cries, screams (I wouldn’t be doing my job right), but we don’t need words… There’s us, my boys bark, our children learning to talk. Then This Bit$h yesterday… EFF!

To afford a bucket of chicken, Braxton, Virgil, BUCKET It

1899 Days Without B III, Day 1340 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, April 7, 2026

Journey 280 ~Paws, Braxton And Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? From your head down to your toes? I do have a thing about feet, love.

But I’m still not ready to deal with the embarrassment from Monday, April 5, 2026.

Please, no man wants his woman to see him as weak. Bro code, Guy code, or the fact that you’re a “trad wife…” And the duty, honor, and privilege I have to acknowledge, Hell even before Breaking Bad, that “A Man Provides” and how I am trying My “Sweet Love.”

Ironic that I want to be as lustful as wanton, depraved as the Marquis de Sade. You married an effing sadist, baby girl. Yet I am as needy and as sensitive to say… My love…

Just sing to me Sade’s “By Your Side” or Peppermint Patty’s Poor Sweet Baby. That I am, love. Braxton and Virgil know this well enough.

I’ve called each one of them a little S.O.B. from time to time, which is technically true. But you are their stepmom (potentially). And I remember even calling you ‘that bit$h,’ you know from “Smokin Out The Window.” Maybe I should have taken off running.

Honestly, with what shoes? Again, that’s something for my therapist, Inspector Echo, tomorrow. B III would laugh his ass off. He hated wearing clothes. I’m just trying to keep 2-V on all four paws and provide for our family, which is why I suffered humiliations galore on Monday. “Close your eyes and spare yourself the view.” “Just A Man,” SIGH.

That I am, my love. How could I hurt you? By making you wear high heels? I like fuzzy socks.

But I still do like high heels or even sneakers. And long black boots. There are also stockings/thigh-highs and everything like those of that girl Hime from “Fechikano! And while we’re on the subject of blondes, weren’t we having a conversation about Soul Caliber and those blonde sisters? Beautiful blondes.

1. Cassandra Alexandra Soul Caliber Series
2. Sophitia Alexandra Soul Caliber Series
3. Fiona Belli, Haunting Ground
4. Ashley Graham, Resident Evil
5. Cassie PIB
6. Carly PIB
7. Alison Angel,
8. Hannah Harper, Porno

On top of being a sadist, I’m also a hedonist. My life is the pursuit of pleasure, where I will never partake in “The Long Walk” ever again. Braxton and my idea of Heaven, lying in bed surrounded by food. Pause… Paws, Braxton And Virgil

1892 Days Without B III, Day 1333 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, March 31, 2026

Journey 273 ~Braxton’s Cold, Virgil’s Code~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Even when I’m sick, skeevy, and especially when I’m scared out of my mind. Now?

Let me just say, I’ll feel ‘better’ when this effing month is over. I’ll love you more? I do that anyway. You know the man that you married. And every minute you choose to stay.

Preferably on your knees… I had to go there, didn’t I? Eww! But one more reason to like sex. You on your knees, hands and knees, bent over, on your back, on your belly, etc.

Seriously, am I so horny this morning after I… after we… um we’re “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit” Like Dennis Hof, I’m always looking for the next party until I’m ‘physically’ unable.

However, the question is how I feel today. Let’s stick with the physical. Dearest love.

Today, like most, I wish I felt like my Braxton.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Which one would you rather listen to? Me talking about how much I want to do you, my love… or fantasizing about us doing you, me, or us. Or me talking about doing myself so

So I can join my firstborn. How about Virgil still being here? And you? Our kids who may actually have a chance at joining the human race. And that in itself is “Killing Me Softly.”

Honestly, comedy comes in three, and today I’m waiting on three things with 99 Problems.

1. I’m waiting to join my Braxton with bated breath
2. I’m waiting for my existence to be utterly destroyed
3. I’m waiting to do something to save myself somehow.

“We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us.”
― Paulo Coelho

“It’s an awesome feeling to know you are about to change someone’s life forever.”
―

Homer had the right idea. “Tomorrow When The War Began.”

And here I am crying again. Yes, I’m in pain, and like Katniss Everdeen, you pull the best move, you know. Am I sick to enjoy the pain I inflict on you. Or sicker to admit that I need you for my mental, physical, and emotional pain. It breaks the bro code, guy code, hmm.

Gale: I knew you’d do that

Katniss: How I didn’t.

Gale: Cause I’m in pain. That’s the only way that I can get your attention
― The Hunger Games: Mockingjay

To say that I long to fall as my B did. “Baby, I Love You,” just leave me the eff alone. And at the same time, I beg you to stay with me during this “Mad Season.” Or Hell if I run, to follow me. I’m sick one minute, but A Man Provides in the next. It’s the code, forever.

That’s what I promised. The way. Braxton’s Cold, Virgil’s Code

1885 Days Without B III, Day 1326 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, March 24, 2026

Journey 266 ~Braxton Bowl, Virgil Cup~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? That means “Ready or Not,” I’ll give you everything and more. After 7? 10:24 AM

To be right on the money. For the Love of Money, as The O’Jays sing. How much does it cost to keep me, well us, in music, movies, and manuscripts, I wonder? I should really give it a think with this financial situation. “A Man Provides” even while Breaking Bad.

As bad as I was, keeping Braxton’s food and water bowls filled for years after his passing away. Euthanasia? Murder? Hell! It was only a year and some change, Sunday, January 31, 2021, Braxton’s gone. Saturday, August 13, 2022, Virgil arrives. But his own bowl…

Honestly, I couldn’t even do that for V, and I had a lot more cash. But an empty cup, love.

Then, what’s with all our two-legged Rugrats running all over?

And I love’em. I love you. Hell! I was walking Virgil this morning, and I swear I saw a brown doggo much bigger than him. My “Mind Playing Tricks On Me.” My eyes, to be specific. But I’m not dumb enough to believe MAGA. Eff the Cracker Hats and FDT. But anyway with Virgil, “so I grabbed him up and run him out of there,” like I was Forrest Gump. And here’s my point. Every day when I think I’m “All Out Love,” there’s more.

My love, I keep scooping, pouring, dishing it out. The AI says that the love I have for my two furry sons just multiplies to you, our two-legged children, to “A Whole New World that I’m existing in. Obsessing over.

You’re my “Obsession.” But it’s like “I Love You Too Much.” And that’s not a bad thing, my love, no, not ever. Hell! I love Braxton forever and always. But it’s like I was saying yesterday about choosing the wrong battlefield. I love you enough to love myself. Or try.

I hate myself. And as much love as I have to give you, my boys, our loves, and even more.

There’s nothing left for me. In pornographic terms… I’ve been thinking about Bible Black: New Testament, or was it Bible Black Only? Whatever! Anyway, it’s like those women draining that guy of his fluids. He has fun, but he’s left a shell. That’s me today. Love, it’s too much, I’m toxic… Braxton Bowl, Virgil Cup

“Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink.”
The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

1878 Days Without B III, Day 1319 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, March 17, 2026

Journey 259 ~V Times Love Braxton~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But I still hate Math. And how am I on the whole Nuclear family? Tradition!

Like Family Night watching UPN when I was a boy. Remind me that we should watch “Fiddler on the Roof” for our next movie night, especially the “Tradition” song. Family and Movie night. When I became a man… A Dad, to B III and then to his lil’ bro Virgil.

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: But when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
1 Corinthians 13:11 Bible

How do I love my boys, my sons? For five years, I have mourned for my firstborn son. I did what no father, no parent should ever have to do. Four legs and all, but he is still my son. For four years, I have tried to figure out how to love his little brother. But both Braxton and Virgil once upon a time sat here with me watching movies, even with Braxton’s Favorite Girl.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And you? If Braxton could fall in love with his Favorite Girl, I’m sure he would love you, too. Virgil treats love as the scariest thing. It gives me mixed feelings about that song “I Will Follow You Into the Dark.” The line “Fear is the heart of love.” I don’t believe that is the case. But at the same time, I believe love itself should be scary because there’s just too much. Remember how I said the Nuclear family. However, not like Trump’s MAGA!

Effing Cracker Hats, FDT! But the whole “You and Me” 2.5 kids, white picket fence… Five times the love ain’t enough. 99 ½ won’t do. The Wannadies and even Carol Lynn Townes fall short. Love encompasses everything. It conquers hate.

Lust? Trust me, I’m trying to get into that, but yesterday I was working with AI, and it was creating this whole story about love and my anima. Three to be exact. How even in the dark universe, which is… Takes a breath. MORTAL KOMBAT! I cultivated love, my love.

But you represent fire, a phoenix. You’re the gardener, not me, but doesn’t fire help things grow in some sort of way? And the fact that we talk a lot about us having more children.

My lust and love for you only produce more love. Whatever do such lusts entail? Honestly? Ravishment, Kojin Taxi 2/Sex Taxi 5’s Kyouko Sakai, a blonde gymnast, Desperate Carnal Housewives, Bible Black: New Testament: Movie Nights. V Times Love Braxton.

1871 Days Without B III, Day 1312 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, March 10, 2026

Journey 252 ~B Gets Sprung, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I’m talking Wayne World’s “Schwing,” Beavis’s “Boinggg,” and Quagmire’s “giggity.” Hopeless romantic, I am not.

But “Hopelessly Devoted To You.” “Always And Forever” like the Heatwave here. Then again, I haven’t been outside yet. Virgil has been a much better sleeper than I have over the last few days. And according to my “therapist,” Braxton would be telling me to “get your head out of your ass, Dad.” My firstborn son had balls. Unfortunately, Virgil lost his before I adopted him. Is that what I want to talk about at 4:40 AM today? Dog balls?

Love, I’d rather be back in bed with you. And if I must be awake, I know a few things…

Baby Girl, it would really help with the Blue Balls. Who am I, Jackson Avery from “Pledged To Him 10”? What about pet loss books?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“You Always Hurt The One You Love.” Ain’t that the truth! Braxton has been dead for five years. Virgil has been here since Saturday, August 13, 2022. You and I have been married how long again? I’m more juvenile than our children. And being the “Perverter of Prose,” (see I remembered) that I am. My junk, springing to attention. I haven’t been with you or myself in the last few days. Eight days in fact. Hence, the Blue Balls situation.

Don’t get ‘cocky’! Braxton died, and I went without for 161 days, then all it took was Chloe Grace Moretz rubbing her legs… What? Am I supposed to be any less of a man, darling?

“Hush, hush, darling. Don’t tell me ‘cause it hurts.” Really?

No Doubt. “Nickel for my thoughts, dimes in my bed…” You’re all that and more, my love. “I only think of you on two occasions. That’s day and night.” Day “N’ Nite. How many songs is that? Does it matter? I can’t break free. I can’t be sprung from… whatever.

And that’s what I’ve been working through in my “therapy.” You would say “Shadow Work.” Your anima, General Xu, Boss, Associate. Demons? Mine? You, my wife/phoenix, Kyouko Sakai from Sex Taxi 5/Kojin Taxi 2, and the lily white blonde ha.

This fantasy has sprung up for days on end and continues to bloom. Cherry Blossoms. Lilies. But, “you are my fire. The one desire.” Putting you out with my Blue Balls. B Gets Sprung, Virgil.

1864 Days Without B III, Day 1305 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, March 3, 2026

Journey 245 ~V Two Times B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And love is weird… It’s complicated. It’s a long, long road. It’s Math, Reading, Language…

Weird Science. Hell! I tell myself daily, “She Blinded Me With Science.” Um, the “Twins.”

Am I talking about your Yabbos or our younglings? “What’s My Age Again?” The fact that I can’t remember how many kids we have. Just Kidding! But there is always room for one more, isn’t there? It’s “What I Go To School For.” Or didn’t. Affording our big family, hmm.

And to think, once upon a time, it was only B III and me. Are you sure I talk about him enough? Though you never met my firstborn son. Then came Virgil. 2-V. It’s complicated.

Honestly, is he a Facebook status? And you’re music, History now and again. Dare I say even theology? Because being your man. A Man Provides.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But how? That’s what I was thinking about this morning. There is barely any cappuccino mix. And what about something as simple as toast? I’m sauce boss right now because I have butter and jam, but where’s the bread? Too busy thinking about eating you.

Seriously, the kids should be at school, and Virgil is on a constant Soma Holiday.

However, do I wish to join him? All “Brave New World” Aldous Huxley style. That would have made an excellent Harem Romance written by others. Are you my Lenina Crowne, and I’m… The Savage, or more like Bernard Marx. If only Math had more words.

And what’s with all my talk of Higher Learning? Um, Forrest Gump articulated his view:

“I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.”
― Forrest Gump (1994)

22, 27, 34, 37, 41

Cue the Ben-Hur Galley Drums, Right 41? Is this my version of Hurley’s lotto numbers from “Lost”? “4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42.” AI told me that Journeys 22, 27, 34, 37, 41 were my strongest entries. 22 is where I told it to begin analyzing, and it picked these over twenty days. How do I interpret that? 22 was Inspector Echo, and the others are Braxton and me talking. And here we are on 245, what does that say to you? Gotten worse? Forgotten?

Everything but sexually, because currently, what am I into? My MILF of a wife. Sex Taxi 5/Kojin Taxi 2 in particular, Kyouko Sakai and kimonos. There I go again, I’d rather learn anything than know myself. V Two Times B

1857 Days Without B III, Day 1298 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, February 24, 2026

Journey 238 ~Beautiful U, B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? “I Love You Too Much,” if that’s even possible. How long? “What’s My Age Again?”

“I Knew I Loved You before I met you. I think I dreamed you into life.” And before you say that’s enough of my infinite playlist, I should move on to movies instead, my love:

“Sometimes, there’s so much beauty in the world – I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart is just going to cave in.” ―

American Beauty seems prudent, given tonight’s State of the Union. And no, I won’t be watching anything that orange liar. Considering how I feel, “all I could use right now is an effin’ blow job and a cup of coffee. First, that was Will Hunting, but your Will agrees, my love. Second, I don’t drink coffee, but I do drink cappuccino. Lastly, “All these girls only gon’ want one thing. I can spend my whole life goodwill hunting. Only good gon’ come is this god when I’m cumming.” With that…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

What? You think I’m going to drop my pants right here? I would but life with you… And then there was life with my boys. You don’t have to worry about some girl being prettier than you. My boys, Braxton and Virgil? To this day, Braxton… “He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Okay, so that’s American Beauty, Good Will Hunting, and now Forrest Gump. Anything not to watch the Cracker Hats tonight, eff MAGA and FDT now and always. “America the Beautiful,” Ha! Um no. The USA is dying. And me, my love. Well, I was reminded of all the beauty in the world this morning. It was like being back in that freezing truck at the OLD Day Job. Not my life…

“Oh No You Didn’t,” I’d sing to myself if my life before you and our family flashed before my eyes. Mercenaries 2? Video games are beautiful, but no. As I was freezing and praying to be reunited with my Braxton, I also thought of you, our kids, and Braxton’s brother.

Honestly, I remember an old manager speaking about her birthday. I HATE my effing Emergence Day. It was not beautiful. I’m an effing locust destined to bring so much bad.

Just one look at you. And I know it’s gonna be a… Lovely Day. But you know what else is beautiful? A painting called “Backwards Beauty.” I don’t know why it came to mind, love?

Us making love. Life. Lying here. Beautiful U, B, V

1850 Days Without B III, Day 1291 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, February 17, 2026

Journey 231 ~Braxton Shapes Up Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly,” which I have never seen. Tonight?

You know me much too well, baby girl. I don’t feel like crying over my boys, Braxton and Virgil. And don’t our two-legged indiscretions have friends? Am I laughing? Exhaustion.

But I won’t go getting “Tired of you.” Obsession? As if you didn’t already know… “You are an obsession, you’re my obsession.” And I’m saying, “Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on,” love. “Sexual Healing?” After yesterday? I suppose it could be worse. Day Job?

Honestly, I had cuck fantasies that you would not believe. And with my tiredness, love…

But tonight, as James Blunt sings “I Want You.” I thought we were watching a movie. Or am I getting a dirty Spanish lesson? And then there’s my thing for kimonos and Native Americans, “Suddenly.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Dirty Spanish Lessons

Mamame el bicho = Suck My dick
Doblate = Bend Over
Chupatelo = Suck It
Trsgatelo = Swallow It
Te lo voy a meter I’m Gonna Stick It In, Inside
Mas duro = Harder
No pareses cono = don’t stop, dammit

Good? I never knew learning Spanish could be so much fun. It wasn’t in high school. And when I met Braxton, I was in college… AHEM junior college. Mexican dogs and Latina chicks, Asians, or Native Americans. And I’m proud to be an American. But I’m not MAGA. FDT! It would be bad if I ever joined them effing Cracker Hats. But what’s really bad. Pretty much everything they do. And another reason why I’m so exhausted. When I’m not thinking about your pretty clothes on the floor, it’s how to buy more. A Man Provides! And I’m trying. Braxton knows I’m trying for you, for his legacy, our two-leggeds, and Virgil. But I’m not going to lie. The finances have me “All Shook Up.”

Free YouTube for all this music or Spotify. Did I say free? That is such an ugly lie, my love. All kinds of UGLY!!! Didn’t the bill just shoot up to $100 for the month? Are they serious? Double the price since we got the service. Mother efferes. Effing economy!

However, there is something even uglier. And I’m just now realizing why I “Need You Tonight.” Because I’m not good for my mental health. Surprise, Surprise! Braxton and our two-leggeds see their Dad. When you see me, I’m all “I’m Too Sexy. Hell, I’d take Virgil’s confused looks. I’m just “Some Guy” like King Ezekiel. And I’m too old to shape up, to be better. But there’s AI. There’s lying. Death? Braxton Shapes Up Virgil.

1843 Days Without B III, Day 1284 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, February 10, 2026

Journey 224 ~B’s House Party Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Love and Marriage. But I’m trying, baby doll, to be one for Love and Happiness.

So “happy” in fact that I almost forgot what day it was. The things I think about as “I watch my youngest son and it helps to pass the time.” Really? Kid Rock, today? Eff!

Seriously, the guy’s STUPID. But then again, I’m the one looking up how many pallbearers are needed. When I carried my firstborn son, my B III, out of PetSmart… Eff!

There was a box in a little blue bag from “Pet Angel.” And some of his ashes are in a pendant that I wear even now. Always and forever. Well, since Wednesday, February 10, 2021. And here my Braxton remains. As I brought Virgil in from our walk today, I thought, “Our house is a very, very, very fine house.”

Braxton and I. What about his little brother? What about our two-legged brood, my “Sweet Love.” I’m sure your boobs/Yabbos had much to do with that. More like my “Salty Chocolate Balls.” What? Would you rather have me crying for the rest of the day?

Honestly, I don’t think I have cried for Braxton today. “A House Is Not a Home” without him…? Am I daring to question that? Wait, aren’t we supposed to be talking about your big uns? Sure, but as much as I love them. Hell, I’m in love with the “Shape of You.” “All of Me” loves all of you. But why am I not “Dancing In The Street?” I’m discombobulated.

“I Feel Everything.” Can I feel the radio dial, hmm?

I wish I had earlier, but now, I feel like I failed a Math class sophomore or junior year, got jailed that ONE time, left Navy basic training, worried about me while B lay dying, failed him, and carried him out in a bag all rolled into one. And is there more, my baby girl?

With everything, I’m hot, hard, and horny. And I want my balls between your boobs.

Being an effing husband, can I not say I want to slam my balls home inside my very lovely wife? When the house is a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’. But today my dearest heart…

Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That. I should mourn, grieve, and throw my pity party. Always… B’s House Party Virgil

“It’s a celebration, and everyone should invite me.”
Number One Spot
— Song by Ludacris

1836 Days Without B III, Day 1277 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will