Gospel 040 ~Sometimes The Words Are WTF~

I’ve never been one for swearing, but I promise you not a day goes by that I don’t mutter WTF at the smallest to the hugest things like a few minutes ago. “Sometimes The Words Are WTF,” and sometimes it’s best not to say anything at all now

Monday, August 10, 2020

Gospel 040 ~Sometimes The Words Are WTF~

Hundred And Forty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that in and of itself is the concept of WTF. Hell, if you told me when I was a child, I would be right here, SIGH. I don’t want to be a downer Madam Justice but if I only knew… Well, WTF, I’m trying to explain.

As the song goes, “I Feel STUPID.” Take the everyday mundane, like the General Manager running the truck crew. She didn’t remember how to anymore, and there I stood knowing everything. What about the time I wanted to take control of the speaker and play music? Speaking of play, MILF Tres, aka Special K. Every morning I tell her hello, every night I send her a poem from GULP. Now the girl has every reason to ignore me. I checked in on MILF Dos, once or twice, and she blocked me. Should I continue saying, Hi? There’s also the fact that I’m up. Am I talking to you, instead of crawling back into my bed? Is it the fact that I got very close to getting six hours last night? You could call it my envy that I saw Katie o’ Shaughnessy from Youtube getting free stuff from Skybound, WTF.

Yeah, and just like that Madam Justice, I’m turned on. Not only by her but Indiana Evans (Blue Lagoon: The Awakening). Let’s also throw in Sofia Kasuli (Teen Starlet) thank you. Now when I get to “make love” to beautiful women like them, then WTF is this real life? When/If I ever publish one of my many books and start to make some real money? What would it be like to never be scared of walking into the Day Job again because I can leave? Who would I be if I could pay my parents off and say after, “I don’t ever want to see you again?” Of course, I have to turn it right back around to women again. Can I ever say WTF, I’m in love? Yet what would get me, is some girl telling me that she’s in love with the man I see in the mirror every day. Can’t say I know the feeling at all.

A few minutes ago, I told myself I would be reading now. I can commit to the Day Job but to keep a promise to myself or My Dæmon SIGH. Sometimes The Words Are WTF.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 039 ~The Silent Normality, Willie~

Maybe it’s the fact that we all wear masks nowadays, which I’m not opposed to. How about the fact that my new Resident Evil mask came today? There’s always the fact there’s too much noise in the world. The Silent Normality, Willie

Sunday, August 9, 2020

Gospel 039 ~The Silent Normality, Willie~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you’re still “normal.” If anything, you’re wondering how many times Grammarly is going to nail you for using that word. Hell, how many times will Hemingway ding you for using any speech that uses LY, right?

Now that in a roundabout sort of way brings you to today’s point. You wouldn’t be living if someone wasn’t telling you what to do. Yes, myself included, because I want to ask you to ignore us all. I wish I desire, I aspire to tell you this, but it would only be more noise. The Banality of Evil as the song plays. Because that’s what silence is, normal, hell Willie becomes. Do you know why you await the DEAD? They’re silent. I swear they are exactly like you, look at last night. Fapping away, what did you feel afterward… nothing? There you go, grunting in bed, which is only a step above walking into the Day Job. Everyone looking at you like you’re a beast, doing the same thing. It’s like something out of Land of the Dead, you’re pretending to be alive. One more reason you like it when it’s raining and living in this the time of Coronavirus. Still, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 034 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late, by Colleen Hoover
    Completed

Rule #2 states, “You Are Not A Caveman.” Despite what everyone thinks, there is nothing wrong with SILENCE. The problem lies with the fact that NORMAL sucks, and again those words are synonyms. You see, while you should be allowed to embrace the silence. I’m telling you to accept the normal, and that dear fellow cannot be tolerated. That’s what the Day Job is. I applaud us both for getting out of bed. You’re sitting here listening to Calmed by Nature like in some coffeehouse. Only you’re struggling, and it’s going to get worse. You started back reading that W. Anton book, which means you finished “Too Late.” Yay, you but reading for a day and it being something you’ve read before is normal. It’s one more word for dead. Speaking of which, the graveyard, which is Six Impossible Things.

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them by W. Anton

Now with books, what about the “good book.” They say meek shall inherit… Now I don’t like that, but anything at this point beats normal, silent, and dead. All anyone talks about now is going back to that status quo. Not you, though. You’ll stop being The Silent Normality, Willie.

“Hungry people eat lunch, humble people serve it.” Johnny Cage

Most Hated Words: (My Newspeak List)

  1. Stupid
  2. Skeevy
  3. Fear
  4. Anxiety
  5. Creepy
  6. Normal
  7. Merge
  8. Happy
  9. Family-Friendly
  10. Just Kidding
  11. Tease
  12. Freak
  13. Lazy
  14. Sucks

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 038 ~A Touch Of Will~

Promises of soft hands. The feel of fresh sheets and the little fuzzball that’s running around here when my kid isn’t plopped down in my lap. SIGH, if only I would publish my book, I’d have all the space in the world. “A Touch Of Will”

Saturday, August 8, 2020

Gospel 038 ~A Touch Of Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so you would think I have a touch of class. It’s been my experience that I find a touch of cash a lot more palatable. I’m sure I’ve told this story quite a few times. When I was a child, I’d dole out hugs for money.

So what, unconditional love isn’t enough? Now when it comes to my childhood, I wasn’t too keen on “puppies,” either. Not talking about Yabbos, hell, I’ve loved them since I first saw a “Jet” magazine. I mean actual dogs. I came back from school once and found my grandparents had gotten a dog. I suppose most children would be ecstatic. In my experience, I went running scared and jumped on the bed, where he couldn’t reach. Okay, so why am I waning all nostalgic? I Love My Dæmon Like Pancakes always and forever, but oh, give me patience. He’s an old man that only wants to be close to me, but sometimes it’s like I can’t breathe. The last thing I wish in this life is to be alone. Even now, I feel smothered today.

Is it any wonder that I’m enjoying living in this, our plague era? Why even now I wait for the zombie hordes to descend. How about taking my chances when it comes to The Purge? What about the fact that I’m into BDSM? Yes, I know Lady Lu that I broke again last night. It was a mix between MILF Tres, Momokun, Cherry, and St. Louis Luxurious Wheels. One of these girls is not like the other, am I right? My point is this. I can’t stand for something, someone so beautiful to touch me physically or emotionally, I know.

People say I wear my heart on my sleeve. My grandma would say I have so much pride. Someone even told me I have an ego. How can one person feel so insignificant? Yet in the same breath, see themselves as the center of the universe? It’s like my light is the size of a mustard seed. My face is that of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I cover that with the most monstrous things I can imagine. The concept is they all hurt in one way or another, and my body can’t take it.

Yes, I’m touchy but money, mammaries, and my mattress? If but A Touch Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 037 ~Mother Of Excuses Will~

Even if I made that billion dollars I’m always professing to have, I’m sure my Mom would not be pleased I live my life “This Way.” Only being a starving artist ain’t winning me any points either. “Mother Of Excuses Will”

Friday, August 7, 2020

Gospel 037 ~Mother Of Excuses Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should be reading more. One of my favored motivations talks about how Warren Buffett reads for six hours a day. We all know that Oprah Winfrey is obsessed with books. I wanted to fashion myself after Bill Gates and at least read a book a week. Here it is another Friday, and I haven’t picked up my latest book, “Too Late.” Once again, I haven’t looked at “For A Fine, Cherry Spread” since I won Camp NaNoWriMo. Now the question is, why haven’t I? My how time flies.

As the song goes, “I came up with a million excuses.” No, Lady Sophia, I don’t miss the Day Job. As a matter of fact, I’ve been kicking myself all this week, worrying. Dale Carnegie must be rolling in his grave. I don’t see myself as Asa Jackson and his obsession with Sloan. Let’s keep it real. Every Erotica I read, the guy is “infatuated” with the girl. You know what I wanted to say, but Grammarly would have dinged me for using the same word. Anyway, MILF Tres, aka Special K, said she wanted a guy “passionate” about her. I am… with seeing her Yabbos again and totally naked. Sigh, before I head down a Dirty Diana train of thought, hell, it’s taken me a week to clear my inbox. I’m almost there. Only would my mother be proud?

That leads me to today and the reason I’m not reading or writing. What we’re doing, Lady Sophia is having a conversation. Last night, I had this bad dream, which is pretty different because it was one of my “Sexxx Dreams” thanks, Lady Gaga. Did I ever mention how kickass Sick Fux By Tillie Cole is? So I was doing something pretty “effed” up. I’m not sure what it could have been… well, again, I’m trying to keep it in my pants. In the dream, though, my Mom caught me, and um, that was that. You know how I conceive any vision, Lady Sophia. They serve as messages, most of the time, warnings. This dream might not even have anything to do with my mother. Yesterday I was talking about MILFS Uno, Dos, and Tres. All I know is, this morning, I wanted to get back reading. If only to dream of something other than the Mother Of Excuses Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 036 ~Six Feet Of Will~

Last week I talked some about PMO, uh yeah back to square one or day one and what about MILFs Uno, Dos, and now Tres. One doesn’t speak to me, two blocked me, and three, I’m living on a prayer. “Six Feet Of Will,” hell seven inches or more.

Thursday, August 6, 2020

Gospel 036 ~Six Feet Of Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so you wouldn’t think I’d be so forgetful. From the look of past conversations, this day would seem unimpressive. Dirty Diana, it’s only “Another Day,” as I would say at the Day Job. Today though, is the day I realized I lost her. The Basic Bitch and as usual, this was at night while my dick was hard. If only I knew then my days would get harder. It was the same with the Rainbow Girl, MILF Dos and more. So today, why not talk about the things that shouldn’t get me hot and bothered.

Of course, there are my enemies… Well, I shouldn’t call them that, I mean it’s not like I hate them. As I said, today was a bit off, and I found the Basic Bitch by accident. I bet she would get off knowing that I still ogle her body. It would probably disgust MILF Dos. I remember being in the shower, thinking about her in her sports bras. All the time, moaning “Dirty Mom Tits.” I actually have pictures of those fantastic Yabbos she sent. While Okay and Cherry never officially blocked me, I have a picture of Okay naked. Hell, I would kill to see Cherry’s Yabbos, no doubt.

Speaking of friends, I have seen or wanted to see naked. I was so close to M Anime. One of these days she’s going to wind up hating me. Can I say how annoying it is when girls talk to you like you’re their gay best friend sometimes? No problem with gay people, only I’m not. MILF Tres doesn’t treat me as such. For the record, Okay is MILF Uno, Capital A is MILF Dos; (killing me with that body of hers). Special K (cereal or Breakin’ movies) is MILF Tres. I got a shot at fucking her… I hope.

After women who more than likely hate my guts and moms, what’s left? There are dirty stories that happen to be true. I talked about Court once, one more reason I couldn’t be a cop. Do you remember Rainey Summer Day from The Five? Yeah, that was fiction, but I still FAP to her stories, mainly fucking her “step-dad” reverse cowgirl (drools). Sigh, like Trump, I can’t talk about Russia…

Oh yeah, I still want to have a threesome to have Six Feet Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 035 ~Will’s Behind The Times~

Most of my life is spent trying to keep my behind out of the fire. While I’ve accepted the fact that I’m going to Hell, second circle, if anything, I’m still so hot here and not because of the plague. Will’s Behind The Times.

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Gospel 035 ~Will’s Behind The Times~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I don’t have to rely on WebMD. For the record, I don’t recommend anyone read WebMD. There’s a reason I now know what Proctitis is. Let’s just say Ranch Wings and Ghost Pepper Sauce, while tasty is not a good combo. You also know Inspector Echo; I am not one for toilet humor. I’m getting it out of the way, at least. As per usual, I get a lot grosser gee I wonder why. By the end of this week, I suppose I’ll be crying about a girl again.

Another one, you say? She broke me. I’ll admit, well no, it was Talin Shields (Blow Slow Talin) that did it. If you look her up, that’s your fault. Anyway, Talin broke my streak, and the new girl broke me last night. I’ve been burning ever since restarting NO FAP and all. I need to be mindful when it comes to my shifts in mood. My Dæmon is being a little badass, and I don’t know why. He didn’t get to sleep in my bed last night, and as we speak, he has his behind on the floor. I can’t explain it but considering I’m out of bed for once. Now I’m still running behind schedule, and you know how I hate being late for anything. It’s not like you’re paying me and speaking of which, what about the things I want to do for a living? I haven’t even looked at “For A Fine, Cherry Spread” since Camp NaNoWriMo.

If you’re looking for something a little more light-hearted? Okay, let’s consider I have a heart how about Starbucks Frappuccino? I had a craving yesterday, so I bought a four-pack, but they’re smaller than the standard bottle. Imagine my surprise and annoyance. Hell, I’m looking for anything to avoid talking about how I stabbed myself in the back. Yeah, I suck at the whole, giving myself a pat on the back. Now you remember MILF Dos, and who doesn’t? I was trying to be kind to her by speaking every day. Well, now we don’t speak at all. So yeah, I have the new girl and what was the phrase that pissed her off. AHEM… Can’t believe you live like this. At least I know why she’s mad at me.

Yes, Echo I’m an ASS, always Will’s Behind The Times.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 034 ~Will Hits New Lowe’s~

Last night, yet again different woman, same situation as in me, saying something I shouldn’t have. My kid and I hate sudden loud noises, but everyone seems to hate anything I have to say. “Will Hits New Lowe’s,” how do I soundproof my life?

Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Gospel 034 ~Will Hits New Lowe’s~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so we have our home with our own private beach. We also have a house out in the woods with a crystal blue lake out front. Now keeping in mind that I can’t swim. You also know how I am about feet. There’s also the fact that while I don’t hate sand, like Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader. I only tolerate it… Okay, let me start over because I’m putting my foot in my mouth. Let’s talk about something like household repair, hmm.

Yeah, what would I know about that? I’m only looking to make noise, I guess. Much like my writing, I’m more about looking the part. I need a decent pair of work boots because I’m sure I’ll do a lot of stomping around, running away. Hell, one will end up in my ass. Excuse my language, Baby Doll, me and my big mouth, and that’s my problem. Last night I talked about never lying to you. There are things I don’t want to tell you. No matter what, though, I always end up hurting you, even texting. Might as well have a clean phone. As the song goes, Love Is An Open Door, yet I need more of them and locks. What, am I trying to find someplace to hide from you Love? Like the horror movies I love, the monster gets the girl or the hero, and I’m not sure which I am on any given day. I’m trying to build us a home.

One more reason I’m a billionaire, so I can pay someone else to do it. I’m sure I could use a paintbrush only don’t hold me to that. Christian Grey’s playroom shone red, but with ours, I want to “Paint It, Black.” The only time I don’t worry about words, albeit a safeword. You know how “chains and whips excite me” well, us isn’t that right, Baby Girl. The things I want to learn for both of us. I can’t change a tire; I know a little bit about changing the oil. I’m nobody when it comes to plumbing… in a house. I love my firstborn like pancakes, but I couldn’t build a doghouse. I’m no farmer, but with things as of now, I’m going to have to learn more than growing black roses too.

Not avoiding you Love but talking Will Hits New Lowe’s.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 033 ~Women Always Find The Truth~

If I lie, she’ll make things up, if I’m honest, she’ll think I’m a million times worse, so yeah, I’m lying. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day, as THEY say, that wouldn’t be a lie, but wouldn’t I still be hiding facts? Women Always Find The Truth

Monday, August 3, 2020

Gospel 033 ~Women Always Find The Truth~

Hundred And Forty-Eight Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I better be if I don’t intend to live mine alone. Does that sound like I don’t have a high opinion of women? Madam Justice, I pay them the highest ideal of all, I tell them the TRUTH. Now, why hasn’t LIE made it to my Most Hated Words list? I know the value of lies, yes. I lie to save my behind. So I’ll lie at the Day Job, to my “father” and even to myself. Hell, I even lie to my Dæmon. He got me singing, “I know, I know, I know.” Like any woman, though, he knows the truth of what I am.

For the longest time, I figured I was scared of women but not for the reason that they may think. I’m shy, I’m an introvert, I suffer from Social Anxiety, take your pick. You want the truth, how about another song, “Everybody knows I’m a motherfucking monster.” Pardon my language Madam Justice, but again I’m only being honest. I can go all-in on a guy only wanting one thing, and that’s true enough. I believe in the primal instinct. On the basic level, men and women come together for one thing, and everything else is born of that, not only children. Only people pretend everything else and for what, to deny themselves? I have seen it firsthand. My words in the hands of someone else and as fast as you can say Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off. So why would I waste time lying?

I respect a woman for her intelligence… at least I try. I’m still thinking about that video I watched on being CREEPY. So I’m supposed to lie my entire life, never take a free breath, be trapped because of the concept of nature vs. nurture? I always take responsibility, but I would work for all the money in the world than kill myself off. I’m not suicidal, but anytime I felt that way, it’s been because of other people. You can’t tell a woman that right off the bat. Neither can I tell her everything I want to do to her. The idea though that I want to fuck her, well, she knows. More to me lies (sigh) Undiscovered. And I know I sound like one of those women-hating freaks, but I love women, and Women Always Find The Truth.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 032 ~Will Sees OTHER People~

As the song goes, He Lives In You, but that means you have to wake up at some point, so what time is it? Hopefully, it’s not midnight by the time you’re posting this as tomorrow you want to see a better man in the mirror. Will Sees Other People.

Sunday, August 2, 2020

Gospel 032 ~Will Sees OTHER People~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but did you take your Dæmon for a walk today? Well, I hope you’re proud of yourself, soggy socks and all. One day, you should complain about the sidewalk path. How about, you know, marching with Black Lives Matter or doing anything to help the world? Again be proud that it’s 3:30 in the afternoon, and we’re actually having this conversation. Always the same one about being a better man. Only like I alluded to last night you have to say goodbye to the old one, me.

You have to stop trying to be a spokesmodel for the My Pillow Guy. Not that you would ever buy from him. What I mean is, where are you right now? You’re still in bed, wanting to fall back to sleep. If you’re going to stay awake, well, you know what does that right? So are you getting over Cherry? I mean, she wasn’t your girl or anything. God bless girls that want to show off their Yabbos. Now Fapping is a no go, but at least you’re no longer drooling over the possibility of Cherry’s Yabbos. To all of you, American Girls, as the song goes. Who’s thinking about the UK anyway? You’ll never be like Trump, forgetting all the world, but are you going to do something this week to help your country? Will you become a black man of substance, of worth, start with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 028 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 034 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Complete My Novel For Camp NaNoWriMo On Monday
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late, by Colleen Hoover
    Failed

Well, as you can see, I didn’t but two out of six. As you look on, that’s why I’m proud of you already. You’re going to see more of the man in the mirror, and you’re not going to look away. I want you to stand eye to eye with him and, once again, my sin, have PRIDE. Don’t be the man that chased Cherry away or MILF Dos. A girl saw enough in you and in me to share her body in a photograph. Yet you stand afraid that she’s playing you or that something will happen. You know that old saying of being a great man, be a man and let history judge. Don’t ever forget your son because you are his father. You chose him, and he deserves so much better from you. Your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 034 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late, by Colleen Hoover

The old you is gone. It’s like you refuse to see Will Sees OTHER People.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 031 ~I’m One Will Away~

Another week has come to pass, and I’m still not going to bed at a decent hour. I know the way, but I don’t have the will to work and hell wasn’t I doing the Day Job this week and 5000 words the last one. I’m One Will Away, from going crazy

Saturday, August 1, 2020

Gospel 031 ~I’m One Will Away~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but do I have the will to stay there? Lady Lu, there’s what you have to do, what you could do, and what you want to do. As the saying goes, you know, will meet the way and all. My motivations ask, what do you want?

I have no passion for the Day Job, but I find the will to get out of bed and go. Tonight I’ll say, has been pretty decent and then my “father” called. Do I call it will or fear the reason I answered it? All the money I need to be saving and yet here I go again staying out longer. People talk about being an adult is all about making these choices. You do what must get done. Again my motivations say, if you do what’s easy, life is hard. If you do what’s hard, life will be easy. So that demands the question, what am I complaining about. Yeah, I hate the Day Job, but when I know where I stand with it… With my “father” hell, that’s accepting the worst-case scenario. For the record, he called me about “Quidditch” duh. I take it he wanted to humiliate me. Of course, staying out to go to McDonald’s is no damn good at all.

Now, what could I be doing tonight other than waiting for this new girl to break me? I could have been finishing Colleen Hoover’s book. What about emptying out my exploding email? I could try getting to bed at a decent hour, which already isn’t happening. No, I spent most of today sleeping, and if not, that I’ve been hard. I could have walked My Dæmon. I swear the boy is being quite the little trooper. Next week will be easy, but do I have the will to do what is hard dear Lady Lu.

You know what I want to do. I want to write books full time. One day I want to own a cathouse. I want women begging me to see them naked. One more reason tonight has been “excellent.” Still, I want my hands on my keyboard and not in my pants. I’ll even settle on my zombies, finally coming to fruition. For this to happen, all these wills have to go. The Settler, Mr. I Don’t Feel Like It, the Wisher. I’m One Will Away.

I Will Have No Fear