Log 160 ~A Will In Motion~

One more considerable night of sleep, eight hours when I wanted to choose six but falling back to sleep, well that got me nowhere; still I was on time today to write about well, my spinning mind. A Will In Motion

Sunday, December 8, 2019

Log 160 ~A Will In Motion~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and when you Find Me, bring something for the Motion Sickness. That is a step in a forward direction. I remember playing Super Mario 64 and getting so sick that night I asked my “father” to take it back to the rental place. Next thing you know, I’m shooting cultists in Far Cry 5 and eating a turkey dinner afterward. Speaking of the Old Man, have you thought any more about talking to him about the car? How’s your ear considering you’re on time for our conversation, so you skipped the shower?

Well, between Cerberus, Medusa, Maenads, and Dutch’s Island not much? Now isn’t this the problem right here? You have a 50,000-word story in front of you. So you move on to the next one without a look in the rearview. When moving forward, where are you going, I ask? You hate looking back at your past work, I know. Nearly all of your motivations talk about having to forget about your past. You know what they mean, of course, because your novels are your future. I applaud you Will for being on time today. There’s always a, but in there, I know. But you were up at 4:00 AM, that was on time, and you had the presence to drink a root beer and down some gummies. Next thing you know, you’re back in bed until 6:30 when you decided to play TWD. What about, well your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Failed

Last week I mentioned excuses, you didn’t check the car because there was McDonald’s. You’ll leave it alone this week until you knock something off this list. Oh, and don’t forget to check that you’re still with a “specific” reading group. No need to sugarcoat this considering the list, as this isn’t in the “Family-Friendly” category. For example, “Rule 34,” I met that woman in Walmart, and it was like something out of SIGH “Adult-Entertainment?” I’ll need to get the car towed perhaps, and there are videos for that too; how hopeless are you, Will? I do mean in your viewing habits. You’re not going back to Brainbuddy. Between Mom’s birthday present and Indiana Gone’s birthday, wedding, and Christmas. How about the Dæmon’s gift? As always, your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

I should have come as the ghosts of Christmas, Past, Present, Yet To Come. Mind spinning, A Wheel In Motion.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 290 ~Gifts From Will’s Universe~

Some people say I have a gift, one I want the world to open, hell I buy pretty girls books all the time but right now the UNIVERSE is my publisher, and I’ve missed a few deadlines except for Camp NaNoWriMo. Gifts From Will’s Universe

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Episode 290 ~Gifts From Will’s Universe~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Millionaire right now. At least I tell the UNIVERSE every morning in my Spotify playlist “Show Me The Money.” My first sin being that I can’t hold myself to every lesson I have learned. In writing, how many erotic books have there been? W. Anton’s “The Manual” and now “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne.

The Universe gives us what we ask for and I “HAVE” money. I lost an off day, so I could go into work and make more. Still, it would have been better if I was working on my novel I know. The ideas continue to flow. I find the strength to work on my story until the midnight hour. Keeping up with Camp NaNoWriMo and I give you my word Inspector Echo that I will get it done, whatever it takes. As far as my attitude towards money, there is always enough to go around. One of the many affirmations I tell myself. The truth is positive vibes can be as exhausting as rage, fear, and indeed so much more.

I ask for notoriety, and at the same time, I hide. A coworker did hear my singing today. There was a “fan” on Whisper. Only there’s always my manager (still didn’t have the guts to tell him I hate to be touched). Anyway, why didn’t I stand up at the huddle? To get rid of that mixture of anger and terror, this morning someone or something attempted to sign on to my email. While I’m thinking a list of things I have, I should have a lineup of things that have lost my loyalty. Of course 5-hour ENERGY, my ISP, Day Job, etc. I almost took care of that myself with my book notes I was keeping. If anyone found it, I would be plenty screwed, another gift of time.

One more thing I’m not doing being back on Brainbuddy. Though I’ve slept through most of my meditation and audio exercises this week. I’m still living clean, but I have had a few touch-and-go moments. Mostly in the morning. As far as those notes for the unnamed title, how would I ever be able to explain myself? If anything I shouldn’t have to what business is it of theirs so:

Unnamed

  1. Closed, Clothed And We’re Coming
  2. You Break Her You Fuck
  3. Who Is The Perverted Proprietor?
  4. Bedtime Damsel Without Her Dress

Forgive me Inspector Echo I’m grateful, Gifts From Will’s Universe.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 178 ~A Professional Eraser Will~

Writer’s Block, yeah in a way because I have no clue what I was thinking today and then we had yesterday, I broke out of my place, got into a present, and of course cracked open one more book, and became someone else, sigh. A Professional Eraser Will

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Episode 178 ~A Professional Eraser Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, well when I was in school, I had a friend they called SKINS, don’t ask me why, that memory sigh deleted, erased… but I don’t think it was because he was “hitting the skins,” anyway he wanted to be a hitman, an eraser. The things young men think about and in so doing since I can be anything I want even at my age I decided that I wanted to be a writer and that in itself is sin number one.

Now, this is more Lady Sophia’s barrel of laughs, but there is not a doubt in my mind that writing is what I’m meant to do so sin number two, what have I been doing all day besides sleeping… anyway living out my purpose has led to two things. For a third sin I don’t recognize who I am most days, hell in my last story we have a brothel owner, wolf boy, a MILF doctor, and inspirations from MOLD. My fourth sin is overthinking, the “man” talking to you now with the stomachache, the kid on his lap, and who is hyped up on an energy shot is the same one who is slamming his head on a steering wheel on Christmas morning yesterday.

“Cogito Ergo Doleo” I Think Therefore I Suffer, how many people do I know speak Latin but it’s not going anywhere and don’t I want to be immortal as a writer and yet my words are probably sitting in some old church lady’s glove box, in police reports, my name in some girl’s blog. So what is today’s point; well you’ve heard me talk about my “White Wall Theory” you know, scribbling on my skull, reading books, and of course, writing, and in one way I’m “trying” to erase myself, write over it, lose myself between the lines of “code.” Which leads to my fifth sin, my Motivations are saying that everything you want lies on the other side of fear and so I ask instead of erasing, editing, E-reading, who I am or want to be, shouldn’t I break?

The wall I mean, hell Trump should have hired me because I have built something that keeps out everything and keeps me in an asylum and wondering why the outside is so scary or even who do I think I’m protecting? Hell, “Indiana Gone” bought me the Zombie Survival Crate from Man Crates and if that doesn’t show the man I honestly am, a survivor of the DEAD, the Dominant, a Devil in disguise, but breaking into that crate was far quicker than saying I’ll Break The Walls Down when I rather apologize for all of my weakness Inspector Echo.

I am sorry for my profession and wasting it, for losing myself and hastily rebuilding myself with my overthinking, and keeping all of my fears inside or using them against a wall I can’t break, no A Professional Eraser Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 171 ~Just Facts It Will~

The good thing about writing fiction is I can tell myself a story every night and tomorrow morning and then when it comes to setting my fingers to the task suddenly I have writer’s block so let me tell the truth. Just Facts It Will

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Episode 171 ~Just Facts It Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, for all my “creativity,” “originality,” and porno acumen the FACT is I lack Discipline, Direction, and sigh Desire because I’m still here though the jury is out on my embarrassment, ego, and evil… such “good intentions.”

Now we’ll get to those Inspector Echo, first let’s talk about what happened Monday which I’m still torn up about, my Social Anxiety, Bipolar Depression, OCD… all in my head right, okay so my manager asks me to give this girl (I’ve never met) a hard tag remover. So I walk to the front of the store, see a girl working with a customer and I hang around for five minutes trying to read her name tag because I’m HORRIFIED to ask her name (eyes getting better, nope). Anyway, I end up leaving the device on the farthest register away from her and then coming back to the house; don’t get me started on why they don’t want me opening the store, hell my ANXIETY is libel to get the place robbed, hating my life.

I’m not the only one that loathes MY life, what about my parents; the things they must tell themselves; the house I ran to, they bought, because telling blessed, black, believers that your son is in a mental institution or dead would be too much. Speaking of too much and people I don’t talk to regularly, remember that year I wrote to “REALDOLL” hoping I might get one, $$$ well guess where some of my money is going this year.

Aren’t I suppose to be numbering sins… anyway while I’m counting dollars you say why don’t I give money to charity; now that is a big question but quickly I give money to writers (NaNoWriMo), women (Friends, Workers, Sex or Otherwise), and my world, Step Into A World. I didn’t even get my mother a gift and her birthday was on Dec. 16 and as far as Christmas goes, would I say I hate it, but I bought gifts for all the other women in my life, now if that ain’t a sin. The last fact of the day is how little I know about myself or the fact that everything I want for Christmas is still impossible, immoral, illegal or insane, case and point some girl saying Let Me Be Your, Siren, or Detroit: Become Human; what I bought it for someone else right.

So may you forgive me Echo my apparent lack of triple D’s but abundance of E’s, my embarrassing workday which goes to show why I will not go up for promotion, though I owe so many, my charitable connotations, I am grateful to my mother dearly but what a child she gave to the world, a man… didn’t I say Echo, Just Facts It Will.

I Will Have No Fear