Log 365 ~No Ma’am, That’s Will~

I can’t say I have much experience, meeting a girl’s parents, and after all, I’m still in mourning over one mom. At my Day Job, it’s nothing but “Yes Ma’am” and “No Ma’am.” You would think I have creative pet names. “No Ma’am, That’s Will.”

Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Log 365 ~No Ma’am, That’s Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because I never want to say, “no Ma’am” ever again. I don’t want to say yes Ma’am or Sir, either. Do I sound, disrespectful, delusional, or dumb? When I first met you, what did I say? Was I smooth like Luther Vandross. “Excuse me miss, but what’s your name?” I’m not as young Tevin Campbell was when he sang, “Can we talk for a minute, Girl I want to know your name.” Now shall I get all poetic with William Shakespeare, and what not?

You see My Love and don’t I call you that often enough? Anyway, my mother raised a gentleman with somewhat mixed results. It’s not that I want to be disrespectful to women or my elders, no let them keep all that. One more reason I got out of retail. Now, of course, with the business I’m in, I call women all sorts of things, but I never forget. You Baby Girl, and I know some people consider that title creepy like Baby Doll and the like. Hell, one of my best friends, I call her Honey Bunny. I wonder, does she remember when I introduced her to Pulp Fiction? Ringo/Pumpkin and Yolanda/Honey Bunny. What was I saying about being a gentleman again? A gentleman shouldn’t bring up other women or kiss and tell. I never did that with “The Nine.” As with you and me, though, I’m still not sharing.

Okay, so I’m learning to love my name again. If anything, I love hearing it come from your lips. I could talk about a few other names, but that’s more of a Thursday thing. Again if I ever start scheduling “relations,” feel free to shoot me. However, if you wanted to make a cute pet name for me like Shelby from Girlfriend Reviews for her boyfriend. I would be all for that. What about teaching the kids how to address people? Why can’t they all be like My Firstborn? I’m a Southern Man and as always one for tradition. Not Confederate history, but I mean manners. So yeah, yes sir, no sir, Ma’am or Ms., Please and Thank You. I know Baby Girl, I don’t like dealing with most people. I’m sure our children will have friends calling me Mr. at some point, I’m sure.

I’m a man, lover, friend, daddy, No Ma’am, That’s Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 358 ~Will Schedule You In~

Do you think there’s some woman out there thinking she’s going to change my life forever? For the worse, maybe, but aren’t I the same? One day though, I won’t be the guy in the mask, plain or ski. I’ve never worn a fedora either. Will Schedule You In

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Log 358 ~Will Schedule You In~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what time did it happen? When is the best time to become a father? As much of traditionalist as I am, I’m not one for dinner at 6:00 PM. I don’t want to be someone working a nine to five. With my aspirations, I want to play for twelve hours. You ask me about our family, though. At present, I wake up at 4:00 AM ever morning. Yeah, I’ll offer Dr. Eric Thomas my apologies because 3:00 AM kills me. Hell Baby Girl, if I ever become one to schedule when we make love, feel free to shoot me. Wanting you is an all the time thing; you know me.

One of those other things you know, though, is I’m a stickler for time. When it comes to us, though, well, there’s this thing called forever. I look at our children and being a writer and all, should I say always. At this very moment, I see my firstborn, and still, I haven’t seen his every little hair turn gray. He has a beard, but he’s only growing up. That’s what I’m still trying to do My Love. There are twenty-four hours in each of our days. Only I want to give you more time every minute, every hour, every day. Dare some call this obsession, but why not? I gave a whole week to my depression, and yes, I’m still not over it, I’m afraid to say. Why do I stay up so late? Didn’t someone say, don’t go to bed angry? I’ve talked about having twenty seconds of insane courage as the movie goes. In exchange, I want to offer you a lifetime of happiness, my baby doll.

Only nobody can schedule the hurt… well, a certain kind of hurt mind you. I don’t know the next time I’m going to be afraid. What about the next friend that will send me into a spiral-like last week? I’m becoming a bit like Captain Hook and his fear of clocks. I might even understand how some Christians talk about God’s good all the time. You are My Goddess. As another song goes, I only think of you on Two Occasions. Of course, those are called Night and Day. I never planned on being scary like with you know who. I didn’t plan on loving you, wifey, but one day I said to myself, My Love, Will Schedule You In.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 110 ~Nice Day For Will~

Is it sad that lying in bed and going to my friend’s wedding sound equally appealing but 750+ miles, like the movie Only The Strong one way or another I’m getting in that car and driving another three miles? Nice Day For Will

Saturday, October 19, 2019

Log 110 ~Nice Day For Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s a nice day for a white wedding. Well, how Indiana Gone tells it, more for a Hawaiian dress. She’s Lilo, and she found her Stitch. In honor of today, I want to keep things positive. Talk about the impossible right, sore foot, forgot my chain, spilled food in bed, no condoms, and so on.

I’m still worried about the house’s many flips from my father. Norton is getting on my nerves. My son is in the hands of strangers, getting his heart meds. What about the drive back, that’s no fun, not at all.

Even now, Lady Lu, I’m getting ready to drive over to the venue. Yes, I’m a control freak, and I have to make sure I can make it there and back. We’re talking three miles when I drove over 750 in one day. What about leaving all my stuff here, but I don’t trust any damn body (LANGUAGE). Did I offend The Bride last night, between my foot, forgetfulness, and fatigue? At least I won’t have to worry about dinner tonight, but I’ve barely kept anything down. I’m all for Subway and helping my fellow man, but I still threw away half a sub. So is that it, am I done complaining? I only want to get it all out before I head into this wedding this afternoon. I should smile my fucked-up smile (LANGUAGE). I did text M. Anime back and got myself ready to go. Lady Lu with today well, This Is It.

Funny, I think of Michael Jackson; I owe The Bride a dance. The weather is nice, and again with my foot, it doesn’t hurt so much. The bed here is comfy, and I did get a bit of breakfast. Now that was something I didn’t dare to do at the Courtyard by Marriott. I should feel like I’m ready to take on the world, well 750 miles of it, right. Even talking to you right now because I’m sure I’ll be entirely out of it by tonight. No drinking and driving Lady Lu; besides I drank with Indiana Gone once, one glass of wine, and I’m a lightweight. Later that night and that morning I was praying at the Porcelain Altar. Okay, I’m going to have fun today, I’m going to be SHUDDERS Happy. You should add “Merge” to my lists of dirty words, Luna.

Today, Nice Day For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 275 ~But Will I Love~

I hate my day job so I’m always ready to run out of there but I love my writing, and that’s why I’m sitting here at, what time is it; and of course I wouldn’t leave the right woman, won’t go getting tired of her. “But Will I Love”

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Episode 275 ~But Will I Love~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, well movie seats are getting comfier. I can’t say that buying furniture is my forte. One day I should give it a chance. I’m always tired, and B III has a bunch of cozy spots. I’d make falling in love easier.

“THEY,” say it took everything for Malcolm X to kneel before Allah. My backside still hurts from being knocked to my knees before the altar. (Why I don’t believe in spanking children; another story). The fear though. I was scared I would hurt Triple B being on his level. I was terrified that I wasn’t enough when I got down on one knee for you. For now, with our other kids, I know I don’t have all the answers. Scraped knees, falling ice cream cones. You know how I am cleaning. Still, while I want to be the dad that reads to them every night, I again worry. You know maybe this is why Santa only does it once a year, getting the big plush chair. His suit made for more than warmth. You know I hope you’re sitting down for this one. The truth is simple and like most truths offensive. LOVE IS EXHAUSTING.

Is that a mean thing to say? I don’t love my Day Job that’s why it sucks having to take breaks. I was ready to yell at my boss, so I wasn’t “having a seat.” I hate that sound of my knees cracking as I’ve been there so long. Love is when I kneel to pet B III. When I hold him in bed as he cries because I don’t know what else to do. Every refilled dish, rubbing his belly, playing the monster when he wrestles with his toys. Again being the father who knows someday the kids won’t need me to read to them. How about being told to sit in waiting rooms for a variety of reasons. Don’t let the kids be like me. Trips to Disney and Universal, did I tell you I hate Space Mountain?

Standing beside you was simple. In comparison looking back how lazy was I when you brought our kids into the world. Such is the strength and courage it took to hold them. There are some jobs, privileges, and honors a person can’t fail. To be weak, to not be perfect. I hold no delusions about myself, but I still cleaned for hours. I don’t want to be sick. I have my real work, my reading, and writing. It’s incredible you read as much as me. Saturday’s we still lie here listening to “Nuclear Pop.” As if I’m living in those days of “The Cold War.” I have to shut myself away from you and the kids in my; not Man Cave. I will forever be a traditionalist, my Study. What did I say; furniture shopping?

What is it “THEY” say about good deeds? I Love You; kids can be a pain in the behind. One kid has fangs. You needn’t ask But Will I Love?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 268 ~A Will Of Curiosity~

I wish somebody knew me as well as my dog, whenever somebody asks me questions about myself, it’s for dirt, if they read me, they are looking for the worse in me, and nobody appreciates my fandoms yet when I ask about someone. A Will Of Curiosity not

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Episode 268 ~A Will Of Curiosity~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, figure out dogs, I know my son. B III loves Milk-Bone MaroSnacks, and Vitamin Treats; hates Dentastixs. He twirls when he does something of merit. He sits outside the bathroom door when I take an evening shower. He knows me, a part of me is sad because like father like son. What you know can’t hurt you. We’re both sticklers at clock-watching; I hate being late; we both want to assess our environments. He loves me, and I love him and when it comes to people?

I believe in love at first sight. So when I first met you as Elton John sang “If I was a sculptor…” Now while I could never excel at science my curiosity, creativity. My craving is never satisfied. Life is about learning. Liking is about belief. Love is both evolution and revolution. However, as you know, I am not a man of faith. If you like without understanding? Well, I’ve said before they make love seem like the scariest monster that’s ever existed; like room 1408. You know I like horror movies. Triple B knows not to bother me during The Walking Dead. You both know that last Sunday’s episode The Calm Before; well nightmares.

You see I want to learn how to love you. I want to know everything, but if you ever asked me how I want to be? You’ll probably beat my ass for saying this (LANGUAGE). Only I want Autumn Reeser, more to the point Taylor Townsend. Yes, I have a thing for brunettes. Okay, even more to the fact, somebody that gets all my references. You know how we can lie here together and rant about what just happened on the show, the horror, the horror sigh. We try to sleep and then we spend the morning watching YouTube videos, venting about the same episode. B III might be my ultimate weapon. How long did it take one of my friends to win him over? Four months, talk about being an excellent judge of character.

Curiosity killed the cat THEY say but satisfaction… One more reason I’m still walking. Why I like zombies and why I love you. So much that my life is an open book and I’ll again tell you I have my secrets. So you drink from the well that is my madness. You sing I want to Sink To The Bottom with you. Or are we Dead In The Water? All this is coming from someone who’s terrified of the water. But why do you scare me so much more? Unlike swimming I’m learning, wanting to know A Will Of Curiosity.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 267 ~Success’s An Option, Failure’s Not~

What do I want at this moment, to get out of a shift at work and at first I would say I’m afraid; no it’s because I don’t want those “people” to get there rocks off making me stupid, that’s a success. Success’s An Option; Failure’s Not

Monday, March 25, 2019

Episode 267 ~Success’s An Option, Failure’s Not~

Seventy-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, as the song goes I’ve Been Everywhere girl. I’ve written love letters, tried songwriting, poetry, short stories, novels even more. You know it started with two words MY NAME. Again with my hypocrisy. I wanted to be a comedian, war correspondent, a pilot, a sailor, even the Secretary of Defense. I suppose if all these things have anything in common, it’s a need to escape. Rewrite the rules, and since I’m on a music kick, I want to Fly Away Madam Justice, I must.

As morbid as this may be, we’re all destined to leave this place one way or another. How many steps do we take while we’re here? I think I’ve seen the ocean, there are pictures, but I don’t remember. There were plenty of trips to Florida with my family. Why yes I’m about to sound like an ungrateful SOB. Only looking back on my life that’s like a prisoner being allowed to walk the yard, once a year. I’ve been to New Jersey, New York, Washington D.C. but these words Madam Justice. Not only the ones I write but the ones that echo in my mind. None of us are free. Now for the first time, I have to travel “On My Own Alone” well with B III, of course.

Do I want to talk about “Indiana Gone’s” Wedding? What about my success? My motivations always go on and on about finding out what you want? Yes, a bestseller, brothel, my slice of Babylon. I want to see the world Madam Justice. Still, here I am scared to death in my own “home.” So this leads me back to escape. Only do I want to outrun my fear, face it down and conquer it, live with it but dare to do so? If it’s not that, success is me wanting to find something but what? That I’m not as STUPID as everyone would have me be. At the moment I wouldn’t mind being Jordan Peele, going that deep with “US.” What about the meaning of life hmm. I found it.

Seek out a kingdom Worthy Of Your Soul. Now when did I forget that? My motivations say that the purpose of life is to be happy. So I could be looking for that. Dare I call that success? What’s one more song or movie, as Eminem put it “Lose Yourself.” I need to get Untethered from the “man” I am. In the end a Carnival Of Flesh or Gold, All I Ever Wanted. Well, a success I’m stopping with the music. With my life Justice, Success’s An Option; Failure’s Not.

I Will Not Have Fear

Episode 261 ~Add It Up, Will~

In love with love, no, how about a girl, as for now, still living that bachelor life, and becoming obsessed with Detroit: Become Human, Crave, and work is killing me; not even enough for a drug habit. “Add It Up, Will,” Love Is All You Need

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Episode 261 ~Add It Up, Will~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, fall in love or didn’t you miss me? Was it a choice? I mean it should be right and dare I say romantic to say it out loud. Only everything points to the contrary. As the song goes, your Love Is My Drug; I like Kesha…

People use words and phrases like, you killed it, slay, and fierce. Then they wonder why some run from love. Now, this wouldn’t be the first time I said something that ticked you off quite considerably. I knew this mom once… anyway, when I saw you, I was downright petrified. Yesterday I talked about what Medusa did to men, turned them to stone. Makes sense that my heart would skip a beat, that I couldn’t catch my breath. Also, my feet were solid concrete slippers. Almost a moment after though I was like a zombie waking up and what was I willing to do to stay alive. When we take our first breath, it’s not a choice. Everything we are makes this demand, sometimes more, others less but need it.

How many songs, movies, and books preach that love is all we need. Speaking of novels, I’ve told you before I want to love you like one. I want to fill our home with you. I can’t go a second, my watch ticking down to when I’m with you again. Like this morning if you weren’t here. Of course, I would be cursing my clock for waking me up from my dreams of you. My hands would be Jonesing for my Kindle, a pencil, my keyboard to speak to you. I can hear the words Toxic, Poison, maybe even Fever. Would it be better as I say often enough, it’s a disease this thing called love. Hell, it’s damn near a crime unless you’re like one of these “Alpha Males” I read sometimes. Should I be asking for a billion?

No, you would be the Padmé Amidala to my Anakin Skywalker. Only you joined me in front of “God” and some others, and you scare them too, My Love. I wonder did you look me up. Did you want to know all about me? Then again I’m an open book, and you walked in and became my heroine, my muse and love. I want to give you such a life as you gave me. Is that why I was so slow finding you, being this Walker, a Whisperer, and an avid TV/Movie Watcher. The addictions that I gave up and those we indulge in together. I have no more bad headaches from 5-hour ENERGY. My anger fled when I walked out of my day job and was able to begin writing full time. To be with you and our children, and I have never seen anything more beautiful. So yes you are my addiction, infatuation, obsession, I Crave you and what does it cost me… so Add It Up, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 254 ~Will You Maddy Me~

Well this “experiment” is a lesson learned and awfully “creepy,” but I was tired enough to try it out anyway so yeah I may be sticking with the “Dear Future Wife” motif but Amandla Stenberg is hot as Maddy. Will You Maddy Me?

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Episode 254 ~Will You Maddy Me~

Dear Madeline Whittier,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I guess it would help if I learned to speak proper English. Let alone write it, but some things we have to release. My voice, this fear, love, but the rub is I never want to let you go. Ironic that this world is full of things that terrify me. Maddy, you stand at the top of the list yet I’m still here today and always.

Am I cured, the way that I fell for you? I would dream of you. To be beside you at the movies, and the park. You can see that I’m no Luther Vandross at all. Only I must have been seeing and hearing things. The first time I came to believe that we could be together. Enough so that you brought me down to one knee, and I struggled as if this would be my last moment, seeking a breath. To feel a heartbeat, and I asked to borrow yours forever. I became a new man, yours and from this crazy little thing called love. I am not seeking an Escape. Not to Heaven or from Hell. No doctor or God could give me what you have now and forever.

I don’t need a cure for the man I am because I’m the one you love. I promise As Long As You Love Me I’ll be what you need and more. You know it took finding an angel to make me reach for Heaven. Still, I don’t want to go. I want to be here, no matter what this life brings us. Yes, I won’t always be “brawny,” right and bright as you can tell. Still to be yours, the husband, the lover, someday a father to our children, I will make you happy. If anything that is what I want, for you to be “blessed,” that is why I ask you to stay. Because madness it could, would, and should be but if we all learn to love. My what is foolishness would be right and true for us.

Your white dress, the pages I write, the jacket I’d wear. There is not one thing that could convince me otherwise. The word for that is always, for better or for worse. For richer, poorer, in sickness and in health and everything else in-between. This love is everything; you Maddy are everything. So Stay, every time I look in the mirror I ask the man before me to Let My Baby Stay. I will strive to be the man that can make that happen, the moment I knew to ask Love, Will You “Maddy” Me.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 247 ~Babe Will Baby Will~

I was “The Walking Dead” at the Day Job this morning, and I asked myself, why do I do it, besides keeping BIII and myself fed; he cries when I’m gone I bet and I want to but if I had more family? Babe Will Baby Will

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Episode 247 ~Babe Will Baby Will~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, make a cure for Everything, Everything. Someone is working on a zombie virus right. When that happens, I’m going to be the man, a grim outlook on the future but when I’m with you baby girl?

In sickness and in health, isn’t that how the vows go and probably before anything else you’ll see me have a panic attack. Even now I want to say I’m sorry and to think I worry more about my teeth than my mental state, such is my vanity. Everything else is easy to cover up, even when I’m sweating because it may take a few years, but I will have the flu again. So I’ll be in a huff; I’m going to howl, and please help yourself to the store. I would be there for you, do I need to say that out loud, the good news is I rarely fall for more than a day. Some days you might ask was I looking more for a wife or somebody to ride out the apocalypse with me… no comment love.

As with the kids and their homework, I know I wanted to cry plenty, but I can tell you this, nobody here is stupid. Between dozens of numbers, getting a D on a test and being thankful and my “dad” I learned to be anything but him. Sure I learned how to count money, and I’m a stickler for being on time as usual. Only I never want to be the reason our children cry. Again with my many apologies, I still do when I step on B III’s paw, but when I give him a treat. If I bring tears, I want them to be of joy, and yes laughter still freaks me out a bit I wish you and all our progeny to be happy. Yeah, I’ll still be a prepper, part of the reason I guess I want to enjoy every moment.

I know when I’m going to cry. How much was it when we got the kids. So you can call me Noah if anything happens to Triple B. I’m going to be the man on the island, sorry that I can see that now. No, I wasn’t the man to cry seeing you in your wedding dress but knowing we’re together… Do I compare that to publishing my first book, going into business? Yes, things may get weird when my father dies, won’t be sad. If I thought crying more would save you tears, I would, but I want to be a man. If only you knew how many pretty girls brought out the waterworks in me before. Please remember above all else “I love you,” those three words are yours; Babe Will Baby Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 240 ~Will Becomes A Philosopher~

I read two types of books, boy loves the girl, or a man who loves life, put them together you get a fairytale and yet I’m no prince, beasts, or lovable who knows what but if I read enough, study, dare to ask. Will Becomes A Philosopher

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Episode 240 ~Will Becomes A Philosopher~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a mind reader or “choose” to be Gay. I know, not funny, that’s probably why I thought about Geology rather than Philosophy. Neither one pays well but judging by the rock on your finger or the fact that we’re here.

Any boy that grows up to be a man and marries his dream girl. Well, men are on a constant mission to figure women out, to become mind readers. Before I met you I knew what I wanted to convey, I wooed, I warned, I won, but for most women, I inspired one emotion… FEAR. Maybe I give myself too much credit perhaps it was disgust. Still, while I ponder the big questions. The greatest one in my life has to be why you STAY with me as I’m not good at a one-night stand.

One of my motivations says that Bill Gates talked about superpowers. They asked if he could have one he would want to read books faster. Now I have dreamed of being of being a superhero too, not Superman but Your Man… did I mention I’m not good with talking? Anyway, while I was at work, I think the best surrounded by the undead. So that got me to wondering the concept that if I had a superpower, I’d want super speed. My Love, am I that afraid of you, wanting to get back to you. Wanting to ask “God” or whatever a million times to please Let My Baby STAY.

If I’m going to be on my knees anyway, I might want to rethink my stance on time travel. How I owe so many apologies, and I don’t even understand what I did wrong. I don’t know how Goofy got man status, and Pluto didn’t either. So full of questions aren’t I but always the same. How Lovestoned am I, hardheaded, and hard of hearing as my heart skips a beat at your answer. Yes, you’ll STAY With Me Tonight.

How I worship you my goddess or do I stand for my woman. My queen, mother of our dragons or whatever else they may be in this world and no one else’s. How about do Christians stand or kneel for their flag? All I know is I love you baby girl, I’ll pray for you, fight, and die, to protect you. B III, the dragons, walkers, future Sith Lords forever; STAY a little bit longer.

Forever might be how long it takes me to get it, so I guess it’s a good thing; one of us is a talker while I sit here. Like Socrates, Plato, or Aristotle. Were any of them married? I also lack Rumi’s mind. Only if I Love You was hard enough for me, how trying the words I Will Stay must be as no girl has; Will Becomes A Philosopher.

I Will Have No Fear