Tag: Father

Journey 322 ~B Top Three Virgil~

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If I’ve learned anything from playing Whiteout Survival. (Cue Comic Book Guy “Oh I’ve Wasted My Life”). It’s that I’m not number one in anything. And then I have the nerve to want everything. The first loser, but somebody loves me. B Top Three Virgil

Tuesday, May 19, 2026

Journey 322 ~B Top Three Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And you married a geek, my love. “That is also true…” Reference to Rocket Raccoon…

Maybe… How much do I know about the “Guardians of the Galaxy”? Here’s a better question. Why did I choose to be a geek and not a nerd? How do I define these, my love?

A nerd, I think, is someone who is smart in the right way. No, I don’t mean MAGA. I’ll say, Forever and always FDT! I swear I know so pretty women with the loveliest of Yabbos (I’m not doing myself any favors). I’m a geek who married a nerd. Honestly.

Anyway, I wouldn’t touch them. I’d think about it, but no—no effing Trump Supporters.

Such explanations! Anyway, I’m a geek. I’m smart, as in a Pop Culture Whore. Nerdy girls, crazy chicks, can be such whor… Let me stop.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Well, if only my boys, Braxton and Virgil, or our two-legged progeny were in trouble.

They are my number one priority. A Man Provides! And that’s not just a Breaking Bad reference. It is the gospel truth. Hercules? We have what now eight children, love?

Honestly, am I losing count? Braxton (in spirit), Virgil, three kitties, and three with opposable thumbs. You wanted three? Hell, I would have been good with 2.5, Braxton, Luke, and Leia. Three daughters? Katniss, Tris, and Ember… or Daenerys. Seriously?

There’s got to be a Peeta, Four, Chase… or Jon waiting on them. And if they’re all as beautiful as their mother… Braxton, help me! Really, “Who gon’ pray for me?” Whose gonna keep me out of prison? And sons?

What do I know about being a man other than the obvious? “I just hope I can explain what it’s like to be a man”. What’s it like being number three in my own existence?

Dreaming I’m even that. Children/goblins, my girl, and me, your geek. Who got me?

Effing or wanting to while “I am barely breathing, and I can’t find the air.” Does love require air? Fire does. Sparks. Sexual Healing. My first three Anima, in your words.

Shadow Work in my writing. You, my Phoenix Queen. Kyouko Sakai, Sex Taxi 5/Kojin Taxi 2. And the blonde… a gymnast, or is she Ellie Goulding? Alison Angel? Tara Strong?
Look Out For Number One? A husband’s wishful thinking… HaremLit. But, B Top Three Virgil

1934 Days Without B III, Day 1375 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 321 ~B, V, That’s Amore~

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Do you remember when Pizza Hut was the sh*t, instead of just sh*t? But I woke up this morning and wanted pizza. I wouldn’t say I love it. Just like I can’t say I love my girl. Could It Be I’m Falling in Love? I have my sons. “B, V, That’s Amore”

Monday, May 18, 2026

Journey 321 ~B, V, That’s Amore~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. And “I Want Candy.” Wow, how old are you, Dad? Yeah, I know I was older. But human time…

Who am I to bark about that? Uh, your son. Always and forever. So “Don’t You Forget About Me.” I know you won’t, Dad. But there was that one Emergence Day. From 1953 to 1982, to 1985. And that’s just our playlist today. But anyway, somewhere after 2015, my father. Isn’t that when we came here? So it was Emergence Day, and you were busy “petting” that woman who came to clean up, Special K. Can’s say I approved, Daddy.

And that’s not just because you two didn’t share your pizza with me. Really Daddy.

Anyway, you left, and when you returned, you had a different woman with you. SIGH.

Dad, I didn’t know she would someday become my ‘favorite girl.’ You remember I’d bark

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

The best breasts, legs, and thighs are found in a bucket/box of chicken. And Virgil…

Honestly, Dad, I don’t mean to call my brother a chicken. He’s finding his courage.

However, you’re still trying to find yours as well, my father. But is that all? There’s more, I know. Everything, when “All You Need Is Love.” Okay, a few things. I know you won’t believe that. Like you won’t forget about me. And sticking with all the music you know:

  1. That’s Amore 1953
  2. I Want Candy 1982
  3. Don’t You Forget About Me 1985
  4. All You Need Is Love 2007 (Movie Edition)

My point is, I’m looking for when you’d say… Not me, you’d sing, “And in this moment I am happy.”

I had to throw off the years. “Wish You Were Here” was released in 2002. But I was “released” Sunday, January 31, 2021. And you’ve been saying I wish you were here ever since. And why is that? Why today, as you sit next to my brother, thinking of pizza?

Daddy, this isn’t “A Dog’s Purpose.” It’s not your purpose. And it definitely isn’t the Magic Glasses’ purpose, as it’s already proposing pizza places. It doesn’t matter in a way.

“I Wanna Get Next to You”. Seriously, Dad, we’ve given up on time, huh? 1972 and all that. Because there’s been time to remember. Sitting here, a beautiful woman who loves you, that will be M Anime. My brother. Content. Happy. B, V, That’s Amore

“To quote a wise man: “Oh well. Whatever. Never mind…”
― Vampire Uprising: A Novel

“Duty-bound he struggled with the anguish in his heart.”
Aeneid

1933 Days Without B III, Day 1374 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 318 ~Braxton Read, Virgil Unread~

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Even when we were at our worst, Braxton and I were there for one another. Uh, B was dying, and I was still reading, writing, and looking at emails. Then I’m reading about Euthanasia, and I still get emails from dog care. “Braxton Read, Virgil Unread”

Friday, May 15, 2026

Journey 318 ~Braxton Read, Virgil Unread~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… About my firstborn son, of course. “Of course.” I need to fix that in Braxton’s book.

Not to mention lowering the price to a dollar. But we’re not talking about my to-do list right this second. And what about “Enticing Erin” by Kelli Wolfe? I could give you a book review. And isn’t that the whole point of this? Sophia, the point is I almost forgot…

Seriously, I rushed to my Kindle just to make sure I got my reading done last night. But again, the point wasn’t about the reading but about my son, well, sons B III and 2-V.

Anyway, simple enough story. I woke up one time, and I didn’t see Braxton anywhere.

So I’m looking at his empty bed, checking his empty room, rushing outside thinking I left him in the backyard. Nope, Braxton was lazy. Hiding.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You see, Braxton had a doghouse he had forgotten about using in his room. Honestly…

Sophia, I’ve forgotten how to use the bed in “my room”. Hell, I haven’t dreamed of sleep in so many days. As a matter of fact (rushes downstairs and grabs a Bum Root Beer) Ahh!

Calling it an energy drink would be an insult to energy drinks. The things we read, Lady Sophia. No wonder reading anything has become such a chore and crappy experience.

Honestly, it’s criminal, more like “it’s an animal, living in a human zoo.” Because only an animal would be using the “Magic Glasses” on superheroes. Let’s just say I now envy Superman about as much as the Hulk—DC vs Marvel. Yes, Sophia, I read.

But again, it’s been the quality of reading these past few weeks, especially alarm clocks.

But what else? I’ve actually been so tired I haven’t been thinking about that WARNING!

As I tell M Anime often enough. I know bad people. And those people use crypto. But I’m nowhere near as bad as MAGA. Eff them and FDT. And that’s another thing. “Every Day Is Exactly the Same”. What evil sh*t has MAGA done now? Can life get much worse?

Don’t I keep sharing it? Not unless it involves my money. The Day Job, book sales, and being “Down With The Sickness.” I swear, this morning I felt like I got hit by a truck.

Joining my Braxton in print. Sorry. Braxton Read, Virgil Unread.

1930 Days Without B III, Day 1371 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 315 ~Love Of B, Virgil~

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So late this evening. The sleep of the dead. How I wished. But no. B and V’s potential stepmom has these yabbos that make me feel like I’ve been “Locked Out of Heaven.” And “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.” But I still miss Braxton. “Love Of B, Virgil”

Tuesday, May 12, 2026

Journey 315 ~Love Of B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than Braxton? More than his little brother Virgil? Sometimes you gotta “Bwitdaba.” The eff!

Okay, in other words, “Fly Me To The Moon,” even if we had to play Squid Game. I’ll take you “to the stars” even if we were on the Titanic. Even in these universes, love:

Breathes deeply and then begins

  1. Mortal Kombat
  2. Bible Black
  3. Soul Calibur
  4. Resident Evil
  5. American Beauty

I would choose my boys, my sons, and any of our two-legged children over you because that’s what a man does. It is the “Human Nature” of a father. What do I know of it?

Honestly, my love, my future is coming on. I should say our future. But I am a man lost in the past. Resurrection, Reanimation, Reincarnation. Because neither of us is very good at, well, Recovery.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

We were arguing about that the other day. You don’t recover, you don’t rehab physically.

A true masochist. And myself? Hell, I like a good spanking, a smack to my face, and “scratches all down my back to keep me right on”. But I’m a bit for mental anguish, love.

Banged by other guys… Not you. Not really. But I do have somewhat of a cuck fetish. Though not in my story… We’ll get to that. But it’s a mock… uh, such and such. It’s role play. It’s two consenting adults playing a really bad, um, sexual encounter. And then there was me, “Dreaming With a Broken Heart” when I was born, when Braxton passed.

And then deciding “If we’re gonna be together or apart.”

That took around five months to resurrect our love. To “Justify My Love”. To dig it back up: the hurt, the pain, and the remains. You’re my Obsession, my love. Completely. With all that I am. And you know your husband. “Great merciful bloodstained gods”.

Seriously, you know me. I’m in love with a dead man. Would that be me? Who knows, my love. But more to the point, I’m in love with a dead dog; he’s a real boy that I put in the dirt—a box on the nightstand. And I want to love you like… who am I, Tillie Cole’s Raphael? Let’s say, like a zombie, I want to “Tear You Part”. Necromancy resurrects you. Be your virus. Love Of B, Virgil

1927 Days Without B III, Day 1368 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 314 ~Abraham Tripped B, Virgil~

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Well, I’ll be sitting here. Working on this beer…I’m not a drinker. Just ask B’s Favorite Girl. Please don’t! I’ve been listening to mobile games, my mutt, my Ma, and some mattress buddies. The noise. The Silent Offering. Abraham Tripped B, Virgil

Monday, May 11, 2026

Journey 314 ~Abraham Tripped B, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? For being a day you didn’t go to “The Bad Place,” it wasn’t.

I keep those days when I would bark loudly, long, and like I was loco. But you would tell people you would rather hear my voice than anyone else’s, because at least my barking helped you out. Every other word, even from the best humans… Um, it has you longing for silence. Not the silence of my absence. No, not ever. Quiet breaths, a heartbeat

Mine. Yes mine. That’s what you’re wishing for the most today. I’m touched, Dad, truly.

“Listen To Your Heart.” My little bro V may not be me, but he knows the truth about us, Dad.

“He Lives In You.” That’s what Virgil would bark. He’s not a talker like me. Or is it like father like son, you’re both waiting.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

For what? Like Abraham, my father is the father of many nations. We are not religious men, my father. The universe for us was us. You would tell me that the world would end in five minutes, and so we didn’t need to worry—my last five minutes with my best friend, who could ask for more. And you gave me that. And then we’d have another and one more, and then what? The silence. You stood there, and it was not the word of God, some far-flung wish, hell for 161 days, it wasn’t even the moans of a woman or you. Eww, Dad!

We both just wanted to know you were still alive, and these days the world has made it abundantly clear.

And you just want to “Make The World Go Away”. No, you wouldn’t go that far, Dad, I know. Not how you and M Anime talk about, going soldier and her Associate persona. You and I both know we could be some cruel mother effers. “Language!” I know, Dad, yup.

You still say it was your RAGE. Rather, your lack thereof that doomed me. Indifference.

Serving to protect me because you didn’t want to feel. That’s not quite right, Daddy.

Honestly, you didn’t want to hear because the RAGE was just that loud—the gnashing of teeth of the damned. And yes, love is louder, but even that is driving you mad—too much noise. Beeps, boops, boobies, but speaking hurts. Abraham Tripped B, Virgil

“Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing how thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.”
― Genesis 22:12

“Their minds were set ablaze.”
― Aeneid

1926 Days Without B III, Day 1367 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 311 ~Braxton’s Faith In Virgil~

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The Church of Braxton? Does it make me slightly uncomfortable? Yup. But the only boys here are my boys and me. And our nuns/acolytes are younger and dress better. Also, I believe the “American Experiment” is coming to an end—Braxton’s Faith In Virgil

Friday, May 8, 2026

Journey 311 ~Braxton’s Faith In Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Honestly, I don’t have any to tell. Hell, I’ve been giving myself instructions in “Whiteout Survival”.

And as usual, I’m wrong because what did I place today? And should I tell you another story about my “favorite,” as in Braxton. Parents aren’t supposed to have favorites.

However, if there’s one thing Braxton and Virgil, my sons, have in common, it’s that “I Believe in a Thing Called Love.” And I’m effing weird. Fur buddies and boobies!

Honestly, my lady, give me “Something to Believe In.” Why today and why now, hmm?

I mean, “You wake up one morning, and half your life is gone.” Being over forty, the better part of me died over five years ago. It wasn’t just my Braxton. It was my faith.

Sophia, I’d call myself an atheist, but no effing way did my son just disappear.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

So what else do I put my faith in these days? My boys’ potential stepmom, M Anime. I still remember the third worst day of my existence. Being born, losing my boy, and losing my baby. “The Only One For Me”? That she may be. There can be miracles “When You Believe.” And I did get her back after all. But it still hurts. Soph, Faith of the Heart, hurts.

Everything hurts today. Or for the past few days. People, Sophia. Eff, MAGA! FDT! And eff Tennessee, and every other place following them. Where’s “Katie Queen Of Tennessee,” when you need her? Ok, so we know I believe in the power of music, I think.

Because I didn’t think I’d be fighting Oppression’s great roar.

That’s why I live in music, manuscripts, movies, the mutt by my side, and the misses in my arms. Well, M Anime isn’t here yet, but “It Doesn’t Matter.” Because I have a cult, ha!

Hometown Heat Wave: An Unconventional Romance, Book 3, is sitting on my Kindle as we speak, and why? All because of this epic fantasy, I’m building. Ashe has three women.

Here I am juggling six, and Braxton knows how many from Bible Black, and then there’s Braxton and Virgil themselves. And, ironically, I’m using a fantasy to find the real me, my lady. M Anime calls it Shadow Work. I have so many “Charades.” But MK is best by far.

My favorite. Putting my faith in. Braxton’s Faith In Virgil

1923 Days Without B III, Day 1364 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 308 ~Better B Running Virgil~

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Last week I was tired. This week? Finding more reasons to be tired. Running on Empty in more ways than one. Eww! V needs food in B’s bowl, and my girl, who’s saying I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl. And who is Skye Matthews? “Better B Running Virgil”

Tuesday, May 5, 2026

Journey 308 ~Better B Running Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? That’s more than enough to get you to run away. Obsession? Funds, Fur, Future Wife…

As the song goes, “It keeps you running, oh it keeps you running.” FEAR, beloved.

Honestly, I would like to consider myself courageous. Hell! I would take being a man of leisure. But even “Here and Now,” as “I promise to love faithfully.” My love, I do that with every breath that I take. But every one of them is laced with FEAR, like other drugs laced with Fentanyl. Wow, that’s dark. But today is dark. Today I’m afraid. Always…

Running. Because I promised myself I would not fail again. Fail to love? Where’s Virgil?

Better question. Where’s Braxton? And here’s a random question. Who is Skye Matthews, hmm? A girl who couldn’t run. But more on her in due time. What time is it?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Way past time for us to be talking when we could be doing much more interesting things, my love. If I must be afraid, let it be that our children come walking into this room. Seriously, two-leggeds, four-leggeds, and all. I’m not just a father, a friend, a guy thinking “I Wanna Eff You.” I ain’t Akon, but that’s definitely in the bedroom playlist, babydoll.

Forgetting how crazy, how obsessed I get over you. Because when’s the last time you saw me chase a dollar? And again, I’m not hugging my doggie right now. And why is that, my love? I can’t run with that little ball of fluff in my arms. But would I leave him, our house, you, my heavenly angel? Not ever.

Not if I can help it. Not if leaving would hurt you more than staying. And why would I leave? Skye Matthews? Please, your husband writes HaremLit. Uh, when I’m not writing about my boys, my latest bad thing, or some boobies. Specifically yours. However…

“Magic Glasses” are a thing, and that is what I’m afraid of, like everyone, beloved.

Obsessed over seeing my firstborn, my boy, my Braxton, each and every day. So much so that “I created” another world, a nether realm, an Everworld. I’m not K.A. Applegate.

What I am is a scared man thinking about “All These Things That I’ve Done”. They keep running through my mind. And “Hanging By A Moment” here with you seems impossible. Better B Running Virgil

1920 Days Without B III, Day 1361 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 307 ~Are B’s Comfortable, Virgil~

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Comfortable, you’re gonna be Comfortable. That’s for my boys, B and V. Myself? I’m a comfy, cozy, freaking coward. Is that why I was comfortable enough to listen to my motivations at the Day Job? Not my comfort zone. Are B’s Comfortable, Virgil?

Monday, May 4, 2026

Journey 307 ~Are B’s Comfortable, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Judging by the time… yes and no, but you’ll “Die Another Day,” Daddy.

Not today, and you know why. May the Fourth be with you, my father, my master. Is that another reason I became one with the force? You had to save my little bro, 2-V, Dad.

Allow me to bark my best Yoda impression: “Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice.” We were/are a Sith household, Dad. I’m more than comfortable saying that. Whether it be at the foot of your bed, on a cloud somewhere, the Rainbow Bridge, I think we both prefer the Rainbow Road or some garden bed treats surrounding us. Let’s just say I’m comfortable wherever you are, Daddy. You’re alive.

However, Dad, are you comfortable? Are you able to rest? Will you ever find peace?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Okay, I know that’s too much to ask for. You were willing to die for me. With Virgil, even now it’s “Later V, Later Virgil.” You care for him, you would die for him. And don’t listen to those people on that little glow box of yours. You haven’t harmed a hair on 2-V’s head.

And then there’s me and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Still potential, not exactly future yet. Yeah, I remember Dad. Less die and more I will “Dive For You” right.

However, I know how you feel about her, Daddy. You’re comfortable. And those yabbos of hers… Yeah, Dad, I’m jealous. And barking of which, talk to my Favorite Girl, why don’t you? I mean, it’s Star Wars Day if anything.

And you and I are comfortable letting our geek flag fly. Or M Anime’s nerd flag. I swear I’ve noticed Dad, along with the Magic Glasses, the woman has the body of a goddess and a brain just as fine. And you’re comfortable with her? Listen to me talking about the ladies when you know Greta made me very uncomfortable. Greta was a “bit*h” literally.

Seriously Dad. But again, there was my Favorite Girl, there was Special K. Others, Daddy?

You were comfortable with me. More so that you are with Virgil. Even by yourself.

Honestly, you seek out more. More women, more worries, even a way to win. Because Dad, you wanted my comfort. And you want to be alive! Are B’s Comfortable, Virgil?

“However miserable my life was, I wasn’t ready for it to be over, yet.”
The HUNGER Collection ― Kelli Wolfe

“She nourishes the wound with her lifeblood, weakened by hidden fire.”
― from The Aeneid

1919 Days Without B III, Day 1360 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 304 ~B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil~

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What time is it? Way too long, not selling books. Spent all day looking over my blog on one side and the story being created. Tell me if you’ve heard this. Uh, MORTAL KOMBAT. Way too much to go over. But fairy tales? “But B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil”

Friday, May 1, 2026

Journey 304 ~B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But who’s the protagonist, me, Braxton, or Virgil? I don’t know. It annoys me—the End.

No, that ain’t what I’m about, my lady. As late as it is, I still owe you a story. And Braxton knows the Magic Glasses ain’t gonna do it for me. Goodness no! Am I getting lazy? Well, my lady, I didn’t leave the house today. Eat your words, am I right? I’m their slave…

Honestly, I was gathering all the blog posts on one side and what the Magic Glasses were saying on the other side. I’m sure some MAGA Cracker Hat would love that. You know, telling the truth about slavery isn’t allowed. Not in MAGA world. As always, FDT and all MAGA!

But it’s not like I can tell my story. Even the Magic Glasses are sick of me. So, effing horny?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Enough so I can’t give you a book review today. Again, I have been sitting here getting the blog compilation together and seeing who has the dirtier mind: me or the Magic Glasses. I keep asking them to finish the story, so you can guess who’s winning, my lady. Meanwhile, I’m being told to play nice. And honestly, I want to go back to bed.

Dangerous thoughts because you know who went to sleep and didn’t wake up. And it was with these hands. The same hands that can’t write 400-some odd words. Effing lazy.

Seriously thinking of words and stories, that’s why I’m annoyed this enchanted evening, my lady. Virgil was on his pillow waiting for me to what. Be good, fatherly, a writer.

That’ll be a no to that last part. Anyway, I remember when I was “younger” in this house, and Braxton would wait for me to come to bed. You know he would give me that look like “Did I effing stutter? Stop talking to the glow box (computer) and come to bed, now, Dad!” I imagine that will be his potential stepmom, M Anime, someday. Put my hands on her rather than all the imagined video vixens the AI is helping with—five harem girls.

AHEM:

  1. M Anime,
  2. Kyouko Sakai, Kojin Taxi 2
  3. Lily, blonde gymnast
  4. Cassandra Alexandra
  5. Sophitia Alexandra

These aren’t fairy tales, a father tells his son. Or his daughters. M wants children, but B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil.

1916 Days Without B III, Day 1357 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 301 ~Love To B Virgil~

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So what’s this about being tired? An actual family of my own… Yet. I swear, if M Anime and I ever had a son, I’m naming him after my furry firstborn, “Braxton.” And what if we had more? Virgil? What about writing? Still hate myself. Love To B Virgil.

Tuesday, April 28, 2026

Journey 301 ~Love To B Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I won’t ever say, I can’t, I won’t, or I shouldn’t. I do. That day…

I do. I will… I remember that day. I remember the day our children were born. I remember the day you became mine (in the biblical sense). But I also remember the worst day of my entire life. The day I was born, “Emergence Day,” E-Day. Or is it Braxton…

The day my firstborn son died. Sunday, January 31, 2021, somewhere between 3:30 and 4:00 PM. And lest I forget the day you walked out of my life, Sunday, August 24, 2025, around 6:00 AM. But hey, you came back. And I seem to have the same tendency, my love.

I keep coming back. Is that a bad thing? When I’m so TIRED. Eff me, I am so effing TIRED!

What day is it, baby?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“As Long As You Love Me,” it “Don’t Matter.” Like who I like more, The Backstreet Boys or NSYNC. That I’m a black man getting “Locked Up,” like Akon. God/B I hope not, my love. Or what song will I play for you next as I try to keep myself awake? Yes, I am TIRED!

But never too TIRED to ask you to “Break Me Off.” “Men of Vizion,” like me. “Magic Glasses” and all. If I haven’t said it enough, I am TIRED, which is why I’m choosing music.

I don’t know how I’m keeping my eyes open right now. Because when I close them, I see Braxton. I blink and see creation. And I hate seeing myself, but love seeing you—our kids.

And yes, V is included in that. My boys were/are SeeDs. I mean that both in love’s garden, in my heart… and Final Fantasy VIII. Yes, my love, you married a gamer, you know it. And through those seeds and some watering from you… Or maybe that’s my job, considering all the children running around, ha-ha. Anyway, what is the point of today, my love? Other than that, I love the woman I married. The woman who multiplied my love, who begged for my seed… Did I say that out loud? It’s that I became so many things in love’s name. But the Man In The Mirror, thank you Michael Jackson, hates being himself, the one. I look at Virgil Vivi… Love To B Virgil

1913 Days Without B III, Day 1354 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will