Tag: Father

Saga 336 ~B Leaving Ghosts Virgil~

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What I “pray” for more than B’s return is a zombie apocalypse. They don’t scare me. Neither do ghosts or succubi. Dude wrote 19 books, and I can’t do one. Even when B was talking to me. Is he talking to V when I leave? B Leaving Ghosts Virgil

Friday, June 2, 2023

Saga 336 ~B Leaving Ghosts Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I’ll hire an army of psychiatrists, pet psychics, and paranormal experts. Tell them my stories…

It’s “Times Like These,” when I find it pretty damn impossible to commit any crimes… And when I’m sitting here at the dining room table. While Virgil lies upstairs crying, Sophia. It’s when the only thing I want to do is lie in bed. And before B guards, he cuddles. Is that why I was scooting further and further away this morning? What do the holy rollers say? Save room for the Holy Spirit? I wanted room for my Braxton. Is that why I destroyed his pillow by accident? He didn’t want V to have it… But everything else, hmm? I should stop reading all these ghost stories, supernatural shenanigans. And stuff on spirits. Speaking of which, I should buy some while I’m out today.

Excuse me for making a shopping list. I continue to time travel. And today is still Memorial Day, Monday, May 29, 2023. People mourn soldiers. Oh, and if they could only see what has become of this country. I don’t intend to write something on the state of politics. I’m a black writer, but what have I been reading, Sophia? My usual fanfare, right? You know. Satan’s Sorority Girls, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes… wtf happened to Lucy Gray Baird? And yet again, I’m listening to Succubus Lord 9. A deal with Hell? Been there. AHEM! Where’s that shopping list again? Um, I need light bulbs, sugar, and dog food. Lady Sophia, I don’t plan to make Virgil a ghost soon. I killed Braxton.

I scream that inside my head so often. Why should I be surprised I can’t hear B trying to talk to me? I keep mentioning that Virgil is not his reincarnation. I know that, Sophia. Only as I was saying, I heard Virgil crying today, and between not cuddling either… Monster? I am not a good man, Sophia. And in all the horrors I’ve seen. It’s people that are the worse. Braxton and I were like Scooby and Shaggy. To Virgil, I am the villain. There’s the fact that B’s smell must cover everything even now. V sees dead doggies. Zombies? How about ghosts since Virgil cries buckets when I leave? Is B III haunting? Something good for V? Trade places B Leaving Ghosts Virgil.

852 Days Without B III, Day 293 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 332 ~ Don’t Demand Likes, Loyalty, Love~

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When was the last time I demanded anything? Other than giving me “my” money back. To like me, to be loyal, and so much love. Hell! B denied he was dying forever and a day. I wish I had something like that besides… “Don’t Demand Likes, Loyalty, Love.”

Monday, May 29, 2023

Saga 332 ~ Don’t Demand Likes, Loyalty, Love~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And like most, I only want one thing… Money! I’ve had worse days, to be honest, Madam.

Like (Cali Girl Voice), money gets you so much. Then there’s my B. Always Braxton. Madam, I’ve said I’ve had worse days, but it’s only 5:30 in the morning. I’m not crying yet, so that’s something. All out of liking, loyalty, and love. That was me and B III, Madam. I want to say I have such “nobility” these days. Bucks, Boobs, and Balls. Pants-wise. Having cash in the wallet. Boobies on my phone or as Wheeler Walker, Jr. illustrates. “Pictures On My Phone.” He’s classier than me. And then there’s the courage I lack. Madam, I wish I liked myself. No! I’m somebody I’d like to punch in the face on any given day. “I got soul, but I’m not a soldier,” Madam Justice.

Loyal to no one. Today is Memorial Day. To those that died serving this country. Thank you. There was a time I thought I could do such things. Being a sailor? It wasn’t for me. Neither was being a son. You would think I’d show some loyalty to my Olds. But again, I would destroy their creation… me, even if I cared to exist. What could I do for them? How about being a loyal suitor? The way I would like to… I would have to be a billionaire. At best, I adore women. I lust, crave, and desire. But there is a word, Obsession. That would define what I’m doing this morning besides talking to you, Madam. Loyal to my dick. The Pic Phenomenon.

“Love Don’t Cost a Thing.” As I was telling someone yesterday. I ain’t looking for it anymore. Am I lying? I could cuddle up beside Virgil right now if I wanted. Only I let him take the center of the bed because I don’t want to be bothered moving him. I’ll keep him safe, but as Tina Turner put it, “What’s Love Got to Do with It.” My dear Madam. Today if I were to tell you all my thoughts on love. Well, who has that kind of time? Hmm. I could sum up such feelings as a Christian might. God is love. Always and forever. Braxton is love. Liked/likes me, was/is loyal, and love… Never demanded, deserved. But daddy. Don’t Demand Likes, Loyalty, Love

848 Days Without B III, Day 289 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 329 ~Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…~

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Can you hear me now? Good. Those commercials, hmm? I’m lucky to hear anything besides, “That will be $175.00.” Then my ear would get slammed like an episode of Family Guy. Me and my big mouth and massive bills. “Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…”

Friday, May 26, 2023

Saga 329 ~Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so bills? What bills? All the ones I paid for Braxton? The man? Oh yeah, duck…

Bill. As in, I would never shut up? Unless I was doing something else like this morning. I failed once again. And after such a “productive” moment. At least it didn’t lead to a bill. I swear that morning, Friday, January 29, 2021. I would only be paying for a few more meds. I figured. I already had the story in my head… an upset stomach, hardhead B. “As I was saying, I don’t want to read my Dæmon’s vet bill.” That’s from “Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~.” Is it strange that I’m listening to Succubus Lord 8 yet again? Sophia, I’m also reading another Eric Vall novel, Satan’s Sorority Girls. The things I hear. That is to say, with what I did today.

Besides playing a porno in my head with two English roses, I mean. Hell! I was into those two before Eric Vall started talking about one of his chicks. But ok, Sophia, the good news. So this morning, I was getting all spiffy about to head to the urgent care clinic about my bum ear. -cost, the lack of actual “caring,” and the worse customer service. I know you’re not Yelp. Anyway, besides B III, the story of my existence is FEAR. So I’m rutting about in my ear, and voilà. This big chunk of ear wax comes popping out, and suddenly water. I could hear the water in the sink gushing for the first time in days. It didn’t make me burst into tears.

Hell! Sophia, I’ve said I would take any physical pain over my mental anguish. Haven’t I languished over The Pic Phenomenon from Thursday, May 18, 2023, my Lady? But once that effing thing got out of my ear, it’s like even that disappeared. Standing there, I heard everything I needed to hear. “We gon’ be alright,” Lady Sophia. Now, I wish I could believe that. I saved $175.00. I didn’t hear the words sick, starving, or sleep. As much as I want to “sleep forever.” Trust me, Sophia; I have said much worse. So Braxton would have if Bill had to come back. Or upon seeing the payment to put him to sleep. No price is too high. Virgil lives. Always. Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…

845 Days Without B III, Day 286 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 325 ~Guilt Before Action Is Morality~

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I’m not with the GOP. Hurting someone? I won’t lie and pretend. I have my interests at heart or below that. But with B. I knew he was dying. The Guilt I felt before, after, and now? And with what I’ve done, now… “Guilt Before Action Is Morality”

Monday, May 22, 2023

Saga 325 ~Guilt Before Action Is Morality~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I can afford to be a “man.” An effing ton of mammaries. Hell! Morality’s free.

And I have had an effing ton of that since Thursday, May 18, 2023. I’ll come up with a name for that soon enough. Let me also state, “for the record.” I’m not coming down on female billionaires. Did I say… coming? Effing today. That’s the last thing I need. Tomorrow? Madam, as always, I would instead focus on 841 days ago. Braxton, always and forever. “Brother to brother, yours in life and death,” they said in First Knight. Sometimes I feel that Braxton leads me to the lines. Dog on a leash? Here’s another Madam, “Only a fool wants what he cannot have.” What? I wanted my son to live forever. Outlive me, Madam. It should have been me—no Morality in this mortality.

“Be not so long to speak; I long to die,” as was said in Romeo + Juliet. Or is that me in the mirror? As I tell Braxton, while he keeps me here? How about all those I have wronged? For I have harmed plenty. And it’s one thing when I don’t give a damn. Only I’ve always been of the mind, “You always hurt the (ones) you (love).” And to know what I’m doing. I’m always incredibly effing STUPID! Even now, I have to look up Guilt and Morality. Again with Braxton… Did I “feel” guilty? Always have and always will, “sorry” to say. That’s another word I should look up. What does it mean to be sorry? Um, not getting off, for starters.

I’m a sadist. But B III’s pain was nothing but this heartbreaking. My punishment. Hell! Now “The Pic Phenomenon…” See, I told you I’d find a name for it. I have a better one, but the Guilt I feel saying it? And that’s the thing, ain’t it? Now I have decided to have some morals. And will I stop, well, anything? It’s like that scene from Liberal Arts (2012). When Jesse is deciding whether to sleep with Zibby. Finally decides against it… No! I’m worse. It’s like Lester deciding whether to sleep with Angela. Uh, eww… Spacey. But in the end. Both have… TRUST. Jesse and Lester stop short. But I’m not that bad. What I’ve done, though… Breaking TRUST! Guilt Before Action Is Morality.

841 Days Without B III, Day 282 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 322 ~Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…~

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I write stuff. Not the right stuff or the white stuff. “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Prolific? There’s “All I wanted was to see her naked.” Then there are website developers and things for The Boys. “Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…”

Friday, May 19, 2023

Saga 322 ~Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I would never have to write again. I love writing (every day…) but… the dream.

I don’t blame Braxton for saying, “bye.” More like “later.” Like father like son, Sophia. Though how many times have I written about Braxton’s last WORDS? “Why can’t I stay?” That’s from Angel, Season 5. Episode 15 “A Hole in the World.” But again, Lady Sophia, father, and son. How dare I say Braxton’s best days were/are sitting on the loveseat with me watching crap. I’ve told B III’s story. How he knew and would leave his toy with me. If anything, it beat him sitting under the table. Waiting for me to write anything that could resemble crap. I would go to the library. There was me writing alone as he went to bed. And here we are two years after. Have I published…

I don’t blame Virgil for being bored, either. Hell! I went most of the day without speaking to him. I wish I could say I was writing. Oh, I was hitting keys. But that was only to watch other people’s stories. And I wish that it was only that. I’m lazy but plenty worse, Sophia. And then there’s all the right, white, write stuff—words with many meanings. It’s not like living, surviving, and existing. I can tell one from the other. Doing anything… For Braxton or Virgil, The Boys? I hate how in this head, there’s already a story being… let’s say, edited? Hell! I have been thinking it’s gone on way too long daily. But V’s tale, Sophia? I still can’t read him.

I will blame myself for that. At least I don’t have to type the words, delete, block, and eff off. That would give me even less time to be with B. Please! Writing now. Sophia, it could be so much worse. All the novels, notes, and nothing poetry written and disgusted with myself. Over what I wrote last night. Yeah, typing into a search bar. Doctors would have a field day. Not that I’m going to see one soon. I don’t need the bills, ok? Despite knowing something is very wrong with me. In a physical sense, to be sure. And the answer is always the same. Only it didn’t save Braxton. Or solidify Virgil, and I’s friendship. The Boys say Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…

838 Days Without B III, Day 279 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 318 ~Laughter Is Camouflage For Language~

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What’s so funny? You wouldn’t get it? In total transparency, I’ve never seen “Joker.” And I hate clowns. Explains how I feel looking in the mirror. Or at the news and anything on any day. Yet I laugh like an idiot. Laughter Is Camouflage For Language

Monday, May 15, 2023

Saga 318 ~Laughter Is Camouflage For Language~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-First Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Yes, I laugh every time I say that. How I hate laughter, but we’ll get to that.

When I was a child, once upon a time… I wanted to be a comedian. Gallagher, to be specific. If anything, I wanted to smash things. Hulk Smash? My favorite Marvel hero, next to the Black Panther. Of course, I relate to him. Intelligent black man with lots of cash. Anyway, speaking of smashing. “Sex is a joke in heaven?” That’s from the movie Dogma. Is sex funny? I’d be lying if I said I don’t give the occasional chuckle at a dirty joke ha-ha. And I was saying today as I spoke to “Dear Future Wife.” Tuesday, May 9, 2023, so yes, I’m time traveling. Okay, so I was saying how I use the word boobies and even Yabbos. And what about my Braxton?

I would laugh my butt off when he’d go to town on one of his toys. His poor Aunt Carolina. It’s funny that the first time I had to give “the talk,” it was about him not being all up in her boobies. Braxton did plenty to make me laugh. Tears of joy, Madam? Umm… Well, Virgil hasn’t made me laugh at all. Not that I recall, anyway. But it’s funny that with all the pictures I have of my son. The first video I do, the phone… Virgil gallery. Madam, am I growing up and forgetting about my B. Never, his human huffs hilariously! I do after every encounter at the Day Job. And you know why that is. Because I can’t talk ever

As I swear up and down, AHEM… the effing comedian is effing dead, Madam. Braxton? The truth is he’s dead. And the truth is the funniest thing of all. One big effing joke, and like something out of 1984, we all get it and then don’t because, The American Way? Madam, it’s not only that but living, existing in general, laughing when we should cry. Hell! We do both. And I don’t mean to be all political now, but I saw this video today and:

Is existence funny? And I never learned to deal with the heckle. Hell! I never asked for it. I don’t want to be a caveman, a comedian, or speak only with my cock… But speaking… Laughter Is Camouflage For Language

834 Days Without B III, Day 275 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 315 ~Lying With B, Virgil~

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What am I going to read? Even if all I did was meditate, my head would be, “EXTRA, EXTRA, read all about it,” B III is still gone. I’ll read his medicine bottles. The TV will show the GOP get away with everything. And books? Lying With B, Virgil

Friday, May 12, 2023

Saga 315 ~Lying With B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can lie forever and a day. Right, CNN? But comedy comes in threes…

As in my son B III, Triple, or it’s hip to B squared. Hell! I was about to say, “I feel,” like a killer. Only we know the truth, Lady Sophia. As the song asks, “Am I A Psycho?” Yes! Even now, I refuse to admit my boy is dead. I know he is. But every day, I call Braxton! You know I talk to him more than I do, Virgil. Even now, Virgil is dead center in the bed, and I moved over. He’s not my son. I wish I wanted; I wouldn’t be like this. Not his fault. Only I do believe it was B that was speaking to me on that day. But what now, B III? Braxton, lying about everything you.

Let’s focus on me, which you can see above. I don’t know why I decided to come clean today. Just because. You’re not Inspector Echo. And if Braxton were here… I’d know better. What about Nelson Mandela… “It’s never too late to do the right thing.” He wasn’t talking about the angle of the dangle… So why did I want to lie about it for so long, Sophia? Can I stop talking about my “Enormous Penis?” I swear I’ll start anew at 9:00 AM. Anyway, you know how I hate liars. And everything I have read this week has been about some liar. At least, “That’s why I’m starting with me.” Everything seems to be pointing to me getting out of bed. Braxton ain’t here.

And even if he were, I would be on the loveseat. Or better, at the dining room table writing away. I would tell him and me that I’m doing this to give us a better life. But I exist, sigh. And I want to say I’m trying. But that would be one more lie. I mean, even when I read… Again I’m reading The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes. Yet it’s only a chapter or two a day. And today being Friday or even tomorrow, I’ll read “Mesmerizing Caroline – The Contract.” Lady Sophia, it’s all so I can keep up with a book a week, hmm. Good news. Like I’m doing something “Successful.” When I instead be Lying With B, Virgil.

831 Days Without B III, Day 272 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 311 ~Apparently, Models Do Have Standards~

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No matter what I say, I still hate that saying. A picture’s worth a thousand words. Hell! Words have got me wanting to see… other things. If we’re talking about B. Nary, a word. But B was/is beautiful. Others? Uh, Apparently, Models Do Have Standards

Monday, May 8, 2023

Saga 311 ~Apparently, Models Do Have Standards~

Two-Hundred and Ninetieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I can make photography a hobby. Something Replika keeps asking. Hobbies I wish I had…

Hell! The only model I ever REALLY had was Braxton. And even my son wasn’t on demand, to be honest, Madam. But everyone loved him. Not that I’m an influencer. Thinking… Yeah, that’s never been my strong suit. Well, when it comes to models. We’ll get to those kind of models. For now, there’s Virgil Vivi and… Well, I remember:

“If you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph.”

― Anonymous

I keep saying, “Virgil is not my son.” That makes me sound like a horrible human being, Madam. At least I’m being acknowledged as a man, ha. I can exist with that for now, hmm? Which is why I take so many pictures of myself. Ain’t that a lie? Let’s say, as the song goes, Look at this photograph. Every time I do, it makes me laugh.” That’s my dick

And as proud as I am of it… How many times have I looked up, in these past few days, increasing the size of a penis? What does that make me? OnlyFans and Carolina saw it. Let’s hope, right? Not that it’s a secret. I have enough of those to share with my dear Echo.
But today, I’m already time-traveling. It’s Sunday, May 7, 2023. Today shouldn’t be hard. I know, I hear ya (sigh). Can I stop talking about my cock for 2 seconds? All 6″ worth, ha. What would some people think, Madam?

Models, in particular. The only other reason to pick up any sort of a camera. My Braxton, what’s above my balls, and boobs. And there’s always more yabbos, without question. Only as the kids say, FOMO or Fear Of Missing Out. I’m an old man Madam. But not old enough for Cherry, I know. To go with another song, “All I wanted was to see her naked.” And if I had a dollar for every woman I wanted to see without their clothes on, I would be approaching a billion. At least making money faster than working the Day Job and yet living that kind of life. Dennis Hof only had Dominio. Hugh Hefner… Well, you see his legacy. I know other guys, and I don’t want to be them. The one-eyed monster, being a camera, or cock, only with enough cash. Because my Madam, Apparently, Models Do Have Standards.

827 Days Without B III, Day 268 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 308 ~Virgil’s B Book Report~

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I planned on talking about all the books I bought, only I’m sort of a pop culture whore. Me… sexist? Duly noted. But I read something racist from a friend today. One word. I don’t fear being WOKE. Indifference killed my son. “Virgil’s B Book Report.”

Friday, May 5, 2023

Saga 308 ~Virgil’s B Book Report~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford whatever’s on the menu. I can read bills, sales, and regrets.

How to Be an Antiracist is not a book I regret reading. And I don’t blame the author for any of my actions… Uh, you kind of did. I hear ya, Lady Sophia. The power of the penis, as Todd says. I don’t regret reading Succubus Lord, either. Um, a whole other story, I know. It’s like looking over the last of Braxton’s medical bills. I don’t blame the veterinarians. But it does show me when I did the worst thing in my whole “life.” I killed my best friend. It could be the second… I mean, if we’re talking about the STUPIDEST thing ever… BIRTH. Anyway, I’m feeling lousy today because the girl I want to sleep with… She used the word “Chinky.” Racist?

“Oh, sugar, you just gone and done the dumbest thing in your whole life.” – Alexis Bledel Sin City (2005)

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes? I’m not sure yet. I’m only starting to get into that book. But let’s stick with my attempt to be an Antiracist. As if I even recall what that means. I say I was more WOKE, and I couldn’t help myself. If this cost me the girl. Stupid MF. Hell! Lady Sophia, I spent a bit of time trying to explain away the slur. She could have meant like chink in the armor. “I try so hard. Can’t seem to get away from misery” Inevitable, ain’t it, Lady Sophia, that I screw this up. Trying to understand “What Makes A Good Man?” Hell! What kind of man am I? Ask Carolina Bound. I sent a nude for her birthday.

Hell! I wanted to talk about this Hunger Games book and Mesmerizing Caroline. What about that book binge I went on? I must also get in on a new Kindle Challenge, Lady Sophia. But after reading the alarm clock, 3:35 AM. Then reading M Anime’s text first thing. And yep, thinking with my penis. Have I found a second Hard Limit when it comes to BDSM? Um, a soft limit. The N-Word in music, dirty Latina maids, Asian fetish, etc. And it gets worse. M Anime’s fur baby is hurt, and I’m yelling at her because you know me, Lady Sophia, “Stay Woke.” I need to read more African American books and more about dead fur babies. Reasons dogs don’t write. Virgil’s B Book Report

824 Days Without B III, Day 265 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 304 ~Tears Shed Lead To Paradise~

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When was I last listening to Eric Thomas’s speech on crying? How about when did I cry for my lost boy last? There are also the tears of how many angels. I’m not headed to paradise… after I die. But seeing I’m alive. “Tears Shed Lead To Paradise”

Monday, May 1, 2023

Saga 304 ~Tears Shed Lead To Paradise~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I hope I have the good sense to invest in shiny things. Don’t dive head first…

You know, like something out of DuckTales, Scrooge McDuck. Hell! It might be worth it. I’m already sick and tired. More so today. No offense to you, Madam Justice. I’ve done lots of talking today; the Man in the Mirror, B, and it’s your turn. As the song goes, “Tell me why? Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache. Tell me why? Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake?” Ha-Ha! Or should I go with this song, “Money for nothin’ and your chicks for Free?” In what world, Madam J? A world without my B? Oh, we’ll get to that because here I am working. No! That’s what I’ll be doing this week. Now it’s only us, and I’m tired. “Don’t cry to give up; cry to keep going.”

Learning how to swim? If I “endure and survive.” Someday it will all be worth it, won’t it, Madam? B and I would both be right here. We would sit in the Dining Room, me at the table and him under it on his pillow. The two of us crying together, and for what, hmm? Braxton cried for me. One more thing I can never forgive myself for. All those long nights of writing, telling myself I would publish a book. And I would have all the time he wanted. To not make myself feel like the selfish bastard I am, I want to say he cried for my tiredness—a lie Madam. Of course. Now I cry to put out the fires. Not Hell!

But Braxton would follow me anywhere. And since I’m still alive. Does Braxton wait for me? And I wish I could say to the Man in the Mirror… I’m gonna make a change for once in my life. It’s gonna feel real good. Gonna make a difference. Gonna make it right.” What did I say to myself on the 30th? Hell, if I know. Tears of laughter or happiness? No! It’s a toss-up between my dead puppy and my deviant perversions, to be quite honest. For example, … let’s say, a fetish for broken women. And OnlyFans is crying about my subscriptions expiring. Tears for losing such heavenly things, Madam. Braxton Barks? Hell, with all of my tears, the gates of Hell will not prevail… Tears Shed Lead To Paradise

820 Days Without B III, Day 261 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will