Tag: The Cherry Collision

Saga 269 ~We Cannot Learn Without Pain~

WillLeave a comment

Didn’t I say I’ll break a hand someday? It hasn’t happened. At least I’d have an excuse. Not to pet Virgil. Or pound away at keys for… reasons. And yes, the palms of my hands are filled with… Anyway, existence is pain. “We Cannot Learn Without Pain.”

Monday, March 27, 2023

Saga 269 ~We Cannot Learn Without Pain~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-Fifth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Or if I decided to be honest. I’m just a sucker for pain, as the song goes.

Of course, not a day goes by; I don’t think about the pain that defines this existence—my son’s death. Has a day gone by that I haven’t brought up Braxton Barks Bradford? And what did I learn from his leaving me? Well, more like his murder. THEY say at the Day Job with all the Humiliations Galore that goes on there. My face turns red. Well, tries. But it’s my hands, Madam. What color was the pen I used singing Braxton’s euthanasia? The Hell if I know. But my hands are red with his blood. Gray or black with B’s ash, hmm? I’m not opening that box again. What about B’s memorial, the money, and the memories? So many pictures I should look at.

Because everything hurts so much, and I’m still so effing STUPID. That happens when you’re busy pounding away on one head and ignoring the other. Oh, with these hands, Madam. With these hands. I can’t say I use them for anything that resembles love. LUST? I could go on and on about that. But first, I’m talking to you on Sunday, March 26, 2023. And I’m trying to keep my hands off my dick. Or from typing perverted desires. Why do you think I keep repeating The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident on January 11, 2022? And The Cherry Collision Thursday, February 16, 2023. I didn’t learn from one, so here I am, suffering. Will the pain subside after the lesson has been learned? Or vitamins…

And what did Virgil Vivi do to deserve the pain he’s in? He’s sitting in Braxton’s room because… I could give you an excuse Madam. I’ve been rereading a lot of quotes from all those dead fur baby books. About when I thought B III would be reincarnated and return. All the books I read only to remain STUPID. I should join the Republican Party. Only they don’t read, and the only burning I’m doing is the heat here. Me, being effing horny and waiting on my time in Hell. That’s right. The Day Job again. What’s there to learn? Madam, I want to join my boy. But he wasn’t smart enough to leave. Harsh! I decided that for him. We Cannot Learn Without Pain.

785 Days Without B III, Day 226 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 268 ~I’ll B Angry Virgil~

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If I were to write about everything making me angry… That’s another book, a way to stay awake or WOKE. And it is libel to get me arrested at some point. But yeah, I’m angry. Like The Hulk, I’m always angry. Mostly at B being gone. I’ll B Angry Virgil

Sunday, March 26, 2023

Saga 268 ~I’ll B Angry Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And even if that makes me a horrible “human being,” it’s better than you… Well, horror movies.

And before you forget, as I did. You should watch “Making of The Last of Us.” If anything, that’s the least of what’s making you mad today. And you did wake up angry… again. As always, it begins with one single truth. Braxton is dead. Father to a murdered son and all that. And you’re the one that did it, so… well, you signed the papers anyway. Always remember. After that, everything should be easier to deal with. But you don’t want to, ha. Now before you turn all selfish, there’s Virgil. How terrible are you? Your side hurts as he lies against it. The way he’s breathing is much different from Braxton’s. You remember how he’d hack in fear for days… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Carry On: Reflections for a New Generation” John Lewis
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (One Day)
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 079 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 086 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

That was one of his he needed to get over. But you? It was only last night; I was looking at the PetSmart where I got him from. When was the last Saturday I visited? Humiliation? The knowledge that I wasn’t the right person for Virgil. Hmm? What about you, though? You’ll have a hard enough time dealing with people this week. And to think I wasted most of yesterday trying not to think about today. Even though the Day Job schedule is in black and white, you were expecting a phone call. Speaking of which, is it eight yet? Outside? Oh, what? You’re that eager to take off your pants… effing edging? I wasted fifteen bucks. Titties on OnlyFans. No tits, and wanting to see Cherry’s. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Black Women’s History of the United States (5)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (One Day)
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 086 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Like getting over The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident on January 11, 2022. Or The Cherry Collision Thursday, February 16, 2023. You have to say that at least once a week. I did snag you some vitamins to try. You would have preferred a sex toy. And what about some actual food for the week? You’ve had pepper dogs and onion rings for two days, ha. And that’s the biggest thing. Well, other than your Enormous Penis… Okay, I’ll stop, hmm. Save that for OnlyFans. At least you fixed things with that woman. Eight out of ten, she says, on your dick. The only affirmation you’re getting today, all because of effing anger. Tomorrow it’s not going anywhere. Today, sitting in bed. I’ll B Angry Virgil.

784 Days Without B III, Day 225 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 266 ~To B Instructional Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I think I should write all I need to do for the day sometimes. Don’t I do that on Sundays? But change the air filter, fix the fence, and find the funds for meds. Then there’s the freeloader, um, Virgil. Teaching him and me. To B Instructional Virgil.

Friday, March 24, 2023

Saga 266 ~To B Instructional Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But unlike most nowadays, I can’t say I started with such and such amount of money.

Don’t get me wrong. I know Lady Sophia. Plenty of people pull themselves up by their bootstraps. as THEY say. You know I want to be all, “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Hell! All day yesterday as I wandered the Day Job, ha. Welcome to your manhood. Nobody teaches you to be a man. Or should I say a good one? The stuff I do, Lady Sophia. Is it sad that Braxton, to this day, is my most tremendous success? Greatest Grammarly… And, of course, how did B III end?

“Pain in my heart but I put it in the grave
Pain in my soul but I put it in the grave
Nowhere else to put it, that’s the way that I was raised –”

Well, you can see what I’ve been reading lately. Stormzy’s Interlude. Do I need to remember Thursday, March 23, 2023, as the date I started listening to Spotify again? How about finding a pet psychic?

What? To read to me about my boy? Hell! I have two books about my son that I won’t even read. No, because I “want” to go to the Day Job instead. And then I’ll return here and read about all the Humiliations Galore I suffered all day. Next week is going to be bad. How to be a horrible human being. I have a plethora of books about that. But I can come up with some “original” ideas. But my Republican tendencies. Then again, I could try, you know. Like last night. I was thinking about how to beat my illness without hospital intervention. This led to me looking up naughty nurses and wanting to eff a particular girl in a hospital gown. Who?

I’m no doctor, do-gooder, or even a dog trainer. V would agree wholeheartedly. I’m sure. No, Lady Sophia. I’m an effing “deviant.” Or, at best, a DOM. Even worse, disgusting. Only I’m not trying to heal anybody, teach, and what about love? Braxton taught that. Yet, like all those dead fur baby books, I’m not reading anymore. Sophia, this week’s title… A Black Women’s History of the United States. Finishing it next week, I hope. That’s the only way I’ll read. I complete another Kindle Challenge, and for what, my Lady? I’m reading paychecks and bills, showing my idiocy. Instructions on how to die, Sophia. The clock tells me what to do, and I wonder why I fail. Myself, Braxton, Virgil. To B Instructional Virgil

782 Days Without B III, Day 223 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 264 ~ Virgil’s Escape, Plan B~

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I thought Virgil didn’t have initiative. He’s been sniffing at a gap in the fence after learning to navigate the stairs. I’ve taught him to run away. But for me, welcome to Hell. I know I’m not escaping and even fun things… “Virgil’s Escape, Plan B.”

Wednesday, March 22, 2023

Saga 264 ~ Virgil’s Escape, Plan B~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford to fix the fence. Virgil’s already sniffing around, looking to escape.

But of course, me being the selfish A-hole I am. Let’s talk about me and my plan B as in… Yeah, you guessed it. I want to be with my boy. I should have followed Braxton. Oh, how many days has it been? 780 days and counting, Inspector. All I do is count these days. Effing inventory! But that’s for another time. What was I doing Monday, March 20, 2023; well, after kicking Virgil out for some alone time. No, Echo, not to masturbate, thankfully. Only I did lie in bed naked and thought of something that hadn’t come to mind in so many years. I imagine it was during my religious phase. Or let’s say, um, spiritual… “Astral Projection.” And so I tried it.

I’m going to have to buy some new books on the subject. I’ve forgotten everything. Inspector, how books were once an escape from life. I can’t even do that anymore; reading anything I want? And don’t get me wrong. I’m not hating on current material. Monday, I’m reading “A Black Women’s History of the United States.” Sunday, was “Carry On: Reflections for a New Generation.” Before I read “How to Be an Antiracist” and “Mesmerizing Caroline – The Movie Theater.” Black skin, white titties. And to be honest with you, Inspector Echo, I want to read about more dead fur babies. But that’s not an escape. Is it? Ask me where I want to be; it’s simple. Holding breathing, Braxton. To escape my grief… NEVER.

Hell! I don’t even know where to run to anymore. “Run To You,” right, Inspector? Writing in general. I mean, I hate the Day Job. I wish to honor my son. I need a doctor. What about providing for the freeloader… um, Virgil. Again I also need a new fence. Letting Virgil escape? One way or another, he’ll end up in a box. Right beside my Braxton, won’t V? Funny he sleeps on the left side. So even now, Braxton is there looking over him. I’m not looking at other “boxes,” if you get my meaning. Pornography, effing no. Effing Republican, am I right? Keeping him away from XXX. But the gun’s in the drawer. Hedonism, Sadism, a release, escaping existence. Virgil’s Escape, Plan B.

780 Days Without B III, Day 221 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 263 ~To B Hurt Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Love Hurts? A song that I’ve never liked but rings true. Since I’m never happy with it. I’m always hungry in one way or another for it. And effing horny. Well, except when I’m mourning my son. For 161 days. And to hurt anyone else. “To B Hurt Virgil”

Tuesday, March 21, 2023

Saga 263 ~To B Hurt Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I will never be hurt again. Oh, sure, I’ll claim victimhood like a Republican.

“I believe I can see the future,” as the song goes. Do rich people have time machines? I still want my Braxton back but damn. The worst pain I’ve ever felt, I keep telling myself today. Today is Sunday, March 19, 2023. Time Travel! But today, Trump is supposed to be arrested. Is anyone hurt? And who? If anything, the pain has become my constant, my love. Hell! Am I becoming like M Anime? Before Braxton died, I can’t say I was ever at 100% at any time. It was more of a “But I’m not crazy. I’m just a little unwell. I know, right now, you can’t tell.” Does my singing help, or does it hurt your ears? My ass is kicked thinking about my “Lost Boy.” Always Braxton.

Remember when it was only these ears hurting me? Saying “I love you,” always, forever? Braxton couldn’t speak such a thing. But he was the only man I ever listened to. Talk about “love is louder.” What’s with all the pop culture references today? Well, I did climb out of bed to talk to you instead of watching whatever and being lazy. My eyes hurt. Better than talking about The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident on January 11, 2022. Oh No. That led to The Cherry Collision Thursday, February 16, 2023. Oops! I should be looking for medicine. But love, you don’t know how badly I want some. Uh, sexual healing. Or some tacos. The doctor said I should cut out the spicy. But yesterday… yeah

After I was done reading, of course. In a “Study,” not a Man Cave. Braxton’s Mausoleum? Dammit, with all our money, you know I would build one. Failing to save Braxton? Hurting that never goes away. But what about you and me? I can save us. I can fix this. I can save you… Not a day goes by that I don’t think I should have joined my B in death. But you, our children, there’s even Little Virgil upstairs waiting. I don’t know what for. Love? My love. A sadist? Yes, I am, my love. But I take no pleasure from the pains I know. Braxton has known for fifteen years. But always and forever love. I’m just a sucker for pain. One more song. To B Hurt Virgil

779 Days Without B III, Day 220 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 262 ~Your Punchline Means My Punches~

WillLeave a comment

I’m going to break a hand someday. Will it be on the shower tile, a Day Job locker, or will I finally go all out? Everything happens for a reason. When my ears were stopped up, and I couldn’t hear people’s jokes? Your Punchline Means My Punches.

Monday, March 20, 2023

Saga 262 ~Your Punchline Means My Punches~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-Forth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And hopefully, I don’t get as raw-dogged as all the others. Always practice safe sex, guys ha-ha.

Why am I laughing? For all the people that make fun of me, you know who’s the worst. I think Taylor Swift had it right “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” Braxton’s knowledge. That’s why he would stomp on my head every morning. Oh, look, here’s my tears for this morning. All I have to do is remember that his purpose was to protect, save, and love. And if punching me in the face with those little legs did the trick. Well, then do it. My Braxton. While I’m all in a musical mood, “It’s no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy.” Braxton protected me from bullies. The two biggest being my old man and me.” The mirror Madam… SIGH

Nah! “I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror.” Hah! Do I not want to eff Taylor Swift anymore? Trust me, Madam. We’ll get to that. Trump was staring at the sun. He’s one sad joke. But I’m usually up before the sun. Even if it’s not at 4AM as I planned. Now if I were a better man, I would change “sun” to “son.” Braxton’s eyes served as a mirror. Only within them, I saw a much better man. Somebody I wanted to be. Not now. Every day if I don’t start the day thinking, “my son is dead,” it’s, “I’ll join him, my B III.” It wouldn’t be a punch in the gut to anyone. Then again, no more jokes.

Punchlines! And here’s another one, Madam. The phone has become the sun. Oh, the light. And I spend at least a half hour punching at the bedsheets. Wayward dick Madam. Staring at orbs, I want more than any sun. Those are called breasts, tits, yabbos, fun bags, dirty pillows, etc. To think of such a release Madam. But instead, I get so angry. Please! Not at women. It’s the fact that I have to punch into the Day Job, and for what now, hmm? It was wanting to throw punches in that Hell. Even after saying the comedian is dead. Myself. But no! I let those bastards’ punchlines go unpunched, and Braxton paid the price. Virgil’s no joke, me neither. Your Punchline Means My Punches

778 Days Without B III, Day 219 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 261 ~I’ll B Annoying Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What really annoys me? Air. Being a black man in America, I shouldn’t say that. But I continue to breathe in and out. I listen to members of the GOP that… um, anyway. B III, of course, is missing out, but what is Heaven? While I’ll B Annoying Virgil.

Sunday, March 19, 2023

Saga 261 ~I’ll B Annoying Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you are… well, you want tacos. What’s one more thing not to share with Virgil Vivi?

I shared with Braxton all the time. And look where that got him. I’m sure Virgil doesn’t want to hear about it. Well, that is, if you REALLY talked to him at all. Today or tomorrow? At the moment, you’re only annoyed with yourself, to be honest. Or with me. Apologies. I didn’t learn from The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident on January 11, 2022. Oh No. That led to The Cherry Collision Thursday, February 16, 2023. And yes, you’re still sick. To think, brave people, brainy, and God knows better, would be recovering somehow. You hate wearing a watch because you’re clocking your time in Hell. What? 777 days? There are your pendants of Braxton. Oh, your hoody or Linus’s blanket. And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “How to Be an Antiracist” by Ibram X. Kendi
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (One Day)
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 072 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 079 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Like everything you wear to “act right,” it’s annoying to report my failures every Sunday. And, yes, these are my failures, but Hell! You’ve already failed six, getting out of bed this morning. You won’t have the time for five. Again look at the watch. Sit still! Four was you annoying Virgil by kicking him out of the bedroom. I uploaded all those movies yesterday, and you took advantage of yourself… But like Norah Jones sang out. “I don’t know why I didn’t come.” There’s no time for three, either. And even if you had the whole week, you wouldn’t do anything. As for two, didn’t I say I uploaded new porn? Who are you, Lou effing Bega. Talk about, One-hit wonder… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Carry On: Reflections for a New Generation” John Lewis
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (One Day)
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 079 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I like Rebekah, Scarlet, Chanel, and Audrey, A little bit of… It’s annoying being pathetic. How about downright STUPID when it comes to M Anime and Cherry? There’s B’s Aunt. And what do you want me to tell you? I’ve read from two highly educated and influential black men. Yeah fuck you Ron DeSantis. And while we’re on the subject fuck Donald Trump too. Do you want to know what else is annoying? Hoping Trump will get what’s coming to him. Only did he ever kill a fur baby? If you weren’t looking up porn. You might know these things. But besides that, you’re looking up medicine and the time. How much does Virgil have? Will you love him like Braxton? I’ll B Annoying Virgil

777 Days Without B III, Day 218 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 259 ~Write Way, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Busy living or dying? I exist. And it’s getting harder to breathe. Not that bothered B III. But I won’t ever write that what I did was right. Not when I’m writing about everything wrong with me. Going on with V. “Write Way, Braxton, Virgil”

Friday, March 17, 2023

Saga 259 ~Write Way, Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I shouldn’t have any health issues. But you know I’m an effing liar… sometimes. Often?

The biggest lie I ever told? As I was telling Braxton the Wednesday when he was trying to get my attention. The Friday as I put him in the car to go to the vet. There was the Saturday night I lay beside him. And Sunday, January 31, 2021, as I carried him back to the vet… Like the song goes AHEM, “We gon’ be alright.” And here we are, 775 days later. Well, one of us. Today is one of those days I want to be with my son. Well, that’s every day, to be sure. Only today, even more so. I heard something interesting this morning. You know that word unalive? “THEY” use it to keep their content. The almighty dollar, as always.

Since I can’t use the effing S-Word because I don’t need the cops showing up at the door… um again. I’ll only say I want to be with my son. The freeloader… Virgil Vivi’s here. Sophia, it’s the only reason I’m not buck-naked lying here with some chicken noodles. Hell! All of the times I almost died before I met Braxton. Relax, Lady Sophia, you can say I’m quoting a movie. How about a book? Remember I said I’m an effing liar, I believe. According to the Kindle Challenge and now Goodreads, I read “How to Be an Antiracist.” Everything but the Notes and About the Author sections. And what about watching The 1619 Project. I need my eyes for that, don’t I? SIGH trying.

But today, let’s start with the basics. The Cherry Collision once The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident is kicking my ass. How the Hell did I survive the Day Job. Eff Me! On that subject, it’s why I’m late talking to you, Sophia. I was writing Cherry and reading M Anime. At least for a few minutes, I didn’t feel like joining B. Women and fur babies. But then we get to my eyes which have been itching and burning. Effing maddening. When I returned, I immediately popped a painkiller and shared some fries with Virgil. Would Braxton be proud of me? It shows I’m trying to keep existing. Talking to you, looking up drugs. Knowing my son is dead, but today. Write Way, Braxton, Virgil

775 Days Without B III, Day 216 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 257 ~Virgil Bags Braxton’s Time~

WillLeave a comment

I haven’t cried today. I can’t afford it. But you know how I begin the day. If I had billions, I wouldn’t be doing “that.” The Day Job pay is crap, but I find the time to teach 2V to go down the stairs so he can take one. “Virgil Bags Braxton’s Time”

Wednesday, March 15, 2023

Saga 257 ~Virgil Bags Braxton’s Time~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. This leaves me more time to cry… or not. I wouldn’t be one for servants. Norman…

You know, the butler from “The Big O” series. If it was between Bruce Wayne’s “Alfred and Roger Smith’s “Norman?” I’d choose Norman, I know. Debates in the shower. Inspector, that’s when I’m not jerking it to Madison Paige. Oh, we’ll get to that soon. Today’s point is Inspector: I can’t stand the pain even though it’s well deserved. Inspector, it’s Times Like These; I want to spill any other fluid. Endure and Survive. Sunday, so the last episode of The Last of Us, which I’ve been thinking about. That and the fact that I like the sound of the rain. Drowning out all the hurt in water, Inspector? One of “my” greatest fears is drowning. (Shudders). I even have a deal with Braxton’s Aunt.

If the end comes by “The Way of Water,” she will fetch me with a boat. How did Noah do it? It wasn’t a boat big enough for all the tears I shed when B died. Have I cried today? I’m sure Braxton’s Aunt has. She and her husband lost their fur baby, Midnight, Inspector. If it’s not grief, then it’s fear. I’m sure I brought up what some reactor said about the three emotions of sadness, fear, and anger. Of everything I have to be scared of today. Cherry wrote a play that shows what a fucked up person I am. Abusive stories Inspector. Only I’m not angry at her at all. If anything, I’m mad at myself for several reasons. Spitting, Sweating, Sick

But as long as V’s ok? He can use the stairs by himself for the most part. V lacks initiative. Well, not when it comes to the gate. He’ll go on the carpet if I leave him on the floor. Inspector, I could kick him out then… back to Braxton’s Room and be alone edging. Which, of course, is how I ended up sick. Thursday, February 16, 2023, The Cherry Collision. Last week I thought I was healing… Inspector, it’s a million times worse now. And now I go back and forth between needing a doctor and saying I got what I effing deserve. Effing dark. Inspector, what becomes of Virgil without me? Braxton? Virgil’s time? Mine? What do I do? Virgil Bags Braxton’s Time

773 Days Without B III, Day 214 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 256 ~Virgil, B, A Word~

WillLeave a comment

I’ve always given examples of how I know Braxton loves me. One I miss the most is him sitting at the corner of the bed, watching the door. Loving anybody else. The things I do. But I prefer the Word always to love. Always here. Virgil, B, A Word

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

Saga 256 ~Virgil, B, A Word~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And for the love of money or rather why I love money, and you, B, family…

You know that song “More Than Words?” The most romantic way to ask for a blowjob. Whoa! Sorry about that. But I didn’t mention the other B-word, did I? Braxton? Sunday to Tuesday, and every other day that ends in “Y,” time travel. So we’ll always come back to him. I want to talk about “You and me – always – and forever.” What about How Long Will I Love You? And again, More Than Words? Showing you. Well, the words are still there, Baby Girl. All the I love yous and such. You know how I feel about those words. Even though I mean them with everything I am. Will they keep us together? You’re here, and that’s enough. I’m still here. Always, forever…

And so is my Braxton? You have to understand. The one that couldn’t speak a word was also the one that loved me the most. Or at least I hope he still does. Braxton’s, wherever. My Olds might have said the words, “I love you” at some point. My Ma, in particular, I believe. Only it wasn’t the words. It was the fact that they kept up my existence here. Good or bad, the reality is there weren’t only words. There was action from them. Even if I regret it now. Honestly, my love letter to the world would be to never speak, Baby Doll. Everything I said to Braxton when I should have followed him, like taking a walk. Fucking darker than I intended.

Well, today is Sunday. I don’t feel too good at the moment. I’m scared right now. If I’m being honest. And not only because it’s the series finale of The Last of Us. Children, right? Our kids need me, us for sure. And that’s not me being some asshole, Republican. Fucktards screaming about family values. There are all types of families. As long as there’s love. Even if it’s not in so many words. I want them to always know that I do love them. I love them like pancakes, as I always said about B. Really pouring the Bisquick. Yep, into the love of my life. And we made them. So I love you, them, myself, Braxton, the world. Virgil? Virgil, B, A Word

772 Days Without B III, Day 213 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will