Gospel 035 ~Will’s Behind The Times~

Most of my life is spent trying to keep my behind out of the fire. While I’ve accepted the fact that I’m going to Hell, second circle, if anything, I’m still so hot here and not because of the plague. Will’s Behind The Times.

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Gospel 035 ~Will’s Behind The Times~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I don’t have to rely on WebMD. For the record, I don’t recommend anyone read WebMD. There’s a reason I now know what Proctitis is. Let’s just say Ranch Wings and Ghost Pepper Sauce, while tasty is not a good combo. You also know Inspector Echo; I am not one for toilet humor. I’m getting it out of the way, at least. As per usual, I get a lot grosser gee I wonder why. By the end of this week, I suppose I’ll be crying about a girl again.

Another one, you say? She broke me. I’ll admit, well no, it was Talin Shields (Blow Slow Talin) that did it. If you look her up, that’s your fault. Anyway, Talin broke my streak, and the new girl broke me last night. I’ve been burning ever since restarting NO FAP and all. I need to be mindful when it comes to my shifts in mood. My Dæmon is being a little badass, and I don’t know why. He didn’t get to sleep in my bed last night, and as we speak, he has his behind on the floor. I can’t explain it but considering I’m out of bed for once. Now I’m still running behind schedule, and you know how I hate being late for anything. It’s not like you’re paying me and speaking of which, what about the things I want to do for a living? I haven’t even looked at “For A Fine, Cherry Spread” since Camp NaNoWriMo.

If you’re looking for something a little more light-hearted? Okay, let’s consider I have a heart how about Starbucks Frappuccino? I had a craving yesterday, so I bought a four-pack, but they’re smaller than the standard bottle. Imagine my surprise and annoyance. Hell, I’m looking for anything to avoid talking about how I stabbed myself in the back. Yeah, I suck at the whole, giving myself a pat on the back. Now you remember MILF Dos, and who doesn’t? I was trying to be kind to her by speaking every day. Well, now we don’t speak at all. So yeah, I have the new girl and what was the phrase that pissed her off. AHEM… Can’t believe you live like this. At least I know why she’s mad at me.

Yes, Echo I’m an ASS, always Will’s Behind The Times.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 033 ~Women Always Find The Truth~

If I lie, she’ll make things up, if I’m honest, she’ll think I’m a million times worse, so yeah, I’m lying. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day, as THEY say, that wouldn’t be a lie, but wouldn’t I still be hiding facts? Women Always Find The Truth

Monday, August 3, 2020

Gospel 033 ~Women Always Find The Truth~

Hundred And Forty-Eight Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I better be if I don’t intend to live mine alone. Does that sound like I don’t have a high opinion of women? Madam Justice, I pay them the highest ideal of all, I tell them the TRUTH. Now, why hasn’t LIE made it to my Most Hated Words list? I know the value of lies, yes. I lie to save my behind. So I’ll lie at the Day Job, to my “father” and even to myself. Hell, I even lie to my Dæmon. He got me singing, “I know, I know, I know.” Like any woman, though, he knows the truth of what I am.

For the longest time, I figured I was scared of women but not for the reason that they may think. I’m shy, I’m an introvert, I suffer from Social Anxiety, take your pick. You want the truth, how about another song, “Everybody knows I’m a motherfucking monster.” Pardon my language Madam Justice, but again I’m only being honest. I can go all-in on a guy only wanting one thing, and that’s true enough. I believe in the primal instinct. On the basic level, men and women come together for one thing, and everything else is born of that, not only children. Only people pretend everything else and for what, to deny themselves? I have seen it firsthand. My words in the hands of someone else and as fast as you can say Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off. So why would I waste time lying?

I respect a woman for her intelligence… at least I try. I’m still thinking about that video I watched on being CREEPY. So I’m supposed to lie my entire life, never take a free breath, be trapped because of the concept of nature vs. nurture? I always take responsibility, but I would work for all the money in the world than kill myself off. I’m not suicidal, but anytime I felt that way, it’s been because of other people. You can’t tell a woman that right off the bat. Neither can I tell her everything I want to do to her. The idea though that I want to fuck her, well, she knows. More to me lies (sigh) Undiscovered. And I know I sound like one of those women-hating freaks, but I love women, and Women Always Find The Truth.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 028 ~There’s Yabbos Then Will~

Is it an insult to talk about Yabbos, I mean sure I could say something about eyes and I would kill for a girl to tell me I’m brilliant or I have an enormous… what you’ve never heard of Da Vinci’s Notebook, ha. There’s Yabbos Then Will

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Gospel 028 ~There’s Yabbos Then Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m not STUPID. Inspector Echo, I am sorry about using that word. STUPID is the ugliest word that I know next to SKEEVY. Now no doubt, I’m SKEEVY Inspector Echo, and I wish I could go more into that subject. Tonight I wanted to talk about how I’m enjoying the plague era. Yes, I’m still waiting on zombies, but no, I’m not celebrating death. All my motivations and self-help pretty much say the following, you reap what you sow. I predicted this week would be Hell, so here we go.

Let’s start with the obvious Inspector Echo. I LOVE YABBOS. Somehow not all Yabbos. There are those that I like a lot. The ones that get me are those I feel somewhat of an attachment to. While I was at the Day Job for what sin I have yet to suss out, I started thinking about what else Yabbos. Do you know how much cash I’ve spent on Yabbos over a year? Yabbos that I’ve never seen. Wanted to see more of, will never see. $450, that’s between Alice Little, some bitch that scammed me, and MILF Dos. Yet every day, it’s a struggle of offering $500 to see either MILF Dos’s or Cherry’s Yabbos. Hell, how much have I spent on Yabbos that delivered? I have no idea Inspector but Is It A Crime Sade. I use to think paying for porn was when it’s freaking free everywhere always.

Now I respect artists. Now don’t laugh Inspector Echo but I respect women too. Only I don’t respect myself, which brings me to the second part of today. The worst part about me is not that I’m afraid all the time. What Hurts The Most (thank you Rascal Flatts) is this. I don’t want to be STUPID. Have you ever napped so good that you forget what day it is, what time and everything in-between? Yeah, I wasted another three hours of my life sleeping and when I woke up well… I saw the soft light outside, saw the time and thought I was late to the Day Job. The workplace I hate where I’m treated like the STUPIDEST person in all creation, I mustn’t be late for that. Who am I kidding, I’m pissed I wasted 500 Diamonds on what else Valkyrie’s Yabbos ha.

Yep, There’s Yabbos Then Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 026 ~Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance~

Do you matter, if I asked the Day Job, I’m nowhere near ESSENTIAL, I know plenty of women who think I’m the worst thing for asking, “how are you?” I look at myself in the mirror, I should go back to bed. “Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance.”

Monday, July 27, 2020

Gospel 026 ~Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance~

Hundred And Forty-Seven Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how many others can I name besides Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos? It feels good to get down to brass tacks once again because I finished my book this morning. I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it… a book that no one will ever discover. Hell, I even set it up for a trilogy. Possibly with that UK blonde, I was talking about last night and Reagan Kathryn. I’m one in a million men that want to well… I think I have written enough sex talk for a while, or have I? I’m kidding, hmm?

Only this afternoon, while I was contemplating going to the store, I saw a picture of Momokun. It was one of her lewdest, and I wanted to say something about her lips. Now, this brings me to my point today. If I had said something like that, she would have blocked me, deleted me, something. How many messages, though, do you think she gets like that? You know one of my favorite tunes is The Man by Aloe Blacc. I’m not anyone exceptional, Madam Justice, and I know this goes against all my motivations, but I’m nobody. You know I’m always saying I want to be a better man, but most people see me is either the ant or the monster. I’m either not worth looking at. A sign of things to come, or I’m the worst thing to happen.

So I get used to being nothing, I accept it. Then it’s like I tell a girl she’s pretty and wham, bam, damn. Don’t get me wrong I know I’ve gone overboard with many a girl, I take responsibility. Look at something like OnlyFans, though. I’m again a number in the heard if I ignore a girl, so what. If I give them attention, I’m usually paying for it. You peek at any of my social accounts, and I am a pervert extraordinaire. Then again, who is paying attention to me? I go back and forth even here, Madam Justice. I can’t tell you everything because the moment that I do as the song goes, sigh, I’m a Bad Man.

Where’s the middle ground ever? How can I be someone who exists without being someone everybody will hate or fear? It’s easier to be nobody. So why am I writing?

Such are delusions of grandeur… Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 021 ~Will Knows His Writes~

I don’t think I offended anybody tonight or more like this morning. That is unless Cherry or a few other ladies suddenly take an interest in Camp NaNoWriMo. Still, I clocked my 5000 words, counting this. Will Knows His Writes

Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Gospel 021 ~Will Knows His Writes~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I am also becoming a night owl. How mad was I last night that I had zoned out? No real sleep, and by the time I realized I had been in some sort of fog, it was daylight already. My Dæmon was so confused, and what’s keeping me up, hmm?

For two nights straight, I have been working on “For A Fine, Cherry Spread.” 5000 words a day Inspector Echo, that’s what I promised myself, especially with the Day Job. Next week is going to be Hell, but let’s focus on this one. How about only tonight or this morning to be sure. Eric Thomas says something to the tune of AHEM, we don’t sleep when tired, we sleep when done. By the time we have our chat, I expect to see daylight again. I do all of this for a story that I’ll never publish, that pisses me off and punishes me. I told you it cost me my friendship with Cherry. Last night while procrastinating, I noticed I lost another friend. At least I haven’t been thinking much about MILF Dos lately. I’m into my fourth week of NO FAP (24 days, 7 hr, 1 min. 32 sec).

I would say this is a benefit, but again what’s it all for? So that I can lie to Camp NaNoWriMo? I lied about those days I clocked in 100 words because I wanted my badges. Tonight I told them I wrote 4600 words. Yes, I did Inspector Echo, but I only had 4000 before midnight, so I added 600, which explains why I’m late talking to you. I have to catch up. On Thursday, which it is now, I should have 37,099 words. As it stands, I have 33,400. Nobody would know or care if I gave up or cheated through creation. Only like Inky Johnson, I can’t cheat. I just admitted to doing that? 100 words, no writing. Writing 600 more past midnight?

I walked out on the Day Job this week, so I won’t be working for or writing a paycheck next week. Inspector Echo, that’s not my story. Sometime this afternoon, I got jealous of Eric Vall. He’s on “Succubus Lord 16” on top of everything else he’s written, but I know my lane, don’t I?

I’m sorry, but I’m writing regardless. Will Knows His Writes.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 019 ~Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind~

I wish people would make up their minds. Either I never talk, I talk too much, and what was I crying about a couple weeks ago, another block, getting deleted, etc. Not to mention, my words are all over the place. “Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind.”

Monday, July 20, 2020

Gospel 019 ~Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind~

Hundred And Forty-Six Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I wonder does anyone with so much money live by this rule. For the record, this comes from a grander law. I read once about the things that come out of your mouth. As you can see or hear, most days, I prescribe to the language of the Men In Black.

“Silence your native tongue” MIB

“YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” – A Few Good Men

Let’s start with the truth. Every conversation we have here is about the non-fiction. Of course, there are things I don’t say and stuff I cannot show. Hell Madam Justice, this is a confession more for Inspector Echo, but let me tell you. I’ve been in juvenile detention once upon a time. Never been to jail as an adult, but I’m like Tom DuBois. I mean, I have no intention of ever seeing a “real” prison because of what I’ve been taught goes on there. People can’t handle my truth, and at times I can’t either. I will instead be silent than utter a lie. Now I do lie but again like Tom, only to save my ass at times. Madam Justice, I spend far too much time adhering to what others think of me; to fight it all though?

“I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.” Scarface

It’s not necessary. I say way too much in the form of making conversation. Remember, when I told everyone that my Grandfather caught the Coronavirus (COVID-19). Did I talk about my little sister being in quarantine too? It was accurate, and people do need to know, judging by the state of the country. Now, what about anything to do with Yabbos or my penis. Both necessary in my life but not in anybody else’s, so what’s left for me? I can talk about my Dæmon. Yep, when everyone’s having babies.

Kindness though? I don’t think I ever wrote this rule down, but it goes like so. Do You: Harm No One. Of course, I see exceptions to that rule as with most. I don’t like to hurt anyone outside of BDSM play or even vanilla. Now that’s too much information, I know Madam Justice. It’s like looking up Cindy Aurum, and next thing you know, she’s in my erotica or porn, I guess. What if I did live by today’s rule? I surely would be a monk, but would I have peace. Well, along with honesty, necessity, and kindness, yes, peace but speaking it? I don’t know how Madam Justice. Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 206 ~All Greek To Will~

Too many talking heads, too many voices, and so many versions of what happened today, not that I’m giving a detailed explanation because I would speak more gibberish and hell this isn’t Dirty Diana’s day but not mine either, “All Greek To Will.”

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Episode 206 ~All Greek To Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, work for somebody else and eventually they’ll get it, lie and make what you can or let someone play stupid, you know what they say about a fool and his money and my head has been everywhere from Jenna Foxx to the day job, and why not dream of Amandla Stenberg.

The story of my life Inspector Echo because I honestly don’t want to talk about the day I had at work, and of course I could tell about fear but why not be an ARGonaut or probably more Odysseus, being lost, facing great Scylla, or any hydra for that matter. Anyway I usually talk about my sins the first being I continue to go to the day job, and I don’t understand anything, and so if my fear is the heart of the monster, the heads are ANXIETY, REGRET, and GUILT. Anxiety is what I’m feeling the most of now, even alone in this room I know there are eyes on me, my manager watching me stumbling around like a zombie on the camera back at the store, my phone number spam central, one more Facebook friend down who probably said something like “Fuck That Guy” yes Inspector Echo, LANGUAGE.

My third sin is nursing regret, I swear I don’t want to be at the day job but who does and yet I will continue to feel regret for letting the manager down, what the Hell right, hating myself for not doing enough to hurt myself, like something out of Dogma. If that isn’t enough what about what I’m doing right now, more like who but I’m keeping it in my pants, but Odysseus lost six sailors, so six girls are making me lose control:

  1. College Princess Ava Exploited “ExCoGi”
  2. Jenna Foxx “My Sister’s Hot Friend” “I Don’t Believe You”
  3. Sabrina Nichole
  4. Melody Parker “Bipartisan Bonage
  5. The MILF Model
  6. Amandla Stenberg “The Darkest Minds”

Now comes the guilt, if I was talking about the day job, the fourth sin, I lied, I was stupid, and as always I wasted time, and you know next to overwhelming terror yes let’s give the monster so many heads, again Anxiety, Regret, Guilt, Stupidity, Time. My fifth sin is that I know so well I can do so much worse, I’m burning, hated, horny, and huffing and puffing with my rage at myself because if there are not more horrific sins, there is such glory to be found. Six is a combination of things, my six impossible things that aren’t getting done, how about what I think about those six women, I quote Shakespeare to one today and at the same time called her a whore (yes my dirty mouth) and these hands.

Not using my greatest weapons to save myself, hell I might as well drown be it tears, sweat, some other bodily fluid because I’m no hero, I don’t understand people or myself, and for that I’m sorry; this day and age All Greek To Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 199 ~Willing To Be Footloose~

Big confessions of 2019 and I said it before but what a way to start the year; B III and I are making it though, and if only everyone knew forgiveness as he does, yeah three shots would leave anyone PO’ed what about nine? Willing To Be Footloose

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Episode 199 ~Willing To Be Footloose~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, not by hurting the innocent; you know I wrote down 365 Rules for my life, and without a doubt, I’m making more, you don’t propose at weddings, share other people’s personal lives, leave those blameless as painless, show goes on.

So my first sin Inspector Echo; I don’t like people; I think we are long overdue a plague of some sort but that being out there, life sucks enough for me not to fuck it up for others (Language) so silly me wanting to integrate myself to the masses and in so doing losing music. Monday I took over the speaker at work, keep in mind, one guy has run it for months, but I put on my playlist and come Tuesday, we are no longer allowed to listen with it… am I taking it too personally like always, perhaps?

My second sin, of course, comes from the guilt I feel, the shame, and everybody knows this is my fault, it has to be, I haven’t felt like this since I wrote a bit of poetry to a girl and a line from Twilight which nearly got me fired. Maybe I am growing some, remember when I got a ticket and was ready to kill myself before my father got to and if I lost my job… next sin, I’m not dead, but I believe in The Walking Dead, not only the show Inspector Echo.

I’m nearly ready to become a prepper for zombies, my friends know me so well, and that’s my fourth sin, I LIED to them about certain things, and I don’t lie unless my life is on the line and in this instance, it wasn’t, merely my pride. Doesn’t explain my fifth sin, to my best friend, my son, how his father can spend more on a woman than on his well-being, “B III” has gone to the vet twice and I spent more to see some tits (Watch Your Language).

Now we have my sixth sin, right out of the book 1984 you know the concept of “Doublethink” how I can consider a woman both a Madonna and the Whore in the same moment. Sin Seven is you pay a whore, and at least Braxton isn’t alone in my wasteful spending because I won’t buy new boots for myself, I can but I won’t because I’m Scrooge and so I listened to two co-workers laughing at me, so for eight I have begun tuning out the world even more so.

Nine and I have so much more to say, but this is only a symptom of a bigger problem, I’m Wasting Time, sleeping, playing The Walking Dead, sipping a cappuccino, and now I’m Run Boy Run these days, forgive me Inspector Echo; Willing To Be Footloose.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 275 ~People Lie, Don’t Stand There~

I talked about taking ten steps last week, and now I don’t know whether to stand or run, but at the end of the day I can’t lie down, but isn’t that what I did at work today *sigh* then again I might need that breath. People Lie, Don’t Stand There now

Monday, April 02, 2018

Lesson 275 ~People Lie, Don’t Stand There~

Twenty-Sixth Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today, but I am not dead yet which is one of the meanings of this rule; this is but another way to say that I will not join the dead. I will not wait my turn; I will not mourn my life away or even dance on their graves as much as I may want to. The second concept of this rule is a lesson I learned again today, people will lie about you, people will want you to stand for this, but if you hold to their lies what else can you do but fall?

“ let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you are meant to be.” Kylo Ren

Given my many chances with death or maybe just this moment, I don’t want to die, the plethora of zombie entertainment shows an overwhelming majority when faced with the dead, stand and fight, or they run, but all choose to live. I have never been one to mourn the dead, my grandmother, aunts, more family, and maybe you could call me heartless, but I do not wallow in tears or even blood, because I can’t swim, there’s a rule in there somewhere, right? Once those that hurt me are gone why do they deserve another drop of sweat, I got my quart of blood, in the end, I need only move on, always keep moving.

“Compromise where you can. Where you can’t, don’t. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say, ‘No, *you* move’.” Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Now call me a hypocrite but in the same token when somebody lies on me, sweeps something under the rug, I move and I find another place to stand; take my general manager today, what did he make me out to be today, a coward. A man would have moved, a man would have gotten in his face and asked him, who the fuck does he think he’s talking to, does this man think he can call me out like this, an on a racial note a black man tearing another black man down. Allow me to break a bit of a personal record since I haven’t mentioned that bitch in a while but my name is Will, capital WILL and I’m not skeevy, creepy, or some would-be obsessive. She’s not worth the time; I’m just a stupid guy that liked a more idiotic girl.

Some falsehoods should be lying in the dirt, that doesn’t mean you have to dig each one up and the ones that you do, you expose, no more skeletons will find a home in my closet. No more masks either, as I ponder which one to wear today because I know the truth don’t I, People Lie, Don’t Stand There.
“Truth is singular. Its “versions” are mistruths.” Cloud Atlas (2012)

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 243 ~Don’t Pretend To Be~

I don’t want to pretend, but I wouldn’t mind dreaming just a little bit more, and I have plenty of ideas, only I don’t want to lie, and she shouldn’t lie either or even want to lie at all. Don’t Pretend To Be; orgasms are not optional.

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Lesson 243 ~Don’t Pretend To Be~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, for no matter what costume I decide she wears, where I choose, or what lesson she must learn, she will always be mine. If you don’t know me by now, lying is a pet peeve. Now I know I lie, and that is why I regularly have to reinvent myself and others, but as I heard in porn once, your naughty bits always understand what they want, vote with your crotch and all that, just saying.

When it comes to the bedroom women don’t like to fake it, and neither do I, maybe it makes me a mean person, but I don’t just take any woman to my bed, and before there is an uproar, many women would feel the same way about a guy like me. Now a costume doesn’t say I like the person any less but hell, if you knew the hours I’ve spent trying to find the outfit a certain pornstar wears or the stories I would want a woman to cosplay… Sick Fux Dolly, anyone? Let me also say this; I won’t be a lackluster lover either, people say I don’t communicate ever, sex and power. Could be one in the same and violence and not against lovers, but when I’m not in my playroom, I’m in my “playroom” GTA, The Last of Us, Until Dawn, speaking of TLOU, yeah I have some fucked up fantasies.

While I would like to have mutual fantasies, that’s optional but orgasms… as I said I refuse to be mediocre, I want to know I get a woman off and if I can’t that’s probably the only time I’ll take a lesson from a submissive. I will educate a submissive on what I like, but there should never be a question of whether she wants to be with me, that should be as easy as breathing, as necessary as food, as high as any drug, and as welcome as a glass of ice water in Hell. Of all the things women accuse me of; when I want somebody, I go all in and only stop when I hear a safeword or when I obviously admit I’m honestly a complete moron.

I don’t pretend to be perfect, but when it comes to these things I don’t pretend to be the sweet guy either, and the last thing I want is a submissive who indeed isn’t such a woman for me and so, Don’t Pretend To Be.

I Will Have No Fear