Journey 015 ~My Change, B, V~

Failing as an American? Become a MAGA Cracker Hat. Relish in hatred and ignorance for those not the “correct” skin tone. Be broke. I’m nowhere near Cracker Hat dumb. I like Yabbos. All colors, shapes, and sizes. I Need A Dollar. My Change, B, V.

Wednesday, July 16, 2025

Journey 015 ~My Change, B, V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I haven’t made a dime this week. And much like MAGA preaches. I’m an able-bodied American. And Black…

Effing Cracker Hats would send me to “Alligator Alcatraz” without question. As if that scares me now. Another one of my sins is not caring about my brothers and sisters.

Inspector, I’m ready to go all Land of Confusion for “my country.” Less Genesis, more Disturbed. But no. Today and every day begin and end with my boys, Braxton and Virgil. My sons, my children. The ones that made me change from… WHATEVER, into a friend, a father, and someone that can’t afford to Eff up. So where’s my money?

Inspector, There, “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked.” I ended my boy. Braxton isn’t here. Yes, yes, Euthanasia, but a bag of ash and another of beige/tan fur. And then I rescued Virgil. Second Born.

Braxton was a dollar, and Virgil was the change. It doesn’t make sense. Do I think I’m funny? Also, I should quit being a meanie. MJ said this about making the world a better place.

“If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change.”
MJ

B’s Favorite Girl would be proud of me for knowing this from the Supernatural series:

That’s what hell is. Forgetting what you were.
Malleus Maleficarum

And that’s it, Inspector. I’m a “Bad Man,” Inspector, nowhere near R. Kelly bad. And I’ll never be an effing MAGA Cracker Hat. But I’m a bad person trying real, real hard to be a good one. Only I can’t save myself, so why did I think I could save my kids, B and V?

Braxton wasn’t a choice. B jumped onto the bed one morning, chowing down on waffles.

Speaking of jumping into bed…

What about “My Girl,” Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime? Again, unlike The Cracker Hats, I know, Puerto Rico is part of the U.S.A. Eff Tony Hinchcliffe too, Echo.

But the WWE likes him, and I still watch wrestling, which is one more sin of mine. But I’m not thinking about all the yummy Yabbos in the women’s division. Give me Cherry, @SeeJaneGoTV, and especially M Anime. Am I a cheat, too? In the spirit of Sir Mix-a-Lot, Ahem, I like big breasts if you cannot guess. You other brothers can attest… Seriously, E.

How much have I paid to see a girl’s copious cleavage, talk about my c*ck? Or make me come? I’m broke. I Need A Dollar. Better? My Change, B, V

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 011 ~FEAR ME, B, V~

Be Not So Fearful. I wish. I fear my book… No! Braxton’s book will not be a success, and what does that mean? I’d join Braxton, but don’t I have to look after his little brother Virgil? And their “stepmom” needs a house to visit. “FEAR ME, B, V”

Saturday, July 12, 2025

Journey 011 ~FEAR ME, B, V~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But I’m not Bone Crusher. “I ain’t never scared.” And he ain’t a billionaire. And me?

“At first I was afraid, I was petrified. Thinking I could live without you by my side.” Oh, what would my little Braxton think of me? The usual. “My Daddy’s weird.” Anytime I would pick him up to dance. “May I Have This Dance?” I haven’t asked Virgil that, Lu.

Every day after “The Long Walk,” I check his little face and all over for any sign of ticks. Do you remember when that was my greatest fear? It was only a few days ago.

Lunalesca, what I fear the most, though I didn’t know it at the time, is watching my son, my Braxton, die. Talk about being scared to death. And I was too STUPID to follow him.

Lunalesca, what do I fear?

I haven’t been so scared since “The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident…” Should I turn to OnlyFans again? I have around twenty bucks there. And speaking of medical “emergencies,” I haven’t been this scared since I had to get my ears irrigated. It was more like somebody “ran a train” on my right ear. A Bukkake scene on my ear, Lunalesca.

Effing waking up this morning, I had a severe case of FOMO, so I was on “X” cutting up scenes from Saimin Seishidou: The Case of Miyajima Tsubaki. Why does it frighten me not to come first… Bad choice of words? And we’ll speak about M Amine soon, my Lu.

What has been scaring me the most, to quote Aloe Blacc, “I Need a Dollar.”

“Are you scared? We’re all scared. You’d have to be crazy not to be scared.”
Major Chip Hazard “Small Soldiers”

My boys and I are all small men. Again, a bad choice of words. I lifted my Braxton so high, I sent him straight to Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, or wherever. I carry Virgil high above the green, trying to avoid bugs and keep him from joining his brother, Lunalesca.

With any luck, it will be a long time. “And love is a long, long road.” I expected Braxton would have silver fur when his time came. First, second, third, the “Love of My Life.”

Will that be playing when I’m with Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime? I don’t know, but she’s shared how she wants to “make love.” “Come Together,” right now. Over me. If I survive FEAR. FEAR ME, B, V

1623 Days Without B III, Day 1064 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 010 ~Braxton’s Reading Level V~

I’m not one of these book-burning, MAGA, “Cracker Hats.” Thank Cherry for that one. Anyway, how many books have I read that were appropriate for my furry boys? And if they knew how I spoke to their potential stepmom. “Braxton’s Reading Level V.”

Friday, July 11, 2025

Journey 010 ~Braxton’s Reading Level V~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Do I look like a teacher? I intend to teach my boys’ stepmom, M Anime, something…

Don’t I mean Braxton and Virgil’s “potential” or “future” stepmom? And what will I be teaching her? Something like Moving In: A Slice of Life Contemporary Romance (The House Husband’s Harem Book 1), which I finished reading this morning. Seriously?

There’s also my writing. I keep thinking of Braxton’s novel “My Turn To B III.” That’s what I should be working on right this second. But I was in a rush to talk to you… In some sick sort of way, in this “Sick, Sad World,” I should get my firstborn out of my head.

I’ll tell you why. Maybe the world is catching up with ways to hurt me. Always and forever losing Braxton will be my greatest FEAR and pain. But there’s more.

I had a dream last night that somebody robbed me “69” times. Am I joking? I’ve mentioned all the technical troubles I’ve been having lately. And even if I wasn’t, does it look like I have any money? Do I have anything of value? TIME! When did I wake up?

Sophia, I should be reading about why I don’t want to wake up. Instead, there will be more Yabbos or another book about dead fur buddies. I couldn’t decide after I finished Dirk Knight’s book. And again I look to my work, which should be done on the 25th… Please!

I’m busy counting out jelly beans for the day. I’m measuring Virgil’s food. And when’s the last time I had Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner, Sophia?

I’d rather be “eating” M Anime” anyway. I know, Sophia, Eww. Not her, but the idea that talking about our desires is somehow wrong. Should we talk about my dead dog some more? Yes, I can speak about B III forever. And anytime I talk about my disgust or demise…

So “Let’s Talk About Sex,” baby. For example, it’s sort of an old “joke,” but if you say you’re giving a girl a creampie, you’re wrong. But if you say, we’re trying for a baby, people will celebrate. M Anime and I have discussed a bit. Condoms, IUD, uh, protection?

“Protection
For gangs, clubs, and nations
Causing grief in human relations
It’s a turf war on a global scale
I’d rather hear both sides of the tale”
Black Or White

I won’t read any of that with her. But the words “I Love You.” If I could ever read that myself. Braxton’s Reading Level V

1622 Days Without B III, Day 1063 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 008 ~Forget Those B’s, Virgil~

Workin’ for the man ev’ry night and day. I should follow M Anime’s example. Hell, I should follow my son B’s. How about if I “Finish The Story.” No. I’m more like Virgil. Sit down, shut up, and shake as someone else saves me. Forget Those B’s, Virgil

Wednesday, July 9, 2025

Journey 008 ~Forget Those B’s, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… How? FEAR woke me up this morning instead of Braxton’s furry little butt. That and Cherry’s Yabbos. Not!

“I don’t like it here. I’m tired of being afraid all the time. I’ve decided not to stay.”
Brooks Hatlen

“Terrible thing, to live in fear. Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all too well. All I want is to be back where things make sense. Where I won’t have to be afraid all the time. Only one thing stops me. A promise I made to (Braxton).”
The Shawshank Redemption

I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
The Shawshank Redemption

I should stop wishing to see those great big mountains of hers. Or that I could say “I been to mushroom mountain. Once or twice, but who’s countin’?” “Only God Knows Why.” I can’t afford those blue and yellow “Purple Pills.” A drug habit, dearest Inspector. Virgil needs drugs more than I do. Now that is a lie. But it didn’t stop me from putting his meds in macaroni and cheese. I don’t ever want to feel like I did that day. I mean Tuesday?

Inspector, if you’re keeping score, that’s a Gokusen reference, D12, Kid Rock, and “Under the Bridge” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Anything right, to forget about how I failed Braxton and I’m failing his little brother Virgil. Tick City!

Yeah, who gives an eff about the bees when I’m pulling two or three ticks off of Virgil, Inspector. Not removing, washing, or combing. I went medieval on those buggy effs. But my brave little Virgil took it like a G. If it had been Braxton, I would have lost a few fingers. Hell, a whole hand. But what choice was there? Veterinarian’s trip, Inspector.

Didn’t I say I woke up to FEAR? If it wasn’t Fido… I mean Virgil. It’s my finances. We’re not going to make it, are we? I swear I got another spam email about some app. And I “dreamed” I got something from the bank. Cherry needs some bucks, euros, quid, whatever. And Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime…

She’s “Workin’ for the man ev’ry night and day.” Why? Because she wants to come and see me… Her man? And I wish I could break out into Zapp & Roger’s “I Want to Be Your Man.” How? Yesterday, I was trying to save Virgil from the creepy crawlers, and I didn’t have money to get him a tick bath. I was thinking I’d have to buy every tick removal tool I could find. But didn’t I buy M Anime a (sexy) wardrobe? Because Inspector…

Seriously, “All I wanted was to see her naked!” And I have. And if Cherry showed me her Yabbos. I bet I wouldn’t be so broke. I am, I’m scared. And having M Anime in bed. Forget Those B’s, Virgil

1620 Days Without B III, Day 1061 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 004 ~Between B-V Lies FU~

So, what are my plans today? Hell! I was asking AI the same question, or more to the point. How can I publish Braxton’s book by the 25th? Because, as my uncle would sing, “When my money ran out?” He has Jesus. I had B. And V… Between B-V Lies FU

Saturday, July 5, 2025

Journey 004 ~Between B-V Lies FU~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… It’s funny, I keep saying that. Does it look like I’m having fun? Eff, Lady Lunalesca.

Well, that comes later. And I’ll be with Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime.

I’ll probably be crying out for her the way Winston Smith called for Julia, Lunalesca. Again, my “Wildest Dreams” come later. And yes, I have a Taylor Swift fantasy. “Creep.”

No, I should be listening to “Boys Don’t Cry.” So, what had me crying on this lovely Saturday morning? As usual, Braxton is still dead. I’m worried about Virgil; he’s eating, but what’s eating him? I pulled a tick off his ear yesterday. Remind me to invest in alcohol, my Lady. Both the type to throw ticks in and the kind you drink, since I’d like to forget about Norton Antivirus. No one’s saying, “Forget your troubles, c’mon get happy.”

Now you know I don’t do HAPPY. If you asked me what would make me HAPPY, my most simplistic answer would be NO FEAR. Give me one day when I’m not in tears and afraid, Lady Lunalesca. Can I bring back the dead? Have B barking, “Be Not So Fearful”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

“I’m tired of being afraid all the time. I’ve decided not to stay.”
Brooks Hatlen

So I look for what’s funny and fun, it’s Saturday. “Every Day Is Exactly The Same” to me, my Lady. Sunday, January 31, 2021. I hate the weekdays, and I haven’t thought about anything good about Sunday until M Anime. She said Maroon 5’s “Sunday Morning” reminded her of me. Texting her and trading pictures with her sans our clothing makes me feel a little less effed. Ironically we’ll be effing “All Night Long” someday.

Braxton kept me from effing myself in more ways than one. My furry son, Lunalesca.

This brings us to today. As I was walking with Virgil Vivi today, I thought our journey was less fun. I have to watch out for spider webs and keep the several million bugs off of him. Silly Virgil, EAT!

And despite all this, I made it to the Dining Room table for the second day in a row, Lu.

So I was thinking, what do I do for fun? Music, Movies, and Manuscripts. Oh, and look at the mammaries. M Anime’s, Cherry’s, and even Jane’s from “SeeJaneGoTV.” I swear, I’m “Just A Man,” one of many remarking on her Yabbos. But she liked the comment. Seriously. Mentioning Yabbos, only…

Like Squid Game’s Gi-hun, “I’m F*cked” Between B-V Lies FU.

1616 Days Without B III, Day 1057 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 003 ~Virgil’s Free, B III~

Last week, I said I understand why people aren’t reading much. I sound like one of those MAGA fools. I doubt any of them read that bill that passed. I started my day with my Braxton, a bestseller, and how many boobs/Yabbos. Virgil’s Free, B III.

Friday, July 4, 2025

Journey 003 ~Virgil’s Free, B III~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… No? I’d rather keep it for myself. Good luck with that. “Seven Days in June” Bestseller

And speaking of bestsellers, I bought a can of specialized dog food while my Braxton lay dying. Four years ago, my Lady. The pain is still as fresh as the day my son bought it. Sunday, January 31, 2021. And Nobody Knows it but me. Seriously, I’m not Tony Rich.

Let’s talk about rich, wealthy, C.R.E.A.M. Sadly, I read MAGA passed “The Big Beautiful Bill.” How dare they use that moniker, B III? Their freedom is making slaves of us.

And it’s Independence Day today, Sophia. Eff MAGA! FDT! And as far as that bill is concerned… “Eff that! And Eff everybody that had anything to do with it!” I’m not Suzanne Collins, either. Another bestseller. My work might as well be Norton Antivirus warnings.

Waking up to this Hellscape is one big fat WARNING. And silly me, I mistook it for an invitation. Again, I meant to get through 90% of Seven Days in June this morning. But what got me up this morning was Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Or the idea of her anyway. It was only a notice that something I bought her, a top, had arrived today or yesterday. You know me and Yabbos. Because I’ve been staring at Destiny (Cuban’s) and Kerra Dawson’s all morning. And let’s not forget Jane from “SeeJaneGoTv.”

I’m free to read at this very moment, but I’d rather look at Yabbos. Um, if M Anime or Cherry were around, I’d do both. “I’m a creep. I’m a weirdo.” Googling Jane Vickers, Sophia.

Honestly, just now, I looked up “SeeJaneGoTV” and found my blog. Read the room, right?

It’s better if I don’t read anything. But what’s left? Writing. I’m not because… DEATH!

Sophia, I signed my name and punched Braxton’s ticket like “The Long Walk.” My finger wasn’t on the trigger, or rather the plunger, or whatever, but I ended my firstborn.

However, I won’t let Virgil suffer that same fate, so I watch him eat and even hand-feed him at times. Then again, I signed another set of papers and ended his life, rescuing him. Freedom?

You call this free! What about my own freedom papers? “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” But, Virgil’s Free, B III.

1615 Days Without B III, Day 1056 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 001 ~Heavy “B’s Music, Virgil~

“Takin’ care of business and working overtime, workout.” This food mayn’t be so heavy in my hand, trying to feed Virgil. My heart wouldn’t be heavy mourning his big brother Virgil. My bank account would be fatter. No. “Heavy “B’s Music, Virgil.”

Wednesday, July 2, 2025

Journey 001 ~Heavy “B’s Music, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… In essence, I’m too stupid to leave and too stuck to move. Nope! I haven’t read “Beautiful Creatures.”

Why? Am I too lazy, Inspector Echo? Well, seeing as how I asked AI what to call this new year.

But things are getting heavy. Not “Heavy D & The Boyz” heavy. Was their music heavy at all? My playlist is heavier with Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom M Anime.

“Waiting for Tonight,” M Anime sings to me by way of JLO. She’s waiting for her PTO, Inspector. But what about me? I’m waiting to fatten my boy up. My firstborn son, Braxton, weighed practically nothing when he started “The Long Walk” to his water bowl, the car, and finally along The Rainbow Bridge. And I won’t let Virgil follow his big brother, Inspector. “Heavy In Your Arms,” you ask. Well, I’m hand-feeding Virgil Vivi.

“For no particular reason, I just kept on going.”
Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump (1994)

I want his belly full and his head and heart not so heavy. But even if he gets up to follow me, where am I leading us? The first day of a new Journey. “Put One Foot in Front of the Other,” as Fred Astaire says. I have no choice in the matter, do I? I’ve got half a piece of chicken left along with half a biscuit. How did things get this bad, Inspector? How about I ask myself how I’m going to fix it, especially if M Anime and I are sharing nightmares.

Inspector, I swear that woman has my fingers light as a feather and my “Enormous Pen*s” stiff as a board or an iron rod. Iron Will, but going nowhere. SIGH.

I’m no knight in shining armor. “I ain’t much on Casanova. Me and Romeo ain’t never been friends,” either. But I have an angel coming down to me. And if M Anime becomes the stepmom to my boys, look at the stone around my castle? Ahem! I mean my Olds castle. I don’t own this castle. And I have no gold or jewels to speak of. Heaven help me if she goes Beyonce, put a ring on it. Heaven, “Dear Heaven,” Braxton’s weight is crushing.

I was barely keeping him up but with everything, Norton Antivirus, nothing in my accounts, and my negativity towards my “Lazy Ass,” thanks Brooms. I did my workouts in Pokémon gyms. Carry my cross, listening to Heavy “B’s Music, Virgil.

1613 Days Without B III, Day 1054 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 362 ~Virgil’s B Grades, Marks~

Why am I so down today? I’m joining the club. A tick here or there was chowing down on my blood. It’s a good excuse to lie down for a while. Please, I’ve been down with joining Braxton for 1609 Days. If I had A’s, not F’s. “Virgil’s B Grades, Marks.”

Saturday, June 28, 2025

Meditation 362 ~Virgil’s B Grades, Marks~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And you don’t have to be a genius to get that done. Or even very well-read.

Two things, Lady Lunalesca. One, I didn’t have to spend any money on a book today since I read “Captive of the Beast Men” by Kelli Wolfe. Two, I read that kind of erotic novella.

Cherry would be so proud. Oh, what happened to Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom M Anime? Don’t worry, as Usher sings, I’m so “Caught Up” by her. But speaking of possible love, where are my loves, my boys, B and V? Braxton is still dead.

Do I REALLY need to put it like that? Euthanized, resides on the Rainbow Bridge…

Lunalesca, Virgil is right where he was yesterday. He’s lying at the foot of the bed; so much for me being a good father. F is for father. Nope. FAILURE!

And I do mean me, Lunalesca. M Anime and I have talked about children. But here’s something I haven’t told her, but I’m sure she would agree. My kids aren’t STUPID. I’ll say plenty about my boys, Braxton and Virgil, but they aren’t STUPID. I’ve had enough of that from my father. So much so that it has become true. I’m effing dumb. I’m dee, dee, dee. A walking d*ck thinking of nothing but dark, depraved debauchery. Desires in so many dirty words. Geez, why don’t I tell you how I really feel today? In a word, Lady Lu, ouch.

I feel like I got hit by a truck, and I’m blaming a tick bite and a black mark that’s appeared on my back. FAILING

I’m failing to take care of myself. Every day living is like one big “WARNING” from Stephen King’s “The Long Walk.” Every email, every “egad that hurts,” every ejaculation… Who was it for this time? Should I even count it? Was it Destiny, the maid? What about Violet Myers from OktoberBreasts? There’s always M Anime. She’s the future, I hope. But who could ever forget Cherry’s Yabbos? Having the two of them together. A Boricua and English woman. Even if schooling had been a porno movie, I still would’ve failed.

But now I’m looking up a history with Norton Antivirus? What does a tick bite do? How to make money writing. Didn’t I fail English, Spanish, French, and Braxton? There’s Virgil… Virgil’s B Grades, Marks

1609 Days Without B III, Day 1050 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 361 ~Braxton’s Novel Idea, Virgil~

I’m understanding why people don’t do much reading. I mean, it’d help if you cared about others. Eff MAGA! Eff FDT! Eff Christian Nationalists! But what about what I’m reading? Besides three beautiful women, there’s Braxton’s Novel Idea, Virgil.

Friday, June 27, 2025

Meditation 361 ~Braxton’s Novel Idea, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… You want to ask if I will ever do another review. Read the room. Bank account…

This week has been filled with things I don’t want to read. Norton Antivirus? Effers!

There’s “my” bank account. Nothing in there. Well, I don’t know. I haven’t checked. Not even on payday. I know how much I worked last week. Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, would be ashamed. She’s getting 40 hours weekly to come to me.

Well, cum for me. I know Lady Sophia. Ew! And I mean the sex talk, not the sex act. SIGH.

I and my ‘Nonsense’ words, better known as lies. Because I have read some interesting things this week. But reading in FEAR is worse than reading when I’m so exhausted.

Honestly, M Anime’s words aren’t wasted. I’m editing Braxton’s novel. And “Seven Days In June.”

I’m sorry to say I won’t finish Tia Williams’ book to complete the Kindle Challenge. Hell! Lady Sophia, I’ll have to buy some erotica fluff novella to have a book to read this week. It might be the first time I fail that portion of Six Impossible Things on Sunday. And “Seven Days In June” is pretty good so far. But I’m not even halfway done, and with such gems:

“Life is a terrible habit.”
― Seven Days In June

“It was all so exotic. He’d always appreciated families from a distance, looked at them like they were a fascinating experiment: all that intimacy and domesticity couldn’t have been more foreign.”
Seven Days In June

You know why I’m not dead yet despite “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.” Not ok?

How many times have I looked up “Teen Idle” for those words? A forty-year-old bum. Shouldn’t I be yelling at… No. Writing strong notes to Norton and a delivery service.

What about Heaven? “Dear Heaven,” as Jeymes Samuel sang, Sophia.

But Braxton said… Hell! He writes every Monday that I have to live. And that’s why he sent me his little brother, Virgil, who is lying here at my feet. Literally, my second-born son has black and white fur. I heard Braxton whispering, “Can I make it any more obvious?”

His aunt, his Favorite Girl, still texts me. My second-best friend checks on me. And speaking of girls. What about “My Girl?” Talk about “The Temptations,” she texts me about.

Braxton has his girl; he’s palling around with her fur buddy on the Rainbow Bridge.

Regretfully, I’m not good enough to write the resignation of my life. To renounce my body until everyone knows my son. What am I, his masterpiece? Braxton’s Novel Idea, Virgil.

1608 Days Without B III, Day 1049 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 359 ~B’s Are Helpful, Virgil~

I can’t say I’m another worker bee in the hive. Despite working on a book, taking care of Braxton’s little brother, Virgil, or basically getting out of bed. But there’s a beautiful girl; I want to honor B. If I keep buzzing… “B’s Are Helpful, Virgil”

Wednesday, June 25, 2025

Meditation 359 ~B’s Are Helpful, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But is it helpful to be reminded of that today and every Sunday? The things I should do…

I should call Norton for one. I should be protecting myself. There are other jobs, Inspector. But instead, I’ll pop some painkillers. I could go all Lester Burman and say, “I was whacking off! That’s right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying ‘hi’ to my monster!” to some American Beauty. Choking the chicken to a Puerto Rican goddess. That would be Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. As long as Puerto Rico is still part of the U.S.A. Eff MAGA and FDT! I could also take a nap, Inspector Echo. However, the fact is that none of this would be helpful. I mourn Braxton.

Hell! I was editing Braxton’s book today, but how does that help? Bleeding, broken, broke.

I can read all about how if the bees go extinct, humanity is done. But what can I do, Echo?

I could have made B’s in school rather than D’s and F’s. Would my “life” be any better, Inspector? Could I have saved my Braxton? Or provide a better life for Little Virgil lying here. And what about any two-legged children that came along? Again, I think about M Anime. A woman who wants me, and I can’t even stand myself. My head hurts, Echo.

Braxton always had a way to make things better. At least less scary, Dear Inspector.

Didn’t I say FEAR is helpful? Currently, it’s overwhelming unless it’s going to take me to my boy. Death doesn’t scare me. But creating life.

M Anime called me a Demiurge yesterday. I always pictured myself more of a Necromancer type. But the knowledge that makes me feel good is a rarity. These days, most of what I know scares me. And then with the unknown, bullies, bills, bucks. But then there’s Boobs/yabbos, beauty, and always bed. These B’s are everywhere. Just like my boys

But then again, there’s no B in HELP, FEAR, or EXISTENCE because I failed, Inspector.

Life is “Bloodsport,” Inspector. But I’m not buff. “Where Is My Mind?” My brain. And again, the greatest B of them all. My son, my Braxton. This isn’t helpful, Inspector.

Breathing and buzzing. Yet hoping to sting M Anime her first time. Um, you know, me. B’s Are Helpful, Virgil.

1606 Days Without B III, Day 1047 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will