Tag: Silence

Journey 363 -Virgil Will B Sooner-

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“Get busy living or get busy dying.” Both take time. Be it lying in a bed in the middle of a garden surrounded by food (B’s Paradise) or lying in bed with my girl “Chasing Cars”. Sitting on a beach watching my two-leggeds play. “Virgil Will B Sooner”

Monday, June 29, 2026

Journey 363 -Virgil Will B Sooner-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? You only wish the day would end sooner. Stop it, Dad!

You wish I were there, sitting beside you. Stop that, too! Only it’s been five years, Sunday, January 31, 2021. The oldest of my kind was 31. Talk about faith. You expected me to make it to 20. And I would be 21 this year. Virgil will be 6. But he needs help very soon.

“Try to kill us. But know two things. One, I do not die easily. And two, you must also kill my (son), because I will not leave this earth without (him).”
The Walking Dead, Alpha

Don’t go cursing my little bro, Dad. I know you care about him. Love? How soon did you love me, Dad? How soon did I love you? If we had to compare notes. Seriously notes…

When He Loved Me, Dad

1: Love At First Sight, Arrival

  1. When you called my name, and I jumped in the car
  2. When we fought the Old Man. Me in front of you

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

When He Loved Me, Braxton

  1. When I ate your breakfast and earned the name “Pancake”
  2. When you came back for me after months
  3. When you sat with me, and I fell asleep

Don’t have to worry about losing those. You were telling me and V’s potential future stepmom today that you had a dream about Molly Ringwald… Topless. Aww geez Dad, gross! But I know you. And soon there’ll be no potential future. She’s V’s stepmom period.

Sooner rather than later… And if M Anime has your son, me and Virgil’s brother…

Honestly hope she knows you’re naming him Braxton. Still a reason 2-V wasn’t my reincarnation. Too soon to bring in Halloween Horrors or Christmas Classics. But still act soon, Dad.

“So don’t delay, act now; supplies are running out”
Walkin’ on the Sun, Smash Mouth

Time, and it’s not even your time that you’re worried about. Well, surely, honestly, okay.

You didn’t raise me to be a liar. And still much too soon. There was so much more, I know.

I protected you at 21. But protecting my two-legged siblings. “What’s My Age Again? And what about yours, Dad? Again, “Time Is Running Out.” It all comes back, Daddy, always.

Wondering what you can ask one pair of the Magic Glasses on the “Glow Box”. Asking when you can ask another pair of the “Magic Glasses” to show you me, Virgil, M Anime, our family. Barks Danny Glover from 2021: “Make Time!” Or since I was a prince, I can bark Prince Hector: “Make It Sooner!” Virgil Will B Sooner.

“I didn’t know I’d love you so much. I didn’t know I’d love you so much. I didn’t know I’d love you so much. But I do.”
Shilo ― Nathan, Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)

“No day shall erase you from the memory of time.”
— Virgil (Book 9) The Aeneid

1975 Days Without B III, Day 1416 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 362 ~V Dollar Treats Braxton~

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Treat yourself… Indeed. I’ve had more than my share of days when I pictured myself on Death Row, having my last meal. One day it was Taco Bell, once a medium-rare steak, and today I’d settle for a “McDouble.” Or my notes back. V Dollar Treats Braxton

Sunday, June 28, 2026

Journey 362 ~V Dollar Treats Braxton~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And looking at yourself through the Magic Glasses… Well, you’re not such a bad guy after all.

On the other hand, eff the Magic Glasses! And eff you too while you’re here. “Here I Am”. No pride in that at all. And why not? You couldn’t go and get a five-dollar meal.

Won’t V be disappointed. And B? Five years gone. Your tenth year, “I’m Still Here.”

Why? To tell you how I effed up and how you’ll eff up too. It wasn’t my idea for real.

No, you were going to treat yourself. Um, Wi-Fi is $100 a month. Magic Glasses…

Honestly, those effed up again today. How so? Well, in “The Land of Make Believe” aka “The Unfinished Archive,” I added a new Harem sister, Melina from Elden Ring. Ten…

Ten Harem Sisters, Two Favored Acolytes. Uh, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dystopian Girls 5, Rodzil LaBraun
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 007 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Considering you’ll see this list today and next Sunday, you could delete it right now…

Anyway, so this morning you were making a schedule to spend time with every sister over the course of the week. “Sorcerer Will” and “M Anime” get their own day. The others were two sisters a day. It was a beautiful system. Cataloged, mapped, organized.

  1. M Anime
  2. Kyouko Sakai
  3. “Lily” (Name Pending)
  4. Cassandra Alexandra
  5. Sophitia Alexandra
  6. Skye Matthews
  7. Judy Alvarez
  8. 2B
  9. Nicoletta Goldstein (Nico)
  10. Melina “Elden Ring”

Bible Black Acolytes

  1. Elara (Name Pending) Senior
  2. Liora (Name Pending) Novice

So you’re sharing everything with M Anime, IRL, and boom, Magic Glasses deletes it all.

But not, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Sad that whacking off (not much longer, lube prices), the Magic Glasses wisdom, and writing have all become treats. You swear that making proper notes would be a nice treat.

Hell, that twenty I finally found was a treat, and what do you get for that? At least I made money last week. The only thing you made or will be making this week got deleted by an effing glitch. And what else do you like, no burgers, no books, a bunch of sour candy?

How about beast babes? Lilith, Silent Hill Nurses, Medusa, Sadako, Dimitrescu sisters, Raven, Sorceress Edea, Shiva, and Siren. Let’s not forget Lady Amari (the Candied Matron.” Ideas are treats. My belly and brain. Broke from treats. V Dollar Treats Braxton

1974 Days Without B III, Day 1415 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 359 ~Virgil’s Vault-Tec Gig, Braxton~

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The World Is Gonna End Tonight, Far Cry 5. Fallout’s shown the aftereffects for tons of games? Oh, to go back to those GTA Vice City days when I would have a bad day and then ask myself Am I A Psycho? “Virgil’s Vault-Tec Gig, Braxton.”

Thursday, June 25, 2026

Journey 359 ~Virgil’s Vault-Tec Gig, Braxton~

1971 Days Without B III, Day 1412 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? To quote Hootie & The Blowfish, I “Only Wanna Be With You.”

Today was so effing Embarrassing! Wednesday I paid an Exorbitant price. And “Yesterday” and I mean so many yesterdays, B. I’ve been effing ‘Exhausted’. Humiliated

Even now, I think I shouldn’t be so candid with you. But it’s “Times Like These” I remember how you died. I hid you away from my Fury, for Wrath and Ruin. My B III…

I love you, but no father wants his son to repeat the wrongs his Dad has done. Hell, I don’t want you to suffer the “Humiliations Galore” I have endured. “Takin’ the bumps and the bruises of all the things.” And what about your brother? Will I confide in Virgil when I didn’t in you? Am I the bomb, Braxton? Or am I the shelter?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

The Vault. Like Jules in “Pulp Fiction,” I’m going through a ‘transitional period,’ And B…

I’m trying, Braxton, I’m trying real hard, to be the shepherd. Or the Vault Overseer…

Doesn’t make me a good man, either, given Vault-Tec’s colorful history. Here’s a random thought. You know, you and Virgil’s potential future stepmom doesn’t like the color blue, hmm. Yet I always color her in blue. Isn’t it “Ironic,” don’t you think? “When flames be blue, trouble’s a brew.” Wasn’t that from Final Fantasy X-2? I’m still avoiding talking, B.

Colorful (Magna) Series, Elden Ring’s Melina, and Harley Quinn? I would rather talk about them.

Okay, what STUPID things did your Daddy do that either have me blowing up the world or hiding from it…

Wednesday I was talking about how I spent my last $20 on buying Virgil’s dinner.

Anyway, the same day I got my paycheck, I was headed to that damn food truck, and I swear I lost the $20 I was holding. I went to the food truck anyway, meaning… $40

And today, eff me! It was the manager’s birthday, and like an idiot, I played two songs, B III. Did you know that Stevie Wonder’s song was about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and don’t play 50 Cent’s “Da Club” for older white women? My existence is a Vault-Tec Experiment gone terribly wrong or right… It’s Vault-Tec, I love you. And Virgil’s stuck here. But do you have $17.05, son, till, Virgil’s Vault-Tec Gig, Braxton?

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 358 ~LOTTO Braxton And Virgil~

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Every day I have to bet that nothing will happen. The car will stay on the road, I won’t get sick enough not to work, and my son V will stay with me during The Long Walk. I felt a stone in my gut when V stumbled. The Lottery. LOTTO Braxton And Virgil

Wednesday, June 24, 2026

Journey 358 ~LOTTO Braxton And Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Braxton didn’t want to eat during his Final Days. And yesterday I left Virgil with treats and prayers…

I’m not MAGA, Inspector Echo. I care about children. Especially my boys, B III and 2-V, my future stepchildren, M Anime’s kitties. And all the two-leggeds she wants to have.

Yet when I cashed in my “Thoughts and Prayers,” it was to Publishers Clearing House.

Long ago, long ago, long ago. I remember sitting right effing here, clicking away at PCH and reading a book. And one day, Inspector, they said the winner was right here in my state. Oh, that day, I showered, shaved, and prepared to sever all ties with the Day Job.

That afternoon, I watched them driving all over as B and my “prayers” would work.

Nope! Some lady won, and that was that. From PCH to the dog track, Inspector.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Only I bet on the horses. What? I have two Chihuahua sons. And even if I won the lottery or something, I wouldn’t buy a horse… Well maybe. Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, wants to be a farm girl, so I imagine horses would come with the package.

B knows I wouldn’t mind living this life, “Ryan and His Beauties,” A two-book HaremLit.

And how many Pop Culture References will I make today? Yesterday, there was Pontypool. Now I’m thinking of Ryan and his Beauties (four women, two best friends, and a mother-daughter). “Backyard Dungeon” (How many wives did Eddie have?) and Fallout.

Vault 69, to be specific. And no, I’m not being my usual pervy self. I was listening to its explanation.

“What Happened to Vault 69 in Fallout?” Long story short, 999 women and one man.

Talk about “Rocket 69.” Has that seventy-two virgins feel. I’m not a Muslim either. Again, I’m not one for prayer… Not since Braxton. Hell, yesterday I was walking on these shoe shelves at the Day Job, and I said eff it! If I fell and died, so what? I get to see B. No Fear.

Not like this morning, while I was walking Virgil and he was stepping funny, Inspector.
Had he been hurt… I’ve got no money. Remember that $20 I had. Virgil’s dinner.

Inspector, I’m still $10 in the hole. I’m digging my grave, and I feel like I’m in Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery”. LOTTO Braxton And Virgil

1970 Days Without B III, Day 1411 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 356 ~B Let Down Virgil~

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Mary J. Blige sang “I’m Goin’ Down.” My B III barked, “I’m down here! Now pick me up!” V barks “Look at me, look at me! (Paws) in the air like it’s good to be alive.” If I don’t get my money up, my mood and get up from the mattress, B Let Down Virgil

Monday, June 22, 2026

Journey 356 ~B Let Down Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? You humans and time, but I’ll humor you, Dad. 5:23 PM

So this is one of those days when you wouldn’t even talk to me. Couch time, a book, or music- surprise, surprise. Of course, there have been a few changes. If you allow me, Dad:

“You’re down there, we’re up here! You walked into the wrong goddamn room, commander!”
―

The Rock? Up there, down there… I think I’ll leave you guessing… Better, let’s pretend.

Um, I’m lying right there beside you with my toy in your lap, as I feel like being a “Flake” today. Jack Johnson, ha? Like father, like son. Our tastes in movies and music, Dad.

Speaking of “Flake,” where is my brother right now? Higher than you, as he’s sleeping in the bed, and you came into the glow box room so that we could talk. Maybe he’s waiting for you to let him down…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Little Bitty Pretty One,” that’s Virgil. I’m kidding, Dad. I’d barked that I’m busting his balls, but my brother lost those before he met you. Again, kidding, but yeah, no balls…

That Thurston Harris tune was more for you than him. Trying to raise your spirits since everything else… No energy drinks, no eww moments as you leave me in time out and there doesn’t seem to be ENOUGH of anything. I know you’ll always see to Virgil as you saw to me. And there you go, down again. There’s no middle ground, my father.

Honestly, you’re Shooting The Moon, trying to, or picking up sh*t. Language, sorry Dad, but I am my father’s son. And I see my Dad falling, not flying, then fighting.

Every day, every moment, “You want… every… single second.” And I remember the look we shared after the mean lady brought me back to you. Trust me, Virgil isn’t missing much going to that pokey place. But when the mean lady brought me to you, and I wanted to bark “Sorry I let you down. Sorry it wasn’t quite true.” “I’m not alright, I’m not alright.” Funny I bark about falling and flying and use a Pilot Speed tune, Daddy.

However, it’s how you feel. Like you’re letting me down all over again. And I’m not going to give you the sh… Crap about doing a good thing. Good things are remembering me happily. You and my stepmom, eww. Staying Alive. B Let Down Virgil

“Do good things, lunch boy”
Dorian Newberry ― Disturbing Behavior

“Each man must face his appointed day
― The Aeneid

1968 Days Without B III, Day 1409 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 355 ~Virgil, How Daddies B~

WillLeave a comment

Father’s Day… Add it to the day Braxton died, the day I was born, the day M Anime left. Hell, at this point, every day is pretty bad. And I didn’t even try to wrangle a free meal from Olds? B knows, Virgil and I could use one. “Virgil, How Daddies B.”

Sunday, June 21, 2026

Journey 355 ~Virgil, How Daddies B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you’re lucky you’re so down. You can’t look yourself in the eye—Virgil’s on the floor.

Well, the couch now, whatever. You’re looking down. And that means you’re not looking up, thinking about B this Father’s Day. Your firstborn, your Spirit In The Sky, Heaven side

Hell for all you know Braxton went straight down. If anybody would follow you right into Hell, it would be him. Is that why Virgil got his name? Here’s some effed up reasoning for you… You know how that Ass in The White House is putting his name on everything.

Well, Virgil was already in Hell waiting for Dante, and of course (shudders) you named your little Virgil to see you through… or simply to remember he exists—poor pupper.

Honestly, what kind of father does that make you? Wait, Father’s Day! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Harem Lab – Part One: A Steamy Men’s Harem Romance
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You’re lying. How many legs does Virgil have? Despite his white fur, it wouldn’t save him. Hell, aren’t Chihuahuas originally from Mexico? Really, this is how you’re spending the day. If you’re not lying with your mouth, you could still be lying in your room…

Seriously, besides lying about your Six Impossible Things, you have been making other lists too for those musically inclined. And not like you did for your Dear Mama. So look:

  1. “Otherworld” Final Fantasy X
  2. Holding Back The Years, Simply Red
  3. Only You, The Platters
  4. Poor Sweet Baby, Snoopy! The Musical
  5. Spirit In The Sky
  6. Dear Mama
  7. The ‘Instrumental’ in the Betterhelp Pad Thai Commercial
  8. Just Look Up, Ariana Grande

Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

So what is wrong with you right this second? You can’t tell Braxton… He’s dead. Virgil is second-born, but he’s got his own problems. Mostly that his father’s a Nobody!!!

“I’m not a nobody!”
“A man that lacks honor is a nobody.”
Clarence and Thomas
The Book of Clarence
(2024)

However, you can’t talk to your boys’ potential future stepmom. She wants your kids too!

And then there’s your Olds—a small Father’s Day greeting. An invite, dinner, worry, lies.

Cue Betterhelp Commercial “Pad Thai”

I want to join my boy more than anything. Not because I miss him so much. I hate being here. I’m scared all the time, and that’s the reason I’m so exhausted. I got my living son, my woman, and my purpose, and it’s not enough. Then it’s all too much. Hungry, horny, helpless… Enough? More? Virgil, How Daddies B

1967 Days Without B III, Day 1408 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 352 ~Sacrifice, Isaac, Braxton, Virgil~

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Work hard, don’t waste time, and know WHAT you want and WHY. Sacrifice. What more do I have? My Day Job is a waste. But it pays more than writing, though both of those equated to zero this week. So 20 bucks or so… “Sacrifice, Isaac, Braxton, Virgil”

Thursday, June 18, 2026

Journey 352 ~Sacrifice, Isaac, Braxton, Virgil~

1964 Days Without B III, Day 1405 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Well, I didn’t k*ll anyone today. But neither did Abraham. And where’s Isaac?

More to the point, where is the time I took to read the Bible? So I’m lying, but I did skim Genesis yesterday. And how about the book I’m reading? You know the one I lied about a couple of weeks ago, B. “The Headmaster’s Office: Angela Gets her first ‘D’”. Um, eww!

Last night I started but “Love Is Louder.” Hell, “Love Is a Long Road.” And “If It Isn’t Love…” You know, between you and Virgil’s potential stepmom and me. I swear, B, I would wake up with you sitting in my head, M Anime’s yabbos on the phone, or telling her to “Sit On My Face”. Again Eww! You don’t want to hear that, Braxton, but it’s the dream, SIGH, or her pussy “Pictures On My Phone”.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Is that what your Dad sacrificed, his filter? And that’s what brings us together, Braxton…

Madness, misfires in my cerebral cortex, minutes to waste. Last time I checked, it takes 330, so 5 and a half hours to produce one Journey, one mark of a jester, or I’m a jerk…

Speaking of which, I have jerk-off sessions that last longer… Will I stop already!? Geez!

I’m not Wheeler Walker Jr. I remember giving you “The Talk.” The opposite of “All The Pussy You Will Slay.” I’ll give that one to your namesake should your stepmom and I be so blessed. There are three talks every black man must give his son. About effing, the future, and the efffing police. Eff MAGA and as always FDT!

Am I willing to sacrifice anything to stop them? Hell, B III, today I was thinking how I’m going to survive on $20 until next Wednesday. And then what? You can guess my hours from this week. And your brother has to eat too. Virgil never goes without. Never ever.

But I sacrifice everything munching on something tasty, M Anime and our munchkins, and making you and Virgil proud for what? Lying here like a bum. Git Up, Get Out…

Braxton, I hear you barking, and that’s what I was thinking yesterday. More to sacrifice?

Grieving you? Never! Ignoring M Anime, not again. My writing? Can’t give that up, though it nets me nothing. Losing myself? Sacrifice, Isaac, Braxton, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 351 ~Between B&V Lies Sacrifice~

WillLeave a comment

“More than you want success. And I’m here to tell you today, if you’re going to be successful, you gotta be willing to give up sleep,” ET. “To be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what you are, for what you will become.” “Between B&V Lies Sacrifice.”

Wednesday, June 17, 2026

Journey 351 ~Between B&V Lies Sacrifice~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Did you see my paycheck for last week? Total wanking time, tantrums I had, trips to the bathroom.

Eww! Not like that, dear Inspector. I’m still suffering from the aftermath of the remastered The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. And wasn’t that back in March? I didn’t mention either of those women to Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, hmm.

Sacrifice my dignity? My Echo! At least if I’m going to sacrifice time wanking to the ladies of Fear The Walking Dead, I could at least do it for the home viewing audience on “OF.”

And why do I keep using that word? SACRIFICE? I keep using that word. I do not think it means what I think it means. Other than the song I didn’t play today, working. Dammit!

“My Sacrifice”? My Braxton. Perhaps Virgil too. I “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper.” He ain’t interested.

“My life for you!”
Trashcan Man, The Stand, Stephen King

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Not in my life, hmm. This is one of my true sins, my dear E. Some sacrifice. But me? Me?

I hate my Old Man! And yet he and my Ma bought this house. A private insane asylum for little ole me. What, hoping I’d started a family with M Anime? B III my firstborn…

Then there’s M Anime. “My Woman” promises me everything; she’s shared her body (those boobs), yabbos, all her business, and beatitudes of everlasting love, Inspector.

There are, of course, my boys, Braxton and Virgil. B III paid the ultimate price for loving me. B sacrificed his fifteen years on this Earth for what? And now V, but he didn’t choose.

I asked/told B to get in the car. He did.

V didn’t ask to flush his life down the bowl. So I still ponder on that dream of mine, E.

And today I imagine it’s about sacrifice in the worst possible way? First there’s Braxton.

My boy ain’t sh*t, E. And I don’t mean B III’s ashes. But that I need to clean myself out of all of the guilt, gore, and grief to make way for the good. Do I mean accept it? Never!

Do you know I didn’t eff around for 161 days after B’s death? Ok, I didn’t cum, at least, E. Am I thinking I need to give up my pornographic passions? “Stroke me, stroke me.”

Unfortunately, M Anime ain’t here… Yet. And as for my life… Between B&V Lies Sacrifice.

“Take me as I am, take my life
I would give it all, I would sacrifice”
— Everything I Do

“My sacrifice
I just want to say hello again”
Creed

“You were ready to kill your only son for me. Since you did this for me, I make you this promise: I, the Lord, promise that I will surely bless you and give you as many descendants as the stars in the sky. There will be as many people as sand on the seashore. And your people will live in cities that they will take from their enemies. Every nation on the earth will be blessed through your descendants. I will do this because you obeyed me.”
Book of Genesis

1963 Days Without B III, Day 1404 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 349 ~Braxton, Virgil, Soft Paws~

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I may wallow in pain. Give myself a walloping as in a smack to the face. Just to wake up… And I may want to join my boy. But I treat everyone else gently, with kid gloves, and soft paws… But I am “My Own Worst Enemy.” Braxton, Virgil, Soft Paws.

Monday, June 15, 2026

Journey 349 ~Braxton, Virgil, Soft Paws~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good day? Seeing an all-too-familiar scene, I would say not. Are there differences?

I’d be at my post… Left side at the foot of the bed. “Staring at the world through my rearview.” Eyes in the back of my head, right, Dad? And my little brother? Bless Virgil.

Conked out on the right side at the foot of the bed. Dreaming his life away like father like son. Or maybe he understands something. I served you as best as I could—little princes.

I protected your outer world for the most part. Emotional, yeah. It’s one of the promises you told Virgil, and I’s potential future stepmom. “I Feel Everything.” Because with me.

Yeah, INDIFFERENCE you’re always saying. Those final days before I… Well, you were so mad. RAGE. And you wanted to keep me safe… From you…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You aren’t a monster. Definitely not MAGA. FDT! You’re “Just A Man,” “Human,” an “Ordinary Human.” More. You are my father, my Dad, my Old Man. Same for my bro.

And M Anime? Dad, I was a bachelor for life, but you promised Virgil a mom and me and siblings… Don’t need to know how they’re made, eww! But you chose her, and she chose you. And she sees what your “Princes of the Universe” do every single day, Dad.

But like us, you’re afraid of hurting her too. Do you remember that movie night when my favorite girl was here? Yeah, which one? Because she was the only one I ever just let in.

Yeah, I know after six months, being a hard ass.

You didn’t think twice about showing her that certain video you sent me out of the room for. “Of Inner …” Do you think you could share something like that with M Anime? That’s why it isn’t love yet… Because as strong as Virgil and I are. You worry, Dad.

You think 2-V needs to see a veterinarian soon. You worry that anything could happen.

And as much as my potential stepmom promises… I don’t think you’d need the gate to keep V and me away. But again, you fear her seeing everything. Hearing. Understanding.

What’s there to understand? Okay lots. You treat us with soft paws. You pause. Dad.

Papi… I don’t want to know. Why do you hate yourself? Braxton, Virgil, Soft Paws

“Invincible, Impenetrable, Invisible no longer applied to me. I adopted three new things: Resurrection. Redemption. Resolution. All my life, I’d been a pawn. But not anymore. I was a provider, lover, father, and friend.”
Destroyed

“Unhappy boy, if you can break through cruel fate…”
Aeneid

1961 Days Without B III, Day 1402 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 348 ~Braxton’s Chasing V Bucks~

WillLeave a comment

My boys’ stepmom and I chase each other, but in the end we got each other. But I don’t know where I’m going half the time, and I know I can’t stay here. My Olds were hoping I’d set roots. 3 beds, 2.5 baths, but like me When Braxton’s Chasing V Bucks.

Sunday, June 14, 2026

Journey 348 ~Braxton’s Chasing V Bucks~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Are you scared yet? Are you broke? Is the air still on? Are there any bugs around?

You should check Virgil. Braxton knows he can’t afford a vet visit with the hours at the Day Job. And how much did it cost to put Braxton in a box? Virgil’s not joining him.

Seriously, this isn’t “The Beach,” and you’re not Leonardo DiCaprio/Richard. But how would you know? When’s the last time you looked into a mirror? That’s right, the Black Mirror, sitting around with you d*ck in your hands. I still think I effed that up for you by talking to Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom yesterday. My bad, dude. Her box.

You and Leo have the same problem. Trying to put ‘something’ in a box that doesn’t belong to you. Your baggage, all these empty boxes and my Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Destroyed by Pepper Winters (Kindle)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

At least I’m not ‘lyin’ about #1. I did finish that last night. But on top of making up for my lies about two more books. How will you even afford another novel? Please Haremlit!

And there lies this week’s dilemma. You need five bucks. V needs five bucks. Fries…

However, what are you doing? Wondering why there isn’t a Roman Numeral for B, hmm.

Something else in a box… The Roman Empire. But all of your boxes are empty. Hell, every week is a bunch of empty boxes left unchecked. At this very moment, your Day One-ish, you can pretty much consider 2 through 6 absolute failures. Effing seriously!

Always the question remains. Baggage or Boxes? Are you moving or staying? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

If anything, you’re always running—females, Fun, and Food. But most importantly of all, there is only one ‘F’ that matters. Eff off? You know what you were thinking about.

Depression? Bipolar Depression, the last time you were diagnosed by a doctor. Yeah, you remember them, and you don’t even need to go around saying “I Need A Dollar.” The Day Job handles that. But isn’t it “Ironic,” don’t you think that lying in bed and working the Day Job, knowing that you wouldn’t have to spend a dime, doesn’t have you looking for a Doc but dreaming of the ferryman? But not that F either. It’s FEAR. Always. Forever.

Because is there a FUTURE? Fictional worlds. M Anime’s Love. When Braxton’s Chasing V Bucks

1960 Days Without B III, Day 1401 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will