Log 344 ~Write Side Of Will~

I was telling a doctor once that he should work on his bedside manner, told my kid’s vet the same thing, but life has come out of many a bed as well right. Still, I’m usually too busy talking or working. “Write Side Of Will.”

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Log 344 ~Write Side Of Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means a big bed. Of course, I think of this for several reasons, but when it comes to our children and us? When it comes to my firstborn, you know he’s pretty much like Cyrus from The Warriors. “Because it’s all our turf!” Little Toughie.

So let me start by asking what side of the bed do you sleep on? Did I have to ask you the first time you and me… Anyway, it’s like back when I had my HORRID Day Job. If I slept on my back, it meant I had work in the morning. On my belly, I could relax. Lying here, if I jumped to the right, it was going to be a bad day; to my left, there was time. With that being said, I sleep on the left side, I suppose. All I know is that I want to be touching you. Does that make me sound romantic or obsessed? You would insist I was both, and that’s why I love you. I’m not like Asa Jackson from Too Late by Colleen Hoover. He loves when Sloan sleeps on her belly naked. I’m not an over the top control freak. Okay, usually, I do have ideas, non-decorative bedroom concepts.

I don’t fancy myself as disagreeable. The one that always has to be right. Of course, as you know, I don’t like being STUPID. I left that far behind me at the last “Day Job,” I’ll ever have. Would I rather be right or happy, and again can’t we have both? Hell, in my line of work, give me joy, jubilation, and as the song goes, he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus. I do, however, wish to talk like a gentleman, except for maybe in the bedroom. You must be asking, have I been getting enough sleep these days.

Well, I am sleeping with you babe so… Yeah, there is no getting around the problems in our country. To state in plain, a black man, a white woman, but we make it work, don’t we. To play another song, “we all the same color when you turn out the lights.” Besides my manuscript and music, my mouth runs a bit too much when we should be resting. How about doing other things as well. I love you so, on the Write Side Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 337 ~When Will Talks Sheet~

Maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t left my bed other than to take my son for a walk, and because my “father” came by *shudders*. If I could finish just one book, I could make money in my sleep or do other things in bed ha. When Will Talks Sheet.

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Log 337 ~When Will Talks Sheet~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t brag about it. Indeed before I met you, what my son would hear is “Just me Baby Boy.” Follow that up with a sigh of relief, and that’s the end of the day’s events. Oh yeah, what about my writing? Am I a hard man to know, yep. I swear I’ve given old bosses a death stare. If I had my way, the phrase “How Are You Doing” would be outlawed. Daily I’m still struggling with Rule #2, “You Are Not A Caveman.” Considering my work, can you blame me for being speechless?

As the song goes, “Saving All My Love For You,” and that’s not the best example of marriage. Also, you’re probably sick of me, speaking through songs. Another reason I love you because you wouldn’t say that. And I Will Always Love You for that. Well, I guess that’s enough Whitney Houston, but should we talk about my lame writing? Yeah, I know by this point, a few bestsellers, some movies, a flair for titles, what about my new script? I want to apologize for having you act like my beta reader most days. Must be tiring. Even though our bed is still my favorite spot in the house… for many reasons. In younger days, I heard a woman say something about bedrooms. The better your bed, the more a woman wants to stay there. Again the focus of my life and I still wish to stay here with you.

Now you ask me why with everything going on? Is the world still such a scary place? Baby Doll, I still have nightmares of my life before. When I close my eyes sigh I could wake up and where would you be? To me, you’re like some superhero with or without her cape. I’m like a sick man dying, and you both give me Fever, with your Bad Medicine, Baby Girl. Only and I’m not one to kiss and tell, but I would say, “She’s Got Skillz. Yeah, this is why I don’t write jokes for a living. My Love, in Between The Sheets… yes, I’m cutting off Spotify… I don’t want to believe there is anything between us. You’re cooler than the other side of the pillow, “what’s my age again,” the last one?

Paper, Bed, Only You are times When Will Talks Sheet.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 330 ~Silence Of The Will~

I would like for a woman to tell me she loves me, well besides my mother, or my grandmother’s dog way back in “MY” day. The question is, would I ever get such words out myself, especially with everything going on. “Silence Of The Will”

Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Log 330 ~Silence Of The Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, do me a favor and ask me how. On one side of the coin, I’m like Yuri Orlov. I never want to keep what I do away from you. If you look at the other I’m Andy Dufresne, I’m a hard man to know. I’ve never seen The Silence of the Lambs, I hear it’s classic.

Have I scared you yet? We’ve discussed things like this from time to time, haven’t we? Pillow talk, like how I can’t stand most crime dramas like that. Give me zombies, sci-fi, sex, as the song goes “Gimme fuel, Gimme fire, Gimme that which I desire. I want to talk to you. At the same time, I want to be quiet, not mad, not upset, not lost. Only to have the silence like some anime character, or like one of those Japanese series. I want to lie in your lap like something out of Gokusen, perhaps. I haven’t thought of that show in ages. It’s a bit funny that as everyone is coming outside, I only want to retreat back into our house. I want to watch films and stream everything under the sun. One more reason we own a private beach. I’m not sorry for any of this, and that’s why I love you.

I tell My Dæmon, every day that I’m sorry… shows what kind of father I am. The thing is he doesn’t understand the words, doesn’t care, but he stays beside me all the time. Without one word, he knows if I’m happy, sad, or angry. Yeah, I keep digging that hole comparing you to our furry son. It could be the fact that again I’m repeating myself from before. The noise of the world coming back alive is getting to me. It’s why my libraries, ladies, and love must be louder. To put it in another way, I love you to DEAF, wouldn’t you say?

No, I’m one for the lame jokes. What’s real is that I Love You. Now I could say that forever with or without the mask. I’ll admit with the Coronavirus (COVID-19) running rampant, it’s easier. Such is my vanity or the need for pain, though I want to be Peeta instead of Gale. Would that make you my Katniss, baby doll? I’ll smile small, eat big, For The Love Of You. Silence Of The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 329 ~Words Destroy More Than Bombs~

I’m always so concerned with zombies that I barely notice the Coronavirus (COVID-19). I should do better, but it’s the words of everyone around me minus the lady talking about my dog that destroy me. Words Destroy More Than Bombs.

Monday, May 25, 2020

Log 329 ~Words Destroy More Than Bombs~

Hundred And Thirty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s because of this rule. Funny, I don’t quote it more often, but that’s because I’m still focused on Rule One. I Will Have No Fear. For the record, I should add FEAR to my most hated words. Also, while I’m on the subject of lists, this would be in my top five reasons to be a writer. Rule Thirteen states, Power Is All That Matters. I still believe this, and Rules 19 and 84 say respectively, “LOVE Is A Great Power,” and “There’s Power In The Dollar.” In words, though, Madam Justice lies the greatest.

Last week and the start of this one SIGH, I notice how I silenced Cherry. Not only in my novel’s pages but indeed everyday life. I didn’t even need to use a ball gag, dammit. It seems my blessing and my curse. Hell, who knows I could be wrong all around as per my usual. I eat up the time talking to you and the other girls. When have I worked on either of my stories again? The only thing I write more is a litany of excuses, and yes, I’m back to blaming the Day Job. My recent humiliations stem from three words, “Home and Kids.” Now, if I wanted to kill myself, I would go right back to bed. I would let the disease, which is my words fester and finish. It’s like out of Pontypool. Did I ever tell you I’m a fan of chemical and biological warfare? Must be Greed, but anyway, words are a disease.

So is there a vaccine, what’s the cure? You inoculate with others Madam Justice. How many times have I brought up Succubus Lord by Eric Vall? I read his and other Harem Romances. Oh, to enjoy the title Sex Zombies. To read “Lolita” to even say the word, I listen to “Taboo” Fetishes with Alice. Again I think of my works. If my characters have a voice and can speak the things I can’t. The ability to create a world, a history of my design. I can build A Whole New World to hide in or better, I could become Godlike; my such grand designs. If only I said NO to Home and Kids, NO to my STUPIDITY, just NO.

Peace and Quiet. Forgive me Madam Justice but Fucking SILENCE, Words Destroy More Than Bombs.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 254 ~Now That’s Will Silence~

It’s quiet, too quiet or I’m going deaf in one way or another, I swear the things we learn to live with and why should we, I don’t like raising my voice I know that when there’s such great music and books. Now That’s Will Silence.

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Log 254 ~Now That’s Will Silence~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but shouldn’t silence come free. Yes, Inspector Echo, the humming continues, and I’m back to the drawing board as to the cause. Well, unless I would like to scream as I fall off the roof. Knowing me, though, I would never only we’ll get to that. At least on Sunday, I heard something quite beautiful. Eugene and his “ladylove” Stephanie singing. I have a few in my life though, one’s married, another is asexual, and shall we talk about the one I’ve wanted to see naked.

Keep it PG, well I am trying Inspector Echo. If we have to talk about something in my pants, what about the money I saved today? I know I was craving McDonald’s as always, but I only bought what I needed from the store today (Monday). While this might sound mundane and give way to gross thoughts, I bought stuff to unclog the toilet. I still need to buy a new toilet seat for downstairs, but nobody is complaining. Of course, then we have my Old Man. I finally told him the other car isn’t working, won’t even start now. Not that I was using it, but yeah, I’m losing it, and nevertheless, that’s a blow. You know I’m a hoarder of everything, but when did I become a car guy? Still, I must be silent, I wasn’t paying for the car, so it’s his.

I can’t give him any more of my problems like Norton and H&R Block. You tell me not to worry, and perhaps it’s been a week of nothing. No warnings, no alerts, no fear, but if I’m not obsessing over that, what else is there? Cherry, I haven’t spoken to her in a couple of days. I didn’t tell her to shut up. But don’t I know how to drive a girl away. At least it broke me out of my pantyhose/stockings/thigh high fetish for now. I’ll confess, Fechikano isn’t going away anytime soon. Still, I go back and forth when it comes to what a girl says. I’ve talked about audiobooks and how I enjoyed listening to the character of Rainey Summer Day. One word, “Daddy.” I finished “Lust” today, but Chasity Griffin shudders. Finally, there’s my new fetish, let’s say, the girls don’t talk much, not at all.

Sorry about that Inspector Echo so, Now That’ Will Silence.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 243 ~You Willie A Critic~

Doesn’t The Bible say something about judging others, and I’ve seen parts that would give certain paysites a run for their money with the raunchiness to be sure, and here I am saying I would never be a man of God. “You Willie A Critic”

Saturday, February 29, 2020

Log 243 ~You Willie A Critic~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s not for being funny. It’s not for being smart, a Republican, or even myself. Now, if it was for being STUPID, that’s the only reason I would give the money back. Lady Lu, I can’t stand STUPIDITY for its own sake ever. To this day, I wouldn’t mind being as controversial as the Marquis de Sade. It’s been a long day since I have felt this fire burning inside me to write. For two days straight, I have forgone naps because of this story.

“A Sin Full Of Cherry,” and no, I’m not thinking about changing the name. Facebook made that abundantly clear, and why am I so mad? As Metallica screamed, “Gimme fuel Gimme fire, Gimme that which I desire,” and I need it Lady Lu. These past few days have been all about rage at everything. It feels like everything is falling away. You also know how I like my list. The Den is still HUMMING. The toilet seat is still useless in the half bath. One of my cars still isn’t working, and the radio in my second car has gone silent. How about that, the one place I want some silence is loud and where I need noise I get quiet. Well, it has given me more than enough time to listen to Audible. Only today (Wednesday), I finished listening to The Gargoyle. Now I’ve moved onto Beauty and The Professor. Oh, I also made a playlist for my novella, not much yet to share.

Let me tell you this. I’m not reading today; I want to work on my book. Am I that weak Lady Lu for you know who? How can a writer be as such, we create worlds and people; you think I was going to mention God? Well, I did make my character a Minister. Once upon a time, there was this church lady who told me I would become a minister. I’m sure this isn’t what she had in mind. How many times have I said it, build paradise, be surrounded by pretty “angels.” While also like My Dæmon, finding a multitude of comfy spots and never getting up until hunger demands. However, with his face, he’s never going hungry, and as for me, Lady Lu? Well, my life isn’t the most prolific thing of all, but how many stars?

No, You Willie A Critic?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 222 ~Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More~

SHE said I have anger problems, and yes, that makes me mad because it means I’m like my father, or as Master Yoda puts is Fear leads to anger, and then to hate, but perhaps I have other qualities? “Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More.”

Saturday, February 8, 2020

Log 222 ~Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so how can I be mad. Now I won’t lie to you; if I were part of the 1%, I would be angry losing my paper. I’m not even close yet, but I hate spending money. Yes, I know Lady Lu, this coming from the man that spends money on GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS. Isn’t that exactly why it’s taking so long to talk to you tonight? Last night I was plenty angry with Trump, and so I am tonight. A wealthy white guy is proving once more that his kind can get away with anything. Only this is supposed to be about me, am I right?

A Wednesday night because I don’t feel like getting up Thursday morning? Lady Lu, that’s something that makes me angry, my laziness. I spent another afternoon not doing anything for myself. No, I slept only to wake up to the 1% doing away with the law. I would say than anger takes a lot out of me, but yeah, I did the same thing yesterday. Today though, I almost lost it with “Coal.” I let pretty girls get away with a lot but the ugly ones? Okay, so you’re telling me that’s not nice, but I do mean her personality; for the most part. I finished Dennis Hof’s book on Audible again today. It only got me madder at myself that I can’t be him. Well, I could, but that would require me to get off my behind. I tell Cherry that sometimes if I could only get to work and I shouldn’t even be talking about her. Black Pantyhose/Stockings and “Fechikano!” and that’s that.

So we have early mornings, STUPID people at work, and my lackluster attitude if it’s not my chosen field. What about other stuff I can’t do, the humming is still going on Lady Lu. I could make a call, but what about tomorrow? What about my forgetfulness? Did I say something about leaving the trunk open all night before once?

If I can’t trust myself with every day, how can I remember even to make a phone call, as I would? I still miss Far Cry 5 and reading, don’t I? “THEY,” say we have two wolves inside us, and they worked together to eat a third. There’s HATE, and there’s FEAR. Always hungry, never full, Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 215 ~The Will Is Silence~

Every little bit of silence, I feel hope, funny I didn’t mention how my phone has scared me with every single sound and was that only last week, and now I need more noises to terrify me 24/7? The Will Is Silence, I hope.

Saturday, February 01, 2020

Log 215 ~The Will Is Silence~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I know why people pay so much for silence. It’s always my fault, you know, everything. Now Lady Lu, that’s some noise. The voice inside my head. And not the hum that’s coming through loud and clear now that I’ve cut the fan off. You know how often I talk about gratitude, the one point all my motivations agree on; it never fails. I should have been grateful for the ants last year because even that beats the constant humming. Had I kept my work ethic to see Alice Little, I would have more than enough money to not worry about the problem I’m facing.

A horse, how about my kingdom for a ladder? While I’m speaking on standing tall, I should work on growing a spine. Well, I did get a haircut, but I hesitated at the post office. I wouldn’t honk at the person at the drive-thru, and instead, I was going around. My biggest sin of all? I didn’t call back the electrician on this humming, and why? I’m afraid Lady Lu, of being in the way. The sun keeps rising, the world keeps spinning, and I don’t want to bother anyone. Today I bought a stethoscope trying to hear through the walls. Tomorrow I might buy a ladder so I can get to the roof myself. I’m not suicidal, but I would indeed kill myself before asking for help. Even dying, somebody would have to go around me, and so like I said yesterday, I’m Alive.

How about my poor dæmon, he must be going crazy with the noise, but he stays cuddling me wanting to help. He’s getting too old for all the foolishness though he still barks from time to time. My ear still hurts, and I ran over my big toe with the garbage can trying to make it to the roof. I could have fried myself with all of those switches trying to kill the noise. My greatest wish is for silence, especially now, one more day where I’m not reading. I’m still looking towards my future, so will the next two days come around, and I will be laughing about this problem? What about next Saturday, if I’m not crazy by then or my kid goes all Children of the Corn.

Somehow, One Day, only a second The Will Is Silence.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 215 ~Forty, William To Will~

All it takes to motivate me, sleep, sex, or a speech and that also explains why I’m not writing, and at this rate, I’ll never make it to forty but then what’s my age again… does it matter to the man in the mirror? Forty, William To Will, but not yet.

Friday, February 1, 2019

Episode 215 ~Forty, William To Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, forget who you are; can’t say I have ever seen myself as an actor, I don’t use a pen name, I have nothing but respect for porn stars but “Willie Long Stroke” will probably never see the light of day, and B III is camera shy. We are who we choose to be, but the thing is I feel sort of like a transformer instead of one that should constantly “EVOL” if you spell that backward you get love but anyway it’s like every day I forget who I am to be either worse or what others expect and then you.

I need you to remind me of whoever; leave it to a man to want to know what he looks like through a woman’s eyes… in touch with his feminine side, someone said about Todd Chrisley. Make no mistake Lady Sophia, I would fuck the Hell out of Savannah Chrisley (watch your language) needed to get some manhood points back after this morning finally losing my “No Fap” streak after forty days. All it took was Court Carmody, my MILF pornstar, Savannah Chrisley, Ellen Page, and Sabrina Nichole; can’t say I’m not equal opportunity pervert.

A man can say more with a woman on his arm than anything but god I love writing, and so you ask me Lady Sophia why I’m not doing it more often, why don’t I FOCUS… hell, I need to write a list of words like that. No, I would rather listen, if you asked me did my father ever give me any sage advice then the answer is no, but I spend my days on Spotify getting MOTIVATED by Eric Thomas, Tom Bilyeu, Fearless Motivation. On Youtube I see videos of Greg Plitt, Will Smith; I read Dennis Hof and how I am trying to finish Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, never too old to stop learning, a plethora of dirty things made so dull.

Something I never want to be, BORING, AVERAGE, a TRYER and I’m possibly that much worse Lady Sophia but mostly I’m EXHAUSTED, and as the song goes, It Doesn’t Matter, but here we are having wasted another day. In a little more than five years I will be forty, and if I live that long I can’t only be Will, I refuse, but I see a better man slipping away daily, Forty, William To Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 208 ~Willing Of The Story~

The hero of your story, a motivation of mine mentions that but when’s the last time I wrote anything of value, and though I’m not reading such and such, some words that can’t be forgotten the man I was. “Willing Of The Story”

Friday, January 25, 2019

Episode 208 ~Willing Of The Story~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, now that’s a story I plan on hearing one of these days, how about writing, hell I want a movie deal, I even wrote a bit of a synopsis years ago, not for the money but more ghost in the machine, a twist on Love Machine. Not exactly an original tale, computers in love with girls or guys in love with computers, can’t say I even like the one in my head now… my brain, this morning I was reminded of the story that brought me back to my writing sadly.

Honestly, I don’t care to relive that tale, but ideas hit like that sometime; I’m sure I told you that books are potent weapons and what are we writers… arms dealers that fill up armories known as libraries. Authoritarian regimes that seek to rewrite the world in our image, that wish to rule so many souls, even if it is only the one within us, to burn the world to cinders and yet have a history of it. Almighty gods, all-powerful beings become both prince and pauper, at the end of ballpoint pens, chutes of paper, and the dick (Language yes I know) what inspires my wanton whims these days.

Villain am I none, or so I would like to believe, I didn’t fuck up at work (stop swearing), I didn’t waste another day away… a tossup between the MILF, “reading” Lolita, and watching Far Cry 5, and seeing the world descend into the Land Of Confusion. Will, the force of, the power of, iron and hell it’s not even my complete name, yeah I don’t feel so good, one of my olds is coming over and let me say that I have a case of the willies that I can’t shake for anything. XXX films aren’t helping but who says they can’t write a decent story, take erotica for example; what inspires a man to enslave the ideology, identities, and insanity of the world only to become a slave, senseless, sanity ridden, so and so in mere seconds truthfully?

That isn’t to say writers can’t be heroes, only can you call yourself that when you’re attempting to save yourself, yeah plenty of books help people, I had a self-help phase once upon a time, long forgotten unless you count my studies of Solanum. One more reason I’m a writer maybe, better to be on the cover than anywhere else because a long time ago ha I was a villain Sophia, Willing Of The Story.

I Will Have No Fear