Meditation 219 ~Who Is HBK, Virgil~

Considering how many days I’ll have without human contact, I’ll have to find new ways of humiliation. Confessing to Braxton’s Euthanasia four years ago. Virgil is here. But I’m too busy chatting with the worst wrestling fans… Who Is HBK, Virgil?

Wednesday, February 5, 2025

Meditation 219 ~Who Is HBK, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… At least I haven’t failed before the human race… President Trump. The “man” I’m disappointed in is myself.

I haven’t bothered looking at the “Man In The Mirror” today, but it’s early Inspector.

There’s also the fact that I’ve cried twice before 9:00. Damn Eden White’s “Song Unsung” and “Yamaha” by Delta Spirit. It takes the fire out of Satan’s Sorority Girls 8.

Inspector, can we talk about HBK? Later. First, there’s B, always and forever, my boy. Braxton, my firstborn son. Between the last week of January and the first couple of weeks of February, there isn’t much fear of Humiliations Galore coming from people. Eye Doc?

Yes, I will set up another appointment. And I have to talk to the ISP. And there’s always the FEAR of my father’s arrival. But I survived losing Braxton, and with that, I’m a “Survivor.”

But today isn’t about Destiny’s Child, 2WEI, President Trump (Eff Donald Trump)! Or even The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. So why did I bring HBK up, my dear Inspector Echo? Because I’m “Just A Man.” And how many pop culture references is that, my lady? Again, you should read Satan’s Sorority Girls 8 by Eric Vall. The man’s gone crazy.

Only if you want crazier can you read from Twitter/X from the criminal cu*k boys.

I watched the Royal Rumble, and of course, I fell in with these worst kinds of people. Funny, that’s where I find all the Trump and Elon propaganda. Say horrific things about women, and suddenly, the algorithm says MAGA to the core. Inspector Echo, really? I sent a friend this:

But she’s old and has nothing to lose. But I’m forty. Dignity, delightful people, daylight…

I lost my dog, I lost B. That’s a lie because I signed his life away. And what about mine? I’m The Heartbreak Kid, but not in the fun WWE type of way. “I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow.” And it could be I want to find myself guilty of something other than B’s Euthanasia. And, “Only God Knows Why.” For the record, that’s about seven songs, my lady.

Excuse me, eight there’s also Rakuen (Paradise). Paradise would be joining my son. It would be not thinking about all these single ladies or superstars Yabbos and saying gross things.

9, Inspector Echo. Ignorance is bliss. Who Is HBK, Virgil.

1466 Days Without B III, Day 907 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 217 ~Will You B III~

“The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had,” I had one of those last night. But for 15 years, I had my son. And over a year later, I promised another fur buddy I’d look out for him. But being brave, blessed, and better. Will You B III.

Monday, February 3, 2025

Meditation 217 ~Will You B III~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Braxton Barks Bradford. Daddy, you’ve eulogized, prayed, and remembered me for a week, months, four years. 1464 Days Later…

And your first thought of me is not of my passing but of my might. Why can’t every day be like this? No. You would prefer to think that “Everyday Will Be Like a Holiday.” Moments where a song like “Something Just Like This” doesn’t make you cringe or cower.

Again, when you “Woke Up This Morning,” it was not cowardice, death, or embarrassment that you wanted. No, it was courage, Daddy; enough for today.

Courageous. Thou art courageous, my father. Not only for today. Or the next few hours.

Always and forever, as you taught me. All the times, I cried but not on my last day. I didn’t. I lived bravely. I live bravely. I live in you, always, forever, your Golden Son.

How would I know such things if I were not still with you? I was there when you began reading Pierce Brown’s books. I was there as you read Satan’s Sorority Girls 8… Don’t worry, Daddy, I was asleep on your chest as usual… Why do you think Virgil moved?

“Make Room! Make Room!” But speaking of books, Daddy, what about the Bible? The Beatitudes. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Is that what we’re doing here, Daddy? We are not men of faith. Didn’t you call yourself an atheist too?

But then you would tell anybody and everybody that a soul like mine couldn’t vanish.

Daddy is always right because I didn’t. I’m with you, the Jung-bae to your Gi-hun.

I need you to believe in better, not only in your bravery and courage, or that you will be blessed. I need you to believe that you will make it through. Well, everything… You’re Dad.

Yes, it is Grandpa that has you all up in arms. As if I don’t remember. Literally! Grandpa would stop by when you weren’t here, and maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t so brave, Dad, ha.

But you would walk in, and I’d leap into your arms, and I knew you would protect me, Dad. Because that’s what Dads do. Such a thought… And you do that now, always and forever, by being who you’ve always been, even if you don’t believe it. Brave, blessed, and better. Will You B III

“My son, my daughter, now that you bleed, you shall know no fear, no defeat, only victory. Your cowardice seeps from you. Your rage burns bright. Rise, warrior of Gold, and take with you your Color’s might.”
― Golden Son

“Death twitches my ear;
‘Live,’ he says…
‘I’m coming.”
Virgil

1464 Days Without B III, Day 905 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 216 ~To B Fair Virgil~

Life’s a game for everyone. Life’s a game, but it’s not fair. If I had my way, I would quit right now. But who would remember my son, my Braxton? I haven’t published his book yet. And my boy Virgil is still here. But… To B Fair Virgil.

Sunday, February 2, 2025

Meditation 216 ~To B Fair Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I know it’s not fair. You’re still breathing. Braxton’s Aunt Augusta confirmed that the other day.

At forty, you find yourself navigating life as an African-American, an atheist and often feeling alone. You know Virgil is here, but you also understand that it’s not the same.

Always and forever, remember that. I’m sure Braxton does. And what did that get him? Dead. And a father with an unhealthy obsession with death. Please! You were way into the dead, darkness, and dystopias before, during, and after Braxton. But without him here… Oh, what a world, what a world. “What a world, what a life, I’m in love…”

However, it’s with the prospect of leaving. It would only be fair with what you did to Braxton. Ending him. But it’s also important to forgive ourselves. How’s that going? With everything that connects us, this is the universal truth. Braxton is gone because you failed him. He met with the fire on Thursday, February 4, 2021. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Surviving Pet Death, Gracie Wyatt
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 014 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Hell! You should have put saving your son’s life. At least then, all of these failures would be fair. Or giving Virgil a better life. For 904 Days, life still hasn’t been fair to him.

Life hasn’t been fair to you since E-Day forty years ago. But you can say it’s been unfair for 1463 Days. You lost your player two, the samples, Triforce, and you ran out of time on the mission. Gaming? Well, between moving everything back upstairs and the phone. But Prince said, “We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.” B did.

Still, today, after a text from your father… That’s all it took to fail Number Six: “I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am.” What about the other Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING ― Satan’s Sorority Girls 8
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 014, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You don’t want to play this game anymore. GOD, how I know! I faced Braxton’s Euthanasia once again. And its aftermath. You know that Braxton’s cremation was on the 4th. And next week… The 10th is Braxton’s return. His ashes are in a box on the nightstand. The 13th is Braxton’s birthday. These dates, each one a painful reminder of loss. The 14th, that’s V-Day.

And no, not for Virgil. Will you talk M Anime into being your Valentine? A beautiful Puerto Rican woman who goes between calling you her bro AHEM step-bro. And then offering herself. Life, Existence… Seriously?

Existence is efffing wrong. Or as 50 Cent said, “Death gotta be easy ’cause life is hard.” If that ain’t the truth. And it’s easier to tell the truth to prosti… than a psychiatrist, right.

It’s why you write to harem girls, yourself, and Braxton. Or he speaks through you. Sigh. To B Fair Virgil.

1463 Days Without B III, Day 904 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 213 ~No Plan B, Virgil~

R.I.P. Braxton. No, that would be tomorrow, the 31st. Four years ago, no food was in the house, and Braxton wasn’t eating his. Why did I even go out? I should have starved myself with him because without him… There’s No Plan B, Virgil.

Thursday, January 30, 2025

Meditation 213 ~No Plan B, Virgil~

1460 Days Without B III, Day 901 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Can we pretend it’s another day I don’t want to talk about for a while?

The day BEFORE you died. I wasn’t planning on it. Ha, neither were you, Braxton.

Always and Forever; that was the plan. And if I could do it all again, B. Like you sent me:

When does the reason become the blame?
When does a man become a monster?
Forgive me
― Just A Man

I’ve been thinking about this query all day. And at the Day Job, I got my answer B III. Um…

It’s when I had you euthanized. I swear all the books I’ve read about the “good death,” Little Braxton. What is the plan for me to see it that way and not Ninth Circle worthy?

Treachery and the price of said treachery, I readily accept. But Acceptance of your loss…

NEVER! So, my son, what are my weekend plans? Hmm.

As I said, the day before you died, four years ago, I was here, Gospel 213 “Will “B” Seeing You.” Braxton, last year it was Tale 213, “To B Okay, Virgil.” If Virgil wasn’t here…

However, Virgil is here. Only I should have followed you to the bridge. Rainbow Bridge? I ain’t getting into Heaven. Even if my greatest accomplishment in life was the way I loved you. I love you still, my son. And if what I did was the greatest love and mercy…

Braxton, I did not plan on living this way. And to plan on dying… Do not tempt me B III. I survived your… ascendance that first year alone. And Virgil arrived in August of 2022.

He’s been here 901 Days.

But you have been gone 1460 Days. And “tomorrow and tomorrow, and tomorrow” B III.

I plan to talk to the ladies, Sophia and Luna, so I can spend the day remembering you, B, and nothing else. I’ll need to move everything back upstairs like it was. As you know…

TRADITION, tradition! Tradition! And no, B, I won’t be watching Fiddler on the Roof. Only there will be movies and McDonald’s because you love their fries. And BBQ for dinner.

But what movies and how much will I cry? Blood, sweat, and tears, Braxton. Inevitable. Blood on my hands. Again, if Virgil wasn’t here… Not enough sweat to save you. And if only tears could bring you back to me. There’s No Plan B, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 212 ~Virgil On B’s Whereabouts~

While I don’t remember the day, there was the look in Braxton’s eyes as we sat at the front door. He’s here, I’m here, and that was enough for both us. But V looks so lost. Indeed, I lost my way in this place, after B… Virgil On B’s Whereabouts.

Wednesday, January 29, 2025

Meditation 212 ~Virgil On B’s Whereabouts~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I should have done more. What… Sin? I’ve actually been a very good boy. Wednesday, January 22, 2025.

So, where is Braxton? For that matter, where is Virgil? 2:30 PM… “Do You Know Where Your Children Are?” One out of three or more ain’t bad. So Inspector? Braxton?

Considering from where you’re sitting… the week Braxton died? But at this moment, there have been a few tears for my firstborn son. I need only think of Braxton’s name, then… Only if you mean literally Braxton is in his box on the nightstand. And the pendant on top of that when I’m not wearing it. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Braxton’s soul.

Virgil Vivi Bradford is at the foot of the bed as usual. Breathing, Existing, Sleeping.

Inspector, in doing that, he’s keeping me out of trouble. Zone-Tan, Adore Me and MILFS?

I told you earlier today in Meditation 205 ~B Nights, See Virgil~ I’ve been reading Ryan and His Beauties 2, which, simply put, is about Ryan and the newcomers to his growing “family,” the Milf Jody and her daughter Olivia. For Braxton’s sake, can I keep it in my pants? However, as I said, Braxton’s passed away. Virgil’s snoring away. But what about some two-legged kids? Uh, with who? M Anime? Valentine’s Day, Dear Inspector.

Regrettably, I’ve been unable to focus on my Lost Boy today, Inspector. Or on the idea that he’ll have siblings, I’ll tell about his life one day. ‘Well, my left hand’s free,’ I say, but it’s a crude joke. Where is the man I was when I was mourning Braxton?

Hell! Where is my money? This is my son B III, whom we’re talking about; this is his fourth year of being gone. Birthdays, Christmases, and the day he passed away, so 12 gifts, Inspector?

And where do I send those gifts? How do I afford said gifts when I’m too busy looking up Dakimakura, things to show off M Anime’s assets, and more books? What would Braxton even want? To be alive. V wants back in this room. Relax, Inspector, it ain’t even like that. You can only sleep for so long. And since V’s bathroom training is subpar…

He’s a good dog looking for a friend. Braxton’s a dead one looking for his Daddy. Who and where am I? Virgil On B’s Whereabouts

1459 Days Without B III, Day 900 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 210 ~Will B Another Day~

The day I was born is the day I want to forget. The day my son B died is a day that I’ll always remember. And so I relive it going on four years on the 31st. And if my son returned asking that I choose another day in our “lives.” “Will B Another Day”

Monday, January 27, 2025

Meditation 210 ~Will B Another Day~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… No choirs of angels, no gnashing of teeth, and when did I ever make friends of my own kind…

Though Gabriel was Aunt Georgia’s fur kid. There’s also Wishbone. As if I needed to know where your love of reading came from. He was named after a dog from the glowing box. There’s also his brother Jason… Ha, what a funny name. And a black Chow Chow with no name at all who came here much too young. But he and I both left in your arms, Dad. Not by choice, because who would ever want to leave you? Now and later on… Forever

Daddy, humans, and their numbers, but okay, I’ll bite, ha-ha. Sunday, January 31, 2021, okay. But here you are. No, here we are. It’s been four years, Dad. Well, it’s about to be so, Daddy…

What’s next? You don’t know.

How many times have you dreamed up Heaven for me? Hell? And the Rainbow Bridge…

All Dogs Go To Heaven, right? Though I doubt you’ll be watching that on Friday. However, do you remember when you said that Hell would be an endless series of doors to places you don’t want to be? For me, it would be that same series of doors. Only I could not protect you. You couldn’t pet me. And we could never find our place.

Remember, Dad, you said there was a place for us. People for us… though I was happy, just you and me. Plus, there would be a ton of food. Not one day, someday, another day.

“From Now On”… Only, “Every Day Is Exactly the Same”

The day I left you. But there were so many other days, Dad. How many days were there when I knew as you did… You would call to me, or you’d hear me come running…

Knowledge is stronger than belief. Will you be watching “The Book of Clarence” on Friday?

Anyway, you and I knew this, “I’m all yours, I’m not afraid. And you’re all mine,” and that was all. What are we, girls… Twilight? You know how I felt about girls other than grandma and my two aunts. But again, Dad, I know that reliving that one day… the day… I died. It’s insanity. But all the best people are crazy. Especially you, Dad. But could you choose another day? Will B Another Day.

I believe death is only a door. When it closes, another opens. If I cared to imagine a heaven, I would imagine a door opening, and behind it, I would find him there.
― Sonmi-451

The best days are the first to flee
― Virgil

1457 Days Without B III, Day 898 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 209 ~Virgil, There’ll B Changes~

Today, yesterday, the day before, what changed. The same spot. A. little more broke. I’ve read about parents losing their fur kids. Only the day before, I read about Ryan and his beauties. My Braxton is still gone… Anyway, Virgil, There’ll B Changes.

Sunday, January 26, 2025

Meditation 209 ~Virgil, There’ll B Changes~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And with all the tears, it’s hard looking at yourself. Thank God! Add to that, sleeping, euthanizing…

To think there was a time back in your existence… We’re back to saying existence. Yeppers! “Never, Never Gonna Give Ya Up” or that word right. To exist here without…

Braxton? One more day down, and it’s only 9 AM. And how did you begin today? Didn’t you mention all the crying while you were reading? But before you were reading about your Braxton passing away, there was Gospel 209 Will’s Yearly Eye Exam. Seriously!

Every time we talk, you don’t even want to look at me, but the man you were back then is unrecognizable. He had no clue what was about to happen. “A Change Is Gonna Come.”

As I said yesterday, Horrible, Horrific, and Hateful. Like looking at these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Ryan and His Beauties 2
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 007 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And not into the eyes of your firstborn son anymore? And where were you three years ago after Braxton was gone? Tale 209 Virgil, B Seeing You. You sound like a broken record, which, honest to God, ain’t half bad. Because living in your grief of days gone by for a good boy… And yes, B III was a good boy, the best. No father ever had a better son.

Honestly! You’re no King Priam, Ezekiel, T’challa, or even Augustus. This week, you will be nothing more than a boy who lost his best friend. A father who failed his son. A man bested by a beast. It’s the things we love most that destroy us. Quoting Snow beats Trump.

Try reading Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Surviving Pet Death, Gracie Wyatt
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

If anything, you should be reading about your plans for the 31st and 1st. Will anything change about the day? Considering this is the fourth anniversary of Braxton’s passing, I once dreamed that you would burn the funeral garments. Your black hoody, Las Vegas t-shirt, and other odds and ends. You could spend it being nice to Little Virgil Vivi.

But if anything, you just have more work to do. You must move everything back into the Den, eat barbecue, and watch lots of pet loss movies or end-of-the-world stuff. Dystopias or Dark Humor, perhaps…

There is this movie Vivarium that reminds you of Virgil and yourself. But you wouldn’t give Virgil up for anything. Braxton? Rehomed to The Rainbow Bridge. Virgil, There’ll B Changes

“Sometimes you just gotta let go and let God. Just accept it, brother.”
John Q

1456 Days Without B III, Day 897 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 206 ~B Leaving Sucks Virgil~

I tell Braxton and Virgil all the time that I’m leaving. It’d be worse if I took them along. The groomers, the vet’s office, or their grandparents. But if I go somewhere without them… Who returns is worse or won’t stay long. “B Leaving Sucks Virgil.”

Thursday, January 23, 2025

Meditation 206 ~B Leaving Sucks Virgil~

1453 Days Without B III, Day 894 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m still trying to pretend today didn’t happen. That would be Monday, January 20, 2025.

Martin Luther King Jr Day… While I wish I could have done something to honor Dr. King, I don’t have a problem with it. Your Daddy, an African-American Author, Braxton.

I find myself giving too much credit to my own strength. Let’s be Real, my little B. You spoke to me today. Whether it was a ghost, a spirit, or my own madness, I consider any communication from my firstborn son a blessing. It’s not an acceptance of your passing but a reminder of the pain I carry. Always, forever

Inevitably, that brings us to today. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris leaving and Trump’s Inauguration. I had to go back to bed because I got sick. I’ll stick close to the bathroom for a while.

I know Braxton. Eww! Better out than in. But speaking politically as Padmé Amidala said:

“So this is how liberty dies with thunderous applause” — Padmé Amidala, Revenge of the Sith

It’s not just the pain, sickness, and insanity that won’t leave. It’s our country’s state and your absence, Braxton. Don’t get me wrong, B, ‘Nothing compares. Nothing compares to you,’ as Sinéad O’Connor sang. But it’s one more song for your playlist. How many reminders of your absence are there…

Anything beats the voice of the US today… 3 days futuristically. Too Good at Goodbyes. At the same time, I refuse to utter those words. Ask anybody at the Day Job. That’s one more reason we’re talking today. With the Day Job, it’s always later because Virgil and I have to eat. This reminds me that I need to take that shrimp from the freezer.

However, that’s the rub, Braxton. I love leaving, but where do I go? Nowhere, Braxton.

“Where you gonna go, where you gonna run, where you gonna hide? Nowhere… ’cause there’s no one like you left.” — Carol Malone from Body Snatchers

Every day, I watch you, my greatest friend, and Virgil, a good dog who just wants to be loved, get left behind by me. But it’s not just them I leave. It’s the feeling of being alone because I leave for the worst things, Braxton.

Seriously, what happened to my positivity? I told myself it wouldn’t last. And with today? But I did get another book idea, revelation, epiphany… Again, that’s too much, Little B.

So my idea… When I end up in Hell, I will walk away from you, from one door to the next, leaving. I’ll climb out a bed to the Day Job, bathroom, and vet’s office over and over like Annie Collins-Nielsen, believing I’m alive. Breathing. How to escape. Remembering Virgil’s name. B Leaving Sucks Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 205 ~B Nights, See Virgil~

The morning is looking better than last night. I’m so busy “talking” that I don’t have to think, and isn’t that normal… But I would rather be talking to B or falling asleep with him watching over me. Positive days. Better. “B Nights, See Virgil”

Wednesday, January 22, 2025

Meditation 205 ~B Nights, See Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo (my inner voice and guide)
For I have sinned… Can’t I do anything right? Even the simple act of sleeping eludes me. Last night was particularly rough. Virgil slept soundly, a stark contrast to my restless night.

If Virgil spends three hours… or more howling for me to come back. I swear… the neighbors must hate me if he’s making all that noise. I came back from a three-hour shift, and Virgil was losing his effing mind. Do I want to be thought of or completely ignored?

Anyway, so last night, first, my mind was going bonkers. How could I tell right?

Inspector, I had so many worries bouncing back and forth that I turned to meditation…

It didn’t help… However, I did drift off at some point during the night. But considering I was up at 4 AM, fell back to sleep at 5:40 AM, and slept for another hour… Inspector?

It’s another day slipping away, weighed down by the relentless demands of life. My LIFE? Eff!

On a brighter note, I found solace in the absence of nightmares about my son, Braxton. For that, I am truly grateful. Say what?

Inspector, that’s a positive? How dare I show gratitude for that. If anything, I didn’t have to call upon the greatest tragedy in “MY LIFE” to hold back everything else. Again, when existing becomes too much to endure… And trust me, I have looked at my special drawer with longing curiosity. I usually call upon Braxton’s loss. “I’m still breathing. I’m Alive!” If I survived the loss of my child, yes, “MY CHILD!” That nothing on this Earth can hurt me. Not even a Trump Presidency… God! I’m avoiding the news like a GD plague.

Eff Donald Trump, FDT! Fortunately, he wasn’t in my nightmares. It was my worries and… GULP! Women! But before we get into that. What had me all pretzel-shaped last night:

  1. Returning my ISP’s stuff
  2. Paying the Termite Inspector
  3. Paying off Waste Management
  4. Low Tire Pressure Warning
  5. My Day Job Performance
  6. Keeping The Heat On
  1. Arranging an Eye Appointment
  2. Paying off the “HOA”
  3. Whatever Donald Trump Does
  4. Braxton Barks Bradford Memorial

I’m sure there’s more Inspector Echo, but now you see why I don’t have time for those Six Impossible Things I write down every week. Between this Inspector and women…

Whatever! Another excuse for drooling over “Ryan and His Beauties 2.” I’m falling behind “Satan’s Sorority Girls” 8 and 9. Yet, somehow, I sleep; Virgil too. B Nights, See Virgil

1452 Days Without B III, Day 893 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 203 ~B It A Siesta~

Braxton only turned down sleep once. A siesta? A snooze? And that’s when I did my impression of Ironman. Braxton played Spiderman. But we weren’t heroes. Only men. But today, one man is a hero. The other is both villain and President. “B It A Siesta”

Monday, January 20, 2025

Meditation 203 ~B It A Siesta~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And nobody else… Well, you’re awake, my Dad, a black man. Virgil’s at the foot of the bed, breathing.

Oh, and Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day. And nothing else… If it hadn’t been for a box of garbage, you might have spent all day in bed. That would’ve been fine with me, Dad.

One more reason you miss me a lot. Do you remember how I would sniff every bag, box, and bucket you brought into the house? And how, except for Aunt Georgia’s, the best breasts, legs, and thighs came in a bucket or a box. Bringing home the bacon, right, Dad.

More like grandma’s turkey. And we didn’t have a lot of duck. We were more burgers and biscuits sort of men. But why all this talk about comfort food? It’s me, hi, I’m the problem…

Big Backs and then bedtime.

If that doesn’t tell you, I’m still with you. The Big Back era hadn’t even begun. And now, the time that you are in. You wish that you could hibernate for the next four years.

Daddy, you’ve been thinking about that since Sunday, January 31, 2021. I don’t know what to tell you. On one paw, I don’t want you to think about that day. But I know for you…

Humans are strange, you would say, after a nice long nap. Then we would go to your comfy reading spot, and I’d hop onto your lap or chest and snooze. Those were the moments of pure comfort, the ones that made us feel at home.

Humans were always much better in your books or the glowy box we would watch with my favorite girl, Dad.

But today, you’re Wide Awake. Am I keeping you awake? That’d be whatever you drank. Or is it the tears? Daddy, I don’t mean to make you cry, though again, I’d rather have you thinking of me than everything else. You and I, the man you would rather honor today, are great. While others… You’d say The Walking Dead if it weren’t insulting to zombies.

Daddy, how I remember those days. It’s one of the reasons I was somewhat surprised. As I joined their ranks. And all you asked was for me to be alive again. I mean, alive, alive.

Anyway… You’d say the other people are sleepwalking, but you love your deep sleep, Dad. So, Daddy, should we rest today? B It A Siesta

“Through pain I’ve learned to comfort suffering men” ― Virgil

1450 Days Without B III, Day 891 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son