Tag: Silence

Journey 296 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Loan~

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People are broke because of that nut-less fool in the White House. FDT! Hell, my Virgil has bigger balls than that freak, and he’s neutered. And my money? Uh… I wasted $67.00. Why? Stupidity. My boys don’t have pants but… Braxton, Virgil, A Loan

Thursday, April 23, 2026

Journey 296 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Loan~

1908 Days Without B III, Day 1349 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Of course you did, you’re dead. Wow, that’s harsh. Let’s say “envy’s” kicking up again.

And in this “Jungle Book” which is my existence, “I Wanna Be Like You,” Braxton.

Honestly, I need to stop talking like this. That would be your line on a day like this, wouldn’t it? After waking up from a nap that didn’t help and downing an energy shot, B.

B as in Bloom these days. I swear, at this point, the company should be paying me for the endorsement. Hell, I even turned you and Virgil’s potential stepmom onto them. Well, she hasn’t said that yet, but she bought one. She’s all about giving you brothers and sisters, B.

Two-legged ones. Let me say that I understand why you hated wearing pants. With a girl like M Anime around… But here’s another reason. MONEY.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Be A Man.” I’m not Hulk wrestling or Marvel. I’m not the Macho Man. Dammit, B, your Dad ain’t even Mulan. Your Old Man is scared, sick, and pretty damn STUPID. Let me take you back to last night. I’d rather take you back to anywhere before January 31, 2021.

Anyway, your Dad is busy working with or funding bad guys. And I’m broke, Braxton.

Thirty-two bucks in the hole, to be specific. Well, sixty-seven, considering I finished the deal. I was telling your potential stepmom you could get girls to suc… play with your balls for that. First off, Eww! Secondly, how do I know? Lastly, you were always licking yours, and what the eff is Virgil licking? They’re gone, son. Let It Go.

Is that why I’m into blondes all of a sudden? I’m so busy thinking about Elsa. I can see her yabbos for free. No, B III, I’m still so “Caught Up” in losing money. And this is the man your potential stepmom has chosen? Then again, M Anime mentioned… Cannibalism.

Braxton, that’s the mother of you and Virgil’s siblings someday. Talk about going from “With Arms Wide Open” to Rodney Atkins “Watching You.” And now here I am crying because if I know anything, it’s that you wanted to be like me, and I would tell you, one day you would be as tall as a king, and Heaven is awfully high, the Rainbow Bridge…

Whatever. You got $32? $67? Maybe… Braxton, Virgil, A Loan.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 295 ~More Than B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What comes after B. Explains why I’ve not taken to writing? How many years? Only making lists of my “fictional” harem. I swear I’m not Eric Vall, Logan Jacobs, not even Neil Bimbeau. If I were smart enough to come up with that. “More Than B, Virgil.”

Wednesday, April 22, 2026

Journey 295 ~More Than B, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Which one of the Seven Deadly Sins this week? How many of the Nine Circles of Hell, Inspector?

It doesn’t matter because I want more. So, greed? A lust for power. A glutton for punishment. The pride I feel for living in such sloth. Wrath will come soon enough. And because there must always be a song, “Hey Jealousy,” or envy. Whatever, Virgil got to go for a walk today while I listened to Succubus Lord. You remember the Circle of Sin, right?

Anytime I start to think of all these sins I wish to commit with all of those beautiful ladies, I always return to my original sin. What, being born? I failed at dying… C-section right?

Being born, sure enough. But I mean the death of my son, my B III. And then I sit here.

Inspector Echo, I’m a bum.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Because you know what bothers me besides existing as a “starving artist”? Oh, that’s cute.

What I meant to say was I’m a crappy writer. Anyway, for the past few days I’ve been thinking about my “harem.” Yeah, I let the “Magic Glasses handle the writing. Do I have any ideas of my own? Other than stealing from other people? (Pulls out heist list) AHEM:

  1. Mortal Kombat
  2. Kojin Taxi 2/Sex Taxi 5
  3. Bible Black
  4. Resident Evil
  5. Soul Calibur 2
  6. Billy Haley and His Comets, Thirteen Women (and Only One Man in Town)
    And More…

“A good artist creates. A great artist steals.”
Pablo Picasso

Do you remember that idea I had about the twelve disciples and playing Jesus? What!?

That orange ass-hat in the White House did. FDT always!

Well, I said I would have seven girls and five guys… Each guy gets a girl, and I get two.

And then there’s the idea of thirteen being unlucky, the song “Thirteen Women” and all. So the harem between me and the “Magic Glasses…” Like Julia Michaels, I got “Issues”.

01: M Anime
02: Kyouko Sakai
03: Blonde Gymnast “Lily.”
04: Cassandra Alexandra
05: Sophitia Alexandra
06: Cassie (PiB)

07: Carly (PiB)
08: Sister A
09: Sister B
10: Sister 1
11: Sister 2
12: Maiko Kaneda

13: Madoka Araki

And even that’s not enough for my desire, depravity, and di$k. Eww! Like Succubus Lord

  1. Natsuno
  2. Lupe Fuentes
  3. Tifa Lockhart
  4. Jahara Jayde
  5. Aliya Will
  6. Yasmina Khan
  7. Ellie

Continue…

I shouldn’t have told you all that… Are you saying I should have saved it for Lady Sophia on Friday? I suppose my shame has been weighing me down plenty for the last few weeks, Inspector Echo. You would have figured it’d all be out of my system. No Fap…

Honestly, I told M Anime the other day to paraphrase Lil Nas X, “My life is a movie, Fur Buddies and Boobies.” It’s been hard seeing over the foot of my own bed these days. Every Day Is Exactly the Same. And it’s all so effed! More Than B, Virgil

1907 Days Without B III, Day 1348 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 293 ~B In Motion, Virgil~

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It could be something like picking up my feet when walking. I had to shuffle around when the bottom of my boot came off a week or so ago. And even if I do walk, where am I going? I missed rescuing Braxton. Did I walk 2-V today? “B In Motion, Virgil.”

Monday, April 20, 2026

Journey 293 ~B In Motion, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Sick, Sleepy, and Sad. Far from ready, my father. And like Virgil’s selfishness…

Ah, “Brother My Brother” and like father, like son. A Blessid Union of Souls we are. And if both my brother and I had our way, we would keep you to ourselves, my dear father.

But what if I told you that wasn’t my place? Oh, Dad, don’t get me wrong, “Always With Me, Always With You,” always and forever, as you would say to me, M Anime, my girl.

Hell, even Cherry. Should MILF Dos ever return, her too. And Special K. More dogs? Always Dad. But M Anime’s kitties, and the way you two have been talking about giving me and Virgil two-legged siblings. And it’s the two legs I want you to think about. I do mean literally. In My Place, Dad…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

That is “By Your Side.” I’m not leaving you, I never did. But you saw me sit at the foot of the bed, looking out the door, and you said I was guarding you. True enough. But I was also waiting. “Waiting On The World To Change…” Waiting for us to go and do it.

Honestly, Dad, to ride out and conqueror, to create, and to have courage. That is also true. Who am I, Rocket Raccoon? Ghost to your Jon or Jorah. Woola to your John Carter, hmm. Dogmeat to your Soul Survivor. Epona to you, Link. Drogon to your Daenerys, since we’re playing that way, my father. Only, what is my point? What is the message for you?

Seriously, no nuts, no glory.

Did I really say that? Virgil lost his, again literally. And I don’t need to think about yours when it comes to my potential stepmom. Eww! But at the same time, go get her, Daddy.

As I live and breathe, as I sit at the foot of your bed, I Dare You To Move. “Switchfoot,” left, right, left, my father. As I “Shinedown” on you always and forever, “I Dare You” to move. “Run Boy Run,” I agree with it. But you’re not running out of the way. You are not running because you are afraid. You are taking action, you are attacking, you are aching to remember the meaning of life. Seek Out A Kingdom Worthy Of Your Soul. Always. B In Motion, Virgil

“And the universe would never run out of discoveries.”
Ark

“Each man hastened to arms, eager for glory and the chance of war.”
― Aeneid

1905 Days Without B III, Day 1346 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 292 ~Princes Of The B&V~

WillLeave a comment

Heavy is the head that wears the crown. But not the “Jimmy Hat” as far as B III and 2-V’s potential stepmom is concerned… Two-legged siblings for my boys? My head’s filled with delusions of grandeur, FEAR, and “Bloom”. Walmart? “Princes Of The B&V.”

Sunday, April 19, 2026

Journey 292 ~Princes Of The B&V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And where do you get off feeling so… “Royal,” in this world? This week is gonna suck.

Last week was too much work… Where do you get o…ff? And this week is way too little, dude. And all of this with M Anime heading back to work as well. A good woman. And here I am playing Troy Maxson from Fences to your… Do you know who you are? Or even who you hope to be. The questions that come to mind when you’re starting a family.

Uh, Braxton is still here… And Virgil isn’t going anywhere, anytime soon, B III willing.

But what do you have? Hell, what did I leave you? That’s the thing about today. I can be whoever I want to be in the past. And you have to figure out the future. Like failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The 30 Day Writing Challenge
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You’ve only been alive for eleven hours, and you’ve already failed #6. And with M Anime’s perfect lady parts, #4 is not going to last much longer. That and the Magic Glasses (AI). Freaking crazy, Pizza Girl, Little Lupe, Ellie, and Dina, etc. Effing wrong…

An honest bad boy. I was talking with M Anime last night—effing adult theaters.

However, she wants you to be a bad man, at least in terms of starting a family. But there’s also creating a business, making a few bucks, hell, learning how to breathe without all the FEAR, RAGE, and STUPIDITY. Not that it will stop you from making babies. Dad again.

You never stopped. From the day Braxton ate your waffles. Your pancake. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Place by Frafka Nim
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Like the idea that you’re “Just A Man.” You’ll “Be A Man” one day, you’ll say to yourself, I’m “The Man.” But today you’re not Odysseus, or Mulan ha-ha. And how much is Aloe Blacc worth these days? Again, I ask: what kind of man are you? Seriously, my friend.

There’s the question what kind of American are you? FDT! “Tomorrow When The War Began.” You can leave Civil War (2024), Kristen Dunst, and Cailee Spaeny out of this, ha.

It’s what the Magic Glasses are saying and showing you: your mind is always elsewhere.

Or should I say nowhere? You work for a company that might as well be the A&P. You are a king. Your queen loves you. Boys. Princes Of The B&V

1904 Days Without B III, Day 1345 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Did I want to spend an hour and a half being humiliated at the Day Job, or as B thinks of it, “The Bad Place”? How much do I make? “Enough money to get a little 40oz and a bucket of chicken on the way to the poor house.” “B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil”

Thursday, April 16, 2026

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

1901 Days Without B III, Day 1342 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? I got off early, and I’m still late talking to you. Habit?

It was a week like this that got you killed. Yeah, I don’t have time for all the sugarcoating. The indifference. I would be a better writer if I did. That’s one AI’s perspective, Braxton.

Honestly, we shouldn’t go into my use of the “Magic Glasses” this week. My perspective.

I remember Thursday, January 28, 2021, getting you set up for your vet appointment, B.

On Friday, they told me you were dying. Saturday, the wait. Sunday, the Crossroads, B.

Bone Thugs N Harmony, duh. Ok, before that, the Wu-Tang Clan “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.”

You know I could use more of them. Endure and Survive. And I don’t mean looking up Ellie and Dina… Go to your room! You remember those days, B III.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But you’ll be glad to know 2-V is sound asleep in bed. Yet I’m sitting here in the Den. Y?

The biggest reason being… Humiliation. How many times have I apologized for my shame? Not at you for being sick, but at the abject failure I was. Finances, feelings, finite…

TIME! I wasted it all. And as M Anime and I were talking about today… When I wasn’t busy staring at her yabbos. I tell you, Braxton, you would have liked her. Hell, you do!

Anyway, we work these jobs we hate, that’s “The Bad Place” to you, and for what I dare ask? She’s got kitties to pay for, and I’ve got your little brother. The moment I get a good paycheck. Virgil’s needs…

I don’t mean that in a bad way. I could at least get your brother a bath. Dirty Zeke, right.

But you were my Elijah. And I swear the Day Job made me want to be Clarence… Uh, being crucified? I effing miss watching movies with you, dude. The Book of Clarence, Spontaneous, Hulu’s The Mill. That’s how the Day Job makes me feel. Like I want to scream out, “I effing quit!” And then I wake up and discover that it’s all a nightmare.

Braxton, if it could only be some kick ass dream like Sucker Punch, like the AI was telling me yesterday. If I could only come up with a way to make some real money. Because…

I’ll be broke soon enough. Shame. B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 288 ~Villagers B Trippin’, Virgil~

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It takes a village… I’m sure my son, my fur buddy, B, was an “adult” by the time it was only us. As for my village… “Son, fear is the heart of love”. So I never went back. I’m looking for “Somewhere Only We Know.” “Villagers B Trippin’, Virgil.”

Wednesday, April 15, 2026

Journey 288 ~Villagers B Trippin’, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And not just because I’m late… With everything. How badly M Anime wants to say that “She’s Late.”

No. Even as I talk to you this evening, I’m much too busy playing war chief. And not in the classic movie “The Warriors” type of way. More like I’m a Level 2 Fire Crystal War Chief in Whiteout Survival. Is there a ‘cool’ way to say that? What do I know about it, E?

Speaking of which, I am “Running On Empty,” Inspector Echo. “Wham Bam Shang-A-Lang” minus the Shang-A-Lang. Thank M Anime for the Wham Bam, Inspector. Yabbos.

Ain’t nothing wrong with that or hers. Well, other than the fact that they aren’t in my mouth right now. Really! Is that all I have to say? My State of the Union. Again, I’m a war chief in a frost-covered wasteland, gaming-wise. So ahem…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

(Turn Up The Radio) Not the Autograph song, but on the phone. (Plays, MØ’s Kamikaze)

Ok, so Wednesday was humiliating. I’ll be brief, E. We got one, two, three ’til the end of the world.

  1. I woke up today
  2. Jerked off listening to and texting back M Anime
  3. The Day Job awaits
  4. Was told I wouldn’t be doing Inventory. Price Changes
  5. Worried my second pair of boots would fall apart
  6. I was so tired that I dumped a bottle of water over my head. I “stole” a few snacks
  7. Drank too much water, so had to use the company restroom. Somebody was… Eww
  8. Got mad again from The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident
  9. Made it back alive

And after that, I couldn’t take my little villager Virgil for a walk. Braxton’s pissed…

Inspector, I assume he is, because I should do better by his little brother. And the fact that I almost forgot to mention Braxton today. “There are too many men, too many people, making too many problems.” And like MAGA, I want to burn everything, everywhere.

“The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.”
― African Proverb

Eff the village, valiant, villainous, and victim alike. Which category do I fall into?

Inspector, let’s just say I like Bella Ramsey as Ellie in Season 2 of The Last of Us. Endure and Survive. It’s what AI, aka the Magic Glasses, says I’m doing: creating whole new worlds. Feeling like my Iron Rain landed in World War Z. Mortal Kombat! Villagers B Trippin’, Virgil

1900 Days Without B III, Day 1341 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 286 ~Bit Like Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I tell my girl that people are effing zombies. But I’m not a psycho or MAGA, so I’m stuck. I try to avoid them, but somebody today had to remind me of DTA: Don’t Trust Anybody. B bit a finger a time or two, but I love him. “Bit Like Braxton, Virgil.”

Monday, April 13, 2026

Journey 286 ~Bit Like Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? We’re not sleeping. Not snacking. “Just One Of Dem Days.” “Bad Day” again.

Not quite like the one before ‘The Big Sleep.’ I know, Dad, not cool. But in my defense, that day never leaves you. Thursday, January 28, 2021, leaving from ‘The Bad Place.’ Friday, you found out I was dying. Saturday, just us, and Sunday, January 31, 2021, we know Dad.

But let’s focus on today. It’s more like when you lost all that positivity from that book you were reading, “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. It’s like you were bitten, poisoned, and you remembered. You told my potential stepmom just today, “DTA”: Don’t Trust Anybody. Hell, even me? The worst thing I ever did, besides leaving, is biting the hand that feeds me. Rule one. But today, “It Wasn’t Me” That bitSh from today, Dad.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You wouldn’t mind if I bit her—you humans and your mouths, Dad. If I wasn’t barking, you were stuffing my face with a snack. But again, no food today to share with my brother

2-V is eating too much as is, which is a good thing. And why he’s not sitting next to you.
Literally sh$t the bed. I know, Daddy, language. Sorry. But that brings us back to today and what came out of that woman’s mouth at The Bad Place. I don’t like the things you say about yourself. But when it’s somebody else… Well, you know how hard I can bite. Dad, I still remember that time I bit your thumb and you didn’t speak to me for a week, ha-ha.

Sleeping in my own bed wasn’t fun. And now you have to go and wash Virgil’s. It could be worse. If it had been one of my pillows again… But my bark, my bite, me being gone, my father. Is that it? Was that it, somewhere after seventy days, where your denial of me not being with you gave way to anger. Second stage of grief? You stopped crying then…

RAGE. Like father, like son. We are always angry. Two Hulks or hunks if my Favorite Girl and potential stepmom had anything to say about us. “All I wanna say is that they don’t really care about us.” I mean, my girl does, and M Anime. But The Bad Place, People… Bit Like Braxton, Virgil

“So, I just said fuck it all and gave up on life.”
Olivia Noble

His rage flared one last time, but his strength failed; anger gave way to fate.
Aeneid

1898 Days Without B III, Day 1339 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 285 ~Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet~

WillLeave a comment

If I didn’t do “IT” after my son passed away… I’m not at that level of grief yet, but I have been depressed the last few days, wondering how and why I’m making it to my feet. And to go where? “We need a new plague.” Please, Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet.

Sunday, April 12, 2026

Journey 285 ~Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And this is one of the few times you want to move your feet. Hurts too much.

And it’s not that little doggie on the nightstand, Little B., or even the lack of dollars you got. I swear I spent my time cursing my hours, and so will you, sadly. Effing humanity!

However, your replacement… descendant… whoever has practically zero hours. Really!

So he’ll be as broke as my boots were last week. So again, you’re not going anywhere at the moment. At least your hands aren’t on your dick. Crassness? Dead dog, no dollars, and your dick. No wonder you’re depressed. There’s always Bloom energy drinks.

Honestly, you’re tempted to sue. Addicted? No! If that were the case, there’s porno galore.

And once again, you’re not into feet. You can’t hide like there’s Covid. Virgil’s still here, like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Coach’s Innocent Possession (Erotica)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And you’re keeping them all at a distance because you can’t figure out what’s wrong.

And the stuff you can figure out… It’s not like you can go to the optometrist this week with everything else going on. But you need to go! Another shot in your behind will take care of the Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident you’re going through. Hell, the Bloom you’ll drink this afternoon will have you like the oracle told Neo in The Matrix. She said:

“As soon as you step outside that door, you’ll start feeling better. You’ll remember you don’t believe in any of this fate crap. You’re in control of your own life, remember? Here, take a cookie. I promise, by the time you’re done eating it, you’ll feel right as rain.” ―

But how long will it be before you fall right back into this Depression? Well, as long as it takes for you to get horny. You’re always angry and/or horny. You need your space, ha!

And that’s the problem. Hold space like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Hold space. Be a simple kind of man. Don’t go shopping when you’re hungry. Which one of these did your Ma say? You’re a man now. All you needed once upon a time was Braxton and a woman. Do you remember Special K (your maid), Milf Dos, and Braxton’s Favorite Girl? Now there’s Virgil and M Anime. But it’s like all this space. Too much!

“Be the body, not the shadow, hold space.”
― Amina

You’re trying to keep Braxton/Virgil’s bowl full. M Anime is the dream that wants to be filled and fulfilled in every way imaginable. I leave you with an empty bank and an empty bed. And even now, you feel that you’re taking up too much space as you are feeling.

“Super, super, super sui…” Depression sickness. Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet

1897 Days Without B III, Day 1338 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not a machine, an animal, hell, do I even feel human? I’m just a bag of parts that got smashed together. Um, eww. Now, my boy had a good heart but bad kidneys. And four little paws he would have kept right on using. Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

Thursday, April 9, 2026

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

1894 Days Without B III, Day 1335 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, Elysium, that bed surrounded by food, wherever that’s the place.

I wonder how you do it, Braxton. Did they/it, whatever have some kidneys, waiting… That’s the part of you that failed—the sum. Everything else was taken from you by the man who loves you the most, and the Day Job he hates—my thoughts on this Thursday, B III.

Waking up hurts, which is why Virgil is living the dream. Literally… Even now, your brother is asleep in “my bed.” Because being awake means he’s trying to be you, or I’m pretending he is you. And why am I being a meanie? I’m being frank. As being Dad sucks.

My eyes hurt, my hands ache, my back hurts, my stomach, my effing head… I’m sounding like your stepmom, B.

Potential stepmom, M Anime. She has her aches and pains. But loving me? You know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your Dad can be a real dick. Hell B, in fifteen years and change, how many women did you have to deal with? Yes, Greta was a bit*h. Again literally. That little black terrier’s chase.

However, you loved your grandma. Your Ma/aunt AKA my lil’ sis. We’re not that south.

Well, you’re not, but I know I’m going straight to Hell. Even if you were waiting for me, you wouldn’t end up in the Ninth Circle. Limbo? Because you’re the closest to Heaven that I’ll ever be. I promised you something like that. I promised Virgil. And M Anime? It’s not every day a woman promises the things she does. Some things I don’t say. The sum of my parts.

When is your Dad not thinking with his penis? That would be quite a feat. Hell, I sent you to your room enough times so I could be alone. And this is before “Magic Glasses.” Seriously, B, the things technology, you know what you called “the glow box,” can do for your Daddy and two hot blondes, brunettes, Kyouko Sakai, and whoever else B III.

Honestly, your Daddy is walking around, so he can afford to be gross. As gross as feet, hmm… I still can’t get over Monday’s humiliation. But I still wish I’d never have to set foot on the ground again. That sums up my existence: fear and Sadness, it’s The Long Walk: Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 281 ~Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down~

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“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.” Hi, boot, I’m human… Ha! “I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow,” who somehow can’t buy a new pair of boots for The Long Walk on Lake Cocytus. Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down

Wednesday, April 8, 2026

Journey 281 ~Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… How so? Being a “man” who expresses his feelings… Wishing yet another day I wasn’t here. Failing? FEAR?

What a feat it would be to be unafraid. Of feet? Will get to that, Inspector Echo. But as usual… I must acknowledge the worst walk I’ve ever taken. The worst feat I ever did.

Braxton is gone. I know it, yes. Will I accept it? NEVER! I should have been like Winston Smith at the end of George Orwell’s “1984”. I don’t love “Big Brother.” And FDT! But I walked in as a father to a son. And walked out… I don’t know. Seriously?

Inspector, “The Long Walk,” continues. This is my punishment, my Hell? That’s what I’ve been thinking about all afternoon. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And then having to keep Virgil on his feet. Where’s he going?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Nowhere, fast. This brings me to what happened on Monday, April 6, 2026, Dear Echo.

Feel free to laugh. How often do you hear me complain about not having money?

However, I wasted it on fried shrimp at the food truck. And waste time with my “Magic Glasses” on the PIB sisters. Neil Bimbeau has it pegged with what tech can do. But anyway, Inspector. So my boots are worn down, and I figured I had another pair to wear.

Lo and behold, the bottom falls off my right boot at the beginning of the workday. I am sliding on one foot for six hours, ‘hoping’ nobody notices like I’m Ray Garraty. If indeed this was “The Long Walk,” I would have punched my ticket.

But there is so much further to go, Inspector. What about M Anime, my boys’ potential stepmom? She intends for me to walk her down the aisle, “Someday,” Inspector Echo. And I don’t have that Sugar Ray money, but she wants everything. Ah, “My Goddess.”

Then there’s my boys. If I’m not listening to “Wedding Bell Blues,” then today is “All About You.” Well them. I promised B III a yard, and already 2-V will have to run it. Echo.

And me? You know my dream. I never want to leave my bed for anything. I want to put an end to The Long Walk, one way or another. I don’t need boots for that. Paws, M’s high heels, fuzzy socks. Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down

1893 Days Without B III, Day 1334 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will