Tag: Wake Up

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

WillLeave a comment

It’s not even Halloween yet. E-Day has been over. The most horrific day ever was back in January. But today I’m in line, crying over my boy, money slipping away, worried about every blip in my vision, etc. The Horror, the horror! Horrors B And V

Thursday, September 17, 2026

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

2055 Days Without B III, Day 1496 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? I can’t get that Michael Kewley quote out of my mind, B.

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

Here in my car, I feel safest of all… Ok, No. Your Dad is a liar, but I’m one for an earworm. Um, sounds terrible, doesn’t it? Somewhat like, “slept like a rock.” Headstone? Graveyard.

But I’m not scared of dying, Braxton. Is it that I will ALWAYS be in mourning over you, or is it all the freaking spooky season crap at the Day Job? Two things being true…

Honestly… Today, while I worked in fear within the Bad Place, as you and your brother think of it. As I sat in terror in the car. As I woke in horror of having to come and talk to you…

I love you, B and 2-V… But allow me to rip off Alice in Wonderland.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

Six Things That Scare Me:

1: Forgetting You, Failing Virgil. It just popped in my head today. Greatest love I’ve ever known, you and 2-V

2: Losing Your Potential Stepmom. I cried over you. And she hates me comparing. You and her are my heart.

3: My Eyes, My Eyes. I ‘thought’ I got bug spray in my eyes after recent events. I’m not blind

4: The Black Ant Incursion. Carpenter Ants destroyed the backyard shed last year. Now little ants on the kitchen floor.

5: Leaving The Bad Place. We hate it, Little B. But I got called into the office yesterday… Moving shelves

6: I Need Money, B. You’d be proud, Braxton. I shared fries with your brother. But $250 a week! Fuck!

And I should watch my language, I know. Such a small word, but with such a big impact. B III. And with all these words, what? Am I building a life? You don’t need happiness.

But that’s what I was thinking about… “No presence of fear.” When I was a Senior in high school, after the homecoming pep rally for about five minutes. Whenever I would wake up and see you sitting at the foot of the bed. To my fears. You shall not pass!

Seriously, you don’t want to know this one, B. But when me and your stepmom make you and Virgil some siblings. Man is a small word. I Love You is a small phrase. Why not FEAR? Horrors B And V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 075 -Braxton, Virgil, Worrying Bites-

WillLeave a comment

I work… Is this work? I work, I create, I innovate, and I demonstrate my incompetence. And that doesn’t worry me? No more than listening to my son bark from wherever. No, today, it’s bugs, my eye, the Day Job, and KFC. Braxton, Virgil, Worrying Bites

Monday, September 14, 2026

Legacy 075 -Braxton, Virgil, Worrying Bites-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? It’s 3 AM and “whatever bitter brew you’re drinkin’” What, Bloom?

I remember when you were all about 5-hour Energy. All the times when I would get my mid-morning Z’s under the table and your eyes would be stuck on the Glow Box. And you would always tell me how when you were done, we’d have fun and go outside, Dad.

Done? You didn’t mean with the day, the do’s and don’ts; it was a ton of those, I know, right? Being my Dad. Always and Forever my Dad. Like that movie we saw, First Knight:

“Brother to brother, yours in life and death.”
First Knight

That you never need worry about, my father. “I’m Still Here.” “I’m Still Standing,” Dad. Yes, “I’m still standing! I’m still strong!” Like father, like son. And no, I don’t mean everything in the Glow Box. You’ll turn that off.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But buying my brother more French Fries (that’s what you call those fry golden stick things, I like…) My Future Potential Stepmom. And what isn’t to be always and forever:

“It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”

  • Michael Kewley –

You’ve been thinking about this a lot, my father. It’s nice to have it defined; at least I know finally. It’s why I always, always, ALWAYS wanted to be so brave. What took me down?

You worry it was your indifference near the end. You worry it was you, period. You worry that there is worry in a place like this, where I am. Always full of worry, my father.

Because you can’t get full of anything else. Food? You’re still worried about walking into the kitchen. Too much fun. Dad, you fuck around plenty.

LANGUAGE! Yes, Dad, I know, I know, watch what I bark. However, you don’t disagree.

And even before you met Miss M Anime or my Favorite Girl, you had your “big sister” who told you why you found it so easy to starve yourself, which is ‘pretty reckless,’ I think.

Look who’s talking, right? I didn’t eat either, and yet I was so full of love for you, of memories of being a good boy, your son, and there was worry, not an ending knowledge.

No, a fear that gnawed away at me. A Black Dog Serenade. Biting, Pulling, Tasting.

However, I raged, Dad, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. I cooked. So much more tastes better than fear. Braxton, Virgil, Worrying Bites

“Still, we have a moment to simply be two men for a little longer, and not worry about how history might view us.”
Logan Jacobs

“The seeds of life – fiery is their force, divine their birth, but they are weighed down by the bodies’ ills… That is the source of all men’s fears and longings, joys and sorrows…”
Aeneid

2052 Days Without B III, Day 1493 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Legacy 074 -B’s Chef Notes: Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

Is there a room in this house that I actually enjoy? V has B’s room. I work in the Den as I hate going downstairs. And now the kitchen… Last year I was fighting ants in the backyard. The bedroom? Getting heated with my girl. “B’s Chef Notes: Virgil.”

Sunday, September 13, 2026

Legacy 074 -B’s Chef Notes: Virgil-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And for today at least I get why you’re ignoring me. However, the kitchen floor’s awfully shiny.

How you hate the kitchen floor. I was right there. Uh, Friday, Saturday, and today?

You thought everything would be okay after E-Day—a year older but no wiser. Except money would fix everything. Do you really want to talk about your finances today? Fuck!

That is a dangerous question. If you had your way, you’d never talk about anything else ever. You haven’t wanted to utter a word since you turned what, seven, eight, whenever you had that Emergence Day and screamed: “What The Hell!” Again, you meant to say “what in tarhooties.” Again, you wanted Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game and not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze. And speaking of toxic waste, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dystopian Girls 6 Rodzil LaBraun
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Words are not a waste. Unless you’re MAGA… But anyway, your words to M Anime.

Time for you to cook, perhaps? You’ve been thinking of what to say to her all day, haven’t you? And she let you know she’s reading, so what do you say? Your kitchen, so, COOK…

M:
Yes, the AI has my number. It isn’t love. I wanted it; it could have been. It was becoming, but yes, Sunday, August 24, 2025, you tossed it. And so I am trying every single day to find it. As the song goes, I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved. And you just left. My Olds didn’t do that. You won’t like me ‘comparing,’ but Braxton didn’t do that. He had to die, literally. One minute you’re mine and the next nope. Not even an “it’s over” or “goodbye.” Just another option. Better. I couldn’t care less about the sex. It’s simply the disloyalty, the lost trust, and yes, I am resentful. If it was so easy before, how do I know it won’t happen again? That’s what I’m looking for; I need to see it again. As I told you before, you have full agency over yourself. It’s not that you cheated or anything; you just up and left. And I waited for five months, finally came to you, and…

Oh, it didn’t work, and you were scared. And I’m scared. I am not better than you by any means imaginable… If you only knew. And you are not replaceable. But you broke loyalty, faith, trust, whatever, and my damn heart. Braxton is a wound that will never fully heal, but you’re still breathing; you’re alive, and I’m asking you to “Have a Little Faith in Me.” You know what I want to give you, but I have nothing. I can’t even say I got “Nothing But Love” for you. But I have time, the truth, tons of stories, and everything else that shows you can trust me. I need to trust you to love you, and I have shown that trust. How I want us to be together, and how I care. I’m not enough. Or rather, what I’m offering. I offer all I have, but you broke it—those three little words you want, though: I Love You. You say them all the time. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but my answer is not never. My answer is someday, someway, and somehow.

Well, that kept you from looking at the kitchen floor a bit. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

You didn’t mean to go this long, this hard… Seriously, what will the Magic Glasses/MIMA say about this? Clean the kitchen… B’s Chef Notes: Virgil

2051 Days Without B III, Day 1492 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 071 -V’s Number Of B’s-

WillLeave a comment

“Save the cheerleader, save the world.” I can’t blame Hayden Panettiere and Heroes for my failing grades. I was long gone. I had a brief thing for blondes. I wasn’t worried about bucks… I met Braxton a year before that show… “V’s Number Of B’s.”

Thursday, September 10, 2026

Legacy 071 -V’s Number Of B’s-

2048 Days Without B III, Day 1489 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? Humiliations, how many times I’ll say hmm or hah and her yabbos.

I mean, your potential future stepmom’s of course. But it’s only 5:30 in the morning.

Ay me, sad hours seem long.

Romeo & Juliet, Shakespeare 

Honestly, Shakespeare? You can blame the Bloom for that. And as for that ‘sadness,’ um…

Yeah, you can’t forget the umm. Yeah, your Dad is such a caveman, and maybe we’ll get to my STUPIDITY in a few. But let’s start with “Regrets, I had a few.” Like this morning, B? A random thought, but drinking Bloom didn’t start until you were gone. Energy shots?

Yeah, maybe. But it’s always surreal when I notice things “AB” (After Braxton) after you.

Should I talk about “All These Things That I’ve Done” with the Magic Glasses/MIMA, B? To be fair, you’re in it every day. You and your brother. But your Dad…

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

I’m a bad man, but I’m not the worst. At least when it equates to EVIL. I’m far less MAGA Evil and more “Resident Evil.” Distractions, films, and video games. And still at 42, B…

I’m not dead yet. Or at least that was my first thought when I woke at 4:30 and dicked around for an hour. And I’m not talking about being with M Anime. Again, it’s early.

She’ll make her presence known soon enough. Her boobs/yabbos, naughtiness, and… the one “kitty” she still keeps. Braxton, I know you don’t want to hear about that, my boy, eww! But look at it this way: I join you in Heaven or stay with M.

D as in death, D as in grades, or giving the D to a woman who will give you and Virgil even more siblings. And I still have to name my first two-legged son after you, his big brother. But with all of this, Braxton, I can’t sing “What A Wonderful World.” No, not yet.

Not without you? Hell, how much did I think about you on Emergence Day? Seriously?

That’s another thing. I thought mostly about the BUCKS I didn’t have. The BABIES that M Anime wants. Your brother, who is still asleep in my bed while we’re chatting.

Honestly, B, you were always waiting for me, like she does, as everyone does. Save the world. Make the grade. Something! V’s Number Of B’s

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 068 -B Visualizing E-Day, Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

Today’s no good. B showed up early. He had such wishes. E-Day wishes. I bought him a thing of fries. I ate a baked potato. He got a few slices of steak. But not this year. Uh, B’s gone, and V’s disappointed. But what if? B Visualizing E-Day, Virgil

Monday, September 7, 2026

Legacy 068 -B Visualizing E-Day, Virgil-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? Can we pretend, Daddy, just for a little while? Another world:

It’s sometime after 7 AM, Emergence Day. Braxton wakes up. You named your first two-legged son after. Virgil finally has someone else he’s attached to. I know you and my stepmom are ‘busy’. Virgil does his best to wrangle the rest of our siblings in.

Three, as stepmom wanted. Braxton, Willow, and Mirabel. Or perhaps their Braxton, Luke, and Leia? Three daughters… Katniss, Tris (Beatrice, B for Braxton), and Ember.

Dad, the point is Virgil tries to slow them down, and by the time they reach you and stepmom… “Happy Birthday, Daddy!” Three times over. Stepmom still knows better, ha.

“Love Is A Long Road.” And yours has further to go, but Stepmom, the three, my little brother Virgil approaching six. To us that’s 40.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And you’re 42. No longer the Slave “41” (Cue Ben-Hur Galley Drums), More like The Bullitts’ “All About You.” Because today is all about you, my father, this life… Existence?

Far from it. Farmland, fields full of flowers, food growing all over thanks to stepmom.

Her greenery. And you, my father? Living a life somewhere between Ryan and his Beauties by Jack Pinkhunter and Bikini Days by Michael Dalton. Do you see my stepmom as such a woman… She’s a woman of the land. You remain a man of leisure. A man of passions. As you sing to my furry little brother, “My life is a movie, fur buddies and boobies.” And your work, the discipline, never changes. Not even now. But what has Dad

You don’t want to die today. Above everything else. You’re not yearning to “go up.”

Somehow, someway, you’re not looking to me. You’ll “Never Forget Me.” Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Akon, and Memphis Bleek, sure, but never me. That’s what makes this day easier to bear than the worst day ever. You’ll never accept me being gone, but you can at least, for a while longer, know that you are “Alive.” You’re still breathing, so you can blow those candles out. You can take a breath and be happy (okay, too much to ask), but me, Virgil, and our two-legged siblings are all happy for you being alive. V and my stepmom?

I don’t want to know what you visualize. But Happy Birthday!!! B Visualizing E-Day, Virgil

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

“Endure, and keep yourselves for days of happiness.”
The Aeneid

2045 Days Without B III, Day 1486 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Legacy 067 -To Arms, B, V-

WillLeave a comment

I wonder how my Ma felt forty-two years ago on September 6th, not realizing she was about to make the worst mistake ever the day after. I was a C-section; I wasn’t fighting to get out. So why have I fought to stay? Prepare for disaster. To Arms, B, V

Sunday, September 6, 2026

Legacy 067 -To Arms, B, V-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you are no Space Marine. You got soul, but you’re not a soldier. T-Minus 1 day.

Today. Today? And today… Or rather, “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.” You can’t even Shakespeare right. And you expect to fight? Long to die, honestly. With the exception of M Anime’s extraordinary yabbos and how she’d wrap them. Emergence Day

Your head has been full of battle plans. Nothing would make you ‘gladder’ than to stay in bed today and tomorrow with your boys both left and right. Well, getting familiar with M Anime’s yabbos. She recently showed off her backside. Hallelujah Heaven. Sir Mix-A-Lot:

“Baby Got Back”
Sir Mix-A-Lot

“Once more into the breach, my friends, once more. We’ll close the wall with our dead. In peace, nothing so becomes a man as modesty and humility, but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger, summon up the blood, disguise fair nature with rage and lend the eye a terrible aspect.”

The Postman had his say as well. But today and tomorrow are not about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The keywords are life and happiness. Tomorrow won’t be.

Honestly, you hate your life. And Happy? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Sleepover Harem: Part 3 –
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Because you choose to… Keep living like this, lying like this, loving like this. No, you weren’t going to say Laugh. Now is not the time to laugh. You’re halfway tempted to get your church on by saying, “Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. “The Devil Is a Lie.” So is the cake. However, bank accounts

Those tell the truth. For example, you won’t be having your usual breakfast on E-Day.

It’s why you were dreaming about bacon, probably. No bacon, sausage, hash brown and pancakes. B, I’m sure, is appalled. Unable to pay for an E-Day staple? How dare you!

Your traditions only hurt you. My bad. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

If anything, the battles you have been recalling, the badass heroes, their bravery…

Victories, or at least glorious ends, every single one. Because tomorrow is not a celebration of birth; it is not forty-two years of a beating heart, another breath, or even playing with your twig and berries. It is simply the belief, the knowing that being born was a mistake and that only the loss of B is worse. So Emergence, Existing, Evolving.

Tomorrow is not an existential crisis. It’s facing Extinction and coming out the other side.

It is the stand of “The Thirteenth Warrior,” who prays “only to live the next few minutes well.” It’s Space Marines roaring “For The Emperor.” But loving Braxton, Virgil, and M? To Arms, B, V

2044 Days Without B III, Day 1478 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 064 -Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers-

WillLeave a comment

Thursday, September 3, 2026

Legacy 064 -Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers-

2041 Days Without B III, Day 1482 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? The 2nd was horrific. I hate today. The 6th Fucked. Emergence Day

T-Minus four days. What’s the plan? Let’s start with the simple facts, Braxton. Ok, money

Not enough for anything. As a matter of fact, do you remember that twenty dollars?

Effing Day Job! And no, I’m not ready to talk about why I hate Kermit so much. B III. Me?

Oh, you know I’m going to talk about how much I hate myself today. But the twenty I’ll have to put up as the Glow Box people rob me yet again. With enough left for a cup of popcorn chicken and a can of Bloom. Are Big Macs still $8.00? So what’s with my RAGE?

You and your brother are good people, and you ain’t even people. I wish I weren’t. I hate forty-two, B.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

But that’s Monday’s problem, right? And I’ve already forgotten how bad this Friday is going to be. Again, I built up one word in my head: “Disgusting,” and Fucking panicked.

And today, that word, or these words, are the panic: “Birthday” and “Emergence Day,” B.

So please allow me… AHEM! I wish I were never born. I hate the fact that I wake up every single morning. I hate the fact that I killed the one who loved me the most. That is you, B.
.
And my Olds? I hate that I’m not the son they wish they had. A nearly 42-year-old bum, I know. And the ones I do love- Braxton, your little brother Virgil, M Anime- think I hate them so much, B.

Like porno, if I stay listing off everything that I hate about myself, you could pretty much call me Captain America. “I can do this all day.” Rage, rage against the dying of the light

What light B III? In your eyes? I handled that one. No cake this year. And with M, I try.

Virgil is whiter than white, but “The 3-3-3 rule” has never worked. Three days, three weeks, three months. He’s been here four years, and he’s still scared to death, Braxton.

Today, I’m scared of the Day Job, the lack of dollars, my wayward dick, etc. And also eww, right. The Rage Virus? There’s no party here but the ANXIETY. Horny as Hell, eww. Hateful. RAGEFUL. Older. Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 061 -Virgil Will B Eating-

WillLeave a comment

“Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear.” My mind feasted on that today. And my belly? Well, at least seven days from now. E-Day? V was looking forward to a few bites of Medium Rare Steak. Still, “Virgil Will B Eating.”

Monday, August 31, 2026

Legacy 061 -Virgil Will B Eating-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? Well, you haven’t killed anybody, the Magic Glasses/MIMA, and you’re sober.

First off, I guess the whole “killing anybody” angle wasn’t very funny, ha. Meaning me…

Second, the worst you’ve done with The Magic Glasses/MIMA is create outfits for the Order of Bible Black, or um the Order of the Black Bible, with two Asian women. A mom and daughter duo. Is this one of those things you’d send me out of the room, Dad? SIGH

And as far as being sober… Now that’s something you would tell me about and not the bottom of the bottle—memories of you and my bro. You drunk off your ass on E-Day, Dad.

LANGUAGE! Yes, I know. But last year you had enough money to get drunk and dance with Virgil to “King of Wishful Thinking.” M Anime…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Ms. M Anime to V and I, I suppose. Our potential future stepmom. Did you get her a present for her birthday last year? And on yours, you were only trying to survive, I know.

Today it was two bags of chips from the Day Job, two mini sausage biscuits, two popsicles… maybe. A bag of popcorn, a cappuccino, and a Raspberry Lemonade Bloom shot. And if you’re really lucky, maybe you won’t burn down the house using the oven.

“Someday you go through the rain
Someday you feed on a tree frog
This ordeal, the trial to survive
For the day we see new life”
Snake Eater, Cynthia Harrell

Yeah, you might be better off trying to be a “Snake Eater” rather than a pizza in the oven, my father. Thou Art Courageous, and I recall barking that while hiding. You did try, Dad.

Bacon. The simple things, my father. Remember meeting my Favorite.

Was it E-Day that she sent the pizza and then you left me and went to the movies with my Favorite Girl, and you came back with her? Yes, “I was intemperate in my youth.”

That’s a nice way of saying I hated her guts once upon a time. But never in my whole life, all fifteen years of it, did I hate you. And now we sit here, “Imagine,” me on your left, Virgil on your right, a late Monday afternoon and the biggest thing on your mind. Yabbos

M Anime’s to be precise, and I don’t need to know that, Dad. Anyway, there is your belly and what you and Virgil will eat 7 days from now. E-Day vittles. Virgil Will B Eating

“Sometimes we think that, because we don’t say the right things or love the right people or even think the wrong thoughts, that we don’t deserve a seat at the table”
Pledged To Him 12

To what crime do you not drive the hearts of men, accursed hunger for gold?
― Virgil, The Aeneid ―

2038 Days Without B III, Day 1479 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Legacy 060 -It, Not B, V-

WillLeave a comment

Plans for Emergence Day… “JSS” Just Survive Somehow. Do I have a better plan? B III’s Fav Girl and I met on E-Day—one of the better ones. M and I were broken up last year. So I won’t lay this on her… V and I won’t have steak this year. It, Not B, V.

Sunday, August 30, 2026

Legacy 060 -It, Not B, V-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you look… Older. And next week? My Braxton, My Braxton, why have thou forsaken me! Wow

Too much. “Never Too Much,” when it comes to Funds, Fucking, and Fear. And for the record, you’re not Luther Vandross. You’re not the monster from Stephen King’s “It”. MJ “This Is It”? Nowhere near close. And what about Captain Mifune “Alright, this is it!!”

You wish! And not an E-Day wish either. No, you look at how you lived. Every day is like you facing down your Old Man. When you walked up and down the street going nowhere, only for him to beat your ass that night. When you wrote down the math problems and had not one answer, and he smacked the shit out of you. Too bad it wasn’t the social anxiety. When you failed every test, and you kept telling him before exams, But, But, But! Like somehow in one day you’d turn it all around. Like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Harem of the Dead –
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 026 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

That’s “The Script,” ain’t it? Heading into forty-two years of life. Bullshit! You know it.

But to die well. To die, well? It should have been that night when you fought your Old Man. Knife at the ready—Braxton, who had been kicked four feet into a door in front.

Braxton was ready to die defending you. The Old Man ‘helped’ give you life. But you gave B love. And thus you see where loyalty is: courage, companionship, cash unneeded.

Honestly, to give Virgil that Courage, companionship, and such love. What a way to spend a last week at forty-one (Ben-Hur Drums). Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Hell! You should be plotting how you intend to spend this week. Fucking, food, furry.

Was last year really better times? Journey 060 Braxton and Virgil Clocked That’d be no.

And you’re almost in the exact same place. Hurting, hearing impaired, and there is her…

M Anime? Which one is better? A for Anger or F for Forgiving. There’s apologizing…

Which she has done. And you’re not asking for another. Something you just have to live with. But with nearly forty-two years of damage… No wonder survival isn’t so glorious.

But Friday you will have decisions to make. The bills hit on E-Day, though. Mistakes?
You’ll make a few, I’m sure. How does one plan for Heaven or Hell? Not you! It, Not B, V

“Live for nothing, or die for something.”
Rambo

“Love for nothing, and die for something.”

2037 Days Without B III, Day 1478 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 057 -Talking Anime B-V-

WillLeave a comment

Thursday, August 27, 2026

Legacy 057 -Talking Anime B-V-

2034 Days Without B III, Day 1475 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? “We’ve Only Just Begun,” haven’t we, B? Virgil, help us. At least he’s here.

V isn’t someone that can be refuted, who I would return in a million years, and must one day be reckoned with. That is, if I can keep him alive. Vet visits, eye appointments, docs

Cash basically. And do you know what I realized, B? I never asked you whether V could join our family. While I may have forgotten his Gotcha Day… Saturday, August 13, 2022. I will never forget you all but pushed him into the car. You know V’s never jumped in.

Here we are in 2026, and I still had to listen to him cry in your room until his rescue…

Vis-à-vis picking him up in his pillow and bringing him into the Den. It’s like I’m “The Big Bad Wolf.” That’s heavy. Literally, “The Heavy.”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

And speaking of picking things up, lifting… Something, something, truck unload, spirits, and then son. Tell me what effing happened yesterday with your potential stepmom.

Remember the day we had to have “The Talk” about you not humping your toys around your favorite girl. Not latching on to her yaboos or behind. Seriously, Braxton Barks.

Anyway, she loved you even for the eight months after E-Day as you threatened fingers.

She became your favorite, and we both love her, but then there’s M Anime… Braxton…

She’s my favorite HUMAN. Hell, Braxton, you’re a little god, the angel on my shoulder, my prince. She’s my goddess. The Most Beautiful Girl in the World. My Phoenix Queen.

But last night, Geez Louise!

“You Always Hurt the One You Love.” Well, I killed you. The only silver lining is that 2-V is “healthy,” but hasn’t seen a vet. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself on E-Day. I fucking hate that I was born. And here we have M Anime on the 24th of 2025.

Braxton, you hurt me; you left. I hurt me; I stay. M Anime hurt me; she left. And then you returned. Not a reincarnation of your brother, but as the song goes, “He Lives In You.” I’m Still Here.” And M Anime came back. Of you, me, and her, who do I hate? I’m starting with the Man in the Mirror. LOVE? Talking, you, V, M… “Someday.” Talking Anime B-V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad