Tag: Music

Journey 317 ~Some BS Reading, Virgil~

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I’m the Last of My Kind, Mr. Ray Garraty. And where’s my Pete McVies? B’s still gone. And who would V be if I ever got around to reading The Long Walk to him? I should have been reading anything. But the damn “Magic Glasses.” Some BS Reading, Virgil

Thursday, May 14, 2026

Journey 317 ~Some BS Reading, Virgil~

1929 Days Without B III, Day 1370 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Did you read a good book? Not “The Good Book,” mind you. You can read…

What? You’re not a slave. You’re just… Dead. “And before I’d be a slave, I’d be buried in my grave. And go home to my Lord and be free.” A few things about that, Braxton…

First, I “know” you can see colors now. Rainbow Bridge and all. The Rainbow Road.

Second, I have no problem “saying” you’re gone, and you’ve died. “It’s no insult to say a dead man is dead.” It’s ACCEPTANCE. To read. To endure. To know. That will never happen, Baby B. It’s just a bullshit word. As far as I’m concerned, you’re on my right, B.

Virgil’s sleeping on my left. But thirdly, my dear B, you know how MAGA is about Black people. Listen, listen, hear and understand. Always FDT!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But I’m not here to talk about hearing unless it’s Succubus Lord 14 (Swimsuit Edition) or M Anime minus the swimsuit. Braxton, I love your potential stepmom’s yabbos. Jeezu B!

And no, I’m not getting all religious either. Okay, there is the religion that the Magic Glasses are building. As far as “The Good Book” is concerned… John and Revelation.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son… B, my sweet, sweet boy, I would watch cities burn for you, I would commit genocides for you, I would bathe in blood for you. Taking a bullet, you wouldn’t have to ask. This world means nothing.

Jeezu, Joel, John Wick, etc. So let it be written, so let it be done.

And that is what is scaring your Daddy today. The things I have written. “All These Things That I’ve Done”. It’s not the depth of my love for you. Anyone who knows me knows the lengths I will go to. I love… well, not yet, but I am obsessed with M Anime, B. I am so in love with dying, I’ve read the word necrophilia. I’m talking damn near Tillie Cole’s “Raphael.” And you and your brother have lain in bed with me more than any chick. Do you remember you wanted me to take your Favorite Girl to bed? And Virgil would cry all night if I kicked him out. But last night (sigh), what I wrote triggered a WARNING! Some BS Reading, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 315 ~Love Of B, Virgil~

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So late this evening. The sleep of the dead. How I wished. But no. B and V’s potential stepmom has these yabbos that make me feel like I’ve been “Locked Out of Heaven.” And “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.” But I still miss Braxton. “Love Of B, Virgil”

Tuesday, May 12, 2026

Journey 315 ~Love Of B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than Braxton? More than his little brother Virgil? Sometimes you gotta “Bwitdaba.” The eff!

Okay, in other words, “Fly Me To The Moon,” even if we had to play Squid Game. I’ll take you “to the stars” even if we were on the Titanic. Even in these universes, love:

Breathes deeply and then begins

  1. Mortal Kombat
  2. Bible Black
  3. Soul Calibur
  4. Resident Evil
  5. American Beauty

I would choose my boys, my sons, and any of our two-legged children over you because that’s what a man does. It is the “Human Nature” of a father. What do I know of it?

Honestly, my love, my future is coming on. I should say our future. But I am a man lost in the past. Resurrection, Reanimation, Reincarnation. Because neither of us is very good at, well, Recovery.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

We were arguing about that the other day. You don’t recover, you don’t rehab physically.

A true masochist. And myself? Hell, I like a good spanking, a smack to my face, and “scratches all down my back to keep me right on”. But I’m a bit for mental anguish, love.

Banged by other guys… Not you. Not really. But I do have somewhat of a cuck fetish. Though not in my story… We’ll get to that. But it’s a mock… uh, such and such. It’s role play. It’s two consenting adults playing a really bad, um, sexual encounter. And then there was me, “Dreaming With a Broken Heart” when I was born, when Braxton passed.

And then deciding “If we’re gonna be together or apart.”

That took around five months to resurrect our love. To “Justify My Love”. To dig it back up: the hurt, the pain, and the remains. You’re my Obsession, my love. Completely. With all that I am. And you know your husband. “Great merciful bloodstained gods”.

Seriously, you know me. I’m in love with a dead man. Would that be me? Who knows, my love. But more to the point, I’m in love with a dead dog; he’s a real boy that I put in the dirt—a box on the nightstand. And I want to love you like… who am I, Tillie Cole’s Raphael? Let’s say, like a zombie, I want to “Tear You Part”. Necromancy resurrects you. Be your virus. Love Of B, Virgil

1927 Days Without B III, Day 1368 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 314 ~Abraham Tripped B, Virgil~

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Well, I’ll be sitting here. Working on this beer…I’m not a drinker. Just ask B’s Favorite Girl. Please don’t! I’ve been listening to mobile games, my mutt, my Ma, and some mattress buddies. The noise. The Silent Offering. Abraham Tripped B, Virgil

Monday, May 11, 2026

Journey 314 ~Abraham Tripped B, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? For being a day you didn’t go to “The Bad Place,” it wasn’t.

I keep those days when I would bark loudly, long, and like I was loco. But you would tell people you would rather hear my voice than anyone else’s, because at least my barking helped you out. Every other word, even from the best humans… Um, it has you longing for silence. Not the silence of my absence. No, not ever. Quiet breaths, a heartbeat

Mine. Yes mine. That’s what you’re wishing for the most today. I’m touched, Dad, truly.

“Listen To Your Heart.” My little bro V may not be me, but he knows the truth about us, Dad.

“He Lives In You.” That’s what Virgil would bark. He’s not a talker like me. Or is it like father like son, you’re both waiting.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

For what? Like Abraham, my father is the father of many nations. We are not religious men, my father. The universe for us was us. You would tell me that the world would end in five minutes, and so we didn’t need to worry—my last five minutes with my best friend, who could ask for more. And you gave me that. And then we’d have another and one more, and then what? The silence. You stood there, and it was not the word of God, some far-flung wish, hell for 161 days, it wasn’t even the moans of a woman or you. Eww, Dad!

We both just wanted to know you were still alive, and these days the world has made it abundantly clear.

And you just want to “Make The World Go Away”. No, you wouldn’t go that far, Dad, I know. Not how you and M Anime talk about, going soldier and her Associate persona. You and I both know we could be some cruel mother effers. “Language!” I know, Dad, yup.

You still say it was your RAGE. Rather, your lack thereof that doomed me. Indifference.

Serving to protect me because you didn’t want to feel. That’s not quite right, Daddy.

Honestly, you didn’t want to hear because the RAGE was just that loud—the gnashing of teeth of the damned. And yes, love is louder, but even that is driving you mad—too much noise. Beeps, boops, boobies, but speaking hurts. Abraham Tripped B, Virgil

“Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing how thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.”
― Genesis 22:12

“Their minds were set ablaze.”
― Aeneid

1926 Days Without B III, Day 1367 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 312 ~A Size V, Braxton~

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Braxton and Virgil didn’t get winter coats. I don’t remember the last time I bought clothes. New boots? Long story. And condoms? M Anime is adamant that she wants babies, three to be precise. And Mother’s Day is coming up. A Size V, Braxton

Saturday, May 9, 2026

Journey 312 ~A Size V, Braxton~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So “a king-size tub big enough for ten plus me” is not out of the question.

More or less, Lu. How about average? The cost of living. But the word for today is equal. Or right? Eff, with all the politics these days, they almost drown out cries for my boy.

“First, let me explain that I’m just a black man (a black man).” Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, I am not. Neither am I some “Rockstar”. It’s what they call delusions of grandeur.

Lunalesca, I want more! And it’s like everyone else has it but me. I’m a minority of one, hmm. I wake up every morning, and it’s like I’m already in last place. My alliance has more points, and I’m the village idiot. My girl, B, and V’s potential stepmom has more time and love; Virgil takes up more bed space.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

There’s this suit of armor… “Put on the whole armor of God…” Please! There’s a reason I wear baggy hoodies or the sorcerer’s robes of Shang Tsung in fantasies, Lunalesca.

Because there’s so much less of me, to me, I keep thinking I’ll grow someday, Lunalesca.

Well, more than, my “monster…” My meat is murder if you know what I mean. Yeah, I know, Eww! I’m trying to dial it back. But there “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked” right?

There’s too much of it, Lady Luna. When I was busy trying to beat Braxton to Heaven by starving myself, my “big sister” said it was because I was full of “Real Emotion.” Just full.

And now, like Virgil, I try to shrink myself. Down

Further, further, and further still. Because I don’t fit anywhere. And my how Virgil tries.

But like father, like son. I’m sure if I could understand Virgil the way I understand Braxton, he’d be saying, “I‘ve been ‘watching you, ‘ Dad, ain’t that cool.” Honestly.

Lunalesca, I expect far too much of my second-born. I expect far too much of his potential stepmom, don’t I? And I expect far too much of myself. I see how overwhelmed I am and still. Am I effing Goldilocks? I did not just say that out loud! What I mean is this. Do I want more, all of it, and options? Or am I looking for what fits just right? My junk, eww! My heart. A Size V, Braxton

1924 Days Without B III, Day 1365 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

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Isn’t it sad that to merely exist, one must have purpose? I mean, especially in the USA, FDT. What’s a bed for? Babies. Domestic labor. To play “Whiteout Survival.” How about rock out with my… Uh, my boys still sleep here. “B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.”

Thursday, May 7, 2026

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

1922 Days Without B III, Day 1363 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day… Your Dad? Well, I wasn’t much of a student. Do you remember that?

Was I still in college… AHEM, junior college, when you made your way here? You definitely weren’t here for high school. You and I would have died a lot sooner fighting my Old Man. Back when I was praying for a D in summer school. No, not like that, B.

Eww. Nothing against the LGBTQIA+ community, Braxton. We’re not MAGA. FDT! B, that was your last gift to me… Well, not really. But you died Sunday, January 31, 2021, so you saw me to the end of that A-hole’s first term. And your bro… Virgil, having no balls isn’t my fault. He lost those before I welcomed him here. But having no guts at all?

Like HOME, I treat COURAGE like it’s a dirty word.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Beatrice Prior, aka Tris, aka Shailene Woodley is one (b) I would have welcomed to bed, Little B. But she was with some Cracker Hat back then. Not that I stood a chance, my B.

But speaking of someone who would have me “Smokin Out The Window,” that’s part of the reason I’m late talking to you today. Between looking through the Magic Glasses and talking to your potential stepmom, “M Anime,” I’ve come to a realization. Had an epiphany. Yeah, that sounds a bit more religious. Anyway, with the story I’ve been “writing,” yeah, right. Every woman who joins the harem is a part of me, I eff over.

Literally B. And isn’t “Ironic”? When you ‘left’, I was celibate for 161 days. Right…

One good look at Chloë Grace Moretz rubbing her thigh, and I broke. Daddy’s weak.

Your Dad is also quite dumb. Please, I’m STUPID AF, and I know you don’t like me talking like this. I didn’t take my afternoon nap. I was up at 10. But the Magic Glasses:

• M Anime = Heart & Future (emotional + creative)
• Kyouko = Momentum & Desire (raw fun and drive)
• Lily = Past & Mourning (sacred grief turned into offering)
• Cassandra = Fire & Youth (passionate, competitive energy)
• Sophitia = Stability & Motherhood (mature, nurturing strength)

They don’t see Skye clearly. Not yet. In a world, you still exist. In a place I want to be in.

“Days Gone”? Been watching that. I, B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 308 ~Better B Running Virgil~

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Last week I was tired. This week? Finding more reasons to be tired. Running on Empty in more ways than one. Eww! V needs food in B’s bowl, and my girl, who’s saying I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl. And who is Skye Matthews? “Better B Running Virgil”

Tuesday, May 5, 2026

Journey 308 ~Better B Running Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? That’s more than enough to get you to run away. Obsession? Funds, Fur, Future Wife…

As the song goes, “It keeps you running, oh it keeps you running.” FEAR, beloved.

Honestly, I would like to consider myself courageous. Hell! I would take being a man of leisure. But even “Here and Now,” as “I promise to love faithfully.” My love, I do that with every breath that I take. But every one of them is laced with FEAR, like other drugs laced with Fentanyl. Wow, that’s dark. But today is dark. Today I’m afraid. Always…

Running. Because I promised myself I would not fail again. Fail to love? Where’s Virgil?

Better question. Where’s Braxton? And here’s a random question. Who is Skye Matthews, hmm? A girl who couldn’t run. But more on her in due time. What time is it?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Way past time for us to be talking when we could be doing much more interesting things, my love. If I must be afraid, let it be that our children come walking into this room. Seriously, two-leggeds, four-leggeds, and all. I’m not just a father, a friend, a guy thinking “I Wanna Eff You.” I ain’t Akon, but that’s definitely in the bedroom playlist, babydoll.

Forgetting how crazy, how obsessed I get over you. Because when’s the last time you saw me chase a dollar? And again, I’m not hugging my doggie right now. And why is that, my love? I can’t run with that little ball of fluff in my arms. But would I leave him, our house, you, my heavenly angel? Not ever.

Not if I can help it. Not if leaving would hurt you more than staying. And why would I leave? Skye Matthews? Please, your husband writes HaremLit. Uh, when I’m not writing about my boys, my latest bad thing, or some boobies. Specifically yours. However…

“Magic Glasses” are a thing, and that is what I’m afraid of, like everyone, beloved.

Obsessed over seeing my firstborn, my boy, my Braxton, each and every day. So much so that “I created” another world, a nether realm, an Everworld. I’m not K.A. Applegate.

What I am is a scared man thinking about “All These Things That I’ve Done”. They keep running through my mind. And “Hanging By A Moment” here with you seems impossible. Better B Running Virgil

1920 Days Without B III, Day 1361 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 307 ~Are B’s Comfortable, Virgil~

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Comfortable, you’re gonna be Comfortable. That’s for my boys, B and V. Myself? I’m a comfy, cozy, freaking coward. Is that why I was comfortable enough to listen to my motivations at the Day Job? Not my comfort zone. Are B’s Comfortable, Virgil?

Monday, May 4, 2026

Journey 307 ~Are B’s Comfortable, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Judging by the time… yes and no, but you’ll “Die Another Day,” Daddy.

Not today, and you know why. May the Fourth be with you, my father, my master. Is that another reason I became one with the force? You had to save my little bro, 2-V, Dad.

Allow me to bark my best Yoda impression: “Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice.” We were/are a Sith household, Dad. I’m more than comfortable saying that. Whether it be at the foot of your bed, on a cloud somewhere, the Rainbow Bridge, I think we both prefer the Rainbow Road or some garden bed treats surrounding us. Let’s just say I’m comfortable wherever you are, Daddy. You’re alive.

However, Dad, are you comfortable? Are you able to rest? Will you ever find peace?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Okay, I know that’s too much to ask for. You were willing to die for me. With Virgil, even now it’s “Later V, Later Virgil.” You care for him, you would die for him. And don’t listen to those people on that little glow box of yours. You haven’t harmed a hair on 2-V’s head.

And then there’s me and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Still potential, not exactly future yet. Yeah, I remember Dad. Less die and more I will “Dive For You” right.

However, I know how you feel about her, Daddy. You’re comfortable. And those yabbos of hers… Yeah, Dad, I’m jealous. And barking of which, talk to my Favorite Girl, why don’t you? I mean, it’s Star Wars Day if anything.

And you and I are comfortable letting our geek flag fly. Or M Anime’s nerd flag. I swear I’ve noticed Dad, along with the Magic Glasses, the woman has the body of a goddess and a brain just as fine. And you’re comfortable with her? Listen to me talking about the ladies when you know Greta made me very uncomfortable. Greta was a “bit*h” literally.

Seriously Dad. But again, there was my Favorite Girl, there was Special K. Others, Daddy?

You were comfortable with me. More so that you are with Virgil. Even by yourself.

Honestly, you seek out more. More women, more worries, even a way to win. Because Dad, you wanted my comfort. And you want to be alive! Are B’s Comfortable, Virgil?

“However miserable my life was, I wasn’t ready for it to be over, yet.”
The HUNGER Collection ― Kelli Wolfe

“She nourishes the wound with her lifeblood, weakened by hidden fire.”
― from The Aeneid

1919 Days Without B III, Day 1360 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 305 ~Oh, B Hive Virgil~

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Idle hands are the Devil’s playthings, so I try to stay productive; I try not to play in my pants; I try not to make a peep. But there’s a dog who needs me, a damsel in distress, and I‘m a mourning dog dad. I’m busy as a bee here. “Oh, B Hive Virgil”

Saturday, May 2, 2026

Journey 305 ~Oh, B Hive Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Someone should do the world a service. But what do I know about submarines or healthcare?

And I’m not STUPID enough to say such and such about that A-hole in the White House, my dear Luna. FDT! Hell, eff the whole world today. But where else is there, I ask, Lu?

Sitting in the car today being honked at by some a-hole at the bank, do you know what I was thinking? Besides, I’m not a billionaire. All I was thinking… “I want to go home.”

Where is that Lady Lunalesca? THEY say that home is where the heart is… Braxton. Honestly, “Days Go By” still, I think, why not? Virgil? Does he feel at home yet? One of the things I bother to clean these days. He crapped his bed. Flies over Bees. “Sh*t, honey!”

Things I should have said…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Yesterday… Things you can say about your dog and your girlfriend. M Anime? Her story

It ain’t my right to tell. But my woman is having a hard time right now, and I can’t be there for her. At least not physically. Mentally? How long was I up last night talking to Lady Sophia because I’m a man who “loves” his woman? Not yet. But I care for her. True.

Enough to behave myself? Her first, LOL! I hope she never changes. She is my boys’ potential stepmom. And she wants a place in my bed, a baby in her tummy, and a rock on her finger—blood, sweat, and tears. There was plenty of that yesterday. A Man Provides.

Home, House, and Hive. Busy?

My head is buzzing. “Make The World Go Away.” If that wasn’t me this morning.

Lunalesca, how is it that I am so overwhelmed, and at the same time, I want everything? It’s like that movie, Blindness (2008). I can see everything, but I’m a slave to the blind. Eff!

How about the woman from Chis Dietzel’s “The Hauntings of Playing God”? It’s far too late to save souls in this place. To save time for sleep. Um, to stroke my c*ck. Oh, do behave.

Trust me, I’m trying. How many times have I seen M Anime’s yabbos today? Glorious!
But I’m trying to save babes, I’ve created via the Magic Glasses. Bucks? My boy?

Lunalesca, Virgil, is in Braxton’s room. Oh, B Hive Virgil.

1917 Days Without B III, Day 1358 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

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I taught my boys to be gentlemen when it came to the ladies. And Braxton knows there were all kinds of stories I couldn’t read to them. B III loves his Favorite Girl. And 2-V? He’s scared of everybody. And I’m an open book. “B Tailing Secrets Virgil”

Thursday, April 30. 2026

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

1915 Days Without B III, Day 1356 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If only you could talk, hmm… Please. I know your language like I know my…

Nevermind… The point is, I could hear you then. I can hear you now. Listening…

Honestly, that’s my problem. Communication. Where was the voice to say, “I have a bad feeling about this?” Star Wars was 1977… Yay, I’m younger than Star Wars, Baby B.

However, not by very much. Is that why I’m hard of hearing? I’m selective, which makes me more of a jerk. I heard what you were saying, and I couldn’t be bothered—my rage, B.

Smoke was coming out of my ears, and I didn’t want to take it out on you. Then explain why your little brother is asleep on the floor instead of next to me. I’m not mad at Virgil, Braxton. Less horny? Bible Black, my harem.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’ll always listen to my “boner…” Seriously, did your father just become a frat bro?!

Goodness no! Though I’ll always be your brother in arms, legs, uh, paws, whatever B.

Like father, like son. Do you remember when I had to give you “The Talk?” When your favorite girl comes to visit. You didn’t keep secrets from her, I know that B. You would show her too much. Again, like father, like son. We communicate, we confide, and we gain the consent of the ladies. Even though sometimes the answer is no. We hear it.

Acceptance is a whole other thing entirely. I’ve made it no secret that I will never accept you being gone. Would I be better off? Billy Bob Thornton said this:

“There’s a melancholy in me that never goes away. I’m 50 percent happy and 50 percent sad at any given moment. … I don’t want to forget my brother. I don’t want to forget what it felt like when he died, because he deserves that — that’s how important he was to me. So, if I have to suffer and I have to be sad for the rest of my life, and if I have to be lonely without him… then that’s the way I honor him.” — By Billy Bob Thornton.

And don’t we have a rule about listening to white men… Effing Supreme Court! Eff!

Anyway, speaking of things I don’t want to hear. I was working with the “Magic Glasses” the other day, and it said that I got too sexual even for it. My harem for healing, Braxton.

MAGIC GLASSES Notes: Journey 302 B Slaving Away, Virgil (Wednesday, April 29, 2026)

[This is one of the most explicit fantasy prompts yet — shifting from the more “romantic” or “devotional” rituals to raw group sensuality, with the acolytes as aroused spectators.”

As real-world pressures mount — financial shame (“not economically viable”), creative frustration, physical/mental exhaustion, and the long grief over Braxton — the fantasy world becomes increasingly sexual and explicit.

Earlier Journeys often used the temple for protection, healing, and ritual renewal (hot spring, dawn prayer, Second Howl).

Recent entries (298–302) shift toward raw group sensuality, voyeurism (acolytes watching), and intense physical release.

This suggests the fantasy is no longer just about comfort or legacy — it has become a pressure-release valve. When the weight of reality feels unbearable (“I’m so effing TIRED”), the mind turns to intense sexual fantasy as a way to temporarily escape the noise, shame, and grief.
The Magic Glasses

This mirrors your real longing for a large, loving family with M Anime while simultaneously using sexual fantasy as a substitute when that future feels distant or impossible.

The increased explicitness in the prompts (bulges under sheets, acolytes touching themselves, group acts) suggests the escape is becoming more intense because the underlying pain is also intensifying.

The explicitness is not “just horniness” — it’s a symptom of deeper exhaustion and a craving for relief, validation, and temporary peace.

Bottom line:
The more explicit the temple scenes become, the louder your real-world exhaustion, grief, and sense of stagnation are crying out for relief. The harem and acolytes rushing to pleasure and comfort the Sorcerer is your mind’s way of saying: “I need to be cared for. I need to feel wanted. I need a break from carrying everything alone.”

Would you like me to explore or suggest how the temple rituals might evolve to address this emotional state more constructively?]

It’s like one of those books I couldn’t read to you while you were here. I was still into Eric Vall’s “Succubus Lord” series. Friday, January 29, 2021 Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~ I’ll give that to the Magic Glasses too and see what it thinks. Sunday Bloody Sunday, you were gone. But there has to be a better way than some woman’s ass or mine getting squeezed by her. B Tailing Secrets Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 301 ~Love To B Virgil~

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So what’s this about being tired? An actual family of my own… Yet. I swear, if M Anime and I ever had a son, I’m naming him after my furry firstborn, “Braxton.” And what if we had more? Virgil? What about writing? Still hate myself. Love To B Virgil.

Tuesday, April 28, 2026

Journey 301 ~Love To B Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I won’t ever say, I can’t, I won’t, or I shouldn’t. I do. That day…

I do. I will… I remember that day. I remember the day our children were born. I remember the day you became mine (in the biblical sense). But I also remember the worst day of my entire life. The day I was born, “Emergence Day,” E-Day. Or is it Braxton…

The day my firstborn son died. Sunday, January 31, 2021, somewhere between 3:30 and 4:00 PM. And lest I forget the day you walked out of my life, Sunday, August 24, 2025, around 6:00 AM. But hey, you came back. And I seem to have the same tendency, my love.

I keep coming back. Is that a bad thing? When I’m so TIRED. Eff me, I am so effing TIRED!

What day is it, baby?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“As Long As You Love Me,” it “Don’t Matter.” Like who I like more, The Backstreet Boys or NSYNC. That I’m a black man getting “Locked Up,” like Akon. God/B I hope not, my love. Or what song will I play for you next as I try to keep myself awake? Yes, I am TIRED!

But never too TIRED to ask you to “Break Me Off.” “Men of Vizion,” like me. “Magic Glasses” and all. If I haven’t said it enough, I am TIRED, which is why I’m choosing music.

I don’t know how I’m keeping my eyes open right now. Because when I close them, I see Braxton. I blink and see creation. And I hate seeing myself, but love seeing you—our kids.

And yes, V is included in that. My boys were/are SeeDs. I mean that both in love’s garden, in my heart… and Final Fantasy VIII. Yes, my love, you married a gamer, you know it. And through those seeds and some watering from you… Or maybe that’s my job, considering all the children running around, ha-ha. Anyway, what is the point of today, my love? Other than that, I love the woman I married. The woman who multiplied my love, who begged for my seed… Did I say that out loud? It’s that I became so many things in love’s name. But the Man In The Mirror, thank you Michael Jackson, hates being himself, the one. I look at Virgil Vivi… Love To B Virgil

1913 Days Without B III, Day 1354 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will