Gospel 154 ~For Will, The Holidays~

This time last week, I was scared to death of going into the “Day Job.” Now I feel the whole month of December is going to be that fear mixed with everything. Yet today, I started a Christmas book on top of being worried about… For Will, The Holidays

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Gospel 154 ~For Will, The Holidays~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. This means during the season of giving, I should be out somewhere. How long did it take me to get from the bed to the loveseat in the den? Inspector Echo, I said I would get to bed before midnight? Well, that was a “damn” lie. Okay, take a breath, remember gratitude. As with most days, I’m discombobulated, even more so today, but at least I remembered it’s Wednesday, so small favors. I saved my Dæmon from getting his nail caught in his collar… Yes, a trip for grooming is coming.

It’s not like my Imp has any place to show off, though. As for me, I want to go back to bed and start reading my next Eric Vall novel. However, it is December. I must keep reminding myself of the time today. So here I have a bit of a confession. I HATE CHRISTMAS.

Now that seems harsh, and again, I should be grateful. Not stealing Lady Sophia’s shine, but I’m glad that the sequel to that K Webster novel I read isn’t out. I lack the guts to go back to A.J. Markam titles. I’m heavy into Eric Vall’s books, my absolute favorites. Echo, what does this have to do with me hating the holidays? As a matter of fact, my form of celebrating is reading Christmas stories… with other elements mixed in. Currently, I’m reading something from Abby Knox. But yeah, the 4th circle of Hell SIGH.

When I was a child Inspector Echo, I never imagined life would turn out like this. I would help my mother trim the tree. My “father” and I would decorate the house. I would wake my sister up at 6:00 AM. Hell, I was unboxing my N64 before Christmas… sorry. Nowadays, Scrooge, the Grinch, I’ve never seen Krampus, but I want to subscribe to its newsletter. Let’s say, I understand. I’m trying Echo, I am.

Again I read Christmas books, I have a Spotify holiday playlist. They’re a few Christmas classics I like. Still nothing. Of course, I’ll be talking more about this, but today it’s been a rush of things. NaNoWriMo ended, and I hate my story. The Dæmon is getting older, and I’m worried. Grammarly hit me hard. Yeah, pardon my language but eff you, Grammarly. Thanksgiving leftovers.

Most wonderful time, Bah Humbug, sorry. For Will, The Holidays.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 324 ~Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims~

Maybe I won’t be able to find something for a customer. It could be wearing my bandanna as a mask because I was so late to the party, not fearing the apocalypse. Hell, it might be this conversation. Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims.

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Log 324 ~Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I am finding it hard to stay positive. Hell, I have another book idea? If I were to write down everything that humiliates, embarrasses, and shames me, SIGH. Now that would be over Fifty-Thousand words. Today I don’t intend to go so far, but the Day Job is calling, so I’ll be in no mood to write. You know Inspector Echo, I would make a “decent” masochist, seeing as how I want the pain. Oh, and sex isn’t something I’m ashamed of, for the most part, at least, um yeah?

Anyway took a look at my schedule for the Day Job, I’m expecting “humiliations galore.” Of course, I know I don’t have to. I could walk in, and my temperature could spike over 100° F.

I’m not sick but angry, expecting embarrassment, hiding my real work. Speaking of which while my real life sucks. Yes, I said it, SUCKS, another one of my most hated words. Only because people took it from me, you know. Back to my point, what about The Eve of a Cherry or GULP? I let people read my stories and what happens, hmm. Dead in the Water as the song goes, which should cool me off. Yes, I like Ellie Goulding and Abba. I have a dedicated playlist that sings of my shame. Not Ellie Goulding but others. Yesterday though, I was reading over GULP… well, damn you Grammarly app.

Will’s Hated Words:

  1. Skeevy
  2. Stupid
  3. Merge
  4. Happy
  5. Family-Friendly
  6. Just Kidding
  7. Tease
  8. Freak
  9. Lazy
  10. Sucks

It’s my fault too, though, for wasting so much time. Here it is May, and I should have long ago published. No, today I got so caught up thinking about the Day Job I had to take a nap. Now my whole schedule is thrown off. Showering at the whims of My Dæmon. Using him as an excuse, yeah, I should be ashamed. What about the new game I’m playing? Yes, Inspector Echo, I’m still all about Call me a Legend. Life imitating art, living in the plague era, chasing the girlies, and I’m not the best father I can be. How about being a friend? I’ve barely talked to Indiana Gone. I don’t know what M Anime is up to. Well, I did hear from Whisper Girl, and what about Cherry, yeah my novel.

I’m sorry, Inspector Echo, for expecting the worst. For sometimes even rooting for the Coronavirus. Living Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 063 ~Winning Isn’t Fighting Our Hate~

I’m against the NRA, but for background checks; military spending is crazy, but I wouldn’t mind building an armory; not one for Jesus, yet the dead will walk the Earth one day. Winning Isn’t Fighting Our Hate but waiting to see what we love the most.

Monday, September 2, 2019

Log 063 ~Winning Isn’t Fighting Our Hate~

One-Hundredth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, and that’s good because I need plenty of weapons. It’s in the life goals list to build an armory. Indiana Gone would tell you I’m a true believer in the coming zombie apocalypse. Do you think I’ll have time to “define” all my rules before then? Hell Madam Justice what about counting up all my blessings? Seeing as how I’m on Writing Reason 343 I’ll need a new list soon. If I counted up everything I hate, I would never stop. What about everything that tempts me. Today’s spanky is quite small, Jessica Nigri and Katelyn Nacon, blonde, brunette.

Now some might ask me why I mention black women rarely, if at all. It’s the white women who are creeped out the fastest and block me fast, I have seen. I love my mom, and my sister is alright. One day I’ll go all into it, but in truth, black women exhaust me Madam Justice. All women can tire a man, but first, there are those that I chase. Some get me high but require a week or so of rehab. Some to be sure will look for a fight. Finally, the last of them make me run. Tell me which is worse hate or indifference? At the moment, ironically, I hate indifference. Take for example, the NO FAP Challenge. Fighting against my nature sucks but ignoring it daily. You wonder why I am so exhausted. How do “THEY” say hurry up and wait.

Sounds like an erotica novel, waiting for Brandt and Harper to fall in love. Speaking of love, isn’t that me and writing. Writing, Women, and Wealth; I wrote a whole thing yesterday trying to get women naked with wealth. For those of you keeping score $1,029.70 and that’s not counting the bank. Doesn’t sound like one million? A couple thousand more there, and a few thousand more on my RD investment. One of the reasons I’m not afraid of poverty or plan to make money on tits. Sorry to sound crass but being horny can be a bitch (LANGUAGE). Let me talk about something I hate. There’s Failure, Anxiety, Terror, Hate, Error, Revulsion. Again if you’re keeping track that spells FATHER, talk about ideas. Also, you have to excuse me for watching a bit of Divergent this morning Madam Justice.

You either embrace or ignore, Winning Isn’t Fighting Our Hate.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 234 ~Up, Up, Up, Will~

I wish I could stay up on one subject, in particular, if I’m going to be awake then honestly I should stay that way but why is the climb down from my bed harder than rising anywhere else? Up, Up, Up, Will

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Episode 234 ~Up, Up, Up, Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, join a church, cult, or a coven; you see even that turns me on. When I was young, I also wrote a poem called “Sunday School Girls.” Some months back I read The Cloister Trilogy by Celia Aaron and as far as covens, sigh European Modeling.

Surprising, that’s not what made me blow my wad or several, and you’ll have to forgive me Inspector Echo. It’s only 5:30 in the morning, so I’ll probably be a lot more “candid” attempting to stay awake and keep it in my pants. My first three sins, being honest, hung, and keeping my head up, both little and big. So I guess you already know I won’t be accomplishing my six impossible things, again this week. What week was it that I had my positive streak? The fact that I haven’t whipped somebody’s ass “heh” this week is good enough.

I can’t even look at them, that’s my fourth sin, at the day job there is nothing but rage and people telling me to keep my head up. Truthfully Inspector Echo, I don’t need any more people to make me so angry but whose fault is that? Yes, there is fear as well, I do not deny it; how I “try” to keep my eyes up. I don’t know if it’s the monster in my brain, my mouth, or I’m making a grave with my gaze drilling a hole in the floor. I could talk about feeling as though the world is on my shoulders. These hands as though every finger has a weight attached, or how fat my pockets are getting; that’s a laugh.

My friend “Cherry” has nice lips, it’s one of her best features. Still, she also once teased with her cleavage, “boobies” or would you prefer “tits?” I’m wondering if that’s a language violation? To me the word breast is dull, and I’ve seen Indiana Gone, Okay, the MILF, Court, and how many did I pay peeking? Like something out of Detroit: Become Human, does that count as a fifth sin? I mean models get paid. I still have a wardrobe for a submissive, sex toys. Not to mention still paying off something as Mr. Dink would put it “very expensive.” So want to know how to generate a million dollars, find a way to make other guys pay. Only for this morning, the idea is forgiveness. For liking what I like sigh, breaking No FAP, making life HARD. Keeping my eyes to the ground, and being a few steps down from a “John.” Take a look at my character fodder for The Logos Girls novel.

Forgive me Inspector Echo, but I don’t think God or anyone in the world is suggesting Up, Up, Up, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 160 ~Love, A Medicinal Will~

A choice, live your life with hate or love and embrace death, I’ve seen it recently “Me Before You” “A Million Little Things” and speaking of little things, my little boy won’t take his tiny pills, and my heart is too big. Love, A Medicinal Will

Saturday, December 8, 2018

Episode 160 ~Love, A Medicinal Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, do something like “Are You The One,” I’m sure shows like The Bachelor/Bachelorette make a lot of coins or love anything besides people and animals, that is if you don’t plan on keeping the money. Love is priceless, love is infinite, and love is broke because with life too many things can go wrong and maybe hearts have to be empty so that you can fill them with, well whatever, to make room how you can.

Does size matter; I mean that in a purely non-sexual way since I broke my NoFap streak yet again because of two dark haired MILFs and two blonde actresses; yeah when the bed is empty, and I’m pushing nightmares aside, something has to fill the void. Plates get larger since I’m not sharing. Nevermind the fact my belly seems that much more empty today. I don’t feel like eating as I’m full of such emotions, hell maybe I’m the one in need of medication. B III sigh his heart is becoming too much for his little body, but his big mouth won’t let him swallow the tiniest of pills he needs, because my love can’t save him, love is eternal.

Hate doesn’t have to be, though I have views on that as well, it can be like the nightmares I’ve been having about my pest problem, I dreamt that I was holding the door closed and rats, snakes, even alligators, were trying to get through, along with the ants and other creepy crawlers. It’s that rage that builds up inside me that makes me feel like I’m going to explode and maybe I can understand why guys try to get bigger or at least carry more muscle. When I’m writing, fifty-thousand words seems like a daunting task, but then they don’t seem to be enough, I have so much more darkness, that must know oblivion.

The difference between love and hate, one makes you bigger to encompass more, the other makes you smaller, and there never is enough room, it’s a thin line when it comes to B III, hating what he’s doing now has him locked up, because I won’t have this house empty without love. Is it the same in BDSM I wonder, bondage, focusing pain and pleasure because I might lose myself to something as big as love… that’s a big pill to swallow am I right Luna; Love, A Medicinal Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 102 ~And Find Will’s Remote~

Fire burns until there is nothing left and since there aren’t kisses coming in my direction or candles igniting, these flames are left to burn; no I’m not carrying the fire I’m being engulfed by a worse desire. “And Find Will’s Remote”

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Episode 102 ~And Find Will’s Remote~


Come In Dirty Diana,
How to make One Million Dollars, well I don’t spend any on BDSM leather, and other than condoms I don’t know much about latex, but before I even knew what it meant being “dominant,” I learned one word… CONTROL. When I was young, hell even today, I have issues with anger, now to me RAGE equals ENERGY, and since violence gets frowned upon and I can’t sleep how do I expend it, those days I cleaned.

I can feel your anger. It gives you focus… makes you stronger. ― Supreme Chancellor, Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)

It was all I had Dirty Diana, but if I could have a clean environment, it would clear my mind, I suppose it was a form of control, and in my day to day life I have so little of that but the ability to focus… I let go of everything, fear, hatred, this rage that has engulfed me except I don’t have anything to tidy here and at work, that’s the problem; sex and violence, you see with sex I want complete control, I may be “kinky” according to some women, okay, but I maintain control because there’s life. With fury at another man I don’t give a fuck; with sex and my enjoyment of sadism, hurting a lady in certain ways is pleasurable to a degree but with violence against the men that have wronged me, there’s no pleasure, there’s madness, a beast and what he wants, I cannot speak, I mean honestly.

Now I’m not having sex with the ladies, and I’m forbidden to harm the “gentlemen” (those bastards) so no wonder the beast is at the gates, and the rage is overflowing, and that’s making me even madder because I’m being told to “be myself” again. Yes, they would make me a vagrant with no place, less verbose in my language, the victim. Not sounding very sexy I know and yes I’m repeating myself, but it’s one of the reasons I’m in the lifestyle, to make someone feel as though they have a purpose and at the same time powerless, and to have a peek at the real them. Death is but a parody of life, I can get the thrill in my rage against a bully but what is the opposite of it, calm, clarity, contentment but that requires containment.

Graves can do that, so can a girl’s clothes if you tie her up in them, some might even put their faith in God but I’ve got nothing but Rage and Pain, and the thing about that is, pain can be shared and can be good in some ways. When you ignite that hurt though; when you make someone fear and hate, you can’t control them, and for damn sure you’re not in control of yourself, I must manage the beast, And Find Will’s Remote.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 078 ~Find People Worth Suffering For~

Today’s word is ow, I should probably say sin, sacrifice, and suffering but yes pain encompasses all that, and I’m not suffering for anyone but me and who the Hell am I honestly? Find People Worth Suffering For

Monday, September 17, 2018

Episode 078 ~Find People Worth Suffering For~

Fiftieth Rule Madam Justice

How to make One Million Dollars, or is he, she, or it worth that much honestly but haven’t we already covered my little boy with Rule Twenty-Four Be Who My Dog Deserves, which was also Lesson 261 I’m just saying.

Now sure I want plenty of things and there was a time I spent afternoons at the track for horse racing, and then I fell into Blackjack, Poker is a bit more complicated but speaking of which I’m sure I’ve told you about the Blackjack Scale I use when it comes to people… Anyway this morning I was thinking about The Purge and The V Games from “Ven” by Ker Dukey and K Webster, and it’s a tossup between what I would do to protect another person over what I would do for let’s say revenge. Either way, people bring about sin, sacrifice, and yes suffering and while I would go through Hell for a laugh what would I do for another’s happiness, in the end, be the joke *sigh*?

I look back at some of my poetry, and I can see that while in one way I so wish to honor women, I do the exact opposite, but still, those words were hours off my life, things better left unsaid perhaps but women are always talking about a man’s time. Hell Madam Justice, the time I have spent doing things this morning, I’m not proud of, but like most of my gender I am an idiot and believe you me every day I’m Hustlin’. Nah the keyword is suffering.

So what makes a person worth suffering for; as I clued in “Indiana Gone” a friend is a girl you haven’t slept with yet or a guy willing to throw punches in your defense and as always I’ve avoided doing any fighting. Hatred is suffering, but so is love, so the real question is which hurts more, and I answer love but what person do I love, does need even count, I hope not. If I’m breaking this rule by not searching for somebody to like, is there anyone out there looking for me, and I’m sure the Christians would say Jesus, but you do know you’re talking to someone skilled in all manners of Torture Methodology Dear Madam Justice.

Of course, I have no problem finding people to hate, but that fire, while it burns, is but a candle for today because what will I be doing after this… suffering still especially if I plan on going to the movies tonight; what might happen, Find People Worth Suffering For

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 073 ~Rage Against The Will~

This song says “love is the answer” but that will be true when there’s no one left to hate and on the day to day I find only hatred and no I ain’t scared of no sheet, no confederate flag, or swastika, no my enemy is my own. Rage Against The Will

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Episode 073 ~Rage Against The Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
Give Me One Reason not to because I have said before like the “Lord Of War” you can’t fight your biology; to think last week it was a crime that scared me to death and this week it’s a crime of death, and I am not afraid. Maybe I should be but I can’t, and that’s my first sin, the fact that I want this more than anything, my blood to boil, to burn, and indeed want to breathe, believe in RAGE.

I feel it
Can’t help it
It burns
Through my heart
And my soul

Consumes me
Every look
Every smile
I want it done
Don’t fall

The pain
I must be
Theirs or mine
Don’t care

Such a
Misery (the poem RAGE)

Like sex it’s a biological imperative and especially in America a more socially acceptable one, nearly once a week it overcomes someone for one reason or another so what is that for me, you want to know, do you honestly, because none of them do. Every work day I have people coming up to me asking how I’m doing but today there was nothing, maybe they could sense it, I know I still do, and like sex, I know neither, sin, satiation, or satisfaction. So why do I feel this way… some say laughter is one great medicine and no I won’t sit here and say don’t laugh, hell Inspector Echo it’s my best form of camouflage, I type out LOL a dozen times minimum, I might indeed mean it, I even call myself Le Marquis De Joker on occasion…

And I would call it a plague
how this fever infects
me, I sweat

summoning up the blood
which can never assuage
the disgust, the dirt, my name is mud.

Better though, tears for fears,
than this need to purge, to clear.
I lock the monster in its cage

the white walls of the page.
A mad world of ink,
kink, mystique, doublethink

Don’t rage, rage (the poem Vial Rage)

“Oh yeah! I love jokes! I love all kinds of jokes. But you know what I don’t like? I don’t like people trying to kill me, hurting my family and my friends, and destroying the whole world as I know it. That just doesn’t sit well with me.” Toys (1992)

“If you ever loved me, don’t rob me of my hate. It’s all I have.” The Count of Monte Cristo

My second crime today is the fact that I have let this go on for too damn long, in the name of getting along, of professionalism, of attempting to be a decent human being, see I learned something today, these aren’t people I’m dealing with now. I swear I would make a great Neo-Nazi or KKK member because I was ready to scream… okay speaking of crimes, that might account for hate speech and nobody reads this anyway but again being reasonable. Lastly, when did this start, you know Inspector Echo I have no problem giving orders, but I am not an ignorant leader, and if there is one thing in this great big world I can’t stand it’s looking, feeling, and knowing, I’m STUPID.

Stupidity my greatest sin of all, so no Inspector Echo you don’t have to forgive me for my rage, no I’ll happily go to Hell for that, but I apologize for the time, for wanting these motherfucking moronic assholes to die (nothing racial there right) and for being so stupid, I Rage Against The Will.

“Dear Lord, Please forgive us for all the sins we have brought upon us. And look down upon us with forgiveness for the sins we will have in the future. I know you understand that niggas ain’t perfect, but we try lord. We try to keep our heads up in bad times. This is a bad time, show us the way. And if you can’t show us the way, then forgive us for being lost.” Sweet Pea, Baby Boy (2001)

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 071 ~Everyone Will Hurt You Someday~

I don’t want to hurt you, but everyone makes it so damn tempting that it’s hard not to want to partake, why can’t Trump sign off The Purge, considering everything else he does but no I suffer in silence? Everyone Will Hurt You Someday.

Monday, September 10, 2018

Episode 071 ~Everyone Will Hurt You Someday~

Forty-Ninth Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason to deny this, people are a pain, so is life and love, and I don’t mean to sound so bitter right out the gate but honestly, the fact that I’m not in jail (for putting someone in the morgue this time) is truly beyond me. So who hurt me today; Madam Justice I’m a believer in “Black Lives Matter,” but there are reasons I don’t date black women, why I don’t have any guy friends besides the dog, black people *sigh*.

“You mock my pain.”

“Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” ― The Princess Bride (1987)

I told “Indiana Gone” today that if I were a white man after today’s events at my day job, well then give me a polo shirt and a Tiki Torch and I would be out there marching I mean dammit don’t we all have the right to live? Maybe it’s the fact that these people aren’t worth suffering for and that’s all there would be, in fear, in rage, and most of all in truth and that’s what hurts most of all. My entire life is spent suffering for others, and then when it comes to love well that makes everything seem pale in comparison, it makes it worthwhile and while I love my boy like pancakes this pain I have from these fucking people…

“truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” Bob Marley

Rule 49 is, of course, a two-part rule, but to know that people will hurt you, to understand it as if people have ever attempted to appreciate me; you know I always say someday, but here I am hurt today, humiliated, hate personified by the very race that cries justice. No Madam Justice that’s what I demand, a white co-worker asked me a week ago ‘can black people be racists” and I told him “of course” but compared to his race it’s a drop in the bucket but the thing is in my thirty-four years of life I have more reason to hate black people than white. I’ve been spit on once, fired probably twice but by my people, terrorized, beat up, rejected, abused, and nearly killed and am I a racists Madam Justice, or sexist for that matter, women?

“… but the truth is that I dislike most men as much as I dislike women. If anything, I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.”
― Andrew Davidson, The Gargoyle (Goodreads)

I’m a sadist Madam Justice, though I should probably save that for Inspector Echo and Dirty Diana only it’s a little bit funny that when I do hurt people, it’s those I have no beef with, and I never harm animals, okay I smash bugs, nobody’s perfect. I’m scared that one day I will find someone who loves me and I’ll want to put them through Hell if only to understand why but these people today… I hate them so much that they ain’t worth my time to hurt but Everyone Will Hurt You Someday.

“From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought of you. And now that I’m with you again… I’m in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you- I can’t breath. I’m haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating… hoping that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me… what can I do?- I will do anything you ask.”

“… if you are suffering as much as I am, PLEASE, tell me.” ― Anakin Skywalker

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 363 ~I Hate This Part~

A few hours to kill, not to mention some characters, a blank screen, okay so write, only I wish that it would work that way and even then I wouldn’t be able to edit to save my life I bet. I Hate This Part.

Friday, June 29, 2018

Lesson 363 ~I Hate This Part~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Can You Love Me Again, that’s only one of the parts I hate, the waiting, craving, and even with all that not saying things right or wasting more time for mediocre work which I would never know because of editing… I saw last night that I am ill prepared for another stint of NaNoWriMo and then again I’m going to give it a real “can do”; isn’t that another thing hating a word like try, “interesting,” and stupid, still irked by that.

“Yes, no, maybe
I don’t know
Can you repeat the question?”
― Boss Of Me

What about “miracle” that’s a word that isn’t going to happen for me, no I take that back, if anything people have only been spelling the word wrong, you want a miracle, no Lady Sophia you want to work. Regret is another nasty word because that’s something else I’ve been feeling, I’ve had a whole year, and what do I have to show for it, a blog, two books maybe three if you count the poetry hell perhaps even four if you count every blog post. So which is harder, waiting for PCH and yes I’m ashamed to admit I checked them out today, they aren’t coming here, what about waiting for inspiration which I’ve been thinking about, or I could be looking up how you know you’ve got bit by something, me, the dog?

How many words is that (Stupid, Try, Miracle, Work, Regret, Shame, Waiting) seven deadly sins but there is also the capacity for good as in Work, and that’s what I should be doing, what I need to do versus what I want? I don’t think it’s God that gives us the strength if I need more imaginary friends there are so many characters dying for me to let them come out and play. Maybe that’s one of the most hateful parts Lady Sophia, that you have to live to feel all of this and if you’re living, I think you have a responsibility, god how I hate people sometimes but if you’re going to take up air and space, you need to do something right.

Procrastination is the part I hate the most though, living like this, feeling like this and yes I am blessed, I am grateful, but that doesn’t make the pain go away, even being at the finish line because now what is the question. Writing has always been the answer, but I long for the day my hands find enjoyment in other things but for now one day I love this, another I hate it, and now I Hate This Part.

I Will Have No Fear