Tuesday, July 14, 2026

Legacy 013 -Virgil Mines, Braxton’s Mind-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But a Firework? No, my love, you’re my Atom Bomb Baby. Five Stars? Something more…

Than trying to compliment you, today? Where Is My Mind? Anxiety! It’s a shame there are Humiliations Galore everywhere! I’m going to town on the Pop Culture references, aren’t I? Or how about I go to town on you and eff you until you can’t stand straight, my love. And I could also go back to crying about Braxton and worrying over Virgil, I mean…

Anything to avoid talking about today. My Olds never learned that lesson. And today ha

It isn’t funny, my love. Maybe, if I were still an awkward, asinine, always-sad teenager.

But I’m forty-one, Effing forty-one. But Shawshank’s (Red) was how old when he said uh:

“I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try to talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can’t. That kid’s long gone, and this old man is all that’s left. I got to live with that.”
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Simple and plain. But me. I’m an effing minefield, a mineshaft; I can’t be mine…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Why? Because I hate myself that much? We were talking today… and now I’m crying.

And that doesn’t bring me shame? I “Wish It Would Rain.” What I’m crying about…

And I don’t mean with what I told you. “You and Me” Always and Forever. Three two-legged kids, my boys Braxton and Virgil, so… Four point five children. Kittens, love?

Loving you and this family keeps me awake and alive. I gave myself to you as you did for me. Dante and Beatrice, Winston and Julia, demon to succubus… I’ve been listening to Succubus Lord 16 again. But I’m no Nephilim or one of the Old Gods buried below, ha.

In the simplest form, I’m Andy Dufresne, and you’re still my wife. Very much alive.

“My wife used to say I’m a hard man to know. Like a closed book. Complained about it all the time. She was beautiful. God, I loved her. I just didn’t know how to show it, that’s all.”
Andy Dufresne

And more powerful beyond measure. And that’s what I’ve been thinking about these past few hours, trying to forget today’s humiliation. Braxton would listen. Seriously?

Virgil? Well, he messed up his bed again, so I locked him out. Like the other girls in “The Unfinished Archive”. It’s Kyouko Saki and Skye Matthews day anyway. Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me. Too much laughter though. Then Skye’s Earth Magic. So what am I asking you to do, my love? Dig me out of the hole I keep digging? Or discover me. I’m “Undiscovered,” Or am I hiding? Love, I don’t know, I just don’t know.

But “Every Time I Turn Around (Back In Love Again)” with you. But it’s so dark… Virgil Mines, Braxton’s Mind

1990 Days Without B III, Day 1431 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will