Wednesday, October 21, 2026

Legacy 112 -B For Bingo, V-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… As much as I want my now six-year-old Virgil to live, I know what I want, Inspector Echo.

I wish I were as “innocent” as Art Baker in “The Long Walk.” I want to go home. Nope!

For a week, since I started fantasizing about Jahara Jayde… Really? But she’s not the point, Inspector. No, when I close my eyes, I know what I’ve been wishing for. What I’ve been wanking so as to avoid thinking about it. And who would I pray to if I would dare?

I can’t write it down. But I never told Braxton he was going home. I’ll always remember the look on his face that Sunday so many years ago when the veterinarian told me the truth.

Braxton looked at me like, “We’re going home, Dad…” The thought of if I had brought him back with me.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And now I look at his brother: my second-born son, Virgil Vivi. I gave him his birthday treat and then, in the evening, two “slices” of his birthday pie. Virgil thought he won the lotto.

On another note, I need to check my books… I won’t be eating as good as V; I know that.

But anyway, I was feeding him, and while we didn’t have that movie night yesterday, I was reminded of the old man in the 1993 film “Groundhog Day”. And didn’t I say I once thought that Virgil was a reincarnation of Braxton? And it’s like I can save my son?

Inspector, with the way things are going… I did check the books. Groceries? $44.27? Eff!

Let him eat cake, right?

Virgil, that is. What about me? Bingo! No V in Bingo. And no me either. It comes back to Braxton. Always to Braxton. He and Virgil fight for their lives. Braxton’s book is still out.

But I was at the Day Job today. What made me wish I was back in bed? Add another D and A. The B isn’t needed, hmm. Please! If I weren’t crying over B or wanking over M. Did I say that? My boys Potential Future Stepmom, M Anime. Trying to catch up with her

Honestly, so are the Magic Glasses/MIMA. Other humiliations? Couldn’t help customers find a tie. Moving things with my bosses. Musical selections. Becoming the village idiot.

Bingo! Lotto? Some chick’s legs? Losing? B For Bingo, V

2089 Days Without B III, Day 1530 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Wednesday, October 14, 2026

Legacy 105 -Braxton, Virgil, F Forgetting-

BLESS ME, Echo,
For I have sinned… Forgetful much? Fuck Columbus! Indigenous People’s Day was the 12th. Virgil’s Birthday is the 20th. And Jahara Jayde…

For the record, I’m not counting a “wet dream” as Day One, hm. But what about my girl, M Anime? I texted her this morning, but I didn’t say “Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die”.

One of these days, I need to remember to see that movie. Like wrestling, last night. “Dead City”. And how many things do I want to see? With what money? Yet another bill came in the other day, and then there’s the Day Job stuff. Adulting is the worst, Inspector.

Every day I wake up, and, except today, when I thought, “Wow, I came on her face. That was awesome,” Eww! Nine times out of ten, I think, why couldn’t I shuffle off this mortal coil, so to speak. Forgetful?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m a man without conviction
I’m a man who doesn’t know
How to sell a contradiction
Karma Chameleon, Culture Club

Karma Chameleon was right. When was the day I talked about not forgetting anything E

E as in elephants. Today’s question is this: How do I decide what to remember? I’ve been getting a bad vibe from Virgil lately. Is it because he’s getting old? My six-year-old little man. Five of those years he’s spent with me. B III had a harder road. Fifteen years.

Inspector, I don’t know what it was. A thought of Rabies? Rancid breath. Really, really, REALLY having no money. But like MAGA, I drift from one fuck up to the next. What was it, near the end of September to early October, the Magic Glasses/MIMA. Then it was the Day Job. And now my little boy. And like my woman

SIGH! Three little words escape me. I’m more inclined to say JSS “Just Survive Somehow”

Am I doing that myself? If anything, this sure is Hell ain’t living, Inspector. Honestly.

I’ve forgotten words like “Love and Happiness.” Relax, Rest, fucking Respect… I did mention the Magic Glasses/MIMA, right? I swear, RAGE, HORNINESS, and FEAR, Echo.

But no, I’m not one of these MAGA Incels. FDT and all of MAGA. But my boys are better men, Inspector. I said last week they give no F’s. Food, Forty Winks, and finding their father. Which is one more reason I’ve been worried about Virgil getting all cuddly, Echo.

I keep seeing that scene from I Am Legend. What does he remember? Have I forgotten? Braxton, Virgil, F Forgetting

2082 Days Without B III, Day 1523 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Wednesday, October 7, 2026

Legacy 098 -Braxton, Virgil, No F’s-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Sabotage? A teeny tiny bit. But I don’t really give “Two Fux” M’s Yabbos, my boys, two eyes.

But comedy comes in 3s, they say. “A,” “J,” and myself. What comes first, Inspector?

Always and forever, my boys. And as I speak of always and forever, you know, whenever I feel like I’m fucked, I think of the time life fucked me the hardest. Or was it death?

Inspector, I lost my son; I lost B. And Virgil ain’t looking too pretty these days as we move closer to his birthday. The 20th? Are there any other days I should worry about? Hmm.

Tomorrow? But again, we’ll get to that. What about today’s bank balance? How fucked am I? I haven’t had the “Nerve” to check on it. And I was so wiped after today. Braxton and Virgil bark, but did you die?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Okay, so today’s adventure… I’m at the Day Job “A” “C” “S” are there. Then there’s “J”.

And I don’t mean fun like Agent J, Mary Jane, or jerking off. Anyway, J makes everyone’s lives miserable, and finally A had enough. So she and J go after each other, and when she comes back, I’m angry for A. I shock J by speaking out against her not giving an eff…

Soon there’s a mutiny, a revolt, a revolution; it’s “The Uprising against J, Inspector Echo.

Anyway, by the time the GM arrives, J has no real defense—the first time I get sent to the office for trouble. At least right now, I don’t feel effed. But eff today and tomorrow. It’s almost my motto.

But you want to know some real effs about me. SIGH. I told M Anime about my fantasies about Ms. Rachel. Trust me, I have worse. But with Ms. Rachel… “Put it in?” Effing yes!

What about M Anime and I? Let’s Talk About Sex. But between her and me. We have a particular fetish, a peculiar kink. You do remember I studied “Ravishment,” Inspector?

Then let’s remember what I was worried about for the past week and a half before the drama-rama at the Day Job. The Magic Glasses/MIMA, or at least a pair of them, lost to the darkness. The things I was doing, and then no warning. Felt like my boys, Inspector.

They don’t give Two Fux. Me? Braxton, Virgil, No F’s

2075 Days Without B III, Day 1516 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Wednesday, September 30, 2026

Legacy 091 -Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What, by living? Don’t get me wrong, forty-two years is way too much for my liking. Buying books?

One of the many ways I fucked up yesterday. And there were indeed several, Inspector.

Enough to make me want to lose “My Boys.” When we get into it, you’ll see how STUPID I’ve been. But Inside/Outside is a… Let’s say it’s a silly game at least for Braxton Barks.

I swear my firstborn went everywhere. Is it ironic to call him both a free spirit and alive, Inspector? What is ironic is his brother, Virgil Vivi. He’s like a ghost. And I wish I were talking about the Good Boy from Game of Thrones. Is Virgil Ride or Die? Hell, that’s what I get for naming him after Dante’s hellish guide. He is a ghost, like a pillar of salt, a scoop of vanilla.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It’s like he melts away into the floor or wherever I place him. Braxton and his potential future stepmom, and I talk a lot about having two-leggeds. Sometimes it’s like Virgil forgets he has four legs. Somebody at the Day Job said they’ve seen us walking. So good, I’m not imagining Virgil is here. But he’d rather not be here in this house. Myself, Echo.

I would make my absence permanent. But I’m a father of two. Not one, Inspector!

Seriously, you remember The Running Man (2025)? “Richard Lives!” Inspector, always and forever, Braxton Lives! My brave boy. I envy him. And not only the whole shuffling off the mortal coil part. I wish I were so brave as to have his fierceness. Nope Inspector.

“I don’t want to be just one thing. I can’t be. I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest and kind.”
Four ― Divergent

Today, “I feel STUPID!” And we could go on and on in this Mad Season with all that happened at the Day Job. So fucking idiotic that I needed a second to forget. Day One…

I didn’t jerk off yesterday; too much was happening. I didn’t confide in M Anime…

Plenty of things I want inside her. Okay, I’ll stop, or rather begin. Inspector, honestly…

So yesterday ants retook the counter and the doorway. I was mixing up ant killer from the bathroom because you remember what happened last time with all the bug spray…

While fighting that battle, the guest bathroom went cattywampus. Then Amazon was taking my Kindle points, so I bought four books. Outside confidence. Inside blatant STUPIDITY. Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside

2068 Days Without B III, Day 1509 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Wednesday, September 23, 2026

Legacy 084 -Damage Report, Levels B-V-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I woke up twice. I’m here. “I never yielded! And as you can see, I am not dead.”

“No. It’s foolish to ask for luxuries in times like these.”
― The Road (2009)

Wishful thinking at its finest, my dear Inspector. But shall we begin with the evaluation?

Physically, my heart hurts. That’s a fucked up thing for me to say, considering my Ma and my boys’ potential future stepmom. Talk about heart problems. But I swear, I feel it. My heart is broken. And the physical exertion, the stress, every beat is lesser than the overall remembrance that Braxton is gone and I’m failing Virgil, Inspector, always.

Honestly, my left eye is still irritated… hurts now and again. For a few minutes I felt I was going blind during the truck unload—terrifying prospect, The Blindness, Inspector.

I nearly got crushed by a pile of boxes… Dammit, can’t the Grim Reaper do anything right these days, Inspector?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

This leads me to the mental. Braxton knows I could go into talking to him, my dead furry son. I talked to his brother too. Virgil is back in my good graces… No shit, Sherlock.

Literally. I’m talking to you—the fictional hot police detective. You’re based on “Carla Valenti” from Indigo Prophecy/Fahrenheit if you’re curious. Oh, and The Unfinished Archive… Delusion, Fiction, hell, a bit fucked up. It all makes my head hurt. Ouch!

And the first thing I did when I got back. Well, since I can’t take my head off. Uh, what?

Yeah, I have something in the drawer, but instead I slept. Passed out? Quite accurate.

Inspector, as the song asks, “Where Is My Mind?” Guess is as good as mine.

Why? I remember. I “Woke Up This Morning” and got myself a… Nope! A “Bloom.”

Inspector, I needed something so I could at least text M Anime coherently. I was almost late for the Day Job: exhaustion, Heat, and a Stomachache. I forgot a Gatorade; M Anime and her electrolytes. I didn’t take Virgil out. I failed my son, but he didn’t poop or worse… Of course my playlist is always hit or miss at the Day Job. Today’s offender was The Cure’s Love Song. First, I was looking for 311’s version. Secondly women… Scary.

Lastly, the most embarrassing moment. The pallet jack got stuck in a tiny pallet, and who took the blame? Everything I touch gets damaged. M Anime? Damage Report, Levels B-V

2061 Days Without B III, Day 1502 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will