“I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive.” How much is left? Oh, the Day Job, Olds, the other kid… Mean to say about V. He’s my son, the same as B. And as Charlie Brown would say, “good grief,” mourning’s tiring. “E Equals BV Scared.”
Tuesday, July 7, 2026
Legacy 006 -E Equals BV Scared-
Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And “fear is the heart.” Now that’s not something I’m sure I believe, my love.
Braxton wasn’t afraid to love me. If anything, he was afraid to leave me. Obsession?
Please! I’ve not seen the film; I love the Animotion song, and as far as the action, V has been quite needy lately. My words, the Olds… You? To be wanted, love. How to explain?
I think about the old Day Job, and when I played “I Don’t Know How to Love Him.” You know from “Jesus Christ Superstar.” “I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” My love…
That’s a whole other subject. Anyway, I’m thinking more of Jesus with the lepers, love. On the one hand, life’s a game made for everyone, and love is the instruction. But I’m not sure I want to play anymore. REST
“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000
That’s what I want to do on this rainy day. REST. And at the same time, do you know why “I’m Only Happy When It Rains?” Me… Happy? Never. I am always “Run Boy Run.”
And the rain slows things down. I’m still running. But to me it’s more for once there is time to catch up, time to be with you. Aren’t I with you in one way or another? Especially when you have your yabbos out. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I can, like, I can love.
Honestly though, no man in his right mind will turn down your impressive yabbos, love.
Either Braxton sitting in my lap or you giving me a blowjob. Hardest effing decision.
Love’s effing HARD. And draining…
I have you, love. And as a great man sang, “When you love me I can’t get enough Ah-huh, and I wanna spread the news. That it feels this good gettin’ used Oh, you just keep on usin’ me. Until you use me up.” So by no means am I complaining. “Baby I love you…”
I’m not the dang “The Yayhoos.” As a matter of fact, I feel ashamed because you devote so much of yourself to me. You learn my music, mourn my boy, read my manuscripts, and become the dirtiest minx imaginable when it comes to mattress shenanigans.
However, I fear you’ll one day go all “Life Itself” (Abby) saying something, meaning this:
I love you… but I may not be equipped to be loved this much.
Abby
Or I’ll be empty. Energy’s draining. E Equals BV Scared
1983 Days Without B III, Day 1424 of Virgil’s Arrival
B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will
