To think I want to have a business someday that focuses on “pornographic passions…” Well, not if Trump takes the White House. Seriously? Stormy Daniels. “Playboy Playmates?” Yet I’m sweating over a retail job. Virgil, Braxton’s Provided For
Tuesday, October 8, 2024
Meditation 099 ~Virgil, Braxton’s Provided For~
Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But not enough to give up slothfulness, “sins of the flesh, and what about silence?
Silence is a BIG subject. And aren’t I here to explain, when a man provides. Who, what, when, where, and why. But this week… sigh. It’s been all about time. And today, I didn’t even bother getting dressed. Yesterday, I sacrificed the entire afternoon because of stress and some Yabbos. Wouldn’t Braxton be proud? I’m not crying or bawling. Scared?
Sweating bullets. To think at one time, it would be because of a Day Job scheduled. And now? When it comes to owning, operating, and… Oh My God! But opening my place, opening bedroom doors, shirts, bras, pants, etc. Open legs and orifices. Eww! Wickedness.
You know how I make money. A man provides. And WCKD is good? Anything beats being afraid or slothful. But when? I have no answers.
Gus Fring didn’t ask when. He said, “A man provides.” But I have questions. Concerns. More like doubts and fears. Because I’m sitting here in our bed, worried about a time clock and losing everything
It comes with the territory. I have employees, insurance, laws, medical, and everything that comes with being “the man.” However, today, I’m back to feeling like “a man,” if that.
When Braxton was around, to provide, protect, and be a parent, I would do as Captain America… No! Steve Rogers put it, “WHATEVER IT TAKES.” Burn the boats, Carpe Diem, Leeroy Jenkins! My firstborn motivates me. You, my incredible wife. The children we brought into this world. So why is “Big Poppa” still sitting in bed looking at the clock?
Well, the world isn’t ending…
“Now that the world isn’t ending
It’s love that I’m sending to you
It isn’t the love of a hero
And that’s why I fear it won’t do” ― Hero
What time is it? Six minutes after… Another hour? Another six minutes after… No matter what, there is always time for another pop culture reference, a pump over some Yabbos, or a palpitation of my heart. I can be annoying, gross, and dark all in one sitting. I know, My Love. But what I don’t know is why I must be so terrified when it comes to wanting to live. I’m sorry to say I still wake up each and say, Dammit! Why am I awake? Why is Braxton gone? And why am I so scared. Because I feel I can’t provide for our family.
Today, I still believe the epitome of manhood is providing for one’s legacy… With my pen… Virgil, Braxton’s Provided For
1346 Days Without B III, Day 787 of Virgil’s Arrival
B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will