Episode 033 ~End Justifies The Will~

Don’t do it, even when you see The End on the horizon; when you wake up at four in the morning and can’t touch the keys till 4:50, when I am a writer makes you feel for once in your life that you are somebody, don’t do it. End Justifies The Will

Friday, August 3, 2018

Episode 033 ~End Justifies The Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason to feel bad, I know sometimes I can’t even stand myself, I can’t put it in a text, make excuses, god help me if I try to write it honestly somewhat, and only Spider-Man can get away with “I don’t feel so good.” When did the word “bad” become one of the hardest to put down in the English language, it’s damn near forbidden to feel it, so no wonder writing it takes a great amount of strength of “Will” as it were.

Being a writer, two words that have lost all meaning are “The End” when they should be two of the most rewarding, but everything is usually “To Be Continued” as the world continues to expand, evolve, and emote. Alliteration is another big word that I tend to do plenty and is usually frowned upon but it’s not the worst thing is it, like I always say, everything I want is impossible, immoral, illegal or insane. Would that include “Editing” which is like the aftermath of marrying the princess, you know they talk about happily ever after but I’m not that type of writer or a writer at all… Charles Bukowski.

I wrote a rule a few days ago “The Truest Sentence, An Excuse” because those come bursting out of me, I spent twenty minutes, maybe more, just trying to come up with the proper chapter title and then I asked myself do I still have the will to do this? There is the line in Tupac’s Ghetto Gospel where he says he goes blind and lets the lord do his thing and I’m still not religious mind you, but I wish I could blame somebody else, anyone else. If anything that is the point I want to make today, that I could blame somebody else for not wanting to write or for doing it but despite everything, there’s only me, and I feel bad because I’m not good enough truthfully.

“If I upset you don’t stress, never forget
That God isn’t finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes, I go blind and let the Lord do his thang” Ghetto Gospel, (Tupac, Elton)

I’m the one that woke up late and still spent two hours wanting to talk to you, the one that feels horrible about not posting a book review and yet excited to write a movie review and still too lazy to do it. With everything and according to Rule 158 “I’m Will, There’s A Way maybe that’s why imagining an end is so hard, a starving artist must stay as such which explains my not going to the store and only wanting to write more because and no disrespect to women ha but writing means bleeding, End Justifies The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 208 ~Ahead Of The Game~

When everything you say is wrong all you have to do is find a girl for answers, although to be honest I’m not that coherent during, and if I am, then it’s time to find a new girl… no filter right? Ahead Of The Game.

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Lesson 208 ~Ahead Of The Game~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore because some things render me speechless, e.g., blowjobs and even that I have an opinion about, yes I’m a hypocrite, this is true. First because last week I talked about getting loud, second the cock wants what it wants, and thirdly somebody put something in his mouth my zipper’s stuck, still thinking about that bastard from a few days ago; worried?

“Somebody put something in his mouth. My zipper’s stuck.” Martin Lawrence

Strange that I think about getting head when the last thing I want to do is reminisce, or in this case thinking with the little head instead of the big one… two birds one stone. What I mean is a release of one will lead to peace for the other, it’s hard to do anything in such a state, drive a car, hate your fellow man, or worry about anything at all. So while I’m trying not to indulge someone I despise, what about what I like in a girl, that would be a better use of my time right?

As the song goes, give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair, seriously I had a massive thing for Amandla Stenberg in “Everything, Everything” and then I saw her with a shaved head and dammit did that not negate everything else. Am I that shallow, I could be as bad as Ted Mosby that’s mad because a girl doesn’t pick up the check, or Blake who thinks he’s so disgusting that Erin can’t stand to look at him. Perhaps Catherine trying to imagine someone attractive in “Cruel Intentions 2”, that might have sucked. I’m not as depraved as to think about glory holes and paying for it… well, hopefully, I’m still gainfully employed now.

So where was I, long hair, I have a thing for brunettes, and a girl looking at me while she’s in the act, it honestly takes me to another place, the sound of silence or at least no words, more than words as another song goes. My favorite has to be that Katniss Everdeen braids style from The Hunger Games, ponytails, pigtails, but then we’re going into cosplay, and other fetishes and again my big head is much too dense, and my little head will be much too full dealing.

Is the lesson today that people should learn to shut their mouths in one way or another or that people naturally suck or are masters so Ahead Of The Game?

I Will Have No Fear

Kid Rocks

What’s my age again, what’s my age again, wait that isn’t heavy metal but all people have it in them literally, or on them, and I suppose I’m only getting heavier at my age. Kid Rocks, because am I growing up, I wanted to be an astronaut, help Atlas.

Stoned, however, it’s known
as heavy metal plays on my phone
I know I must be a pain

for Atlas carrying the Earth
Perhaps a sapphire is to blame

Because all that glitters is not gold
or silver, diamonds, and I was told
It doesn’t matter what’s in a name

A stone will crush us all the same

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

 

Bard from Light

Everything that can be said and not said, release the beast if we lived in such a place but with Donald Trump and others whose to know; even the written word is not safe. Bard from Light, maybe because the crazies have white rooms hmm

And we make our swords
into seven billion cages
while our flags become the pages
so that others will never know what rage is.
Love is several slamming doors

as with our eyes wide shut
we can’t live out loud.
Fahrenheit 451 and how
do we get out
one more war is never enough

when all the good men are gone, the gods, the knights
yet we can never cleanse our souls or purge
Who wants to converge
on a graveyard, but, yes ma’am, yes sir, and her
the lion sleeps tonight

So where is the light?

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Only Can Discover

A cure maybe, or a way to find relief, other than filling my head with numbers, how many times I checked the door, or people stay quiet, a method of forgetting and not having to worry about so much. Only Can Discover healthy.

Oh did I forget to lock the door
or should I try once more, I swore
only to turn around, before

conceivable the dog runs out of water
catching myself but what I said to somebody’s daughter
catastrophic humiliation, why I oughta

delay going in if people saw it, read it, and
decided… it doesn’t matter, I think I can, I think I can
do it, get up and go, man

oops, how many times, five, four, three,
can I ever be free of this disease?
Don’t know but count on my being O.C.D.

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Bark Check

All it took was a dog walking alone in the street, the little doggie I so wanted to save and I don’t know where he is now, how about my own four-legged son who this moment is lying under my feet waiting. “Bark Check” how I have gone looking for love

And I never ask the stars’ advice
on what to wish for or dream up next
I simply take it to the bank

neglecting to take the time to thank
God… people… my puppy dog once or twice
who never asks and I could never expect

to try, but somehow we both collect
not a dollar, rupee or franc.
No, it’s not some sort of prize

of life or waiting in some paradise.
It’s in every moment it doesn’t need a sec
a minute, a vault or a tank’s

protection, though my little friend you never shrank
from I love you, our names both blank
as love is without a price.
So what the heck
a dog’s love is a blank check

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Will Known

Something I’m going to regret, not today, hopefully not tomorrow, but for now as they sing fifteen percent concentrated power of Will, though I’m firing on all cylinders now. Will Known, who knows but someday maybe, and no I don’t mean never heh

How can you define Will?
Not in the words of a dead man
Have you bothered to check?
Could you possibly, listen, listen, hear, and understand
this secret I spill

What, “I’m Alive”, Will,
before the faces of a billion men
some wrong women I suspect,
to my virtues and vices, regrets and sins
I’ll scream it until

who I am and choose to be is Will
like Will Smith Will Schuester, Will Parry
do they expect
I can be like them, then it’s not so scary
until I thrill

when adversity threatens, my force of Will
more effective than an AK, hotter than a Molotov cocktail
let me direct
World War Three on Pay TV, a script to Hell
Maybe I can pay the bills

where Batman does but sign my checks Will
with my potential, my future, like any superhero
God knows I’m not perfect
I’m only human don’t you know…
No, then I have something to fulfill

Why promise anyone but Will
Free Will, Iron Will, even if I’m the one to blame
There will be some respect
People will remember the name
Yes I’m gonna make it, yes I Will

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Grin’s Fairytale

I hate my smile and I could say it’s because I have bad teeth, fell on the stairs, hit with a baseball bat amongst other things but words can be just as damaging to be sure and my words well… Grin’s Fairytale, weren’t “Grimm’s Fairytales” horror

Because I can’t stand to “sup”
or suspend, the words blurry.
I can’t help but worry
as I latch on, again and again
to hmm, oh, I stand in awe
though there is no God

present, he need not hurry
as I have not grown up;
and since when has any man been enough?
“Oh, yes, there will be blood” Jigsaw
spilled his guts but oh when, oh when
will I say the right word to win?

It’s a setup,
when I thought she was a friend
but a stranger, and the skin
crawls, surely
I’m guilty; who am I to say Nah,
to cry, to scream, to laugh, ta-ta

Instead, I offer no sound, no fury
for judge, jury, executioner I draw
no excuses for my shame, as my jaw
knows I should shut the hell up
My every thought, word, and dream a sin
Swallow them, here’s my shit eating grin

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Stone Cold Catch

I don’t drink to excess, and I haven’t smoked… in a few years, but I have big dreams and I don’t think I can carry them, those things are reserved for heroes, ask Lois Lane. “Stone Cold Catch”, is when you have to come down, sooner rather than later.

And how high was I
Goodbye to every star-crossed wish
kissed by the sun, big as all

falls not to the Earth
Sure were easy to take,
mistaking myself for Atlas

Madness that I have dreamed myself above
beloved superheroes
weirdo, freak, villain, pervert, so just leave me alone

Stoned simple and plain

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Grave Vocabulary

Words hurt, words kill, on one hand, I’m not one for politics or religion, some words though do damage on a more personal level I suppose, sometimes I wish we were more like the people of Pontypool. Grave Vocabulary

And we all fall down

from the graduate to the class clown
What defines us, is the letters
which fair
no better when we put them together

to allow a king his crown
or any man to speak for God
Feel it coming in the air
tonight, every sin, how we are flawed

Not friend, not lover, or a victor, no noun
Enemy, fiancé, target, mutt
Neighbor. Hunter. Tribute. Ally, we’re all scared
But we shut up

when the new girl in town
wants us to believe
she’ll be the last beautiful girl, anywhere.
Please, please, please, it’s a disease

this vanity that somehow
people still ask why
hateful words are all we have to share
Do you think God is listening on high

until he can no longer grin and bear
because I’m already there

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved