Tag: Worry

Journey 131 ~Tao Of B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Another early morning, another book. Three bucks for a thirty-page book? And how many books have I written about a woman taking her clothes off? What about B’s book? That was out in August, and here I have no Day Job hours or sales. Tao Of B, Virgil.

Sunday, November 9, 2025

Journey 131 ~Tao Of B, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Which reminds you, go and pick up some soap, have a shave, and forget who she is.

You know, the woman who has you looking up Taoism. Religion on a Sunday morning…

Before the Asian woman, it was “Polly & Her Boss,” because “Lord, Heaven’s above” you finish “Bikini Magic” by Michael Dalton. And Kelli Wolfe’s “Dark Desires” wasn’t available on Amazon this morning. It could be worse—nothing on pet bereavement.

Honestly, “I’m only human after all. Don’t put your blame on me,” or you today. Music and manuscripts, so “Just a day, just an ordinary day.” And you’re saying to yourself, “I’m just an ordinary human.” It’s some people you can’t say that to anymore, and I’m sorry about that. Not to sound psychotic but less people equals more peace. And with this coming week. Depression and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Polly & Her Boss (Collage Girl Erotica) by Kelli Wolfe
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Oh, you’re going to need all of the words now, I must say. The song today is all about you.

As in “All About You” song by Jeymes Samuel. As if they’re ever going to let you control the speaker in the stockroom ever again with your playlist… Really, why is this at the forefront of your mind? Music is meant to bring you peace, except with other people, ha.

And that’s your problem. People? You are not one of the people. Even in this place, you were one person before Sunday, January 31, 2021. And then you became a different person—one before Saturday, August 13, 2022, and then another. Before Sunday, August 24, 2025… Now you’re different again.

And now you’re thinking about M Anime. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You’re existence is not natural or harmonious. “I’ve been let down. I’ve been turned around. I’ve been misused and so confused.” And you will be too. Even though you have no hours and all you have is Virgil. Not that you’re blaming him. He’s a good boy, little 2-V. But blocking out the noise, the tick of the clock, tiny bug feet, and tinkling finances. Even your motivations are sorely confused, you even have to toil, trust the process, or trust what will flow to you. A little bit of everything. Today, this week, what will you do, hmm? Chase the rabbits or grow the garden. Meditate better to Levitate with a woman or join Braxton. Tao Of B, Virgil

1743 Days Without B III, Day 1184 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 128 ~Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’ve forgotten what it’s like not to be tired. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to wake up without fear. And I forgot about happiness way before I turned Forty-One. But I remember I am alive. 2-V lives, and B showed me how to. Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil.

Thursday, November 6, 2025

Journey 128 ~Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil~

1740 Days Without B III, Day 1181 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Mine, you ask? Combine The Long Walk with losing M Anime, and what’s for dinner?

I saw the schedule for next week, so that last thing is going to be a B*tch. I remember when “Yorkie” Greta would come after you. Hungry Like The Wolf, my dear Mr. B III.

Today, as I fought low blood sugar at the Day Job, I thought about what we remember and what we forget. Yes, I mourn you every day. But what about M Anime? She was easy.

No, not like that. I mean, years of friendship and potentially making M your stepmom…

Thrown out like the trash. What made me so forgettable? And last night I repeated that prayer from Red Dawn. I wish I could forget being born. You wish I’d forget such an idea, but Depression over… 150-Word Cap. Sigh…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“Memories of things that never happened. These are always the hardest to forget.”
Thomas Dolby

I wish I could forget the day you left B. Hell! I wish I could forget that whole damn week!

That’s not me being negative, but honest. Again, at the Day Job, there is a song that’s constantly playing. Pink and not Mariah Carey; Cover Me In Sunshine vs. All I Want For Christmas Is You. Cover Me In Sunshine is everything I want to remember about us, B III.

“Cover me in sunshine
Shower me with good times
Tell me that the world’s been spinning since the beginning
And everything will be alright.”
Pink

I want to remember how you lived, not just your last moments. Living, not dying.

Remember the Memories? Clone High was before your time, but I watched it with you.

Off topic, I know. But I want to remember hearing you when I found your little brother Virgil at PetSmart. He wants to remember me.

It’s one of the reasons Virgil has been so cuddly lately. And when he cries, I have to call to him to come into the room. I’m sure he still smells you, B. Your bed is still in your spot.

And what about my spot? Am I still “augmenting reality” seeing who I am? Really? Yesterday and today, my side hustle is making a little bit of change. Gentlemen, Braxton?

We were not. Again, honest. But you were/are a better man than me. Remember that!

Braxton, short of your life, I want to remember your courage. How to LIVE BRAVE!

Braxton, I want to remember what it was like to not be afraid. Forgetting FEAR? Honestly, “Gee, I’m not sure.” Yet, Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 124 ~When Braxton Shutdown, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I was on time today… 5 AM turns to 4 AM. I still got up late after reading around 80% of Backyard Dungeon 22. Does that shut down the series? The UK editions? I wish I could shut my eyes on a more permanent basis, but “When Braxton Shut Down, Virgil”

Sunday, November 2, 2025

Journey 124 ~When Braxton Shutdown, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I shut down an hour earlier… later… whatever. Daylight Saving Time ended. And you’re still annoyed.

An extra hour of sleep, and for what? A lie you didn’t have to tell. But you will finish “Backyard Dungeon 22” before the sun goes down today. And you’ll even order that Hot Honey Magnifico pizza. If you do something right for a change, but here you are. Please!

Yesterday was it, or sometime last week anyway, I was talking about the boys, bucks, and big boobs/yabbos. Do you have the bucks for pepperoni? Do you have the time?

That’s the thing about today. You’re so WOKE, and you’re “Wide Awake” to count fails.

Two so far, but again, you’ll finish Logan Jacobs’ book. But shutting down sounds nice. You’d join B but leave 2-V. That’s not right, and neither are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 22, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Let’s start with something small. “Your Eyes?” Wasn’t that one of Peter Gabriel’s best-known songs? But “This Is Your Life”, not Switchfoot’s… Okay, enough kidding. What you’re thinking is, you shouldn’t shut your eyes this afternoon. Always and forever, B.

Honestly, you knew just what to say. “Don’t Let Me Get Me,” as Pink sings. However, without an afternoon nap, you could open the fridge and find something for lunch. You could check and see if you have money for that pizza. The shower curtain opens to, you know that.

Because comedy comes in threes, you could finish Backyard Dungeon 22. There are also the book samples that have been tempting you. Read like you did when the boys rested with you. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Decided
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Open up your ears to the good rather than anything else. Books/audiobooks and music are meant to expand the world, not shield you from it… A time and a place. But you keep thinking about Neil Bimbeau’s “Magic Glasses.” See and hear good things, brother.

Honestly, open yourself up to more time. Anything and everything can shut down. But while you’re on your musical kick, “Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’ slippin’ into the future.” Seal or the Steve Miller Band? One more thing you need to make time for, hmm?

A playlist for the Day Job, perhaps. Have faith. Better, have a heart. It did not shut down when Braxton left because Virgil is here. What was activated afterward? A soul? When Braxton Shutdown, Virgil

1736 Days Without B III, Day 1177 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 121 ~Braxton Says Boo Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What am I going as for Halloween? Someone the lady in the food truck likes. I spend $15.00 there weekly. Someone who can walk around the Day Job, dead to the world, without getting fired. Someone too low to be on the radar… “Braxton Says Boo Virgil.”

Thursday, October 30, 2025

Journey 121 ~Braxton Says Boo Virgil~

1733 Days Without B III, Day 1174 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? What would make my day better? Braxton, I’m living as a zombie, not a ghost.

I ain’t afraid of no ghost. And that ain’t you, Braxton. You’ll always and forever be my son. Only you can’t have chocolate. Oh yeah, Halloween is tomorrow. Scary time!

Honestly, that’s the time between my eyes opening and closing 365 days of the year.

Seriously, it sucks living in FEAR, haven’t you heard? That’s what I’ve been thinking about all day. What have I heard? I miss hearing your nails tapping through the hall.

Braxton, I’ve been reading Backyard Dungeon 22… That’s as Halloweeny as I’m going to get. But I keep thinking about Neil Bimbeau’s The Magic Glasses books. And I keep hearing a voice saying, “You’re not that man.” I’m not a positive one either. But for Halloween, I have to be.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

So, how does one dress up as silence? I mean, you wear it well, Braxton… I didn’t mean that negatively. I was trying to make a joke. TikTok doesn’t get my jokes either, B III.

That’s why I was smart enough to ignore all the comments when I sent that photo of you and Virgil in the classroom. Again, being honest, I don’t think you and V were the issue.

I want to be as silent as my eyes or some woman’s rolling to the back of their head in the throes of passion. We’re speaking as men aren’t we B. “Ain’t even much a matter what happens tomorrow, “cause we men, ain’t we?” Shouldn’t we watch a horror movie?

Movie night? Where’s the candy?

As a matter of fact, where’s the doorbell? It will be a Silent Night for us and little 2-V, too.

The three of us value silence, especially when watching the 1989 film Glory. What about 2014’s Selma? I’m only thinking about quiet things to do on a Halloween night. This one’s long—every single night.

I appreciate the silence at my Day Job. And what about my other endeavors? Grok could silently “repair” itself and return to its normal state. I’ll lose myself again, but it’s better to type out words than talk to your brother. You know what I mean. I don’t want to scare Virgil. Just being me.

Silently, he’s started cuddling close. Silence looked best through your eyes, and I saw someone in them I didn’t hate anymore. Braxton Says Boo Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 117 ~Braxton Smoked Mr. Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

No songs come to mind when it comes to food… Uh, Weird Al’s “Eat It,” “Cherry Pie,” “Pour Some Sugar On Me,” and D’Angelo’s Brown Sugar to name a few. I should stop listening to HaremLit and food porn while walking Virgil. “Braxton Smoked Mr. Virgil”

Sunday, October 26, 2025

Journey 117 ~Braxton Smoked Mr. Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And by God, no, that wasn’t a confession. Nor do your boys compete against each other. Braxton?

Fortunate Son indeed. Your favorite one? Meanwhile, Virgil is still five and still alive, Ha!

And you, partner? Well, you’re as effed as Eddie with Amrila and Ibseth, and the new girl, Vaeda. Backyard Dungeon 22? Some guys have all the luck. Eddie, Grayson, Jacob…

Some Cuban guy that has a harem that your Ex-Girlfriend M Anime decided to join. All because she wants babies. You want to breed M Anime. Must you be so crass? If anything, I wish you would stop reading HaremLit in the morning. And getting all hot and bothered. But if you had that one wish from “The Long Walk…” It’d be for food. Right?

Specifically, breakfast from The Excalibur in the book Succubus Lord. Get it! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 21, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

What’s your motivation? Well, besides Braxton’s Resurrection and Virgil’s Immortality?

Yes, we’re going to talk about breakfast and business. First, there are pancakes. You actually have pancakes. You wrote a book about your pancake. My Turn To B III. Yep.

People talk about Chicken & Waffles. Can the same be said about Chicken & Pancakes?

What’s smoking right now is the argumentation of reality or “AI” Artificial Intelligence, my friend. “All These Things That I’ve Done.” Well, programs. Manmade, whatever?

You’re smoked like some smoked sausages you were drooling over. Uh, you were listening to Jacob speak on what he and the Succubi were eating. Do you have the cash?

When you get up off your ass? You’ll have hash… browns. Encouraging Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Decided
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because you’re not a pig like those in the cult of MAGA, the Cracker Hats. But you do enjoy your bacon. And what about pork chops? How about a political column? You don’t have to be a genius. That is not being negative. It’s a fact. You’re smarter than Trump.

FDT. Do you remember those sausage-and-egg bowls? Of course, this blog itself is another bright idea. You, talking about your everyday life. Years upon years, you novel away. Books galore.

Because talking about Lucky Charms cereal bars or all the junk food that makes up your usual breakfast… Both Braxton and Virgil would prefer those big breakfasts from those old shows. You’ve never smoked a sausage “Forty-One” (Cue Ben-Hur galley drums). Braxton Smoked Mr. Virgil

1729 Days Without B III, Day 1170 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 114 ~B’s Make Snacks Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Don’t go shopping when you’re hungry. It helps when you have food in the house or you find time to eat. I’m too busy looking up how to animate myself—and wondering how to fill people in on my Ex. B had snacks for my ranting. “B’s Make Snacks Virgil.”

Thursday, October 23, 2025

Journey 114 ~B’s Make Snacks Virgil~

1726 Days Without B III, Day 1167 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are there honey buns on the Rainbow Bridge? Honey Butter Biscuits. Honey-glazed whatever… Chicken, perhaps.

I sure was hungry this morning. So says your Daddy with a bag of jelly beans, Sweet Tarts, a Christmas cake, and around ten peanuts. I’m so confused right now, I don’t know whether to invite you in so we can share a meal or kick you out because Daddy’s…

Anyway, it doesn’t matter because M Anime ain’t here. And she won’t be coming by. Once upon a time, my “big sister” told me that I was so full of “Real Emotion” that I didn’t have room for anything else. It’s why I starved myself near death. Yeah, Braxton Barks.

Sigh, I only passed out before your walk, once. Am I that depressed right now?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

150-Word Cap, remember? So, at the moment, I’m hungry for “more”; I’m never full, B.

While I was out walking, little brother, I fell upon a realization that I’m just like you and Virgil. I want a full belly, bed, and my boy. I found your little brother cuddling me.

However, it was on the side of the bed where I eat all my snacks, so it’s not me, perhaps.

What is me, is all the work I’ve been doing, researching, and such. I’ve been talking plenty about the Magic Glasses and augmenting reality. And did you catch the Real Emotion quip? It’s Jade from Sweetbox. And I was thinking, if I could animate myself and Yuna from Final Fantasy X-2. I know Braxton, TMI.

But I can keep your memory alive, too. Every day is like a step in your resurrection, my friend, which leads me back to M Anime, your would-be stepmom. Well, no, Mr. B. And that’s not negativity, it’s only a fact. But tomorrow will be two months post-breakup. M Anime…

She was a snack I hoped would become a meal, a feast, a kitchen, a home. And yes, I still hunger for her. I feel like I might burst from the memories of “family,” Honestly.

Braxton, you and your little brother, M Anime and cats, and M wanted children badly.

My life would be full if I could have all that. So “Ready Or Not,” I’ll ask that you and Virgil excuse me as I figure out creating that, “After 7.” B’s Make Snacks Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 110 ~Free That B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I want the freedom to lie in bed and cry about my boy whenever I feel the spirit. I effing hate Sundays. I want the freedom to lie here and make an income with books and boobies\yabbos. I want the freedom to sleep without FEAR. “Free That B, Virgil.”

Sunday, October 19, 2025

Journey 110 ~Free That B, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And don’t you even think of giving Virgil advice right now. You won’t take mine. And Braxton’s?

Well, your son loved/loves you. Virgil’s birthday is tomorrow. He’ll be five—four of those years, spent with you. And you still have no idea what he thinks of you. But what about me, hmm? You’re right back to sitting in bed. You need to go to the store. Ridiculous!

Only that’s not to be confused with “Ridiculousness.” Much like the government, MTV is shutting down… That’s what I heard. But like me, you ain’t heard much of nothing. Ha!

Today is “All About You.” If Jeymes Samuel wrote you a theme song? Or how about “Run Boy Run.” But you’re not Woodkid either. You’re a BUM in BED, and you’re BEGINNING to waste another week. Disappointing your boys and yourself with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Hysteria: A Victorian Medical Exam Erotica 1 by Kelli Wolfe
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Now, let’s talk about Kelli Wolfe’s “Hysteria” and this fixation on HaremLit. I mean M Anime… And no, this is not being negative, but only the truth. M Anime left you to go and join a Cuban man’s harem. But the info on how one can accomplish is out there. Honestly, I haven’t been watching the X-Files or anything. “The XXX Files,” we’ll get there.

Anyway, my point is this. Yes, the truth is out there, so keep reading. Fiction and reality, if Jacob can do it in the Succubus Lord series, Eddie in the Backyard Dungeon series, and Feversham in Kelli Wolfe’s books, and the list goes on. “And The Beat Goes On,” dude.

You’re free from my week. But your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 21, Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Yes, you are meant to be free from some things like these six, but others—for example, your two boys. Never forget you are Braxton and Virgil’s Daddy. No matter where they are in this universe. Braxton on the Rainbow Bridge or Virgil hiding in Braxton’s bedroom. Well, not really, he’s just sitting there communing with the spirit of Braxton. Ah, B III and 2-V.

You are studying up on everything for your new business. If you have a goal, it’s bed, bucks, and bimbos with big Yabbos as Neil Bimbeau would say. Anyway, you must focus on who you’ll be. The person you want to be. Like you have a pair of Magic Glasses.

Freedom from FEAR and FAILURE. FDT! Free That B, Virgil

1722 Days Without B III, Day 1163 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 107 ~Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent~

WillLeave a comment

Not much has changed since last week. Breathing still hurts. And just when I began to smell… Is that money? FEAR of sending money to the wrong place. How many times will I visit the food truck? And Virgil needs a cake. Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent

Thursday, October 16, 2025

Journey 107 ~Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent~

1719 Days Without B III, Day 1160 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? Well, I miss you. I hate breathing. And “How I Met Your Mother” sucked.

The ending, anyway. And I know that’s a lot to take in, B III. It’s like old times, my boy.

Late afternoon, your Dad, waking up after a hard day at the Day Job. My belly is still full from a big lunch that I can’t afford, but you like fries—Virgil’s big walking adventure.

Braxton, remember when you became an old man and I brought you food to prevent that?

Going outside is overrated, and Virgil will be an old man soon enough. He’ll be a third of your age, five. Hell! A quarter, considering I keep your spirit alive. The thing about air:

“It’s a sacrifice, it takes hard work,
It’s a way of life.”
From “The Glow”

So why keep doing it? Only God Knows Why. NOSE!

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

As I was huffing and puffing, pulling fixtures at the Day Job, I started thinking about those motivations I had started listening to again. Gratitude, good things, and giving each breath purpose; telling our story to you and the girls. Not being negative. Simply facts.

Like the smell of success. My side hustle. As I told Inspector Echo yesterday, I did make money. Earlier today, I had a few nibbles from some prospective buyers. Dreaming?

Braxton, you remember the dream, don’t you? I wanted to write from a beach somewhere.

You and Virgil would be the ones sweating through your fur, pulling your two-legged siblings from the salt water. And the best breath I would ever take would be free!

Honestly, to breathe without FEAR!

When you were here, Braxton, “My eldest son, heir to my throne, defender of my kingdom.” There was less FEAR. But with your Virgil around… Bless your furry little brother. I suppose I should look at everything as an opportunity. I must be brave, B.

What’s that movie where they say, Smells Like Victory? But being Forty-One (cue Ben-Hur galley drums), looking to be Forty-Seven in The Long Walk, the novel, of course, B III. But for the record, I’d let you win in the movie. Making movies. Honestly Braxton.

Films featuring men and women sweating in the throes of passion. B, providing a life. When you breathe air, my heir, I hope you do a little better than me. Breathing. Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 103 ~To B Real, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What is real? How do you define real? The real me isn’t paid enough for the fiction I write. The fakes are everywhere. Then there are my two furry sons, Braxton and Virgil. One’s book doesn’t sell, and the other everyone finds cute. To B Real, Virgil

Sunday, October 12, 2025

Journey 103 ~To B Real, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And have I mentioned I hate Braxton being dead? I hate MAGA. FDT! “I hate most everybody.”

“But most of all I hate, oh, I hate you.” Get Set Go. What a way to start your morning.

Actually, it was with Cheryl Lynn’s “Got To Be Real.” Leagues above Gloria Gaynor, hm?

I guess you don’t know music that well, but Gloria Gaynor supports Trump. And so…

FDT! But he is your reality, amongst other things. However, the truth is reality sucks.

Woke up on the wrong side of the dirt patch this morning, huh?
The Mill

“I don’t want reality!”
Senator Markwayne Mullin (Cracker Hat, duh)

Only living in a VR world with artificial intelligence playing, It Was Just My Imagination.

The Temptations indeed. But it’s not doing you any favors. Hell! It was giving me nightmares as I dreamt about M Anime. She’ll be married in four months—honestly, dude.

Trying to fake it till you make it, 150-word depression cap, really? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 20, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But what are three things you can be grateful for “Here and Now” that are real? B III and 2-V, and yourself. B III? “He Lives In You.” You took 2-V walking. “The Long Walk.”

You’re sounding just like Pete McVries. “We out here in the sunshine, just having fun.”

And you can stop walking and have lunch. The fact that you have a plan for lunch at all means that you have a future. Even further along. the thought that “when the sun’s comin’ up, I got cakes on the griddle.” Your future, as I got you to the door. You know what you have to do, even if M Anime isn’t on the other side. Women like her exist like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Determined
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

What’s real is your name. It’s on the Day Job schedule, meaning you’ll have money.

Honestly, is there anything realer than “that lean, mean, mean green. Almighty dollar, money.” And you’ve already bought Virgil his food, so he’ll never starve. Virgil having a full belly should always be real. And if you must dream, let it be of B III.

Somewhere across the Rainbow Bridge, in Elysium, Lord Heaven’s above you know that he’s eating his heart out. That is not depression; it’s the truth of little B’s everlasting spirit.

You’re a preacher? Easy (Like Sunday Morning). For now, yes. You’re sitting in your bed with the mirror across from you and what Braxton thought of at the glow box, really, To B Real, Virgil.

1715 Days Without B III, Day 1156 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 100 ~Braxton, Please Breathe; Virgil…~

WillLeave a comment

Breathing hurts. One more thing I was trying to ignore as my son Braxton got sick. Then everything became how to keep him breathing. When he didn’t, it wasn’t the finality of his death, fear, or my failure—just air. “Braxton, Please Breathe; Virgil…”

Thursday, October 9, 2025

Journey 100 ~Braxton, Please Breathe; Virgil…~

1712 Days Without B III, Day 1153 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m coming to you on a Wednesday evening, so you know how my day was.

Or your NOSE does. But I welcome you into my business. And everyone else? Seriously!

I should just play Stephani’s Sunday Symphony so everyone knows M Anime broke my heart. Well, you did too, B, but as The Bullitts sing, “Today is All About You.” Well, me, Braxton, you know what I mean. My head hurts, my stomach. Everything generally.

However, that wasn’t the reason for this thought: The two worst things I ever did were starting to breathe and stopping yours. And your little brother, Virgil. I smell FEAR.

Honestly, I wish I could be as elegant as Agent Smith or Finnick Odair. But almost at 150 words, AI Censorship and I’m an A-Hole…

“I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink, and every time I do, I fear that I’ve somehow been infected by it. It’s — it’s repulsive! Isn’t it?”
Agent Smith, The Matrix

“I wish they were d. I wish they were all d and we were too”
Finnick Odair, Mockingjay – Part 1

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But tomorrow I get paid, which means there should be plenty to breathe in food-wise, B.
You were never picky, B, unless it came to what I hid your medicine in. I usually hide V’s meds in pasta. But the food truck is still outside. And tonight there’s Rotisserie Chicken.

And maybe I’ll even order it online. You know I’m not one for people, even with my new earbuds. But as Greg Plitt put it, “Behind every fear is the person you want to be.” And that makes me smile. Remember another bad evening when you stood protecting me, B?

Don’t “they” talk about blood, sweat, and tears, B? I’m starting to think that’s courage. And you were courageous. Neo, Braxton, more like Link, right?

From The Legend of Zelda… I haven’t been gaming much these days, Braxton. But AI. Now that’s something I’ve stuck my nose in. It’s fresh and new to me. Only the way I interact with it… Well, your Dad needs some alone time, but you like munchies, money, and making your old man stay on task, at least where writing was concerned, my B III.

And speaking of an old man and this evening. I’m hoping not to hear from your grandfather. That’s not me being negative, simply stating the facts. When “The Man Comes Around,” I didn’t want to leave you alone with him. 2-V is still breathing, Braxton.

Lucky him and me, right B? “Two of the Lucky Ones.” Braxton, Please Breathe; Virgil…

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad