Tag: Birthday

Meditation 007 ~Allowed To Hate Your Birthday~

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I’m sure I’ll regret writing this about E-Day. I regret waking up today. And I can hear all my motivations talk about gratitude. 39 years? Well, Braxton was here for fifteen. And his loss trumps E-Day by a mile? But… Allowed To Hate Your Birthday

Monday, July 8, 2024

Meditation 007 ~Allowed To Hate Your Birthday~

Three-Hundredth And Fifty-First Rule

Madam Justice
Rules are made to be broken… But not this one. No! Never! I’m approaching FORTY! What a world? Waste? Why? But not today!

Madam, today isn’t even today. It’s Thursday, June 27, 2024. Will I ever stop lying? Madam, my Existence ended on Sunday, January 31, 2021. That’s the day I “joined my son.” Braxton passed away in his bed at the vet’s. Here I go, crying again. But I rather have the pain of my son’s life ending. Than that of my Existence beginning. So am I saying I’ll take the greater pain? In dog years… yes. That entire week was bad. But it’s not like this week has been any better. But again, I’ll always start with Braxton. He deserves it.

Madam, I remember the day I got my son back… in a box. Uh! And what about my Braxton’s birthday? February 13? A made-up day…

Like, I wish the word “birthday” was only made up? I swear! I have a list of words that don’t mean anything to me. Happy, Home, Birthday… I’m telling you I’m going to quit saying that regarding me. For me, it’s E-Day. Emergence, Existence, and if I ever get lucky…

Extinction. But we’ll get to that. Emergence is what matters. But no, I’m not one of those political types. Yes, I have views. But allow me to be selfish and think only about myself. AHEM…

Madam, I HATE EMERGENCE DAY!

Twenty-one years with nothing to show. Fifteen more? Well, I was Braxton’s Dad, for sure. And how did that turn out for him? And every other day, Madam. Inevitable, Imaginable.

I watched Braxton die! Unimaginable.

Please, King Kong, ain’t got nothing on me or my son. But still, I shut my eyes because tomorrow… What about today? I’m talking to you now because of the horrors this day will bring. It’s hard existing through that. Instead of embracing oncoming horrors…

Madam, I dwell on the worst moments. I survived my son’s loss and my becoming. Whatever doesn’t finish you makes you stronger. But I’m not, Madam. There isn’t a day that passes that I don’t think about joining my boy. However, now I have Virgil.

Everyone calls it Gotcha Day, and that’s coming up soon. The only thing that would change about “my” rule would be to name Braxton’s loss the most hated day ever.

Allowed To Hate Your Birthday

“A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1254 Days Without B III, Day 695 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 358 ~Virgil’s Goals Will B~

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So what’s our goal? To do our best! Nope, we got a new goal now! Our new goal…is victory! Now’s not the time for Final Fantasy X or XXX. I have a whole week to actually do something. For myself? For Braxton! For Virgil… “Virgil’s Goals Will B”

Sunday, June 23, 2024

Tale 358 ~Virgil’s Goals Will B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Remember, those who can do, and those who can’t teach. I’m sure you’re familiar with this saying. Now, let’s focus on setting some goals for you. Uh… Great, now you’re thinking about adult films featuring teachers. Eww!

(Cue Final Fantasy VIII’s The Oath) Time for some motivation…

Yes, you’re trying not to laugh. And at the same time, you’re trying not to cry. But after the initial thought of “Where’s Braxton?” And then the reminder that he’s no longer with you… Sigh. I understand Sunday will always be a tough day. Anyway, you thought of The Oath.

And aren’t I supposed to be offering you some motivation right now? Here are the facts: I’ve wasted five months of this existence, and June is nearly done. You’re approaching 40. Before you lies a solid week. You’d have even more days if I hadn’t wasted them. You only need to talk to Inspector Echo. Then, your writing schedule is clear. OH! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Attention, Shoppers by Blair Daniels
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 016* No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Here’s something else. You know why that asterisk is there… What was I doing on Friday, June 21, 2024? But I’m not owning up to it. And apparently, neither are you. And before you go crazy: Hot Juicy Teacher, Desperate BLANK Housewives, Shusaku, Isaku, BLANK Taxi, Saimin Seishidou, Piper Niven, and FDS featuring Estella Bathory and Harmony Reigns. I swear Cherry has ruined you when it comes to fuller-figured women with foreign accents. But are you calmer now? This wasn’t the motivation I was suggesting. Unless you plan on calling Johnny Sins. Remember who you’re talking to, and listen to me. If I could give you honest advice, it’d be to give up “adulting motivations.”

Good luck with that. Good luck with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 12, Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 016, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So yeah, before we were interrupted by your libido, we were discussing this week’s goals. Besides the Six Impossible Things, you have a chance at number 3 this week. Finally! This isn’t one of Braxton’s novels, but it will be a chance to start them. Or will you look up an excuse? You’re not worried about the Day Job anymore. But today… it never ends. You have to text your Ma today. And tomorrow is your father’s birthday… I understand.

No wonder you’re yearning for a release. The stress can drive you mad. And Braxton’s passing? It’s a heavy burden to bear. But soldier on.

Dealing with your grief is not one of your goals, but showing signs of living? Because existence is only a temporary goal. Show Virgil you’re better. Virgil’s Goals Will B

1239 Days Without B III, Day 680 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 308 ~Don’t B COOL, Virgil~

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Is being into “Pop Culture” cool? My son B was a pretty cool dude. And now. Well, he’s not in the cold, cold, ground… V wasn’t very cool until I cut on the AC. Finally! I was cool enough when my father blamed me for something. “Don’t B COOL, Virgil.”

Saturday, May 4, 2024

Tale 308 ~Don’t B COOL, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… In my dreams, Lady Lunalesca. The things I could do with ‘cold hard cash.’ But I remain in bed, grappling with the reality of being broke.

“Some of you love sleep more than you love success.” Lady Lunalesca, I love Braxton. Where would I be if I loved everything the way I love my firstborn son? But no. My tears keep me cool, or so I thought. And I’m headed towards the Ninth Circle, regardless, Lu.

Another way I realized or remembered how to be cool… I need only talk to my old man. The fear he instills in me, the fear of being the source of his ire, chills my blood and paralyzes me. Even when I’m not to blame.

Then there’s this morning. Even when I’m not flipping through actual book pages, Lady Luna. I still ended up buying three for twenty-two bucks. And so, what now, dear Lu?

I swear my brain is a block of ice sometimes.

But at least I know what today is. Star Wars Day? WWE Backlash? Braxton’s Aunt’s Birthday! She’s turning thirty-four. To think. I’d miss being that young, with all the possibilities and dreams. But now Lu.

First thing… no, second, maybe third. I missed B III and then had to take Virgil, the other furry kid, outside. Leave it to someone like Kristi Noem to make me want to be better towards V. Kristi, puppy killer!!!

Well, that third thing I was doing this morning was “Turning Japanese…” That’s not cool. I’m sure the critic will say that—if THEY say anything worthwhile. Everything stops when it comes to “Pretty Woman.” And now I’m listening to music, avoiding moaning. Women, mine…

Lunalesca, I’ve been trying to avoid turning on the air conditioner. But yesterday afternoon… SIGH

I tell myself I was trying to take care of Virgil. But I could be trying to adapt to my ‘eternal home.’ First for betraying my boys, then thinking I betrayed my Old Man. Ha!

I was terrified when he called me yesterday about one of my bills. Only an hour later, he called back, saying it was all his fault. During that time, I was unable to move. Frozen.

But the ironic thing is that I wake up wishing I was cooling in the ground every day. I deserve it. Only I would never see Braxton again. And who would look after Virgil, Luna?

Yet I don’t know how the UNDERWORLD works. Then again, Succubus Lord, Backyard Dungeon, Bikini Nights. Don’t B COOL, Virgil

1189 Days Without B III, Day 630 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 118 ~Just Breathe, B, Virgil~

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So I finished a book about a guy and a corpse. Then, last night, I hoped I wouldn’t see one as Virgil breathed weirdly. Should have read up on how to help him. If I had time. 15 years with B, what do I know of dog first aid. “Just Breathe, B, Virgil”

Friday, October 27, 2023

Tale 118 ~Just Breathe, B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… Better yet, I need to read how to perform basic first aid on dogs. Virgil Vivi?

Lady Sophia, if you’re asking why I’m so late this morning. Hell! I lounged around in bed for an hour. And then I can’t say I was reading anything. How do THEY say… A picture is worth a thousand words. So, how many pairs of Yabbos is that? The answer might surprise you. But we’re not here because of Math. Next to History, Reading rules. Inevitable. And according to Kindle, I’ve read for 562 days. And not one of those books would have saved V last night. Don’t worry. He’s very much alive. Breathing? Happy? He’s becoming more and more like me. Except I think he would prefer breathing, Sophia. But what do I know? Braxton wanted to make me happy. What makes me happy?

Didn’t The Beatles write a song about it? Only I’m not one for that kind of violence. Have you seen the news the past few days? Something else I want to avoid seeing, hearing about, or reading. Then again, I could tell you that Virgil Vivi was gone. After the trouble, he had last night. I petted him and begged him to take a breath. Again, looking up medical emergencies. Sophia, I didn’t. While Braxton lay dying, I finished Succubus Lord 7, next came 8. Vladimir Nabokov’s The Enchanter came after. So, um, three books before I got to sigh… A Dog’s Purpose by W. Bruce Cameron. But what is my purpose, to keep breathing? More than likely, it’s to waste air, Sophia, I swear.

It’s a good enough reason not to buy physical copies of books. It’s an insult, Lady Sophia, to trees, blasphemy to the air, and humanity… What about it? Look at the last seven books that I’ve read. Sunday has always been a bad day. Well, since B died. But talking to the Man in the Mirror. Hell! I guess he’s sick of telling me about my failures every week. Anyway, I was talking about novels. The last seven were about dirty priests, vampires, elves, video game vixens, and a girl’s corpse. “Can’t Get It Up If The Girl’s Breathing.” Eww! Thank you, Repo! The Genetic Opera. Unfortunately, genetics, “my” biological imperative, demands I keep breathing. How these stories end. Virgil’s story? Just Breathe, B, Virgil

999 Days Without B III, Day 440 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 111 ~Booked Virgil’s Birthday, Braxton~

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With the reading and writing, I do. I’m now saving Virgil’s Birthday? He’s turning three. So, another step towards fifteen… And ain’t nobody reading Braxton’s books yet. It’s hard when they’re unpublished. But today? Booked Virgil’s Birthday, Braxton

Friday, October 20, 2023

Tale 111 ~Booked Virgil’s Birthday, Braxton~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… About how I was a better Daddy to Braxton than Virgil? Hell! That’s like Succubus Lord.

I know that series front, back, and sideways. I’m getting ready to listen to three again (hint, hint). But when I’m going to sleep, I tell myself a bedtime story. I’m already on six and Jacob’s road into Hell. And if that ain’t the story of this existence, minus the hot succubi and other friends.

But let’s stay on topic, which for once ain’t B III. Who am I kidding? It’s always about Triple B. Only today can I focus on Virgil Vivi. Today, he is turning three. And if he’s anything like me, he’d belt out, “I’m still alive. Must have been a miracle.” Or a curse? As the “Good Book” says, we’re all damned anyway. Well, me always. All for my Little Braxton. But what about “my” Virgil?

Do you see what time it is? I can’t say it was the first thing I read. Next to mirrors, clocks are the worst things to look at. Because every second, I can see myself wasting “my” existence. It’s days like yesterday that show everyone else sees this worthless existence.

So I’m not even going to pretend to be happy for Virgil’s birthday? First, I’m never happy about anything. And second, I’ve been trying to be positive. What would make Virgil happy? I wonder. I wasted another seven dollars this morning, but I’m canceling plenty.

“OF” subscriptions? My Lady, particular kinks will do that. Didn’t I talk about my eyes being messed up sometime this week? If anything, I’m tired. And still, there’s time travel.

Only I didn’t think of that when I refused to stay for three extra hours at the Day Job. And you would think with the spare time I’d be finished reading a particular book, that’s um… how to describe it?

I won’t. But I’m so sick of reading about everyone else’s successes. But not any of my own. My Lady, I never burn books but could use the light from V’s B-Day candles. That is if I decide to get up and do anything for his third birthday. Good Luck. “The sun is up, the sky is blue. It’s beautiful, and so are you.” Well, it beats singing Happy Birthday.

Words on an invitation, a card, a gift. Suppose I had Booked Virgil’s Birthday, Braxton.

992 Days Without B III, Day 433 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 048 ~B’s Pillow, V’s Fight~

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Last week I spoke of money. I need a new pillow, and even if it’s the same as the old one, it won’t be B’s or even V’s. A new bed, collar, bowls for food and water, toys. As for me? Pants to keep on when I’m stressed. B’s Pillow, V’s Fight.

Thursday, August 18, 2022

Saga 048 ~B’s Pillow, V’s Fight~

564 Days Without B III, Day 005 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Mine is just beginning, and I have so much to ponder. 99 Problems. But pillows.

Shall we start with the obvious… “What the Hell are you talking about? Who are you talking to?” Are you somewhere in Heaven, The Rainbow Bridge, or warm in Hell? Or are you lying right here next to me? I swear I keep coming up with more reasons for Virgil. Then again, if this is you beside me, he can’t walk up the stairs. I’m already so tired, B III. He hacks every time I try and touch him. Do you recall how I had to get your heart meds? And I did mention being exhausted. I have to watch Virgil, or you like a hawk around the house. I don’t have any trust at all. Which led to two problems yesterday and this morning.

And why I’m so mad. Last night V or you had an accident on your pillow. So I thought I’d try to wash it. And well, as you can see. My heart broke, and I cried over dinner, B III. Well, the stress got to me this morning. Between a girl in pink panties and a video game… FUCK! I’m back to day one when I was on Day 27. Your Dad’s quite pathetic. Did I mention I’m also broke? It’s M Anime’s birthday. Happy Birthday, M Anime! But you never met her B. If this is you beside me, you could meet her one day. If not, well, never. Yet I don’t think of her as your aunt. Talk about women and “dirty pillows.”

So we’ve had references from “The Truman Show” and now “Carrie.” V or you and I have yet to watch a movie together. It’s only been 5 days. Instead of crying or what I did this morning… Hell! I would have been better off shopping for pillows, but I’m looking. As always, I want to go back to bed. Which I did for a while. When I woke up, somebody needed a bathroom break. If anything, I need a break period from my Republican ideas. “Send him back, send him back!” I go back and forth. Only how could I do that to you if this is you? The pillow is trashed, and I’m hiding the bed. Laying down or fighting? B’s Pillow, V’s Fight.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 308 ~From B To Ph.D.~

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I didn’t put B in any dog training. How do I expect to put kids through medical school? Um, that would require babies and, before that, a woman. For the record, I’m pro-choice. But my firstborn, even without the pomp and circumstance. From B To Ph.D.

Thursday, May 5, 2022

Chronicle 308 ~From B To Ph.D.~

459 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Considering when I’m writing this, you know how my day is going. Lazy ass right!

You would suggest a walk. Now that’s funny. You would often make a decree, demand, dammit, daddy, what is wrong with you. Of course, you had your look for the third one. Do you want to know what I was doing besides another nap B III? Too much info B. Disgusting! That would be a no, my friend. But if I were outside with you? If I let you secure your territory on days like today. Hell, how would I know other than it’s hot? Braxton, I would have cut the air conditioner on by now. Can’t have you see me walking around like this. Then again, I keep asking, like the song goes, “Where’d you go.” I need to find a new book ASAP.

That would lead me to the couch, wouldn’t it? Well, the loveseat. Braxton, this may sound a bit creepy, but you need to say hi to your Aunt Carolina. The 4th was her Birthday. Star Wars Day B III. How did I celebrate either? Well, I did get your Aunt a few books B. As far as Star Wars, I tried, honestly. I drifted in and out of sleep; the fucking Day Job B. Besides you sitting on the foot of the bed at your post. I miss our couch time the most, B. There were the days Braxton when I was trying meditation; to stop this morning’s antics. I keep going back to books. Then there was me and your Aunt’s movie nights, right.

Then there’s me lying here sipping cranberry juice. Herbal tea, water, cappuccino, and chicken noodle soup. I don’t know if I’m trying to keep myself alive or join you, Braxton. 459 days, and you’re still sitting on the nightstand. A testament to my veterinary degree. Yeah, that’s right, I don’t have one. And even if I did… As always, I blame no one but me. You, on the other hand. Well, you were never one for formal education. Daddy’s laziness. No training for you, but you looked after me. Do you still? Even with you gone these past 459 days, I’m failing you. The Mental, Physical, and Emotional all of it, but when you needed me. With my STUPID Day Job. From B To Ph.D.

Gospel 308 ~When Braxton Throws Shade~

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 304 ~Ways To B Bad~

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“Bad” things I’ve spent money on… pistol, porno, plenty of food (B was always hungry.) His Aunt, though, fixed him a cake so full he actually threw in the towel. I got gifts to buy with birthdays and a week to endure and survive. “Ways To B Bad”

Sunday, May 1, 2022

Chronicle 304 ~Ways To B Bad~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but is it sad, mad, or bad that you aren’t as well? With mornings like this, right.

It’s sad that you didn’t participate in Camp NaNoWriMo last month, not a day. “For the First Time in Forever.” If you haven’t been listening to Succubus Lord, play Disney. Speaking of Disney, don’t forget to buy Braxton’s Aunt a little bit of each for her birthday on Star Wars Day. With all the reasons to be sad, what’s one more. The fact that you won’t be spending this one in front of the TV. Hell! Like Succubus Lord, you know the stories so well that you could listen and never be lost. “And isn’t it ironic… don’t you think?” I talk about not being lost, but you won’t listen to me. Makes me wonder why you woke up late. That and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Pawverbs for a Dog Lover’s Heart: Inspiring Stories of…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 000 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Because it’s mad to wake up to failure at the beginning of every week. Hell, it’s mad to get up at all some mornings. You don’t want to go sounding like Cherry now. B would never forgive me for that. I’ve said often enough he spent his life protecting me always. And as the song goes, “He Lives In You.” I swear three different Disney references. From Frozen, The Lion King, and (sigh) Star Wars. You’re trying hard not to forget your friends, or at least Yabbos you haven’t seen, with M Anime and Cherry. M Anime talks about “going soldier.” It’s madness that we all haven’t with life. One more reason you continue studying death. “Perpetually trapped… in a never-ending spiral.” Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering…
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Even knowing this is bad. But yeah, it was getting a little too cute. Either way, both get you into trouble, and it’s not like you’re going to listen to me anyway. Last week’s lessons. Take Monday, for example. You shouldn’t wait so long to get help. The money spent… On that note, 20 X 52 is 1,040. You hate math. So honor B III without the food and treats? I’d ask you to lay off “adult entertainment,” but this week brings its “humiliations galore.” So while you’re getting gifts for Carolina. And imagining Cherry with nothing on, buy something… I don’t know what, but don’t give the Day Job this Day (sigh). Inevitable. You and Braxton, Bad Boys For Life. Ways To B Bad

Gospel 304 ~Will You Just B~

455 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 227 ~Birthday Score Of Seventeen~

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I don’t remember Leveling Up to seventeen, nor do I want to. If I had my way, Braxton at seventeen would be smooshed between his human siblings and would be thinking. “I’m getting too old for this shit.” But as of today… “Birthday Score Of Seventeen”

Sunday, February 13, 2022

Chronicle 227 ~Birthday Score Of Seventeen~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I don’t need a birthday wish. Now you and the birthday boy? All together now, LIVE!

I knew there was something missing yesterday. Um, clear streets, a new phone case, cappuccino mix, my dignity? Stuff you don’t have to worry about. No, it was some tape. I’m sure there is some around here, but where did the money disappear. Braxton’s gift? Something cheap, you know, as you think the fifteenth or sixteenth; those are the big birthdays? Hell, the only people who remember are the daycare/hotel he stayed in that one time in 2019. Aunt Carolina’s wedding. The third longest time that you and B were ever apart. The second, sigh. Your tears are starting early this morning, and that’s not only because you’re so tired. Today there is no time for that. Hell to be Braxton’s Daddy now, a decent human being. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “It’s Not Putting Me Down It’s Lifting Me Up” Kate McGahan
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 000 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

378 Days to honor Braxton and in the past seven… I know I haven’t done shit. Yesterday I was ready to go off on the KARENS. What’s the song from Tobe Nwigwe? Unfollow Me. It would have been something to save a life. On the day that Braxton was born? You know you’re still unsure this was the day, but it is the one that you chose to honor him, and you know why. Valentine’s day is tomorrow. Braxton was the closest thing to love. Strange that even now, in thinking that again. Do you know how they say God is Love? A Dog is Love. And if Braxton is not the word of God… Anyway, How To Save A Life. Revenge, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “Pawprints on our Hearts” Kerk Murray
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You want to walk into PetSmart one day with a life saved and look those KARENS right in the eye. Yeah, you hate me, I hate you, so I found love elsewhere. Revenge, sigh. Not right at all for the seventeen-year-old that you mourn today. Love from love, right? Well, besides buying tape, so you don’t have to sing. I should have bought some cake. Dammit, the only thing I was thinking about was The STUPID Bowl and chicken. And yup, you have that and The Walking Dead and prepping for this week. My Condolences. But today is about Braxton. There’s no cake, missing seventeen candles, no day of dog movies. Nothing but some cheap chew toys and a broken Daddy. Birthday Score Of Seventeen.

Gospel 227 ~To Braxton’s Sweet Sixteen~

378 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 226 ~Because You Forgot Again~

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What will I forget today? I wish it was, going to PetSmart. I like fur babies, but then a table full of KARENS. I know I won’t be there for long. The day before The STUPID Bowl, TWD, and it’s B’s Birthday. Valentine’s Day? “Because You Forgot Again.”

Saturday, February 12, 2022

Chronicle 226 ~Because You Forgot Again~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so as the song goes, “Where is my mind?” Jerking off someplace. These next three days…

Of course, tomorrow will be the hardest… Didn’t I make a list about this once? Lu, let’s focus on today. Instead of thinking of friends, as the song goes, “I got enemies,” you know. Lunalesca, I’m full of music today. “Just one more peaceful day.” I haven’t had one in 377 days. Hell, even when B was here, to be honest, but “Endure and Survive.” That’s not a thought I need right now. If you want any gratitude from me, I’m not hurt body-wise. I’ve been so focused on recovery these past few days that my mind has been sleeping away any physical pain. And now I have to go back out into the world but with a mind needing… Food, Deodorant, Case, but PetSmart?

Here I am thinking about other fur babies, but what about mine? As always, I am presently in the hole for $321.00. So much for a tax refund, huh. My car, myself, my little Braxton. You didn’t think I was going to celebrate The STUPID Bowl, right? Sunday, Lady Luna. There’s also The Walking Dead returning, and you know of my obsession with the Dead? I should celebrate Braxton turning seventeen. His “birthday” is on Sunday. Good food, “buffalo wings,” seem prudent for all three occasions. Being hungry Lunalesca? Dammit! Yeah, I didn’t eat much last night. I was so disappointed in myself for what I did. I wasn’t thinking of my son at all. Bless him, he never said a word, but I check.

When I reach for a towel, getting out of the shower. As I’m getting into bed and Braxton isn’t next to me. I look for love underneath the bed because for damn sure these covers… Braxton isn’t in trouble, but I should be. Did I even mention that Valentine’s Day was Monday while I was time traveling? I’m always rushing into the quickest pain, Lunalesca. What doesn’t kill you, THEY say? I want it to, or at least I’m so exhausted I get more sleep. Braxton’s Aunt is married. I told one of the girls Cherry wanted me to chill. I could have got something for M Anime but too late? The love of my family, my son. Joy And Pain, Because You Forgot Again.

Gospel 226 ~Did Braxton Get Taller~

377 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will