Log 110 ~Nice Day For Will~

Is it sad that lying in bed and going to my friend’s wedding sound equally appealing but 750+ miles, like the movie Only The Strong one way or another I’m getting in that car and driving another three miles? Nice Day For Will

Saturday, October 19, 2019

Log 110 ~Nice Day For Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s a nice day for a white wedding. Well, how Indiana Gone tells it, more for a Hawaiian dress. She’s Lilo, and she found her Stitch. In honor of today, I want to keep things positive. Talk about the impossible right, sore foot, forgot my chain, spilled food in bed, no condoms, and so on.

I’m still worried about the house’s many flips from my father. Norton is getting on my nerves. My son is in the hands of strangers, getting his heart meds. What about the drive back, that’s no fun, not at all.

Even now, Lady Lu, I’m getting ready to drive over to the venue. Yes, I’m a control freak, and I have to make sure I can make it there and back. We’re talking three miles when I drove over 750 in one day. What about leaving all my stuff here, but I don’t trust any damn body (LANGUAGE). Did I offend The Bride last night, between my foot, forgetfulness, and fatigue? At least I won’t have to worry about dinner tonight, but I’ve barely kept anything down. I’m all for Subway and helping my fellow man, but I still threw away half a sub. So is that it, am I done complaining? I only want to get it all out before I head into this wedding this afternoon. I should smile my fucked-up smile (LANGUAGE). I did text M. Anime back and got myself ready to go. Lady Lu with today well, This Is It.

Funny, I think of Michael Jackson; I owe The Bride a dance. The weather is nice, and again with my foot, it doesn’t hurt so much. The bed here is comfy, and I did get a bit of breakfast. Now that was something I didn’t dare to do at the Courtyard by Marriott. I should feel like I’m ready to take on the world, well 750 miles of it, right. Even talking to you right now because I’m sure I’ll be entirely out of it by tonight. No drinking and driving Lady Lu; besides I drank with Indiana Gone once, one glass of wine, and I’m a lightweight. Later that night and that morning I was praying at the Porcelain Altar. Okay, I’m going to have fun today, I’m going to be SHUDDERS Happy. You should add “Merge” to my lists of dirty words, Luna.

Today, Nice Day For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 109 ~The Stories, Will Tell~

So many tales to tell and so little time or no energy because when you’re fighting fear; well, at least I can say I won, but what about tomorrow and the next day. What is my Firstborn doing; I hope he gets a chance to tell. The Stories, Will Tell heh

Friday, October 18, 2019

Log 109 ~The Stories, Will Tell~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that’s only one more story. You know how I am with my motivations, so I am grateful to be alive to tell them. Honestly, though, I don’t know what to say. Am I scared, humiliated, exhausted, all of the above and then some? I guess I can say I beat the bastard (Language). Now that particular fellow is FEAR, still waiting for round two. What about my Olds, I knew it was a matter of time before they called checking-in dammit (Language). There is also an email from dear Norton.

I’m too tired to go over any of that, Lady Sophia. Did I mention that I’m mad as Hell, but that’s no surprise? I forget things, I still carry hope, and even when I’m fighting back FEAR, I always screw up. Does it matter how you win a fight against your demons? It does when you have someone you care for, no doubt. I may hate my “old man,” but I could never picture him behaving as I did today. Only one more reason my Firstborn is safe and sound. Hell, my mother is talking to my father right now, and “my place” is a literal crime scene. What is it about people being into me and at the same time not? Again I always carry that hope, and yet I don’t have any condoms and no prospects. I am in my purest form right now, words and nothing else.

I wonder what Indiana Gone would think if she saw me now. I’m shivering, starving, and seeing ghosts. No, I’m not dead yet, but I did give it the good college try. The funny thing is I was trying to stay alive. Well, I did Yoda proud because I was doing that, I’m still right here. I should crack open “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.” Now all I can remember is Day-Tight Compartments, but with everything today? I want to tell you everything, but this story is still in the making. Okay, if I had a list only for tonight, something like this:

  1. Find Food
  2. Answer M Anime
  3. Look Up Indiana Gone’s plans
  4. Play TWD and attempt to recover

I’ll have far too much time to worry, my son, my privacy, the journey here.

Makes me miss my foot hurting, The Stories, Will Tell

I Will Have No Fear

Log 107 ~Must Go Faster Will~

Last week I talked about the open road, got my driver’s license renewed, found my way to my kid’s hotel, and even visited with my Olds, good thing I got the car fixed, but where am I off to now? Must Go Faster Will.

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Log 107 ~Must Go Faster Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Billionaire right now, so sorry Bernie Sanders I want mine. For now, I’ll settle with being fearless, the impossible dream I know. Hell, what I did today I would have at one point said was impossible. A rite of passage if you will, like losing your virginity, getting a job, or getting married. The things I will do for a woman as always. So what is it I did today besides make my Firstborn look like a hippie, or is it Bohemian? You know I wish I could tell you, it’s too humiliating Inspector.

It’s something to the tune of Franklin Clinton’s first “job.” Am I the only one who walks into a bank and thinks how to take one down. No Inspector Echo, but I would have been paying somebody all sorts of money when I was downtown today. If anything, I would have died well dressed, and let’s not get started on my driver’s license photo. It’s how I felt at the time, all wide-eyed and panicked, which explains why I’m not sleeping. I’ve seen everything today, and even my Olds didn’t scare me as much as my actions. You want embarrassing, asking everyone about my shirt. Scared to put on my Firstborn’s collar because he hates getting dressed. Was he tacky at TheDogStop that the ladies gave me another collar for him? It was free, but nearly wrecking today on the highway wouldn’t be I know.

I’m still “trying” to read How To Stop Worrying And Start Living. Strange I was living by one of the principles, imagine the worst, accept it, improve it too. I’m sitting there thinking, the worst thing that could happen is I die. I’m not suicidal, Inspector Echo. It was sort of like GTA when flying a plane. Taking off and landing, that’s the hard part. Once you’re coasting along, well you have time to reflect. I won’t lie to you Inspector Echo I’m still scared. The thing is I didn’t die, and I know what I did must be done. I know if I expect to have a wife and a family if I want to get anywhere in the world. My little boy faced his fear so why can’t I? Eric Thomas talks about running towards the fight, and I’ve been running away forever.

Sorry, if I want the world, Must Go Faster Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 106 ~Looking For Mr. Will~

Yes another long nap today and then a fashion shoot courtesy of Amazon shopping and getting some hoots and hollers from the ladies, which was a bit of fun, still I’m looking for what all the fuss was about in the mirror. Looking For Mr. Will now

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Log 106 ~Looking For Mr. Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but love is a gift. Well, love is plenty of things, to be honest. You know I’m one for music, but I will say that Aloe Blacc’s song “Wake Me Up” annoys me a bit. Not that I’m so tired at this point but more the lyrical content. “Love is the prize” for some reason I don’t agree. When I first met my Firstborn and yeah “our” firstborn, it was love at first sight. I saw this little ball of fluff held by a monster without a trace of fear. Strange that you didn’t think much of me either with our first, and I love you.

Is it me being a fan of Creed, that I could understand. Still, when I saw our child, I found myself thinking, “With Arms Wide Open.” You know, “I hope he’s not like me; I hope he understands.” I don’t only mean in the looks department, we’ve been down that road before. Someone once said that the more they try to understand women, the less they know. Even with all my business dealings, I share the sentiment. A great man said don’t try because women understand women and they hate each other. You know I love women; well you most of all and my girls. My Firstborn’s wife, I’m still hoping for puppies someday. Anyway to be the man that has all of this; I don’t know, I’m not seeing him in the mirror now.

One woman called me suave. Don’t get jealous, my love. All the songs are going to get me in trouble one day. Jay-Z said males shouldn’t be jealous that’s a female trait. Still surprises me when you get that way. Yeah, I should probably stop talking now. I should be more like Akon; when I was listening to “Never Gonna Get It. Here I am busy modeling, and you know I’m one for hoodies and NaNoWriMo t-shirts. Getting ready for Indiana Gone’s wedding, and I have to get all suave. Beats a few other choice words I could think of this evening. No matter the bank account, though, I’m still going to be the guy in jeans and a hoody. Forever and always I’ll be yours. You know anything though I want to see that guy staring back SIGH someday.

Mr. Will will see you now, Looking For Mr. Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 105 ~Always Beware The Patient Woman~

If a woman ever asked me to get to the point, in my best Akon voice, I’d break out with, “You already know I want to…” (Language) yeah I know, but women have a lot more patience than I. “Always Beware The Patient Woman” plenty of fish in the sea

Monday, October 14, 2019

Log 105 ~Always Beware The Patient Woman~

Hundred And Sixth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now though it took patience. Only that’s nothing compared to some woman out there waiting for me to come and find her one day. Does that make me sound somewhat creepy, stalkerish, and skeevy? I’ll end up blocked again? Hell, I had a funny thought at Chick-fil-A only this afternoon. You think my views on women are complicated; I’m confused about chicken places. Anyway, I got this idea that I only want to make a woman happy someday.

You remember, well, I can’t say her name either, but I sought God to be with her at one point. It’s the reason now I usually ignore holy roller women despite the sex appeal. I don’t have time to walk the line between Heaven and Hell. I’ve already made my decision, depending on your viewpoint. I think that’s where women get it wrong, believing a man can change. Dennis Hof would say something to the tune of, I gotta be me, two read-throughs, and the audiobook. He told women the truth, and I do as well; okay, let’s not talk about Pinterest. Sometimes it scares me to death and others it knows me too well. Still, I talk about running all over the place for a woman, married, about to be. One more giving her life to Christ SIGH. Could it be I’m only trying to find her sooner rather than later, dear Madam Justice?

I’ve said so many times I want to be someone worthy, and that never matters to women. Looking in the mirror this morning I still saw my messed up teeth and bloodshot eyes. You were waiting for me to come and talk to you this evening. I missed another model, or at least she’s not speaking to me, but I wasn’t so excited anyway. At some point this week I’ll have to face my mother. The Prodigal son, yeah what’s my age again, though my Alamo fund is nearly zero. One more woman doing anything to make her happy with my trip. Only What I wouldn’t give to have some pretty “Taylor Townsend” looking me up. Oh yeah, I’m making that so much harder thank you, Facebook. I’m hiding until I find the courage, coming out of my cage, ha.

I want her to come with me now. Well, okay enough music, don’t you think. Always Beware The Patient Woman.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 104 ~What Paper WILL Do~

Every day I ask myself what I want to write tomorrow; I suppose that’s why my blog is no good, too busy living in the past, and the future, but hell, I was up at six, and only my furry kid is next to me. “What Paper Will Do?”

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Log 104 ~What Paper WILL Do~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m never going back again. Neither are you, being that boy who thought $200.00 was enough. Hell for $300.00, you wanted a little ass and nice tits. Will that was only eight years ago, and you know what you’ve feared ever since. Just takes two little words, “you’re fired.” One more reason you’re a writer, you’ve seen what the right paper can do with the wrong words. The right paper, the right time, but the wrongest words possible. Is Negan a suitable role model these days?

Anyway, after those school days were done, why should you fear any writing? Let’s start with how you ended last night, the Governor, aka Fandom Spotlite correcting me about Fair Use. If anything, I’m ashamed I sounded like Trump both not knowing or straight-up lying. Now I brought up school, and grades didn’t lie. Yes, you know you can’t live in the past, but that’s the thing. I go walking into a store, and still, people look at me “strange,” and then they have to speak. STUPID is still a dirty word and FAILURE is worst than Fuck (LANGUAGE). Of course, we have this list of six impossible things that you look at every single week. It never goes away, and even now, you wonder what you’re going to do now. Well, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Preparing For Indiana Gone’s Wedding
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Failed

Number five for the win and the bare minimum. It’s no secret even now you’re a scrooge and still so hoity-toity. Grandma might have had a point about your pride. Make no mistake; you deserve five-stars. Nevertheless, you’re willing to settle for three, Courtyard By Marriott. Now you’ll go for two as green paper trumps reviews. Again you could be wrong because your comfort is one thing but spare no expense for your Firstborn. Why not bring him along than leaving him with strangers? The place could have five stars and still wouldn’t be good enough for him. On the other side, you have never succeeded in being the father he deserves. Every piece of paper has called you a failure or the person writing is a liar. Only you are with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Survive The Week
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

I know what I want from you. Will, you know what you want from yourself. It’s never a secret, it’s here and black and white. You understand the power above everything What Paper Will Do.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 103 ~Will’s Super Toy Run~

What’s the game plan, but even now I only want to sleep; what is it about sex and horror as the song goes that wakes me up and at the same time exhausted me unless you have unlimited access aka money. Will’s Super Toy Run, or not?

Saturday, October 12, 2019

Log 103 ~Will’s Super Toy Run~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so you figure I’d be happier. After getting the car fixed Thursday, I had that brief inkling of being a successful adult. I said sometime this week that money turns me on. Of course, beautiful women as well. Is there anything sexier than good men that can handle their business? The only time I bother to look at myself in the mirror. Hell Lady Lu, I would trade my face for the wallet of dude that does Naughty Midwest Girls. How about whoever does hentai games like Hentai Key, Virgin Roster, and one I can’t thunder.

The only thing that should be loud today is my fingers hitting keys. Don’t I wish, but there will be crinkling dollars and dropped coins. I’m headed into the home stretch trying to be a good man and a terrific friend. Doesn’t that mean stop wanting to offer MILF Dos money and stop looking for models for now? Nope another found me only yesterday, but I’m not putting up another ad on Craigslist for a while. It was like entering a contest; “There’s a thousand pretty women waitin’ out there,” as Elvis sang. I’m not that old Lady Luna. I am old enough to remember Nickelodeon’s Super Toy Run. Was that once a year maybe but Supermarket Sweep was on the daily. Honestly, though, what do I need today to get where I’m going soon?

  1. Red Dress Shirt, Black Pants, A Pair Of Shoes
  2. Portable Battery
  3. Supplies For My Firstborn
  4. Groceries For The Week or Weak
  5. Something I Might Want To Get Laid In hmm
  6. Wedding Gift For Friend
  7. Holder For My Smartphone

You know how I am with my list, but this one I can’t ignore? I should have said that an hour or so ago all the alarms I ignored. Sunday to Friday, making money, and wouldn’t my book be a fix-it button. Right now, I’m like Hey Arnold in that episode, “The List.” How badly do I want to show off my age today? There was a time the Toy Run would be the best day ever, or when I thought $200.00 would make me a king. Again when I’m not admiring model agents, guys who have young women shoot porn, or brothel owners, I’m only a man. I wish I could buy a bunch of stuff to play with; someone, Will’s Super Toy Run.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 102 ~Penning, Petting, Punching, Will~

My week has been a punishing one, to say the least, when it should be a publishing one but shouldn’t they all be; you can tell that to the people I work for, wasn’t I supposed to be off today, nope. Penning, Petting, Punching, Will, I think

Friday, October 11, 2019

Log 102 ~Penning, Petting, Punching, Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now or at least pretending this is living. When’s the last time I even saw the Den, having confined myself to bed. In sickness and in health, but that’s more Indiana Gone’s thing at the moment. If I were getting married, I would love getting lost in a hotel room and a pretty little wife for a few days. Not sleeping, ha.

I can’t say I have been working on wedding vows ever. When I was walking my Firstborn today, I was working on political speeches. Once upon a time, I wished to be the Secretary of Defense. Hell my mentor, wasn’t only a Pimp but ran for office and won after death. In all honesty, if given such a choice though I would still be a provider of beautiful women than the President. You deal with people, but as I show, I do a lot for pussy (LANGUAGE). You know how I get with alliteration, and I haven’t been working on Pinterest. What about my terrific model search? I need to go ahead and publish the book first. I’m a writer even here in my bed because the car was again, very expensive. The pen is mightier than the penis, perhaps.

My Firstborn is quite understanding of my exhaustion. From sitting in waiting rooms to shopping for food, friends, and fighting spirit. The Day Job is wiping me out, but yeah I need the money. For the first time in some time, I can say I worked over forty hours. My motivations would say be grateful. Of course everyone else would add, hello this is America and welcome to it boy. My son, though, deserves extra petting with everything happening now.

Life is hard, which is simply a fact. Every day Lady Sophia it’s as if I am at war with myself fighting to be something more. All my motivations would say be yourself, and The Matrix shows know thyself. Now here I am writing, and I ask the question, do you see me changing or evolving at all. I could always check and see who I was at this time three years ago. If I’m honest I think it would hurt to see. Again life is hard, and the truth hurts, repeated lessons as always My Lady. I told Cherry, I’m a reflective gangbanger, quite often Penning, Petting, Punching, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 100 ~Will Man, Real Man~

I told myself last year that a car would be the least of my troubles because I would be a millionaire and today I’m “complaining” about being out on the open road, and you know I’m a Scrooge when it comes to shoes. “Will Man, Real Man”

Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Log 100 ~Will Man, Real Man~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Billionaire right now, and have I ever mentioned, not a car guy. Inspector Echo, I swear when I “live the dream” I won’t have a dozen cars. Hell, I have made it a life goal that I’ll never leave my house again when I’m successful. Now, this is coming from a man that wants to own brothels, a strip club, a studio. Let’s not forget those modeling agencies both here and in Europe. The keyword there is man. I’m Will man, not a wheelman, and being real man SIGH?

I feel used and abused, damn near robbed, the people you can’t trust. How about something out of the Game Of Thrones, the things we do for love. Indiana Gone is one of my best friends, but love? You know I despise most of the people at the Day Job. I am no fan of Mazda at this second. So here I am being robbed to reach one. I’m Losing to be a loser at the other. Okay, Rule 15 states “I Take My Own Lumps” at Mazda. It’s called being an adult isn’t it Inspector Echo? I want to have a Bobby Hill moment and say “I quit.” Don’t get me wrong I am taking responsibility, what’s wrong with the car is my fault. Waiting to go to my friend’s wedding, I’m to blame. Not having the courage to escape a job that I can’t stand, yeah that’s all me Inspector Echo. Still not even a little bit, not even at all am I, as stated before, a wheelman.

I’m only Will, but the thing is I’m looking for more. Being a greedy S.O.B and that’s not changing anytime soon. You know I talk about my Firstborn all the time; am I the best daddy ever. I say it every week, the answer is no, but I want to be his hero. Only when it comes to the women in my life? Now and then, I miss wanting to be the knight on the white horse. The truth is, I want to know acceptance as one of the horsemen of the apocalypse. Why not something out of Disney Prince Ali Ababwa? Then again sticking with music, running is the story of my life, Run boy run, and I’m running on empty no doubt Echo.

Apologies because of all I am, Will Man, Real Man?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 099 ~Will Of Your Life~

Well, it wasn’t laziness today, but crippling anxiety and exhaustion; people don’t understand how tiring stupidity can be, and I mean theirs for once, because I wasn’t a minstrel today. Still, I need a fan or two, more; “Will Of Your Life.”

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Log 099 ~Will Of Your Life~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now but still greedy. What can I say, I want, I need, I love? Am I one of those that can only focus on me, My Love. Once upon a time I had myself a Christian phase. You know, in such faith, God never gets enough love. Now I could never find him, but when I woke up from my comatose nap, you know who I looked up suddenly? Lawrence Welk; I have no clue who that is still. Anyway, back to my phase, I have memories of a song saying something like this, order my steps.

My mother would tell me I would find my way. I would have preferred if she told me to be a Simple Kind Of Man. Yes, you remember when I danced with her at our wedding. There’re several things I want to tell her, but I can’t. You above everyone else should know there are so many things I need to say. You married a writer, a director, and a dreamer. I did a bit too much dreaming this afternoon, but at least it’s not the old day job anymore. Again I need to be a better man than that. I look in the mirror and know I must Carry On My Wayward Son. What can I say? I love being a fanboy of certain things. I love my Firstborn and all of our kids. Even though life is “perfect,” now I still enjoy a good apocalypse and a decent ending. Always know that I love you so much, babydoll.

The point is, when will I be a fan of myself? I don’t know Lawrence Welk, but for some reason I looked him up today. I fell asleep, but I knew my Firstborn would be here and you, of course, but I still ask why. I’m not Dennis Hof (I want to be bigger, though). Christian Grey, I am not close, but that’s years of erotic reading talking. I want to be as comfortable on bookshelves as I am in “Novelty” stores. Still I want to be no I’ll Be the greatest fan of your life. Okay I should turn the music off, but yeah, that was Lawrence Welk’s thing. Mine would be loving you because somehow I found you one day, but were you waiting, or were you searching?

Loving you knew, I was the Will Of Your Life.

I Will Have No Fear