Gospel 080 ~Willie Gone Diddilly On~

She’s out of my life, it’s out of my life, and I’m no good with goodbyes, but neither is anyone else sadly. All I know are magicians, manifestations, and mistakes. Is it any wonder I’m into whips, chains, ropes, and fabric. “Willie Gone Diddilly On.”

Saturday, September 19, 2020

Gospel 080 ~Willie Gone Diddilly On~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. This means besides Target and 5-hour ENERGY, add Pinterest to my sickness and rage. Now don’t sound I “presidential” going to war with some company. So like Trump with Tik Tok. Today, I’ll be pretty selfish.

Sure, I could talk about the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, may she rest in peace. There’s also how angry I’m being to with Dæmon since he growled at me yesterday. Hell, I’m still a little perturbed by how rude I was to that internet salesman last Friday at Walmart. At the Day Job, one of the managers told me I can’t go around ignoring people. Today and every other, I’m supposed to be a father. I can’t stay in a rage forever, which is one more reason I’m always exhausted. That and fear, finding out my Pinterest was suspended.

A second time Lady Lu, and there won’t be a third. All of that “work” and like finding out about some girl in the middle of the night. She’s gone. It’s gone, and I’m going to be sick. I don’t know how to speak the feeling. It’s like I’m slamming into the ground, trying to bury myself or find a staircase right into Hell. I need some sleep, but at the same time, I can’t close my eyes. My stomach is empty, and at the same time, I want to puke my guts out. The only way I’ll find them.

I keep going back to the words from my big “sister” as always. “You can’t build a strip club next to a school.” I didn’t do something so heinous, and at the same time, I declare guilt, my many sins. I did finishing reading that W. Anton book yesterday, so shouldn’t I be a man about this? If anything, I should shut-up talking to you and the girls about, well anything. I could lose this blog tomorrow, lose another profile whenever. I haven’t felt this bad since… MILF Dos, the Rainbow Girl, All The Jazz, my last Pinterest, was taken.

How I need to remember how I got over that one. Didn’t I tell you before my aunt said I wanted to destroy the world? I’m not looking to gain the world but to buy back my soul. My soul was before me, then poof. Pictures worth thousands of words all Willie Gone Diddilly On.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 079 ~Willy, That’s So Interesting~

Can’t say I have been reading a whole lot unless it was written on a body part. I’ve promised to read at least ten books this year, and I’ve barely gotten through eight. Do I have any other hobbies? “Willy, That’s So Interesting.”

Friday, September 18, 2020

Gospel 079 ~Willy, That’s So Interesting~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should already be invested in several businesses. Perhaps this is blasphemy, but being a southern man, I don’t think I’ve ever been inside a Hobby Lobby. I’ve never gone through an episode of Game Of Thrones all the way. Neither did I care for The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Wasn’t it just yesterday I said I didn’t like sports and I hate football. Ok, somebody wants to cut up my “Southern Card” right now. What you’ve never watched “It’s A Southern Thing” hm?

Now I didn’t mean to go in this way (maybe I did with the title.) Well, a great man said, “vote with your crotch.” Brains have their moments, guts too. Your heart can be broken. Your naughty bits, though, always know what they want. What is most pleasing to man? One of my motivations talks about this. You move towards your desire. Why do I know about GoT… Maisie Williams, Sophie Turner, Emilia Clarke, Natalie Dormer, Nathalie Emmanuel. I could go on. With Rocky Horror, “Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me.” football, of course, has cheerleaders, Abbey Brooks, Alanah Rae, Kagney Linn Karter. Yes, all actresses but such are my interests and:

Reading, Writing, Poetry, Short Stories, Novels, Music, Apocalptypic tunes from the 40s – 60s, Hiking, Movies, Pets, Anime, Youtube, Blogging, Video Games, Research, Zombie Survival, Virtual Reality, Girlfriend Reviews, WWE, Art, Paintball, Camping, Board Games, Meditation, Journaling, Learning About Electronics Laser Tag, Larping, Cosplay, Comic-Con, Looking For Models, Making Adult Videos AEE, BDSM, Sex Toys, Erotica…

Is that all? Hell, Trump slept with Stormy Daniels, and I find her Yabbos quite interesting. Trump’s the president but a white man who wants to be in charge. That ain’t new by any stretch of the imagination. Now my survival… let’s not go there, but people as a whole? I should show more interest, but who does in me, other than to make sure I’m not “stalking” them. It’s a difference between caring for Yabbos and them as a person. Either way ends up screwing me up, to be sure. So what’s the balance, is there such a thing? Lucky “I got that magic you call ADD” as the song goes. Well, I shouldn’t say that, and as a matter of fact, I’m not fond of the word interesting. People have nothing to say.

Like any books I’m writing… well, Willy, That’s So Interesting.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 077 ~Turn On The Will~

I’ve been in the zone writing today or more to the point, making three lists and checking them twice. Now it’s only September, and the Christmas stuff is coming into the Day Job, and here I am with a “wish list?” Turn On The Will.

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Gospel 077 ~Turn On The Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which would actually put me ahead of the 1%. How I wish money turned me on as much as hmm… Let’s say Thora Birch’s Yabbos in American Beauty. Now before I go apologizing for the thought because today ain’t Thursday. Hell, Inspector Echo, it’s not even Wednesday. Only today, we’re chatting away. The wonders of time-travel, or should I say hard work. Even if it’s only 1200 words between you, Dear Future Wife, and Madam Justice.

What should I apologize for? It’s using you and the other ladies to get my such and such project off the ground. It’s like I’m back on one of those dating sites or something. The question is, has anything changed about me? It’s like I’m some Playmate listing Turn Ons and Turn Offs. Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag as far as Turn Ons go. If anything, this is only one more step or the wiggling of my big toe as it were. You know everything I want out of life besides piles of money. Only here I am about to spell it out to save time in more ways than one.

A good cook, Beautiful singing voice, Affectionate, Empathy, Intelligence, Reading books, Appreciation, Laying my head in her lap, Loves movies, Likes to watch video games, Kindness, Eclectic in music, A good listener, Able to be quiet, My dog likes her, Wearing my shirts, Serving as inspiration, Sitting in my lap, Brunettes, Dark Hair, Dirty Talk, Matching lingerie I can tie her up in, Cosplay, Pigtails, Glasses, Schoolgirl look, Any colorful clothing that can serve as ties, Thigh Highs, Knee Socks, Hentai, Likes watching porn, Hentai, Teen, Sex Dolls, Toys, Voyeurism, Submissiveness, Summer Dresses, Exhibitionism, BDSM, Ravishment, Chokers/Collars, Littles/Middles, Talking Fantasies.

I told someone some days back, if you want your house clean, say to a man he’ll get laid. Looks like something else Steve Harvey got wrong; remember Family Feud. I will blank for sex. Make no mistake. Still, I agree with him on the other answers. I’m saying what it took for me today to get up and do all this writing, so yabbos? Yeah, being verified and putting all my business out in the street. I didn’t take a nap though today because I’ve been all focused and tuned in the zone, yep. Sorry, Turn On The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 076 ~Will He Get Likes~

Tell me about yourself? If only you knew how hard it is to come up with shows and movies. Yeah, I’m an open book, but I find out I’m not that likable when I’m being honest. Well, this is honest, but… “Will He Get Likes,” maybe with a special someone.

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Gospel 076 ~Will He Get Likes~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because people are obsessed with me. Well, more to the point, I hope you are. Of course, I’m thinking in a Taylor Townsend sort of way… The O.C. I saw every episode of that show. One more thing I love about you is that I don’t have to explain all my pop culture references. From the poem Give Me A Chance by Beau Sia’s. Yes, I am a bit of a pop-culture whore. To Star Wars. And to this day, I still remember sending my second best friend home for falling asleep. That’s love.

The things I watch and read to those I dare to dream would make anyone want to run away. That’s why I’m an open book with you, My Love, but I keep in mind the words of my “Big Sister.” “You can’t build a strip club next to a school,” she told me. Of course, that was before we penned the best story I’ve ever had my name on. Even that, I can never share with the whole wide world daily. Maybe that’s why I’m needy? Um, that’s no good but my taste in media…

The Walking Dead, Fear The Walking Dead, WWE, Z Nation, Cobra Kai, Colony, Secret Girlfriend, Into The Badlands, Solitary, A Million Little Things, Containment, Ridiculousness, Firefly, Dead Like Me, Rahxephon, Girlfriend Reviews, Star Trek Deep Space Nine, Survivors, V, Samurai Champloo, Cowboy Bebop, How I Met Your Mother, Blue Gender, Battle Royale, A Quiet Place, In Time, Pontypool, Everything Everything, They Live, The Belko Experiment, Hunger, Star Wars Franchise, Marvel Franchise, Young Adult Franchises, Passengers, Nerve, Blindness, Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World, Dogma, Daybreak, Fifty Shades Of Grey, The Purge Franchise, Snowpiercer Franchise, Apocalyptic, Horror, Sci-Fi

Yes, I’m still working on my profile page, but I shouldn’t bring my work home. You kind of like my work, hell you’ve read, watched, and been a part of it for the record. All because I’m worried people don’t like me. Nevertheless, you love me very much, and what age are the kids again… teenage years SIGH. I must sound like a fossil sometimes, an old dusty book on the shelf. Still, you pick me up, and I’m not sad only; it will be a long day of hope.

Hoping is exhausting, love’s peaceful, but Will He Get Likes?

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 075 ~No Doesn’t Make You Cowardly

When I was a kid, the big thing was “Just Say No” to drugs, and as I grew older, everyone is trying to get you on something. If anything, I say no to myself all the time, but when it comes to everyone else? No Doesn’t Make You Cowardly

Monday, September 14, 2020

Gospel 075 ~No Doesn’t Make You Cowardly

Hundred And Fifty-Third Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and may that be one day be because of you. First off, welcome back, Madam Justice. Existence Day is now over and done with, and I am now one week into thirty-six. A part of me would like to scream out, much like Luke Skywalker, “No. No. That’s not true. That’s impossible!” My how the time flies, I tell ya. Speaking of time, no, I didn’t get up at 4:00 AM on one of my days off, but here we are. No, I’m not trying to do better because I’m asleep again when I acknowledge it aloud.

Look at me, destroying my point already. To this day, Madam Justice, I still feel guilty when I tell the Day Job no. I excuse myself by saying I get no respect there, which is true. Of course, there is always fear, and that is something I can never say no to with everything. How about my newest obsession, which I hope you will allow me to work on some, while we have our chat. What are you going to tell me, no? Madam Justice, I’d love for a girl to Just Say No, bye, and let’s not start with creepy or SKEEVE (shudders). No, is so small, hm? Yet the damage it can cause and how I understand more than most the power of words. Is this the reason I say no to my destiny? I’m going to be saying no today, considering everything that I have to do. Sunrise is at 6:30, and yes, I dicked around on my phone for about an hour. Pardon my language, which is another thing. I can’t say no to speaking evil about myself. However, working on my About Me page well:

“Hey, you ain’t never had a Friend Like Me. While this might not be Disney, depending on your taste. What are the odds you’ve ever met an African-American erotic writer who’s a guy and into the end of the world? My heroines are never that heroic, and my endings are “happyish.” I’m an open book, or I hope to be someday. I’m always looking to expand into other forms of adult entertainment. Manuscripts, models, and movies. Looking to make money and memories with mammaries, bazongas, yabbos. Down with black and white and not only paper.”

What do you think, Madam Justice? “Yes, no, maybe, I don’t know,” as the song goes. Well, it’s not what you were expecting, and I apologize. No, you’re not Inspector Echo but again, if some “people” would tell me NO. One of the reasons I look at myself as being so scary. Also, I’m terrified of the word when it comes out of my mouth. Better a slow yes than a fast no, I heard someone say. Either way, Madam Justice, I wish I could choose to be brave, but no, right? Yes, I’ll be afraid, yes I’ll go to the Day Job, and yes I’ll get this done but…

No Doesn’t Make You Cowardly.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 074 ~What Will It Take~

Every night I say the same thing, six hours, wake up at four, walk the dog when it’s just the two of us, and yet I’m not a billionaire yet, and I didn’t do any of those three things. So I’ve been Verified and have one goal, but SIGH What Will It Take

Sunday, September 13, 2020

Gospel 074 ~What Will It Take~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what’s taking you so long? God, you don’t know how much I want to scream at you right now, as one of your motivations. What is it going to take, what is it that is going to get you to change? Again what will it take? Entertaining the thoughts of fame and fortune, aren’t you? I mean, look at where you’ve been all morning? On that note, I should applaud you. At least you made it to the table, and you’re not sitting in front of the TV watching Far Cry 5 in so many days.

Do you remember when you joined TIBU (This Is By Us)? Yeah, in those days, I was whining like um… nevermind. Anyway, here you are, four years in, and it’s not that you don’t care. More to the point, you do this for you, and if somebody reads it well… Remember, Triond, which wasn’t a complete loss. At least you met M. Anime if she hasn’t blocked you yet. You’re sort of scared to check now. Don’t have an episode like me. When you’re checking your list of friends to see who has decided to leave and/or block you today. Now you have this new place, where Yabbos are more than welcome. Hell, you can scream your heart out but then again, pictures vs. words. You’re getting older, my friend. Binders full of Hentai was as good as it got once upon a time. Now keep it in your pants.

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 009 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them by W. Anton
    Failed

Yeah, that’s the only IMPOSSIBLE thing I was able to accomplish this week. The question is… no, I’m not inquiring anything, you are going to do better. Isn’t that what I said the night before? At this rate, you can’t even do an “About Me” page, and let’s be honest, it didn’t work for OkCupid. Well, I did find; okay, better not to even go down that road. The point is I want you to do something. One of my motivations said making a list is like a graveyard, and for how long have the same things been on the list? Of course, two of them never change. I need to be a better man and the best father. The Dæmon is going through his own trials and tribulations, but here’s yours, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them by W. Anton

The truth is only your Will. What Will It Take

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 073 ~It’s For The Wills~

The end of the week and nothing has changed. So why don’t I go out there and do something? I’ve asked before what am I waking up for, and while I love my Dæmon like pancakes, Yabbos, and um… line, oh yeah, writing. “It’s For The Wills”

Saturday, September 12, 2020

Gospel 073 ~It’s For The Wills~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what’s it all for? Fear, humiliation, the regrets that come later? It’s not for the cash because I would be published by now. Now Lady Lu, don’t give me that, you don’t write for the money. I have written plenty of stories I know won’t make a dime. My motivations say time and again to find out what you want. Now I know what I don’t want, and given the Law of Attraction, I won’t give them a voice. Still, what have I been doing today? Fixing my profile, a picture, and there’s Yabbos too.

How I deem myself a SADIST, but I’m more a masochist. “I’m just a sucker for pain,” as the song goes. Now I could be having a bout of depression on account of NO FAP, eight days. Yet here I am saying give me more. Am I a better man this week for anything, hm? It’s like finishing NaNoWriMo, I’m waiting for I don’t know what. The money to fall into my lap and dammit, I wish I could stop thinking about sex right now. That’s the thing with an addict; the first week is always the hardest. Oh, pardon my words, my dear Lu. It could be that I was trying to take my mind off “Existence Day.” Yeah, by offering MILF Dos $500 or Cherry €250. No, Bella Thorne, I’d pay for some BBW in the UK. Hell, the closest I’ve gotten to a present is Adam & Eve Bangin’ Betty Stroker Kit.

So pain, addiction, being broke, any more bad emotions I need to exorcise? The fact that I might get verified? How’s that for regret? Well, now I have a place for my language. On the other side, do I need people knowing all my secrets, and these are the worst. Humiliation at the Day Job… I still have some time off, and again am I doing anything to avoid such a fate? If anything Lady Luna, I’m trying to live, and that’s what I’m looking for. A reason to stay alive because I don’t feel it. Writing is life, but once this is all over. Yeah, there it is, the fear of what comes next, shopping, wasting the rest of the day. There are no thrills here, only the horror.

The horror, the horror. As always, It’s For The Wills

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 072 ~Writing Will Be Selfish~

I get accused of being prideful all the time but never selfish. Everyone knows what I spend money on, and I didn’t even go out for breakfast, but that was because of something else in my pants. “Writing Will Be Selfish,” and I should learn to shut up

Friday, September 11, 2020

Gospel 072 ~Writing Will Be Selfish~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m still learning all the rules. Leave it to Monday being “Existence Day,” that I didn’t cover one. I did look up such and such instructions. On fixing the lawn trimmer, an email from Pinterest, and verification from… a secret. I should also mention Lady Sophia besides my “projects,” the little I’ve said of my sister’s birthday. It came right after Existence Day. I’ve missed saying Happy Birthday a few times and Congratulations. Here’s something; today is one more year down from the 9/11 attacks.

Writing or more to the point, my writing is quite a selfish undertaking. Now you ask me how I can say that? For example, don’t I share our chats with the world? Well, maybe not as much as Dirty Diana’s, but I want people to read. Words are weapons, Sophia. Taking a look at Twitter, didn’t I put myself to the hazard. Hell, it was DoubleMarshmallow @EroMaximus that was naked. Still, I said I wanted to see, so doesn’t that make me… Yep better not to voice some things, speak goodness so ok then yeah. Now I’m always sharing those Tony Baker and John Hunt videos with friends. For a moment, I was about to add, isn’t that innocent? They’re currently less Disney channel and more “So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel” like the song.

In truth Lady Sophia, I wish I could be more selfish. Now ask me why My Dæmon is scratching at the door. Writing hurts both of us in time. Ok, I have been out cold after cutting the grass and why’s that. My “Father” and all his words, so I know such raw power hm. I look to Pinterest, I think about Milfs Dos and Tres, Cherry as well. No woman appreciates being written about in such a manner. It’s far better than acting as a panty dropper for other men. And pornorific cornucopia, which is some of my journals. Entertaining as my stories are to me, I know that they won’t be published. I swear this morning, wasn’t I listening to all my motivations? Lady Sophia, I even came up with a new plan. I doubt Skye Warren or S. Wolf stoop so low.

Speaking of S. Wolf AHEM “Sex Zombies,” which is how I’ve been feeling and sleeping more. Writing Will Be Selfish.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 070 ~Four, Five, Sixty-Nine Wills~

What do you want to be when you grow up? I could have given you a million answers when I was a kid. Now I usually stick to three, and I’m not close to any of them, to be honest, considering the Day Job. Four, Five, Sixty-Nine Wills um…

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Gospel 070 ~Four, Five, Sixty-Nine Wills~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should have so many nice soft beds to choose from. Why aren’t I in bed now? Inspector Echo, I worked an eight-hour shift at a place I hate. Hell, I huffed and puffed, I was humiliated, and there’s still so much hatred. Yeah, somebody should have told four-year-old or maybe five-year-old me to try harder. Here we are, two days after “Existence Day,” and I ask myself while listening to “Hurt” and motivations. What have I become? Writer, Adult Movie Director, Brothel Owner?

How am I still so ashamed? Inspector Echo, again I face embarrassment at the Day Job. “You wake up one morning, and half your life is gone,” as the song goes. I can tell you I never thought um (What’s My Age Again) I’d be in retail. Books, Broadband, Broads? Well, Inspector, I wouldn’t be opposed to selling those things. I mean no disrespect; they sell a service. For the longest time, I’ve been saying I’m going to publish my books. I don’t know how many I’ve written for NaNoWriMo. Then there’s The Passion Network. Showtime, maybe Cinemax, those were the days, Inspector Echo. Only for now, “I’m a Subscriber.” Yes, I could tell you all about being a member of several OnlyFans and SubscribeStar. Or even another “modeling” site.

Anyway, I joined up somewhere else that I won’t mention. I keep coming back to shame. I’m not ashamed to say I “write” Erotic Fiction. I can say the word Pornographer because it beats what I’m doing now. Dennis Hof is my idol R.I.P. to such an extraordinary lifestyle. When I was but a child, I wanted to be everything from living life as a swordsman to an astronaut. I wanted to serve the U.S.A. as a fighter pilot; then, I wanted to be a war journalist. There was a time that Journalism was my major. Pen, Paper, Photos, Pens, Pussy. Wickedness Inspector Echo, excuse my language. Oh, stop me before I sound like Trump. Person, woman, man, camera, T.V. Now I swear that Grammarly won’t note that sentence, Inspector.

I have dreams that I have to make real and the idea that I haven’t by this point? Yes, I am so sorry, and I haven’t fallen asleep yet, but what have I accomplished? At what time did I get back? Four, Five, Sixty-Nine Wills.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 069 ~The Will To Exist~

Well, one more Existence Day down, and unfortunately *AHEM* Spotify, Mensa, Hulu, and Adam &Eve remembered. The good news about being with me is I’m not one for celebrations besides Star Wars Day. “The Will To Exist,” I get Star Wars, but why me

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Gospel 069 ~The Will To Exist~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and may the world forgive me for my selfishness. More to the point, may you forgive me, My Love. As Will Smith put it, “I’m being the best lover and friend. Am I being the best daddy I can.” Is that all I’m going on, these 36 years? I’m not regretting a moment of it. Still lying here beside you and her. Hell or sitting in my bed with my sleeping firstborn as usual. I can’t help but ponder the man I am, and I don’t mean only surviving my day-to-day.

I want to be real with who I am and again, being here at this moment shows me that you see. Now I didn’t become the man that you could love, I’m the man that you decided to love. Does that make any sense? A friend told me to compromise who I am for love. I’m not Wayne Brady. I’ve been talking about listening more to black men I like but back to my point. Anyway, he made a list, “The List,” of everything he wanted in a woman. You’re everything I hoped for. You’re everything I need.” Yes, with my music, I know Love. Somehow I’ve never gotten to what I want in myself. I know I want, like everything, I want lots of love and little ones, but what of the man inside. I’ve always hated yesterday until, hell, I don’t know. My parents weren’t happy I arrived, nobody else either but you, baby doll, that I exist.

You’re mine, and I am yours always, that makes us happy. I’ve never agreed with those people who said you have to love yourself first. You have to be in harmony with who you are. I found peace with you. Baby Girl, I’ll note millions of reasons with us. I know it to live hm. Is it only a Billionaire status… of course, living the dream. I can think back of a time when lying in bed, hoping I didn’t get humiliated at the Day Job, was as good as it gets. I was without direction, without purpose. My Mom would tell me I would find my way… another song.

How about a few like Chasing Cars, “if I lay here,” add in some U2 “With or without you.” Martin Luther King Jr. could be right about a man having nothing to die for, maybe.

“If a man hasn’t found something he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

Still The Will To Exist…

I Will Have No Fear