Tag: Yesterday

Chronicle 135 ~To B A Believer~

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“Comedy comes in 3’s.” I’ve read that it’s a writer’s rule, but when’s the last time I’ve believed anything other writers have said… like being good. The last one I believed in died 286 Days ago. I believe bad things always come. To B A Believer

Saturday, November 13, 2021

Chronicle 135 ~To B A Believer~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so what do I believe in? I should start listening to my motivations again with NaNoWriMo.

Speaking of which, as I told Lady Sophia last night. I believe I was making such huge strides in “Behave In The Cherry Patch” until yesterday and, of course, today. If I’m lucky, ha-ha. By Sunday, I can stop lying to NaNoWriMo for at least a little while this week… Lady Lu, I should tell this weak man that I am. How many weeks has it been now that I’ve betrayed B III? Died on January 31, was cremated on February 4, and I picked up his ashes on February 10. Three days Lady Luna. I heard somewhere comedy comes in threes. I’m not sure I believe that, but wouldn’t it be something if Chase was at Petsmart today? This would be Week 3. To be Lucky or a Loser

Of course, I mean that about me, Lady Lu, and not little Virgil. Hell, I can’t believe I would adopt him now. As I couldn’t believe what my “father” said to me the day that Braxton died. Of all the pain I’ve felt in my life, I can’t believe anything could hurt this much, Lu. You’re looking at a guy who has starved himself on purpose. With this week, I’ve been starving by accident, Lu. With all I survived with last night, I did take care of one problem. The next on my plate, or rather not in my glass, is dehydration. Water, Mother’s milk… Yeah, I’m about out of both unless I want to start drinking out the sink. Drool some over Cherry’s Yabbos?

I believe I always have time to, as they say, hang out with my wang out, rock out with my cock out, get silly with my willy. I should be careful, Lady Lu. It’s that kind of language which cost me a friend on Facebook a few days ago. After losing B, who cares, Lunalesca? The hackers? I did pass the rest of the night in relative peace. Not a peep has been heard this morning but wasn’t that the calm before the storm. I go out to live, and, next thing I know, I’m fighting for my life both IRL and online. And with this coming week. Life sucks; I believe that more than ever before. I believe in Braxton. To B A Believer.

286 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 128 ~B Aching My Heart~

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For the third time in 279 Days, I was offered a dog. My sister showed me a dog only days after B III died. A woman on Facebook told me about a Chihuahua. And today, for a second week at PetSmart, these ladies asked me about Chase. “B Aching My Heart”

Saturday, November 6, 2021

Chronicle 128 ~B Aching My Heart~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I can still be petty as all Hell. I can still hate the world, right.

On the 30th, Lady Lu I was embarrassed, enamored, and enraged from going to PetSmart. Embarrassed as I offered my number and email. The lady asks, “for what?” I’m stupid. Enamored with a dog named Chase that I would never see again. I’ll get to him in a sec Lu. Enraged at the lady there, myself. COVID 19 is nothing with people’s stupidity Lady Lu. There are two places on Earth this second where everyone knows my name. Well knows me, at least. Talk to my “father’s” old work buddies sometime. Tony has a son? Anyway, so I walk into PetSmart today, and these women are all around me. “We have Chase. He’s not here, but we can bring him, just say the word.” YES

NO Lunalesca, the answer has to be no, and it breaks my heart. That’s why I go to PetSmart every Saturday, I think. To tell me that it’s still there to be broken, not fixed. I don’t deserve it, Lady Lu, I mean to know, what peace? Hell, I’m breaking the bank, my balls, my book but this incessant heart of mine beating remains. But B III doesn’t hear it. I’ve talked about getting messages. The power flipped out for a second, and his picture frame flashed. B’s stuff on the floor, how his treats lie undisturbed. But nothing Saturday. Well, I take that back. Remember how I talked about the bank? With my budget, I bought a book for a buck, “This Dog’s Afterlife.”

Coincidence, you think? Braxton is a hard habit to break, and I don’t plan on it anytime soon. I told M Anime that she makes it difficult for men to date her. Getting close, nope? I’m doing the same thing when it comes to fur-babies. My Day Job, as always, sucks. Say the magic words “Humiliations Galore.” I’ve been chasing one chick’s Yabbos for weeks now. It’s a good thing God gave Adam a woman and not a dog. I’ve got neither, but which did more damage? Ahh, yes, bring on the waterworks Day 279. So with all the things wrong with me, what should worry me, Luna? I wish it was NaNoWriMo; I’m lying. The truth is worse. Braxton’s Dead, B Aching My Heart

279 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 121 ~To The B Eve’d~

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I’m sure someone said something wise of grief and hunger, not that I found it… I’m not that smart. All I know is that when Braxton died, my Ma asked whether I was eating, and I picked up ribs. Are you hungry seems easy enough to ask? “To The B Eve’d”

Saturday, October 30, 2021

Chronicle 121 ~To The B Eve’d~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I must be clever? Well, you saw that title. “Behave In The Cherry Patch?”

No, NaNoWriMo Eve is tomorrow, and so is Halloween. Let’s not forget Fear The Walking Dead and Walking Dead: World Beyond. The start of a new week and my list of eff ups aka Six Impossible Things. But um, God “rested” on the 7th day. Yep so did B III. But my story, didn’t I say I would be bringing characters back from the dead? My “loves?” Or am I digging myself into a tiny grave when it comes to writing? There will be some “plowing,” in my words. Don’t remind me, yesterday was all about Blue Balls, Lunalesca. I don’t know how I’m going to write with that kind of pain. Oh, right, the only bodily fluids leaving were tears over B III again.

Saturday was B’s last full day. He couldn’t do a damn thing but Test His Might. If God made woman from one of man’s ribs, man took another and gave it to the dog. Oh yeah, the dog was smart enough to bring it back. Ooh, that was not a gripe at women, Lady Luna. Hell, if anything, I’m not the man sitting on his ass drinking a beer and watching the game. I’m the boy lying in his bed waiting for his best friend to come back home. Braxton would be proud. I ignored him most of the week, but he was no fan of Sundays. That’s the truth. Once again, it’s Saturday, but I guess I’m getting an early start on my grief.

Braxton, boobs, and that “bad man” better known as Dad. One I’ll never see again, two I want to avoid, and three is calling Monday. But Sunday will always be the worst day for me. Some things are supposed to be said, smart things for sad times. Only every single day feels like a funeral, but I’m not sure whose. Yet I stay crying over one, my Little B. Lady Luna, is that why I don’t want to talk about today? I betrayed him when I watched him dying. I go and look at the other fur-babies like B III hasn’t been gone 272 Days. There’s no day or night, only life and death. Stories, Saturdays, my sucky life. Say What? To The B Eve’d

272 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 114 ~No, Not The B’s~

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The bed’s not a mess, but then again, I might have to make it to see a difference. As if anything makes a difference when one political supports the Nazis. The years before, when I had a girl of the week, Anya, Panam, Jen. B’s still gone. No, Not The B’s

Saturday, October 23, 2021

Chronicle 114 ~No, Not The B’s~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I’d buy a safe place for animals not lucky like B. Blue Pills and Bullets.

The places my mind goes. Last night I didn’t dream about Braxton. But the dream I did have. Now Lu, like everything else in my life, it’s second-rate, second-best, and didn’t allow a second round. Let’s say I should call a physician as it lasted over four hours. Lady Lu, living in a would-be tyranny thanks to the Republican Party. That’s not to say I like the Democrats either. Um, M Anime is all for Anarchy but in a peaceful sort of way. Anyway, so my dream was of Wolfenstein, well, Anya Oliwa-Blazkowicz, to be specific. She wasn’t the only one; there was Panam Palmer from Cyberpunk 2077. And Jennifer Mallick, aka “Huck” TWD World Beyond. There were a few more. But leaving it there.

So as the song goes, AHEM, Lady Gaga “Sexxx Dreams.” This might explain why I didn’t get off on it. Despite how long I lounged around in bed. I still am at 7:20. It would have been something if I were only watching the performance, but I was “Begging,” Lunalesca. Did I mention my ears are being assaulted by everything? Okay, love the music, yup. Lunalesca, if you didn’t know, the Nazis that I’ve often read about are here, Republicans. Oh, there’s the Alec Baldwin shooting. It’s been on my mind. Shutting everything off. Ain’t that the dream? I wish I had thought about that yesterday. No, I save all my wishes for Braxton to come home. Or to go trust that chick from Facebook.

Hell, I wish I could enact a punishment that I know I deserve for B III. I’m a weak man. Always under the influence of a pair of breasts, boobs, books talking about them, hmm? Always at the mercy of bucks, bills, benjamins. Speaking of which, an errand for today. Always afraid of bullets, ballistics, busting a cap as the kids say nowadays? Staying away. Better an excursion to the bank than being with a weapon I shouldn’t touch, definitely. There’s the other weapon poking up, and it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours, damn it. As I said, the dreams. If I dreamed of Braxton, I’d be bawling my eyes out, which will happen sometime today. Instead, my balls are useless. No, Not The B’s

265 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 107 ~To B The Boss~

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I got soul, but I’m not a soldier, which explains why I never made it in the Navy or the Army. I was a Dad, but where’s my son? Now somebody wants me to be the boss, and I think about how much I effed up Thursday. Me being in charge, “To B The Boss.”

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Chronicle 107 ~To B The Boss~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which makes me “The Man.” Hell, I’m a man, I keep telling myself. The world disagrees.

Now I’m not in the LGBTQ community though I support it. God only knows the number of friends titties I want to see, SIGH. Braxton was enamored with Carolina Bound’s. Some things I couldn’t give my son. I wish he had met his stepmom. But “How To Be The Man.” Day one when B and I found ourselves on the porch of this place. I hugged my boy, and I said, “we have to look out for each other. It’s only us now.” Oh, and now I have one bedroom made into a Den. The second one is The Library/B III’s Room. Uh yeah, family. I’ve said and not to sound like “idgit” Marjorie Taylor Greene but being a father is the epitome of manhood.

It was/is the most tremendous honor, privilege, duty of my life. Thou Art Courageous to take up such a task. Great men do not seek power; it is thrust upon them. Before I rip off another game or show, do you remember Little B jumping into the car choosing me? Lunalesca, I picked him the moment I saw him in my Old Man’s hands. Hell, I don’t know what to do with myself, but it was effortless with B III. Love. That’s why I’m so lost. I don’t love myself, and while I care for my friends, when I’m not staring at their tiddies. Yeah, I should stop watching Emily. Anyway, I refuse to lead anyone else to ruin, to death, or worse, my STUPIDITY.

That’s why this boss man stuff has me so terrified. It’s not like I’ve even acted on anything; I only got the promotion Thursday. It took me fifteen years to fail Braxton. I hear you, Lady Lu, that was old age. We’re talking what a few months here. Humiliations Galore. Yesterday I was looking over the schedule thinking as soon as I saw my position… Lunalesca, I didn’t go crawling into the bed, but again I failed six impossible things. Braxton and I knew Yabbos could fix anything. Boobs and chocolate before The End, ha. It would have been the least I could do as his Daddy. As his boss? My boy led me through life. My Turn To B III. To B The Boss

258 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 100 ~Not For The B’s~

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Once a buzzing in the walls was the worst of my problems. I said, “eff them Bees.” It was one of the neighbors, though, and we would all be in trouble without the bees. But for me without B III… books, boobs, bucks, it doesn’t matter, Not For The B’s

Saturday, October 9, 2021

Chronicle 100 ~Not For The B’s~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’ll tell you I would help more animals than people. Oh yeah, my Republican tendencies…

I had a dream as I continued to be a lazy ass this morning. Yeah, I got up at 4:00 AM but slept an extra hour. I’d say, cut me some slack, but I don’t deserve it. At least I’m not sitting in bed buck-ass naked looking for an excuse to do laundry today. I’m back to, day one Lunalesca. So my dream. There was a brown dog, much darker than my Braxton, growling at me that I was trying to fight off. It was with my left arm, you know where I keep planning on getting my tattoo for B. She was a bitch too. I do mean that in dog terms, of course. Well, did I die, you want to ask Lady Lu?

Let’s say; I’m not in the mood to go see the doggies. But it’s Saturday, I’ll stick to the routine. Speaking of Republican tendencies or a white man who leaves the one they love the most. The 30th, remember. “First let me explain that I’m just a black man,” as the song goes, Lady Lu. That’s the one thing I can’t forget in this world. There’s reading the Succubus series. Lunalesca, there are the books. The financial sort that has been kicking my ass some days. What about my book? I should be cheating, as NaNoWriMo starts in November, Lady Lu. More books, but how have I been worried about making money. Yesterday, doing shit that I would never let Braxton see or Beatrice either.

I’m sticking with that name, Beatrice, as in Dante’s Inferno. If I see a brown dog today, I’m steering clear. Can I get more Republican, ha? Didn’t I use to say life is all about Bucks, Babes, and Bullets? Bullion, Biology, Boobs; better Bombs, Brunettes, Burials? Braxton should have always come first, and he did. I keep telling myself that falsehood? I can’t keep my boner in my pants, I refuse to work on my book, and where are all the bucks. Um, ok, in the piggy bank in “Squid Game,” along with people’s brains going everywhere. Living in a world that every day I see more and more that’s doomed. My apocalypse partner… Braxton is dead. Supporting NaNoWriMo… nope, I should help keep the Bees. Not For The B’s.

251 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 093 ~B III Of Time~

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Time is pretty damn valuable, and B III knew it. It’s why he sat on my head so I would have to get some air. He used his 8 ― 10 lbs. of weight to make me get up and walk. Now I have all the time in the world to think about those times. B III Of Time.

Saturday, October 2, 2021

Chronicle 093 ~B III Of Time~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I would be if it wasn’t for Yesterday. To think I’m always worried about tomorrow.

In five minutes, the world is going to end. I know I gave up that theory at some point. Hell, I watched the world end on January 31st, at around 3:30 PM ― 4:00 PM. I’d like to think that’s when Fear died as well. My greatest crime, that pain, there is nothing like it. To be frozen in time, to be dead as B is dead. It has now been 244 days, and I have not moved from that moment. Yes, I am repeating myself in the fact that my darkest sin is Treachery. And so I reside in that level of Hell. Yet my betrayal continues, Lady Lunalesca. Forgive Me…

“Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’, into the future” Fly Like An Eagle

Hell, I’ve been asking for it for 37 Years and going on 25 Days. How close am I to playing like a Christian? I ain’t asking God because I take my own lumps. If I’ve been guilty since the day I was born? If the sins of the fathers are returned on the sons, B III rests in a box. You must be asking what is bringing all of this out of me today. I woke up at 4:00 AM. Today is Saturday, of course, which means I have to leave the house. Petting Fur-Babies? It could be the fact Lunalesca, I have wasted this whole week, continue singing Yesterday. I was deader then. It’s like when the ASM awoke my anger, making me feel.

Now I’m gaining new routines. That’s Fur-Babies, Groceries, and Street Tacos. And with it all? How I wish I wasn’t so damn tired. Now that would be some Hell. I should lie by B’s bed. Yeah, I wasn’t sleeping at all then. So why can’t I promise to do that? For B III, Lady Lu. Imagining the heinous horrors and humiliations that await me next week. And there will be several. I continue to blame myself for what happened, but I didn’t hate my Day Job so much. A former manager asked why I didn’t quit. If I did, I’d join B III much quicker. But I still see him from Yesterday and now, even tomorrow. Braxton remains Always And Forever. B III Of Time

244 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 081 ~Yesterday Was The Easy Day~

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Sad but true, even before Braxton and worse without him. It’s sort of like that movie Office Space. Every day is the worst day of my life except for Emergence, Braxton’s last day, and the Day Job anniversary. Yesterday Was The Easy Day

Monday, September 20, 2021

Chronicle 081 ~Yesterday Was The Easy Day~

Two-Hundred And Sixth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I won’t be writing at the dining room table tomorrow. I’ll be busy with humiliation.

If there’s anything to hope for while I Time Travel today, it’s this. No, not that I’ll see a fur baby at PetSmart Saturday. Today is the farthest from that, being Sunday, and I got another email about a puppy yesterday. Every day I’m farther away from B III, dammit. Um, excuse me, Madam, I need that pain. As I was trying to say, I can only hope I’ve seen the worst humiliations this world has had to offer. Only I know I haven’t. If I were smart, I would be in bed right now, soaking in whatever energy, comfort, peace to be found, yep. Despite all I have done today, the only fact is that Monday will be worse. Dare I become a prophet?

A Realist. As I said before, it will be 232 days without my son when you see this, dear Madam. It doesn’t get easier. I still have yet to see one where I wasn’t crying about him. I’d take that over living like this. It’s a horrible thought to think that Braxton was the lucky one. It should have been me. I’ve said it before that 2020 and being 36 was a cakewalk, piece of cake and easy as pie compared to the moment right now. Let’s look at today, Sunday. Besides talking to you, I got dinner started early. I worked on “Stuff and Thangs.” Madam, I took a shower. I even changed my mind between reading The Handmaid’s Tale and The Red Collar.

Compared to tomorrow or today, whatever. Madam, this whole week is going to suck. Yes, every day will be worse than the last. Braxton’s not here to lie to anymore. I only speak the truth to myself, and when it comes to the day job… I know I didn’t say Another…

“There’s too many men, too many people, making too many problems.”

My fucking Republican tendencies. They want more people until they’re born. More, unless their immigrants. Yes, more unless they have brains. People make the days harder, that is true.

“If anything, I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.” ― Andrew Davidson, The Gargoyle.

I think that’s it… I hate days more than the people. Hating myself the most because Yesterday Was The Easy Day.

232 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will