Gospel 052 ~A Loss For Will~

All my life, I have listened to people with nothing to say. So when I do ask for an explanation, they’ve got nothing. Hell nowadays, I don’t have much, but I refused to beg for once. A Loss For Will, maybe

Saturday, August 22, 2020

Gospel 052 ~A Loss For Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’d be wealthier if I’d stayed awake. So what woke me up in the first place? More often than not, if it’s not work or women, it’s my whiny dæmon. I love him like pancakes Lady Lu but SHIT, pardon my language, it’s all shit.

My motivations talk about having something that gets you out of bed each morning. Well, In How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Dale Carnegie says you must accept the worse possible scenario and get past it. Jail time or death? Let’s start smaller, Lu.

“First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst.” – Dale Carnegie

“The willingness to walk away, above all other factors, does more to tell a woman of your high value than any amount of money can. You must be prepared to follow through and to fully believe that you’ll never see or hear from her again, because women instinctively know when you’re faking.” ― Roosh V

Well bigger, I’m equal opportunity coming to Yabbos. Sabrina Nichole, Paige Steele, Azur Lane, or MILF Tres? Only yesterday I was talking about when she’s gone, that’s it, move on. I haven’t heard from anybody like MILF Dos, Okay, or Cherry. So out of the blue, here’s MILF Tres saying, “Good Evening.” I gave her nothing but room to explain. After her “Okay fine” and an opportunity to talk, that was it. I’m at a loss when it comes to talking to pretty girls, but I chose. You takes your chances, and makes your choice.

Hell, I don’t think that way when it comes to the Day Job. Christians talk about people accepting Hell. Do you recall the movie Full Metal Jacket, “a world of shit,” right? Again I wake up and take that and why. It’s always fear or laziness, both? I was attempting to burn my eyeballs out of my head to check my schedule. You know I even tried to schedule my car getting repaired and why. All so I can go someplace that I hate Lu.

Yeah, like Whataburger is so impressive the way they screwed up my order this morning. What about Walmart? This goes back into my laziness, but I’m going to miss part of NXT, perhaps. I have to get up and fetch food. Well, doesn’t that point everything out? I’m going to get food for a life that I would indeed not live. My firstborn has to eat so he can continue crapping it all out like last night. Not his fault, of course, I choose him over me all day every day without out fail Lu.

Only I’m failing everything else, losing MILF Tres and now Specs too. I don’t know where to start. Answer anywhere but A Loss For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 187 ~Maybe This Will Cure~

I’m not sick; I have some friends who are suffering through everything but I remain healthy and active but my life is something else to be sure and it doesn’t need a cure but here we are. “Maybe This Will Cure”

Saturday, January 4, 2020

Log 187 ~Maybe This Will Cure~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m awake right now. Don’t get me wrong I’m not discounting the whole 1:30 AM waking dynamic but not tomorrow. Even with a half-day, I slept most of it away, and guess what woke me up? Isn’t it always a woman? I spent most of the day talking to M Anime. For a woman, the things that men are capable of doing Lady Luna? I still remember that quote from 500 Days Of Summer, which rings as the gospel truth.

“Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.”

Like any medication, there are side effects, but I won’t go into those. Positivity is the order of the day, so how have I done this week. Well again I am the time traveler, I wrote about Friday this morning and Saturday tonight. The point is words Lady Lu like that movie Play’d “these words they have power,” I stood up to Loss Prevention Tuesday. A term that I find myself repeating is “breathe.” More than anything, I need air. Again I told M Anime the truth. So what about my “father” or MILF Dos? Today will be the day with my father, but I can’t see the future. Lady Lu, that’s facts, for example, Far Cry 5 the Nadine Abercrombie side mission Golden Age Nostalgia. Instead, I finished Larry Parker’s side missions giving me 51/52. We never know where we will find ourselves ever.

“I had nothing left to offer but pure reflex. Pure reflex and mankind’s basic drive for survival, that somehow shouts, “NO – I WILL NOT DIE TODAY!” The Beach (2000)

Now that’s where the law of attraction comes into play. Sunday I need to write my New Year’s Resolutions but what about right at this moment. I want M Anime to say YES, and then there’s another potential. How about all my problems will be solved come February 28, 2020, by PCH. I still remember how much faith I had that one day when they came so close, awarding the grand prize. There can’t be any doubt in my mind. Trust in the universe, and if that isn’t my motivation talking. My writing is going to take off this month, I know it, I will get it done. Tonight we’ll have this conversation, and I’ll wake up fresh and ready to go in the morning. I don’t need to be saved, or cured truth be told, I need to stay awake, life is not a virus that I have.

Convincing, quite the same fire and passion I give everyone still, Maybe This Will Cure.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 180 ~Less Than Willing, Weak~

Am I willing, well that’s my name, “Will,” Willie, sometimes I don’t know considering it took an email to HR to stop the calls of Mr. Willie and that was when I was lucky, but I’m lazy? Less Than Willing, Weak.

Saturday, December 28, 2019

Log 180 ~Less Than Willing, Weak~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, and for most, comfort makes for weak men. How do THEY say, Fake It To You Make It? All I know is comfort when I’m not at the Day Job or anywhere outside. Even getting nearly eight hours isn’t helping. Why not eight, My Dæmon decided not to walk to the bathroom. Oh, and I’m an addict, not a doubt in my mind anymore. Of course, you know to what and when’s the last time I’ve gone a week. My motivations would ask what it’s going to take to change ever.

The year of Will, when I’ve already lost three months, last September. While I’m on the subject of the past, what about the movie Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor, SIGH. Am I starting to show my age, Lady Luna? Where was my “father” at my age? I bet it wasn’t in bed watching YouTube videos on Far Cry 5. I’m willing to do whatever needs demand to advance in the game but not in my life? My Dæmon looked at me as though I wasn’t ready to do anything. Like Father Like Son, he didn’t want his morning vitamin, treat, or any meds. I’m not suicidal, but every day this house becomes more like a coffin. If anything, though, I prefer it to the fires or the freezing that is my Day Job. Then again, what have I done this week to avoid going back other than stay a day ahead blogging? I continue to search on PCH like one day, yeah, here’s one million dollars.

Do I have anything to tout about this week? A couple of days not dying on Far Cry 5, but one day I didn’t play a full hour. The next, I had to replay the Exodus mission to save ALL the hostages. What can I say, I don’t like to lose? Sitting here in bed, growing a beard, eating cupcakes for breakfast. Yeah, so locked up in my addiction, I couldn’t bring myself to go downstairs and make pancakes or anything. I would say I’m going to be nothing but positive in the new year, but I’m not a liar. I’m lazy, lonely, a loser, but no, I won’t lie. You’re telling me to stop it and believe me; I understand that I must. Next week, new year and decade.

Why wait, I should get up; Less Than Willing, Weak?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 092 ~Women Worry Waking Will~

Last week I talked about my work or the job I want, but still, a man needs some downtime like today where I curled up in the covers and slept the rest of the day away; no I’m not sick but lazy? “Women Worry Waking Will” and my kid

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Log 092 ~Women Worry Waking Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but mostly because I want to sleep. Don’t get me wrong; I won’t say you didn’t have something to do with the bedding selection. Next to a wedding ring, a bed should be something you know about who you spend your life with My Love. You can ask my Firstborn and his never-ending quest for comfy spots. A great man once said “What’s the point getting into bed alone?” Why all the bed talk; has today been so tiring? Yeah, a bit and I’m still hiding under the covers for now.

I could tell you all about waiting for my dream girl. The circle is now complete ha. Still, isn’t it ironic as the song goes, you’re the reason I want to wake up? At the same time, what you do for love can be exhausting. Here I am worried about beds when I should also invest in alarm clocks. At present, I have five still because I don’t want to waste a single second. Okay granted what about days like this like momma said? I promise it wasn’t even music today but audiobooks. You, my Firstborn, our other children, are the only ones I don’t mind breaking me out of my revelry. I say it all the time on Saturday I could just lay here with you and just forget the world. Nah, we’ll still be here together listening to Nuclear Pop. The thing is though Audible isn’t as bad as I thought, just saying.

Yeah, saying or doing anything from my nice warm bed. Besides the obvious when I look at you. My work, my woman, and my wee little puppy man. Now I can go Disney’s Aladdin and show you the world. There are days I need to be right here, lost in YouTube and movies. I don’t think I’ve eaten much today, but I’m not sick. Some part of me wants to say you don’t have to worry. However I kind of like it, and I’m not one to come down with the flu. Would you mind one more song, My Love:

“there’s nothing I can do
I only wanna be with you.”
Only Wanna Be With You, Hootie & The Blowfish

Yes, the best part of staying in bed, my world is here SIGH. So is Twilight and The Handmaid’s Tale. Sometimes Women Worry Waking Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 356 ~Will’s PG Programming Guide~

Time to get to work, not knocking anyone but those words at 4:00 AM suck when you know you’re not getting paid a whole lot, so it makes sense even “adult entertainment” has proper hours. Will’s PG Programming Guide.

Saturday, June 22, 2019

Episode 356 ~Will’s PG Programming Guide~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now but not because of my network. In Episode 345 “You Got Will’s Number” I talked about what that would entail. Cosplayers. Sex-Ed, Reactors, Adult Entertainment, And Gamers in general. It would be my own YouTube, well dirtier. These past few days, I have been too tired even to do that. Last night was a nightmare. The house smells like shit (LANGUAGE), and the dreams keep coming. They beat what’s coming out of B III’s butt though. Again though I can be far worse as Quasimodo said.

“No face as hideous as my face
Was ever meant for Heaven’s light” Heaven’s Light

I know Lady Lu, positive vibes and that’s me being B III’s father. When I meet the right woman and Triple B has “normal” siblings” will I be the man, the father they need? All I know is I was up at 4:00 AM scrubbing the floor. At this rate, I wouldn’t oppose a few dirty diapers thrown away. What about Rule 012, “I Take Own My Lumps,” I am the responsible one. He needs care I make sure he gets it. I’m the one arguing with publishers. Even now, I need to call the Vet back about my son. If anything being a father being an adult keeps me out of other messes; for the most part. Sleep has not been a problem, and anger can mix with other things too. Nothing will ever take my boy’s place though that’s for sure, Lady Lu.

Not that I have any other ladies beating down my door. If I got so lucky the house is a mess and did I mention Triple B’s bathroom problem? My dreams are much cleaner. It was three parts, the first being a multitude of doors. No matter if I knocked, kicked, and because keys aren’t needed, the door would open to white mist. When I woke up, I went to B III’s room and stepped feet first into one of many messes. After an hour, I was back to sleep with those same doors. On the other side, there was only me, and I ran. It’s something out of Jordan Peele’s “Us” only with doors, not mirrors. I heard in a song once Don’t Let Me Get Me. How about my new favorite game Is This Porn? No, I don’t have time for that or anything else, to be honest.

Pops is taking care of business, Will’s PG Programming Guide.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 349 ~Who, What, When, Will~

This week I should have been asking the question of how much money am I going to make, but I still haven’t sent in my book. Hell, I trust writers of fiction but publishers and what about myself to be honest. Who, What, When, Will.

Saturday, June 15, 2019

Episode 349 ~Who, What, When, Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now but WHO WILL I blame? Karen Marie Moning for Mckayla’s Manuscripts and Miscellany. That’s from the Fever Series so is Barrons Books And Baubles. Vile. Vicious. Villainous. Vasiliev comes from The V Games Novels by Ker Dukey and K. Webster. Invisible, Impenetrable, Invincible or Resurrection, Redemption, Resolution, thank you Pepper Winters for Destroyed. Am I trying to explain my love for alliteration or looking for another woman to blame? I don’t want to be alone in madness, I guess. I can’t say my latest stylings have been kind. With all my efforts to win NO FAP, I’ve added 36 Sections to one Pinterest board. I can’t blame anyone for this but me myself and I. It did give me an idea for a new novel though, Camp NaNoWriMo begins in July.

WHAT WILL I write about, while the idea is still fresh in my head. As always, there’s a brothel, a doctor’s office, and a tattoo parlor; that’s new. A man is an executioner for a bordello, and he tells the stories of his victims through tattoos. I’ve set the stage for this through the thirteen tools of the Gods and my last tale. I’m thinking strings of DNA in the symbols. So what’s stopping me from writing this story right now or putting down anything? Yesterday I barely got out of bed. Of course, I can make a million excuses as the song goes. You know I watched an episode of The Handmaid’s Tale. Another thing? What do I get from spoiling things for myself? For this week it’s been Eden and Issac, love her and hate him of course. Have I had enough of the HEA, but I have such respect for Canada now.

When Will I go there or any other part of the world? How about those goals I wrote down, still proud to be an American? Nevada, California, New York and Sweet Home Alabama. Shall I once again travel through the world of my imagination? I worry about little B III. I still refuse to put these words out into the UNIVERSE. He couldn’t jump in the car; he’s slower on the stairs. When will I have enough to make women’s clothes blow right off? I suppose that’s enough social media for today Lady Lu. Don’t I know all of this right? Who, What, When, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 139 ~Willing Parody Of Life~

I think I know enough about life to fake it, go to work, kill the pests (ants), and there is a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head, and that’s all there is but wait there’s more because what I have seen so far… “Willing Parody Of Life.”

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Episode 139 ~Willing Parody Of Life~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, give life or take it, and no My Lady I’m not crazy though if I can be candid with you Luna, these days the thought of my life has only begun depressing me further. Today *sigh* It Was A Good Day, now nowhere near as good as it was supposed to be… Five Thousand words, remember that but I think I’ve written most of a “wonderful” solid chapter for my novel.

I was dead asleep for most of the day which might explain why physically I feel so wide awake, that and being a spokesman for 5-hour ENERGY, not for real but a shot a day gives me the words to say. Speaking of shots, that would have been faster I believe, a military man especially a commander should keep a journal I heard once, as far as the war against the ant population, it goes well, two ant baits and I now have a pest mass genocide. One more day off and then there’s hell to pay, as in Black Friday, how I wish I could summon up my rage against the General Manager, why not the general population, I’m not picky, only picked on.

The question tonight is, why am I the biggest bully of them all, don’t get me wrong, my day job is doing awesome destroying me, you would think I would take this more seriously, writing but still I remain. People talk about these weeks as a season of miracles, I only want one, and that’s to finish my novel on time and with everything that is about to happen… Well, one more good thing, my Mother is cooking which means “B III” and I should eat well if we make it until Thursday but then again, don’t I get paid Friday and if I had my way I wouldn’t go out on either of those days so yeah yay Mom.

Maybe that’s it; I’m a bully that’s been knocked down but beating myself up is so damn easy that yeah everyone does it, and I still want to lend a hand because that’s what I do, hurt myself to benefit others. I heard this ad that says Christmas reminds us of how good we can be, “Triple B” is alive I’m right, I haven’t tried to kill myself in ages, that works, I might have reclaimed some of this house, okay then but what’s not, this Willing Parody Of Life.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 132 ~What Keeps You Willing~

Being perfectly honest I wish I wasn’t and no I’m not getting on about my name I mean getting off my ass and doing something other than running to work, searching for sex, and rushing to stop the flood of invaders. “What Keeps You Willing?”

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Episode 132 ~What Keeps You Willing~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, three months in, I should have a quarter of a million dollars… I spoke about mimes yesterday, and that’s one more good thing about them, you can’t hear them laughing at you. Can’t see them either considering I have been asleep most of the day and things I don’t want to see today. More things to break my No Fap streak, too late, more black dots across the kitchen floor or Braxton’s room marching, and how about the crap for my novel but the ideas keep on coming more and more.

Hell Lady Luna the only reason I got anything done today was “B III” tugging at my arm, one more thing I didn’t want to see is him hacking and coughing, that fat cat that’s looking for a fight, or whatever wound I inflicted on myself around my heart. I don’t want to see when I have to go to work tomorrow, how about what I’ll procrastinate with next, today it’s been Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and Rick Grimes’s last episode, and then there’s my dining room chair. So today’s question is what do I do it all for, I’ve said so many times before I don’t look in mirrors, I counted my money which is another bit of depression, and no I’m not suicidal… okay, I always am but closing my eyes and wasting today did work wonders.

It always comes back to FEAR but if I need to pick up F’s they would be FIRED, FATHER, and of course “The F Word” because I hear Captain America saying “Language”; still why do I get up for work, don’t like my job, hate people but I don’t want to get fired. Every Morning when I wake up as the song goes and I’m not headed off to work I see my son look at me like Papa Can You Hear Me, and I‘m nowhere near the best dad in the world and I still can’t believe I still dream of having the “Nuclear Family” to be a Father. Of course, that requires “The F Word” and no I don’t mean Fapping, and when it comes to sex, yeah I have far too much of that in my novel and far too little in reality but the promise of it… talk about loftier F’s.

Ask me why I wake up in the morning other than to walk B III, give him his meds, and pray for twenty-four hours not to fight the horde, at this rate I’m going to have to do actual real adulting and call someone. People Lady Lu, humanity, like Me Before You, A Million Little Things, Let Me In, we are supposed to live to make other people happy, and that’s not fair when we can’t have that so Lady Lu What Keeps You Willing?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 125 ~When Motivation Bugs Will~

It seems to me that everything is out and trying to live, fitness models, bullies, and pests and for some reason, I can’t get myself motivated despite the huge nap I took, but energy drinks do have a downside. When Motivation Bugs Will

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Episode 125 ~When Motivation Bugs Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, well I know I’m spending at least twelve bucks a week on 5-hour ENERGY shots; think Popeye and his spinach, only a day later I’m crashing, and for a minute there I was thinking would they ever sponsor me… loyal customer.

Last night I was talking about motivation, and I have done so for so many, as I was telling “Indiana Gone” about that MILF, I told her she should become a model, lo and behold she has a new Instagram page, not that I’m taking credit. I would show it off if I weren’t afraid of losing her as a “friend” or that she would kick my ass and to speak of a foot in the ass, I know I have motivated and inspired many would-be comedians who live by the motto of “Just Kidding.” God how that bugs me and even trying to make this house inviting has triggered the local creepy crawlers, or maybe that’s the weather; I keep hoping, seeing as how my son has been under it for a day or so, he’s motivating me towards a vet visit this week.

Now how about my precious motivation Lady Luna, I know this is more Lady Sophia’s wheelhouse but the ideas have come rolling in or should I say rip-offs, for example, Twilight did the whole four parts thing with the sun and so did Black Panther. As far as character motivations, my protagonist is always looking for love, the antagonist wants his business, the pretty doctor values humanity, the love interest desires a soul, and the gravedigger looks for immortality. What am I motivated to do though, here’s another NaNoWriMo, I have slipped back into listening to all those motivational speakers, and I still remember that happened by accident “Illegal Dreamer,” I owe Spotify for that.

The thing that gets me though is why am I still waiting to get started today, I could have come so far but I’m doing the bare minimum, 1,667 words and I do around 1,700 because of my thing for numbers as always. O.C. D. is a real killer; you can look at me when I leave the house I have a ritual and if I don’t do it… well now I know why I like three, O.C.D., Bipolar Depression, and Social Anxiety which is the worse, now that might make a good story someday but When Motivation Bugs Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 118 ~Will Of The People~

Nothing much to say today because honestly, I don’t know what I’m fighting for, yesterday I had to be one man and today I was a lazy one or just horny, that’s the thing with having a ton of energy, and my body’s outrunning my mind. Will Of The People

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Episode 118 ~Will Of The People~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, besides hoping people are STUPID and you know how much I hate that word, but like politics, it’s everywhere. Like porn, it shouldn’t help anyone right? Like power, it becomes an obsession. Should I mention, it’s also a constant worry, perhaps the cornerstone of my anxiety that more than anything I don’t want to be; like the song, “I feel stupid,” and that seems to be like most days Lady Lu, the Will Of The People.

Maybe only one man but why do I feel stupid today, the fact that I wasted most of it away lying in my bed so that I can wake up bright and early and go to the job I hate; perhaps that’s insanity. I could go on and on about the way I allow people to treat me only to have an opportunity to show courage and heart and next thing you know I have people like Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest. How about how I treat myself beating myself up for days on end about something over and over again, some stupid post, I don’t even read replies on Whisper or something on Facebook like today which ruins my Saturday.

Again it is the Will Of The People, the man that I can’t help being and if it keeps up this way I’ll be a dead one soon enough and wouldn’t they say that’s only one more stupid decision in my case. Is it that I still want to be one of the people, that I keep getting voted, the idiot in charge or that I keep putting myself in that position and when did I decide on letting myself fall so low today, in more ways than one and I’m “trying” so hard. Yes, I’ll stop thinking with that part of my anatomy but it’s like everything is begging me to move, to do something, anything and like most, I only tend to make things worse all the time.

The thing is, I can’t opt out, I can’t turn away because if I do, then I am STUPID and nothing changes, and there is terrible by default and hell at this time I don’t even know what right looks like; well, I do, but Pinterest isn’t helping here. In a minute I’m going to sound like Eric Thomas asking myself “Will the real “Will” please stand up” (insert penis humor) but I can’t go on like this, a vote, the voices, my verses not saying a thing because of the Will Of The People.

I Will Have No Fear