Saga 357 ~To B Loved Virgil~

I’d still watch the videos if I didn’t read the comments. Let them celebrate, crow, and hear all the congratulations. That’s love, no? Babies, betrothals, busting out the wedding cakes. Me? V was waiting on the stairs, and B? “To B Loved Virgil”

Friday, June 23, 2023

Saga 357 ~To B Loved Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m sure I have many a disgusting story to tell. Without Bandcamp? Bitcoin? Onlyfans? Uh…

I could name other sins. Could be? Should be? Regardless, My Lady, “All are punished!” And no, I’m not reading Romeo and Juliet. And while I’m reading “Looking for Alaska.” Lady Sophia, twenty percent completion doesn’t give me room to talk. Plus, I wonder if it’s a love story. Is that what I’ve been reading… Love stories? Lack thereof? Inevitable that it always, and I do mean always, comes back to my son. My dead one, Lady Sophia. As for V. “You’re not my son.” That’s my best impression of Enabran Tain from DS9. Of course, I don’t say that to him out loud. However, it wasn’t words of love today when I found him on the stairs waiting. “You were lucky, not smart, Virgil.”

Why can’t I love him? Hell! I’m trying. “I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest, and kind. Well, I’m still working on kind.” And why can’t I use “my” own words? How about turning off Youtube for now? That’s why I’m upset today. Well, the last few days. Again, if only I could tell the truth about things. Take the word CONGRATULATIONS, for starters. Am I jealous, mad, horny? The Pic Phenomenon, ha. But no. While I was dicking around, minus my dick for once. I was watching Reactions for The Last of Us. I like couple reactors. In this case, it’s MAC React. So I’m going through the comments… CONGRATULATIONS, Madison’s pregnant; Samantha is too. Shelby’s married…

What am I doing even caring about all these people’s lives? Now not those rich effers in the submarine. But I mean people I pay attention to. In particular, their love lives, Lady Sophia. There it is; LOVE. As Taylor Swift sings, “It’s a love story, baby, just say, “Yes.” More like, “Somebody tell me what is wrong with me. I wasn’t sure, but I know now. I believe that it must be. Love don’t love me.” And didn’t I say I would make a playlist of the songs Braxton sends? Anyway. Seems like the women whose text and poetry I read are in the same boat. Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, Cherry. But me, lusting for love? Reading of love… Loser. To B Loved Virgil

873 Days Without B III, Day 314 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 350 ~V’s For Voting, Braxton~

No ballots to read… yet. Even if there were, I’d read about dead fur babies or how much it will cost to see a chick’s nice big… Uh. I open my eyes, and I have a mini-election. Do I get up or stay down? Cry over B or let V out. V’s For Voting, Braxton

Friday, June 16, 2023

Saga 350 ~V’s For Voting, Braxton~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m voting for me and mine. That is to say, Braxton. Blacks, Browns, for Trump…

Fictionally. I don’t have a billion bucks. But if I did… I’m all for that paper. “Cash Rules Everything Around Me. C.R.E.A.M., get the money. Dollar, dollar bill y’all.” B and I are both for a strong border, like keeping people and dogs away from us. The only illegals here were the stupid. And we were both rooting for the Sith, the Empire, Yes, Star Wars. But in reality, “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” And, This Is America, ok. I voted for Biden and Democrats pretty much across the board. Ah, the politics of today. I didn’t mean to get all political today, but when I woke up with V here… Uh? “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem; it’s me.”

Braxton or Virgil? It would be Braxton without question at this moment and everyone hereafter. Again Virgil is here now, and no harm will come to him. I’m trying, Sophia. Though if today I was looking at the ballot to bring back B, stay with V, or join B dead… Existence or Life? Again I couldn’t tell you what it means to be alive. I still try doing Balance’s meditation. And the simple act of taking a breath is a challenge in and out, ha. Pain or pleasure? Sticking with the whole in-and-out motif. I woke up this morning feeling decent physically. But that’s until I felt a nugget of earwax in my left ear, so I’ll worry all day. Better to look at boobs…

Crime or cash? Aren’t they one and the same? But in this sense. Will I dole out more money to imagine some girl’s boobs… uh yeah, imagine… And what was I doing last night, hmm? Or will I do anything to make some bucks in a legit way? Well, I’m already late getting up, and that’s because, um… The Pic Phenomenon. And next week is going to be effed up. Stay in bed or go out to get food? I would choose the bed, as my stomach doesn’t guide me. No! I need to power my devices. More porn and more print. Kindle Challenge? Horrible. But I vote to keep going, much like Virgil. Why? “Now that the world isn’t ending.” V’s For Voting, Braxton

866 Days Without B III, Day 307 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 343 ~B Steps Closer Virgil~

Every day I’m closer to B, but as the song goes, “I’m dying slow, but the devil tryna rush me. See, I’m a fool for pain…” If B were here, we’d both be sick. He’d still be trying to care for me. Didn’t share with V. He’s lucky? “B Steps Closer Virgil”

Friday, June 9, 2023

Saga 343 ~B Steps Closer Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. What can I tell you about pain? Besides bringing Braxton back and wasting time with porn…

PAIN! As I lay here last night in “my” pain, Lady Sophia. Should I even say that? I mean, I know where the pain is from. FUCK YOU, PIZZA HUT! Anyway, it’s my fault, Sophia. Or should I blame whichever book it was from the Succubus Lord series? Eight maybe. Lady Sophia, it was Eric Vall’s description of Buffalo Chicken Pizza. I was escaping my Comfort Zone. And now? Um, well, now, I’ve been in bed for three days, and it wasn’t my choice. I have people all up in my business because I’m sick. I’m tired as all Hell because I don’t want to be awake. So, I’m not downing energy shots. And I see Virgil isn’t helping anything. That’s not fair, but none of this is fair. Only…

Again I was lying here wanting to die from all the abdominal pain, and I started to think about Braxton. I’ve told you that story before, haven’t I? When I think of pain, there’s B. His death is the greatest pain I have ever known. Singing “Nothing Compares 2 U.” Braxton was going blind, but I hope his ears were okay or maybe not… whatever. Becoming even more of a selfish bastard seems to be a goal of my existence. I’m still looking for that billion bucks from somewhere. Philip Pullman is worth millions. Right? Now he knew something about pain with Lyra and Will’s love. How about their Dæmons? I should have read that series again instead of Vampire Academy… Rose and Lissa, naked…

Lady Sophia, I wouldn’t need to take a single step if I wanted to die. My steps were done when I carried Braxton to his death. Virgil to his life? That Buffalo Chicken pizza. Fuck! If anything, I can just lay here and just forget the world like last night. V was in B’s room. I can fucking masturbate to all these titties until I dehydrate. Apologies for the F-bombs. It’s like I told such and such, there is a time and a place… there’s pain, and uh, penis. Um? I should shut up. It hurts too much even to be up and about. Oh! I’m sitting in bed still. Virgil needs outside time. One foot in front of the other. B Steps Closer Virgil

859 Days Without B III, Day 300 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 336 ~B Leaving Ghosts Virgil~

What I “pray” for more than B’s return is a zombie apocalypse. They don’t scare me. Neither do ghosts or succubi. Dude wrote 19 books, and I can’t do one. Even when B was talking to me. Is he talking to V when I leave? B Leaving Ghosts Virgil

Friday, June 2, 2023

Saga 336 ~B Leaving Ghosts Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I’ll hire an army of psychiatrists, pet psychics, and paranormal experts. Tell them my stories…

It’s “Times Like These,” when I find it pretty damn impossible to commit any crimes… And when I’m sitting here at the dining room table. While Virgil lies upstairs crying, Sophia. It’s when the only thing I want to do is lie in bed. And before B guards, he cuddles. Is that why I was scooting further and further away this morning? What do the holy rollers say? Save room for the Holy Spirit? I wanted room for my Braxton. Is that why I destroyed his pillow by accident? He didn’t want V to have it… But everything else, hmm? I should stop reading all these ghost stories, supernatural shenanigans. And stuff on spirits. Speaking of which, I should buy some while I’m out today.

Excuse me for making a shopping list. I continue to time travel. And today is still Memorial Day, Monday, May 29, 2023. People mourn soldiers. Oh, and if they could only see what has become of this country. I don’t intend to write something on the state of politics. I’m a black writer, but what have I been reading, Sophia? My usual fanfare, right? You know. Satan’s Sorority Girls, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes… wtf happened to Lucy Gray Baird? And yet again, I’m listening to Succubus Lord 9. A deal with Hell? Been there. AHEM! Where’s that shopping list again? Um, I need light bulbs, sugar, and dog food. Lady Sophia, I don’t plan to make Virgil a ghost soon. I killed Braxton.

I scream that inside my head so often. Why should I be surprised I can’t hear B trying to talk to me? I keep mentioning that Virgil is not his reincarnation. I know that, Sophia. Only as I was saying, I heard Virgil crying today, and between not cuddling either… Monster? I am not a good man, Sophia. And in all the horrors I’ve seen. It’s people that are the worse. Braxton and I were like Scooby and Shaggy. To Virgil, I am the villain. There’s the fact that B’s smell must cover everything even now. V sees dead doggies. Zombies? How about ghosts since Virgil cries buckets when I leave? Is B III haunting? Something good for V? Trade places B Leaving Ghosts Virgil.

852 Days Without B III, Day 293 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will